Xanous' Dream Journal

#535- DILD

I don't know how it started but I was talking to my parents out side and I just start flying then I have a gradual realization that I shouldn't be able to do this. I say only to myself that I am dreaming. I enjoy flying more like hovering around then I finally say out loud this is a dream do you know how I know I shouldn't be able to do this and I rise far about their heads. They are looking up and smiling. Everything but my parents turns a solid white. I say for some reason when I get to high everything gets unstable. As I come back down the to ground I wake up

4 months since my last lucid. I suck at this now.

#534 - DEILD - 12:22AM

I dream I am in bed but there is some light on coming from where the bathroom should be. When I look, I see a back yard with a chain-link fence. I wonder why there is no wall. A security light has come on. I can’t seem to move very well. I try to tell my wife but she’s not very responsive. I look toward the window and see a light coming from there too.
I wake looking at the curtains. I am hallucinating that the curtains don’t look like curtains but a deep dark void into another realm. My eyes focus and I see just curtains. I feel very dreamy still so I naturally and instinctively go into DIELD mode. I really just do it without much thought. I let my body relax as I focus on the spot in my head that seems to allow me to renter the dream world. Almost instantly I get vibration and feel myself detach from my physical body. I become very excited and have to focus on slowing down my breathing and to relax more deeply. After a moment I let my dream body get out of bed.
Everything is very dark and unstable. I try to ground myself with sensation of touch in the dream. I touch everything in the room but it doesn’t help enough. I wake slightly but and focused and determined. I DEILD again. I go back and forth several time between waking and trying to get the dream going. My wife’s lightly snoring is interrupting me and my physical body jerks a few times. Also once, I reach for the door knob but my physical hand moves waking me. I finally let the noise of her snoring go. I accept it and chose to ignore it like I do with the sound of the fan in the room. It’s just a noise that I can tune out. I exit again and this time it try to phase through the wall instead of using the door. This causes a sort of hiccup in the dream that sends me vibrating in and out of the wall until I finally force my way through. I see the living room but I am sent back to waking.
Finally for the last time I exit. It’s still a bit unstable but I slap the walls really hard and I move to the bathroom. This seems to help. The sound is so loud I wonder if there is something hitting the house but I dismiss that thought. I enter the bathroom and everything is bright and clear. I am relieved. I look into the mirror like I always do and notice how distorted and odd my face looks. I feel hyper and extremely happy like I usually do in a lucid dream. I move and dance around and watch my reflection struggle to keep up. I see various bottles and cans of beauty products that my wife uses in waking life. I pick a small unusual looking bottle with blue liquid up. I decide to taste it. I drink all of the contents. The taste is odd but not unpleasant with a bitter alcohol like aftertaste. I look back at my reflection and it’s not moving at all now. It doesn’t even have the bottle in its hand. Next I see a bottle of pink pills. I decide these are lucidity pills that will enhance the dream and make me super lucid. Now I know the title of this dream journal entry. I eat one. It’s mildly sweet. Then I eat a handful. It’s like cotton in my mouth and then it dissolves away.
The dream fades away now and think this pill trick didn’t work very well but no sooner do I think that I find myself in a new location. I am still lucid and standing in a kitchen. I know that I need to keep active to keep the dream going so I start to interact with items. There’s a plastic grocery bag in the sink. I touch it for a second but notice there are dream characters with me. For some reason I decide that I am here to remodel. My wife is next to me and the guy from the pet store in waking life is there. He pulls out the entire kitchen sink and cabinets from the wall. We take a look together and the whole thing is built very oddly. Then I decide the back-splash needs an extra thing with a shelf on it. I think this is a really good idea and I want to remember it when I wake up so maybe I’ll do that in my actual house. Another dream character appears, a woman. I explain the whole thing in great detail and even draw her a little picture. I am still excited and hyper. I am joking around with her in silly ways like a child would. I start looking through the notebook that I drew the shelf on there are random drawing and writings that I can’t make out what it is. I’m still lucid but I think it has slipped at little. After a moment longer of this I wake up again and decide I better go ahead and write my dream down before I forget it.

