non-lucid

Morning of December 14, 2017. Thursday.



The first part of my dream is unremembered other than undefined patterns of passive family activity. My dream self (personified subconscious) is already in the waking space when my dream becomes clear and vivid.

The typical waking space is rendered as a porch (my most common real-time liminal space symbol since early childhood, which symbolizes a specific state of unconsciousness between dreaming and waking), although it is the Barolin Street house’s porch. We have not lived there since the beginning of 2008. The personified subconscious has no concept of time or space (or any critical thinking skills). As a result, I do not regard this error of residence and accept it as our “real” and present home. I am uncertain of the implied time, though it seems to be night.

Three unknown visitors are at the porch door, which is open; two males and a female. However, the entrance to the porch is incorrectly rendered on the south end rather than its real location at the front, which is east. In the role of my personified subconscious (which is just a distorted filter, not a “mind” with any semblance of intellect), I do not “know” anything, and accept it as “real”.

I do not see the three visitors as intruders, which means that my dream self (at least at this specific point) is ready to coalesce back into waking consciousness. (This is a subliminal mechanism. I am not lucid.) They start to talk about a dead fish that is on its right side (facing east) on the inner porch ledge. It is to my right when facing the doorway.

The dead fish is a mooneye. (I have not seen a mooneye in real life since 1990.) Although I am not fully aware of this symbolism while still in my dream, there are four distinct levels of meaning. One, it is an artifact of water lowering waking symbolism (though there is no recall of water induction and no apparent WLWS in this particular dream, making it implied by habit without the direct discernment). Two, it means my glymphatic system’s functions are starting to lessen in nearing waking. Three, because it is a mooneye, and is dead, it is an association with nearing daybreak (waking transition; the sun symbolizing the conscious self while the moon symbolizes the dream self). Four, it is a symbol of my physical body being asleep, though its being on the right side is seemingly a subliminal warning that I may be on my right side in reality. (Though I do not recall having turned over during my sleep. I usually sleep on my left side for health reasons, as the stomach naturally hangs to the left and other systems operate better in this orientation.)

I am not sure what to say to them about the dead fish. I do not perceive it as unusual, but I hold no recall of how it came to be there. I mention to the three unknown people who stand just outside the doorway that “some are big enough to eat”, but they start talking about roe (fish eggs). Still, they do not seem that interested in the mooneye for such a source.

Meanwhile, I am closely looking at some Matchbox cars while standing near the center of the porch. Two of them are similar. I gaze at them with full intent. They are flatbed trucks (“flatbed” as being a dream state indicator as a play on being in bed). Each holds a small house. (The basic design is the same as one I had in real life as a boy, though it looks about twice as big, though my view in my dreams often magnifies what I am looking at.) I continue to stare at them, deliberately ignoring the three people just outside the doorway. One is mostly blue (that is, both the truck and the house) and one is mostly pale orange. (In reality, the truck was blue and the house was orange.)

I continue to gaze at the two trucks. I notice a detail of where the house’s window frames (in their vertical appearance and detail) and the vertical borders of the truck’s windows (looking at them from the side as they are facing right) are slightly closer to the front in one than in the other. (This relates to subliminal awareness of nearing my dream’s exit point, and waking symbolism is typically oriented to the right).

From here, I am suddenly aware that the three people are coming onto the porch. I teleport to the end of the porch and slam the door on them (indicative of the subliminal desire to remain asleep for a little longer). However, I notice that someone had left a set of keys on a table to the right of the door (even though there is no recall of the other people having been inside the porch). I open the door manually, apologizing. The female comes in and gets her keys and leaves again, the door remaining open as I wake.

---

This dream has the dynamics of the typical waking space scenario, common on a regular basis since early childhood. The other three characters were, in upward hierarchy order, the personified preconscious, the personified interconsciousness, and the emergent consciousness. In this case, the emergent consciousness symbol was an unrecognized (while in the dream state) form of Zsuzsanna. She is the only one (other than our children) allowed to have “keys” to other levels of my unconsciousness. This is typical doorway waking symbolism, a door representing either the dream’s exit point or in some cases, access to apex lucidity and extraordinarily vivid automatic control of the dream state (and “summoning” mode, whereby all dream characters fully serve the dreamer via conscious self will), which for whatever reason, many people apparently cannot do. It may relate to my advanced understanding of the dream state since early childhood (and never falling victim to the fallacy of “interpretation”), whereby the majority of people totally lack the knowledge of what a dream actually is. I should also include here that, the large Barolin Street house was actually moved, via trucks, to a new location after we moved in 2008. Thus, this feature is also a subliminal thread of real-life factors of the past - of which I did not realize while in the dream state, even though it was probably meant to be an interconsciousness clue that I was in the dream state.

---

Morning of December 12, 2017. Tuesday.



In this dream, there is the transition to water reinduction (water as symbolizing sleep), though my conscious self identity is virtually nonexistent. Even being in the Loomis Street house’s backyard, there is not even the association with my relatives who lived there for years. While in the backyard near the alley (where I have not been in real life since February 1994), there are a number of unfamiliar characters. There is something about going somewhere, another country perhaps, and we start our journey.

The Loomis and Gillette Street area transform into some sort of distorted wharf, which I believe is meant to be with the ocean on the left (even though Wisconsin is nowhere near the ocean in reality). All of the people we meet are dark-skinned and may be Sri Lankan (which I seem to recall being said as such in my dream). They are all males in their twenties, supposedly refugees. It is illegal for us to be there or walk over the wharf to wherever it is we are going. That will apparently not stop us though and our group walks over the long wharf. Still, the other males are very friendly even though they seem slightly confused that we are not like them. I start talking to them in Spanish, “Cuando salga el sol me despertaré”. (“When the sun rises I will wake” - note that I am not viably aware I am dreaming.) I repeat “cuando” several times, as a question. They only shrug and smile.

There is an area where a doorway is too narrow to go through. I do something to where we continue from near the right of it, though it does not make any sense. It seems as if I somehow moved the doorway itself by “sliding” it with my hand.

From here, I am riding in a van, on the front passenger side, on the right (implying America). The driver of this van is riding a motorcycle a car length ahead of the van (which makes no sense at all, but this is how it is experienced).

