Thread: Rape Dreams?

Originally Posted by MikalMan

What usually happens is that I'm having a normal dream and then so and so things happen and I become lucid. Naturally, the first idea that occurs to me is "Let's go have dream sex". Then I go off and find some chick to do it with. Unfortunately, I'm still a n00b at dream control, so I can't really summon up a willing dream character yet. So, I force the person I do find, and voila: dream rape

That is not Lucidity. It is just wanting sex. Why don't you just masturbate if you get overly horny?

Earlier this year I actually did have a rather upsetting dream, that I had been raped and was seeking revenge on my attacker.
Thankfully I've never been raped IWL, but it happens to be my worst fear, so the dream really disturbed me.
It really stayed with me upon awakening too, at first I thought it had really happened.
Fortunately, I was able to let it go after I posted it in my Dream Journal - it felt good to share it. Someone even left a sympathetic comment on it.
This is one of the numerous reasons why I respect & appreciate this particular online community. =) Anyway, it's still in my Dream Journal if anyone wishes to read it. I didn't write anything graphic.

Also... Flying Spaghetti Monster: Thank you SO MUCH for that picture, I've been having a wonderful day and that officially made it perfect!!
And Mancon: LOL OWLS!! =)
One more thing... I understand if no one wants to tell me this, but what was the original title of this thread? I read the remarks above, and I was just curious.

Lol, eldante. I have to admit, my dream contol isn't very good, but you have a pretty slim view of what lucidity is.

Originally Posted by eldante

That is not Lucidity. It is just wanting sex. Why don't you just masturbate if you get overly horny?

lucid dreaming is when you know that you are dreaming, nothing else

Did someone change the original title of the thread? How do I know who is about what when other people change the words of others?

Originally Posted by eldante

That is not Lucidity. It is just wanting sex. Why don't you just masturbate if you get overly horny?

If you know you're dreaming, you're lucid. So yes, that is lucidity.

Originally Posted by eldante

Did someone change the original title of the thread? How do I know who is about what when other people change the words of others?

Read the posts made by the DV staff on the first page of this thread.

Originally Posted by eldante

Did someone change the original title of the thread? How do I know who is about what when other people change the words of others?

I changed the title. The original title was misleading, and so I changed it to something more appropriate. Only staff members can change other people's posts, and they only do it if they have a good reason.

Originally Posted by eldante

Did someone change the original title of the thread? How do I know who is about what when other people change the words of others?

the title was kinda offensive, so it got changed. The thread title still shows what the thread is about.

mayflow all over again

I always make a flirty comment and then the DC gets my drift and I take her where ever. It's a very good technique. Just talk to them and they'll probably be more than willing, just don't grab them and start trying to have sex with them yet.

So you remove my post, but you let these others stay.
I'm not really mad about it...it's just that next time you want to show favoritism, try to be a little more discreet about it. Otherwise you'll just look like an asshole, unless that's the look you're? going for.

Originally Posted by greenhavoc

So you remove my post, but you let these others stay.
I'm not really mad about it...it's just that next time you want to show favoritism, try to be a little more discreet about it. Otherwise you'll just look like an asshole, unless that's the look you're? going for.

I deleted all the off topic spam. Yours and about 5 other peoples. I'm not showing favoritism, I just asked for people to stay on topic.

Edit: If you want to talk to me about if more, send a PM.

Yeah, I'll pass.
Later

I bet you liked it

my dreams often have rape

Originally Posted by Raetin

I always make a flirty comment and then the DC gets my drift and I take her where ever. It's a very good technique. Just talk to them and they'll probably be more than willing, just don't grab them and start trying to have sex with them yet.

That sounds very gentlemanlike. =) I agree, I've never liked the idea of being aggressive toward DCs you want to have sex with. And I like it when they're not aggressive with me! In sharp contrast to the dream in which I was raped, my first attempt at lucid sex was with a very non-aggressive DC: He didn't grab me or say anything at all. I merely noticed he was in the room with me, and the next time I looked at him, he was half-naked and laying on top of a desk, patiently waiting for me. (I dream journaled that one as well) I do like intensity and heat, but I'm just not into aggressive behavior, not even in lucid dreams.

I've been raped more than once in a dream and I can't figure out why.. It's not all that bad because I don't experience the physical or emotional pain much since its not real.. but its still really disturbing. :/

I've debated posting this for some time now. It almost feels too personal - too revealing. And I'm not sure quite what is revealed by it. But I don't think it's good.

I had a few dreams in which I committed rape.

And looking back, I'm not sure but I might have been lucid in them. This was before I really knew what lucidity was, though I had experienced it randomly a couple times. In these sex dreams though if I was lucid it was with an extremely low level of awareness.. in fact the only reason I say I might have been lucid was because of a sudden surge of excitement, which might have been more because of the sex or just a part of the dream itself.

