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    ZenLD

    Highschool, Black teen, College, Pills

    by , 03-29-2019 at 01:09 AM (180 Views)
    I had 4 dreams I think today. Thought they weren't special but upon closer inspection, as always, it revealed some deep insights that helped me alot. Perhaps tiny lucid moment.

    Dream 1- highschool food

    First dream took place in the highschool I went to. So I was in the school cafeteria in at the food stall, it was a small partitioned room that was connected to the cafeteria which was basically a large gym, cleared out with some tables. As I check through the foods on sale, I find some duck! They were selling whole duck, roasted yellow, nice and fat and good. It was way over priced though, and other foodstuffs being sold wasn't very interesting. I decided to leave the shop and just forget about lunch. While leaving, one of the boy working there, nice young boy, brownish hair, very cute, is grabbing a roasted duck by the legs, handing it to me. I'm like hey, maybe he got the wrong person to hand the duck to but. DUCK! So I grab the duck and take it elsewhere to eat. I end up in the hallway where I find some highschool friends, they also had duck XD. So one friend begins carving the duck for all to share after I handed him mine. There was a foodtall beside the lunchtable and chair that we were sitting to the right. I wanted some rice to I check out the foodstall. Fried rice, italian rice, etc.. and Rice! Decide to not get it. 5.99 for a tiny bowl of white rice so I'm like no. We share the duck.

    I head back to the original cafeteria food place, and browse through the food again. 24 bucks for chicken, 35 for duck. I'm like costoco's 9 bucks! Haha. But something good did catch my eye. I find a piece of very nicely marbled beef, thing but you could tell it was good quality. Not the best, but it was good. I think it was like 25-40 bucks, so I decide to go for it. Before I buy it, I ask if there's parasite in it, can I eat it raw. The guy at the counter say something like "dunno probably, I'm not sure if that's a good idea". A friend, who also works there now assures him "Don't worry, ZenLD's a badass" lol. I try a sampler for the beef, man it's good! It's like aged nicely, slightly smoked maybe, had a slight saltiness and flavor that is reminiscent of smoked salmon, but gentler. The marbled fat melted in my mouth as I savored slight resistance from the smooth muscles it in a moment of pure flavor ecstacy that felt so real. There's a blonde boy there. He's kinda eyeing my beef. So I tear off a piece and feeds him. He's like "Wow that's so good!" Yes totally good. I decide to leave and I awaken.

    Dream 2- Black teen getting a job

    So I was this black teenage boy. Late into the teens, pretty tall, lean musculature - strong but not bulky kind of physique. Pretty attractive I suppose. I was in a mall, not sure what I was doing there, but I find this stall with 3 older black women, two middle aged, one older. They were recruiting people for charity or some kind of relief or cause. They tell me to join, cuz the pay's really good. They pay me immediately, and I start working already. Totally peer pressured. I think they paid me maybe 60k on the spot. Yes, this organization appears to be kind of a sham organization, more info later. The oldest of the women tells me to make sure to pay your taxes, 30%.

    We head outside and begin walking. Walking on a summer day. Walking towards our first workplace, it also will serve as a inn too. As we were walking I began to converse wit the previous old lady, forget what though. Oh yes, the convo was interrupted by a young black lady, mid to late twenties, she's attractive, but has an omnious vibe about her, she's also the boss of the organization. Kind of develop a relationship with her I think. After a pretty long walk, we find ourselves inside a building. We were on the first floor, it had some gym equipments and things to help keep the employees fit and happy and things. I find 3 middle eastern teens or tweens, who are trying to one-up eachother with some moves- it's like calistenics or dance or I duno what you call it. So I try it. Being a fit teen I do some awesome moves and the 3 of them are like "awesome" and tries to imitate my move. They fail horribly though XD. I take off my clothes to change them, getting hooted by some women while doing so. I head towards where I'd stay, heading outside via the gym entrance. There's a lady there, real stout and tough looking. She's obviously on steroids, with muscles on top of muscles. Body fat of maybe like 1%, probably less. She immediately takes a disliking of me and talks down on me. I don't feel like starting trouble already so I let her go. Shouts "Stop doing steroids" twice to her as she leaves. She twitches a bit.

