Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Weeks ago i received a call back for a job, it was on my voicemail and i listened to it...the woman said if i'm interested for an interview she can make an appointment and will put my resume/application on file for the manager.
I'm like what?? You just gave me the whole damn answer before i even get to call back!
NO THANKS! NEVER CALLED BACK! THAT WAS SO UNCALLED FOR!
I'm not going to be on a waiting list!

Originally Posted by hathor28

Weeks ago i received a call back for a job, it was on my voicemail and i listened to it...the woman said if i'm interested for an interview she can make an appointment and will put my resume/application on file for the manager.
I'm like what?? You just gave me the whole damn answer before i even get to call back!
NO THANKS! NEVER CALLED BACK! THAT WAS SO UNCALLED FOR!
I'm not going to be on a waiting list!

Maybe I'm missing something here, but how was that a bad thing? She said she can set something up, and to call back if you were interested. Even if you go on a waiting list, it's better than nothing, right? =/
-----
Weird ache/pain in my left side, above the hip and beside the stomach. Been there for a few days, going to have to get it checked tomorrow.

body, y u no healthy?!?!?!?!

I had a bit of a breakdown, well two or three, over the last few weeks, but I'm doing better now. I think I stuffed things down for too long and they just bubbled up and the emotions spilled over. My anxiety was really bad a few days ago, but it's almost completely gone right now. I'm at school atm and I haven't felt nervous at all so far, usually I'm a little antsy when I'm around so many people.

Also, I look damn good in this new casual coat. I don't usually dress up but I think I might start doing so from now on, people seem to be a lot nicer when you look good. I'm getting a much warmer response from people dressed like this (casual coat, button-up, nice khakis/chinos, suede shoes) than i usually do (when wearing a hoodie, runners, etc). Girls have been smiling more than and really leaning in during conversations, and guys have sort of been more... submissive? Idk if that's the right word, but it feels like people are taking me much more seriously today. Is this honestly all it takes - simply dressing nicely? .____o

Dear best friend, if you don't want your door getting stabbed don't invite crazy people to your house

Oh ya, i received my 7 chakras bracelet last week... love it

Originally Posted by GavinGill

Maybe I'm missing something here, but how was that a bad thing? She said she can set something up, and to call back if you were interested. Even if you go on a waiting list, it's better than nothing, right? =/
-----
Weird ache/pain in my left side, above the hip and beside the stomach. Been there for a few days, going to have to get it checked tomorrow.

body, y u no healthy?!?!?!?!

I had a bit of a breakdown, well two or three, over the last few weeks, but I'm doing better now. I think I stuffed things down for too long and they just bubbled up and the emotions spilled over. My anxiety was really bad a few days ago, but it's almost completely gone right now. I'm at school atm and I haven't felt nervous at all so far, usually I'm a little antsy when I'm around so many people.


Also, I look damn good in this new casual coat. I don't usually dress up but I think I might start doing so from now on, people seem to be a lot nicer when you look good. I'm getting a much warmer response from people dressed like this (casual coat, button-up, nice khakis/chinos, suede shoes) than i usually do (when wearing a hoodie, runners, etc). Girls have been smiling more than and really leaning in during conversations, and guys have sort of been more... submissive? Idk if that's the right word, but it feels like people are taking me much more seriously today. Is this honestly all it takes - simply dressing nicely? .____o

It's just the way she said it, usual waiting lists go more than 6months, and they keep your resume only for 3-6months on file, then discard it...so really what's the point?
Usual calls from jobs they just tell me to call back for an appointment, that's it. They don't say they will forward/put in the file to the manager, it sounds too lame and it gives you hints about the company and how willing or not willing they are for workers.

... now i feel sick to my stomach uncovering the truth from my dream....i feel sick

Hathor, that's not at all what that means. She probably means she gave your resume to the manager. At least that's what it sounded like to me.

She probably wouldn't have asked you to call back for an interview if you were going to go on a waiting list. It's very unlikely anyway.

