NyxCC

Date:03 Jan

Wbtb: around 50 caffeine (latte), way too wakeful again

WILD: I finally feel as if I am not in bed anymore but somewhere else, so allow myself to look around (don't remember opening the eyes?). Yes, I am in an unknown room that has a slight resemblance to grandma's place.

At this point I recall 3 tasks and notice that there isn't a single DC here. The dream feels unstable and I recall that we talked how 501 would examine his hands in detail to anchor himself in the dream and decide to do so. I have a good look at my hands, which look quite realistic and similar to my real ones and move on to my arm where I concentrate on the fine hairs. I also remember to do the old classic stabilization where I lick my arm but with little effect. I still feel the dream slipping away and nervously walk around, thinking maybe I would try this opposite task I had in mind, but I begin to lose vision. The lower part of my vision becomes a blur and I begin to feel weightless, so conclude now isn't a good time for that particular task.

My vision gets somewhat better. I turn around and see a window, a good opportunity to get out of here. There is distinct coldness emanating from outside and I am sure it will help me freshen up and condense me back to normal. Before going out, I briefly wonder whether to bring a blanket or something, since the air is chilly. I open the window and push myself outside. In the meantime, a girl passes by carrying a blanket that she drops nearby. I ask her about her NY resolution but can't hear what she replies. The dream collapses.

DEILD: I very briefly touch on my body and concentrate on dreaming again. There's a confusing mid point dreamlet where I remain in darkness and can hear women talking around me, I keep still, waiting for the dream.

I feel a scene change, but decide I will wait a bit longer to allow the dream to fully form and maybe it will be more stable. I finally conclude it is ok to move and begin exploring. I am in my old room and can see that the voices from the previous part belong to a number of women. They are sitting on couches around a table with food and drinks as if there's some sort of party going on. A friend from school is also there.

I remember the NY resolution task and make an announcement that I would like to hear what their resolutions are. My friend says "I want some juice" and points at the table. A bit unsatisfied with the answer I move on to the next woman who looks in her forties and repeat the same question. She just stares at me with her mouth open. I wait a bit but not a single word comes out. There's another woman sitting next to her and I address her "what about your beautiful friend sitting next to you?", I feel as if I am moderating some sort of show. She says something about a friendship club in New York. I try to memorize as much as possible. The dream soon ends.

I make a quick review in mind and wonder if I should try to go back for more but really need to visit the restroom.

I also remember a fragment that I can't allocate, where I was looking at a blue/grayish backpack with something written on it by CL.

Date: 25 Dec

Wbtb: sleepy so only 5-10min with 35-40 mg caffeine (Red Bull)

Dream quality: vivid, shifty items, recall evading

The ld part is preceded by a short non-ld FA fragment I barely recall.

LD Frag: In the next scene, I am walking down the street lucid. There was something going on here, not sure what. I decide I want to have some fun (part habit part task) climbing up a building. The dream is already very shifty. I go up climbing this building where I easily place my hands even though the distance between the frames of each window fitting my left and right hand separately is out of day life proportion. I keep on climbing but when I reach the end of the building, last floor, another one appears, I climb it, this repeats two more times, then I think about the roof and finally reach it. Some thoughts about having to draw the wall of china, looking for a place to do it. Evading recall at this point but I want to go down and the whole thing happens quite quickly. I descend but at the same time am still holding on to the building with one hand. As I almost reach the ground I stop and look to see what's going on - my hand has stretched all the way down to where I am. I have some more thoughts about this and as far as I can remember the dream soon ends.

Not sure if I touched on my body to deild or chained in dream. Don't remember.

LD: In an office building now, want to cross over to next building, very distracted as something is going on in the building, announcement to all employees which are going somewhere. Between the two buildings are a few red wires and I am confident that I will be able to walk on them. As I try to adjust them for an easier use, they change so that there are two additional wires I could eventually hold on to with my hands.

Not sure if I cross the entire distance or just a part of it, memory is hazy, in the next moment I also do some vertical climbing. This time I have the realization that there are invisible horizontal lines that have been helping me with my climbings all along, therefore it should be easy to climb even on empty space. I touch the air above me, trying to feel an edge or something to hold on to. Initially there's nothing, then I hold on to something, although I also summon some sort of intangible wall/building part as well. I climb a bit upwards in the air.

I finally recall the snowman task. It's dark and there is already some snow on the street but it's not enough. I scan the area, looking for a place with more snow. Initially see these kids that are playing with the snow, in the process of building a snowman. I have a mix of real and false memories, where I remember that this is how Steph completed the TOTM, she built the snowman together with some kids. I don't want the task execution to be exactly the same, therefore I go to another place.

Here there's also lots of snow on the ground, cars and there are two snowmen in progress. I'm also thinking about journalling at this point and whether it is ok to use the half-ready snowmen. I decide to add the finishing touches on one of them and decorate the head. Conveniently, there are a number of items right next to the snowmen, so I just pick up the carrot nose and also put a woolen blue hat on it. I get some sort of dream memory from the hat and remark that the snowman looks very much like D (a schoolmate, who also makes lots of appearances in my dreams, come to think about it he does wear a blue hat). Two other classmates are now here and we are discussing this, while I am also thinking about how to journal this dream.