#533

I was in an airport trying to get some place in the building but everywhere I turn its just sliding glass doors leading outside. I hear someone say something about tickets to Japan. For some reason I become lucid. I turn around again and see that I am up on the second floor and the lower floor is open below. I just over the rails and allow myself to belly flop on the floor. I feel a numb sensation when I hit. I think I did this because I was thinking the other day about some superstition with falling in dreams. I get up and walk. For some reason I think I was lucid just before this dream but had lost it. I wake up.

#532- DILD

Cutting through a field on foot. I'm looking for a fishing hole but I only have a shovel. I hear something like a lawn mower. I see a guy on a small riding mower doing the fence line. I don't want to be seen because I am trespassing. I turn another direction cut across open grass. My son is following me. I come to a barbwire fence. I have to move logs and random boards. I feel really strong. The ease of it makes me realize it's a dream. I realize the mower sound is probably the fan in the bedroom and my worry of getting caught dissolves.

I decide to try flying but it's like my mind cant generate the view and I get stuck and come down. I around and see and old farm house. I decide jumping on top of the house would give me a good visual. When my feet hit the roof and push off again. I am able to Hoover a bit several yards above the house. I notice how the sun is glinting off metal parts of the drip edge and roof vents. I see a forest in the distance but I cant seem to control my flying. I settle back down on the roof. There is a girl in yard looking up at me. I tell her In flying. She just watches me. Then I see 3 girls at a lemonade stand. I jump down to the ground to investigate. I get a fun idea. I run full speed and drive into the girls and lemonade stand. Ice and water from the ice chest and lemonade from several pitchers explode all over the girls and myself. We all laugh. One of then runs to a large fridge that's sitting in the yard. She goes all the way in then comes out with a half full pitcher of pink lemonade. Shes going to pour on me but I wake up at that moment.
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#531 DILD - 8AM

I am in some shopping center looking at stuff with my wife. There is a guy looking at Halloween costumes next to us but he keep ramming his cart into my leg. I don't do much or get mad. I'm slightly annoyed and I just move. There is some interaction with the cashier and my wife and we somehow get new debit cards. Now I want a new wallet and I start to look for one.

Suddenly, I realize that I am completely naked. I run out of the store and grab some random items to hide my private parts. I make it to the car and hide for a moment. Some teenager peer in but I have my face covered with a thin material. I wait until they leave and start putting more clothes on.

When I am decently dressed, I notice the car has rolled out of the parking spot. I make several attempts at parking but the parking gear and emergency brake doesn't seem to keep the car from rolling. I finally stash it an angle in front of the store. I want to go back in because I still want a wallet.

I get out of the car but my wife is coming out; done shopping. I tell her what I am doing while awkwardly getting a pair of sandals on. They are muddy. There is a lot of rain water flowing down from and inside corner of the L shape in the building lay out. I go to was my feet but end up letting the water flow on my head and body like a shower. I see my feet and sandals are clean so I step out only to notice that I am completely naked again. I look out into the parking lot and see a nude woman laying across a sports car feeling her breast and looking at me. I choose to ignore her.

All of this is too much and I now know that I am dreaming. My first instinct is to get dressed. I struggle with the clothing then realize it doesn't matter. I can either go naked or just mentally fast-forward past the physical effort of getting dressed. I tell my self that I am dressed and confidentially walk in the store. I see my reflection in the glass of the sliding doors. It looks like I am at least wearing shorts. I look down and now I am wearing a long shirt. Good enough.

Not knowing what else to do, I decide to go ahead and look for the wallet. Unfortunately the dream starts to fade. I struggle for visual clarity and now the store has turned into a version of a large church from childhood. There is a kid with me. Seems like it's KW. I hear singing. It sounds like my sister N. We try to follow the voice but the church is turning into a confusing maze. The dream starts to fade and KW say no lets interact and he starts beating a rhythm on walls and pews as we pass them. I do the same. It helps for a while but the dream continues to fade out.

Other dreams:

1) I have a horribly clumsy time cleaning the litter box. Stuff ends up everywhere and somehow I have litter grit in my mouth. I am really annoyed and grossed out.

