The Kestrel's Dreams

Wow. I've really let myself slide here... I won't post every single dream from January, but I will post the more meaningful/impressive ones. I've been trying Calea Z recently, so I'll mark the ones I had with CZ.

January 01, 2015

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Poor Donna

There was a really surreal moment in one of my dreams this night. I had been with Zukin, planning to go up north. We were driving, and then I sort of blacked out, and then I am in the water, doing a backflip through an innertube, or something. It was all slow motion and when I surfaced, I am in a lake. I swim up to the shore, where Zukin is waiting for me. We were apparently part-way to the property. We had stopped for a break, and now had to get back on the road again. There was a random young man at the beach who told us where we were out of the blue (we knew, and hadn't asked him), and wished us well on our way out. Flash Forward five years, and this man is dating Donna Noble, but was about to break up with her.

January 05, 2015 (With CZ)

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Utter Forgiveness

I was in the woods, running from some kind of wild animal. It caught up to me and was going to attack me, so I tried to strangle it... But then it turned into a human woman (who was now unconscious) and we were suddenly in my Oma's house. I was suddenly very worried. There were others with me now, and I feared (I was almost frenzied) that they would hate me and cast me out if they found out what I'd done.

When someone came into the room and saw the woman, they calmly came to her and picked her up, carried her to the couch and set her down, and began caring for her. They didn't show any signs of being mad at me, and said no words of loathing, scolding, etc. They just understood. It was suddenly very calm and peaceful.



Monsters and Climbing Naked

I was in some sort of apartment building in what I think was my hometown. I was with a group of refugees, and we were watching for signs of the giants that were after us. They were a bit like Titans. We began making plans for how we would be able to get to a checkpoint of some kind, and then enacted the plan. After checking for an all clear, I watched the team zigzag across the lawn of the apartment building. The route was completely counter intuitive and it would have made MUCH more sense to just shoot right for the spot they ended up in... But oh well.

I ran to where they were now, and we ran down the road for a distance. I ducked down an alley, which ended with a blank wall save for a door. I opened the door to find it was a door on the side of a 6th-or-so-floor of a building. And I realized I had nothing but a towel on now. There were stairs leading to the ground, and I had to go down them. I knew I had to, but I didn't know why. I started climbing down the ladder in my towel, and at some point I had to swap hand-holds completely, and it terrified me so much.

January 6, 2015 (With CZ)

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Forbidden(?) Love

I was at a fancy party, but had gotten there with a friend very early. There was no body in the round ballroom yet, so I went to the bathroom, which was for some reason crowded. I was in a huge black dress, and there was a rack for women's skirt cinches. Like, you took it off, put it on the rack, went to piss, and then got it back. I remember the bathroom being a bit steampunk (this whole dream was, really) and claustrophobic. When I got out of the bathroom, the ballroom was packed, and I could no longer find my friend. We were part of a secret rebel group, actually. We were here on a mission. The mission didn't require me to be with my friend, so I wandered about and mingled with the gentry, trying to get information from them. Then, I met a young man in a dashing steampunk-ish suit that looked like it was made to be with my dress. He was a soldier, or a security agent for the government, so we were supposed to be enemies, but I found myself so attracted to him. It was like electricity (yay, Clichés!) He almost literally swept me off my feet on the dance floor, and I was so worried about whether my friend/co-rebel was watching, for fear of being punished by the higherups... But at the end it turned out this man was also a rebel under cover. So it was alright that I had wild sex with him that night :D



Forgot my Shoes...?
For some reason this was a really striking dream. I went to a movie with my little brother and his friends, but realized as I got out of the car that I'd left the house without my shoes, or my wallet, and so he had to pay for me. After the movie, I got back home by walking through parts of the hospital in town. Like, I crossed town inside the hospital. It was like using the Nether to travel longer distances in the Overworld... The hospital is the Nether...

January 07, 2015 (With CZ)

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Home for the Holidays

I was working at some large, private Christian school (which, for the record, is SO not where I would want to teach) and it was the last day before the winter break. There were four or five classes that were normally held right in this huge hallway in the middle of the school, but my class was in a room down one of the side wings. I was walking out of the building and saw some old students and their Christmas projects at their tables in the hallways, and waved at them. I exited the building through the freight entrance thing, where someone was dragging a huge Christmas tree into the building... I wished them all a merry Christmas, and then saw my current mentor teacher in the parking lot. She wished me a merry Christmas, gave me a big hug, and then for some reason offered to wash my windshield for me. It smudged.

I picked up my little brother, brought him to my place, and then our parents came and picked us both us. While in the car, my mom was telling a story of something I had done as a child. Apparently I had gone up to a boy in my class and told him we were going to pair up and do lots of shit together. I had used a specific phrase often, but I can't remember now what that was. During the story, I was showing my [b]MoonMoon[b] in the car; my head was like on the car seat and my feet were hanging over my face? We pulled up to the house I grew up in and my brother and I were fascinated by the renovations my parents had made; the retaining wall to the right of the driveway was now made of lots of petrified logs with the rings facing outwards. They were rainbow as fuck and shiny. The driveway itself was also different. It was now a sort of red brick cobblestone type pavement. There was an ultra hard and transparent bordering on translucent coat over it all so that it would not wear away ever. But there weren't enough bricks apparently, and so there was a huge gap in the driveway where they had dug out the space of the bricks but hadn't had enough. It was like a small trench, and the car had a rough time going over it. I got out of the car and inspected the bricks, really liking the way they sort of shimmered. My neighbor came out, and complimented me on my shirt (I don't remember which one I was wearing).

