lucid

Nonlucid, Lucid, Partially lucid

May 2, 2011: There is a birthday party, for a children, a young girl, I think. Another girl comments that she is a bad host.
There is a girl in a sleeping bag on the floor. She is concerned because someone had predicted something bad would happen to her.
I am like her mother. I give her a personal symbol of strength to protect her. It's a small sea shell. I ask her to remember the time she had fun on the beach.
I see a mirror. The reflection is not my own. I become lucid. I talk to the reflection and say this is a dream. "But it is also real (experience). Is it less real or more real?" I decide that the words probably do not apply, because the dream is something other than "real" or "not real." It is both.

I don't think of all that while in the dream, but it describes how I feel.

I touch a plant while I am musing on the realness of the dream. It is a large succulentus plant. I go through a window and the dream fades.

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I am camping with my girlfriend. I am naked, in a car or truck with no top. I cover us with a blanket over the car. I want to have sex with her, but a woman shows up and asks her a question. Something about what another lady had said earlier.
They go away to talk.
I put on shorts and then a shirt. Thee are other guys watching me. I pretend to fall asleep. A dog approaches me. Then several dogs appear and start attacking me. I fight back and kill some of them. I feel like I am not in control, and I don't want to be violent.
I end up inside the house (my parents').
The window on the kitchen door is broken and glass is on the ground. I become partially lucid as I step outside.

I try to fly, and sort of do. Then I am in town, walking down a road. I burp loudly and pretend to be a dinosaur or monster. I knock over a car that looks kind of like a golf cart.
A small woman doll is screaming. The doll is round and it's mouth opens like a dummy.
I am at a hospital, or something like one, in a room that looks like a play area for kids. There is a plastic container full of dolls. These dolls have wire springs for arms and legs.

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I am lucid and outside my parents' house. I jump into the pond and swim. A big fish starts swimming at me.
It gets bigger and I hold onto its side. It waves its tail to swim quickly and goes out of the water, onto land.
It is like an inflatable fish. I climb onto its back and ride it on land. It sort of has legs like a horse. We ride through tree branches. One branch punctures the fish and it begins to deflate.
Then I am no longer lucid. There is a folding ladder with bottles of glue on it.

Nonlucid, Lucid, Partially lucid

April 22, '11: I am in the kitchen of my childhood home. Mom asks me why i got baptised (when I was 12). I tell her at the time I thought it was something I needed to do.
Mom talks and becomes very angry. she says I get to do whatever I want. I say that everyone has limitations, but she doesn't listen. She comes toward me and Dad intervenes, getting between us.

I say "She's fucking crazy!" Dad is angry that I said "fucking," and says she can't help it.
I wake up and smash my clock.

After another nonlucid dream, I WILD and enter a dream consciously.

Still lying in bed, I'm not sure if I am awake or dreaming. I sit up and pinch my nose and breath through it.
I am in a place like a hotel, possibly with a pool and bar. I walk around and call out for mom. I see a woman from behind that I think is her.
I confront her and tell her to leave me alone.
Then I see another woman from behind that looks more like her than the last one. I confront her and I thank her for raising me the best she knew how. I hug her and then find dad sitting at a bar. I thank him, too, for raising me the best he knew how.
Then the dream fades.

I enter another lucid dream. I am at the bar again, sitting with dad, playing with straw wrapper. I tell him that I want to do things in the dream world that I haven't done before, like gambling.
I am in a casino. I sit at a card table with other men and start throwing cards around. I pick up a tiny card and eat it. I give up and leave because I don't know what I'm doing.

I go to a pool table to play. Me and another guy clear the table of the boxes of soda cans that are on top of it. I note how light they are. I want to play pool to see what the physics of the will be like.
I start to set up the table but it takes too long, so I just get a stick and try hitting balls.
It is difficult. A ball floats above the table, they don't move right and there is a gutter hole all along the edge of the pool table, so the balls just fall in, rather than bounce off the edge.

