Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

That's ok just try to concentrate on the anxiety with an accepting and curious attitude. The meditation shouldn't have to resist anything in order to work, it's an embracing focus on everything that is to let a birds eye view of it emerge. Once feelings like anxiety become objects of awareness, their power over you starts to dissolve because they're no longer unquestioned assumptions of awareness.

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

Head pounding, mouth tastes nasty, chest pangs, soreness, fear.... Fucking anxiety. I've been thinking about drugs more and more too which isn't helping at all, I really need to take control of my thoughts.... Blech.

How are you feeling now Aly? Any idea what's causing the anxiety? Will be good if you find out the source and confront it. Remember me and my OCD? And all those extreme thoughts and obscene thoughts whenever I'm looking at a photo and trying to type something? I tried talking to you and I tried talking to my mum about it, my mum decided not to give me any respond because she doesn't know what to say without hurting me any more.

Go out for a peaceful walk, maybe it'll help?

I think I'm feeling better about my OCD after I did all those, but I'm still keen on ridding it off and I found a book online, not sure if it'll help me.

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

I'd be willing to take a look. I do try meditating every now and then, I'm just not always able to hold concentration through the anxiety. :/

I get what you mean there.

-----

Been feeling restless these past few days, might be a combined result of getting mad over virtual people, bad just pass results, no idea what to do in the future, and problems finding a job.

And I'm feeling very tired. Bad sleeping pattern? And I still need to do some unfinished school work, even though I graduated. Freaking graduation show, worthless piece of shit that I bought. I feel too ashamed to meet people with my terrible grades.

Go for walks, or get a bike. I sort of got/get over walks after a few days, but I've been riding most days now since I started a few weeks ago. It's really freeing + good exercise.
I feel so much better than I did just a month ago. I also gave up smoking, but only for one day. Still that was a big accomplishment. Shows how much exercise has helped me.

When you meditate, as wayfaerer said, you shouldn't be trying to concentrate on something else. You can do that by taking drugs.
It is more beneficial to focus on the anxiety, or any problem, and put your attention on it. This separates "you" from the feeling, so it is no longer your whole awareness/consciousness.

I've just been listening to Tolle too On this 1 Giant Leap DVD called What About Me

Aly. I hope you're feeling much better today.

I'm ranting because I'm still sleepy and I have a terrible headache. Snuffanuff got into the same smelly something again and once again rubbed it off on Meesha. I took both of them into the shower with me. I kicked him out first, then Meesha then I finished *my* shower. When I got out, I discovered Snuffanuff had jumped out the bedroom window. It's almost a 7 feet drop and he jumps it all the freagin time now that it's getting warm and my son keeps the window open.
I forgot all about it

Grrr... now zones 4 and 1 are going off... Who's here?

**EDIT**
It was just my hubby's friend Scott. He's back in town for a couple weeks then he'll be disappearing to New York again.

I might take a nap now

I'm back from California.

To all those people I encountered on the road...what does "Slower Traffic Keep Right" mean to you?
































































More rants, love, and pictures to come soon!

My forth finger on my right hand feels weird, must be because I've been pressing keyboard keys for too long. Bleah, I was testing the game I had made for months and I think, IT'S FINALLY DONE!!! I DON'T CARE WHAT THE LECTURERS SAY ABOUT IT ANY MORE, TO ME IT'S DONE!!!! I'll be darned if one more bug appears.

My turkey spilled his food bowl...again.

He also keeps hiding out on the back porch, and then he poops. Alot.

Silly bird.

This thread seems like ownage. I might have to post a rant here soon. But it's a bit late now, so I'll save this for sometime soon (when I finally get some free time -.- <---- First complaint right there)

been painting the house all day, being forced to listen to my sister's crap music.

She has some sort of obsession with Taylor Swift.
I'm saturating my head with my music now... so much better...

Originally Posted by Carrot

My forth finger on my right hand feels weird, must be because I've been pressing keyboard keys for too long. Bleah, I was testing the game I had made for months and I think, IT'S FINALLY DONE!!! I DON'T CARE WHAT THE LECTURERS SAY ABOUT IT ANY MORE, TO ME IT'S DONE!!!! I'll be darned if one more bug appears.

You program? Damn... there are a lot of programmers in DV, lol.

I'm stuck in a strange state of simultaneous energization and exhaustion... I don't know what to do with it. But hopefully I'll be able to kick myself in the arse and clean this place up. It looks like a dump, and has for a while now. I cannot allow it to remain this way any longer.

I just walked in on my son...

I'm not walking in on my son again.

Puffin! Just read your post...ROFL! That was awesome. I would have liked that on Facebook too How did she react to that?

Oh god why. I signed up for some volunteer program at the library tutoring kids, and I had to call the parents to set up times. I was so nervous I was going to mess up and say something stupid because I'm an antisocial idiot. I thought it went somewhat well, though I stuttered a bit and tried to avoid using the kid's name because I have NO idea how to pronounce it. Sounds like an Indian name but then when I called (they didn't pick up) the person who left the answering machine message sounded either British or Australian. I had to leave a message. Then my mom who overheard from the hallway asked me if I left my cellphone number (which I was currently using to leave that message). I told her it should be okay, since I just called from my cell phone but she insisted that I leave ANOTHER message. I felt like such an idiot. I was all "OH, I SHOULD PROBABLY HAVE LEFT MY CELLPHONE NUMBER, LAWL!!1 HERE IT IS!" Now I'm so scared to pick up the phone every time it rings, and just now I got another automated message about some school basketball game. Why did I even sign up for thisssss...