The port authorities are now following us. Because we had gone through the restricted area that held refugees, we are to be captured and shot, no matter where we decide to go or live. The man on the motorcycle is shot once and splits into several pieces, rolling over the road, the van I am in continuing to apparently drive itself. I do not feel very emotional.

After traveling a long distance, miles away from the Loomis Street house’s backyard, I find myself back on Loomis Street, in the Loomis Street house’s kitchen (likely due to mild hunger in sleep). Of course, this makes no sense either.

I am presumably the last one of my group left. I now have a very vague emergent awareness of relatives having lived on Loomis Street years ago, though no current conscious self identity. An unknown male comes into the kitchen from the south room to shoot me. I decide that this is RAS mediation (even though I am not lucid) and that he is the preconscious factor and thus I shoot him first and then soon wake. I will not tolerate being victimized in my own dream, even when there is no viable thread of current conscious self identity.

---

Morning of December 11, 2017. Monday.



Thinking about our house actually having a roof again after over a month of this nonsense (since the storm tore it off), naturally some dream content would have an association with it, that is, in cases where my current conscious self identity is extant in an incidentally non-lucid dream. Because the personified dream self has no concept of time or space, or any semblance of intelligence or viable memory in non-lucid dreams of most stages of unconsciousness in the sleeping cycle, it is not automatically expected as a factor though. Curiously though, there were dreams about the roof repair and our landlord involved in it a few times prior to the real-life event (the storm that tore our roof off), so that is the literal prescience at work again.

My foreman from years ago (Patrick S, who shot himself, and by which I had a prescient dream of his saying “goodbye” on the same day with no way of me knowing he would do this, as I had not seen him for months as it was) takes the role of our landlord without my dream self really noticing it.

I am sitting on a beam above our ceiling, the area far more expansive than in reality. I am reading a paperback book. Above me is a solid roof, so my dream is illogical in implying a new roof is being built below it. Instead, on a different beam several feet away, is Patrick. He is nailing a small piece of tin in a vertical position aligned to what is then a wooden walkway. I feel somewhat aggravated (though not enough to trigger RAS and the waking event), as this seems to have nothing to do with the actual roof over our house, at least not the main sections.

I somehow teleport to the area and he hands me a hammer and asks me to help him. One corner of the tin seems problematic, apparently with too many nail holes that have torn the tin, to be feasible to be nailed where it needs to be aligned. My dream distorts and then I am to get a ladder and go up to where I already am, which of course makes no sense. As I then attempt to climb the ladder to where I had already been moments before, the ladder is now actually a distorted composite of ladder, staircase, and bookcase (not the first time this specific feature has occurred in a dream). From here, I start to realize that the symbolism means I am dreaming and consequently (without holding back on RAS mediation or mode) soon wake.

---

Although staircases symbolize the return to waking consciousness (when going up; as going down typically vivifies a dream, sometimes triggering apex lucidity, at least in my case, where I then have full conscious self control of the dream state), ladders do as well, though staircases are more common as such due to being far more of a familiar factor in waking life (which sounds strange I suppose, as dreams are otherwise so inherently surreal, often having little or no relevance to real life). The composite synthesis of the bookshelf factor (note I was reading prior to my teleportation to Patrick’s location) is parallel symbolism that validates the meaning of the staircase symbolism. That is, both represent the emergent consciousness stage of RAS mediation. This is because only the whole conscious self has thinking skills and basic language skills with such as books.

---

Morning of December 10, 2017. Sunday.



Dream Series: The Experience of Prescience, the Inexplicable Dream State Phenomenon. Part 8

---

I find myself in an unknown setting, apparently participating in some sort of treasure hunt, though relating to the backstory, we are already in the area where the treasure is. Curiously, my mother-in-law is present without any association with conflict. Zsuzsanna and our children are also present as well as at least one unknown male.

There is some sort of movie, though more like a slideshow, shown near one of the areas where treasure is stored. It is apparently of Vasco da Gama, though there are several other explorers and natives in very unusual outfits, each unique. One native has some sort of fancy oval and horizontally-striped shield over the front of his body, yet the imagery is rather sketchy and surreal.

Over time, I marvel at the beauty of the various stones we find. They are divided into particular kinds, piled into kitchen cabinets, both at floor level and three-tiers from the ceiling. I do not yet see this as odd even though it is implied to be some sort of cave that has not been known of or explored since the 1500s.

The cabinets are along two walls that meet. I find a group of blue and white stones that are presumably called “ice”. I find a bag on a shelf above these stones that reads “ice”. I am somewhat puzzled by the name, though only with a vague recall of ice being frozen water.

At this point, I finally start to realize the error of my dream’s implications. I tell the others that this place could not have existed in the 1500s as the cabinets all look new and the design is modern. I find an unknown plastic object in the cabinet where the transparent bag that says “ice” on it is found. I say, “This could not be from the 1500s”. It is circular, possibly a piece of a sieve. I then say, “These are like kitchen cabinets. They could not have been made that long ago.”

It seems more like the large kitchen of an unfamiliar house.

---

I do not really see the point, but this dream turned out to be precisely precognitive as many dreams are relating to a specific thread with too much visual detail to be coincidence. Zsuzsanna’s sister had brought a bag of ice around today, identical to that of my dream (of a kind I had never seen before otherwise), and with no way of either of us expecting this. In fact, the very idea of this would have been otherwise absurd, especially as our freezer is nearly too full to even hold it. Some precognition is more so because of telepathy (for lack of a better word), but I have wondered since childhood about the specific nature and patterns that are more likely to be “sent”. Still, it is the most unusual and unlikely events that have more of a precognitive presence in my dreams.

---

Morning December 7, 2017. Thursday.



With water induction, I find myself walking over a walkway made up of boards of various lengths. It is also implied to be a road (or low-set bridge) for cars (though only one passes from the opposite direction at times to where I move out of the way a short distance), over water (either the ocean or a large lake), though I remain unsure of the location. Walking with me to my immediate left is an unknown male in his late twenties. He reminds me of an otherwise younger John Leguizamo (though I seem to be much younger as well).