I say "These physics suck!" I quit and tell the other guy that he wins.

Nonlucid, Lucid, Partially lucid

April 20, 2011: I am swinging from ropes/strings, kind of like window blind strings, on the side of a building. I come to a really tall tree, with a room inside the top of it. Someone is inside the room. At the base of the tree, which is against a wall, I try to put up a long ladder made of big, bendy tree branches.

But the ladder is wobbly and falls over. I look up and a large branch falls toward me, kind of slowly. I kick the falling branch out of the way.
A truck or van drives by with "TNT" written on the side, in big letters. Two yellow vans also drive by. I think they are cops undercover, and that they are going to come after me.
I fly into the air and two men and a lion chase after me on the ground. I realize I'm dreaming. I tell them to go away and then I ignore them.
I fly between two rows of trees, hitting some leaves as I go. I say "I'm the lucidest motherfucker on the road!" as I attempt to stabilize.

Then I bang into a tree and it shakes. I state aloud that when I hit the tree, a castle will come up from the ground, and I gesture to a field on my right where I want the castle.
I hit the tree again and turn around to give the castle a chance to appear behind me. But I see a large castle in the other direction.
I fly toward it, and say that it is a cool castle.
Since the castle appeared like I wanted, I thought I could get Sheila to appear too. I see a fountain with a decorative stone thing in the middle of it. I state aloud that when I press the stone, Sheila will appear on the ground below. I push in the statue thing and I wake up.

Nonlucid, Lucid, Partially lucid

April 19, 2011: I am in my old bedroom. I have a chair that is also a fish tank, full of water and some soil and plants. I see triops swimming around in the water. I am surprised and happy to see them still alive.

Then I become suspicious and suspect that I could be dreaming, because this sort of thing happens in dreams, and I usually wake up disappointed. I nose pinch but can't tell if I am dreaming or awake.
Eddie is in my room, looking for something. I ask him if this is a dream. He babbles about something I don't understand.

I conclude that I must because of the situation. Then I remember that I want to meditate in a dream. I sit on the floor, in meditation position and shut my eyes.
I feel like I am floating, and then I wake up.

Nonlucid, Lucid, Partially lucid

April 17, 2011: I consciously enter a dream. I get up out of bed. Everything is dark, grainy and black and white. Things clear up a bit and I find my girlfriend lying in a bed. Then the dream fades and I begin to wake up.

I get up. I'm not sure if I am awake or not, so I pinch my nose. I can still breath through it, so I know I am in a dream.
I comment on how bright, colorful, and realistic this dream is, unlike the previous one. I call out my intention to face my nightmares and fears and confront them.
I see a creepy hooded guy upstairs. I approach him and I demand that the nightmares stop being a nuisance. Lots of other people and things appear. I tell all of them to leave me alone and that I want to explore and grow, and learn without them hindering me, or being in the way.

I tell this to a mirror and to a dark place. I tell them all to go away!
There is something like a flash, everyone vanishes, and I wake up.

Nonlucid, Lucid, Partially lucid

April 4, 2011: WILDed again.
I was lucid in a dream and found my girlfriend. I asked her to tell me whenever I am dreaming. I'm not sure how she responded.
She laid on the floor in the small hallway of our house. I grabbed a bunch of food from the fridge and put them on the floor with her. She vanished and I heard Eddie in the bathroom. I was naked. I picked up all the food and took it to my room. I held a soda can in one hand, it felt cold.
I put the food on my desk and started eating it. Maybe I wasn't fully lucid for this part.

I tried to make my girlfriend appear on the bed, with no success. I held my arm and hand up like a puppet and pretended it was her.
Then I began to wake from the dream, but I entered another lucid dream again. I was outside, climbed a tree and saw a small kid standing on a car.

I called out for my girlfriend again and heard her in the woods somewhere. I found her again and asked her what she was suppose to tell me.
She said something ridiculous like "You're the bomb."
I said no, and told her she was suppose to tell me that I was in a dream.
Then I tried to have a direct mental connection with her. I put my hands on her head. I was feeling very horny. She began to morph and turned into a cat-like creature. Then I woke up.

