Hopeless Wanderings

I had a couple dreams that I remember from last night but I'm only gonna post this one.

I think I was on the floor, and my dad was home. I didn't want him to see me. I felt weird, and that's when I realized I was dreaming. I went into the kitchen and tried to clear the dream by looking and my hands, but it didn't work much. I wanted one thing- answers. So I tried to summon someone. I tried so fucking hard. I closed my eyes and imagined that person right there in front of me, I thought this so hard. But when I opened my eyes, there was no one, and then I woke up. Fuck.

Sorry, I'm just tired today.

My friend's dad locked me in his basement in a tiny cell for weeks(or months?). In order to eat, I caught mice and somehow started fires to roast them over. When the dad asked me what I ate, and I told him. "I eat everything but the insides." My body was starved and withering away. I was scared and alone. I looked for ways to escape but it was impossible. Then, my friend and her mom came home and somehow I got access to a cell phone. At this point, I was sobbing. I tried calling the friend's mom to tell her what her husband was doing to me but the call didn't go through. My friend came by and I saw a chance to get a hold of a bottle of alcohol. I told her this, and she told me not too because her dad might find out and be mad. Then I found another phone and tried to call 911 but when I pressed "9" a "0" would pop up after it so it took me awhile. I was crying so hard saying, "help me, help me!" It was traumatizing.

It wasn't quite a nightmare, but a scary, disturbing dream.

Me, my parents, and one of my friends where in a car driving to ABR(a cross-country ski place). The road was snowy had really steep hills. One of the hills was so steep that our civic could barely get up it without slipping backwards down. When we reached the top, the car lost control and we went off the side. We were a lot higher up than I thought, the drop was abut the height of the tallest building on earth. My parents somehow separated from us during the fall and landed safely, but me and my friend kept falling. I was so scared that I closed my eyes. When I opened them, I was standing in a winter wonderland outside of a small house. That's when I met Jesus. He had a kind face and looked just like you think he'd look except his hair was a bit lighter and shorter. Unfortunately, I don't remember what he said to me(and I don't think it was that important), but he was really nice. I figured out that the place we were in wasn't Heaven, but a type of limbo that we would stay with Jesus in for awhile before making our way to Heaven. I wondered if he was going to tell us stories of his adventures on earth, or what we would do with all this time. I did not want to be there. I had other things to do on earth. Me and my friend sat by the stream, and cried, and cried.. until my tears filled up and the stream became a river, and soon big waves came.. My friend was unharmed by the waves, but they washed over me and carried me away. To where, I do not remember.

don't know if this is even worth posting, but it's a lucid so I want to have it recorded.
I had a lucid that was longer than usual but I was too lazy to write it down after I woke up so this is all I remember.

Something didn't feel right. I had to be dreaming. I looked at my hands and, sure enough, I was dreaming. I did some things that I don't remember. This guy started walking up towards me. I came on to him. He shook his head no, but I took my shirt of and then he took his off, then I was taking off my second shirt when I woke up.

I haven't had a nightmare in a loooooong time.
I watched Silent Hill for the first time yesterday...

I was watching a movie with my parents and some other people. The movie was so horrifying that I had to close my eyes at parts. For example, in one part, there was a mother who lost her child and screams of terror came out of her. There was blood running down a path, the blood from her daughter, and it turned into dark ashes. At another point in the movie, it was like a war scene from Lord of the Rings. After the movie, some people laid down on the ground and the director of the movie asked who wanted their legs sawed off. It was apparently just for show and not real. A guy volunteered. He was overweight, had brown curly hair, and wore dark clothes. The director got a saw and started sawing through his leg. It looked pretty real to me. We were forced to watch this movie twice, and the second time, it became real...

I was with Niki and was popping popcorn. A black guy and some other guys came up to us. The black guy asked me if I wanted to "hang out" with him and of course I was hesitant so I said no, but for some reason eventually agreed. We started walking away and then he told me what we had to do. We had to sneak up on these guys and kill them before they would kill us. We were in a huge clothing warehouse and the guys were sitting on a window ledge. They saw us and came towards us. There was lots of fighting. At one point Lindsey Stirling and I were throwing darts at each other(lol).