Without much effort and while I am not looking at him, the snowman turns into the real D and looks kind of pissed off. We irritate him more by making laughing noises behind his back. Can't recall the conversations. Another classmate appears, D is now friendlier I address them both to help me draw the wall of China. Me and the other classmate turn to look at what's across the street where I want to make the wall of China appear. He tells me he doesn't quite know how to draw it but will try.

With no further involvement (apart from comments I can't recall) from his side, I find a spot in the distance and make a few predetermined moves with my hand. Immediately, I get a sort of a large long rocky structure, obviously not what I want. I look away, say something to my classmate then try again in another place. This time the result is better, it is a close match to the Great Wall, although its existence is uncertain/shifty. Some thought processes going on again, do not draw it again or you will change it, do not lose it out of sight, now I need to get there. It shortly disappears, after couple more thoughts and looking appears again. Now it is on a much more convenient place.

We are are at the bottom of an overcrowded with items hill and the wall of China, which has a middle age touch to it, slightly lighter stone color, is stretching from the bottom of the hill to the very top. I enter and get on top of the structure, which is made of small steps in the middle. Some task confusion, I take a couple of steps to make it count (even though this wasn't part of the task). Then remember what I was supposed to do - vandalize.

I look around, the two walls to the side are made of lots of lined statues and I take a heavy metal statue and use it to start breaking the rest. Then I come across a miniature with one of the Sumerian gods/guardians wondering what's that doing here. I don't want to break it. In the meantime, next to the wall the surroundings have changed and I am now in some sort of open air Asian temple, where they honor the ancestors. There is also a creepy dark female deity statue near the part with the wall of China. I feel bad for recking havoc in this place. It surely is enough for the task. What was next - apologize? (I truly think this is part of the task). No, I have to fight the authorities. But then, let's apologize anyways, I do so. Ok, now I have to find some Chinese to fight, I try to summon them, but the dream thins out and I wake up.

Date: 21 Dec

Natural wake: 100mg Gingko

Wbtb: 60 mg caffeine, latte

As I am staying still, relaxing, I get the familiar sense of gentle tingling or whatever, but change positions too often to allow it to deepen and possibly feel my dream body detach.

I partially recall zooming in on the beard (barely grown) of someone I know and having some thoughts about it, but was quickly pulled out of the dreamlet.

In the beginning before the wild, I vaguely recall experiencing similar physical sensations of someone trying to interact with me, but ignored them to fall asleep.

Mini-wild: I finally find myself in a dream, looking at this guy I know, there's another DC next to him as well. I try to engage in the dream, so place my hand on his head and touch the fence. This is on the street of my current place. It's quite dark and I carefully try to move, but my head is slightly constrained and I have some sort of tunnel vision (not sure if seeing with one eye or two). I manage to turn around and think about moving with super speed. Without much effort my body speeds up towards the end of the street, I take a turn and continue moving super fast on the next street. The dream quality is still bad, dark and my speed moving makes me see lots of people and items quickly coming in and out of sight. I slow down to contemplate on my goals, whereby I try to remember the exact sequence of things I wanted to do. Just as I remember, the dream falls apart and I find myself back in bed.

I am back in my real bed, aware of the true and exact position of my body, yet at the same time, I have the very physical sensation of someone touching me, trying to wake me up. I think this person also said something. The whole thing is super realistic and I begin to wonder if someone is really trying to wake me up. I ignore what's happening, but the physical feeling of there being someone and wake shaking me persists. I feel creeped out and turn over then it disappears.

Too awake now to continue sleeping.

Date: 19 Dec

Natural wake:500 mg ginseng

Wbtb: 22 mg caffeine

LD: We are four guys in some city in the past like the 30-50s in the winter. It feels as if we belong to a gangster organization or so and have just walked away from this store where we got some expensive long winter coats, mine was grey, the other guy's white, without paying. A group of other men is standing nearby, ready to come after us.

I become lucid but decide to play along (didn't check on my body if I was still a guy) and allow them to go after us and get the gang to start running. The bad guys slowly start coming in our direction, while we are discussing how to escape. I see a large city river running between the buildings and decide I will use it as a quick way out. My companions are a bit unsure of this, but they follow me as I go ahead with the idea I have in mind. Not quite sure if it will work, but it does. Just as I wanted, the surface of the river freezes and we get on the ice, gliding forward for couple of seconds, then walking and running. I turn back to check on the bad guys, they still seem to be in the distance. I try to manipulate the thought of where they will be. Yet, since they only seem to exist when I turn back, they are at a random distance each time. From what I can remember, the river turns into a melting snow street, I feel the dream destabilizing and try to control my speed. At some point I am running very fast, but it feels really weird as I don't feel my body the same way, whatever.