2) I am driving my truck into my drive way at my house. I'm thinking making a turn round spot in part of the yard. I decide to drive it to see. Seems good but I back out and now I am at a place I liked in as a teen in TX. I turn the car around and realized I hit something. I look there is some random T-posts and a lot of thorny vines. The trees seem to close in on me. I think my dad really needs to get out here and cut this crap with me.I see something else and notice that I took out the entire gas meter. There is natural spewing out from a now single broken pipe coming out of the ground. I marvel how that was even possible but rush to shut the truck off to avoid an explosion. I run in the house to tell my dad. He takes his sweet time calling the gas company then hangs up. Oops that's the wrong number. He starts slowing typing in search on the computer to find the number. I say you know what I'm just calling 911. I dial and then I wake up.

6:17AM DILD

For some reason was going to church with my bro to get something that I forgot. Saw my mom in the yard being active and working. What is she doing. Oh well at least she's active. Go inside to a seat that was mine. Grabbed... something. I see other random stuff that's mine. I'll just get it all because I dont plan on coming back. I put it all in a bag. I look up and see my grandpa walking to a seat. Mouth gapped I look at Tim and point. I tell Tim This is a dream. Walk up to grandpa. How have you been? Feeling better? [Now that you're dead] He smiles and says Yeah doing good. I kiss him on forehead and laugh at what I did. I dont know why I kissed him like that. Laughing He says If I was still a live I'd whoop your ass.
I say Yeah I bet. Tim starts asking wierd questions with a lot of random numbers. I say that's too many number for me to think about right now and turn to leave. I hear him ask something about rainbows in the dark. I pause and why do dreams feel so real. I continue to leave but think it's just because you're convinced that it is. I go outside. I get hyper like a child and start fling low and screaming and yelling. I see a Willow tree and I feel drawn to it. For some reason I am still attached to whatever to went back to the church for. I look at my bag in my hands and want to set it down but dont want to forget to grab it before I wake up. I keep it by the willow tree to remember. I turn and see a tarp up behind me. I go around and see a dividing line of darkness. I start to move away from it but some glowing eyes gets my attention. I dont want to turn my back to it and I feel some initial fear. Knowing this is a dream I decide to confront it
I say Come one then. Yeah get over here. Let's go. Come on. The darkness around the glowing eyes clear a bit. It's a white wolf. It begins to look scared and confused as it starts to slowly pad toward me. I wait but suddenly the dream fades and I wake up.

#529 DILD

Posting super fast from my phone so formatting will be bad

All I can recall is it was me and my wife Alysha and her DC was lucid so it felt like we were sharing a lucid dream. We were doing TK with random things. There was a pink dish rag she was TKing and accidentally swallowed it. She was freaking but I was like no it a dream look I'll pull it out of your pocket. I did and she felt better. Then I was like man that has been a really long dream I probably wont remember it all and woke up. Lol. I guess I recall a good amount but I wonder how it started and how much I forgot because I was too tired to DJ when I woke up.

#527 DILD

I am standing in the kitchen and for some crazy reason my little boy gives me a container with a bit of cannabis in it. I quickly hide it in an extra pocket in my shorts before my wife sees and freaks out. While doing so, I notice one of my fingers looks really short and stubby. I immediately recognize this as a dream sign and become lucid. My son asks why my finger looks like that and I tell him its my dream finger. He then runs off outside.

I walk into the living and see my wife laying sexily on the couch. I suddenly get the urge and we have crazy dream sex until I wake up.

#528

I am in a strange hatchback at the gas station. I notice there is some crazy looking tail fin thing on the back of the car. There is no gas cap anywhere. I find it in the back passenger seat floor. The gas tank fills up crazy fast. I comment on it and my wife says its not that fast. The pump clicks off. I let it settle and go for a little more. Gas spews out all over the floor board. It smells but not too bad. We leave with the windows down talking about how crazily made this rental car is. There is some strange issue with the seat belts and somehow throw the whole thing to the back. We laugh about seatbelt laws and I say something about how we should just wrap ourselves with bubble wrap all the time.