Then sirens went off...

Everybody ran away. It was me and a group of people left, consisting of the black guy, one girl, and a bunch of other guys. We didn't have time to run back, so instead we ran forward. It was like a game and we had to get to the end. We ran towards a window that was facing a brick wall. It was night time so we couldn't see much except the reflection of us. The "creatures" were coming. I was so scared I closed my eyes. The black guy said, "don't close your eyes, look at my finger," for if I closed my eyes they could get me. He told me to look away and stand still and that way they won't see you. The "creatures" came up behind us, but they appeared as a copy of us. The girl turned around to see them. Big mistake. When she did that, even more appeared. She tried stabbing one of them but it was no use. They were surrounding us. They were about to attack...

I woke up and it was 6 am. I was too frightened to go back to sleep because I didn't want to go back to the dream. Everytime I closed my eyes I would see dead bodies and blood and scary creatures. So I wrote in my DJ and left the light on and finally went back to sleep.

Finally I remembered a long dream!

Katelyn asked me if I wanted to go to Las Vegas with her for some "business" trip, although I have no idea what the business thing was. I was hesitant at first but eventually decided to accompany her. So I packed up my stuff quickly and when we were about to leave I kept remembering things that I forgot to pack. So it took me forever to pack and I asked her what time our plane leaves. She said it leaves at 3pm. It was currently 1pm. "Good," I thought, "we're not late yet." I looked all around the house for my passport before realizing I didn't need one because we weren't traveling out of the country. On the way out, I saw my grandpa sitting on a bed. He looked at me, at without saying a word, gave me 100$. I told him thank you and gave him a hug. I remember having to go to the bathroom a zillion times(because I had to go in RL) and one time when I came out, I asked where the airport was and Katelyn and Ali said, "it's right there! You should know this, are you stupid?" and sure enough, I turned around and there it was.

The next thing I know, we were in Vegas. We arrived at this small bar/club and a few of Katelyn's co-workers were there. Everyone was dressed up all nice. There was music playing and some people were dancing. We had a drink and tried to fit in by dancing. I didn't know how to dance so it was kind of awkward. Then this guy stood on a chair wearing a costume and made us guess what it was(but I don't remember). I turned around and saw Allie P with a drink in her hand. I was trying to get her attention but she kept ignoring me.

At some point in this dream, I received a sandwich-sized bag which fish in it. There were 4 or 5 fish. One of them was a blue and black colored clownfish, which I referred to as "Blue Nemo" and another one was a tiny mermaid fish that looked like Ariel, which I thought was pretty cool. I hung the bag in a bigger fish tank so the water would stay the right temperature until I was able to bring the fish home for my dad to add to his fish tank.

Then, for God only knows what reason, we went to a Pussycat Dolls concert. We appeared to be on the side of the stage, facing the crowd. The crowd consisted of a bunch of teenagers/young adults, all female, who were dancing. These two girls came up to us and asked if we wanted to hang out later, to which I don't remember our response. Then, Drew Barrymore came up to us. She was drunk, and slurring her words, she asked if we wanted to join her for a party later. Katelyn said no, but I considered it because she was famous and maybe it would be fun. In the end though, we decided not to go.

The next day, we arrived at another of Katelyn's co-worker's place, which was a type of store. The lady who worked there was trying to get people to apply for a job. I was standing by someone who decided to quit right then and there. Even after that, I still kind of wanted to apply anyway. The lady asked if anyone wanted a pumpkin spice alcoholic drink, which sounded delicious to me. This girl replied, "no thanks, my parents puked last night," since they drank it the night before. Then the lady offered people sandwiches and everyone got in a line to receive one. She was also handing out spoons for anyone who wanted chocolate sauce.

I woke up with the song Take It Off by Kesha playing in my head, specifically the lines, "it's a hole in the wall, it's a dirty free for all, where we go hardcore and there's glitter on the floor" Seems to fit Vegas pretty well.

