lucid

Dream Lucid Partially lucid

Feb. 7, '11:
1) I had a short lucid moment when I told my mom to have a sense of humor in dreams. She was upset by something I had said.
I asked her if she knew where Sheila was. Then I asked again with different wording. I asked for Sheila to be there.
I saw a girl in the kitchen that did not look like Sheila. She had darkish skin and was very sexy. We had sex for a few seconds until I woke up.

2) I was back in my parents' house, in the dining room. (Not like how I'm usually there in my dreams, like I'm still living there. In this dream I had returned to visit.) Braden approached me and talked about art school. Several people gathered at the table, I think for a Bible study. My dream journal was open on the table. I picked it up and closed it, saying there could be inappropriate stuff in it.

Dream Lucid Partially lucid

February 6, '11: Had another successful WILD. It took a long while, and I moved a couple of times. But eventually I imagined that I was moving, and I felt my dream body move.

I got up. It was dark. I rubbed my hands together and on my body, and looked at my hands until my vision got better. I was in my old bedroom. I opened the window and stuck my head out. I shouted out to the sky "Hey dream!"
I heard my own voice return from the distance, it said "Hey!"
I shouted "What force is keeping me from doing what I want?" (thinking mostly of past lucid dreams, but also waking life.) It was a little difficult saying it right.
There was pause and the voice just said "Hm."

I almost woke up. I tried again and asked the same question. The voice answered and said "fear cells."
I asked what that meant. It had something to do with internal fear.
I asked "How can I overcome it?" but I don't know what the answer was, or if there was one. As I was asking these questions, the window opening kept getting smaller and I was somehow stuck.

I looked at my hands throughout the dream to stabilize.

Then I went outside, crossed the pond on some kind of tarp that was over it, and I climbed up onto the bridge (all of this is in front of my parents' house). I was barefoot and I felt the wood of the bridge with my feet. There were some guys walking around wearing what looked like hotel uniforms. The pond was now purple and boiling, with lots of waves and steam coming from it. I asked one of the guys what it meant. Either he responded or I concluded that it represented my "inner turmoil."

But I said, "It's not always that bad. See, it's calmed down." It had calmed quite a bit, but was still very wavy.
I asked how I can make it better. The guy said "grouse."
I said "what's grouse?"
Turns out it was a meat that a lady was handing out to people. I asked the lady if I could have a piece. She wasn't very outgoing or friendly, but she gave me a stick and a piece of the meat to put on the stick.

Several people were going down to the water to fry the meat on their sticks. I kissed a girl in passing. I didn't want to get too distracted by sex.

There I saw Julie. I said hi and told her that she was dreaming. She just said "OK." She was happy and friendly, but didn't seem to care about that. We went down into this little room area with a wooden floor, where the frying stuff was suppose to be. But it was all gone. Someone commented that the floor wasn't even warm.
I shouted out for heat. I didn't feel any, but the other people said it worked.

I sat between Julie and another girl, and talked. I noticed that the patterns in the wood floor looked like letters. But they didn't make any sense. Suddenly Julie kissed me and I got very aroused. She said that it was my dream making her do that. Gradually I was losing my lucidity. I told her that in waking life I like her but I don't want to have sex with her. And soon after that I woke up.

This is a significant lucid dream for me because usually dream characters in my lucid dreams are not very responsive. But these were definitely responsive and conscious dream figures. Also because it's the first time I've addressed the dream with a question.

Dream Lucid Partially lucid

February 2, 2011: Slept around 6 hours, awake for 15 minutes, slept on back. Had another successful WILD. I did not feel any tingling or vibrations this time. I just noticed that I was moving my left arm. I felt a desk or a piece of wood on my bed. I picked it up and tossed it.

Then I clapped my hands together, still lying in bed. I sort of heard a sound from it. I knew I was dreaming. I sat up, out of my physical body position. I said to myself "I'm getting better at this."
I couldn't see at all at first, but my vision gradually got better. I examined my hand to stabilize the dream. There was light from a window that I held my hand in to see better. I began to see more detail.