January 08, 2015 (With CZ)

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Rich and Weird as FUCK

I was a member of a very rich but EXTREMELY eccentric family. We had lots of cuddle sessions with some large animal (I think they were Alpacas) and at some point I was flunking a class because I had a secret poor boyfriend, and so my parents docked one cuddle session per day for a whole month, and I was so sad. But I was really falling in love with who ever this low-class boy was, so I was okay with it all. We thought we had to keep it secret from my family because they would want me to date a rich man's son, but when they ended up finding out, the family was actually very okay with it. They even gave me back that cuddle session when they figured out I was only failing that class because of love.

My family invited him to come on our HUGE yacht (it was more like a personal cruise-ship) to play with the whales. We went to visit the whales at least once a week and they knew us well. they would do tricks and shit when ever they saw us coming. But this time they were all skittish and ended up swimming away from the yacht. We were confused but then a HUGE whale loomed out of the water and floated above the yacht. It had a shit ton of packed snow on its back somehow, and started slowly tilting sideways. I saw the snow start to fall onto the yacht, and panicked because it was enough to seriously harm us. I got knocked over the edge somehow but had hold of the railing, and managed to miss all the snow because of that. I apparently took a snap-video of the whole thing and sent it to my whole contacts list.

I ended up having to go to the bathroom at some point but accidentally went into the men's restroom. And I found out I was pregnant I think. That, or I was on my period and didn't have any supplies... Either way, I was REALLY embarrassed when I found out I was in the men's room. :D

January 13, 2015 (With CZ)

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Fuzzy Cars

I had driven to a clinic for my dad, who was there. I went inside but got scared of something, so I waited outside, where I noticed that there were lots of cars that were fuzzy and blue with brown hoods. Like, almost every other car was like that. It was weird. As if they were living things... A nurse came out of the clinic and offered me some candy to make me feel better since she'd seen me being uncomfortable before.


Sleepover

I was at home, and was having a sleepover in the hot-tub room so we could see a special comet that night. We saw the comet, and then also a double shooting star that arched all the way to the horizon, and stayed lit up for a few whole minutes. It was kinda beautiful!

All that SEAWEED

I was on a trip to Austria with my cohort. Apparently I had driven my car across the ocean, because when I got to the checkpoint, there was a bunch of seaweed all over my car and up in the rims. I remember driving through vivid, beautiful mountains, too.

New City?!

I was in Pokemon Omega Ruby, and was diving next to a cliff or something, and discovered a tunnel I had never seen before. I followed it and surfaced in a new city. I was ready to explore EVERYTHING like I always do in those games, and started talking to people. I ended up signing up for some sort of drawing, but knocked something over on top of someone right away and got disqualified, I think. I went into a store at the other end of this large town square, and talked to some cat-boy thing that had a piece of paper. He kept saying it said something, but every time I looked at it, it said something different. After three different paper messages, I got lucid for a very short time, and wandered around the town a bit. It was low-level lucidity and another of those ones where I just didn't feel the need to try to control anything and just watched what happened.

January 14, 2015 (With CZ)

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August Meals

I was on my way back home from a trip with my little brother, and two of my big brother's best friends, and one of my students who has Autism and his TA. (An odd mix of people)

We stopped at a McDonald's near home because my student. who was in my car in the passenger's seat, was saying he needed a break. He and his TA nearly opened the door before I stopped the car and got out to walk around and screamed a little. I went to the counter (it was like a food truck, but it was a real Micky D's... kinda weird) to order a double cheeseburger meal. I called it by the number, but the lady at the counter was a little confused, and then said, "Ooooh, you mean the August Meal?" I was confused, and she showed me the menu above the counter. Apparently they had started calling their meals by months instead of numbers. What I wanted was now the August Meal. I got a huge rubber car insert that would hold a burger as well as a rubber car drink holder, for free? It was some promotion they were having.

January 17, 2015

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Zuke's Acting Weird

I was at Zukin's place but she was talking to some other guy, ignoring me completely. I was a little upset by this, so I left and went down the road to a different co-op. There was some sort of small-scale party going on, so at first I was held up at the door, but then they let me in and took me upstairs. Zukin is there, in a room that was right above the porch I'd had to wait on. The floor was a really interesting pattern of black metal supports with sturdy glass bricks in them. So you could see down to the porch. It was pretty cool! I find out Zukin is also HERE, with the same guy. She is still talking to him, and it's looking like he is being way too flirty. Knowing that Zukin had her eyes on someone else, I tried to sit with them and deflect this guy's attention away from Zukin. I sat in a triangle with the two of them, so not in between them but not letting them in their own world, either. They started to cuddle, and Zukin was like, "It's all good Kestrel, we're just sharing warms." I said, "I can share warms, too..." But she ignored me and he like crawled over her and started kissing her neck. I sort of glared at Zukin, and she looked at me with this look that said "get lost."