-fragment about glancing at an Uno game and wondering if I could apply for a job at Uno by answering people's questions about the game. I thought that would be a fun/easy job

I don't think this is even worth posting, but I want to record as much as I possibly can to help improve my recall.

-Was with my mom picking up my dad somewhere(airport?) and I was bored of waiting so I went driving down the road(and went rollerblading?)

-I had a Christmas present that I didn't give to my dad yet. For some reason I didn't like the way it was wrapped so I opened it and then wrapped it again

-I was walking down my street dancing happily. People were staring but I didn't care.

yeah.. pointless entry.

Bad dream recall night

I was at my house with my parents and I was looking in the food closet where there was a stack of movies. I don't remember which one I picked, but once we put it in it was like a disaster movie. It wasn't just a movie, it was like actually being there and seeing it happen. There were huge waves flooding the city. Now we were "at" Sydney, Australia. The waves had stopped and someone said, "it's finally over." But of course, that wasn't the case. A huge, monster wave was towering above the city. Then I woke up.

-fragment about going to sleep in the middle of the day because I was tired

-fragment about my grandpa giving me peanut m&ms

I really need to work on not losing the dream 1 minute after I become lucid.

Something didn't feel right. I looked at my hands and saw that I was dreaming. I was in my house at night time, and wanted to go outside so that I could go explore. The dream was pretty unstable so I stared at my hands for quite awhile to try to stabilize. I went to the door to the garage and I was afraid that opening a door would make me wake up so I just walked right through it. Then I was in my garage and the garage door was closed so I walked through that as well but then I woke up.

I was learning about WWII by actually being there and seeing some of it happen. Apparently there was a big flood that trapped thousands of soldiers who drown. Hmm, never read about that one in history books.

I was with a girl in my room who I've never met before but it was like we were friends already. I went into my mom's room and she was slurring her words and stumbling around. I got mad at her for being drunk so I yelled, "FUCK YOU!" like five times. She didn't respond. I thought of how my new year's resolution was to be a good person and realized I was kind of failing at that by swearing at my mom. Oh well. I went back into my room and was crying and I think my "friend" was trying to comfort me.

Two gay men who looked alike and dressed exactly the same were making out on my kitchen floor

Woke up with the song "Sweater Weather" playing in my head.

On the first day of New Years my Dream Guide gave to me: 1 dream, 2 dream fragments, 4 False Awakenings, 2 short lucids, and a partrige in a pear tree. (Just kidding about the last one).

I hardly EVER have false awakenings. This is probably only about my 3rd time having them in all my time practicing lucid dreaming(which is about 7 years). I would always browse the forums and wonder why there were so many threads related to that. Well now I know..

I was with my sister and we were in the car listening to music on my laptop. We got to a store and I left my laptop in the car with the music still playing and the windows down(What a stupid thing to do) and I didn't lock the car. Then we went inside the store and a few minutes later I realized that I probably should have locked the car. So I went back out side, and sure enough the car is gone. I get out my phone and call 911. I was actually kind of happy that it got stolen because my car is a piece of crap and so is my laptop and I wanted to get a new one.

-fragment about getting Aubrey for secret santa and trying to figure out what to get her

-fragment about getting a galaxy bath bomb for christmas and being very happy about it


-False awakening in which my mom was by my bed telling me something

-False awakening where there was an officer at my bed and I thought he was probably there to talk about my stolen car(from previous dream) but it was super fuzzy, then I "woke up"

-I had another false awakening and I knew I was dreaming because everything was fuzzy. I looked at my hands to stabilize and then got out of bed and walked down the hallway, but everything became so fuzzy that I couldn't see.

-So I "woke up" AGAIN and it didn't feel like real life so I looked at my hands, and sure enough I was still dreaming. This time I could see clearly. I got out of bed again and walked to my living room. It was like somebody had turned the saturation up because everything was so colorful and sharp. I was going to try my goal of flying to space but instead was like, "fuck it, I'm going to have sex."(which I've never done lucid). So I went outside and looked for a guy. There were so many women walking down the street. One of them was dressed like Snooki and was wearing pants and a purple bra and had huge boobs. Finally, I saw a man. He was really good looking. He started walking towards me and he began to take his shirt off but then I woke up.