The dreams were all pretty similar so I'll just generally describe them.

It would start with finding myself in an undefined space facing a woman. It seems like the dreams started this way. or at least now I can't remember if anything led up to this. So, I find myself before a woman and I experience a sudden overwhelming surge of excitement and decide I'm going to just grab her and start having my way with her. Writing this now, it sure does sound like I might have been lucid.

So anyway, I grab and I start forcing myself on her... and yes, the more I remember this the more I believe I must have been lucid - I certainly didn't believe it was a real life situation... the reason I got excited and decided to do this is because I knew it was a dream and there could be no real harm to anyone. Still I don't feel good about it.

Anyway, the main thing about these dreams - I always hated they way they end. They never lasted more than a few seconds... just long enough for the woman to look me right in the eye and get a growing look of horror and revulsion on her face and her body would grow cold and immobile. It was basically as if she died right there in my arms horrified at what I was doing to her. I would always wake up immediately afterwards and feel terrible. I wondered what the hell was wrong with me that I would dream such a terrible thing, and I'd feel depressed and awful for the entire day if not longer.

Originally Posted by ElsiaStar

I've been raped more than once in a dream and I can't figure out why.. It's not all that bad because I don't experience the physical or emotional pain much since its not real.. but its still really disturbing. :/

I feel for you, I really do. I only had that kind of dream once, but I found it extremely disturbing as well. Do you currently fear having the same dream?
I ask because I bought Stephen LaBerge's book "Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming," and in it he mentions the idea that a frightening dream only repeats itself if we really fear having it again. I'm certainly no expert on the subject, but the idea makes sense to me. As awful as my rape dream was, I was so relieved it wasn't real that I wasn't concerned about having it again, so it doesn't surprise me that I haven't.
Anyway, if you continue having those dreams, perhaps you can become lucid in one and confront it.

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

I've debated posting this for some time now. It almost feels too personal - too revealing. And I'm not sure quite what is revealed by it. But I don't think it's good.

I had a few dreams in which I committed rape.

And looking back, I'm not sure but I might have been lucid in them. This was before I really knew what lucidity was, though I had experienced it randomly a couple times. In these sex dreams though if I was lucid it was with an extremely low level of awareness.. in fact the only reason I say I might have been lucid was because of a sudden surge of excitement, which might have been more because of the sex or just a part of the dream itself.

The dreams were all pretty similar so I'll just generally describe them.

It would start with finding myself in an undefined space facing a woman. It seems like the dreams started this way. or at least now I can't remember if anything led up to this. So, I find myself before a woman and I experience a sudden overwhelming surge of excitement and decide I'm going to just grab her and start having my way with her. Writing this now, it sure does sound like I might have been lucid.

So anyway, I grab and I start forcing myself on her... and yes, the more I remember this the more I believe I must have been lucid - I certainly didn't believe it was a real life situation... the reason I got excited and decided to do this is because I knew it was a dream and there could be no real harm to anyone. Still I don't feel good about it.

Anyway, the main thing about these dreams - I always hated they way they end. They never lasted more than a few seconds... just long enough for the woman to look me right in the eye and get a growing look of horror and revulsion on her face and her body would grow cold and immobile. It was basically as if she died right there in my arms horrified at what I was doing to her. I would always wake up immediately afterwards and feel terrible. I wondered what the hell was wrong with me that I would dream such a terrible thing, and I'd feel depressed and awful for the entire day if not longer.

I think it's good that you shared that, especially if you've never told anyone before. You may feel like a weight has been lifted - I hope that's the case.
I don't think those dreams say anything bad about you, considering that you had such a negative and deeply felt emotional reaction to what you did in the dreams. If you enjoyed having those dreams, and looked forward to them, that would be alarming. And most obviously, if you acted out those events in waking life, that would be very, very bad. I don't know you, but the fact that you felt depressed about the dreams tells me there's nothing intrinsically bad or violent about you.
Do you still have them? As I mentioned in my reply to ElsiaStar above, one possible explanation for having an upsetting dream repeatedly is that you may have been afraid of having it again. I hope you don't suffer from them anymore. Even if you don't, if it bothers you enough, there's nothing wrong with talking to a therapist or someone like that. Or perhaps now that you've shared it, you'll be just fine. =)
I haven't been very active in this forum in the past year, but I do get a sense that most people here are mature and understanding, and I applaud you for being brave enough to share this with us.

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

I've debated posting this for some time now. It almost feels too personal - too revealing. And I'm not sure quite what is revealed by it. But I don't think it's good.

I had a few dreams in which I committed rape.