    We're in a restaurant now I think, not too clear, but most likely an employee dinner kind of thing. One guy had a real uptight persona, reminded me of the buff lady prior, yeah he's the son of the buff lady. The old lady, from the start, puts a stop to him. Peaceful for a while.

    Now in a mall again. Prepping a stall to recruit more people. I meet the young woman again.

    Before I can talk to her, the old lady begins to warn me "don't get invovlved with her"

    Apparently we were dating or something. Turns out, the organization was a money-laundering sham. The woman was looking for someone to use as a scapegoat incase she was caught. Despite that I stayed there instead of leaving.

    She says "Aren't you gonna leave me?"

    I say "No... Because you'd be lonely."

    The old lady, and her 2 friends begin crying. I begin crying as well. The tears we shed was black and tarry, like letting go of some emotional pain. The young woman walks away. I wake up, with tears.

    Did she... cry too?

    Dream 3 - College, geezer
    I was attending a college lecture, university is probably a better word. It took place in a very large gymnasium style building, white floors with desks for students to sit in. There were about 500 to a 1000 students listening to the lecture. I was sitting way to the right. Behind me were couple of acquaintances, dream acquaintances. 2 notable figures among the 5 people. One was a old european looking old man with white hair, he had many a wrinkles on his forehead. We called him geezer. The other was a man in his mid thirties, brown hair, long face, with very spiky hair. We called him long face, or long spike.

    We get into some flashbacks about the pasts of these 2. It took place in a fantasy setting. Geezer was an warrior who'd lost one of his arm during the previous war or an expedition, and Long face, was one of his comrade in the same party. Geezer's retired now, so's probably long face. They were all trying to learn something form this establishment. Just visions of stuff they did playing over.

    Geezer and the others tell me, "the future's up to you."

    I ask "how? I'm not great and admirable like you, Geezer or Long face. Look at how amazing you are, how can I do anything about the future where, both you and Long face both failed?"

    He says "You can do it, believe in yourself" (maybe said you're real smart, you'll figure it out or something)

    I get all emotional and start crying. Wake up in tears.

    Dream 4 - False awakening, Pills

    I'm waking up in a small bedroom, different from where I sleep. I have that I just woke up now don't feel like it kind of feeling. Could have applied gravity RC here. I remember I gotta take my daily supplements for better brain and body. I look for the pills, knock them over with my feet. Looks kind of different, but takes it anyways. I see a mirror and look at myself. Nice butt. And I start having this orgasmic sensation. I think oh no I forgot! Usually this feeling wakes me up so, I wake up, continue getting the sensation and then wake up again.


    Analysis:

    Dream1. Highschool food prices being way too high bled over from memories back then. They were selling only junkfood at ridiculous prices. Store bought fries, refried, resold at ridiculous margins. 5 dollars for a little bit of fries. Wouldn't surprise me if they charged 10 nowadays.The place was ran by a middle aged lady with an ugly expression. Strong romanian nose and accent. Did not enjoy the food there. Kids should be fed better food. I recall during that time I watched a tv report about how delinquent kids were all sent to an experimental school. were fed nice nutritional diet for lunch and they were all transformed into exemplary students. But here it was just greed and laziness. Foods so stale that made mc'donalds taste fresh as sunshine. The establishment was just like a jail, little sun inside, very dungeon like with halls that looked identical and functioned exactly like a maze. I'm not sure who they'd bribed to get the reputation of being the top school in the area, that offered a special program for gifted children. Though I was not in the program, I was in a gifted program in a previous school but never told my parents about it. I just really didn't feel like doing the extra work haha. With many uninspired teachers, with dead-fish eyes staring at you, as if trying to leech your youth through their their eyes.