I lose track of some of my companions, then I remember I wanted to summon a horse (or raindeer) and this will be the perfect opportunity to use it to to ride faster than the chasers. Not sure how to proceed about this since I am still running, I pretend that I am already on a horse and feel as if I am riding it. The guy from our group in front of me is now riding a horse and I get the feeling that I am too. This whole thing is happening too fast for me to notice what's below, my vision is shaking from the movement and I look to the side to see if I am at a higher distance from the ground and I am. It feels as if I am riding a horse, but I am sure that there's no horse. Oh, well.

We soon reach the end of the road, get inside ? At this point the dream is quite unstable and things change a lot. I still check if the chasers are after us, and of course they are. Trying to use my eyes to spot the best place to go, I look for a place that looks more appealing. Some sort of flooded sewer, no. I just want a place where the dream continues on the street. As I look around everything closes and becomes dead end. Oops. I wonder what to do, contemplating a phase if things get too heated up and but turn around and decide to face them. The chasers are now here (since I kept thinking about them) and this guy carrying a large spiked club is getting closer. At this point, I conclude I went way too far with this "game" and mentally prepare being hit with the club. Then I remember that CL didn't feel any pain in a recent dream and maybe nothing will happen after all. The guy swings at me, but indeed nothing happens, did he even hit me?

I decide the moment is good to practice some kung fu. Another attacker approaches and we get into a struggle, but he's too hard to move initially. I still manage to throw him on the ground 2 times yet he doesn't seem to be hurt. I get distracted by thoughts and leave him standing, contemplating how are we (there is no we, but I still follow the scenario) going to deal with the bad guys. As soon as I think about us, my companions are back, but different DCs, we are five now, with a female classmate of mine being part of the team. Each of us will deal with each of them (they are four). Now there's this completely different DC attacker and I start getting a completely different idea of how to deal with him, we can seduce him with my classmate. This thought is enough and he is no longer menacing and I have other things on my mind. At this point and probably for the best, the dream ends.

Date: 8 Dec

Entry 2/2

[Summary of non-ld part]:

In school, invited by teacher and classmates to go to the movies. One of them forgets an item belonging to her husband and we go back. On the way back, I lose sight of my classmates and go to bring another item to another classmate that was previously in the room, going to her place.

Her place looks pretty weird with some guys going to a sauna room next to her door. The room turns into a bathroom and I have a look at my reflection, my hair's different but I like it too much to realize something's off. After a while of vanity staring, with the place now a trailer on the street, I identify that my features aren't exactly supposed to look like this and it finally hits me.

My memory is kind of blurry about the surroundings but I remember getting out of the trailer, then walking to this U turn, where I begin to feel the dream thinning. I immediately start rushing without any purpose, can't think of any tasks either, which adds to my worries. I tell myself to stop doing this and try to look around instead, notice some sort of store where I try to read the name. This seems to take the attention off dream instability and helps fix things.

I'm in the middle of a heavy traffic road, cars going in both directions. I feel like I want to push couple of vans off the road to test my abilities. I try pushing one, but to my surprise, it feels heavy as a real van. I continue until managing to make a number of vans lift off in the air, then throw them using tk near the road. Then I turn around to the traffic behind me, lift a number of cars, allow them to stay in the air for a while then tk drag them to the same place I left the previous ones. At some point a few of the cars in the air start to morph into chunks of metal and emit this strong metallic smell.

There's a bit of green (like grass and trees) on the scene but overall I don't like the composition. I command the traffic to stop and try to mentally prevent any new cars from coming and think about cleaning up around. How should I do that, erase the pile of metal crap? Then I remember I wanted to try drawing with the finger. The scenery in front of me has many levels, but I find an empty spot where the end of the scenery meets the blue sky and draw a triangle here and concentrate on seeing what's going to happen. Indeed, there is a ghost-like shape and especially in the beginning it is the Great pyramid, the right proportions and color. A bit later it becomes somewhat pointier and the stone darker, more like a Nubian pyramid. I give it a try to fix it a bit, but it more or less remains the same. And of course, it is unfortunately too far. I know I have to reach it as fast as possible.

Not too used to flying, I start swimming in the air, floating towards the pyramid pretty successfully. Interestingly, I also breathe the same way I would during swimming. The scenery in front of me is an mix of steep hills and walls. I keep swim flying, reaching one of the walls, see cameras and barbed wire. At this point I think about the title of the journal entry, this is the most guarded pyramid in the world (already thinking about journaling!). Swim flying and climbing, I am getting closer to the top of the structure, when I see that the pyramid has turned into a number of houses and radio tower. I want to do the drawing again, but the dream fades.

(Now, I kind of feel a bit guilty of drawing exactly the same thing as CL, but it was the first thing that came to mind. Also, should have thought more about the pyramid, rather than titles)

Date: 08 Dec

Entry 1/2

Wbtb: did a shorter than usual wbtb from a natural wake where I had 1/3 latte. Did a quick goal revision and couple of mantras, felt asleep within a reasonable amount of time.

Had about 3 vivid dreams/fragments, then the ld.

The beginning of the ld's hard to recall. I'm on a street that looks familiar and we comment on this with a female dream friend, some remarks about journalling too.

One thing that is very peculiar about the place is that all the buildings' colors are extremely soft, chalky color. Each one is in different color but very pale. They look extremely beautiful. I am aware that this is a dream, but have somewhat lower level of lucidity. Vaguely remember how we went to this other part of town.

