side notes

my recall has been the worst this week.


Jamie Dreams

One dream where I saw her in some house. she said ,"Hello." to me and smiled. For some reason I built a ramp over her and a wall behind her like infortnite. Okay, not sure why I did that.

Second dream, I wam watching myself sending her another message. Not sure of the context of this, if in the dream we are talking now or what?

Third dream. she's sitting on my bed looking down on me and smiling with warmth. She says, "Robert I love you." Likewise.

Other dreams

A bunch of fragments about the netflix series Dark. ( I binge watched the entire second season yesterday). In one dream i am with a woman from the show and we are exploring buildings looking for something. Another dream had to do with Mikkel.

What?

A dream of Jamie's voice or, The Voice. Telling me she's upset at something I'm doing online IRL... Not sure how she would know that. I'm always cautious of the voice. Is it a familiar spirit repeating her thoughts to me and mixing it up with lies? Or does she really sense what I'm thinking or doing?Hard to say, but if you wanna call the shots in my life, you kinda gotta be in it you know.

crazy

I was on top of a building overlooking a scene. there was a hole with a building over it like in the show: LOST. Something exploded inside and I saw a bunch of metal getting pulled in. The building collapsed and got sucked up. Next random cars were getting magnetically pulled in. The town nearby was in a panic and I saw military pulling into the town. People were saying it was an excuse to bring in martial law.

Creepy guy

I was walking through a huge shopping building with my dog. I was heading outside when a blond man approached me. He said we had to take my dog somewhere safe or something and he was offering a ride. I said, "NO," He kept insisting. I kept refusing and he started getting angry. I mentioned to the people walking near us that this guy had an agenda or something. Two guys with him insisted that he was okay. I didn't buy it and kept ranting as I was walking away. He kept following but backed off when some women walking by came to my defence. Last part of the dream is driving away and seeing a bunch of tornadoes in the distance.

Trouble sleeping. Mind going haywire again

Searching

I go to look for Jamie but she's in a different town. I go there and she's in this dream where she's living a different life as some skater teen or something. She's too cool to even acknowledge I'm there. she takes off somewhere and I was going to look for her But I get caught up in other dream characters and their story line.

fortdumb

I keep dreaming of fortnite a lot where I keep getting wins. IRL I really suck at the game.

Not again

A dream audio only. A woman is saying like a newscaster that Jamie took her own life... Please no more dreams like this.

Wow is this site dying?

Time travel?

Me, Jamie, Asuka and Data enter one of those dream movies or something that Me and Asuka watch where we go right into the screen and participate in the scenario. The movie seems to be about Jamie. We apparently travel into Jamie's past to save her from certain things that would cause her to make bad decisions or something. She looks in her teens again like from the lucid where I found her. she's wearing the white shirt she used to wear under her work vest from when i worked with her. Jamie says to me in the middle of this, "You're saving me, are we going to get married?" and smiles. Well yes, if I have to. Might wanna really talk about this to me first.

Strange fight

Just remember I was in some downtown marketplace or something and got into a fight with some guy. He pulled out some circle thing like from doctor strange or something. It was a portal to himself from other dimensions. So if you punched him, he would deflect with the circle thing but himself from another dimension would block the punch or take the hit. He kept saying I was never going to win because I was fighting all of him from all dimensions.

Bus

Dreamed I was on a bus or something. Jamie was in the back with my cousin. they seemed to be ignoring me. I was sitting near the front arguing with some bald woman who was being really mean.

My recall is still pretty low.

Jamie Dreams

First one is a flash of Jamie standing in front of me wearing a wedding dress, she is smiling. We're getting married? Okay, these dreams are really out there now.

The next few dreams mainly consisted of me trying to visit Jamie but she wasn't available and/or was avoiding me. Definitely a pattern here. Even when I knew her this was her: Wanting to get closer. I say: yes, okay. She: Backs off. Gets closer next time. Asks for more. I say: okay. She: backs off again. Wash rinse repeat. I think this is to be expected by now.