“Be careful, it’s a pigeon,” he tells me. A mostly black pigeon walks across the walkway, perpendicular to us, and from my left to my right. John’s spoken statement causes me to become a bit more aware, but I do not understand the relevance.

Looking at him, his face seems to remain frozen, with an annoying grin. “Is it now?” I say, but he does not respond.

I am trying to grasp the situation when I realize that it has something to do with “not letting a pigeon cross your path”, though this is otherwise distorted from the nonsensical “black cat” superstition.

Looking at him again, his face is in a different annoying expression, also somewhat like a grin.

I decide to “not let the pigeon cross my path” by turning right and following the pigeon, as it had apparently stopped and is walking slowly. Still, this will lead me off the side of the walkway if I continue. Instead, I find myself walking on my bed. There is a strange falling sensation as if my body was not fully perceived. I am concerned that I fell atop Zsuzsanna, but this is only a false awakening.

---

Decoding template follows:

• Dream type and explanation: This dream uses “return flight waking symbolism”, which is created when the physicality of the conscious self identity is ambiguously perceived prior to the RAS (reticular activating system) neural gating that regulates the sleep-wake transition. Consequently, the dream self identity subliminally anticipates falling, rising, sustained flight, or other illusory movement based on the misperception of the vestibular system’s equilibrium dynamics.
• Dream state induction type: Water (most common, at least once per sleeping period).
• Dream state indicators: The bed (in the false awakening).
• Liminal space symbol: The walkway over the water and the false awakening setting.
• Preconscious factor: John Leguizamo.
• Liminal space cessation trigger: Contemplating illusory nonsense while in the dream state itself (yet not realizing it).
• Flight symbol to dream exit point (symbolic waking transition): The pigeon as “returning” me to my bed, symbolized in my dream by the false awakening. (Typically, the preconscious points out this dream feature as such, which here, I become annoyed at, probably out of liminal dream state awareness in not wanting to wake yet.)
• Liminal dream control seems to be a partial element, evidenced by my “freezing” (and sustaining) of the preconscious and implementing my own focus of choice, even though it otherwise manifests my false awakening into the offset dream.
• “And they try to pigeon hole in you in hollywouldnt but dont u let them!” - John Leguizamo.

---

Morning December 7, 2017. Thursday.



I am seemingly at our present address, though it is distorted. There are two main parts to my dream.

One part involves Jim (August 1, 1947-June 10, 2008, half-brother on my mother’s side). He is sitting next to me on a bench, to my left. A doctor is also present. My dream self is unaware that he had died. However, the doctor is talking about Jim’s overweight physicality. (This was more relevant to the 1980s, before he lost a lot of weight.) There seem to be other people present at times. There is some sort of surreal concept relating to individual internal body parts relating to being fat and which one is affected first, with some sort of odd association with stencils. Jim does not speak but the doctor does, touching Jim’s shoulders and arms at times.

This eventually shifts into a different dream scenario. It relates to also being at our present address. However, there is apparently a train, designed like a subway train, which seemingly goes north to south near where our bed is in reality. I stand in the semidarkness looking at this setup, though I do not consider it strange or intrusive.

Two men who work for this subway system, formally dressed, though reminding me also of movie ushers based on their uniforms, are performing an unusual task while moving out from and back into the different train cars. They are working from north to south, putting some sort of small metal hanging objects over the door handles. Some of the hanging objects are different but some resemble a smaller detached handle of some kind, though each reminds me vaguely of a broken handcuff (though not seen as such by my dream self). However, I realize that they relate to some sort of signifying of a particular subway car’s status, possibly relating to how many passengers are allowed in the next journey or which cars can be used in what way.

Next, there is a pointless and contradictory conversation where I tell them that one of the handles does not need the marker as such (as there is already one on the adjacent handle of the same set of doors), even though I am not certain of the purpose of their job. They say that it does not matter how many of the objects are used but then soon contradict themselves by implying that there is only a limited number of these objects and that all must go where they should. I do not say anything or even fully notice this contradiction for a few seconds, then I wake in realization that their comments made no sense.

Decoding template follows:

---

• Dream type and explanation: Doorway waking symbolism; with emergent consciousness triggered by illogical contradiction (liminal space cessation trigger), as intelligence is not typically extant in the dream state.
• RAS symbol to dream exit point: Our sleeping area was replaced by a train, symbolizing the return to waking life and oriented north to south as how we rise from bed in reality (that is, our feet are oriented south).
• Preconscious factor: The subway workers as ambiguously associated with movie ushers (as a movie theater symbolizes detachment from the real world; that is, symbolizes the dream state itself).
• Additionally, the otherwise unknown act seems associated with setting up rope barriers (as in a movie theater) yet without the rope, and yet also implying “release” from the dream state (broken handcuffs on door handles, a door representing a dream’s exit point).
• The first part of my dream relates to a desire to remain healthy, though I am not obese (as Jim was throughout the 1980s).

---

Morning of December 5, 2017. Tuesday.



I become aware of being in a scenario where a small nuclear missile is being carried on a vehicle that is apparently going west (based on my subliminal impression of how I am oriented while sleeping in our bed). I am somehow in charge of the situation and of the missile. It is only about five feet long. There are a few other (unknown) people with me.

We approach a wide river that runs north to south. At this point, I start to become wary about being near a nuclear missile. My awareness and contemplation of the scenario is not realistic. I decide to throw the missile into a river, where there are additional unknown people near, and I know it may eventually go off, but I consider that I will have time to outrun it.

Despite the size of the missile, I somehow fling it with one hand to the opposite side of the river. There is no explosion, but I expect one to come eventually. I and the others start running the opposite direction (east). I am aware of the minutes counting down.

Although we are running across an outdoor landscape, there are identical low-set tables that we reach every twenty seconds or so. I suddenly have an infinite supply of decks of playing cards, whereby I then toss several cards to each side of me where there are always about three or four random unfamiliar males present to grab the cards. This has something to do with survival, as I am aware that some of the cards can be traded for food. This event repeats a number of times. Just prior to waking, I turn to see the mushroom cloud emerging from the horizon and realize that I am now safe and that about three minutes and twenty-seven seconds had passed from the time it landed in the river.