I was so dejected by this that I just sort of wandered away wanting to cry. I looked around the room and had a strange feeling about the room... it seemed like something I had seen before, maybe in a dream... I had the inkling of something being off, especially with how Zukin had acted. She would never do that to me. I continued along the edge of the room and came to the entry to a stairwell with lots of stuff stored in it, and I tried to move stuff so I could go down these stairs... And realized I was completely naked. I tried to remember where my clothes had gone, because I had JUST been wearing them, and that feeling of things being off grew. I panicked, and rand own a different set of stairs to the bathroom. I was facing the door, wondering how I was going to get some clothes, when it hit me that I must be dreaming, which is why everything felt so strange. I looked at my hands and they were all nubby and gross looking.

I left the bathroom not really caring about what I was or wasn't wearing, and left the building and this weird anti-Zukin, to go flying. I had remembered the "go backwards" task just after taking a step forward, which was a little disappointing, but I jumped to fly in search of a crystal ball, instead. It took a few attempts to fly, which is weird because usually I can just do it easily. As soon as I was in the air, something shifted and cracked and the dream ended. I was back in my bed at home. This was either as False Awakening or I actually had woken up. I didn't RC so I don't know.



How Does It FEEL?

I was on a bus in some city with a river running through it. The bus was under a bridge hen there was a siren. It was an air-raid test, apparently, and people started getting off the bus, even though the bus driver was telling them not to, because it as safer in here. About 6 people, including me, stayed on the bus, and the bus driver started driving us around the city more, not letting us off. He said the idea was to look natural, but that we shouldn't be outside at all. Inside the bus was slightly safer, especially if it looked like it was on its normal rounds.

We got to the ocean shore, where there were some docks. He let us off here, saying we should be safe at this point. I looked up and noticed that the clouds were ALL animals. Like, giant sea turtles and eagles flying through the air, or giraffes or lions roaring. Some clouds were pretty patterns when I looked more carefully. I was now only with the bus driver and a kid, who looked a lot like one of my students but didn't quite feel like him. Then shit went down. Three drones of some sort were flying in formation above us, from my left to the right. Then another zoomed past, but stopped, and turned back to us. The bus driver told us to run for the buildings, which we did. The kid and I ran to the nearest building, which happened to be a public restroom. The women's one was locked though, and the men's one had lots of weird stuff stored in it, like a large plastic horse head... We kept going, trying to find places to get indoors while the drones were hovering above people, threatening them.

Things seemed to be over shortly after the kid and I found shelter, and then we walked on a bridge over the river that went through the city. I told him that if we walked down a path by the water, we would get back to where the bus had been when all this had started.

Somehow I ended up at home. For some reason I was laying down on the driveway, perhaps just glad that the "test" air raid was done. My eyes were closed, and when I opened them, there was one of the drones right above me. Like it was hovering less than a foot above my body, covering me completely. It tilted so that the end of it was touching my inner thigh, and it as saying things like "how does it feel to be violated? you space is penetrated, how does that feel, eh?" I was so scared but thankfully I woke up.

December 07, 2014

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Minecraft Meets AoT

I was in Minecraft, and there were HUGE pigs and whatnot. Like... HUGE. The size of mountains. They took a lot of hits to kill, even with a diamond sword with enchantments. But when I finally did get one of them to fall, I got a shit-ton of porkchops. I also killed a giant chicken, and it dropped one massive chicken, already cooked. I was sitting there, eating it, when I encountered a massive pair of siblings. I was in a hammock over the door in a kitchen, right next to a fridge. I was having trouble getting the meat off the tendons for some reason, when the children came. They were so big. I think they were trying to kill me, becaue the next thing I knew, one of their fists was coming down on me.

I flew up higher than the Titan children could reach, but they seemed to be getting all the larger. I was flying through a mountainous landscape, looking at the huge chickens and pigs and cos below me.




Ruins Fee

I was on a large boat with my brothers, and we were headed for an island in Thailand, or just off the coast, or something. It had ancient ruins on it, and we wanted to go see them. I parked the boat rather sloppily, and then had to redo it a few times because the person who was supposed to catch the rope I threw wasn't there and I kept missing.

When I finally did get us docked, the dock master asked for the parking payment and entrance fee to the island. It was the Thai equivalent of $35. Or it was 35 bot, which is like one US dollar, I believe. Anyways, I didn't have any money, so I asked my big brother if I could borrow some money from him. But just as I was paying the dock-master, our mom came up on a jet ski and told us we had to leave here at 3:00 because our grandparents had just gotten into town. It was already 2:53, so we basically had to leave right then.

December 01, 2014

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I was a new resident/member of a co-op that doubled as a comedy theater troup... I was going to be in a skit with two others for the next show, so I was trailing them to get used to the place. It turns out basically the whole troup is involved in some kind of scandalous murder, even though they didn't know it. There was a group of them that was orchestrating it all, using the other members as pawns in their schemes. The two I was with were the only ones who knew about it and tried to stop the baddies. We went to the leader of the troup, who we believed to be unaware of what was going on. We told him about it all, and he was really worried and told us to keep on our toes and watch out for ourselves.