Next I have a dream where I confront her. I remind her of how she would say things that highly indicated she really liked me/ felt close to me. But then would cover up a moment later and down play it. the most comical being she was suggesting sending me a picture, you know the kind long distance couples might send. Then after a long pause for what must have been a full minute or so. She says, "Well a PG version anyway." Still waiting on that one BTW. And after so long She better send the full version . Kidding.

Anyway what she said back to me in the dream was really disturbing. "Well, I was just messing with you because it was funny." Um wait. What? Is it really necessary to say such a thing? I almost believe her. But then i remember When I spoke to her last in person and said, "I'm really gonna miss you," She looked like she was hit in the stomach, almost fell over and said something quietly that i barely even heard, "I'm gonna miss you too." Followed by a cover up a few seconds later as if she had said nothing at all. Yeah, who does she think She is fooling? That looked like it hit her pretty hard too.

Next day: First, I have dream where she apologizes for saying that. She's almost crying, her face in a weird smile, or more like a grimace of pain. I always forgive of course. Next dream is us just laying in bed cuddling
. Maybe a second one like that.

But how would she know over the span of a few days that she said that? I never posted dreams until now. So how would she know? I remember I once had a dream where she was talking to voices in her head that sounded like me. Does she really do that? I do. And this weekend we argued a lot. I really should have my head checked I think. I mean how deep does this rabbit hole go? I've linked the voice directly to my dreams, and also her doings directly to my dreams. so either it's actually her sometimes, or... Familiar spirits, (demons) that sometimes repeat what she is saying to herself. I dunno. I wish I had answers... If they are demons. They REALLY have her personality down.

Val

I'm working with Val, The lesbian. She asks me if she is the kind of girl I would marry. I say, "Yes." she looks really offended at that. Then why ask? When I said ,"yes," i mean the type of person not their orientation.

Death Squad

I'm in a gymnasium with a crowd of people. Some blond guy in his early 20's is being voted to be put to death. The vote goes through. I go hide in another room somewhere as they take him outside and shoot him because I don't want to see it.

also why am I getting ads for women's lingerie on DV?

Well this week or months. have been bad for recall. Can't recall many of my longer non lucids because they weren't interesting enough to hold in my memory. Should I start taking notes again?

Jamie dreams

First one is: I dream Jamie started her own psychic webpage as a call psychic. While I am a christian and I don't agree with this. Since I probably gave her the ideas please send me royalties!!!

Most of these dreams were like hypnagogic imagery while falling asleep.

second one is she is holding my chin and kisses me.

In one dream I am on the fortnite map and hanging with some blond girl. Her energy completely blocks out Jamie's and overtakes it completely. I am dumbstruck since no one can steal Jamie's thunder.

Then I have one where I am reading the message I sent her... I find I can't send anymore messages. she has me on block or something. But her profile picture changes.. twice. I feel intensely rejected in this dream.

Another where I am trying to find her but she avoids me at every turn.

In the last one she seems to have gotten over her mood or whatever it was. We are in a fortnite game on opposing teams. but we decide to team up anyway. just me and Her. Our energy seems drawn to one another no matter what. We just walk alone on a hill somewhere quietly.

Jesus has been strangely quiet in these past few weeks.

Wrong house

I walk into some youtuber's house. his and his girlfriend are mad that I'm just there. He just yells at me to leave.

Arguing

Had this right after the other dream. Same scenario. But I'm in a house arguing with my distant uncle and his wife. They really hate me and keep asking me to leave. At one point the woman asks, "Tell me about the gospel." but it descends into another argument and I leave.

Jamie dreams are swingy.

Walking.

In this dream we are walking to a 711 or something. the ground is covered in snow. That's all I remember.

Scary

In this dream I just see Jamie talking to herself. Just repeating, "Don't do it. Don't do it." Over and over again. Not sure why or over who or what.

Really?

Just and audio one while I'll falling asleep. I clearly heard, "I love you."