Nonlucid, Lucid, Partially lucid

March 29, 2011: I was in a meditation class, in my mother's old ballet studio. We were sitting on the floor in rows. The teacher walked around instructing us.
We were suppose to feel something. Other students felt whatever it was they were meant to feel, but I never felt anything.
Most of the class left early. I staid and talked with the teacher, a lady maybe in her 40s.

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I became lucid through WILD method.
I floated out of bed, in the air. I wanted to see my dream guide. I said out load that I opened myself to her higher guidance. She did not appear. I walked through the house, repeating my intent.
i saw an open drier with laundry in it, and there was cat poop stuck to the bottom of my feet, barefoot.
(note: When I was younger, we had a cat that died in the drier. So that's what the open drier in my lucid dream made me think of.)

I said out load that I wanted help from my dream guide, help with dealing with or getting rid of fear and worry.
I felt myself waking up.
I re-entered a dream and saw Eddie (who is 9) outside through a glass sliding door. I did something to scare him. Then I grabbed him and stretched his mouth open and shaped him into a round kitten. The kitten ball floated in the air.

I was outside on the patio where the wood was stacked. I lightly punched the floating ball of kitten and it floated away. I saw another cat and asked her if my dream guide was around. The cat just acted like a cat. I tried to make the cat into something else, but it didn't work. She looked dead for a moment, but then was OK.
I talked to the cat, asking why I can't do certain things in my lucid dreams. I said maybe it's because I said I couldn't do it.
I must have felt that I was waking up, because I lied down on the patio and tried to WILD again, then realized I was still dreaming.

I thought of something I knew I could do, which was fly. I jumped from the patio and swung from a tree branch, but did not fly. I was like "What the hell?!"
I climbed up a tree trunk, to the sawed off top, and jumped and flew. i flew around a large tree with long, creepy branches that looked like bird-like monsters. I landed on a building ledge next to the tree.

I was having trouble flying. It felt like i was holding two cloths in my hands that I used as wings, and they were getting twisted. I tried turning it into a blanket to use as wings, like I use to do when I was little. But that didn't work either.
Then I saw N and called to her. She ran away playfully. I thought I didn't have time to chase after her. I turned around and saw two of her friends. Then I felt myself waking up again.

I thought for a second that I had woken up, but then realized I was still in a dream. I found N at a table with friends. I removed her pants and underwear and we were about to have sex when I woke up again. This time I decided to get up and write everything down.


Notes: Good points: i remembered my intent to find my dream guide and I was rather persistent about it, at least in the first part.
I was able to continue the lucid dreaming even after partially waking up, by not moving.
Not so good points: I didn't find my dream guide, and other things didn't work well either. I usually don't have any trouble flying in my lucid dreams.
Perhaps I should try doing things in dreams with no expectations at all. When I try having expectations, I always have doubts, or negative expectations that effect my results.

Nonlucid, lucid, partially lucid

March 17, 'll: Entered a dream using the WILD method, with difficulty. I felt like I was floating in the air, and then I was floating on the ocean, rocking with the waves, looking up at the sky. It was very relaxing. I could hear the waves and wind, which I think was actually my breathing.


Then I was swinging upside down by a rope, from a tree over the driveway. There was a party around me. I was not lucid. My sister was annoyed at me. She and her friends left in a car.
I walked into the garage and to the front yard.

I became lucid again, and flew around the trees in the yard. I remembered one of my goals, to ask a cat if it could be my dream guide. I saw one cat but it was not one I wanted to ask.
Inside the house, I asked our oldest cat, Bender, if he could be my dream guide. I told him to do something specific for yes or no. He just meowed and acted like a normal cat. I told him that he could talk because this was a dream, but he didn't.

