non-lucid

Morning of November 23, 2017. Thursday.



I am living with my wife Zsuzsanna and our family as we are now at our present address. However, many threads of my conscious self identity become reduced over time until the waking transition. I leave our house, apparently to get something from a store, but end up walking south which soon ambiguously becomes north as my association is mixed with Wisconsin (where I have not lived since February 1994). It seems to be nighttime.

Over time, I am not sure where I am going but I continue to walk along the side of the road. I notice snow on the side of the road. My dream self does not consider how this area looks nothing like the area we live in real life. The fact that I do not know at all what is ahead does not bother me.

I remain as far from the middle of the road as possible as a few cars pass now and then. I consider that I am walking in an area where pedestrians are not allowed, though there is no sign indicating such. Soon, the snow banks on each side of the road are higher.

Eventually, I see an older couple in a station wagon. They are going in the opposite direction I am, down the side of the mountain, which is not that steep in this section. The unknown older lady asks me if the roads are clear for cars in the direction I had been walking from. I tell her that the roads are okay to drive through, as I had walked a considerable distance.

Following a curve in the road, which is now seemingly one lane and easterly, I eventually end up walking through a square tunnel. A thin layer of ice covers the walls. One car goes by me during this time, going in the opposite direction. By following the road, I somehow end up inside a business building. I stealthily walk through, noticing three people talking in one office. I view this through an indoor window. There are other offices on each side of a hallway. I am puzzled as to how to get back to the road, as I had just been on it prior to illogically finding myself here.

I enter a large room which seems like a public restaurant with round wooden tables sparsely arranged. An unknown male approaches me with a large flat piece of cardboard shaped like a person, painted over to represent a chubby male in informal clothes, and with eye holes to look through the face. The face is not that realistic and has a mustache. The piece has red vinyl straps connected (possibly by tacks) around the two-dimensional upper arms to hold it over my shoulders and upper arms, though my arms can still move freely. I am to wear it over the front of my body, though its legs are too long by at least a foot and bend out in front of me when I wear it, horizontally dragging and remaining against the floor. The other male is puzzled, though I do not tell him that I am not involved in whatever is going on. Instead, I say, “I am the stand-in”, and he seems to understand.

I am to dance with another male who is not in such an odd cardboard cutout “costume”. He is unknown and sitting at a table with a few other people, mostly female. He is wearing a cowboy outfit with a fancy hat. Curiously, he also has some sort of red straps attached to his shoulders for no discernible reason.

I start dancing on my own and my moves and balance feel perfect. The other people are seemingly amazed by how well I am moving (especially considering the odd cardboard “costume” covering the front of my body). I dance and feel a sense of well-being for several minutes. It seems I will be filmed as part of test footage until the real actors or performers show up. However, I eventually do not feel like being a part of this scenario anymore, mainly due to not being confident about either waltz moves (where I visualize hands shoulder to shoulder and the other arms out horizontally with hands clasped, towards the direction of movement) or dancing with a male (who reminds me vaguely of Burt Reynolds at about sixty), and deliberately leave the dream state with very clear intent even though I had not been lucid at any point, yet with the knowledge I had deliberately created much of my dream from the beginning. This has happened often throughout my life. It is a type of non-lucid dream control.

---

Factors like non-lucid dream control (creating or influencing the dream without realizing it is a dream, typically not even remembering what a dream is) and literal prescience (with too much detail to be coincidence, including finding and marrying my beautiful literal dream girl) cannot be explained at all by what the majority seem to believe and experience. What part of the mind or extent of threads of conscious self identity and ephemeral synthesized fictional dream self viewpoints or combinations thereof account for this? How does one wake themselves so easily and intentionally from a dream without actively knowing it is a dream up to that very point? (This is not the same as knowing it is a dream and deliberately waking.) These concepts of course, are only part of the great puzzle of my life.

---

Morning of November 19, 2017. Sunday.



I am wading through a shallow stream along its course (seemingly north by way of liminal perception of my real physical body in bed). I eventually notice two unknown people, a male and a female, on the bank to my right. The water is only up to my knees. The experience is vivid and peaceful. There is the idea that the unknown male is going to make a dam. At least he suggests building one, though I am the one to make it.

He says that he will use about ten to fifteen trees to make the dam but the female is seemingly annoyed by this. The concern is related to a loss of trees in the dense forest on either side of the stream. I consider her concern, but there does seem to be plenty of trees around.

I create the dam by mentally tapping each tree (without viable lucidity, only by way of typical liminal dream control where I do not know I am dreaming but still control the dynamics of the dream state), which for a time, only seems about as big as a pencil as it falls across the stream.

After this, I notice the water lowering to where it is only about as high as my toes, though this is seen on both sides of the log dam, which puzzles me. How could water lower on both sides of a dam? I mentally step over the dam and continue to follow the stream’s course to a small pond.

“This is a shallow reservoir,” says the male.