Happy New Years Eve!

I haven't written down my dreams in a few days because I've been up north with TPLSGM and just haven't been bothered to. But while I was up there, I had this lucid.
Oh and I'm finally changing my lucid color so it's not the lime-green text anymore.

I was starting to wake up so that's when I knew I was dreaming. I was in a room that looked similar to the cabin. Dani was sitting at the kitchen table. I stared at the texture of the table to stabilize. I decided to try one of my goals. "What's the meaning of life?" I asked her. She stared at me with a blank expression and said, "uhhhhhh.... I don't know."

My next goal was to either summon a dead person or fly to space. I thought it would be too hard to fly to space so I decided to try to summon Robin Williams. So I closed my eyes, thought hard about him, and when I opened them, a lady appeared and we were in a room full of gold. There were gold vases and things on shelves around the room, and I thought maybe I was in heaven. The lady was wearing a white dress with gold detail and black hair, like a goddess. She kind of reminded me of Katy Perry in one of her music videos. There was also another lady who looked similar. The lady by me said, "This is the Lord's prayer room" or something like that. It seemed like I wasn't allowed to see Robin Williams. She began to escort me out. I peered into a room that had children singing church songs.

I think I could have stayed lucid longer, but I woke up anyway and had a false awakening in which I grabbed a pen and notebook to write down this dream. I think this might have been my first false awakening ever.

I woke up with the theme song from the tv series Lost playing in my head.

This is my fourth night of remembering dreams in a row! hip hip hooray
-I wrote in my daily Waking Journal last night. I don't know if that's what's helping me or if I'm just naturally getting better at recalling dreams.

I was in a gay relationship with an old friend, S. We only went out once and I don't think we ever kissed or anything. Before that, I told AP I was gay and she was very accepting. But I wasn't actually gay, I was just pretending to be in a relationship with this girl because I couldn't find the right guy. S was actually really nice and I think she really liked me.

It had been quite awhile since we first went out and I hadn't really talked to her since. I felt kind of bad about that. We both had these mini journals that we would write in. I found a pencil in my closet that looked like it was from kindergarten. But then I looked at the date and it said 1998 and I thought no, I was older than that back then(but now that I think about it, I was actually 6 years old back then, kindergarten age). Anyways, I sneaked a peek at S;s journal and it mentioned how she was feeling lonely, probably because I wasn't talking to her. So I took the pencil and wrote something in my journal, like that I did care about her, and drew flowers by it.

Sometime in between this dream, I was with my sister and it was Christmas Day(it IS Christmas Day!) in the morning. The parents had gone for a bike ride and we were waiting to open presents so we went to Starbucks. It was an outdoor Starbucks and it was very crowded. While waiting in line, Steph said she was going to get a chocolate frapp with double chocolate syrup and whip cream(or something like that). She told me that she ordered a book on ebay with all the secret Starbucks recipes you could order.

Then it went back to the S dream. I was meeting S for a date and I have my drink in hand, which was some kind of frapp. We were walking towards each other on each side of these benches that had overgrown grass and flowers by them. It was kind of a pretty scene. I woke up before I could sit down.

I woke up with the song "Holland Road" by Mumford and Sons playing in my head. The "ahh ahh ah ahhh... if you believe in me I'll still believe" part was playing.

Merry Christmas!

3rd night in a row remembering my dreams! I'm on a roll!
wrote in waking journal & drank apple juice last night

-I was in math class. Danielle missed the first days of class so she wanted me to teach her. I was trying to learn up to chapter 3 in the math book.
-I saw two famous youtubers outside the library. Also saw an old man, not dressed for winter, rollerblading on the path even though there was snow on the ground.