And looking back, I'm not sure but I might have been lucid in them. This was before I really knew what lucidity was, though I had experienced it randomly a couple times. In these sex dreams though if I was lucid it was with an extremely low level of awareness.. in fact the only reason I say I might have been lucid was because of a sudden surge of excitement, which might have been more because of the sex or just a part of the dream itself.

The dreams were all pretty similar so I'll just generally describe them.

It would start with finding myself in an undefined space facing a woman. It seems like the dreams started this way. or at least now I can't remember if anything led up to this. So, I find myself before a woman and I experience a sudden overwhelming surge of excitement and decide I'm going to just grab her and start having my way with her. Writing this now, it sure does sound like I might have been lucid.

So anyway, I grab and I start forcing myself on her... and yes, the more I remember this the more I believe I must have been lucid - I certainly didn't believe it was a real life situation... the reason I got excited and decided to do this is because I knew it was a dream and there could be no real harm to anyone. Still I don't feel good about it.

Anyway, the main thing about these dreams - I always hated they way they end. They never lasted more than a few seconds... just long enough for the woman to look me right in the eye and get a growing look of horror and revulsion on her face and her body would grow cold and immobile. It was basically as if she died right there in my arms horrified at what I was doing to her. I would always wake up immediately afterwards and feel terrible. I wondered what the hell was wrong with me that I would dream such a terrible thing, and I'd feel depressed and awful for the entire day if not longer.

If you don't know its a dream, I'd say that its slightly disturbing.. but even then, you are not truly yourself. Some times you can be reduced to your Id, and do pretty much whatever you feel like. I think its safe to say, we've all done something shameful or disturbing in our non-lucid dreams... but this is normal, and you aren't always yourself.

When you are lucid, I see no problem with forcing a DC to do whatever. I've also done this before, and yes I've seen the horrified and scared expressions. Some may find this disturbing, but I actually find it sort of funny. Now, real rape is anything but funny - let me put that out there. Its a horrible horrible thing, and it does a lot of emotional damage. I would never wish it on anyone, nor do I think its something to laugh about... but this isn't really rape. Obviously, there is no one there except you. That scared look, the attempt to get away, the struggle... its all just a fabrication. So, why do I find it funny? Well, its sort of weird that your mind goes through all the trouble to do that... it makes so little sense, its sort of comical.

It reminds me of when I played Duke Nukem as a teenager. There'd be a room with strippers, where you could give them money... and if you shot them, they blew up and money fell out. There was absolutely no point to that, and I thought it was hilarious. I still chuckle when I think back to that. That being said, I am very strongly against the killing of strippers. I would never even contemplate killing a stripper, nor do I find killing a real stripper funny in any way... but its a video game... and so is your dream!

Most people think morals are rooted in religion. They aren't. Its about not doing to things to others that you wouldn't want happen to you. It makes society work. If we didn't follow moral codes, and just did what ever we wanted, so would everyone else... and then the world would be a miserable place for everyone. In other words, its about who you hurt... and you aren't hurting anyone in your sleep.

If I felt guilty for the things I did in my dreams... boy oh boy, would I dread going to sleep. I think its a great sport to try and fry as many little dream characters as I can. I throw them, I electricute them, I shoot them. I make Stalin look like a nice friendly guy... whats the harm? It can be really entertaining some times.

I guess my point is that if you feel guilty for doing something to your own imaginary creation, you are missing the point. Your actions are literally 100% disconnected from everyone else in the world. Moral rules don't apply... and don't feel bad for your imaginary dream character! They are you (technically you can't rape yourself). Just don't do any of this in real life, and you'll be fine.

Thank You!!

I do feel a bit like a weight has been lifted, but I'm also waiting to see the reaction here. Well I have a pretty good idea what one particular person's reaction will be, but I won't pay that one any mind.

I wish I had been keeping a dream journal when I had these dreams. It's possible I might even have been... I have been journaling for many years and usually wrote down any unusual dreams. But I doubt I could find them now in the sprawling mess of old journals - I'm not at all sure even what year it would have been.

In dredging up these unpleasant memories, I now remember that one or two of these dreams didn't even involve any kind of penetration... only kissing. I just essentially wrapped my arms around her and started kissing her and she fixed me with that horrified look and died in my arms. I only remember having dreams like this 3 times. But thanks to a screwed up childhood my head has always been filled with negativity about sex and intimacy and I was essentially raised to believe that any sexual contact (hell, any contact at all between man and woman) was rape and that forcible castration was a suitable punishment.

It's only in recent years that I've started to deal with this screwed-up upbringing and the damage it did to me. As a result of it I've had very little in the way of relationships or sex and have always carried a strong guilt complex about it. I believe those dreams were in part a reflection of that guilt complex.