I notice a very large footprint that is about the length of a car. It is facing back towards the stream. This singular footprint is what had apparently caused the pond to form (which of course is unlikely, though my dream self does not rationalize). I first consider that it is a footprint of a tyrannosaurus. Looking more closely, I report to the others that it was made by a giant duck. There is no sense of danger as I perceive most of the imagery in my dream as beautiful.

---

Return flight waking symbolism (in this case, the presumed giant footprint of a duck combined with the water lowering waking autosymbolism) has been a main component of my dreams since early childhood.

Because of my slightly restless sleep, there was one other dream featuring a dam on this day, but with different dynamics and a more dominant preconscious.

---

Morning of November 19, 2017. Sunday.



There is a dream scenario related to John-Boy Walton, though it is too modern to relate directly to “The Waltons” in a logical sense. It has something to do with him having a book on bondage and other adult content.

In an unrelated offset sequence, I have to get a bee out of my left ear. I tilt my head to the left while in bed and even tap the right side of my head and shake my head a little (even though, of course, the dream self does not have a physical head). Over time, the bee eventually comes out and I wake as soon as it does. It does not bother me that much as I know the process of getting it out is working.

---

The first part of my dream likely relates to our oldest son (although John-Boy has appeared in a number of my dreams since I first saw “The Homecoming”). The “adult content” and “bondage” is likely more about him now being an adult and working as there were no clearer graphic adult implications.

The rest of my dream is typical waking autosymbolism though unique as always and more defined than usual. There is the usual flight symbol that represents the return to wakefulness after being unconscious (vestibular system correlation). A buzzing insect typically relates to increasing neural energy upon becoming more aware of the return to consciousness. This all relates more specifically to inner ear dynamics (and that which causes partial unconsciousness or dizziness in some cases, though I do not have that problem) and RAS (Reticular Activating System). Another dream, “Ear or Wing?”, from July 5, 2016, had the same meaning (as do the majority of my dreams since childhood), though in that dream, a sketchy image of a left ear becomes more like the sketchy image of a bird’s wing.

---

Morning November 19, 2017. Sunday.



In the first part of my dream, I walk out into a beautiful scene of sunlight and family in an area near a lake and forest. There is a focus on love and well-being. Over time, a situation comes into focus, though it is based on a fictional location of our home.

As usual, my non-lucid dream self aka personified subconscious is completely clueless as to where I really live. Instead, my dream’s home is a cottage in a field that does not resemble our present home at all. The field is bordered by a forest beyond the backyard.

I become annoyed at learning of a project that relates to a dam being built, which I feel will be too close to our home. It looks like they already started.

In one scene, I find myself talking to someone in a park ranger outfit. He is this dream’s personified preconscious, Leo Wyatt (Brian Krause) as he appeared on “Charmed” (which I have not seen for years). He is sitting across the table from me in my fictional house. He tells me that the people building the dam are doing it illegally and are Greenpeace activists. He seems cheerful and jokes about their inability to do things correctly and thereby, they do more harm than good. He seems to be giving me permission to act in whatever way I choose to stop their activities from interfering with the state of my house.

I go outside and cuss at an unfamiliar male and tip part of the supposed dam over onto the ground. It is not really a dam yet, just an object shaped like a rectangular prism, slightly reminiscent of a washing machine or oven (though of too ambiguous an appearance to discern as either). I notice several unfamiliar people in the area, both male and female, all in their twenties. One unknown male is carrying several faux wooden rifles that have only the basic shape of a rifle. I am wondering what the point is of having such an object as it neither looks like a real weapon or could be used as one, even though it seems it will be their way of “fighting”. Eventually, it looks like the flowing of the water or the dam structure will not reach where our home is and I wake.

---

Dreams have clear core meanings relating to the nature of being unconscious and achieving consciousness, though based on the level of unconsciousness and the particular time within the sleeping period. This dream is virtually the opposite in implication (if one were to pretend to “interpret” it rather than grasping its actual meaning) as another dream of this same sleeping period.

The flow of water relates directly to the dynamics of sleep (based biologically on the glymphatic system) and the particular timing of the sleep cycle and how relaxed one is, including how relaxed their physical body is while sleeping - evidenced by the fact that most recorded sleeping aids utilize the sounds of water, from oceans to rivers to waterfalls. A dam relates to slightly restless sleep, but it is mainly about water lowering waking symbolism (extremely common, at least once per sleeping period for me for over fifty years).