I also rubbed my hands together. I stood up and looked back at the bed. My body was not there. I was in my childhood bedroom. I walked out and into the nearby bathroom. I noticed little objects and decorations that I thought I recognized but had forgotten about. I wondered if my mind remembered everything or just "guesstimated," or made stuff up (now I realize that the remembered objects were actually false memories in the dream. The general layout of the house was right, but the details were not accurate to reality).

I walked into my parents bathroom. My mom was there. I tested to see if she could see me. She couldn't. She was doing bathroom stuff and I said I didn't want to see her naked, so I left.
I went out to the garage and flew, looking at my hands again to stabilize. I flew out to the front yard and up to the top of the trees. They were like weird shaped pine trees.

I thought about how I enjoy flying through the trees in my dreams and how I haven't done that in a long time (I really haven't). I grabbed a branch as I flew/floated higher and let go to let it swing. My hand was sticky from sap.
I flew into the woods near our house. One of our cats followed me for a while. I told her to stay out of the road.

My brother showed up and asked about a phone message he had sent me. I told him this was a dream. I also told him I had been looking for a city of some sort. We both laughed because I realized this made no sense.
I asked him if he could remind me that I'm dreaming if I start acting unusual, so I can become lucid again. He seems unsure of his ability to do this, but agrees to try. He looked sweaty. Probably he was hot after running through the woods to me.

Then I begin to lose lucidity. A bear-like monster person attacked and I fought it for a minute. Jason said something about walking through the woods in shorts hurting your legs. I was wearing shorts, so I made them longer.
Soon after that I woke up.

Dream Lucid

January 31, '11: I slept for around 6 hours, stayed awake for 20-30 minutes, and then laid on my back, focusing on my breathing and ignoring any other thoughts. It took a while, but I eventually felt tingly vibrations.
I opened my eyes slightly and looked at the clock. But I couldn't have physically done that because I was facing the wrong way and I had on a blindfold (homemade sleep mask).

I felt myself switch from my physical body to my dream body. I moved my arm and then got up. My vision was not very good. It was dark and faded. I rubbed my hands together. Then I removed a pair of glasses I was wearing and everything was suddenly clear.

I rubbed my hands together again to stabilize the dream, focusing on the sensation. (I forgot that I wanted to examine my hands to stabilize, rather than my usual hand rubbing method.)

I was in a large cabin-like building, full of stuff. It reminded me of the pixel dream world I made on my computer, but in realistic 3D form.
I felt light. I floated into the air and did flips and pushed myself from the walls. I floated up to a big wooden light fixture thing. It was like a chandelier, but weird shaped. I don't remember exactly what shape it was. I made it fall and it broke on the floor.
I floated up higher and I saw into an attic storage space. There was an old stuffed rhino doll that I grabbed.
There was also a large fireplace behind a glass wall.

Then I remembered what I wanted to do. I tried to stretch my arm to reach something far away. My thumb and forefinger stretched and picked up my ghost lamp, and brought it closer to me.
I tried to stretch my arms, but it didn't work.
At some point I also pushed my left hand finger through my right hand palm, not as a reality check, but just because I've never done it before.

I was hungry (my physically body really was hungry) so I went to the fridge. I ate three slices of old pizza and then ate a bunch of other things, wrappers and all. Then I woke up.

While trying to re-enter a dream, I had a short dream-like thing. Someone was instructing me to climb through a small hole, or passage and told me to focus my awareness as I did.

Dream Lucid

Jan. 23, '11: I tried the same breathing method again a couple of times early this morning when I was still tired. I just fell asleep normally. I tried again later when I was more awake. It took a while to relax enough, but eventually I felt the vibrations. I tried to "pull" energy into me to intensify the sensation. It did at first, then stopped, and started up again.