Quiet

I find Jamie in an attic. She won't look at me or talk to me. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. She vanishes somewhere so me and some friends go everywhere trying to look for her. I have an uneasy feeling the whole time.

cruising

another good dream where me and Jamie are just cruising around in her car. wish I remembered more on this one.

H

Walking around with a girl I used to dream about way too many years ago. True story: I had this dream where I was flying up around her, and she asked, "how do you do that?" I said <"Just flap your arms and float up." A fe days later I see her IRL and she goes up to me all excited and says she's been having these silly dreams where she flies by flapping her arms.

In the dream we start at a house. I am trying on some clothes when I realize I have 3 shirts on. And it's hot out. so I go down to one shirt. Me and H leave. We wind up in some jungle. We came across a swamp after all these trails. But we both had different ways to cross it. That's all I remember.

Mainly short dreams.

legs

I'm on my bed and some girl is on it. She's all ready for... um, yeah.

Sushi

I'm at some mall with my brother and I decide to go to the food court and order sushi. that's it.

Jamie 1

This was a quick one I had one the bus. It was a birds eye view of Jamie, but I was also Jamie in this dream. She feels kind of burdened also somber. She is filled with blue energy. Now in the Jesus dream where me and her are on the hill. where Jesus' arm goes through our backs, Blue energy comes from me, and Red energy comes from Jamie. Now she has blue energy. Not sure what this means.

Fortnite.

Okay really. I haven't even played this game much lately. But anyway, Me and my brother are in the backyard of my inner world house. We are by a pond or pool in a back porch area. there's TVs set up with video games. My brother wants to play fortnite for some reason. I try to play with him. I find an old controller but it has mad stick drift, it makes the game unplayable.

Had another fortnite dream. In it I am one of the creators and we are testing out something. In this dream there are things floating in the sky like on Apex. We are all talking about technical shit I don't understand. IRL season 9 drops... and guess what. Now there are floating things in fortnite in the sky. Precog dream? What a useless gift to have. I want precog dreams that predict lottery numbers and cards to play for poker. what the hell is this?

A few months ago I had a dream that Pewdiepie, decided to play fortnite. A week or so later, IRL he plays fortnite once on a livestream to fight T-Series.

Jesus again

Just a dream of Jesus showing me the door out of his office. I guess he's tired of me bugging him about the same thing...

Jamie again.

In this dream Jamie comes to live with me. I get home from work, or we both do. I lay down a bit and can't sleep. I get up and decide to have a quick smoke. I open the sliding closet in my room and get my jacket. Jamie is behind me and she grabs hers as well. I say to her that she doesn't have to go for a smoke everytime I do. I keep saying things like, Honey, and Sweetie, I wonder if this talk annoys her. She says she wants to. I realize I should just let her. suddenly she is replaced by my brother, and it's like it's been him all along. The house is different now. I wonder when he is going to leave since he doesn't have a job.

I have other dreams where my brother is everywhere. He follows me around everywhere. It's like I can't do anything without him. It's so annoying. I wake up and wonder if some strange force is now making me perceive Jamie in dreams as my brother. Like family. Wouldn't be as annoying if it was Jamie.

Semi Lucid

Become lucid wandering in some house. There are some boxes everywhere. they are all white and every size you can imagine. I open one box and it takes me into another room that looks like the same house. The rest of it is foggy but I'm basically finding more hidden rooms which lead to different houses with more hidden rooms etc.

Oh no

I'm flying above drumheller with Jamie. Some force hits me from behind and I launch right into a rocky foothill. My mouth is bloody and full of sand.

Thank you

First as I'm falling asleep, I see Jesus in profile. He looks different in almost every dream. I remember in one he was actually a black man.

suddenly I'm in a dark room sitting on a chair in front of a screen, like a laptop or a TV. There is an electronic device under my hand. It could be a touch screen phone or a mouse. I feel another hand go over that hand I look to my right and it's Jamie. She's smiling and is warm. She nods and we both push the button on the device. She then goes and pulls out a Rolodex or something. My impression is that these are memory files she then has to sort through.