@Pensive Patrick, I so wish you the best. Your rant made me think of one I've been debating for a while now whether I should post or not.

I just need to...I just want to...*sigh*...I have issues with my father, and I still am not sure I want to write them out.

I don't say a lot of things I probably need to say.

Originally Posted by melanieb

I just walked in on my son...

I'm not walking in on my son again.

Spoiler for Holy Muffins:

This is how I'm interpreting this scenario.


Melanieb: Hey Johnny, I've got something to tell you,

Johnny:



Melanieb:

lkjgcisdfkghjdfig459694t5943igjekmvdfbdgdgvkdhjg

*dies*

Sorry, I just had to do that.


@Taffy, at least it'll look good if you're applying to a college/University.

LOL melanie. I think it's funny how embarrassing it is for both parties. It's the most natural thing there is, but for some reason it's deathly embarrassing.
Don't walk in while he's in the shower either, and possible the toilet. He'll get more sneaky now probably. I had to have baths everyday for a while there.

My rant is that my boss fucking rings me every Wed/Thur to ask me to work on Thursday. Either get another driver or ask me if I can work every Thursday from now on!
I didn't get her msg last night until after 12, which said to "get back to me today" (yesterday), so I'm just going to ignore it I think.
If she asks I'll say I only saw it this morning, figured she would have found someone to work by now anyway.

12:30 is still this morning right?

Anyway, I need another job sooooooooooo fucking bad. I hate this shit. It's probably like the lowest job you could have, so that's the main reason.
But it's also just dirty and boring. Oh and horrible money. I'm ranting too much about it now though. I need to enjoy my last day off before I have to waste another weekend working.

Originally Posted by melanieb

I just walked in on my son...

I'm not walking in on my son again.

I hated my last job for 8.5 of the 10.5 years I worked there. Well, not every moment, but mainly because of one of my coworkers who never liked me.

And the pay sucked.

But the benefits were awesome!

I so need a new job.

As for my son...I asked him to just shut his door or tell me he wants "alone time" so I know to leave him alone for a while, even if he is just reading and not doing anything else.

Every time you want to hang out I get all ready and shit and you blow me off for your girlfriends (of whom you've never maintained for even 6 months) and then have the audacity to bitch and moan about us never hanging out.

Originally Posted by Castles

Every time you want to hang out I get all ready and shit and you blow me off for your girlfriends (of whom you've never maintained for even 6 months) and then have the audacity to bitch and moan about us never hanging out.

And I hate when people tell others they barely know personally, but just knowing by seeing them almost everyday

"Oh my god, we never hung out before!

This summer, we should TOTALLY hang out"

And they never do it! It's like saying, "Hey, I think I might be lonely during vacation, so you're on my list of "Hey, you'll do for now if I'm lonely!"

It's like they're saying "HEY! I'm cool, and I'm willing to be cool enough to go with YOU, yes YOU buddy ol' pal, ol' friend."

And people who don't have a stable relationship with others, I mean, you're free to date people and experiment with what you actually want, but if they start forgetting their friends, they're so going to fuck up the friendships that they have.

Some people just don't...plan thing out.

Castles. :3

Originally Posted by melanieb

I hated my last job for 8.5 of the 10.5 years I worked there. Well, not every moment, but mainly because of one of my coworkers who never liked me.

And the pay sucked.

But the benefits were awesome!

I so need a new job.

As for my son...I asked him to just shut his door or tell me he wants "alone time" so I know to leave him alone for a while, even if he is just reading and not doing anything else.

What job do you have now?

Expect to hear "I'm gonna be reading for a while" a few times a day
At least you have the parenting skills to address the issue. My mum just continued to walk in on me, at least 3 times. Never said a word.

And fuck, I just messaged my boss back asking if she still needs me to come in, thinking it would be too late now, she would have already gotten someone. I just don't want to piss her off, coz I put her on my resume as a work reference and I'm looking for a new job.
But she said yes....

I have English and then a driving lesson next and i'm sleepy AF. On the other hand, i had a nice lucid this morning.

Originally Posted by Linkzelda41

And I hate when people tell others they barely know personally, but just knowing by seeing them almost everyday

"Oh my god, we never hung out before!

This summer, we should TOTALLY hang out"

And they never do it! It's like saying, "Hey, I think I might be lonely during vacation, so you're on my list of "Hey, you'll do for now if I'm lonely!"

It's like they're saying "HEY! I'm cool, and I'm willing to be cool enough to go with YOU, yes YOU buddy ol' pal, ol' friend."

And people who don't have a stable relationship with others, I mean, you're free to date people and experiment with what you actually want, but if they start forgetting their friends, they're so going to fuck up the friendships that they have.

Some people just don't...plan thing out.

Castles. :3

I've known this kid since kindergarten and I've considered him one of my closest friends up until the middle of last year actually. I mean don't get me wrong he's a great guy with great qualities but when he gets girlfriends he puts all the focus on them and forgets about everything else when she wants to do something. Excuse my language but it's like no bitch I already had plans you're going to have to wait.

I am so mad omg.
I missed you. >