---

This dream is a typical attempt at subliminal reinduction. The missile can otherwise be viewed as a flight symbol (RAS and inner ear dynamics relating to the waking prompt), though I throw it into the river as water symbolizes sleep (and potential dream state deepening and sustaining in this case; symbolism I have experienced on a day to day basis and understood for over fifty years).

The playing card scenario is a bit odd, though it, along with the missile, likely relates to continuously hearing about the North Korea threat, almost as if it was like some sort of deranged poker game between two so-called leaders while the rest of the world looks on in passive bewilderment.

---

Morning of December 4, 2017. Monday.



I am in bed in our present home, though as usual, the appearance is different. Our bed is oriented as it was prior to the devastating storm that tore our roof off.

Over time, I become aware that rain has possibly been coming through the ceiling (as it had in real life before the tarpaulins were placed over our house). (Note that it was raining in reality at the time of my dream, which I had become aware of through partial awakenings.)

I notice that the ceiling has unusual downward bulges, especially in one area where it almost resembles the shape of a complex vase. The ceiling is not of narrow boards (of their original wood appearance) as it is in reality, but is lower and constructed of white ceiling tiles. I get up and tell Zsuzsanna to leave the area near our bed, as the ceiling might collapse.

Between the dining room (which we use as our bedroom) and kitchen, a part of the wall (which does not exist in reality) and ceiling falls. It is more like an unusual curtain rod with some sort of odd elongated plumb-bob-like features hanging from across it. (This probably relates to an association with vertical evenness.) An identical feature on the other side also partly comes down. While looking towards our bed area, I also see a number of thin boards sticking randomly out from the left edge of the wall at various angles, which was apparently part of the inside of the wall.

I am then in the room of our two youngest sons. Eventually, one of our daughters, a fictional character however, as in my dream there is a false memory of having at least five daughters around nine years old, comes in and talks to Zsuzsanna (with the girl standing near the south wall of the room and facing Zsuzsanna). She is Hispanic with darker skin. She seems worried. When I look at her, I notice something on her neck, the front lower area. I first worry that ceiling debris had gotten into her neck, possibly going through her neck from behind. Puzzling over this, I also worry for a short time that it is an actual bone slightly protruding from above her skin. Eventually, I decide that it is just a large droplet of water below her neck and I gaze directly at it for a few minutes, noticing a slight quivering effect. (This is liminal dream control in trying to reinduce my dream with water induction, especially as it appears on the neck of the precursory form of the personified preconscious, though it also relates to transferred associations with Zsuzsanna’s throat and the soothing of it, as she had been coughing in real life prior to my dream.) No longer worried about her status, I go back into our kitchen. Still, looking back, I notice that the preconscious form (as our fictional daughter) is looking up, blinking quickly, and moving her eyes side to side (symbolizing the REM factor of the waking transition). I ignore the RAS manifestation (which also foreshadows my hypnopompic illusion that comes after this dream ends) and as a result, my dream lasts a minute or two longer.

While standing near the center of our kitchen again, I notice that the walls below the windows have large jagged holes directly leading to our backyard (representing the emergent consciousness factor with subliminal realization of being unconscious yet still being able to look deeper into my mind), the perimeter of these holes made up of splinters of wood. However, this area of our kitchen is rendered incorrectly. It is more like the inside of the residential turret of the northeast room I used to sleep in (on the second floor) in the King Street mansion or the first-floor bay window area on the south end (dining room) of the Loomis Street house. I consider that there is too much damage for our house to remain livable; as I also consider someone could easily crawl through a hole into our house if entering our backyard through our gate.

After a short time, I see that bed sheets are now covering the holes and that they might also be smaller than I first thought. As I am thinking about this, I wake, realizing I am focused on the curtain that divides our bed from the kitchen area and listening to the rain and that I had been partly creating my otherwise non-lucid dream with vague threads of my conscious self’s will.

As I am not fully awake, I am then looking up at our real ceiling. I see a hypnopompic illusion of large raindrops hanging everywhere across our ceiling. I blink my eyes a few times, but the illusion remains for a minute or two. (There is actually nothing present to create the illusion of water droplets. It is just an atypically sustained hypnopompic illusion with concern about when it did have water droplets present, though never as dense as in my illusion.)

---

Morning of December 3, 2017. Sunday.

Dream #: 18,612-04. Reading time: 2 min 15 sec.



We live in Wavell Heights in Brisbane (where we have not lived in real life for years) in a different version of the Stadcor Street house. Zsuzsanna’s older sister Kathy is visiting. (We have not seen her much in the time I have lived in Australia. She appears as when I first saw her in 1994.) She makes fun of me by mimicking and exaggerating my visage. (This was a subliminal tie from a recent random thought of my deliberately silly facial expression from a post on my music site.)

I become annoyed by her antics. I calmly state my IQ without anger and remark she does not know what she is talking about or doing. I inform her intelligence and appearance are unrelated. I say I can create or do anything. Suddenly, we are outside, yet we are also still in the house. On the front lawn is a bucket full of water. I wave my hand and focus, and its surface separates, rises, and parts (like Moses parting the Red Sea). “Oh, you have got to be kidding me,” she says with a baffled and slightly worried tone.

From here, we are still in the lounge room of the house, but the south wall is missing. I walk through the area while continuing to focus and wave my left hand. An ocean is south of us, yet it also seems to be part of a wide canal. I move my hand towards the direction I want the waves to roll. They grow larger and larger, though I allow the ocean’s surface to become still at times. The intensity and vividness are incredible, and how it is responsive to my thoughts and intent is intriguing and satisfying. I decide to let it become still as some of the water is spraying into our house through the open room. Zsuzsanna and Kathy stand behind me, watching.

Suddenly, I falsely recall (with accommodating dream content) our two youngest children are down near one area playing. I walk around to look down into the big canal, and there is a beach inside the area closest to our house. It is mostly gray boulders. Our youngest son and youngest daughter are lying on their backs over the wet rocks, asleep, and dripping water. I am worried about their status. I go and pick them up. They are so small they fit in my hand, and I carry them into the house and place them on our couch. They have not drowned and seem to be okay, stirring slightly, still asleep.