Days later while awake I decided to finish another message to her. Being more thorough this time. I spend hours typing, revising, deleting and rewriting. I fit it down to the 20,000 character limit that facebook messaging allows. Although there is so much more to say. I'm nervous as hell, take my dog for too many walks and smoke like crazy. when I am satisfied with my composition. i paste it all into the message box. go out smoke again go for another walk. go back to it. I have my hand over the mouse almost deciding again not to send. I then remember the dream, Jamie's hand over mine. We were pushing the send button together. Then going through memory files? are we finally going to compare notes? I click: send.

Random dreams

Lots of dreams of just wandering abandoned places. Thought I could recall more may post more of these later.

Jamie Dreams

Despite there seemingly being a lot. the periods between them are getting longer.

In one dream I see a single HH image of Jamie with something around her neck. A crucifix chain? or a charm? she kisses it.

In another dream we are watching Jesus get persecuted in Jerusalem and get hung on the cross. Jamie is crying about it as are some others in the crowd.

In one dream We are in her car at night. I'm living in some apartment building. We start kissing. IT's nice, but after a while she stops me. "That first part was REALLY good," she says. She then tells me that she wasn't feeling the later part. I ask her to elaborate. She wasn't clear on the instructions. and I was getting frustrated. We get into an argument about it and she leaves. I go into my apartment and look at the spot where we were just parked. I replay the scene over in my mind something like a hundred times. Trying to pinpoint where I went wrong. If I did anything wrong.

Dream I am on the hill with Jamie again. Jesus has his hands in our backs. We are closer to the top of the hill now. He is trying to make us face one another. We are both connected through him it feels. He earnestly tells us both. "Now I want you two to come together." Not later or soon. He wants us to do something NOW. But I'm not sure because I don't like messaging her or reaching out to her and she doesn't respond. She made it clear in other dreams that there wasn't anything I could do. That she might try and reach out when she is right with herself or something. I have to try and respect that.

The same day: Checkers again.. This time she says to me, "I love you." I believe it this time. It's not like when she told me this before floating in the dybbuk and seemed drunk on something. This seems more sincere.

another dream I had of Jamie. There was a long week or so where i didn't recall her at all. I was getting a little frustrated so she showed up in a dream where we were just exploring an abandoned building. Don't recall what we did. but it's like she sensed my frustration and showed up to show me she is still around.

These few weeks have been pretty boring in the dream department.


Building.

Vague dream of walking in some large building with Jamie. She suddenly vanishes before my eyes as if she woke up from the dream.


The Dork Tower

I become Semi lucid while on a western style landscape. The entire dream is of a blue hue. I'm semi lucid. Don't know it's a dream but I know That I'm in a story. I fly up to a few people walking along a path. With them is a tall Gunslinger. He doesn't quite look like roland but I seem to think he is anyway. I get excited and say, "Are we looking for the Dark tower?" the man doesn't answer but suddenly looks frightened, as if the Idea of the Dark Tower and seeking it, is insane. The others look at me in terror. The dream speeds up and suddenly we are in a living room. but also entering a cave that will transport us to the dark tower. As I enter the cave with the others I am also in the living room with Asuka and others and we are try to fit behind an entertainment center. Maybe this was one of the movies that Me and Asuka jump into?

Talkers

I am in a scenario like in the latest season of ,"Z Nation." I am in a settling with some people. Half of them are Zombies. But these Zombies are self aware and can talk. Everyone calls them: Talkers. I am extremely paranoid of the talkers. They seem nice and well meaning but it feels like they will try to kill me and make me one of them. I am wandering alone in a house when I run into... Robyn? The girl who hosts karaoke in lethbridge. She tells me she saw my movie about her? Her voice sounds like Jamie. Robyn looks nothing like Jamie so I am extremely confused. I go, "yeah I know you're subscribed to my channel." Which I know robyn is. That's all I remember.

A week or so goes by. Can't recall Jamie at all. It concerns me a little. I guess I am too use to them by now.

Chase.