It was Christmas Eve(it is Christmas Eve!). My mom wanted me to go to the store to get frosting for some reason. So I went to Pick N Save and picked up some vanilla frosting. When I got to the checkout, the checkout lady acted like I was applying for a job there and told me I would have to take a quiz and have good social skills. She was wearing a Winter Park t-shirt and I was wondering why since we were in my hometown, not up north. A man dressed in all black came up to me and said he wanted to come over. I'd never met him before and I just wanted to get away from him. I told him we were having family over for dinner at 6(also true in RL). It was currently 5:30. My mom showed up and it seemed like she didn't mind him coming over, although he ended up not following us home. Now it was my mom, Aunt MJ, grandma, and some other people and they were all walking home from the store. We were going the wrong way. "Where are we going?" I asked. A few of them just raised their hand in the air instead of answering me. I thought that was rude. I asked again, annoyed. My mom told me we were going a different way that was less slippery for grandma. OKay then.

Then I appeared on a small wooden boat. Someone there was telling me to play violin, even though I've never played before. I began setting it up and my friends appeared(Allie P. and someone else). We all started rocking the boat and it wouuld flip over and then flip back. One time it flipped over and we were all trapped underwater, but we were all still laughing and having fun. But this time the boat didn't flip back over and instead started sinking. We made it to the surface. I tried to swim back down to get my purse but it sank down too deep.

I woke up with the some "Weaknesses" By Blue October playing in my head.

Wow, two nights in a row of remembering dreams! yay! I wrote in my daily journal last night, so maybe that really is helping.
I'm thinking of finally changing the font color of lucids since they're kinda hard to read. But I don't want to go through and change every single one, so I'm not sure. Too lazy.

I was in the bathroom at a huge hotel taking a shower when my hand started to feel funny. I looked down and saw that one of my fingers was short. The top half was missing and it was a stub. I was dreaming. It felt so real and vivid that it took me awhile to believe that. I was really excited so I stared at my hands to stabilize and then stared at the wall. I could see so much detail in everything. I went outside the bathroom and into the main lobby of the hotel. The ceiling was about 8 stories high so I decided to fly up. I spread my arms and began "swimming" up. I went really fast.(Usually it takes me a long time to get high.. haha get high.. you know what I mean). I made it to the ceiling and then floated back down. I wasn't sure what to do next so I decided to go outside and explore. Then I lost it.

I was in high school in Ms. Red-Head's English Class(I forgot her name. The senior year teacher). Some girl in the class had written a book that we were discussing. We were sitting in a huge circle of desks and I was next to Niki, who also wrote a book. I got rid of my copy of the book we were looking at because, frankly, I just didn't give a shit. I tossed Niki's book across the room to these two girls because I wanted more people to hear her book instead of the other girl's. The teacher found out that someone had tossed a book across the room and asked who it was. Several students pointed at me and I raised my hand, looking guilty. The teacher then told me to gather up my stuff and choose a room to sit quietly in. I chose a room that was connected to the classroom. I was actually quite happy to leave the class. There was a couch in the room and I began to set up my computer on it. I realized I didn't have a copy of the book we were discussing.
"Can I have a book?" I asked.
"That will be 3 dollars and 14 cents," the teacher replied.

-fragment at my house offering Dani if she wants bagels and cream cheese because she was hungry

-at some point I heard God's voice saying, "Come with me."

I drank Apple Juice and I wrote a daily journal to help with my dream recall. I think it helped, considering that I haven't been able to remember any dreams from the past two days. Most of these are just fragments, but hey, there's four of them. And it's better than nothing.


I was a black man forced into the army in WWII. I just remember being really scared.

I was in the silver car with Niki heading somewhere. The roads were snowy. We were going down a hill and I lost control and the car flipped on it's side for a second then flipped back. No one was hurt. A bunch of snow got in the car and I tried to pick it up and shake the snow out or something.

I was in the high school just peering in one of the rooms. Everyone had a huge knit rug they were working on.

Since I didn't have a job or anything, my parents forced me into joining the army. Niki was also forced by her mom. I really, really did not want to go. I think I was almost crying at a few points. I complained to Niki, "we're not good at anything. We're just gonna end up being cooks or cleaning the bathrooms." and a man near me said something like, "hey, the army needs those kinds of people. There's nothing wrong with being a cook," and then I felt bad for saying that. I was packing very slowly and wondering how I would be ready to leave in a few hours. I don't think I actually ever made it there.

what's up with all these army dreams? I think it's from reading Unbroken..