---

Dreams are concurrent processes and not at all what popular culture thinks or propagates. It is crucial to understand Kathy is the preconscious simulacrum in this dream. Its purpose is to augment discernment and cause me to emerge into wakefulness, often by way of imposition as here. However, in this case, I instinctually hold the state and summon water induction to sustain and vivify my dream. It stems from the status of being in the dream state and is unrelated to the whole conscious self of waking life. Our sleeping children dripping with water validates this causal factor in a straightforward, familiar way.

Throughout my life, I have instinctually modulated my dreams to sustain and vivify them by way of creating or manipulating water, though, at the beginning of every sleep cycle, it is usually already present and accommodating.

---

Morning of December 3, 2017. Sunday.



This is a set of two dreams of the same sleeping period that need to be approached and studied as a pair, yet where my dream self in the second dream recalls and designates the first as a dream while supposedly being in a real scenario. My first dream is of my current conscious self identity while the second dream is not, which is very strange unless one fully realizes that the personified subconscious (dream self) has no intelligence or viable memory or awareness of time or space. There were other dreams that occurred between these two without any in-dream recall of either of the other two.

In my first dream, it seems to be late at night. I am in the front room (where my computer is set up in real life), though I am sitting beyond the right end of the desk where I have never sat in reality. My wife Zsuzsanna is also in the room (facing east towards our oldest daughter’s door), closer to the door to our porch. Despite the late time, our youngest son seems to be present as well.

In a short time, our oldest daughter enters the room through her room’s door. She says there is someone (an intruder) in our house who is following her. In the semidarkness, to my left, I vaguely discern a tall male figure also coming through her doorway. I consider that I must act to prevent him from doing any harm (though I do not know his intentions and he does not speak). I lift up my left leg, swinging it to the left as he continues into the room, which causes him to trip over it. This is a very strange event, because I perceive my leg as being almost as long as the width of the room (though my dream self perceives this as normal). Additionally, my sense of touch and momentum greatly increases as I feel the unfamiliar male trip over my elongated leg to fall to the floor. I soon awake with a distorted but vivid awareness of my physical body, with a soft hypnopompic kick.

In my second dream, I am in the back seat of a car, possibly also late at night. I am sitting next to the right window. My father (April 26, 1901-February 14, 1979) is to my immediate left and my mother (July 14, 1916-October 2, 2002) is to his immediate left. They appear as they did in the late 1970s. No one else is in the car. I have no recall that they had died and I seem to be about thirty or younger (though I am fifty-six in reality). I am not sure whose car it is. There is a lot of activity to my right. Across the street is a large two-storey house on the corner. The car is facing the intersection that the house is near, though is across the street from the house. I have a false memory that one of my older half-sisters on my father’s side lives there and that my father’s half-brother (Marvin P) is there with my half-brothers (on my father’s side) as well. (Marvin died in July 1965.) There are about a dozen people in the yard and it seems they are visiting my half-sister.

I talk about my first dream to my father and he nods, saying, “I have those dreams, too”. He goes on to talk about stopping intruders (in his dreams) with his left arm as they come through the doorway and making them fall down. My mother nods and indicates that she has also always had such dreams on a regular basis. My parents seem to have a genuine respect for my interest in dreams.

My parents get out of the car (from the left side) and go around the front of the car to cross the street to visit my father’s relatives. My father seems to want me to go but I decide to stay in the car. I soon wake.

---

My first dream is simply a preconscious event with increased RAS dynamics. This means that my dream was rendered solely to create a spontaneous muscle reaction for biological purposes, at least partly to cause partial waking to change my sleeping position. Most of my current conscious self identity is intact here and my physical nature is greatly enhanced in the waking transition. Still, this dream has a real-life source based on an event of years ago when it was our oldest daughter who alerted me to someone “trying to break in”, though that was not actually the case, only that a large rock was thrown at our southwest window.

In my second dream, I am passive and in the back seat of a car, which means I am passive to the preconscious, which is not directly rendered let alone with any conflict. I am on the right, thus I am passively within waking orientation (and in fact, I subliminally choose to wake rather than remain within my dream, which could also relate to a need to change my sleeping position), which explains the passive nature of my dream. Talking with my deceased parents (unremembered as being deceased by my ephemeral dream self) about how they have the same recurring dream factors, while in a non-lucid dream, is intriguing, though without any real relevance. The dynamics of this dream relate to events from when I was only three years old despite the mix of erroneous ages of my parents and me.

---

This pair of dreams is just a tiny example of how erroneous and skewed memory is in the dream state to the point of being an unexplainable enigma. In my first dream, I am of my present life in a well-rendered realistic sense. In my second dream, even in treating the first dream as a fully recalled non-lucid dream scenario, especially without realizing I am dreaming in the second, I inexplicably have no recall of my present life in the second dream. (My parents being present do not even trigger any sense of reflecting on my personal status). Yet, how could this really be the case if my first dream was fully of my present life and recalled in my second dream? It is a paradox. Since childhood, I have been trying to work out how such common dream state paradoxes are possible. It simply cannot be resolved in conscious afterthought.

---

Morning of December 2, 2017. Saturday.



It seems to be afternoon. I am in an unfamiliar restaurant with my mother (July 14, 1916-October 2, 2002) and Marilyn (older half-sister on my mother’s side, April 25, 1942-February 13, 2014). They are facing each other from each side of the booth and closest to the window. I am on Marilyn’s right. I have no memory of their deceased status and no viable link to my current conscious self identity. My dream self seems to be about twenty-five years old (though I am fifty-six in reality). I could assume the location as La Crosse (America), though there is no direct focus or thought about where we are. There is no backstory. (The restaurant scenario indicates mild hunger during sleep.)

My mother wants me to buy a Dutch sandwich for her from the restaurant directly across the street (perceived as west of where we are, which subliminally aligns to the street as west of where I am in bed in reality). Although I already have some money, she gives me about a dollar and fifty cents in small change, which is apparently what one costs. (My mother never said “Dutch sandwich” in real life as far as I know, and I never bought a sandwich for her in real life. Apparently, a Dutch Sandwich is the term for a tax avoidance strategy that some multinational corporations use to lower their corporate tax liability. I have no familiarity with this term.)