I started lucid dreaming. There was very little visuals or sensations at first, but it became more vivid after a minute or so. I was walking down the hallway of my old home, looking at my hands.
In the living room, I stated my intent and expectation to see Sheila behind me. I turned around and there was nothing.

I woke slightly, feeling vibrations again, and began to dream again.

In the kitchen of the same house, I saw Eddie. He was not wearing a shirt (true to life) I asked him to lead me to Sheila. He said something I didn't understand. Then I followed him through the dining room and into my parents' room.
He went behind the door and I sort of smooshed him with it.
I looked behind the door and he had vanished. There was another door, with light coming from it. I went through it and ended up face-to-face with an androgynous stranger. We kissed and I lost some of my lucidity.

We were in weird poses, and I'm not sure what we were doing. It didn't feel sexual. I didn't really like it. There was a large mirror and it caused some scary reactions, as usual.

I woke again, and began another dream scene.

I was in the music school/ballet school (another childhood location) N was there. We had some sex.
There were several people sitting in the waiting room area, all of them female. I thought it was a good place to look for Sheila. I asked if she was there. They said no.
I asked for help. A woman said something that didn't seem helpful or useful, I don't remember what.
A serious looking business woman gave me a card and told me to call her. I asked if she meant in waking life or in the dream.

Then I lost lucidity. I thought I was high. I felt very horny. I sat next to N, who was sewing. I tried not to do anything inappropriate. There were lots of ladies sewing and also eating. It was Thanksgiving.

I have now had a lucid dream three days in a row. It's a new record for me.
I am going to change my lucid dream goal for awhile, maybe until I get better at doing other things, before I try finding Sheila again.

Non-lucid Lucid

Jan. 22, '11: I tried the same breathing and relaxing method as the night before. I didn't get as close to consciously falling asleep as last night, but I did feel myself slip closer to sleep a couple of times.

Dreams: I was on a school bus. I had to climb over folded seats to get out. The door was very narrow and I barely fit through. I wondered how bigger people fit through it.
Outside the bus, there were lots of young people, possibly teenagers or college students. I jumped on a car and rocked it up and down.
I knew I was dreaming. Although I probably wasn't fully conscious. I was carrying some books or something. I threw them far away, toward some trees on a hill. The objects flew and vanished, with magic.
Then I jumped into the air and dived toward the ground. My hands went into the ground, without breaking the dirt. I could feel the soil even though my hands were nonphysical.
I walked around a bit. I was chewing on something. It was kind of gross and I wanted to spit it out.
I woke slightly and the scene changed.

I was in my grandparents' house (father's side), at a big table. I was still lucid, but my limbs were numb and hard to move.

A separate dream, no longer lucid: I was in college, a new semester, sitting in a computer lab. A class started. I had another class to go to. I got up and walked to the door to leave, but I had forgotten my soda and my shoes. There was a small fridge under the computer. I walked back to the computer, in front of the teacher to get my things.

Another dream: I was outside. It was dark. We passed a parked vehicle. Eddie pointed out a grasshopper on the vehicle, knowing that I don't like them. I mostly ignored him, saying I had seen it earlier. Then he threw the grasshopper at me and I woke up. I grumbled and said "little shit..."

Non-lucid Lucid

January 21, '11: Early this morning I tried falling asleep consciously by using a breathing method, focusing on my breathing, relaxing further with each exhale, and waiting a second before inhaling again.
I had a short dream about a guy with baby ducks in a cage. Some of them had died, and one was dying.
I woke up again, still focused on my breathing. I felt my body begin to fall asleep But I must have gotten too excited and woke up. A few minutes later it happened again, with the same results.

