Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Originally Posted by LouaiB

Ain't I a handsome devil!? *smiles while petting the couch*
Why am I smiling like that?? I can't smile for the camera! sob

I like your new avatar BTW! Is that you? That girl is VERY beautiful!

Oh and congrats!

Yes, you really are a handsome devil, even without smiling for the camera!

And of course that's me in the avatar pic. Thank you! I'm sure you already know it's me and you're pretending that you don't..lol

Rant: Some people in my company are giving me a hard time after i put in my papers today. All kinds of emotional manipulation...they're trying to make me feel guilty about leaving and somehow get me to stay. Surprisingly, my boss was nice and wished me luck. It's the senior managers who have a problem. The more polite I am, the more they try to influence my decision. Offering me money, offering me a different designation and a whole lot of emotional arguments. So I had to take a strong stand and act like a total bitch. Had to tell them on their face that I will not change my decision no matter what. Apparently they don't let anyone go without making it seem like they're burning bridges.

Tried to get back into dream journaling, now I've had 4-5 nights/dreams in a row that I'd rather not remember. Not nightmares, they were just personal and douchy.

scumbag-brain-meme-template-blank.jpg

*drools* Homemade bread is the best! Of course, I used a bread machine lol, but close enough I loved the Hawaiian bread mix... but it did not love me. I wonder where that contraption disappeared to..

Grats on sticking to your guns, Anju!! Hope you like the new place so much more!

Hi AngelZlayer. I don't remember seeing you in here before. Welcome (Forgive me if I'm wrong?)
I woke too quickly today so I forgot my dreams, so I sympathize. All I recall is a snippet of jumping rope while doing flips When I wanted to show off my skill I couldn't do it anymore.

My rave is that I woke up to my period and sore ovaries. It snuck up on me this month. I honestly wasn't expecting it. No breast tenderness, no cramps, no weird cravings. BUT, it could explain my higher than usual anxiety level and emotional dreams as well as horrid sleep.

I called the glass installation people as soon as I woke and they said it would cost "29201". The line was bad so I don't know if that covers installation but it just can't. I asked "$2,920?" But no. It's $292.01. The Honda people said the glass alone cost $628.33 and they'd have to bring in someone for the installation which would run at least $150. Something's not adding up
So I'll drive over there and ask in person tomorrow (when I'll have the gas-- they're right down the road from us thankfully).

I can now play Runescape for as long as 40 minutes at a stretch before the stupid CRC error pops up. Lowering my graphics setting to "Low" seemed to help a great deal. Did I write about this already Ah well, I'm still raving about it

Now I'm going to eat and take my meds then hop in the shower...

Talking about cravings...i'm craving for a BIG fat burger now....idk why, but i guess summer is in the air when i want it lol!
Been awhile since i had burgers...cooked at home...that's why i need it..plus protien.
Time to shop tomorrow for burgers and buns...more ketchup...real cheese (havarti)...lettuce all the works.

I heard that it's a possibility that faeries are real. I think I want to talk to them... just saying (typing,etc).

Before I go, I'm new to this sort of thing, and I was wondering if it is uncommon to post on a thread after it's been over for three years?

Most forums, yes. This forum maybe. Try to add new content that may drive people, and I like to make sure the OP actually posts now and then. If not, start a new thread.

Originally Posted by Anju

Yes, you really are a handsome devil, even without smiling for the camera!

And of course that's me in the avatar pic. Thank you! I'm sure you already know it's me and you're pretending that you don't..lol

Rant: Some people in my company are giving me a hard time after i put in my papers today. All kinds of emotional manipulation...they're trying to make me feel guilty about leaving and somehow get me to stay. Surprisingly, my boss was nice and wished me luck. It's the senior managers who have a problem. The more polite I am, the more they try to influence my decision. Offering me money, offering me a different designation and a whole lot of emotional arguments. So I had to take a strong stand and act like a total bitch. Had to tell them on their face that I will not change my decision no matter what. Apparently they don't let anyone go without making it seem like they're burning bridges.

Never ever take a counter-offer. Something like 70% of all people who take a counter offer after putting in their notice don't last a year. You did the right thing. Congrats!

Rant/Rave.....I'm starting to have those dreams again, coming back...and there's always this guy i'm with...wonder if i will dream again tonight?
I don't know we will see....GoodNight DV!!!