My lucidity and rational thinking sharpens as we go on our way. We are a group of people and someone is leading us (I can't see who at the moment). This is a pretty good arrangement since it keeps me busy and my secondary ld goal is exactly to walk around, see as much as possible for as long as possible.

This is the city center now and I catch a glimpse of a gothic cathedral behind one of the street corners. It is also colorful with the same pale chalky colors and material. There's the overall impression that the whole city center colors are like this. At the same time the quality is extremely high, everything is very 3D, stable and vivid. I spot a female classmate in the crowd on the square, which I assume is part of our group. I am happy about that and say something to her, but she starts laughing and replies with some weird sounds, her eyes look as if she's wearing lenses too. Not a smart DC I conclude and lose a bit of interest.

[Warning animal violence]

It's almost like a scene change as we keep walking down another street. I cross the street and examine the ground below my feet and it feels so detailed and real, there's a piece of mini-trash I try to identify, a scaffold area in front of me. I get distracted by a small white dog that I pay too much attention to and it sticks to my leg, trying to bite me. I try as much as possible to be indifferent and get rid of it, but it sticks, so I have no choice, now I want to break its front teeth to deactivate it. I take it with my hands and imagine I am super strong, trying to break the front teeth that look kind of weird too. Not much success so I swirl around and throw the dog away.

I feel disgusted and start rummaging in a dream bag of mine, hoping to find wet wipes to clean my hands, which I do. I feel like I have messed up, being distracted by the dog instead of following the group. This has caused the surroundings to change and we are in another part of town, lots of green trees can be seen. The group leader is now walking with my classmate further down the street, while I am trying to catch up with them together with a blond girl, also at this point part of the group.

They slow down and I face the group leader/our guide, a woman in her 40es. She seems very sympathetic and lively and I feel it's time to ask her some questions. As I speak, I notice and think about how easy it has been for me to speak and act in this dream, how stable everything has been and for such a long time. I ask her a number of questions, to give me some tips in general and also regarding my meditation practices. Unfortunately, she gives me an answer that doesn't make much sense, about some guy bringing her here. I feel somewhat disappointed as I thought she might be a useful dream guide, she has been guiding us on this city tour all along. The dream fades.

Date: 06 Dec

Was supposed to do a wbtb, but felt really sleepy, so I just kept nervously waking up and falling asleep again. Was more deeply asleep than usual, had a pretty cool dream and a mini-ld at the end.

Dream: In some city of the future, there are business people walking on the street. I am in some sort of transportation, with tables in the middle. The guide is talking about us opening the fancy books on the table, but I don't have one. The guy (to be JL) in front of me gives me his book.

My attention is then drawn by the resting yogi platforms on the street. Initially a few, then many (DS), looking extremely interesting, like two rows of beige hammocks, each hammock cell uniquely decorated with some tribal art. These seem to continue down the street like forever (DS) and an old sadhu is horizontally resting on each one. I notice I am making sounds with my mouth as if playing a didgeridoo. Amongst the individual cells for the yogis are a few reporters from National Geographic. As I think about these reporters, the face of one of them turns into a human tiger face.

We are still in the transportation and the guide explains about some sort of formation, that I think I noticed is in the sand between each cell? It's like a barely visible vortex in the sand, but when he explains about the formation, I begin to see as if looking on a screen, a computer model graphics of a donut shape. He explains that this formation is the result of the wind and some electromagnetic particles which when falling get to form this shape over time, due to magnetic influences.

There are different types of futuristic cars flying in the air near us. They look like mini planes, but flatter, wider and made from some sort of black material.

The guy that gave me his book is now Jude Law. Near the windows are many interesting (DS) bottles of fancy cosmetics. My attention is torn between him and them, but I touch his arm and leave my hand there, waiting for reaction. He doesn't seem to mind and keeps his arm in the same position. At some point he is eating a pack of dried/transforming to fresh blueberries and offers me some, I refuse.

I begin examining the various cosmetics they have. Some sun tanning stuff and lots of colorful bottles and boxes of expensive cosmetics. I turn to Jude and say that one thing hasn't changed in the future and that is that some cosmetics are still prohibitively expensive. Then I take a purple box of face cream and read out what the benefits are supposed to be, reversing the meaning to the total opposite, my speech turning into a funny negative campaign for L'oreal. Jude is enjoying it too.

I nervously wake up, remember the totm, and go back there.

DEILD: Jude is to my right now and we are still in some sort of transportation. I briefly wonder whether to announce that this is about TOTM, but just say, "Please give me a present", or something along those lines. He looks at me surprised, especially after my long cosmetics speech, like he didn't expect me to want anything from him. I add "It can be something small", thinking it doesn't have to be expensive. He comes closer and gives me a super sexy kiss. We continue kissing for a while, while I contemplate this. The dream fades and I head for the journal.

Date: 11 Nov

Pre bed: 200mg val

Wbtb: 1/3 latte

I remember the previous dream and then from the middle/extended end of this one.