Then I fell asleep and started dreaming.
I was in church (dream sign), hiding in the bathroom. I went outside and started flying (another dream sign). I then knew I was dreaming. I saw someone I recognized getting into his car as I flew overhead. He then drove away. I might have scared him.
As I flew, I noticed the beautiful scenery. but my vision was partially obscured, as if by a hat or hoody. I attempted to stabilize the dream.
I remembered that I wanted to find Sheila. It took a few seconds to stop flying. I landed horizontally on a flat, metal statue, and started walking around on the ground. There were several houses around me.
I called out for Sheila, saying that she would appear because I wanted her to. I was going to check in one of the houses for her. But I found a family of ducks. I asked if one of them was Sheila (I don't know why). A male duck attacked me. I grabbed it by the neck. I'm not sure if I killed it.
I lost lucidity.
Then I was naked, sitting on a children's playground thing. There were several people around. I went down some concrete stairs, still naked. A man walking a dog went by in the other direction. I saw a homeless person sleeping. There were several towels hanging up. I took one to cover myself. But the man showed up again and said the towel had some kind of STD, so I didn't want it to touch my genitals. I dropped the towel, but then I thought my hands were probably dirty.
A crazy old lady started following me. Soon after that I woke up.

Dream fragment: Some people were playing a game to see who had the most keys in their pocket. They were aware that it was a dream and so they could control how many keys they had. This is the second time I remember people playing a conscious dream game. In the other one, I was also lucid and playing the game. We would say the name of a loud noise, and then we would hear it.

Notes on today's lucid dream: Obviously I need to change my method of finding Sheila, or change my lucid dream goal to something else. Rather than looking for her, I could concentrate on focusing my intent to see her.

Non-lucid Lucid
January 16, 2011:
I went to bed around 2:00am. Before going to sleep I reviewed the day's events in reverse. I woke up around 6:35am, and put a ring on my left hand. As I was going back to sleep, I repeated the mantra "I will lucid dream," in a singing chant (in my head, obviously). I fell asleep on my back, became lucid in a dream and had a series of three or four lucid dreams. I woke again at 7:05am

I was in a store that had lots of xmas decorations, trees and stuff. I went into a room with an office desk. I heard someone at the desk, but I could not see him.
I picked up a bottle off the desk and I knew I was dreaming as I hit the edge of the desk several times with the bottle. The room was dark and it was hard to see. I said I wanted more vividness, and said "give me light!" but it didn't work.
Then I woke slightly and felt vibrations. I entered another dream.
I was in bed with N. I got up and walked around the room. It was still dark. I said I wanted more vividness, but it didn't seem to work. Then I had a little sex with N.
I woke slightly again and entered a dream again.
I remembered to look for Sheila. I saw a door and said that she would be on the other side of it. But she wasn't. I saw a corner and said she would be around the corner, but again she wasn't. I was getting upset that it wasn't working.
Then I saw a female face, part of a painting or statue at first. She was a solid greyish color. I grabbed the woman and tried to make her turn into Sheila, with no success.
Then I saw Sheila sitting at a table in a diner, facing away from me. The first girl became annoyed and angry. I tried to make her go away and tried to remove her consciousness.
I approached Sheila and said her name. She turned and smiled at me. Her face was painted blue, with stripes and designs. I said she looked cool. We might have kissed, I'm not sure now.
The other girl was still there. She and Sheila kissed. The first girl was not angry anymore.
Then I must have lost lucidity and Sheila turned into a cat. I put her in a bag or a large purse.

My goal had been to find Sheila and ask her to find me in non-lucid dreams to tell me that I am dreaming. I was only half successful.

January 9, 2011, Sunday,
Non-lucid Lucid

While doing my own technique to stay conscious while falling asleep, and strengthening my intention to lucid dream, it took me a long time to fall asleep. When I finally did get to sleep, I had a short lucid dream. It's my second one, two days in a row.

I was outside. I tried "deepening," or increasing my lucidity and the stability of the dream by rubbing my hands and my body. I found a big tree that I touched and started to climb a little.
Then I saw a Taco Bell in the distance and decided that Sheila was inside it. To save time, I closed my eyes and spun, to get to the entrance quickly. But I accidentally ended up somewhere else, and then I woke up.

I was unsuccessful at re-entering the lucid dream.