Originally Posted by GavinGill

Also, I look damn good in this new casual coat. I don't usually dress up but I think I might start doing so from now on, people seem to be a lot nicer when you look good. I'm getting a much warmer response from people dressed like this (casual coat, button-up, nice khakis/chinos, suede shoes) than i usually do (when wearing a hoodie, runners, etc). Girls have been smiling more than and really leaning in during conversations, and guys have sort of been more... submissive? Idk if that's the right word, but it feels like people are taking me much more seriously today. Is this honestly all it takes - simply dressing nicely? .____o

Tell me about it. Dressing up for interviews, I've realised how much of a difference it makes. I in turn feel better as well because I get more positive associations.
I think maybe that actually is all it takes. It sucks that I could care less about clothes lol Still gonna wear my hand-me-downs and $5 clothes when I'm not going out.
But I think when I go out for the day anyway, I will wear nice clothes from now on. The clothe recycling shops are your friend, if you wanna buy some nice clothes for cheap.
Just wash them before you wear them. I felt so goddamn good when I went to get clothes to interview in, and I paid like $6 for black work pants and a white, striped shirt.
I feel much better than when I get like a $50 pants or whatever from some bullshit branded dress shop.
Dunno if you have the Salvos (Salvation Army) in Canada? But if you get clothes there you also donate to charity, so that's another plus.

On that note, my rave....
I got another job interview! Hopefully anyway, last time with this same company when I missed the first call, she wouldn't return my call no matter how much I rang back, but hopefully this guy does, it's a different store, that other manager was probably just a bitch. This guy seems laid back and pretty cool I guess.
The only problem is it's the exact same job I was doing in high school, in the same store. It's probably gonna feel like a huge step back.
But if I get the job at the other store as well, selling computers/electronics, I suppose that will be good doing both jobs and stop me from feeling crap.

The plus is that basically if you get called for an interview, you've basically got the job, just gotta try not to fuck up massively and I should be good. FINALLY!

I feel like I haven't posted in a long time even though I'm pretty sure I have. My boyfriend is coming here now along with the other guy, in less than two weeks, which will be really nice except I'm afraid of him not being able to get through the border because of our troubles previous times. And this would be worse if he were turned back... because he'd have to be held in a holding cell and pay for his own flight back home without being able to see me. It's like there's been this pattern in which every time one of us has tried to cross the border, it's been worse every time, and if he isn't let through it would follow that pattern.

Everyone I express my fear to says it will be fine and there's nothing to worry about, since he's only coming for a few days and has a return flight and a job to go back to, but I'm still afraid and stressing every time I think about it. Everyone I talked to told me not to worry about myself last time I tried to cross, and I was the only one who was afraid, which is similar to how it is right now.

Rave: I ate really healthily today and felt amazing for a few hours afterward. I could concentrate better, felt overall better. Although it may have been a placebo but it didn't seem like it. I've been looking into certain foods and how they benefit people lately, particularly different types of vegetables. The benefits seem so amazing that I'm no longer even trying to lose weight, just trying to eat healthily. I'd heard that advice often before but never really took on the mindset at all. It's not that I want to lose weight any less... I still do, it's just that the mental and health related benefits to eating healthily seem so miraculous that losing weight seems insignificant.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

I feel like I haven't posted in a long time even though I'm pretty sure I have. My boyfriend is coming here now along with the other guy, in less than two weeks, which will be really nice except I'm afraid of him not being able to get through the border because of our troubles previous times. And this would be worse if he were turned back... because he'd have to be held in a holding cell and pay for his own flight back home without being able to see me. It's like there's been this pattern in which every time one of us has tried to cross the border, it's been worse every time, and if he isn't let through it would follow that pattern.

Everyone I express my fear to says it will be fine and there's nothing to worry about, since he's only coming for a few days and has a return flight and a job to go back to, but I'm still afraid and stressing every time I think about it. Everyone I talked to told me not to worry about myself last time I tried to cross, and I was the only one who was afraid, which is similar to how it is right now.

Rave: I ate really healthily today and felt amazing for a few hours afterward. I could concentrate better, felt overall better. Although it may have been a placebo but it didn't seem like it. I've been looking into certain foods and how they benefit people lately, particularly different types of vegetables. The benefits seem so amazing that I'm no longer even trying to lose weight, just trying to eat healthily. I'd heard that advice often before but never really took on the mindset at all. It's not that I want to lose weight any less... I still do, it's just that the mental and health related benefits to eating healthily seem so miraculous that losing weight seems insignificant.