Our assignment for chores that day was to clean downstairs, so the two of them and I went downstairs to clean. We ended up near the boiler room, and we heard the voices of the baddies, and scattered. I ended up in the boiler room, alone. It was pitch dark, and hot. Suddenly there was a faint red light from across the room. There were stairs there, and someone was coming down. It was the leader. He came up to a spot in the pipes and there was the REAL leader, hanging in the pipes. He had overgrown facial hair and looked really ragged. The Fake Leader said something like, "There you are, you little fool. You want your food, eh? Here you are. You little fool." He talked to the real leader like an animal in a cage. The real leader was like a savage now. His eyes were like an animal's and he was tearing at the food. The Fake Leader was patting him on the head and grinning.

Then I heard screams from upstairs, and left in a panic, but unseen and unheard by the Fake Leader, who stayed with the real leader. When I got upstairs, everything was fine. Turns out, it was because of the skit at dinner. Apparently that's what they did there; there was a skit during dinner every day. The crowd was screaming/laughing at it, but I had only heard the screaming from downstairs. I met my two friends who were alright and already at the table. They had been worried about me but were glad to see I was alright. I told them I had to talk to them later, and went to get some food.

All the food was in a bus for some reason. The buffet was set up along the back wall of the bus. I was trying to get specific kinds of lettuce from the bowl of salad, but they kept falling to the floor when I did. I gave up on it and decided to just get some pizza squares and a piece of the cake. Just as I was putting the last bit of food on my plate, the bus started moving. Apparently we were going on a field trip in the mountains. I was trying to make sure my food didn't spill, and apparently I was sitting in the "adult seat," which was undesirable. It was higher up and the table in front of it was too low. Oh well. I set down my food and looked out the window to watch the scenery go by. The bus was on a high bridge over a valley with lots of buffalo in it. I took my spoon and pretended to scoop up the buffalo. Like, every time I scooped them, the buffalo there scattered. It was like I was controlling them from my seat in the bus.

Then, I was flying over the heard. In another valley, there was a heard of humans, too. I flew over them as well, along a river gorge. The landscape was green and grassy and at the same time somehow red-dirt desert-y. It's hard to explain.

I flew closer to the ground now, and saw a group of people at the top of the next hill. There were lots of children and some people I know, so I landed there and milled amongst the people... I saw a small elephant being tackled by some kids. It was actually a little disturbing, as it reminded me of that picture of the little elephant being attacked by some lionesses. I watched this elephant go by me, and then walked up to the ledge of the river gorge, where there were a line of children sitting down. I looked over the ledge; it was very high up. I saw my mom's high school friend, H, nearby. I called her over, and asked her when the bus would be back, and where it would pick us up. She shrugged. She told me that the bus driver would call her when they got there and tell her where to meet them. She handed me her phone and asked if I wanted to keep it so I would know when and where to go. I shook my head and gave it back to her, wondering if I should just make my way back down to the road and wait there. But I didn't know if the bus would come right up to the cliff to pick us up, so I stayed there for the time being.

I walked through some scattered trees to a little plaza with a fountain. I sat on a stone bench that circled the fountain. There was an annoying mascot thing with a huge hunk of cheese trying to get me to take a selfie with it. I turned around to face the rest of the mountain above us (we were about half-way up the mountain here). It was beautiful; the mountain side was all bare except for these tall, skinny, wooden animal figures. They were made with different colors of wood and stood along the mountainside, all looking as if they were walking in the same direction (to my right). There was a vast landscape of them, and something about them was tribal, though I can't pinpoint what it was. I took out my phone to take a picture of it so I would be able to see it forever, but every time I hit the button to take a picture, the view would switch to front-facing and take a selfie. The stupid mascot thing was in all of them, too. It was getting in my way, and I was convinced it was the one making my camera do that. I elbowed it in the stomach to make it go away, and turned back to the mountain above us. But it was different. There were large, almost junglish trees scattered instead of the animal figures.

I said, "WHAT GIVES. It's different!" And then I realized, and said, "WAIT. Haha! I'm dreaming!" I looked down at my hands and confirmed that I was dreaming. I grinned. There were so many children around, and I wanted to try the task from last month about telling a kid they were in a dream. It was too late for that one, but I still wanted to try it.

I walked up to a kid who was sitting on the crest of the grassy hill, and said, "Hi! My name is Ms. Kestrel. What's your name?"
"Nathan..."
"Hi Nathan! Where are you from?"
"I'm from BC. Where are you from?"
"Oh, I'm from around there! I'm from K."
"Oh, nice." Nathan smiled.
"Actually. Do you wanna know something?"
"What?"

I said, "You know how sometimes you are dreaming, and you realize you're dreaming, while you dream?"
Nathan brightened up and nodded. "Yeah, I've heard of that!"
"It's called lucid dreaming. This is my lucid dream right now. That means you're from my subC, actually."

I watched for his reaction. At first he was just blank, but then he says, "Maaannn. Oh that's just TERRIBLE."

He sounded dejected but also detached, like he didn't actually care. I patted his back and stood up. Now, I wanted to do at least one of the December tasks. The one that came to mind first was to throw a snowball at a DC.