In the kitchen, I smashed a statue on the ground and sprayed water on the walls and soaked a hand-made thing hanging on the wall. The paint began to run. I sprayed the water on an electric device and felt an electric shock.
Then I met other dreamers. One guy was on the counter. I was not fully lucid and I was acting strange. I apologized and explained that I was not in full control.

Another guy wanted to show me something. He opened the grandfather clock, moved one of the weights to the face of the clock, somehow, and did something with one of the hands.
The clock began to play a little tune because of what he did. I said "that's awesome," and asked how he figured that out. He was just messing around and discovered that the clock would do that.
I said that some things in dreams are very cool, while some things are not (scary things, for example).

I was about to leave. The guy said "see you later." So I asked for his name so I could find him again, either in a dream or in waking life. He asked if I wanted his email, but I said I couldn't remember something like that.
I told him that in waking life I am rather quite.
He told me his name and gave me a small piece of paper with Egyptian writing on it. It also had his "name" on it, as a symbol that looked like a beetle, or a sea turtle. Basically it was just an oval with two curved lines sticking out the sides.
The guy had a short beard and longish dirty blond hair.

I said "where will this be when I wake up?"
He said it will be "behind my ear," or "a tug at my ear," and I will see it "on the hood of a car," like the car's logo symbol. I put the paper in my pocket.

I left the house through a window, and flew and smashed through glass walls of another house.
I saw my family at a dinner table. I kept going and said "bye fucks!"
I floated near a place where there use to be woods. There were ghost-like people there, suffering. The woods had been cursed, or poisoned.

Nonlucid, Lucid, Partially lucid

March 13, '11: I was in a theater, watching a terrible movie about a girl who was part dog. She had a small furry tail and she said "woof." I think the movie was for kids, even though it seemed somewhat sexual.
There was a toy helicopter flying around overhead, controlled by someone in the audience.
I thought I was stuck there, but then i remembered that I could do anything I want, even fly. I thought I was possibly in the same world as the day before, when my mother was lost.

I got up from my seat and walked down the steep steps. I became more lucid and began to fly and picked up a girl. I talked to her a little and almost told her that this was a dream, but decided not to. She had a weird voice, like a guy trying to sound like a girl.
Suddenly someone behind me poked me in the butt, right in the middle, with his finger. It was some guy with curly blond mop hair. I was annoyed but decided to greet him friendly so he wouldn't continue being a jerk. His eyes were like white marbles with a little cartoon person drawn on them. I said they looked cool.

Then I got into a discussion about racism with a black man who was not interested in talking to me.
I walked outside and lost lucidity.
There was a long path, covered in mud, with a metal fence on one side. The fence was loose and the path was partially flooded, in the middle of a large body of water.

The path was blocked and then I was stuck because I couldn't go back the way I came. I was standing on ice, floating in the water. I called out for help. A lady in a boat came to help me.
Then I remembered that I could fly, but I wanted in the boat anyway.

Note:This is the second of two recent dreams in which I called out for help and a woman showed up to assist me.

Nonlucid Lucid Partially lucid

Successful WILD

March 8, '11: Laying on my back in bed, I felt that I was close to sleep. I imagined moving my arms and it began to feel real. I stood up out of bed. I saw a cat and tested to see if it could see me or if it would be scared. The cat acted normally. I looked at my bed and did not see my body in it. I commented on this.

I was in my childhood home, as usual. I rubbed my hands together to stabilize the dream, intending to stay in the dream for a long time.
I tried to remember what to do and remembered that I had already asked for my spirit name in a previous lucid dream.
I said "my dream name is Justin. No... ________!" I got it wrong the first time, but then corrected myself. (it is nothing like "Justin").
I said my dream/spirit name again as I walked into the kitchen. Another cat was on the table. He grew gigantic when I said my name and did a hand gesture at him. I was happily surprised by this.

It was dark outside, so I decided to make it daytime. I commanded it to be daylight, possibly using my dream name again. It became very bright outside, like a huge explosion. Then it became a beautiful sunny day. I saw Adam through the kitchen window, playing with his dog or cat with a ball.
I was very pleased with my control, and that the dream obeyed my desires. I made my cat levitate a couple of feet off the floor. Then I intended to go outside through the door without opening it. I jumped at the wall and hit it. I tried again and this time went through the wall with no trouble.