I would feel bad for you if he can't pass customs my hubby is from Detroit, so i extend his stay here to live here because making him legal does take so long here.

Originally Posted by HoC

You might be right about the emotional state, however, I'm not sure why I should GFTOW

Because it's the best thing to do to get over your break-up. As long as it won't turn into a rebound, which can be the case at times.

Gavin about that dressing up, it's all because you look like you have a 'goal' when you dress up nicely. Of course women and men will respond better to you in general, women want a man who does something with his life and that's what you're emitting.

As for eating healthy Dianeva, good job! It does make you feel better. Just knowing that you're stuffing yourself with food that is healthy is enough to make you feel better. That's how it works for me, and we're both human.

Rave: Gonna go over to my brother this sunday! And people are responding well to my new clothes, cheers.

Rant: Been having a big struggle wether I want to quit smoking weed at all, it's tough.

Originally Posted by Athylus

Because it's the best thing to do to get over your break-up. As long as it won't turn into a rebound, which can be the case at times.

Gavin about that dressing up, it's all because you look like you have a 'goal' when you dress up nicely. Of course women and men will respond better to you in general, women want a man who does something with his life and that's what you're emitting.

As for eating healthy Dianeva, good job! It does make you feel better. Just knowing that you're stuffing yourself with food that is healthy is enough to make you feel better. That's how it works for me, and we're both human.

Rave: Gonna go over to my brother this sunday! And people are responding well to my new clothes, cheers.

Rant: Been having a big struggle wether I want to quit smoking weed at all, it's tough.

But we haven't broken up, she's just away for five days.

The toughest part of being an introvert and a lucid dreamer is no one understands why you need off time alone, and no one understands why you put effort into stupid dreams that make no sense.

I may need to start doing mental exercises. I think I was pretty intelligent at one point, but gave it up in exchange for a calmer, more stress-free lifestyle. Now anything that resembles me being smart to any real degree is just my ability to detach myself from my surroundings to make rational decisions or form rational opinions. That, however, is not the same as being smart. It's the skill I gained in exchange for my ability to think well. A by-product of the less learned me: I've become less knowledgeable in exchange for increased thoughtfulness in a few, pitiful areas. All in all, I'm pretty sure I need to start learning again.

Of course, it is entirely possible that I've been very dumb all along, and only recently become wise enough to realize it and focus on being happy instead.

And, in reality, is intelligence worth happiness? or is being happy worth sacrificing my ability to do what in all the universe only human's can do? Does any of it matter either way?!?!

So.... Weird qoutes of the day from this girl that I used to like and sorta had a thing with "Zera, you wanna get a place with me?" then I say if I get a good job, there is a pause. she says "I could get a one bedroom." Not sure about that. then more hints for me to ask her to stay the night, pretty sure I could have her and its just me holding back now, tough decision, but I'mma just play it slow like I'm not worried.

Originally Posted by Lucid_boy

I may need to start doing mental exercises. I think I was pretty intelligent at one point, but gave it up in exchange for a calmer, more stress-free lifestyle. Now anything that resembles me being smart to any real degree is just my ability to detach myself from my surroundings to make rational decisions or form rational opinions. That, however, is not the same as being smart. It's the skill I gained in exchange for my ability to think well. A by-product of the less learned me: I've become less knowledgeable in exchange for increased thoughtfulness in a few, pitiful areas. All in all, I'm pretty sure I need to start learning again.

Of course, it is entirely possible that I've been very dumb all along, and only recently become wise enough to realize it and focus on being happy instead.

And, in reality, is intelligence worth happiness? or is being happy worth sacrificing my ability to do what in all the universe only human's can do? Does any of it matter either way?!?!

I understand what you mean. This happened to me over the last couple years, and I've only recently started to get my brain back via studying frantically. I was sick of all the stress, then finally stopped taking everything so seriously and was happier, but then I wasn't motivated anymore to try, to exercise my brain much at all. When I started studying for this class I'm taking, I was doing terribly, thought my brain was destroyed and I could no longer memorize like I used to. But after forcing myself to study every day for a few months, I'm used to it again. My brain is better at comprehending, making connections, memorizing, etc. I wonder if this is part of the reason why old people mentally decline. If you've been doing some repetitive job for most of your life, and especially once you retire, you don't really have to think anymore.