I looked around. No snow here... But I was on a mountain, and snow was normal on a mountain. All I had to do was go higher up and I was sure I'd find snow. I jumped up to hover a foot above the ground. Once I was sure of my stability, I flew close to the ground up the mountain until I hit the road above us. I turned to my right, where the road curved over a bridge surrounded by trees. The trees created a sort of tunnel around the road. I hovered through this tunnel and on the other side, I heard a different stream. It sounded cold somehow, and I was happy to see some snow on the railings at the side of the road. I scooped it up with my hand, but it was all powdery, not good for a snowball. It actually felt more like fake snow. I kept taking samples, getting closer to the river, which was mostly frozen over. I kept getting powdery, fake-ish snow. I turned to the trees, and saw a clump of snow gathered in the branches. Powdery snow wouldn't clump like that, so I was hopeful for this patch. I scooped it up, and packed it into a nice snowball. Perfect. Now I turned back up to the road, and turned back to the direction I had come from. I flew back through the tunnel of trees, and then left back to the plaza. There were stone stairs downward. The fountain thing was to my right, and there was a stone tunnel ahead of me, where I saw all the kids leaving.

I called out, "HEY KIDS!" And Nathan and a few others turned right as I threw the snowball. They were looking at it like I had thrown an angry, venomous snake at them, not a simple snowball. They shrieked and some of them cried. Until they realized it was a snowball, and it missed them. It landed on the ground between Nathan and another kid, and powdered them all with snow, rolling along the ground with un-dampened velocity as far as I could see, leaving a line of snow where it rolled and showering the kids with snow as it passed.

The kids all started laughing and cheering, and said "THAT WAS AMAZING!!" And started playing in the snow.

I was pretty satisfied with that, and decided to just fly upwards until I lost the dream (I could already feel it was ending soon). I didn't make it very far before I woke up.

November 11, 2014

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UGh. This was NOT a fun dream. This is the first time I've had a lucid nightmare...



I was walking in the mountains outside my Big City, with Zukin and my brothers. We had decided to go camping or whatever near the top of one of the peaks. (I think it was to the northeast of the city, based on the general feeling I had, though I'm not positive)

The place was weird. It had a jungle-gym-like entrance (it was either a rope tunnel upwards to the second floor, or something), but there was also a normal entrance near a picnic table. The house thing went into the rock-wall behind it, which was way cool. I was sitting on this picnic bench with the others, and looking around. There was a balcony-type veranda thing behind me and to the right, which I liked to sit on. To my right, which was downhill, the driveway thing slip like a wishbone to make a sort of turn-around where it met the road. To my left, which was further up the hill, there were other houses or something. It went around a left-turn and we couldn't see what was past this area.

We acquired some guests, and there was a point where I could see a parking lot in the city, where I knew one of the people we were expecting was leaving from. So I knew when they left. None of us had cars apparently, so we were kinda stuck (I iguess we could walk there, but we could only drive away). This guy came leaping past us (like in John Carter) and he was about to leap right over the house and onwards, but we convinced him to stay. It was here that I sort of had the feeling I was dreaming, but I didn't do a reality check.

Then , the person we were expecting arrived; it was my ex. Then I knew I must be dreaming, because A) we don't talk much anymore and B) he's living on the other side of the country haha. I looked at my hands, and realized I was dreaming.

But it really wasn't a very high level of awareness.

That's when I started getting a bad feeling about the place. There was a beautiful sunset, and good company, and an amazing house to stay in for the night, but I couldn't shake this slightly bad feeling. It got worse as the sun set more (and, knowing my dreams, sunsets/darkening of the world in general are beautiful but a bad sign)

It seemed to be in a perpetual state of sunset, though for the most part. Then a car drove past, coming down from the mountain. When I looked in the windows, I could have sworn I saw creepy-ass ghoul faces staring at me. I blinked, and there was a lone man in the driver's seat. The car went down to the rode, and ended up turning around to come back up. The driver unrolled his window and asked the guests we'd gathered if they wanted rides down the mountain. They all readily agreed.

Watching them leave, packed into that little sedan, was like watching my own death or something, for some reason. I was suddenly vary anxious, and said to my brothers, ex and Zukin, "Let's go inside... like now."

They all nodded and got up to go inside, but I had a little makeup bag filled with various kinds of sweets, mostly chocolate. As I picked it up, my hands were shaking so much that I dropped it and the sweets rolled all over the place. I grew even more frantic, and told them all to wait for me. The only one who wasn't inside yet was my big brother, who was stepping inside the door. I stammered, "Wait B don't leave me out here you need to WAIT!!!!" (the last word was shrill, cracked, hysterical)

I was on my hands and knees trying to gather up the dispersed sweets, barely able to put them back into the bag. My brother stopped, turned, and came to help me. He asked me what was wrong, but all I could get out was, "I don't know. I'm scared and I don't know why but I'm so scared!" I was still shaking so much I couldn't even pick up chocolates anymore. He picked them up and helped me put them back in the little makeup pouch, but at this point I was covering my ears and rocking back and forth, and my eyes were shut so tight it hurt. He asked what was so important about the sweets and what was wrong, again.

I didn't even know. "I DON'T KNOW. I'm just so scared. I don't know why and I hate it I hate it I really, really hate it..!"

There was a swooshing sound and I screamed at the top of my voice.