So why did I cheerfully create a dam in “A Shallow Stream’s Dam”, also of today’s date, while “knocking over” another dam in this dream? In both dreams, the preconscious was atypically cheerful, though in that dream, there was an attempt at reinduction (that is, to sustain and deepen my dream state), though my act of creating the dam curiously caused the water to lower on both sides of it (rather than increase the essence of water on one side, to deepen my sleep) and eventually led me into the link to return flight waking symbolism (the giant duck’s footprint that had created a pond linked to the stream). In this dream, the water lowering waking symbolism is of the same implication, yet occurs by preventing the dam being completed near my (fictional) house and there is no discernible stream to begin with, just pieces of the dam lying about in the clearing. Although this might be considered an aggressive act, my subliminal realization of this waking symbolism is what caused the rifles held by the other dream character to not be “real”, as a “real” rifle would be a more dominant rendering of RAS (reticular activating system, the biological function that mediates sleeping and waking and level of awareness), but because I had already subliminally stopped reinduction in this dream (that is, not lengthened my dream or deepened or sustained my level of unconsciousness), no “real” weapon was needed to truncate or alter the dream state as a wake-up alert. In simple summary the other dream reveals, “I would like to sleep longer” while this later dream (in the same sleeping period) reveals, “I do not need to sleep any longer and am ready to get up for the day”. The fake wooden rifles also represent the softer awakening, that is, without a hypnopompic kick or other spontaneous muscular waking trigger.

---

Morning of November 6, 2017. Monday.



In my dream, I am seemingly implied to be in our present home, though it is very different. For a time, our youngest son is watching television and our youngest daughter is also present. (In my dream, our television seems to be in the center of a much larger version of our kitchen and facing north. In actuality, it is in our lounge room and faces south.)

At one point, there are distortions in the television screen. There is too much red dominating the overall image. I read the instruction manual and there is information about adjusting colors. It specifically mentions that the small elongated knob for adjusting red is to the right of the knob for adjustment of the extent of black and that the knob for red must be turned to the left to decrease the color and prevent it from being too bright or bleeding into other images. There are a number of small plastic knobs on the back of the television.

After a time, I notice that it appears to have worked. The picture looks a bit more balanced. However, I eventually notice that features that are supposed to be red (including some sort of oval timer superimposed at the top left of the screen) are now a pale purple and I consider adjusting it again.

Our youngest son watches a show about video games and their characters. I notice that the television is on its side so that now the image is vertically rectangular, yet fits the scenes that show people standing, as their feet are correctly downward. This seems strange to me. Eventually however, the television is back in its previous position where it is viewed as normal widescreen. Still, I had placed it on the floor yet consider it is not really watchable while in that position. During this time, I had not adjusted other knobs.

I adjust the knob for red again, slowly turning it a short distance back to the right, as well as turning a few knobs for other colors. Soon, something happens and the picture becomes smaller and there are now only random horizontal white lines on the screen. This occurs after a sort of popping noise. Our youngest daughter puts her feet against the screen. I consider that I must have destroyed the television by changing the colors too much. I know that it will be very expensive to replace.

I go to tell Zsuzsanna about the ruined television. She is sitting back on our bed. At first, I think she had injured her forehead somehow. I eventually see that she has a black sleeping eye mask partly on though the eye patches are doubled up on her forehead, above the area between her eyes. My dream eventually fades from this point.

---

There are a few subliminal dream state indicators here. One is how the television is on its side at one point as relating to how the physical body is different in sleep in lying down - as well as the eyes seeing the environment as “turned sideways” when lying on one’s side. The main indicator is my subliminal knowledge of red being an end marker for the dream state. Red typically only dominates a dream when I am closer to waking after sleeping a bit too long and as such, is analogous to a “red alert” (a more dominating RAS factor). Although I am not lucid, I still maintain this realization subliminally, and deliberately lower the red value in the television’s image. I do this by turning the knob to the left with the knob for black on the left side of that one, black symbolizing being unconscious, so a part of my unconsciousness is aware of this, that is, deliberately trying to go back into unconsciousness to sustain my dream, even though I am not otherwise viably lucid.

This aspect of black as symbolizing unconsciousness is carried over as a dream state indicator in seeing Zsuzsanna in bed though awake, yet having a black sleeping eye mask doubled up over her “third eye”. (The third eye refers to the gate that leads to inner realms, yet I still do not realize I am dreaming at this point. There have been thousands of dreams with very precise dream state indicators as in this dream, where I still did not become viably lucid, though many others where I have.)

---

Morning of November 6, 2017. Monday.



I am riding on a bus in an unknown area, possibly implied to be at night as I am not aware of much light. There are only a few other people on the bus, all unfamiliar. The bus driver is an unfamiliar female of about thirty. She is on the right side and the door is on the left, so it can be assumed to be associated with Australia. However, in my dream, I am not fully focused on my country of location, though mixed features and composites of buildings from two or more countries are common in my dreams. I perceive myself as being about half of my real age and in my twenties.

An unknown female is ready to get off the bus at the next stop, which is apparently also my stop. Curiously, the bus driver also checks out library books as people get off, which my dream self does not consider odd at all, though I do not recall any backstory as to where I had actually gotten the books. I do not notice any area on the bus that has books stored.

As I am getting my books checked out from the bus driver, I realize that I am also holding a number of my socks, perhaps about eight pairs, but I have accidentally dropped three or four onto the floor as well as into a laundry bag (that is full of other people’s socks) near the bus driver’s seat, on her left (and in front of me). I am somewhat annoyed upon doing this, as I do not want to lose my socks. I wake around this point.