Found another keyboard laying around! cbf typing whatever I was gonna reply in my last post.
That's the second keyboard in two months or so.... The first one was a good solar powered wireless one as well, so sad :'(

Having second thoughts about becoming a Vet.... They increased it to 7 god damn years. Have to do 3 years of bachelor of science instead of 2, and they increased the actual vet course to 4 years instead of 3.
I'm really not sure I still want to be in uni by 32.... I will literally have no time for anything else, for 7 years, that's what it's like already, just study study study. I was thinking about becoming a doctor, and I mentioned that to a girl at Uni today and she said they are also increasing the number of years for that too! WTH??!!

They just want more money, that's why. It's not like there's years worth of new material to learn, maybe a few months at most, but you could learn that on the job anyway. I guess you do internship and stuff for the last year or two in medicine at least, but still, total bullshit. I put in a transfer to the vet course for now, but for the rest of this year it's mostly generic science, so I can transfer to something else later depending on what I decide I guess.

Just seems like every time I head in the right direction, multiple roadblocks come up that never existed before. It's like some sick joke from the universe.
Then you get other people who just did everything at the right time and escaped all the bullshit hindrances.

Rant, rave, cry and complain. 3 weeks AGAIN since the last lucid, despite massive consistent every day effort. I HATE DRY SPELLS I WISH I COULD SURGICALLY REMOVE THEM FROM MY LIFE.

Originally Posted by jumpscreamfly

I heard that it's a possibility that faeries are real. I think I want to talk to them... just saying (typing,etc).

Before I go, I'm new to this sort of thing, and I was wondering if it is uncommon to post on a thread after it's been over for three years?

They sing

Originally Posted by tommo

They just want more money, that's why. It's not like there's years worth of new material to learn, maybe a few months at most, but you could learn that on the job anyway. I guess you do internship and stuff for the last year or two in medicine at least, but still, total bullshit.

Education is a business anyway. When I went to college, our course was 4 years (It was 3 a few years ago). And in that extra year added at the beginning of the course, we learnt nothing. They just made us do some stupid assignments which had no purpose at all. Now they're increasing the number of admissions in the institute, even though there aren't enough facilities to accommodate more students. It's all about making money.

Now I am re-thinking my plan to do Masters. They probably won't teach anything more than what i learnt in the Bachelor course. And 2 years of work experience seems to add more value to the resume than 2 years of post-graduation, unless I do my masters in a different field/specialization, but I don't want a different field/specialization. Anyway, I can't do it this year when I finally have the job I wished for. Maybe later if i feel like it..

I told my landlord I'll be moving out by end of july, because the new office is quite far from here. Now I'm back to house-hunting again! I hate moving, I just hate it! I have to move every year for some reason. And the packing and unpacking...ugh! This time all I'm looking for is a less noisy neighbourhood and a landlord who keeps his nose out of my business.

Rant:

I don't know about anyone else but as a book reader it sucks when I can't find the book I'm searching for. It may not help that I can't remember the title or who wrote the book, but it's still a pain in the ass when you can give a complete description of the book and no one knows what it is. I go to bookstores, libraries, I search the web, it's almost as if the book falls off the planet of the earth. No one has heard of it. Seen it. Nothing. It's gone. I can feel the names on the tip of my tongue, but it's too far back in my memory to remember. I hate it...

Apple wood bacon BURGERS!!!! OMG so good!!! < lol!!

Welcome JumpScreamFly

Glad you found a new keyboard, Tommo. Sorry to hear about all of the education hassles!!

Ugh... I know exactly what you mean, Jump! I fell in love with a book when I was a kid and I tried to find it later in life. It was called "Runaway" and to this day I can never remember the authors name. Thankfully, after MUCH searching, I found the author and bookmarked it for when I forgot again lol. Runaway - 1988 - Stephen Gresham Stephen Gresham. I have no idea why I just Can Not remember his name.

Anju. I hate moving as well. I have finally simplified my life to the point that I could move all of the stuff I need in one trip. I used to be a major packrat and I kept all sorts of keepsakes. When my kids were little monsters they discovered my boxes of journals and manuscripts, my Code and destroyed most of them while I slept. That sort of broke me of my need to hold on to stuff lol

My rant is that I'm a little crampy today and I want to crawl back into bed. I had weird dreams of blood and suicide and an animal chomping on Climbers head and a poisonous fish that my cats had gotten into and started having siezures. Stupid period dreams

A rave is that I had enough loose change to buy myself a large Smoothie from Sheetz when I went to the store. So yummy....