Then I woke up... I RC'd about 15 times, using various of the methods to be sure I was awake
It was only 1:40 am. For the next hour at least, I was just laying there, still very edgy. I was convinced my room was haunted, that there was something looming over me. Every time I closed my eyes I could see it; It was wrapped in some sort of cloth, almost like a mummy mixed with a zombie, but it had no face, and didn't move an inch, ever. I could sense it and hear it, in a really weird, disconnected way.
There were also some noises. There was a scratching once, and a clang another time, and then a thump around half an hour after I woke up... Could have been anything, but I was convinced there was something evil in my room, and so it was very hard to fall back asleep.

November 02, 2014

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I was interning in a new classroom, at a new school... it was right next to a strip mall of sorts. During the lunch break on my second or third day there, I realized I'd forgotten to pack a lunch, and so I went to the strip mall to try and find some food. I decided to stop by a clothing store since I needed a new shirt, but when I asked the floor helper about a simple shirt, she just pointed at my stomach and chin and scoffed that there would be NOTHING in my size in this store. I left that place, but first I looked around the bottom floor and passive-aggressively fucked with some stuff.

I couldn't find a fast food place, but there did end up being a little steampunk-y Japanese place inside the Target or something. I went there, and ordered something called a Haru Dish (hah, one of my students' names is Haru). The chef who was putting my dish on the tray was messing with me, pretending "that was all" with each little added ingredient. I was in a hurry to get back to class because my break was almost over, but the guy did make me feel better about what had happened at the clothing store, because he was trying to make me smile.

By the time I did have my food and was able to start walking back to the school, apparently not only was lunch break over, but the bell was ringing for everyone to go home; I'd missed the entire afternoon... I tried to find someone to tell that I was sorry, but no one was there. I did find a bike, though. I got on the bike and rode it far down the main street the school was on. I rode the bike all the way out of town (apparently most of the town was in that strip mall) and into a sprawling, flat desert-like place. It got dark, and I met my little brother, who had my car. I put the bike in the trunk, and we both started driving back to the small town. Apparently I had sunglasses on that was making my vision all wonky; I could only see in a horizontal line and I couldn't drive this way, so I asked my brother to find my normal glasses and give them to me.

I stopped the car at the side of the road still a few miles out of the town, and we decided to walk the rest of the way. There were mountains with shrubs and trees to our right, and a bike trail led out into those mountains. I decided to take that trail (and apparently it was somehow sunset again, not night like it had been a little bit ago).

I rode the bike through the mountains for what seemed like a long time, and hope I wouldn't get lost... eventually I came out of the mountains and came back to that main street just outside of town. My brother was at the trail-head with my car again, and we drove back to the school.

August 14, 2014 (part 2)

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Premonition

So, around noon, when we were driving to a fossil dig site to find some fishies, I suddenly remembered what may have been a dream:



I was in the car with my brothers and dad, and we were turning onto a portion of road that has been closed until this day of our vacation here in Utah. We drove up the hilly road, over a mountain. I remember it being fairly steep, and winding and there was a rock wall on our right, and a ledge with a few small trees to our left. I remembered the curvature of the road and the imagery very vividly...



Which is what made me ask, in the car today, "Did we take N. O. Pass yet or did I dream that...?"
"You dreamt it, Kestrel."
"Oh."


Later today, we drove on the road, going the other direction. Even going the opposite way, I could tell... it was basically exactly as it had been in my dream. A few curves were slightly different, but the steepness and the landmarks were exactly the same.


I have never been on this road. It's been closed the whole time we were here, until today. This was such a surreal experience for me, and I had to RC a few times in the car because it was the same as my dream.

July 30, 2014

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Dogs in Germany and a Failed Test

I was living in Germany, as part of my Masters in Education program. There was apparently a special set of classes abroad for people who spoke German. I was living in an apartment on a hill somewhere, it looked like it was near where I lived in Tübingen while I was there. My brother was apparently there, too. I was talking to him about how we would move all of our stuff to the airport. We had rented a car for the whole time we were there, and because we were in apartments, we had all this stuff we needed to either sell of take back home with us. I was under the impression that we were going to take it all back home. I'd also gotten two dogs while I was there. One teeny-tiny dog (which is so unlike me) and one very large dog. They've never been in the car before (I got them from a neighbor, so I didn't drive them to my apartment), so I was worried about how they would handle being in the car, and also worried about whether I would be able to get them on the plane and back home with me.

As I was putting things in the car, and getting a space ready for the dogs, my aunt L was there, for some reason. She wanted to ride in the trunk, where I was going to put the dogs. She was very adamant about it and got in the trunk, and wouldn't leave. The car was an old hatchback, by the way.

My friend Sammie was also living in the same apartment complex as I was. She was going to need an extra room for another month, so I offered her mine, and went to live at my host family's house for the rest of the time. They were gone on vacation, so I stayed at their place and watched the house for them. I was working out with Sammie all those details. I thought I was going to b there for another month, but it turned out my flight back was in a week. We somehow worked it all out, but I can't remember how.

Then, I went to check my grades from the exam I had taken for my final class. I got the results, and found out I had failed miserably and would need to take supplementary classes. But I was leaving in a week, and couldn't get my flight changed to a later date. I was miserable, and since I was at the school, I went to one of the monitors on the wall where we could check our school information. I wanted to make sure they hadn't outright kicked me out of the program. I did THAT badly. I went to a wall, hooked two parts into a device, and pulled a lever. A wall of water came down and an image was projected onto it, and I used the water-wall like a touch-screen to select files and options and whatnot. A tour group of incoming students was watching me the whole time, with looks of awe on their faces, but I had my head pressed against the wall in dejection because I was so upset.