---

As I have studied my dreams all my life and resolved most of them and their basic meanings and components (including literal prescience when it comes to pass, which is very common for me), this one, despite its unusual nature, is very easy to grasp. It is simply a combination of two typical dream state end markers mashed together with a dream state indicator into one situation.

Getting off a bus symbolizes leaving the dream state. A checkout area (as otherwise in a store, library, hotel, or other location) also symbolizes leaving the dream state. Being aware of socks in this case is a dream state indicator as I do not wear socks in my sleep and thus perceive myself as carrying them in the waking transition. Books are a symbol of the emergent consciousness (a link to my conscious self identity of which is not extant in many non-lucid dreams) as critical thinking skills are not extant in non-lucid dreams. Basically, with this dream, my mind simply mixed the two transitional dream state end markers with a dream state indicator (subliminal thread of awareness that I had become unconscious but not with viable lucidity).

The core meaning, with a typical pattern of dream state synthesis (that is, mixing unrelated linear events, in this case as leaving a bus mixed with leaving a library and additionally linked to the subliminal realization of needing to get dressed after waking) should be obvious to a person of reasonable intelligence. One reason why I dream in a continuous cycle as such and virtually infinite mixes of specific markers for induction, dreaming itself, non-lucid dream state indicators, and otherwise clearly defined waking transitions, is due to having sincerely studied and resolved so many of my dreams since early childhood and as a result, have become very familiar with them and their nature as well as augmented clarity of mind with virtually no nightmares other than when health-related (biologically premonitory). There is nothing here (presently) that relates to real life (at least not yet, and I have not ridden a bus in real life in years - though it may loosely relate to the memory of carrying textbooks on a school bus).

---

For those who do not already know, the bus driver here is the preconscious, though in this case there is no conflict as my dream self had already subliminally “agreed” to wake. (The biological purpose of the preconscious, a function of the reticular activating system or RAS, is to establish an association with the need to wake and attend to real physical needs or to alert the unconscious self to a real environmental noise or unknown event.)

---

Morning of November 4, 2017. Saturday.



Dream Series: The Experience of Prescience, the Inexplicable Dream State Phenomenon. Part 3

---

Over time, I become aware of a very unlikely situation (which has no discernible backstory), although my dream self does not consider it unusual. I am resting outside in an unknown location on the side of a hill that is about the height of a one-storey house (when not elevated on stumps or with a higher roof as our house has). It also seems to be part of a house on one level. I have a blanket over me. I am aware of a number of unknown people also sleeping on the hill or “building” and within the sparse framework. It seems to be nighttime.

It begins to rain lightly and this hill or odd pyramidal building (note that the roof of our house in real life is pyramidal) seems to take on unusual properties as if it was made out of miscellaneous junk and tarpaulins as well as at least fifty percent dirt. I feel a bit uneasy, but not uncomfortable. It begins to collapse due to stormy weather, the metal part of the tarpaulins noisily clattering on other parts of the framework, which seems somewhat oppressive after a time, but I do not respond with emotion or fear. I cover myself fully with my blanket, including my head. The hill or building is eventually flattened though no one is hurt. No one talks directly to me. I look up at the sky and notice very unusual clouds passing overhead. They have very unusual shapes and atypical colors, some vaguely similar to jigsaw puzzle pieces. I enjoy seeing them but I do not know if it is suitable to sleep here now.

I get up and walk through a doorway to find a better place to sleep indoors. I am vaguely aware that the room is modeled after the Loomis Street house’s living room, though it is more like a cave. To my left, in an armchair recliner, is a large Minotaur. In front of me is a couch with the back oriented to the right of my viewpoint. The furniture layout is the same as it was in the Loomis Street house living room. There are other features that I do not directly focus on. I consider sleeping on the couch.

“You’re not sleeping there,” says the Minotaur somewhat frustratingly, as he notices me looking at the couch, though indicating no anger or threatening posture. It almost seems as if he is afraid of me or at least does not want anyone else intruding on his relaxing environment. Eventually, I decide to turn around and find myself in my own bed in reality upon waking up.

---

Friday, 30 March 2018: What I presently understand about this dream, based on the following real-life event: A few days after this dream, on November 7, a totally unexpected devastating storm (with very atypical clouds prior to it - unusual shapes and of odd colors), tore the roof from our house and carried it down the street, where it landed in front of another house.

My family and I had to endure over a month of large tarpaulins slamming against what was left of the front part of our roof. (The noise was almost ear-splitting and my family had to leave the house at times, though there were days when it was not as noisy.) This devastating storm was so unexpected, there were still a few people working on the street near our house only minutes before. Members of my family had been out to see a movie, and had taken the bus. If the timing had been different by only one minute (when they had come in the house), there would have been more serious consequences.