DILD: I am now on some unknown streets, it's a bright day. There is a plot going on, but I also know that I am dreaming. A girl maybe school age is my companion and this guy is waiting to meet us? in the middle of the street. I have the feeling that the dream is coming to an end, so move around quickly and try to absorb as much as possible.

I go in a small store where they sell clothes, but these clothes have special magical properties, like they can change your shape and turn you into animal. I feel the guy is waiting for me outside, so decide to ignore the magic items and go look for him. But when I do go out, the entire street has changed and he is no longer there. I am sad that I missed him. I remember trying to call him to come back but no result. I shortly contemplate whether to go back to the store. What was I supposed to do? Meet someone?

The girl from the earlier part now comes from somewhere and I finally remember that I was supposed to ask a question. At this point there is the realization that I had many chances to do so, yet always forgot to. I take it slow and ask the question - what are you thankful for, and become all ears, trying not to influence her answer. She opens her mouth and only some gibberish comes out, I can't make any word from that. I ask her again and she starts laughing maniacally. That pisses me off because I still expect to hear a normal answer. In the end she blurts out: "Are you deaf or what?". Her eyes seem quite lively but I have no explanation for this behavior.

Once again, I get the feeling that the dream is thinning out and look around wondering what to do and where to go. I remember that I wanted to go for Toty, but feel like this is the end of the journal entry where one finally figures out what to do at the moment the dream ends. I reckon the dream won't allow for any Toty completion at this point, so try to make the most of whatever dream time is left and look around. It's the like the main shopping street of a small town and for some reason, the area (I can't recall if it was) between stores or a mini street where I can see is more sun-lit, it looks extremely appealing to me and I decide to go there.

I know that I am on borrowed dream time and I try to take in whatever the dream offers. It's a small park type of pond, mostly dried out, but in one end is an indescribable large fountain with lots of jets beautifully arranged around the center. It undergoes some sort of transformation to become like the shape of a large oak tree made of ice. The texture is like a mix of slowly flowing fountain water and ice.

I look around and notice how on the surface of the dried out pond now there are scattered small pieces of ice and can see the reflection of the sunlight in each one, it's amazing. And as I scan the surroundings, I notice my special friend sitting near the other end of the pond. He is looking down, as if reading a book and I call out his name. He sees me and comes closer. Meanwhile, I notice that I am chewing a stupid gum and spit it out, but can still feel it in my mouth, ignore. In the last moments I manage to steal from this dream, we hug and try to ice-skate on the surface of the pond, towards the ice oak tree. The alarm wakes me up, recall is hard.

Date: 08 Nov

Wbtb: latte (1/3), 34 mg

LD: I suddenly find myself in our living room and it is dark. My initial thought is that this is quite a bad location for any TOTY tasks. I take some time to fit in instead of rushing like crazy. There are creepy noises coming from somewhere and I don't feel very comfortable with that, so decide to stay where I am. My hands find the tablet and I use it to light around. I think I am also seeing the HI lights swirling around the room at some point.

I open the browser and decide to type dreamviews, but as soon as I type "dre" the keyboard changes and I give up. Then think that it will be really cool to play some music. I tap a couple of buttons like the music app and a song starts playing, there's also something on the screen like album picture. I expected to hear some cool dream techno but it's a nice rock song. The only problem is the sound is not loud enough for my preferences. I want the sound to blast all around me or at least to be a bit louder. My tech instinct is to increase the volume on the tablet and I keep on pressing the button but no result.

I decide to check out how the other rooms look, carrying the tablet to light the way. There are 4 plastic and paper shopping bags in front of the entrance door. I also take a peek in the bedroom and see bf asleep. I concentrate and see a sleeping body where I should be. This feels a bit creepy and I quickly walk away, trying not to wake myself up (also flashing with the tablet in my own face).

I go back to the living room, now contemplating an exit. The most efficient way seems the window. I face the it, wondering whether to directly phase though it or try to open it, being a bit concerned that phasing might make me end up in the void, like a few days ago. I do a mix of both, half phase, half open the window which is somewhat stuck.

The outside world is someplace unknown to me, but I don't pay attention to that. I end up on a balcony and try to figure out how to get down from here. There are kids playing on the street, and if I correctly remember the trees' leave are already yellow? I shout something at the kids about them helping me out, more to feel confident that asking for help, then I do the swing forward and end up on the street. Not sure if I used a tree branch or just the habitual move.

Before I go anywhere, I take a last look at our place. The window is now open, and we are dangerously close to the ground, making it possible for someone to climb back there. I briefly wonder if it is possible that the dream body actually has opened a real window, then dismiss the idea. There are three kids running around, one wears a strange purple clay-like mask on his face. I tell him to behave, there was something that he did. Then, I think I asked them where the wall of China is, but no reply. The kids were pretty independent and lively DCs though.

I decide to walk around and look for the wall of China. Everything is extremely vivid and stable. It is midday, feels like early fall too. There's so much detail. I see a street name on one of the nearby buildings and try to read it but then change my mind. This time, I decide that I will allow the dream to gently lead me to any desired TOTY objects, rather than me forcing things to appear. As I am scanning the surroundings for something appropriate to use, I notice this church on one of the streets. It's made of pink sandstone, very beautiful. The whole building is absolutely perfect and so elaborate that I just can't believe my mind can create so much and correct detail. Still checking out what's around me, I make sure to also look for any tall buildings that can fit another TOTY. Nothing too tall though.