(I woke up to loud music outside, and realized I had only been asleep for about an hour; it was 2:30 am... Fell back asleep, and stayed asleep until my alarm went off)

Poisoned the Wrong Guy

I was with Zukin in a classroom at one of the high schools in my hometown. It was apparently the office for the German faculty (though I don't know that they even have more than one or two German classes at that school haha). I knew I was at that school because of all the windows around us.

Zukin and I made an iced tea and shared it while watching some of the other teachers. I think we were interviewing for some sort of tutoring position. We didn't trust one of the teachers; he wore a suite of armor that was white and blue; mostly striped but with other intricate patterns all over it, too. So we made a plan: Zukin would be my student and offer him some iced tea. But there would be poison slipped into it.

But she went too far away and offered the poisoned tea to a different teacher on accident. Oops.





In The Mountains

I was in the mountains, on a train or bus or something going along what I think was either the northern or the southern edge of a valley. I looked out over the mountains, and noticed that they were green and lush at the bottom and in the valley, but the tops of the mountains were like the mesa biome in Minecraft; layered with orange, red, and yellow colored rock and sand, with the very peaks being vast and snowy. I don't remember what I was doing there, but it was beautiful and strange.

July 29, 2014

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Little Dragon

I was helping very small children do an obstacle-course of some sort. For the part I was helping with, they were supposed to jump onto the back of a small concrete dragon, which would start flying. they were supposed to stay on the dragon for three minutes, with their little feet standing in two little divots on the dragon's neck.

I was helping one little girl in particular, and she was terrified of the obstacle. She had been crying almost the whole time until the dragon, but now she was so terrified that she couldn't even move, let alone cry. I felt like my hand was going to fall off, she was gripping it so tight.





I woke up to my alarm, and knew that I had remembered a dream in the middle of the night but not written it down, so I stayed still and closed my eyes to try to remember it. Instead, I fell into a new dream (possibly a continuation of the one I was trying to remember):

Held Up at Oma's

I had just gotten back from a trip with Zukin and my brothers. We had driven down the busier road near my Oma's house, until we reached a neighborhood I didn't know much about. We got out of the car and started exploring on foot, until we came to a woods on a hill. We wandered around a bit, and there was a slight buzzing sound, and then a holographic screen appeared in front of us. On it were details about a mission we had to complete; Zukin and I had to infiltrate a house at the bottom of the wooded hill through its back porch. We set off down the hill. I think there may have been an encounter with a warewolf or some other kind of fantastical forest beast, but I don't remember much about it. When we came around the back of the house we were targeting, we noticed a little girl playing in the back yard. Oh shit, that might make this more difficult.

But, it actually made it easier. The little girl turned out to be one of the third graders I've been working with over the past month. She saw me, waved me over, and showed me something she was playing with in the back yard. So Zukin and I befriend her enough for her to let us onto the back porch, and there I find a huge tampon, which I then have to put in (it was weird). There was a dinging sound and a green check-mark appeared in front of me: Mission complete.

Then, when we had gotten back to Oma's house, I had to get something from inside: in the back room, where the toys and books and games are. I can't remember what it was that I had to get, though. As I'm leaving the house, I notice that there are a bunch of new cars in the driveway, and we're blocked in. My whole extended family was there, for a celebration of my aunt M's birthday; but I had to get out of there. Zukin and my brothers were waiting for me in the car...! I said hi to Aunt M. and wished her a happy birthday, but told her I had to go because I had important business to take care of.

I felt an itch on my arm, and looked down. I had a huge ringworm all over both my arms. I remember it so distinctly that I could trace it out on my arms right now.

I moved to scratch the itch, and opened my eyes in my bed. I was so disoriented because I thought I still had a ringworm. And then I realized I'd fallen into a dream and found I only have 20 minutes to be ready for school. YAY. I loved that I got an extra dream out of it, but I don't like having to rush to get ready in the morning.





This one is from the nap I took today:

Mountains

I was in the mountains. They reminded me of the Guadalupe Mountains in Texas. I was in a small hut at the edge of a valley, and across the valley slightly to my right, one of my cohort-mates was in a tent on the mountain. To my left, a road wound along the mountain, with a few houses lining it. I don't remember exactly why we were there (Zukin was there and also more of my cohort-mates), but we were yelling across the valley to communicate. It wasn't working so well, since I couldn't hear very well, and so we all slowly meandered to the center of the valley, which ended up turning into the Media Center (fancy words for Library) at the elementary school. We gathered and talked about the plans for the next few weeks, though I can't remember what those plans were.

July 13, 2014

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Bikeride

I was with my family, and we were coming back home from yet another vacation (my subconscious seems pretty fixated right now). Mom and dad drove in the car, but my brothers and I all took bikes. So we left a lot earlier than mom and dad. We rode through a park, but that's all I remember.




Some Famous Pool

I was with my bothers again, plus a few of my friends (Zukin was there). We were all visiting this famous pool. There were all sorts of protocols we had to go through before we were allowed to enter the pool; we had to shower like three times, get tests done, and I think there was some anti-radiation chamber we had to go in, too. When we got out to the pool, it was crowded, but we found a spot in a corner of it, near a section that had been roped off for a reserved party of people.