What is usually RAS personification (for preconscious RAS mediation or modulation) is the Minotaur in this case, and an association with my brother-in-law Bob. It seems pertinent however, that bulls were only otherwise a recurring RAS modulation factor (bulls crashing through the wall for example, as a WAF - waking alert factor) in very early childhood, which should have told me there was something in this dream’s autosymbolism that was very atypical and of which was a warning. The fact remains however, even if I had fully known of this event beforehand, there was little that could have been done. Additionally, another literal factor that came to pass was members of my family sleeping under a destroyed roof covered by large tarpaulins. Zsuzsanna and I slept on the floor in the front room for a time, until the destroyed beds and roof were replaced. This is part 3 of what will be at least 500 parts, as prescience is a major factor of my dreaming history other than autosymbolism and auto-scripting. These main factors of dreams are usually completely ignored by most of modern society.

---

Afternoon of August 8, 1976. Sunday. About 4:30 PM.



In real life at about 4:30 in the afternoon, I had fallen asleep in my Cubitis home’s southwest bedroom (with the bed’s head against the middle of the south wall and my mother’s desk to the left of the bed). While I was still sleeping, my mother had come in to do some writing at her desk. The room was warm, almost uncomfortably so.

---

In my dream, I am wandering about in what is apparently the location of “The Bob Newhart Show” television series. Not many events stayed in my memory as it may have been mostly replays from the series from having seen it in real life.

Near the end of my dream (about the time my mother starts talking loudly in reality), I see Bob Newhart walking quickly towards a revolving door from within the lobby of a building. He smiles at me in sincere friendliness and cheerfulness and waves while carrying his briefcase in his other hand. He goes into the revolving door to leave the building.

At this exact point, I am rudely awakened by my mother exclaiming, seemingly in a sarcastic manner, “Boy, that must be some dream!” I was somewhat disoriented about my location before fully waking.

Apparently, I had been grinning widely in my sleep. She thought I was dreaming about girls, but I was so annoyed by her presumption and having been woken up, I never told her what I had actually been dreaming about.

---

Most relevant key terms:

• Interrupted dream from my mother speaking loudly and waking me up.
• Doorway waking symbolism. A doorway symbolizes here, the potential exit point of the dream state in real time.
• Preconscious as male celebrity (actor and comedian) ascending into emergent consciousness with happiness and no conflict.
• Revolving door as symbolizing puzzlement in higher liminal space as representing my dream being truncated, with uncertainty over my dream ending or reintiating.
• While sleeping in my Cubitis home’s southwest bedroom instead of my bedroom.
• Grinning while sleeping and dreaming.

---

Morning of October 29, 2017. Sunday.



My wife Zsuzsanna and our children as we appear now are living in a new distortion of the Cubitis house (where I have not lived since 1978 and where Zsuzsanna and our children have never been).

It is unique in that most of the northwest corner of the living room is directly open to outside, additionally with no discernible carport that was there in real life (this alteration never having occurred in any previous dream as all dream settings are unique and different from each other, at least in my lifelong dreaming history), yet also with some sort of set of screen doors (a play on “screening” RAS in this case). It is seemingly nighttime throughout the entire dream. I notice the preconscious (an unknown male of about thirty-five) sitting in a lawn chair in the front yard, at about a forty-five degree angle in facing towards the doors from about fifteen feet away. He has a flashlight or some sort of small lamp. He seems to be cheerful, but I am aggravated by him being in the front yard and watching my family.

As a result of a subliminal dream state awareness, I find myself holding two barbells (without the weights), my weapon of choice in this type of dream, though I typically only have one (though in this case, subliminal dream control seems closer to viable lucidity). I cross the barbells across my chest in an X shape and tell the preconscious to leave my dream and to stop watching my family. However, he phases through the screen door and is then in the living room. Before there is coalescence (waking integration of dream self and emergent consciousness), I somehow trigger a shift (probably by the X over my chest) to where the doorway waking symbolism is decremented.

I then (non-lucidly) create a number of dream servants (all male in this case) who take the preconscious and other characters that had been in the front yard to a zoo that is presumably south of the house by about seven lots (probably near where my brother Earl’s southerly neighbor lived in real life in the mid-1970s).

I have my dream servants take the preconscious and his minions into a “deeper” section of the zoo, behind stacks of possibly empty cardboard boxes (which symbolize parts of the mind or memory that are inactive in the dream state). I am aware that there are a number of large wild animals walking around freely, but I am not within that section. I reason that they (the unwanted male characters) will not be able to leave unless I allow them to. I know there are elephants and rhinoceroses there, the main animals I think about, and I also hear them.

While standing near the empty cardboard boxes, an unusual monkey jumps up on one at about waist height. It walks mostly on all fours and is about the size of a kitten. I consider that it seems like some sort of unlikely miniature baboon rather than a normal monkey or ape. It lightly nibbles on my fingers, which makes me slightly wary at first, but then I decide that it probably will not bite me. Perhaps it is hungry.

As it turns out, it is a kitten, as my oldest daughter’s new pet kitten had been lightly nibbling on my fingers in reality as I was sleeping.

---

Morning of October 29, 2017. Sunday.



I am in an unknown room that is about twice the size of our lounge room. It seems to be a public area, but only at certain times, resulting in ambiguity in also being our implied home. As a result, there are no associations with unknown people who are present at times as being intruders as in many other dreams. Also, everyone else in my dream remains cheerful except for the baby in the last scene.

