Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

DC: NO! You were really good! Here, have some grapes!

Can't remember what I was good at, but it was worth it...

As a newcomer I have quite a lot to share. Keep in mind though that I'm Polish so those are translations, some of them not perfect or as funny as they sounded to me.

• In one non-lucid dream I was in a sort of Dinseyish fairytale-ish world with princesses and castles and stuff. And the land is in peril. Somebody has attacked the Velvet Lady (heck if I know) and the only clue was a velvet glove with a ring on it. The Shadow wants to take it (again - heck if I know). After he escapes, from the sky falls a little green marble which we (I don't know who exactly) squash with ease. Then the princess tells us we did wrong because that little green thing was a messenger trying to tell us that one of The Four Little Hooks opened the gate or something. I have no idea WTF.

• Another time I was shopping and they told me that they've run out of all the displayed items. Other time I was in the shop again and when I asked for a Lion the lady sighed and mumbled "Another one..." to herself.

• I had a lucid dream once in which my friend fell and twisted her ankle or something. Then a random young guy DC came up and started complaining that she's blocking his way to school - apparently he always takes a straight way, no matter what. Pretty stupid if you ask me.

• In the same lucid dream, a bit earlier I tried to fly. So I climbed the highest floor of my school and got into one of the classrooms with huge windows. My class was there and this one friend of mine was taking a test sitting next to the window. I opened the window and the dream was so realistic I got actually kind of afraid. I pointed out to the aforementioned friend that it's pretty high up, isn't it? And his answer wasn't very helpful - he asked me if the answer to the third question was "e". Yeah, his test was more important to him than me risking my life.

• There was also a dream in which me and my sister were having a friendly talk with Hercule Poirot (he had nothing to do with him but for some dream reason he was Hercule Poirot) and then suddenly a guy in the costume of Piglet from Winnie the Pooh barged in and told us "How can you just be laughing here, the war just started!". And our reaction was pretty much realistic - we started laughing even more at Piglet-person bringing such news. Well to his defence there was a costume party going on the lower floor of that plane.

• Oh and one of the greatest non-sequitors I've heard in my dreams was uttered by "Spider-man"'s Venom himself. Only he wasn't Venom as we know him, he was an obese middle-aged guy. Spiderman was exercising with him and then Venom feel from a tall building... And clearly in pain he mutters: "That's how it is when you're on a no-sugar diet".

• One of my non-lucid dreams actually invented a song in English, sung by characters from Winnie the Pooh. I woke up remembering the lyrics and the melody perfectly: "Tigger made a point, We're now good friends, we're best friends, u-oh-u-oh! Everybody leave me to learn! Yeah, everybody! 'Cause everybody leave me to learn, yeah!" Doesn't it just make perfect sense?

• Once I was going around solving a murder mystery AND watering people (yeah, as if they were plants, I dunno, it wasn't lucid). One of my female friends from high-school was against being watered (I have no idea why!) and she asked me when I last showered. And I said that it's not about me, it's about her. BTW about the murder mystery - the guy who was at first my primary suspect figured out the truth at the same time I did eventually.

• Another non-lucid was about me and some fictional characters (Team Rocket from Pokemon anime and Garfield's Jon Arbuckle for example) going into a huge castle in search for treasure. We dividing into groups and when we got out Meowth from Team Rocket proudly presented an ordinary rock he found, calling it "a fine relic from Stone Age, 199X" (I don't remember the exact year).

• One of my dreams ended with a weird sentence of which I forgot two words of... But whatever they were, they couldn't possibly make it make sense: "On ___ her ___ started growing a plum tree of hope". Seriously, a plum tree of hope, that's the greatest metaphor I've ever heard.

• Also one of my dream (another one in English) was about me watching a movie. A man opened a door and somebody standing behind it in the darkness stabbed him with a knife. The guy fell on the floor, dying and he wanted his dog to attack the killer. But the dog (who's name was literally just "Dog") didn't seem interested. The guy's dying words were "Dog... Agh... Shame on you dog... Dooogghhh". I believe we all want to die with such words.

• I'm often a total idiot in my non-lucid dreams as well. Once I had a "game" kind of dream and I couldn't go through a door because I didn't have enough points...? Another time my friend was attacked by two murderers and I spent the whole dream talking with a cop on my cellphone. Instead of sending help, the guy I was talking to kept asking me about such details as the length of the murderers' knives. And I was simply giving answers, instead of telling him to hurry the f*ck up!

Looking forward to more. That thread is truly incredible. ^^

Just woke up from a dream in which:

Me: "Hey, what's the time?"
DC: "Ten past."
Me: "Ten past what?"
DC: "Satan."

- where am I ?
DC: you're in a dream
- what am I doing here?
DC: you're dreaming
- who am I?
DC: you are... Alone


Not my dream, still funny though

While being aggressively seduced by a DC impersonating my boyfriend, I blinked 'help me' with eyelid Morse code to a DC woman passing by.
She broke out laughing.

In a dream with an attractive Female DC

DC: Stop trying to flirt with me

Me: I'm not trying to flirt with you

DC: Shut up and stop trying to flirt with me

I was in SP, a female DC sat on my bed next to me.

"It's silly how ridiculous it is.."

I have no idea what she was talking about.

In another part of my dream last night (a part I didn't write out in my DJ because I haven't had time today), there was a DC who recognized me as the dreamer. He called me "Auntie Video Games." I certainly never asked for or expected a title in my dream world, but if I'm going to have one, that's a good one. I like it.