I leave the restaurant, but instead of crossing the street, I continue north in an odd state of faux lucidity (with thoughts of finding my wife Zsuzsanna, without remembering who she is, for a lovemaking session). (Faux lucidity is when I might do something I would do in a lucid dream but without being aware that it is a dream. It is different from liminal dream control, apex lucidity, and normal lucidity.)

My dream self falls back into the current scenario of my dream and I decide to buy the sandwich. I cross over to the west side of the street with the intent to walk a block and come back around easterly after walking south for about a block. As I walk along the west side of the street rather than the sidewalk, an unknown Hispanic male walks near the middle of the street to my left. He is carrying an unrealistically long telescope in a case, similar to a tightrope walker using a pole for balance. It seems nearly three-fourths as wide as the street. (There are a few other unfamiliar people walking along to my left.) He accidentally tips it up on the right and bumps the back of my head without realizing it. I do not alert him to this and he walks on ahead.

I enter the other restaurant. I see a large alcove near the entrance (to my right as I walk in). An unknown female is there. She is sitting near a low-set counter (north). It has about nine sandwiches for sale, sparsely arranged. I stand on her left. (Zsuzsanna is sleeping in this orientation in reality, that is, to my right.) I ask if there is a Dutch sandwich here (directed at the cashier behind me on the other side of the room, not this customer). This customer tells me that she has bought and is eating the last one. On the opposite side of the room are two more unknown females who work there and of whom are behind a high-set counter near the cash register. I absentmindedly walk out of the restaurant with the bottom half of one of the other sandwiches without paying for it. Mayonnaise is on it as well as minimal lettuce. I soon realize what I am doing, walk back in, and give it back to the female closest to the cash register. The purchase area is similar to the Coney Island Restaurant in La Crosse I had frequented years ago (and of the same directional orientation), but my dream self does not note this.

She tells me that she will make two Dutch sandwiches that I can buy and starts to make them in an area near shelves (about four tiers) opposite the service counter. The other female (more to my right as I face south) asks me about “feather sticks” and if people generally consider them as “lighter”. I assume she is talking about feather dusters, so I nod in agreement. However, she talks about cooking on a gas stove, which puzzles me. She had apparently said “feather steaks” and was asking whether they are “lighter” when fried using a gas stove rather than (presumably) an electric stove. (“Feather steak” could be considered as a flight symbol, which means that the preconscious is inducing dream state waking symbolism, especially as this is a checkout scenario which symbolizes emergent consciousness activation and my dream’s implied precursory exit point, though my dream self remains unaware of this, likely involving RAS, as it is also similar to “feathered serpent” and with “steak” rhyming with “snake”. A snake is the main biological waking prompt via RAS depending on the dream type and depth of sleep. The reference to “lighter” additionally relates to waking symbolism, hovering, and RAS-related inner ear dynamics that typically biologically manifest the falling sensation upon waking.)

The other female has my sandwiches ready. They are not in any sort of bag and are atop each other (two-tiered construct, symbolizing conscious self identity over fictional dream self identity, which I am vaguely aware of but without a viable trigger). I get out my money to pay for them and see that I am holding several coins (in my left hand) that look more like small disks of sliced salami. I go to give her what I assume to be a dollar coin to start with, but it is apparently only twenty-five cents (as it is about the size of an American quarter). I tell her that I am uncertain of the value of the “coins” because it is not clearly noted on them. (At this point, I have a vague recall of Australian one and two-dollar coins while still puzzling over the variously-sized miniature salami slices as “coins”, though this is not enough to trigger any thread of emergent consciousness despite coins and cash registers at a checkout being a known and very familiar dream state indicator and precursory end marker since childhood.) I decide to get out my wallet and pay with an American five-dollar note. The change I get seems like normal coins, which I put in my right pocket with the “salami coins”. (Getting out my wallet at the checkout is analogous to trying to link to my conscious self identity via my fictional dream self near my dream’s exit point, as an ID is kept in a wallet in real life.)

As I turn to my left to leave (atypical waking orientation, though Zsuzsanna now sleeps on my right for the first time in years), I notice I am not wearing shoes. I am not sure how or when this happened. I soon find and put on my left shoe, which is near the counter under the attached stools. I accidentally put a girl’s shoe, black with a buckle, on my right foot. (This is a childhood dream association when Brenda was a prescient stand-in for Zsuzsanna.) I realize this, yet accidentally put on a different pair of wrong men’s shoes after taking off my correct left one. (The different sizes of the shoes infer that my feet are actually changing somewhat in size, but my dream self does not notice this. This is similar to teeth falling out, which has no meaning but validates the dream self’s body as being fictional and in a state of cessation and with the inability to speak coherently while unconscious.) Finally, I am satisfied at wearing the right shoes and walk out the door and wake. Thus, the final marker here classifies the ending as doorway waking symbolism, which is common, where a doorway symbolizes the exit point of the dream state. Not wearing shoes is a typical dream state indicator as I do not wear shoes in bed. There are apparent shared dream state energies (or at least subliminal acknowledgment of the dream state), as the girl’s right shoe likely relates to my wife Zsuzsanna being asleep at the time to my right.

The man with the long telescope is a second-level dream state indicator. It relates to seeing outside the dream state (and is a subliminal form of the emergent consciousness as a precursor to either waking or becoming lucid), but in this case, there is no trigger despite the exaggerated length and even bumping the back of my head. (For example, in an experimental lucid dream from the 1980s, RAS activated by each of my eyes quickly extending out diagonally upwards, each becoming a telescope, symbolizing my connection to discernible consciousness outside of my fictional dream body). The vague association with a tightroper’s balancing pole is symbolic of RAS and mediating between dream state awareness and whole consciousness as related to inner ear dynamics and “not falling” (not waking with the biological falling sensation or hypnopompic kick caused by the shift from unconsciousness to consciousness, the reverse of becoming dizzy and passing out when awake).

---

Morning of November 30, 2017. Thursday.