Me, Asuka and Data, chase Jamie all over different dreamscapes. She never looks like herself. She also seems a bit crazy like in the previous entry. In one dream She is a giant black guy and we chase her all over a nightclub. In another she's a mad scientist and we chase her all over some big underground lab. This may explain why she was so hard to recall.


Jesus again

In this dream it is night time. I am alone in a park. I am really young in this dream like a child. Jesus comes over a hill with a little girl holding his hand. the girl is Jamie and she is also a child in this dream. It's like Jesus is her father and He is bringing Her to me. I say to him like an excited kid on Christmas or something, "Is this the girl you chose for me?" Reminds me of when Jamie would hang out and sometimes and at times it's like we would regress to children. Her voice would even sound like a child's and that's when you knew that things were going really well.

Building again.

Another dream of just exploring some building with jamie. We don't really talk but just seem more interested in exploring the place. We eventually split up.

I just realized I haven't had any lucids for a LOOONG time!

Jamie dreams

She's off an on again as usual. No surprise here so I'm use to it.

Started off I had another dream where we are just laying down main;y asleep. Very Comfortable dream.

Later dreams something happens to her. Jamie starts talking to me as a disembodied voice in my dreams. In these dreams I run through random buildings looking for a way out. The voice says she hates me and that she never was "real." She's not really Jamie but a spirit who wants my love and dedication anyway.

I go and check on Jamie in a dream. In it we are playing fortnite and we are hiding under a pyramid build. She keeps smiling at me. I am happy.

In later dreams I keep finding Jamie in a fortnite setting. But now she's angry and mean like the voice. I have a few dreams with low detail like this. I keep finding her and she keeps killing me causing me to respawn. Every time she kills me she says something mean. Then she's a sweaty soccer skin (The worst kind of player in fortnite.) She builds up so high and kills me again.

After a few days of this. I pray about it earnestly...

Jesus helps

I fall asleep and am shown a few HH like images. The first is me and Jamie in fortnite again. We are having a build battle. Our ramps are about to cross when Jesus places himself on top as a giant. He heals us. Another image shows me and Jamie on a hill. The top of the hill is the intended destination: where we come together. Jesus is a giant again. he has a hand around each of us on opposite sides. Jesus is crying in frustration because he is clearly trying to bring us to the top of the hill. But since he can't interfere with free will, he can't complete his work with us. My energy was blue and bright in his hand and Jamies was fiery red. One thing to note is that we were very close to the top of the hill.

Jamie is healed again

I'm on some date with Jamie. We are at a restaraunt like Denny's. She is smiling and seems happy. Can't remember any conversation but we were talking. Denny's is a magical place!

later had some HH of Jamie's face.

Other dreams:

Cheating again.

during the period where Jamie seemed possessed by something I had a dream where I was in bed with someone who looked like Jamie. There was another naked guy laying beside me... gross.

Dad

I was walking with my dad in some abandoned building or something. My old friend from work lets us into a secret area up some steps. through the door at the top we almost fall. the inside of the buuilding is being torn down by construction people so there is no landing to walk into. I float down somehow without getting hurt.

Bjork returns!

In this dream I find out Bjork recently read all of my old dreams of her. Oops. I am extremely embarrased. Bjork doesn't take it too well at first. This dream seems days long. But she builds herself a studio in the basement of some mall or something. She holes herself up in there to deal with it. She records music, builds strange art structures, and makes really interesting clothing for herself. She sometimes lets me into the studio to show me. she tells me she isn't mad but is trying to figure it out or something. She has mood swings, sometimes happy I am around and sometimes shooing me out. The end of the dream is more clear. My brother is a huge Bjork fan so I bring him there. We come to an office where a reception lady tells me that the exhibit is closed. I say I will wait for Bjork to come out. As if on cue, bjork leaves with some man. she walks past me and doesn't even look at me. Her vibes are kind of fuming though. me and my brother leave and some black girls in the mall part try to take him home. He leaves and I can't leave the mall becaus I can't find my shoes.

in a later dream she seems more cool with everything and we just sit and talk warmly.

I forgot a lot of non lucids. I'll try to remember some as I write these down.