Yesterday I clicked on a link a DV member posted 2 years ago and I have been laughing my ass of for the next couple of hours. It isn't exactly DC's talking but it is a blog about a man who talks in his sleep and says the most hilarious things. You should check it out; Sleep Talkin' Man

Originally Posted by Chicken

Yesterday I clicked on a link a DV member posted 2 years ago and I have been laughing my ass of for the next couple of hours. It isn't exactly DC's talking but it is a blog about a man who talks in his sleep and says the most hilarious things. You should check it out; Sleep Talkin' Man

This is just my speed. I'll have to share this with a group I belong to. It is about these two room mates who are now dead, but they used to drink and scream the most ridiculous things at each other. If you have any interest, it is Shut Up Little Man. Most people don't get it. I didn't get it at first. Wait for it though. There are one liners all over the place. I would link to it, but it is purely foul.

Thanks for the sleep-talking link. That's classic stuff.

"My fathers always told me, Son, if your ever in the dumpster, keep digging"

DC: "You're very pretty."
Me, all chill and cool, "Thank you."
DC: "And you speak really well. The only girls that ever like me are all stupid..."
Me: "Sounds like those are the only girls ever attracted to you."
DC: "Yeah --"
Me: "Sounds like you have a problem."

"AUUUGHH!" Sound of my boyfriend screaming for toilet paper from the men's bathroom.

Me: -_-

I get in a yard where is a guardian comfortably sitting on a chair, close to him, on the ground, there are some opossums, with their heads covered by the grown grass and their butts up with the tail raised to the sky. When I see the guy, right after watching the funny scene of these animals, he smiles and tells me: "Yeah! They are singing to the air!"

Me: Are you my friend?

DC: No, Im a bed, now move...

(person attempting to buy a My Little Pony at Target)
Casheir: I need an ID, since you're buying dangerous items

It has been nearly a year since my last post, so allow me to regale you all with new quotes.
Not many good ones have happened, but during my first night at University, I dreamt that I was dancing my way through a big shopping mall with Will Smith, and we did a different dance that fitted the 'atmosphere' of the shop we were in. For example, we did a cool techno shuffle through a clothing store to avoid a security guard. But the best bit was we started juggling things as we entered the next shop, while rapping to each other. We went like this:
"Maximisin'!"
"Super Stlyin'!"
"'Lluminisin'!"
"Mesmerisin'!"
"And Surprisin'!"

While having a nightmare inside a bathroom covered with blood and gore,
DC: "I guess someone can't flush."

This one dream had a Tim Burton feel to it with the moon lit night. i find myself sitting with a giant oversized grey tabby cat draped over my lap. I ask the cat why it was that i couldnt use telepathy on others and it said telepathically "it is because you aren't listening"

My DCs like to swear at me

I once told my mom that I was dreaming and that she wasn't real. Her response: "You're full of sh*t." as she continued to wash clothes in the bathroom sink...

Me, my sister, and one of our friends were standing next to a river. They wanted to swim but I didn't. After telling them this several times, they both say, "Stop being such a b*tch!" and push me into the river. I smashed my head into a rock and woke up.

There isn't usually any dialogue in my dreams, though.

Random DC approaches me and starts blabbering.

Me: What?
DC: You know, that guy from Death Note.
Me: What about him?
DC: He's hiding under that table. He's drawing apples. *points to a blank spot on the wall*
Me: There's no table over there.
DC: Of course there is! You're so stupid. How can you not see it?
Me: Sorry, I just can't. Maybe you're special.
DC: No, that's not right! I'm you! I'm a part of you. *moment of silence* Oh, well. Maybe I am special. Or maybe you just suck. *throws his shoe at me*
Me: *staring speechless*

Originally Posted by makeastar

Random DC approaches me and starts blabbering.

Me: What?
DC: You know, that guy from Death Note.
Me: What about him?
DC: He's hiding under that table. He's drawing apples. *points to a blank spot on the wall*
Me: There's no table over there.
DC: Of course there is! You're so stupid. How can you not see it?
Me: Sorry, I just can't. Maybe you're special.
DC: No, that's not right! I'm you! I'm a part of you. *moment of silence* Oh, well. Maybe I am special. Or maybe you just suck. *throws his shoe at me*
Me: *staring speechless*

Well played subconscious, well played.

I'm at a kids playground and walk up to a guy standing there and say: You can't be here, this is the women's playground, you'll have to go the men's playground

female DC (looking at my bra straps which are showing): Wow, where did you get that bra??
Me: Hey, I pay you to be my therapist, not my fashion consultant!
(we both break out laughing)

Me (lucid): AAAAAH!
DC: What?
Me: Sorry, your face just looked really weird there for a second.

DC (talking about a cake for me): But next time, if you want the kale, you need to order like two weeks in advance.

DC (picking a solidified icicle thing off a hanging chemical shower thingie): Ever since 1969, schools have had toxic chemicals in them.
Me: Why are you touching that, then?
DC: This is from before the 60's, so we just escaped it.

I tried to also write down the crazy stuff a disembodied female voice was saying in my dream tonight, but unfortunately I was writing on dream paper so I can't quite remember it now :-(

In a dream not too long ago I was ordering a meal in a McDonalds restaurant. Having ordered the food, I then asked for some tomato ketchup. The person at the serving desk must have been expecting the drink to come next, as they said:
"You can't drink tomato ketchup."
Had I been lucid at the time, I probably would have answered: "Watch me!" and then downed a whole bottle of the stuff, but that didn't happen.