Notes:
Instead of closing my eyes and spinning to move closer to the Taco Bell, I should have tried focusing on a close detail of the building, like the door. This possibly would have prevented accidentally going somewhere completely different. I'm not sure why I suddenly woke up or why I couldn't re-enter the dream again (usually this isn't a problem for me). Perhaps there were too many distractions today.

January 8, 2011, Saturday,
non-lucid lucid

I was lying on my back while I imagined moving and stretching my arms out to a distant focal point, grabbing at it, and pulling it back towards me. As I did this, I strengthened my intent to have a lucid dream.
I felt myself get close to sleep. Eventually I rolled over onto my side and continued the imagined movement.

I entered a conscious dream. Still in bed, N got in bed with me. We cuddled for a bit and possibly had sex. Then N became angry with me and I lost lucidity for a while. we were in a hotel. She turned into a cat. Girls turn into cats a lot in my dreams.

I regained lucidity and started running around, yelling Sheila's name so she would appear. Sheila is a girl I have met a few times in previous lucid dreams. I went into my sister's room, in our old house we grew up in. I shouted for Sheila. I heard someone say "here I am." But it was B, not Sheila, and I said so.
At first I went along with it. I sat her down in front of a mirror to make her Sheila. She seemed really nervous, like she didn't want to be there. I suggested we have sex, like that would help somehow, but she didn't want to. It's just as well, too, because I wouldn't have wanted to get too distracted by sex and not at least try to achieve a goal.

I picked her up, carried her to the door, and tossed her out, closing the door again.
Then I went into the living room, still calling out for Sheila, and saying that I wanted to see her. There were other people in the living room, on the couches.
The phone rang and I picked it up, asking if it were Sheila. There was just noise. It was kind of scary.

Then I sort of gave up and remembered an easier lucid dream goal. I slowly put my hand through the stone wall, next to the fireplace. It was rough, and hurt a little when I pulled my hand out. A guy was watching. I said to him that I could have made it smoother. Then my leg was stuck in the stone ledge and I couldn't get it out, and I woke up.

Notes:
What did I do wrong? I was very intent on finding Sheila, almost obsessed with it. I expected her to show up, but was not successful.
Perhaps I was not certain enough that she would be there, and I still had doubts about my abilities. Maybe I was not calm enough. I should have had calm confidence. It might have helped if I performed some exercises in the dream to become more fully lucid.

I had my first lucid dream of the year on the first day of the year. It wasn't a great one, but any lucid dream is better than none.

January 1, 2011: First, I was in a non-lucid dream, waiting in a long line to use a pay phone. Some guy in line picked up a piece of broken glass and tried to stab me with it. I grabbed his arm and we struggled.
Then I woke up, but I didn't move. I felt vibrations and eventually entered a new dream. But I couldn't see. I sat up and moved around in the dark and tried to open my eyes, but it just made me return to my physical body (wake slightly).
I entered another conscious dream. I tried to fly, but gravity felt real. I put my hands on a table and sort of pushed with my hands and jumped at the same time. I pinched my nose to see if I was actually dreaming. I could still breath. Then I floated off the ground with no effort.
The scene changed. I was walking through a house, pushing doors open to walk through them, even though I was pretending to be a ghost. I went into a bedroom where I scared several cats. It sort of scared myself too and I woke up.

A later non-lucid dream on the same night was very interesting, I thought.
I was in a church building (I stopped going to church in waking life years ago), people there were arguing about whether or not to write another part to the Bible (a New New Testament?).
There was a large plug hanging from the wall. Part of it started glowing red, indicating that it was time to write the new holy book. The guy who was going to do it had left. The plug was glowing even more when I picked it up.
Suddenly I lost control of my arms. I lifted the plug over my head and put it into the back of my head.
I felt a strong rush of energy go through me and I woke up, thinking it was like going into another plain of existence.

I thought I should return to the dream to write about it, but I couldn't.