Suddenly, I am flying down a long corridor with infinite intersections at high speed. Each wall has a simple red painting and the walls are a mauve color. Suddenly, I get it. I tell my wife this is a strange dream I am having. We are walking now. I tell her again, mostly for myself, "This is a dream. It's a dream." Her DC seems a little dumb and I want to be alone. I point and tell her to do down a hallway and then turn left. She runs down and turns right. I say, "Nope other left.", but she doesn't hear me. I shrug and walk the other way.

I ask myself what do I want to do with this dream. "Explore." It's like I am in a huge maze that doesn't make sense but the colors are vivid and amazing. There are so many mirrors now on each wall. I look at myself. I look like a young woman who's face continues to change rapidly. I'm slightly annoyed to be a woman but I don't fight it. Then my reflection actually starts to look sexy and begins doing all the things women do to look hot in selfies. I say, "OOOOO I'm a woman." I touch my lips and my face. I'm attracted to myself. Then I turn old and grey. I say, "Well now I'm an old woman." I lose interest and walk way.

I want out of the maze now so I climb a wall. The going is very awkward and my right foot never leaves the ground. I feel the sensation of my whole leg stretching out. The whole time I hear the Mission Impossible Theme Song. I whistle to it. When I reach the top, I have to concentrate on returning to normal size. I stand at the top of the maze looking out as far as I can. It's getting dark. I wonder where my wife went to and try to spot her. Suddenly, the dream fades. I lay in bed for a few moments trying to reenter but it's no bueno.

#527 DILD

I am in some church service. I feel so tired and dosing off. I feel I am holding someone’s hand. I think it’s my wife. I open my eyes and see my FIL reaching across my wife and holding my hand. He’s smirking. I remember he’s dead but I think I must be half dreaming. The next thing I know I wake up and the service is over. I still feel out of it and can hardly open my eyes to see where I am going. I see my dead grandmother following me. I know she is dead but again I think I am half dreaming or hallucinating. After a moment, I stop and hug her knowing people must see me hugging someone invisible like she’s a ghost. In the parking lot some people finally notice I am having a hard time and start asking me what’s wrong. I say I don’t know I think maybe I need to see a doctor. I wake up.

Later, I dream that I am running an electrical test on a wire harness from but I am hooking up the washer and dryer at my house somehow. I walk away because I need some alligator clips. I am at work now and I run into Ryan. I get pissed because he’s installed some extra software on the computer and I have no idea what I am looking at. I think about going to IT but I just decide to leave. I wake up.

Some fragment about how I am able to fly and hover easily. It feels natural. Just a thing I can do.

I wake up determined to get lucid as I watch HI. After some time, I notice I am on a skateboard and have stopped to look at a loose bolt on the trucks. I realize I am in a dream and I float away. I fly high in the sky and see some blue sky and clouds but the dream turns mostly dark. I don’t get caught up on the lack of visuals. Instead, I enjoy the physical sensation of flying. At one point it feels like I am swimming super-fast in water. I laugh and deeply enjoy it for as long as it lasts. Suddenly I feel the chemical change in my head. I know I am waking up. I try to hold on. I get a visual of my shoes where I left them in the hallway. I wake up.

#525 DILD

I am looking through some stuff in a large wooden chest. My father-in-law has something hidden but I can't find it. I come down from the attic and tell him that he did a good job hiding it because I can't seem to find it. Looking at him it dawns on me that I am dreaming because he has recently passed away in waking life. There are many emotions flowing through me and I telling about something I know about that I can't mention here. He's about to lose his mind that I know what I know so I then tell him that he's dead. I tell him all I know about his death. I tell him its ok. He doesn't take it very well. He seems surprised by it. I tell him that I love him and I'm sorry that I never told him that. I tell him that I miss him so much and that I am sorry he's gone. I lose the dream as it fades away and I wake up.

#526 DILD

The next night my father in law is going on about some kind of special bucket to some person. I walk up to him and he sees me. It's like he knows now and he says "Hey buddy!" with so much love and compassion. Everything comes flooding back and I know I am dreaming. Unfortunately I wake up almost immediately.