Jamie Dreams

Early in the month.

3rd person view dream of Jamie sitting by herself in a real comfy looking chair. She appears to be arguing with herself. But then I hear she is talking to voices. The closer I listen the more the voices sound like me. Some are negative and some are positive. She seems annoyed in upset. I try to get through, "This is MY voice." I say something like that. But all the voices argue I am a liar and they are the real voice. While I find her kind of adorable arguing with all of these voices, I know personally how annoying this can be *please lock me up.*

In one dream I am in a bedroom with Jamie. I lie down like we are like a couple going to bed. She looks at me and says, "No." In another dream I find some ugly woman with glasses and decide to try to sleep with her. I hear Jamie's voice in my head say, "Robert no!." Is that what you you wanted, can't have you AND no one else? kidding.

In one dream I am with my dad and we are walking around a city. We go up some steps to a c train platform where my dead grandma from 2010 is. She says to me, "I hope you know what you are doing with this girl." Implying that she doesn't like Jamie. At the top of the step I kind of victory jump. It's like my grandma is a part of those annoying spirits who are telling me to ,"Move on." from Jamie, are finally giving up.

After about a week or so of Jamie not showing up in dreams I then remember one of her where I am trying to light a smoke. My lighter isn't working. Jamie comes up with her own lighter but can't get hers to work as either.Hehe she's trying to steal chelsea's thunder of dream cigarette lighting capabilities. Well: YOU FAILED!!! Really appreciate the effort tho :-)

Some dream where Jamie isn't talking to me and driving away in her car. I'm standing with a woman, maybe her mother, She says, "She really likes you, you know." Really? Why isn't she saying anything?

Another dream where me and Jamie are driving in her car. It's like the old dreams from last year. Can't remember the context of the conversation but she says, "Suicide is never an option." WOW. She's come a long way since the , "Let's commit suicide together," Dreams of mid last year. Good job. Was I being suicidal in the dream? I know I'm not, but I may have been being overdramatic in the dream.

A dream where Jamie is merged with my body or something. Might have been because I was watching a really dumb show on netflix called, "Z Nation." a Walking Dead like zombie tv series that doesn't take itself seriously at all. Unlike the Walking Dead which Is why I can't stand it. Anyway in the episode some Hippy dude takes weird drugs so he can spirit walk inside someone and take control of their body. Maybe I saw Jamie in the dream and asked her to try it out. She kept trying to make me aroused in my own body, maybe to experience the sensation for herself. I get to the point where I almost burst and then ask her to stop. she does.

Got back from seeing Alita: Battle Angel (Loved it by the way.) But after seeing it with my brother I had dreams about it. But it was Jamie. She was trying to put herself in a cyborg body like from the movie. The nurse lady from the movie was there and was saying that the body was having trouble merging with the body because she had no core... Very Strange. I know Jamie had once tried to convince me that she has BPD. and I've read that such people are said to lack a certain emotional center or core. not sure if that's what the nurse meant though. Interesting.


Last dream. Was just me and Jamie lying in bed going to sleep. We may have been groping each other not sure... But, seems she is getting over whatever it was that was bothering her.

Comments: This periods' dreams Jamie seems less happy than the end of december and january. Not sure what the cause of this is. She is resuming some of her affection though which I appreciate. That says it isn't me that's a problem. but she is having problems on her own that she is dealing with.



Other Dreams

Bunch of non lucids where a short blonde girl sometimes with long hair and sometimes with short hair keeps hitting on me. In one dream she makes out with me. these came after me and my brother went to a short concert in calgary where I kept seeing cute blond girls. Some were staring at me and smiling but they were all with guys, so I didn't think anything of it.

Kissing

Dreamed I was exploring some large building with some dark skinned girl. We wound up in a bedroom and started kissing on a bed. She tasted kind of sour, (IRL I have a slight cold so was just probably tasting my phlegm,) I suddenly Had this feeling like I was cheating on someone possibly Jamie. I stopped for a second but the girl looked at me with such wanting eyes that I resumed and tried to ignore the feeling. As if to stop it a bunch of guys manifested in the room on beds. They had donut boxes with treats in them and they started arguing with me. The girl left the room.