There is a story in the background, unrelated to the main scenario, that relates to someone traveling by motorcycle. There is a video about it but I do not fully focus on it. There is also a point at which one of my dark-haired female teachers (implied only) from elementary school appears, though this character is actually unknown and unfamiliar.

I decide to get a haircut because I notice a few strands that are longer than they should be. I had just gotten a haircut in this place, but another one will be given. There is no association with money or paying for the service. I watch, apparently in a mirror, as long clusters from my otherwise short hair are combed out and cut, mostly from the back. The detail is very realistic.

After this, I look at my hair and hairstyle. I decide to comb my hair to the other side from how it was cut and styled. This makes it look slightly wrong, so I decide to get a third haircut.

A little later, I discover I have a short Mohawk and I have no hair at all on either side of it. I cannot work out what happened. I consider that I must have fallen asleep and that they had probably given me anesthesia without me realizing it (or even giving permission). I have no memory of any hair being cut this short or of a razor shaving my head on each side. (Even though questioning if I had fallen asleep is one of the most obvious dream state indicators possible, I do not question my present status of possibly being asleep and dreaming. As a haircut symbolizes the real-time dynamics of neural energy in REM sleep, having been “asleep” in my dream validates now having only a small amount of hair down the middle of the top of my head.) I am somewhat angry and self-conscious about this haircut but not that outwardly emotional or vocal about it. The unknown male who had apparently done this says it is the best haircut I could have for my face and that I look good. I consider this and decide that it might be okay to go out in public like this, as some men have no hair at all. I note how smooth the hairless areas of my head are, so it was a very good job on their part, as there were no accidental cuts either.

Only a short time later, I discover that my hair is as it was before I got the first haircut (though it is now longer than it is in real life). I am puzzled, yet I do not realize that this could only happen in a dream (and it symbolizes my emergent consciousness being more viable at this point, though the preconscious is never directly dominant or aggressive in this situation, though this was not my last dream of the day). I am trying to mentally resolve how they could have done this, but it does not seem possible (and I do not converse with them about this). On one level, I am glad my hair is as it was, but the mystery remains.

Meanwhile, there is an offset scenario where a baby seems to be having difficulty in remaining on stacks of books in a plastic storage box. He drops down into a couple rows of lower stacks on his left a few times (as the older boys place him back on the highest stacks each time) and cries about bumping down onto the books. Our youngest son and a few other boys are looking at the baby who I see in profile with his head oriented to the right of the scene. I make a comment to them about being careful with him, though he does not seem to be hurt.

---

Despite this being a perfect opportunity to become lucid, I do not. It almost seems like a subliminal experiment to test myself, as a haircut symbolizes associations with the level of neural energies in the dream state in real time (with no RAS activation, only a slight shift in levels of consciousness). The baby on the books in the storage box is a metaphor for critical thinking skills not being extant in the dream state. In fact, this is direct parallel symbolism analogous to my failure to realize my dream state by way of the impossible hair changes and real time neural energy dynamics and their level and length (length of time for emergent consciousness viability as a play on length of hair). (Dropping down onto a lower stack of books relates to decreasing dynamics of conscious self identity in the dream state despite this being near the end of my dream, though again, not the last dream of the sleeping period or with sustained wakefulness afterwards, which clarifies and validates this dual symbolism.)

---

Morning of October 27, 2017. Friday.



I am back in the Loomis Street house (where I have not been since February 1994) and sitting in the armchair (recliner) my brother-in-law Bob usually sat in (though my relatives are not present). A few unfamiliar people are present as well as my wife Zsuzsanna (though younger).

There is an unknown male sitting at the dining room table (west end). I am reading articles in a number of different magazines over time. They are older magazines, possibly from the late 1960s, and I find them interesting. I look for articles of a similar theme or series but cannot seem to find all the ones I want to read after I find the first article as “perfect”.

Eventually, I hear music, and sing perfectly (that is, I correctly sing all the lyrics) along with it.

“You crawl along the sand, and over twisted hand, but you cannot find your way, while that gull up in the air, he’s gonna circle there, and then he’s gonna fly away…”

“And you see the fog move in, and it blankets the shore, but it can’t blanket sin, and so as long as you’re going to stay, down on the sand that way, you are never gonna win…”

“You build a driftwood fire, and as the flames grow higher, they don’t help you find your way, for the smoke burns your weary eyes, and then you start to cry, and crying only blurs the way…”

“And you see the fog move in…”

The unknown male makes some sort of sarcastic comments about the music, indicating he does not like it. For some reason, I assume he is a religious zealot of some kind.

“That was one of my favorite songs when I was a boy,” I say. “I don’t care what you think.” I then call him a few rude names. “You like to control people and make them like you,” I continue, “with your religious beliefs…”

I tell him that he should like the song because it has the word “sin” in it, and he is the type to complain about other people “sinning” (aka “enjoying life”) based on his own failures. I start talking more loudly, saying how his main purpose seems to be to control other people’s minds. I call him more rude names. I tell him I do not like pop music.