My dream occurs in two main parts. It has the usual distortions and absence of viable conscious self identity. The only conscious self threads relate to knowing I am married to Zsuzsanna. The rest of my dream self identity ambiguously perceives itself as a teenager, and my parents are still alive.

In the first part of my dream, I am in the kitchen of our present address (erroneously perceived as of Cubitis, where I have not lived since 1978). The layout of the house is different. Zsuzsanna is present and we are rearranging everything (which we had been doing a lot in real life lately after the storm tore the roof from our house, though that memory is not extant in my dream). There are two special pictures that present a three-dimensional impression. One is very large and displays a two-storey house. The other is similar to the pattern of our present bedroom curtain but features only one cheetah.

I marvel at the large image of the house and its three-dimensionality. (It faces north when aligned to our present home’s layout.) As I change my position in the room and move my head, there is vivid imagery that looks as if the Venetian blinds in the house are closing and opening, depending on where I stand, though this relates to the angle I am viewing the house from, not the blinds actually moving. At least one bright light is on inside the second floor of the residence where this intriguing Venetian blinds effect is seen, which involves at least three windows. There is a sense of both pleasure and awe. (The windows are about five inches high.) The joy I feel is probably based on liminal realization of modulating my dream with threads of my conscious self, yet my dream self not actively comprehending this factor.

I am then looking at the image of a cheetah (about eight inches in length to start with). I am able to manipulate the image by moving parts of it with my fingers, to make it smaller or larger or change the proportions. It does not become distorted no matter how I move different points of the image. Its three-dimensionality is similar to one of those toddler’s board books with the additional features implied to be fur or other textures (such as “Touch and Feel Wild Animals”). The clusters of fur on the cheetah image growing and shrinking depending on how I alter the image with my fingers fascinates me.

Later, I notice my father standing by the doorway of our shed (our present shed, not the one in Cubitis). He is dressed in an unusual colorful outfit and has a large white beard. I go out and see that he is trying to move several large parts of machinery, one that looks like a small motor. Not being lucid, I still use a type of telekinesis. I am aware that the combined weight of the objects is quite heavy, yet I touch one (the smallest object) and all the other objects connect to it as if magnetic. I effortlessly lift everything and my father seems grateful. I realize that this means I am a witch. I place them out in the backyard through a fictional doorway on the east end of our shed.

From here, there is an incorporeal and unseen male character that is somehow only partially present. There is brief talk with him about a fairy being a great wizard. My father walks to the west end of our shed (where the main door pulls up in reality). It is open to the street. There are at least two black horses facing north that I lightly pet. My father expresses no distrust or wariness of me being a witch.

---

A shed or warehouse represents liminal space during the waking transition in a specific part of the sleeping period and is a factor of memory recall and storage. Horses as this dream’s end marker represent my “return” to my physical body in waking. The health or condition of a horse often relates to the health of one’s physical body or recent mental states (or that of someone known). (For example, after a classmate died, I had a terrifying dream of a horse falling down and suffocating in front of me, after it came through the doorway of our homeroom classroom, both a result of his death, and the unsteady state of my emotions at the time.)

In one of my dreams of yesterday, I was a guardian angel “from the future”, helping a fictional character rendered as the actor Jonathan LaPaglia to fulfill his supposed destiny with his future wife. Then, in this one, I am a powerful witch helping my father. I manipulate imagery (though that was implied to be the nature of whatever technology was present) and effortlessly lift heavy objects by mental will (and not only do I lift them, they stick together magnetically in a very long cluster nearly as wide as the shed). There seems to be no difference between a powerful witch and an angel in some cases, at least from my dream self’s viewpoint. (My wife Zsuzsanna has appeared as both an angel and a witch in my dreams, including prescient dreams from before we met.)

The Venetian blinds represent the virtual division between the dream self identity and the conscious self identity. The fact that I am not surprised by my telekinetic abilities validates liminal dream state awareness and liminal dream control (that is, with no realization it is a dream, yet having endless powers to create and control my dream state experiences). I certainly would not have this expectation or act as such when conscious.

---

Morning of November 29, 2017. Wednesday.

Dream #: 18,608-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



In the first part of a two-part dream, I indulge in realistic exercises, including jumping jacks. Unknown people are present but not in the room where I exercise. I wave my arms about and perform boxing motions. I feel strong and energized. I do not become tired despite the intensity of my movements. There is an extraordinary degree of imaginary physicality and momentum. I will compete in the Olympics in a few days. I say I will participate in the javelin throw. (It seems a participant can choose what they want to do.) I consider it might not be a part of the Olympics.

I become a time-traveling angel in the backyard of the Loomis Street house. My dream self has no recall of my relatives ever living here. The actor, Jonathan LaPaglia, from “Seven Days” (the television series about time travel) lives here. My dream self perceives him as an ordinary person, with no recall of either his real identity or any of his roles.

A scenario involves his neighbors offering him to put his extra junk across the alley where they put theirs. Both piles include damaged plastic toys (the kind we recently discarded in real life). Curiously, our real-life neighbor to the south, on the other side of our fence, is living just north of the Loomis Street house. It is intriguing how he is one of the only factors of waking-life recall and how he is here in an American setting I have not seen since February 1994.

I was reading a paperback book about Jonathan and Callie, whom he had been in a relationship with for years but had never married or lived with her. I read he will miss out on having a life with her. He eventually accepts I am from the future but finds the situation amusing. (Callie Torres from “Grey’s Anatomy" is an association. Sara Ramirez, the actress who plays her, was born August 31, like Jonathan.)

To change his destiny, he needs to go to a public area where she is with a bodybuilder. He misses his opportunity, but he can still go to her residence. We walk westerly through a version of Sill Street and near Kane Street to a strange house with two adjacent apartments but remain in the main entrance. We never see her.

An unfamiliar couple (though not tenants, as another unknown woman lives in the left apartment while Callie lives on the right), ask me who I am. “I’m a person,” I say, so as not to reveal I am an angel.

They pull me to the ground without violence and seem happy as if they think I will grant them wishes as a result. I teleport, and they drop to the ground. I stand on an elevated area, noting their surprised reaction with amusement.

---

Jonathan LaPaglia reminds me of our landlord, who said we could use the bins at his nearby unrented property for additional items that were destroyed in the storm that tore our roof off.