Originally Posted by Lucid_boy

I may need to start doing mental exercises. I think I was pretty intelligent at one point, but gave it up in exchange for a calmer, more stress-free lifestyle. Now anything that resembles me being smart to any real degree is just my ability to detach myself from my surroundings to make rational decisions or form rational opinions. That, however, is not the same as being smart. It's the skill I gained in exchange for my ability to think well. A by-product of the less learned me: I've become less knowledgeable in exchange for increased thoughtfulness in a few, pitiful areas. All in all, I'm pretty sure I need to start learning again.

Of course, it is entirely possible that I've been very dumb all along, and only recently become wise enough to realize it and focus on being happy instead.

And, in reality, is intelligence worth happiness? or is being happy worth sacrificing my ability to do what in all the universe only human's can do? Does any of it matter either way?!?!

Originally Posted by Dianeva

I understand what you mean. This happened to me over the last couple years, and I've only recently started to get my brain back via studying frantically. I was sick of all the stress, then finally stopped taking everything so seriously and was happier, but then I wasn't motivated anymore to try, to exercise my brain much at all. When I started studying for this class I'm taking, I was doing terribly, thought my brain was destroyed and I could no longer memorize like I used to. But after forcing myself to study every day for a few months, I'm used to it again. My brain is better at comprehending, making connections, memorizing, etc. I wonder if this is part of the reason why old people mentally decline. If you've been doing some repetitive job for most of your life, and especially once you retire, you don't really have to think anymore.

Again, this is why I love DV. This is exactly what has happened to me. I was just way too stressed out and anxious all the time,
so I worked on calming myself down to the detriment of pretty much everything else I had been doing my entire life up until that point,
which was basically learning constantly about everything, everyday.
There was a point in between, where I just gave up, but then a year or so after that I realised (not really consciously, but I realise it now)
that I was even more stressed because I still cared about being smart, so I decided I had to get this anxiety under control.
But yeah, then I dropped everything else, got into LD'ing and meditation and more spiritual things, music, art etc.

Just these last two years my anxiety has dropped dramatically, and I've been trying to learn more and more, but it's a real struggle.

The thing we should remember is to not go from one extreme to the other.
Take what you've learned from getting rid of stress and keep working at it while you learn more.

Not to brag or anything, but I have read studies over the years that it is much more common for more intelligent people to become
overwhelmed with this sort of thing. I'm sure you both realise that the stress was mostly caused by being far too aware of things
that most people just don't even notice or think about. Taking in too much information though, leads to the brain becoming overwhelmed.
This is most noticeable in a condition called Low Latent Inhibition. Basically people with this cannot block anything out; their brain takes
in everything because the inhibition is too low.

Which is why I'm not bragging. I would say that we probably have higher than normal intelligence, and also curiosity,
but not high enough, and this can lead to trying to take in more than the brain can handle and process.
Just count yourselves lucky I guess, people with low latent inhibition but also low IQ go insane eventually because their brain can't handle all the input/information.
If they have extremely high IQ though, they are literal geniuses because they have so much information to work off and find connections between when figuring stuff out, coming up with ideas etc.

Sorry for gigantic post.

Originally Posted by HoC

But we haven't broken up, she's just away for five days.

I see... I think I didn't read your previous post well. Lol sorry mate, forget what I said.

Edit: Don't be sorry tommo, it was an informative post. I appreciate it for one.

Everything is horrible.

I can't handle these kids anymore ._ .

Originally Posted by Athylus

I see... I think I didn't read your previous post well. Lol sorry mate, forget what I said.

Edit: Don't be sorry tommo, it was an informative post. I appreciate it for one.

It's fine, I've done the same thing a couple of times before.

Aight, peace then bro. Good luck with your girlfriend.

Rave: I've been feeling happy all day and I haven't done anything else but laugh. Today was a good day. Now I'm gonna have to listen to this before I go to sleep.

Self-hypnosis is awesome, I put it off for a few weeks due to the apparently settled out conflict with college with relatives. Last night I was using hypnosis to relax myself a bit, and I felt the same sensations, or even stronger ones a few minutes because I noticed I'm able to visualize so much better now, and "foreseeing" or just "expecting" good things to happen out of the sessions is continuing to satisfy me.