I flew and said "I am a god of this dream world!" (I said "a god" rather than "the god" because I recognized that there were other forces also in control of the dream).
I said "I want to see my dream guide and Sheila, now!" I might have felt that someone was about to show up, but I woke up.
Perhaps I didn't attempt to stabilize enough.

Dream Lucid Partially lucid

March 4, 2011: I had a sort of successful WILD, but the lucid dreams were unstable. I entered a dream and ended up on the floor with N. We made out some and maybe had sex.
I woke up and entered another lucid dream. I was in church and I had sex with several people there.
I tried to go back to "Sahn" (a place I visited in a previous dream) by going out the back door. Outside, I called out for Sheila. I remembered to try using emotion to summon her, so I fell to the ground and pretended to cry. I rolled over onto my back and felt the dream start to fade. I yelled "Don't wake up!" but it was too late and I woke up.

Dream Lucid Partially lucid

Feb. 24, '11: I was in a car, passenger, I think. An angel was driving a car behind us. The girl in the car with me said the angel didn't like me. There was a big truck beside us, the angel car did something to put us in danger and we almost crashed.
I thought I was ok, but then I realized i was floating above the road and I had died.
I was Buffy (from Buffy the Vampire Slayer), and also partially George (from Dead Like Me). I saw my body on the road, along with the girl who was in the car with me. I was dead and a ghost. I became very upset and started crying.

I had been working with dead people for a long time. Now I was one.
Then I was in the kitchen, sitting on the counter and washing dirt off my feet in the sink.

Emotionally exhausted, I was led to a room and told I could stay there as long as I wanted/needed to, until I was ready to move on. To the rest of the world, I was dead. The place was like an apartment for ghosts.
There were three other dead people in room next to mine. They had been staying there for many years. I had known them when I was alive, but not when they were alive.
I sat in a chair, with a woman, in her room. She was comforting me.
I became angry at a cat that was bothering me, and I yelled "I'll kill you!" Then I started crying again.
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I was walking down the driveway, towards my parents' house. At first I though I was just imagining in and now yet asleep. Then I thought I was possibly awake and really there. I asked myself if I had just walked to the mailbox. I couldn't remember, so I concluded that I was dreaming.

I found some small pools of water among green moss and grass. I dipped my hands in the water and lifted some in my cupped hands. I thought about drinking it, but the water wasn't very clean looking.
Then it got cloudy and rather windy. I didn't like it.

I called up to the sky and asked the dream what my spiritual name was. I cupped my palms over my ears to listen, because it was windy and noisy. I heard a voice respond, and I said "thank you" to the sky.

I want to keep the name that the dream gave me private. In the dream, I didn't remember what the name meant, but I knew I had heard it before. After I woke, I had an idea of what it meant and I wasn't sure if I should accept it. Later, looked it up. I was mostly right about what it meant, but there were other things about it that I think makes it OK to use in my dreams.

Then I said, to myself "if this is my dream, who makes the wind and the clouds? A part of myself?" It was getting very dark and windy, like a storm. The sky voice said something I didn't understand.
I was blown away, into the air.
It's like the dream was showing me that it was stronger than me.
I ended up in a room, floating. There was a man who was not solid, who then disappeared.
A hand and arm went through my chest. There was a weird toy or doll hanging from the ceiling.

Dream Lucid Partially lucid

Feb. 18, '11: I was in my parents' bathroom, in their old house, facing the large mirror. I suspected that I was dreaming and I tested it in some strange ways. I slapped myself in the face, but it didn't feel normal.
Then I pinched my nose and could still breath, so I knew I was dreaming. i looked at my hands and rubbed them together to stabilize the dream.
I went out the back door, to the patio and yelled up to the sky "hey dream!" I asked it how to get rid of inner fear and doubt, but I didn't say it right at first so I asked again. I got no answer.
There were some women nearby. I jumped down from the patio, onto the ground. One girl was being chased by someone. We both laid on the ground to hide. I asked her if she knew how to get rid of or lessen inner fear and doubt. She said singing helps. I felt like I was making her say it. Then I humped her for a few minutes.