I turn right and explore the other street, looking for the wall of china or any elements that might help get there. There are rail tracks in front of what I think is near our place and also a pretty large and quite beautiful train station, its facade is made of bricks with the same pinkish color. I decide to go back, looking for greenery in the other direction. Instead of greenery or the street where I came from, I now find myself facing rail tracks again and a number of heavy trains are passing by. As I wait for them to go away and evaluate the terrain and how hard it will be to cross all these rails, I think it might be a good idea to rub my hands and remind myself that this is a dream. I am casually walking around, rubbing my hands, but the dream already seems out of fuel and I gradually wake up.

I am supposed to journal, but fall back to non-ld sleep instead.

Right. I am way behind with journalling. In the meantime, got mostly short lds and finally a long one today (will post separately).

Date: 1 Nov

Combo: SJW, B6, p.oil cap, latte

It's been around two months since the last time I took this combo. This time, I found the dreams before the wbtb very emotionally charged and not with pleasant emotions. It was mentally exhausting.

I do a quick wbtb and go back to bed repeating the mantras. An hour passes by where I thought I was awake but actually I was in some sort of deep sleep. Can't recall thinking or dreaming anything. I take a couple mins to concentrate on having an ld and fall asleep.

LD: From the darkness, the scene begins to form around me and I start walking briskly to allow myself to get in properly. I am on the street in some neighborhood. As I examine the surroundings, I see a chimp in the yard across the street. Cool! I remember that I was supposed to turn into a gorilla for the NY task, so having a point of reference for the transition is very welcome. My thoughts and emotions make the chimp stand on its feet and beat its chest or something like that.

The dream is kind of unstable and as I look around, I see the chimp suddenly vanish in front of my eyes. It quickly fades away to become transparent, where only the contours can be seen, then these disappear as well. I want the chimp to reappear and look in another direction. Behind the fence of a close by yard, there are now a number of bear cubs and as I am staring at them they quickly increase in numbers. The whole yard is now filled with bear cubs, maybe 15-20 of them. I look towards what I feel is the city center, hoping to see a tall building, but there are only 5- story blocks here. There's this gut feeling that I shouldn't have started changing the dream so early on as this is causing too much instability, but it's already too late. I wake up.

I do another quick and rather sloppy attempt to have an ld, but it seems that I fall into unmemorable sleep again.

4 Nov

From scratch short ld in the living room. High instability, decided to do yoga - handstand but lost the feel of my hands and dream collapsed.

5 Nov

Stable, vivid, somewhat unpleasant atmosphere. Recognized frequency of objects (toilets) as DS. Decided to leave the place by phasing through a mirror. Imagined Egypt behind and phased but ended in the void. Shortly felt warmth and some sand around but then continued floating forwards in the dark void. Minor dream paralysis (in the void) while trying to rub hands.

Entry 2/2

I stay still for DEILD, although my leg feels uncomfortable.

DEILD: The very first moments are a bit vague, but the next thing I know, I am in what looks like the desert (I don't fully realize this yet, just acknowledge I am in). There are a number of DCs randomly walking around and I take some time to feel comfortable in the scene. I notice a jade colored large crystal in the sand, pick it up and remark how beautiful it is. There are more crystals now and in the midst of them I find the most amazing piece (fist size) I have ever seen. It has a variety of bright colors and really interesting structure.

The sun is shining brightly and the whole scene is super vivid too. As I keep staring at the crystal I get the feeling that it is about to change, so move my eyes away. There is a DC guy nearby and I comment on the beauty of the crystal, then look at my hand again. I am now holding several pieces of smaller gemstones, deep colors of blue and green. I address the DC and ask him for advice. I really wish I could take those gemstones with me, can he tell me how to do that. I clasp my fist as tightly as possible to hold on to the crystals.

I look around and examine the surroundings. I remember I wanted to do TOTY and briefly wonder if there might be something suitable here. The sky is deep blue, the sun is shining and there is sand in every direction. Finally, it dawns on me that the Egypt task could fit here (although I haven't reviewed it in a while). I think about the pyramids and get the pyramids plus sphinx complex but very far in the distance. It's more like a single clearly distinguishable pyramid and the sphinx in front of it. Anyways, I think it's too far so decide to get another sphinx somewhere nearby. I do my looking for object subcon summon - look from left to right with a bit less focus, scanning the surroundings and expecting to spot the desired object (quite similar to looking for something lost at home).

My mind begins to make the scene more Egyptian now. A few palms appear in the distance, (I only notice them vaguely), Egyptian statues and a number of small sphinx-like statues. One catches my attention (it's one of those winged sphinxes) and I decide that will be it. Part of it is missing. I briefly remember about the nose. Then I see a light beige to albino lion, very beautiful but kind of scary. I am thinking it looks less friendlier than tigers. I try to ignore it and get on the sphinx statue which is about the size of a pony. In the meantime, I notice that I am still holding my fist tight and continue to do so. The lion comes closer and I try to start the sphinx statue to move (forgetting about the nose), but instead it only rocks back and forth like those spring rockers for a while, then the dream fades.