Eventually, I realize that he has gotten up from sitting at the table and has somehow become only about five inches tall (apparently due to my yelling at him). He is running around in an open area on the south side of the room, where the bay window is no longer present as the house is directly open to the side yard. There is an analog television there (directly where the wall would otherwise be), but of which is mostly hollow. He scurries in and out of it zigzagging around that area as a young version of Zsuzsanna looks on. I perceive this would-be preacher as the homeless male (though not a hippie) living on the beach. I realize that I have yelled at him enough, as he might disappear completely if I continue, and I do not want to be responsible for eliminating someone that controls other people’s minds even if I am free of such influence. From here, I wake.

---

This is the second time recently when the preconscious has atypically been rendered as very small, the other instance being in “Another ‘Supernatural’ Adventure” from the 25th of this month, though this time under my command, which is very rare (though happened in “War of the Serpents” from September 1969 when I took control of RAS and put the upright moving snake, the most dynamic RAS waking trigger, back to sleep and then carried it like a baby). The hollow television symbolizes being in the dream state without a potential for cohesive continuity (which acknowledges there is “no more picture”, similar to the small living idols mimicking the falling or sliding hypnopompic waking trigger in my last “Supernatural” dream), though it is curious how this song came to mind, as I have not heard it in a long time. These dreams seem to be the result of reflecting upon a few times in the past (as I had planned on writing about it in more detail soon) when I had apparent control over RAS to avoid the waking start. Direct control over RAS in non-lucidity is probably ill-advised, though it seems to only result in oversleeping and sometimes mild nausea (the same as with fainting I guess, since RAS is involved with both, though I have never fainted in my life).

---

Morning of October 17, 2017. Tuesday.



My wife Zsuzsanna and our family as we appear now are living in the Cubitis house. There is a gentle rain. I am aware that our oldest son will be returning from his job (same job as in real life despite the erroneous 1978 setting of Florida rather than here in Australia). I contemplate if one of us should go and get him so that he will not get wet walking back in the rain. Zsuzsanna says that she will when the time comes.

I am in the living room with Zsuzsanna. I look out the windows into the Cubitis backyard (it seems to be late morning but still raining) and notice a row of tall purple larkspurs that are close to the windows, under the awnings, and parallel to the entire east side of the house. They are not yet in full bloom. I think about asking Zsuzsanna when she planted them (perhaps very early on the previous morning), as I do not recall when she could have done this, which puzzles me slightly as I consider how wonderfully industrious and sedulous she is.

In an area near the center of the large backyard are a few weeds where there is otherwise mostly short grass, but I also see about three or four potato plants in a couple random spots. It is raining, so I will pull out the weeds later. There is a vivid sense of love and peace.

Zsuzsanna tells me that our oldest son will probably be off work about an hour early, as people do not usually shop there when it is raining. (This turned out to be prescient curiously enough, and it has not happened in this way before. I fail to see why people would stay home from shopping just because it is raining, but I guess I forgot that some people are “depressed” by rainy weather, whereas I am not.)

---

I have been a devoted dream journalist all my life (and I even married my literal dream girl) and yet have never held any interest or belief in “interpretation”, mainly because my dreams, other than literally prescient threads, naturally decode themselves prior to fully waking, revealing their origins and manner of synthesis, but also because my dreams have held the same basic components and patterns, especially variations of waking symbolism and the same RAS triggers (such as emergent alertness to real environmental noise) since early childhood.

---

Look closely at the threads that are accurate and those that have no basis for accuracy.

My personified subconscious (dream self) is aware that I am happily married to Zsuzsanna, yet we are living in a house in America (Florida), where Zsuzsanna (and our children) have never been and I have not been since 1978 when I was only seventeen. (Zsuzsanna and our children have always lived in Australia.) This is not even the house in Wisconsin I was living in years before Zsuzsanna and I first began writing to each other.

My dream self is aware that it is raining in real life at our present location (and in fact, this dream began within seconds of falling asleep again) and (again, as in the above paragraph) I am in a different house in my dream, also aware that it is raining, yet without the awareness of where I am in time and space (and how interesting is that?).

I am aware that our oldest son has a job and even the exact location of where he works, and yet again, there is no conflict between the impossible contrast of living in Cubitis (an isolated rural area through which only a small highway intersected) and in an urban area in a different country. (My dream self usually does not find the implication of either bilocation or mixed-up composites, which are very common in my dreams, as unusual in any way.)

I am aware that there are weeds in our backyard in real life (it has been raining continuously for a few days), yet (again) this is rendered into the backyard of an incorrect setting.

Despite the otherwise fictional nature of this scenario, there are a few real-life factors, and even a typical thread of prescience (which I have always experienced on a day-to-day basis, yet do not always go into detail about as my entries are often already very long).

---

Morning of October 13, 2017. Friday.



My wife Zsuzsanna and our children are living in the Loomis Street house (with no recall on my part that she has never been to America and no recall of my relatives of whom lived in the house). Although our youngest son is the age he is now, our youngest daughter is a baby.