    Part of me held, a strong hatred for this place I think and I released it after I woke up. And things weren't all bad. We'd walk a mile two away to order fries from a family ran joint, fat fries, home made, nicely spiced. Cheese curds were placed on top, then lathered with hot gravy that melted these them and infusing them together into cheesy goodness. A friend had recommended the place to me and his style was to top the whole thing with black pepper until it was covered in the magnificent black dust of it. Sinuses flushed as waterfall from the nose of the fools who dared to try this foolish yet amazing delicacy.
    PEPPERCORN! From dream last night.

    It was probably important to release those emotions because, in

    Dream 3, I was attending a university lecture. And this is a big one, because none of my previous dreams took place in college. This could signify a kind of growth, or that I let go of something and could progress further emotionally, or dream realm wise. I'm growing and learning. Getting better at lucid dreaming. Dream characters telling me I can do it so I'm gonna do it!

    Dream2. Most likely signifies a relationship. Was in an abusive relationship I think. I still loved the person even though they were horrible. Not a fool though, I immediately cut off all ties once I had enough. But a subconscious part of me perhaps still held that. Tried to remember the times, let go of it. Could be totally unrelated though XD. Crappy experience in a crappy big city.

    Dream 4. I think this is big. At first I didn't notice anything and was disappointed in myself for not getting Lucid, I realized more was going on. First the Mirror. I always, always become lucid in every dream with a mirror, perhaps not immediately in one dream, but 100%. And also the orgasmic sensation, always makes me lucid as well and wakes me immediately after. These two indicates that I'm at the cusp of lucidity. In a way I might have been very teensy bit lucid. Just so small I didn't notice it myself at first. This means I''m getting Lucid. I'm stepping into daily lucidity! YES! MY FEET IS GETTING WET!

    More stuff I ought to write down and take notes but gotta go for now.

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    Comments

    1. ZenLD's Avatar
      The old lady in the dream 1 was the boss lady's grandma.

      Also forgot that I bought a phone towards the end of dream 1. It's a phone from the future. It had 2TB of storage, had android and another mobile OS system on it. Also had traditional desktop OS added so you could totally use it a PC. Phone of the future yep. IT COST ONLY $60,000 XD lol goodbye paycheck. Inflation is out of control. Also reminded to pay 30% tax by the grandma before the scene with the gang boss. I wasn't sure if I should buy it but the grandma told me to just buy it, like getting rid of dirty money.

      Taking supplements in dream 4, could indicate that I'm finally getting their full benefits. Never had a dream about it before, ever. Also, not truly waking from orgasmic sensation means I'm getting better handle on my emotion, so dreams will likely be more stable. Even though I woke when I cried in the other 2, the dream was about to end anyways I think.

      GRAVITY RC
      While meditating I was focusing mostly on the gravity RC. It works pretty well as a meditation method perhaps. Each time my thought drifted, I'd focus back on gravity rc, sometimes labelling, breathing deeply.

      MILD
      After I meditated a while I decided to do some mantras. Felt a teensy resistance and cleared it. While I was pepping myself up to a excited state in regards to LD, something happend.

      I was struck. A fear. Like real fear. The kind of you get when you are facing death. Is it fear? it's that sensation, you can't really describe it as simply fear. It's a sense of impending doom sort of but not quite. A feelings of premonition. Yes an uncomfortable premonition might be the best description.

      A premonition that came in a vision. It was a relatively empty room with very large window that showed a view outside, covering the edge of the room from the bottom of the floor to the top of the ceiling. And a feeling. The uncomfortable feeling described before. I saw myself viewing outside the window, it was dark.

      The feeling I had quickly transformed into a thought: A fear of hyper-realistic lucid dreams. So real that you'd have trouble distinguishing... It scared me a little. So I worked on that feeling. I assured myself that I wanted to do this, and wasn't this my goal in the first place? Wasn't I going to meet cool aliens, create suns, planets, taste unfathomably delicious foods and so much more?As I cleansed on this feeling of worry in my stomach, it transformed into a feeling of restless excitement - I'm

      I realized that I needed to be prepared. Gravity RC. I'll aim for 14 days, if I fail, then 15 days.
      Updated 03-29-2019 at 05:32 AM by ZenLD