Yelling

I kept accusing some girl in my inner world, (Mine and Asuka's daughter i think.) of stealing my DVDs or something. I was filled with rage. Asuka said it wasn't the girl but she has no idea where the DVDs went. I checked the boxes again and they had a volume missing.

*clap* BONUS DREAM *clap*

This one I had a couple months ago. A dream with Jamie I forgot to write down. In this dream we are in The Dark Tower universe in Hambry. Me and Jamie are walking around the town and she is making fun of the accent of the townspeople. She's saying, "So it is," and ,"So it was." Then she laughs to herself.

Harry Potter?

Haven't had a HP dream for a while. This one I'm on the back of a dragon following Harry who is also on a dragon that is Voldermort. Harry Jumps off the dragon mid air and throws something on the dragon's back. It looks like food. Harry floats down to the ground by himself. The dragon rolls whatever Harry through down it's back and flips it's tail up causing the object to float a bit and then the dragon eats it. The dragon then loses it's form and turns into voldermort on the ground. I'm following close behind them on a field. I see someone near the field pull up grass and it turns out all the grass is a fake plastic mesh sheet and he begins pulling it up. I keep watching Harry go up to Voldermort and they finally face eachother. They are about to duel when I wake up.

Jamie is quiet

Just a dream of sitting with Jamie on some steps. she is quiet and not talking but I have my arm around her.

Not this again.
Okay, before I started logging dreams again I did have a couple where I was working at Wal Mart again and Jamie was there, but was dissociating around me. These were extremely uncomfortable dreams. In this dream I am workign there and see her and say, "Hi," to her. She looks startled and uncomfortable, then makes an exit quickly. One of my mcdonald's co workers is there Chris. I start talking to him for a bit and the dream fades.

Steps again

I see Jamie on the steps again. She is totally quiet and not looking at me. I ask her a few questions or something and she doesn't respond. Just seems to ignore me. I ask her if she wants me to leave her alone for a while. She looks concerned about that and then pulls me close into a really tight hug. It feels nice. I guess that's a ,"no."

Had a lucid somewhere but forgot it.

No.

Had a dream I was in the fortnite game in fatal fields With roland from the Dark tower. Heis frantically searching for a gun. Dara emmerges from the house and hands him a gun. She says she made it herself. The gun looks like it's made of pipes made from under taps. Roland draws it so quickly that I can't almost see and shoots a bush. The bush explodes as if it were in game. I think it's cool. I ask Dara if I can have a similar gun. We walk into the house and she shows me how to make one. What's she doing back in my dreams...

Here is a Jamie dream I forgot to add to last entry.

Voyager

Me and Jamie are wandering around Voyager from the TV show. We are in a turbo lift but only a small window opens. Janeway is on the other side. She is nice and talks to us but tells us to go around. the turbo lift goes down and we wind up in some construction area. We find staircases and go up them and wind up in the mess hall, where there is an alien race of Jocks or something. Me and Jamie just find a seat and wait and that's all I remember.


More recent.

Laundry room.

Asuka makes me do laundry and for a joke, she is playing a song by nirvana about being in a laundry room. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zknlwXuGJUg I was kind of annoyed because I hadn't heard the song in a decade. Jamie comes up behind me and I didn't notice she was there. she says, "What song is this?" she was asking in the same tone of when I played guitar for her and she kept asking ,"Who's this by? Are you making that up?"

Voices

I am with Jamie but she seems angry. There is a semi-invisible demonic creature on her shoulder whispering in her ear. He lustfully whispers to her. "negative thoughts, negative thoughts, negative thoughts..." She doesn't seem aware of it at all. "I hate you!" she says looking at me.

Annoying guide.

Some tall guy with glasses comes into my inner world. He says,"You need to let her go." implying Jamie? Fuck no.