We all seem to be going out as a family, though I am not sure if it includes a shopping trip or perhaps a movie. At one point, I begin to have concern about where our youngest daughter has gotten off to, though I consider that, as she is a baby, she would probably not have gone off on her own somewhere, at least very far.

As I am sitting on the couch in the living room (facing north as it was in reality when I was last there) and our youngest son is to my left in an armchair and getting ready for us to go out, I see that our baby daughter is inside one of my shoes on the floor in front of me, though a bit to my left. I see her face looking out from the opening of my shoe. She is lying on her back looking out. I am puzzled about how she ended up inside my shoe like this. Perhaps she crawled into it and had fallen asleep for a time. I do not consider that her size is impossibly small. I am somewhat relieved that I now know where she is.

I am concerned about her for a short time. She makes a couple faces, but also seems to be holding her breath at one point, her cheeks puffing out. My concern passes as she continues to make different faces, moving her mouth and eyes in unusual ways. She seems cheerful and amused.

---

It always amazes me how vivid a dream can be and realistic in some ways yet totally absurd in others, and yet my non-lucid dream self does not question such impossible nonsense at all.

---

Morning of October 9, 2017. Monday.



Zsuzsanna and I are sleeping in our bed in our present home, the bed being of the same orientation as in reality, though I perceive the house as somewhat different. It seems to be early morning.

Looking to my left, I see a tiger in a cage. It is close to our bed and parallel and longways to our bed. The tiger is lying on its stomach and does not seem either agitated or threatening.

There are ambiguous thoughts that cause me to contemplate that the “cage” (with vertical bars) is actually a baby cot, as, in real life, the cot is in this location and also has vertical bars. After a short time, I feel movement. It takes me a few seconds to realize that our bed is moving westerly, head first, rather than the “cage” being towed away easterly as I first considered (as there was a vague thought that it was part of a train).

I see a tall shadow on the wall (the part of the wall where our last telephone was in real life). I first “realize” that it is my shadow, then I realize that the bodily proportions are wrong and it is probably our youngest son (even though his head’s silhouette almost reaches the ceiling). This makes me consider, in semi-lucidity, that he is awake (which was true). The setting is then back to normal. No tiger, no movement.

---

Most of this dream is based on residual literal memory carried into the dream state. This is especially true of a bed scene, which is sometimes more of a result of a partial waking unless there is more distortion or a different location, though it is still not symbolic, simply the subliminal memory of having fallen asleep.

As already mentioned, we do have a “cage” (cot) to the left of our bed in reality. Additionally, there is a very large wall clock featuring a tiger in our lounge room, to the left of the door. The dream state confusion (basic thinking skills are not usually extant in non-lucid dreams) of a tiger image and the cot is unsurprising and not mysterious at all, especially as we have small stuffed tigers (of a somewhat realistic appearance) that had been in the cot at times in the past.

A telephone’s location (even if no longer relevant to where one is now) relates to the dream self’s subliminal awareness of communication with the conscious self identity or other factors outside of the dream state. A human shadow is usually my conscious self identity “looking into” (metaphorically) the dream state. In this case however, it was seemingly our youngest son. My dream self was perceiving his real physical essence as he was already awake.

---

Morning of October 7, 2017. Saturday.



In the first part of my dream, I am seated at a picnic table, though it appears to be some sort of school. I am sitting at the third picnic table from the front of the class where the teacher is. (I am sitting in about the middle on the side opposite the side closest to the front of the room. I am facing the front of the room.)

At one point, a young version of Zsuzsanna comes in and sits down directly on my left. The teacher objects to this, claiming that my talking to other students will distract from the class. I threaten him and tell him that he should not be so disrespectful of natural human relationships.

He comes over to us with a folded piece of paper, opens it, and starts trying to “teach” us about vampires, zombies, and fictional creatures in general, that is, integrating them into a calculus problem, and I inform him that those are not even real, not a part of life (at least my life), and I then tell him that he is crazy and should not be teaching such garbage.

Eventually, there is some sort of activity outside. Apparently, a road has been altered by some sort of “flaw in time”. I and the other students start to take notes to determine what the source of the problem is.

The road is unusual, as traveling in one direction, one sees roadkill (at least three unidentifiable dead animals) but traveling in the opposite direction, one sees a couple rabbits and a groundhog or two. These are apparently the animals that have died when traveling from the other direction. I start to consider that it may actually relate to the mentality and beliefs of the people walking or driving down that road.

The students stand in a long line along the road (parallel to the road) doing calculus equations to discover what is going on. I notice a young boy who is writing on a large sheet of paper. I tell him to make sure he is solving the vertical parts of the equation (such as complex fractions, though the imagery actually does have unrealistic longer vertical sequences including sigma summation in vertical form) as well as the horizontal and he nods and tells me that he is. I then ask him if he knows what the symbols are, specifically the “sideways M” (sigma), and he nods again. I look again to see if there are any symbols for vampires or other nonsense. My dream fades from here.

---