---

Afternoon of November 25, 2017. Saturday.



My beautiful wife Zsuzsanna and our children and I are living in a trailer in a trailer park in an unknown location. It is mostly in a field of low grass and not many land features, not even a discernible city in any direction, though there does seem to be a road in the distance. Thus, the only extant conscious self threads are of my present marriage status and nothing else, not even a focus on what country I am in, yet with my dream self (personified subconscious) ridiculously accepting the setting as legitimate (even though our large family could certainly not fit in a trailer).

After some brief generic activities with my family, I step outside the trailer and notice a Belize guerrilla grinning at me and holding a rifle diagonally across his chest. He is standing about ten feet away from the trailer’s entrance.

While all the other members of my family are still in the trailer, I lift my hands into the air while I am standing just outside the doorway, indicating my submission but only mild surprise.

However, the guerrilla, an unfamiliar male of about thirty, points down at an area of ground with his rifle. I notice no less than twenty dead kraits in a cluster, the outer perimeter of the cluster being less dense with krait bodies in various curvy positions.

Apparently, he has done us a big favor in having killed the surprising number of snakes, now strewn about lifeless on the ground near an isolated cluster of rocks to his left (my right). Lucidity comes in at only the last second prior to waking and I immediately recognize this common component and its core meaning.

---

In approaching this dream with truth and understanding over superstition and the fallacy of “interpretation”, it is seen to be very basic. Some very basic knowledge about dreams is required; one, that this is an isolated dream during an afternoon nap, of which has entirely different symbolism than dreams of other time periods or during longer sleeping periods (due to the nature of circadian rhythms having the strongest influence over the dream state); two, that it was during a very light sleep with minimal REM; three, that this dream type is basically of waking symbolism only, with no relationship to real life.

The personified preconscious (the Belize guerrilla - based on an unconscious confusion of Punta Gorda, Belize with my birthplace of Punta Gorda, Florida), typically linked to the reticular activating system (RAS) actually subdued it rather than augmented its dynamics. This is because RAS symbolism is only needed in extended sleep. My brief thread of lucidity is all it took to transmute the preconscious into the emergent consciousness. When one is ready to wake (especially during a lighter and shorter sleep), there is no need for aggressive preconscious mediation.

A snake is the very epitome of RAS due to its “primal fear” status in the majority and bound to be the most inherent waking alert in many imaginary dream environments, yet many people persist in pointlessly bumbling along with imaginary “interpretations”. Being the oldest waking mechanism (other than the falling sensation linked to inner ear dynamics based on the shift in unconsciousness to consciousness), it is apparently even the origin of the Christian myth with the serpent (RAS) in the Tree of Knowledge (human brain in unconsciousness).

---

Morning of November 25, 2017. Saturday.



In my dream, I am with my wife Zsuzsanna and our children as we presently appear. The setting is unrelated to real life, though my dream self lacks the memory and awareness of our real living space as is often the case (depending on the depth and extent of sleep). It may be sections of streets and buildings modeled after ones in La Crosse (America), Brisbane (Australia), or both.

Over time, I become aware of the typical “something wrong with the sun” scenario. There are streams of plasma reaching Earth. At one point, far above the horizon and over the unknown city, I notice streams of plasma moving outward from a central point. There are a few resets of this dream. There is a scene where the sun explodes like a small fireball in the sky, but later events where the sun is still present.

Eventually, the end of the world is assumed, though I am not that fearful of what is to come. Many people run around screaming as pieces of the sun slam into skyscrapers but there are unusual distortions in later events.

For example, a blob of plasma from the sky heads toward the middle of the street. Instead of an explosion, the blob slows, stopping a few feet above the street, and transforms into a giant transparent pale orange puppy (about ten feet high) that then walks slowly about on the street.

After a time, I start to realize that, despite all the streams of plasma hitting the city, there does not appear to be much destruction. One crashes fairly close to me and I am unimpressed and consider that it is not real (though not with viable lucidity).

There is another change without a cohesive transition. Members of my family and I, including Zsuzsanna and at least our two youngest children, are now riding in a car with an unknown dark-haired male driver of about forty. Streams of fire and plasma hit buildings on opposite ends of the street we travel through. However, it is learned that the falling plasma is created by some sort of machine on Earth and is only holographic, with no physical repercussions. This also explains why there appear to be no destroyed buildings at this point, though the event is still continuing.

---

This end of the world dream is somewhat atypical in being revealed to not be a celestial event as in many other such dreams. However, the majority of my common end of the world dreams since early childhood often present “something wrong with the sun”, rather than for example, “something wrong with the moon”. There is a logical reason for this…

As a dream occurs while unconscious and typically not during the main part of the day (other than during an afternoon or early evening nap), a dream, based on circadian rhythms factors, will symbolize the nature of the conscious self identity as the sun, because the sun is associated with wakefulness and the moon associated more with sleeping and dreaming. As one is asleep and dreaming, “something wrong with the sun” occurs far more often simply because one is not awake. This is validated by fairly rare “something wrong with the moon” dreams occurring at a different time in the sleep cycle than the “something wrong with the sun” dreams. In fact, the specific dynamics (studied from when I was only a child) relate directly to the specific time within the sleep cycle, which validates it has little to do with “interpretation” and more about biology and not being conscious at a specific time.

“Something wrong with the sun” in a dream is simply a metaphor for not being conscious and being aware of the real sun. How hard is that? Dreams, after all, are all about distortions, errors in memory, and the failure of thinking skills that naturally comes from being unconscious (other than literal prescience, which is not limited to the dream state anyway). An “end of the world” scenario is often just a result of the dream inevitably coming to an end when more sleep is subliminally desired, though all factors must be looked at closely, though not in wrongfully assuming that the “I am” of the dream state (personified subconscious, which has no viable memory or intelligence) is the same as the “I am” of the current conscious self identity.

It is rare for the personified preconscious (in this case, the unknown male driver) to passively sustain the dream state since its purpose (via RAS) is to mediate waking. However, my dream self had already worked out it was not the end of the world, though I did not attain viable lucidity prior to waking.

---