Church

With Jamie feeling better we both go to a church to seek Jesus out for some help. He is not there. But we sit down anyway on a pugh. It turns into a bed with blankets and we both fall asleep on it.

Chelsea

I'm on facebook and C has a post I like or something and when I comment on it. Jamie comes out of the computer and says, "I don't want you talking to this girl." I try to explain she's only a friend and she's already with someone. I think jamie calmed down. I'm not sure.



Thumbnail confusion.

Jamie makes me look at her profile picture on facebook. She changes the picture to her and some guy giving me the middle finger. Maybe my brother because one of my first entries with Jamie I am in a parking lot giving her and my brother the middle finger as they walk by and aignore me. I've noticed that a lot of recent Jamie dreams seem to reflect my early ones. Like in one entry I am missing jamie by a balcony and thinking about having a smoke with her. And recently she's explaining things to me while we are both on a balcony smoking.
Interesting.

In another dream she is looking at my youtube channel and I have thumbnails with a purple background. Recently while awake I checked our old facebook messages and she indeed changed her picture with a purple background. Very Strange...

Jamie explains.

I'm in some high rise apartment building at night. It reminds me of Tilted Towers from fortnite. I am chasing some people or something when I notice Jamie on an outside landing. She's wearing a mcdonald's manager uniform and for a second I think it's Emily from mcdonald's. but when she starts talking I recognise Jamie. She keeps explaining that she wants to start having real conversations or contact someday, but she needs to sort out some things in her life first. but she does have the desire. I ask, "Do you remember dreams about me when awake?" "Yes, I remember kisses" I'm thinking back to something short I left out last month. where I was nodding off on a bus and fell asleep for a split second and for a short second jamie kissed me. I ask if there's anything I can do (ahould I message her again)" She says no, In fact no one should feel pressured to make contact or send messages. I agree to that.


Short lucid

I become lucid in a room. Some east indian girl is there and I spend most of the lucid trying to convince her it's a dream. She keeps saying, "No,No, that's not real don't talk about that."

More demons

I'm with Jamie at my house and she starts yelling at me. "Don't touch me." Asuka runs and looks at her. "She has another creature on her." Asuka says and pulls the creature off jamie that I couldn't even see until she grabs it. Then Asuka throws it outside. Asuka does something to heal Jamie for a bit. Jamie grabs my hand and says, "Do you want to hold hands?" and smiles. Me and Asuka just laugh at her, in a good way.

Boring

I'm wandering a large store like Canadian Tire or something. But the place has all been re arranged. I wander to an outside area where a bunch of farm animals are. I chase ducks and rodents around a grassy area.

Shut up

That annoying guide shows up again this time when Jamie is around. He keeps saying we have different paths to go on. I tell him hell no, This is the one I'm on right now and I'm not moving from it. He asks if it's such a good path why aren't we together? and points to Jamie. I say I don't know. Maybe it's because we both have severe emotional problems and don't want to harm one another. Maybe she doesn't have room for me in her life yet. He said maybe it has something to do with past life karma, Karma to work out with soul mates. I notice Jamie's eyes then and she looks really sad, i think there may have been a fight earlier, not sure. I said I don't believe in Past Lives. I believe in Jesus so there's only this life and the heaven he has planned. The guide looks flustered at that and says. Where was Jesus when you sought him last? he wasn't even there? I say sometimes Jesus is silent, it's even in the bible. And, where spirits and guides like you have previously told me to give up Jesus came into my dreams and blessed me and her. He's the only one who seems to respect our free will unlike you guides And he helped us when she was possessed in a dream, he put obvious work into us unlike you guys. And go ahead, send me your BS soul mates. I've met some before and weren't even single, or even in my country. How many more deal breakers are you guys going to send me? Jesus Even turned his head away from me when you guys threw Dara at me, so guess what? I gave up on that. And Chelsea? She's not even single and you guys kept throwing me into her dreams when jamie was in trouble. And you know what I find it funny that while you're here telling me to let go Jamie is getting attacked by demons in dreams. you know what I think you're all demons... I was ranting like that the whole dream I think.