#524

I don't quite recall this perfectly nor am I sure what triggered lucidity but I'll try to put the pieces together.

I think how it started is with me noticing something about a FA making me wonder if I was dreaming. I do my fave RC, the nose plug, and announce that I am dreaming. Something about saying that and it being true filled me with that old feeling of amazement and wonder. Every time I say this throughout the rest of the dream I am filled with the same feeling.

I don't do much because I keep falling back into FA but somehow I keep catching on to it. I don't know how many time I work up to realize it was a dream but I feel like it happened a lot. Maybe that's a false feeling but it seems true.

I remember that at some point I watch a dream materialize from darkness. I rub my hands together and examine them for stability. I look around at several people staring at me. It looks like I am in a classroom. I tell them all that I am dream. All of this is a dream. You are in a dream. Some look at me with blank expressions some of them look at me like I am crazy. I tell them I will prove it by putting my finger through my hand. It almost works but doesn't quite get there. I try to think of it as reaching through empty space. I doesn't quite work to my satisfaction. I tell them maybe this is a bad example.

I recall another time of trying to phase through a glass or mirror.

At one point I clap my hands for stability and am momentarily fooled by an FA. I realize I have been moaning (perhaps not I don't know. I have recorded myself on my sleep app moaning so who knows lol). I think I must have woke my wife. She tells me I was clapping and talking in my sleep. Then I think nope this is typical FA stuff. I never act out my dreams. I relax and see a kaleidoscope of psychedelic geometry and color. I enjoy this for as long as it lasts. I don't know how long. Maybe I lost lucidity for a moment. Maybe not.

I now I am walking someplace. I explore my surroundings. I don't quite recall what it was. I continue to tell people I am dreaming but they don't respond. I don't really care. There was more but I forget.

I finally wake up for real ( I think) and I feel uncomfortable so I roll to my side. I am confinement I'll renter the dream state lucidly but unfortunately I don't recall anything after that.

#523 DILD 3:40AM

YAY FINALLY A LUCID! IT HAS BEEN FAR TOO LONG!

I am playing mini golf with some Asian dudes. They are way better than me. The course is odd an confusing. I notice my ball have become misshapen and like Styrofoam. I look for a better ball but they are all the same. I look around for someone that works there to help. I see Amanda and Darleen from work. Darleen is wanting a new ball but hers was red and we all have matching colored hats for teams. She has red but now wants a green ball. We say you cant change your hat but I watch as her hat morphs from red to green. She turns away and her had turns red again. We say something about that and it turns green again. Amanda wonders whats going on. I am sort of lucid here but not quite. I know there is some secrete here. I tell her Darleen is doing it with her mind. Amanda gives me one of her famous Im-going-to-throat-punch-you looks. I have a deep belly laugh because she doesn't understand whats happening. I'm still stuck on getting a good golf ball. I see a door marked employees only and enter. I'm suddenly far more lucid now and sitting in front of a computer at my ex's parents computer room. I do the first thing I think of and punch the screen. It hurts and I am mildly amused by that. I intend to punch all the way in but I can't go past the broken glass into the white light beyond. I wave my hand over the screen and mend all of the damage. I am annoyed to be in this damned house again. I don't understand why my subC takes me here so often. What's the connection? I decided to go ahead and explore but once I exit the room, the dream melts into a black oozing void. I decide to let the dream go and wake myself up.

#522 - OBE - 12:20

Sometimes I really feel like I have some sort of sleep disorder. I fall asleep for about 1 hour and then find myself staring at some strange red light. I think I am dreaming at first but quickly realize I am looking at the alarm clock half sitting up. It's super weird but I shake it off and try to go back to sleep. Sadly for me, my wife is intermittently snoring and begins to drive me crazy. I keep nudging her to get her to stop long enough for me to fall back to sleep but it's not working out.