I got up and she turned into a cat (why does that always happen?). I felt like I was about to wake up, so I looked at my hands and rubbed them together and everything got more vivid again.
I went around to the front of the house, on the porch. I saw the kitchen through the window. I walked through the wall into the kitchen quite easily.
I put my finger through the palm of my hand, mostly for the fun of it. I tried to stretch my arm to reach an object on the other side of the room, but it didn't really work.

There were more cats in the kitchen, and one at the door. I let it in and screamed at it. Then I wondered why I did that (a non-lucid slip?).
I thought to call Sheila again. I reached into my pocket for my cell phone, but it wasn't there. I was wearing pajama pants. So I picked up the kitchen cordless phone. I said "Sheila?"
And a voice answered, "yeah."
I said, "I want to see you."
The voice said "OK."
"Will you come to the house right away?" I asked.
She said something but I didn't hear it very well.
I said "What?" and there was no answer. I figured maybe she was on her way.

But then I woke up. I couldn't re-enter the dream because I was too awake and there were distracting noises in the house.

Dream Lucid Partially lucid

February 17, '11: I was at a party at my mom's old ballet school. I didn't like it. A bunch of young guys started dancing in a big circle.
My friend's mother was in the hall. She asked me how my job search was going. I said I found one. She asked if it was full time. I said no. She asked if I liked it. I said "it puts money in my pocket."
I went outside to the parking lot. It is nighttime and I have no ride. I see my sister with her friends. I ask her for a ride.
I have really messy chewing gum (purple?) that I keep getting stuck to me and I can't get it off or spit it out. I just stretches and turns into a sticky stringy mess.

My sister leaves and I'm stuck again with no ride. I see a young girl in the window who is looking at me. I jump and start flying. I say "oh yeah, I can fly." Then I knew I was dreaming. I think of how flying is a good dream sign. I pinch my nose and rub my hands together to stabilize.
I say to myself that I could just fly home. Then I say that since this is a dream I don't have to go home at all.
I fly down the road and remembered to call Sheila. I pulled my cell phone from my pocket. I said into it "Hello, Sheila?" And I ask her to meet me at the tree that I was flying to.

I waited and looked around for her. I saw a black and white TV in the tree, with a woman on it. I go to it and say "is that Sheila?"
A couple of times I feel a strong sexual urge, but I try to ignore it.
There was another TV in the tree. This one had a scary looking dog on it. Then it showed a monkey, or maybe a goat with part of its face ripped off, I think by the dog.
Then I am on the ground, among a large group of people sitting around. They all have burned or ripped off faces. It is rather disturbing.
I attempt to spin and go somewhere else, and it wakes me up. As I wake up I think, being awake is somewhere else.

Note: Perhaps using some emotion to find Sheila would work better.

Dream Lucid Partially lucid

Feb. 10, '11: I was driving my car on the highway, going to work. I did not have very good control over the car. (a common dream sign) I blacked out for a few seconds and realized I had been in an accident. We pulled over. someone was hurt and had to go to the hospital. Another man was angry.
I was very upset. N arrived and I told her what happened. I told her that I was going to work, even though I don't work there anymore. I thought I had woken up from a dream, thinking I had to go to work, like I was still in the dream state of mind after waking up. So I thought I was confusing dream and waking reality. This is another example of a dream screwing with my mind.

Then I was in my parents' house, in the kitchen. Finally it occurred to me that I could be dreaming. I was too caught up in the moment earlier to think of it. I pinched my nose and breathed through it, confirming that I was dreaming.
My parents were there and I slapped them in the face (playfully?).
I talked to Anna and told her that I never really knew her very well.