I try to DEILD once again, but the same leg position is terribly uncomfortable now. My fist is tightly clenched and I slowly open it, with the childish hope that I was able to bring those beautiful crystals back with me.

Entry 1/2

Pre bed: 3mg mel, wbtb: 1/2 latte

DILD+: I've got the impression that I deilded two times after dream fade, got into the same place with the first deild, but my memory is really messed up, so putting this as one ld.

I am on the porch of this place the way it used to look years ago. I am staring ahead of me, as if trying to figure out if I am in the dream. I confirm it feels like a dream, then turn around to go towards the yard, but the porch is very high and there is a steep slope just below it, so not very convenient for a jump. I decide to take the stairs and go down one level. Notice some details of the house and get a mix of memories that seem to change the place. I am now on the lower level of the yard and see a very long truck that carries some sort of long metal wires. Random thoughts arise about there being a construction site in the proximity and how they have ruined the place and I almost lose lucidity.

Ignoring the truck, I continue on my way, this time trying to climb to the upper level of the yard using some sort of a morphing ladder. This time, I decide to experiment and see if I can stretch my hands like Mr. Fantastic as I am holding on to the ladder or whatever it is now. My hands stretch somewhat, but it is the ladder thing that stretches the most. The whole thing becomes a flexible rubbery substance that is being dragged down like a curtain, as I clench onto it.

Still hanging in the air, holding on to it, the next idea that comes to my mind is that I actually want to climb it like a cat (i.e. with claws) or even better, why not make the surface of my fingers just stick to the ladder. I am midair holding myself by clawing on the surface of the ex-ladder, trying to smoothly let go and just allow my fingers to stick to the surface, but feel that I am about to fall. Then, subconsciously apply some sort of mini- vacuum effect with my fingers, that makes the ladder stick to my fingertips. There is a thin indigo energy layer around and behind my fingers as I look at them.

I finally climb to the upper level. There is some sort of long white board on which I decide to do random acrobatic tricks I can't exactly recall in detail. Then I remember reading on DV that someone used a certain tech to fly and decide to try it out. It consists of putting your hands on the ground and launching yourself by applying pressure to it (Man of Steel). I try to do that and feel some pressure, but can't take off.

I turn around and acknowledge the greenery which reminds me it may be good for the Wall of China. I look around, thinking about the wall, but only get a couple of Asian/Buddhist statues made of ebony among the trees ahead of me. Maybe I need a little bit of motivation for the task, so I start singing a Chinese tune to help me out. It echoes loudly around me, but the dream slowly fades.

Date: 15 Oct

Pre bed: 1xGingko combo (Gingko, Ginseng, lecithin, mate)

TST: 6.5 hrs

Bad night of sleep thanks to the neighbors.

LD: At grandma's place and am trying to make a cup of tea by using the boiling water from the tap. However, I can't find the tea anywhere. There is a butler whose name is Charles. We go out and he is driving me to the street where we are supposed to pick the tea from some sort of office. There is snow everywhere, I play with it with my hands. Feels normal.

I become lucid, but have no immediate task in mind. Instead, I decide to play along and go to where we were headed and see what happens. I am a bit uncertain about being able to generate an office, but walk towards the building. The entrance's at the back and I enter the yard. There is some weird flickering going on. I wonder what's that about. The street light has problems? There are electricity cables connected to it and as I move, they get in the way of the light from the lamp, producing this flickering effect. I can't believe this level of detail/effect is possible. Anyways, I continue on my way, get in the building, now there's this guy with me. The office is supposed to be on the first floor. I almost lose lucidity here as the stairs get extremely deformed and narrow, I fail to reach my destination and go back to the building entrance.

The guy is with me and now there is a woman in the team. They are both dressed with green overalls and are like prisoners from an alien colony. They talk about the guy having some sort of disease. We head towards the street, they are holding 3 guns like Uzzis but green as well. Cool, I am thinking very enthusiastically that we are going to have some sort of dream adventure. At this moment I remember to try to get them to join me in my AF TOTY quest. I turn towards what feels like the city center and think about AF. I can hear the sound of falling/running water and soon see that have caused a large city type of river to appear. Initially, there are 3 jets of water as if coming from a fountain, but actually coming from the river. I have the feeling that AF would be hard to form here, but still think the scene is good for the Great Barrier Reef Task. I come closer to the riverbank, the water is quite deep, extremely clear and is about to overflow from my side. In my mind, this is the Great barrier reef already. I gather a bit of courage and plunge.

The scene disappears and my body faces the bottom of what looks like the ocean. It's hard to see as it is very similar to when one is really trying to see underwater. My entire body is submerged in this clear, somewhat shallow water. There is enough light and I can feel the sun shining bright above and as hard as it is to see clearly, I can distinguish lots of grains of sand just below me. I struggle to get a better view of everything, but the impression of having water in the eyes and not adapting yet, remains. I think about the next step, corals, but they are nowhere in sight. At the same time, I think about the sea turtle that's supposed to be here (CL that's from you!) and can see the turtle swimming in the water with the sand right in front of me. In addition to that, I can hear a joyful marine type of tune playing softly in the background. I am still struggling with this watery blurry vision though and it finally gets the best of me and the dream totally fades.