Some time passes; not much, hell, I didn't know any time passed until I hear the snoring again. I nudge her but this time when my hand touches her it feels really numb and soft. I almost immediately recognize this as the dream state so I test it. For reason I think slap her leg and pinching her would be the best way to check. Luckily, I was in deed in a SP/dream state and not waking life. Not that I have confirmed this, I am briefly annoyed that I still hear her snoring and I'm unable to try to stop her. Once, I decide it's best to focus on getting out of body, the snoring stops.

There is a little resistance but I manage to exit. I float out of the bedroom and see a white mass of something in the living room. I think it's something ghostly at first but once I decide it must be my dog she takes shape. She gives a soft bark and uncharacteristically nips at my feet. I decide to just bring her along with me. I take her by the collar and walk her to the other side of the house. All the while she is annoyingly nipping at my legs and feet. I find that confusing but just ignore it. Once I open the back door, I let her lose. She runs off and it feels good because she is always trying to go running outside but we can't let her do that in waking life.

I turn and run toward our field outback. There is a vivid green treeline in the distance with super bright blue cloudless sky. I say, "Oh wow!". It's just so beautiful and amazing thats is a dream. I run faster and stretch out my arms. I effortlessly soar into the sky. I feel the wind blow around me and I hear the rush of speed in my ears. I lose visual at that point but I don't care. I just close my eyes and soar with the air currents taking me where it wants. I feel so light and free and at peace. I dip down and back up and do lazy barrel rolls. My vision is in and out but I just focus on the feeling more than anything. At some point I dip down into the ground and flow through it like its water. I can actually see layers of rock and dirt and then I come back up like a fish jumping out of the water.

Suddenly I feel as if I have opened my physical eyes. I am back in bed. I am not sure if I have woken up. I am overwhelmed with good emotions at what just happened that I wipe my face with my hands. I see my fingers form a geometric pattern from 4 or 5 sets of hands. Yeah, I'm still dreaming. I move my hands back down but it just looks like my normal dark room. The geometric finger patterns were cool so I try it again. My subC does not disappoint. I enjoy the trippy show as I feel a surge of energy pulse through my body. I notice it is in sync with a spinning kaleidescope of geometric finger shapes. I think I must be having a DMT release. It's awesome.

After a few moments I lose my focus and have a FA. I am trying to clear my throat and it turns into loudly coughing up a lugie. My wife sets up and looks at me super annoyed. I think that she has nothing to be upset about after all that snoring.

#521 - DILD

I am in a version of a childhood friend’s house. I keep noticing these strange sores on my arms. Every time I look they have a new sore that starts trailing up more and more. At some point I go into total anxiety panic mode. I stumble into something like a hotel lobby full of people. I fall to my hands and knees and there is a pause. A peace comes over me and I gently float into a chair. There is a black haired woman across from me who was very animated in conversation, but now she has fallen into a trance.
A psychiatrist appears and starts talking to me (I’m not sure I how I know his profession). I ask him about the people in the room and he says,
“They don’t know because, they don’t know”.
For some reason this is an extremely profound bit of wisdom to me. “Ah yes! They are dream characters!”
Now fully lucid I decide to play with this knowledgeable dream character and start asking a lot of questions. I ask about the sores on my hands and he tells that I need to rid myself of that demon. I feel some initial fear but then calm myself and argue with him that I don’t believe in such things and I am not into religion. I forget what all was said after that but my keto diet was brought into it and I think maybe my demon was my struggle with such a restrictive diet plan (I have been struggling with electrolyte issues and energy levels as an long distance endurance runner in waking life and have been considering dropping the diet plan).
We continue conversation, but I get distracted by the fact I am still in a lucid dream and for some reason holding that amount of focus is getting unbearable. I lose lucidity a bit and go back to worrying about the sores on my arms. I wake up shortly after that.

#521

Was hurting so I moved to the couch. It was storming and every little noise kept waking me up. I eventually had a spontaneous OBE. I willfully drifted off the couch and into the kitchen. I enjoyed all the sensations as usual but was very aware of my open mouth breathing. I tried to stablize the dream more by crawling. Some woman walks by and I trip her by grabing her ankle and pushing on the back of her knee. Then I am floating over my dog laying asleep on the floor. I hug her. A noise wakes me up.