It's getting to the point where the gradual relaxation method is coming by faster, so that the actual suggestions I create are focused on more, and combined with the scripts I made that are pretty detailed, I just have to open my laptop (or print things out), read the script I made in a calm and relaxed voice, and I can nudge at my subconscious to help me imagine this, or help me create some kind of sensation. I also noticed the visualization is even better than before (and before, it was crazy), and when I was done cleaning the apartment out, I decided to rest my eyes a bit while someone else was driving and literally went through a trip of random experiences that were so hard to put into words, but how everything moved around was so easy to comprehend.

Even though at the same time this poses a risk, since the imagination can be a bit too cruel, mostly at night when I'm a bit more tired, but when I get myself in the right mindset (which is really easy), the experience is just amazing. I've been saying that word a few times, but it really is, and the scary part is that I've only been working one script for a few weeks. The other 9-10 haven't even been tapped for self-hypnosis, and the best part is that the base script I made can be used all the time, while the actual script with the intentions can be manipulated to whatever goal I have in mind. It just takes maybe 10 minutes to make a 3-5 paged detailed response, but just thinking about it makes me want to calm down and just work on one goal at a time. Now if I can get this goal showing significant signs of progress, that's when the memory retrieval is going to be more consistent, and hopefully be put out consistently.

Originally Posted by Maeni

I can't handle these kids anymore ._ .

I thought you didn't want to handle them?

Sorry, I tried so, sooo hard to not make a joke, but.... you set it up far too well.

Seriously though, maybe it is a sign you are moving on from that.

Originally Posted by tommo

I thought you didn't want to handle them?

Sorry, I tried so, sooo hard to not make a joke, but.... you set it up far too well.

I'm so sorry but I don't get the joke ;_;

Seriously though, maybe it is a sign you are moving on from that.

Maybe a sign that I'm moving on from her. But moving on from 'that'? That's really not going to happen.
Maybe my crush on her was due to the fact that I didn't know any other girls her age, so I just caught on to the first and best thing. Or maybe this feeling I have now is just something temporal. There has been other days where I went home genuinely wondering if I would ever want to go back, and then literally the very next day was absolutely amazing due to spending it with her. I just feel like I've had a streak of bad days. I'm tired of being the one who's responsible for them. Last time I hung out with them, we went to the swimming center, and then had some food at the little kebab place like we usually do. But on the way back they wanted to go inside every god damn store, and I said no. This time, adamantly. Usually I'd eventually bow to most of their demands, but this time it became a battle between me and K. She wanted to go this way, I said no we can't go. She just kept walking, knowing that there's practically nothing I can do. I can either convince her, go her way or physically force her the other way, those were my choices. I went over to her to try with the first option, but by then she had already walked quite a bit down the second hallway of the shopping center so we ended up walking that way. Miraculously I managed to convince them not to enter the stores they wanted to go inside. If they had done that... What the hell could I have done?

We were still stopped a bunch of times, mostly to "quickly" look at something. By the time we'd gotten through the center to do the stuff we needed to do (get money back for some soda cans), they had asked me to do like a thousand things, and for me to buy a thousand things for them, and for me to take them all kinds of places. Of course they asked if they could just borrow money from me, but I know they don't pay it back. The thing all this lead to was K eventually remarking "You always say no."
Well thanks a fucking lot. And here I thought most of my money had been drained down your throat but I guess I never do anything for you.

Expecting little girls to be reasonable... I dunno, I'm not sure I do, I just don't know how to deal with it.
This also makes me feel a tad ungrateful. There's plenty of people like me who don't have anything like this and now I'm whining about it. Maybe I should read back some of the good memories in my diary...

Originally Posted by Maeni

Maybe a sign that I'm moving on from her. But moving on from 'that'? That's really not going to happen.

You already said you thought you were moving on from it a year or so ago. There's no reason it can't happen.

Anyway, was just a thought.

Rant: These goddamned managers want you to give everything up for a job, that job has to be your life, even if it's 1/16th time-wise.
"Oh we might need you to come in, you have to be available alll the time in case we do". Don't agree to that? They can hire someone else who will,
because there are hundreds of people applying to the same job.

It's basically gotten to the point where if your job/career isn't your primary concern, you're probably not going to go anywhere in that aspect of life.
What a sad state of affairs....