Date: 09 Oct Entry 3/3

This dream was quite long, so can't recall some parts of it.

LD: I am in this place, which looks like our first home and changes during the dream. Someone talks to me about this weird party that is about to begin later.

We are talking with grandma when I notice someone's at the door. I tell her to be quiet and go to see who is it. A strange woman comes in to discuss the details - party for 60 people, just as we had planned it. I go to the bathroom and see some sort of installation and plastic cups inside. I get a false memory that while I was sleeping, they changed the entire room. Lots of people get in and the party begins. Somewhere along the way and possibly due to some of these false memories, I become lucid. I spend time looking around, see classmates, notice details but I can't remember much else here.

Later on, I spot my friend who is also here and approach him. I concentrate and begin a very energy consuming talk about shared dreaming. I remember the music is too loud as we speak. For some reason, I am way too close to his face and see lots of unnecessary details there, but I take these as a good sign, hoping that it's really him. I tell him this might be a shared dream, ask him if he knows what that is, also what lucid dreaming is. In the beginning he replies with more or less normal sentences and I get the impression he simply has no idea what I'm talking about, despite my efforts to convince him that this is a shared dream (which he seems to be accepting at the same time). I start with the basics again, asking him if he dreams and remembers his dreams at all. Then, he becomes a lifeless puppet and faints/falls asleep. Refusing to accept reality, I come up with the explanation that he has fallen into deep sleep, so I need to bring him back.

I drag him along to these two other DCs and ask them what can I do to bring him back. They recommend cold water. Conveniently, I see one of those water dispensers. I get him directly underneath the dispenser and turn the water on but he doesn't wake up. At this point, I also notice how light his body is and how easy I am dragging him along. I finally accept that he probably wasn't the real him anyways and leave him.

There is a mirror in front of me and I get a flashback of an earlier part of the ld, which at that time feels accessible. In the meantime, my friend is back again as a background DC and I decide to hold him by the hand and go into a dark room to face the Yurei. There is a closed door that looks promisingly creepy. Before I get in, my friend's gone somewhere, but there is a classmate nearby, so I take him instead. I go in the room, it is not as dark as I had expected but is convenient enough to get a creepy feel. Little natural light comes from the outside, the room is mostly empty with a brownish hue and there are some sort of sections that separate the room. I think about the Yurei/ring girl and immediately in front of me and in every section I get lots of creepy looking girls and things. I can clearly see two of them have scarce clothing and long hair in front of their faces. The rest of the DCs are rather formless but in the same color. Soon the hair of all these DCs and creatures turns from black to mahogany, but that's not all. The individual hairs now look like twigs, mahogany colored edgy twigs. The DCs all head towards me, luckily at that moment, I lose my sight, but remain in the dream where I can hear them making scary sounds, while trying to fight them and push them away with my hands. The dream fades.

Date: 09 Oct Entry 2/3

At this point I just wanted to sleep, so only wrote the key words for this dream.

LD: No idea how this dream started. I am on one of the streets in my hometown. There are also lots of kids playing here. Having no particular goals in mind, I decide to explore around and get in a shop where they sell crystals, bracelets, etc. My first though is "what am I doing here", since this is an ld and I don't usually do this in lds but non-lds. Anyways, there's some pretty cool stuff on sale - colorful necklaces and I check them out. The shop keeper is a woman that greets me in Spanish. I get a bit confused, does she see me? (I sometimes randomly assume that am OBEing somewhere and the people might be real instead of DCs.)

I say a few words to her and then she gives me some sort of a wooden board with letters on it. I am thinking this is similar to an ouija board and might use it to obtain answers/info this way. It also looks like a good idea for invention, because I haven't seen anything like this before. There is a text that has been scratched on it (no ink) and I try to read the message, but the letters look like ancient Greek and turn to random ones. I then face her and decide to ask her to give me an advice, anything that can be useful for me. I am hoping of hearing concrete instructions of what exactly I should do. (yeah, I know!)

She tells me that I have to live in harmony with the surroundings, because everything from the environment (some words I can't understand) changes our DNA.

I find the answer much more profound than one would assume. I can't believe she just said that. It changes our DNA? She nods yes. Can you repeat this again. (I am trying to memorize it as hard as I can). She repeats the answer again. I want to ask her more things, but at this moment, similarly to inception, lots of DCs - the kids from outside storm the place and I can't talk to her. I tell them to bugger off but the dream ends.


Almost forgotten short ld.

LD Frag:I am looking at my feet and decide I want to change my clothes and shoes. Initially, I have the desire to make a pair of purple shoes appear, but briefly see only one. Next, I am wearing a flip flop on one foot and a gray high heel shoe on my other foot. I make some sort of grey leggings appear, then think people won't be very interested in reading this entry.