Fluffybutt is such a weird, affectionate kitten. She keeps running into my room and plopping down on the dogs bed. Sorry kitty, but you'll get ear mites if you sleep on that. The dog bed is too big to put in the wash, so I'm going to have to throw it out, which I hate. But the dogs ears will never get better if I don't get rid of it. She loves her bed. I'll have to find her some blankets or something instead...

Usually my period, during dreams is....more sexual stuff lol The odd dreams comes more after or before it.

This past month, I have used 31GB of data. When I was under the Red Menace, they constantly told me I used less than 2GB. Glad T-Mobile is amazing.

If i always cared what others think about me?....i wouldn't be able to sleep....last night i did a mistake to let that happen...i couldn't sleep and hell froze over.
I was very confident and happy of myself in the last week or so.....someone managed to put a stop to that in a few seconds....something they always did GOOD....was to make others unhappy because they are. Something i don't do, i stopped provoking, and in the end who's provoking now?
Karma doesn't do well on those who don't forgive and forget and let be, i forgave, forgotten and let be.....but it has to start within yourself.
I had to start from within myself, because this person nearly destroyed my inner self.
End of some spiritual rant. Had to let go and now is the time.

Just passing by because I should not be here 'cause there's to much to study. I have the university's access exams the following three days and I just want to die . That's my rant, the only message I'll be able to post until sunday. Wish me good luck!

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Anju. I hate moving as well. I have finally simplified my life to the point that I could move all of the stuff I need in one trip. I used to be a major packrat and I kept all sorts of keepsakes. When my kids were little monsters they discovered my boxes of journals and manuscripts, my Code and destroyed most of them while I slept. That sort of broke me of my need to hold on to stuff lol

I was an expert in packing too. But when I moved to this house, I was pretty sure that I would be staying here for a few years. So I bought a sewing machine, induction stove and lots of stuff. I don't have anything I can leave behind.. :/ All my keepsakes are in my parents' house. Anyway it's a relief that I'm not moving to a different state. I've done that 4 times already. Now I'm tired of it. This time it's just a different part of the same city.

This anger will never end. I think I need to write a massive letter and give it to her, or just yell at her. I need to do something, coz it's not going away.
At least when I was getting drunk I could focus on my school work.
I knew I should have just told her all this stuff I want to say before.... I knew it was done for. Why didn't I? Just clung to the slightest hope until there was nothing.
Now I have no proper outlet for it and it's just eating at me. Coz likely if I did tell her, she wouldn't care, so it would just make me feel even worse.
I guess it's not.... right.... or whatever, but I want her to feel like shit for treating me so bad. I guess anything to show I didn't just waste all my energy and emotions on a goddamn sociopath.

Originally Posted by tommo

This anger will never end. I think I need to write a massive letter and give it to her, or just yell at her. I need to do something, coz it's not going away.
At least when I was getting drunk I could focus on my school work.
I knew I should have just told her all this stuff I want to say before.... I knew it was done for. Why didn't I? Just clung to the slightest hope until there was nothing.
Now I have no proper outlet for it and it's just eating at me. Coz likely if I did tell her, she wouldn't care, so it would just make me feel even worse.
I guess it's not.... right.... or whatever, but I want her to feel like shit for treating me so bad. I guess anything to show I didn't just waste all my energy and emotions on a goddamn sociopath.

If someone is treating you like shit, then it's time to ignore, let go and let her figure out what happened....when words cannot go through the person...then it's time to stop telling and start ignoring. There will be a way, don't worry. That escape route is right there, you can see it.

Aww Louai and Anju are so cute!

So here I am... nearly 7 weeks clean. And the first year of school is about done, just a week and a half more. I have only failed one subject so far, I must say I am amazed of myself. I've also been seeing a therapist since about a month ago because I want to grow even more as a person, and I feel like this is some good help. When I was still smoking weed, my general emotional well being was on average a 5. Since quitting it's a 6, we have concluded. Trying to work it up to an 8 now. If I can make this school year, keep doing kickboxing, get better at drawing and playing the piano I reckon I'll be close to that. So yeah, I've been doing well.

My boyfriend is fabulous, he treats me well, it's good.

I've finished all my exams, I think they all went well. I'm hoping that I will have some really good results in August.

I'm going to see TFIOS tonight. I'm so happy I get to see it a week before UK release date!!!

Spoiler for Possible trigger:

Self harmed for the first time in 9 months on Sunday night. I'm even more disappointed by the fact that I'd been 9 months clean I really wanted to make it to a year but oh well. I guess shit happens.

I'll catch up more when I have more time and don't feel like an emotional wreck.