Strangely, much more recently I had a similar dream that did involve penetration. But the ending was different this time and the overall feel was much better. It began the same way - I found myself facing her and I moved toward her and began to wrap my arms around her. But this time the feeling was that it wasn't unwelcome. I won't go into explicit details, but there was penetration - there were little clothes involved to begin with and things just sort of - slid together almost magnetically so to speak. We were standing face to face embracing. Lol weird position, but this one felt like a reconciling... as if my subconscious has now forgiven me or I've managed to throw off the guilt complex and so now sex and intimacy no longer caused agony and death on the part of my female partner. I woke from this one feeling invigorated and fantastic as you can imagine.

And now that this thread has let me put these dreams into perspective I feel a lot better about it all.

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

Thank You!!

I do feel a bit like a weight has been lifted, but I'm also waiting to see the reaction here. Well I have a pretty good idea what one particular person's reaction will be, but I won't pay that one any mind.

Well, I wouldn't worry about any people who judge you harshly. In my experience, people who often judge other people negatively are the worst offenders..

It's only in recent years that I've started to deal with this screwed-up upbringing and the damage it did to me. As a result of it I've had very little in the way of relationships or sex and have always carried a strong guilt complex about it. I believe those dreams were in part a reflection of that guilt complex.

I can definitely relate to the damage a screwed-up home can bring... I know its hard not to feel pain and guilt, but if you can convince yourself that it was out of your hands and not your fault... it gets a lot easier.

I hope your mind is at ease..

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

Thank You!!

I do feel a bit like a weight has been lifted, but I'm also waiting to see the reaction here. Well I have a pretty good idea what one particular person's reaction will be, but I won't pay that one any mind.

I wish I had been keeping a dream journal when I had these dreams. It's possible I might even have been... I have been journaling for many years and usually wrote down any unusual dreams. But I doubt I could find them now in the sprawling mess of old journals - I'm not at all sure even what year it would have been.

In dredging up these unpleasant memories, I now remember that one or two of these dreams didn't even involve any kind of penetration... only kissing. I just essentially wrapped my arms around her and started kissing her and she fixed me with that horrified look and died in my arms. I only remember having dreams like this 3 times. But thanks to a screwed up childhood my head has always been filled with negativity about sex and intimacy and I was essentially raised to believe that any sexual contact (hell, any contact at all between man and woman) was rape and that forcible castration was a suitable punishment.

It's only in recent years that I've started to deal with this screwed-up upbringing and the damage it did to me. As a result of it I've had very little in the way of relationships or sex and have always carried a strong guilt complex about it. I believe those dreams were in part a reflection of that guilt complex.

Strangely, much more recently I had a similar dream that did involve penetration. But the ending was different this time and the overall feel was much better. It began the same way - I found myself facing her and I moved toward her and began to wrap my arms around her. But this time the feeling was that it wasn't unwelcome. I won't go into explicit details, but there was penetration - there were little clothes involved to begin with and things just sort of - slid together almost magnetically so to speak. We were standing face to face embracing. Lol weird position, but this one felt like a reconciling... as if my subconscious has now forgiven me or I've managed to throw off the guilt complex and so now sex and intimacy no longer caused agony and death on the part of my female partner. I woke from this one feeling invigorated and fantastic as you can imagine.

And now that this thread has let me put these dreams into perspective I feel a lot better about it all.

Yes, now that you've added that background I can see how you might arrive at those kinds of dreams. Sexual intimacy really is a beautiful, amazing thing; I regard it as something to cherish. But then I didn't have the same upbringing you did. It sounds to me like you're on the right track - you're getting a more balanced perspective and are making a point of adjusting a long-standing, unhealthy viewpoint that was instilled in you, and you will certainly benefit from these positive changes, as your more positive recent dream seems to indicate. And again, don't hesitate to seek help if you feel you could benefit from it. Life is beautiful, so make sure you live the best you can. =)

Originally Posted by AgentSmith

Well, I wouldn't worry about any people who judge you harshly. In my experience, people who often judge other people negatively are the worst offenders..



I can definitely relate to the damage a screwed-up home can bring... I know its hard not to feel pain and guilt, but if you can convince yourself that it was out of your hands and not your fault... it gets a lot easier.

I hope your mind is at ease..

Dude, you are entirely too cool to be named for a soulless and evil bit of programming

And WaterDreamer, thank you once again! <not a sexual thing AT ALL!!

Originally Posted by AgentSmith

Well, I wouldn't worry about any people who judge you harshly. In my experience, people who often judge other people negatively are the worst offenders..

Quite right...

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

And WaterDreamer, thank you once again! <not a sexual thing AT ALL!!

LOL! You're very welcome.

How is this title misleading?
All it says is "rape dreams"
What else is OP supposed to title it?