Military Training

I was with Zukin, taking a tour of some military training camp for teens. We entered a huge gym from a courtyard... In the center of the huge gym was a climbing tower that looked like a crane or something, at a slight angle. Teens were climbing up it on all four sides. They didn't have harnesses or anything.




Shit that's a BEAR!

I was with my family, somewhere in the mountains. We had been visiting with my grandpa, who happened to have a cottage in some small mountain town (I think my dream grandpa has houses all over the place lol)

My dad and brothers and I go on a hike through the mountains, and we take along a special phone that will track our progress and time how long it took us to get to certain parts of the trail and back home. The plan was for mom and her group to do the same thing, but they forgot to turn it on when they went.

On the last day of our stay there, we all went for one last hike. We took the car to the starting point of the hike, and on the way, I saw a male and female wild boar, rummaging in the grass for bugs or whatever it is they eat. Then, we passed a vegetable field, and I noticed a male wild boar. Then I saw a man in the field, and I was thinking, Oh, shit, that guy must be terrified... run, guy, run!

And then the boar saw the man, and started charging him. I was scared for the man, but instead of running, he just stands there. Or so it seems. I soon see him lifting up in the air, and I 'realize he's using his feet against two sturdy poles to climb upwards, to a height where the boar can't reach him. Then, it got amazing: He got higher, and I noticed a trolly-type handle, which he grabbed, and zoomed across the field, toward the road where we were driving. He jumped from the first trolly to another one that ran along the road, and zoomed right beside our car. He looked in and winked at us, and I noticed he was wearing patchy clothing, but didn't realize it was The Face until I woke up later (I really should know I'm dreaming whenever I see him, by now. Goodness).

I was amazed by all this, and turned to my brothers, asking if they had gotten it on video so we could put it on yuotube, because I knew no one would believe me if I just told them what happened. But nobody had caught it on tape, and I was sad.

When we parked by the trailhead, we got out of the car and wandered up the trail a bit to a spot overlooking the road, near a stream. The trail continued into a heavily forested area, Lots of pine trees and some birch and maple and ash trees, too. It was an odd mixture of all sorts of trees. We all stopped here to gather our supplies and set a schedule and get ready, but dad forgot something in the car, and left, saying he'd be right back. I wandered a bit, looking at the small things like plants and bugs and tree bark. I stood for a while on a large, flat, rocky area at the bank of the stream (which may have been more like a small river, actually). There were some boulders and one tree to my right as I faced the water, and the forest and the mountain to my left. I heard mom and my little brother talking, and went to see what they were looking at:

"Look, it's a rabbit!" said my mom. I looked and saw what she must have been talking about: There was a rustling in some bushes below us, and It did look like it could be a rabbit, but something was off. I saw spiny things, and thought maybe it was a porcupine, but when I looked closer, I realized it was a baby bear.

"Oh shit, that's a BEAR!" I whispered as frantically as I could. I looked around, and saw the mother nearby, closer to us than the baby bear was. I pulled them back slowly. My big brother was saying, "To the river, to the river...!" But I was thinking that if bears fished in rivers like these, would we really be any safer there? We looked around for dad, but we couldn't see him, and I hoped he was still at the car. Then there was a strange, repeated noise that I can't even describe. It continued until I woke up a few seconds later, and I could still hear it when I opened my eyes.

July 07, 2014

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I was with some of my cohort-mates and Zukin, and we were all going to a scholastic-or-PBS-or-something sale in a building that reminded me greatly of a train station (specifically Shining Time Station). There was a sale for teachers, but when we got there, we found out you only got that sale if you had a PBS account, which you could only have if you were also a parent of a child under the age of three. We were pissed and raised a fuss, but didn't end up getting the discount anyways D:

On the way out of the market, there was a display with a whole bunch of Halloween masks and hats and accessories and shtuff. There were green and purple witch's fingers, and someone in the group said, "They look like a finger on top of another finger" because the nails were so long.

On the way back, we talked about random things that I don't remember, but I do remember the walk itself and the landscape. We were walking along a path/road (it was at once narrow like a walk-way but wide like a road. Very surreal and variable) through slight hills. It was night time, but there were hardly any street-lights. I could see the lights of the city ahead of us, and mountains to our left. We walked down the valley path, and I noticed it split multiple times, and was very bridge-y. As in there were lots of random ups to make bridges that weren't needed.

July 05, 2014

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Exploding Lightning

I was in a class, cutting up paper and taping them to note cards (this is funny, because I actually had to do that for one of my elementary education classes). The class was in a mountain; like, literally, there was a door in the side of a mountain that led to this classroom.

It was time to change classes, and I had to go to math... It was in a room across the valley, so we all had to walk through said valley to get to the other door in the other mountain. I opened the door, and it was breathtaking.

The lighting was surreal; There was a storm raging in the sky, but it was still fairly light in the valley; almost like day-time (or maybe more like dusk). I looked up at the sky; the lightning was more like fireworks. It was exploding. I know it was lightning though. It was distinctly lightning, and yet it wasn't behaving like it. Every bolt spread out in a starburst before striking. It looked amazing.



Class Again

In this fragment, I was also in a class, but it was a different one. I was in an outdoor amphitheater-type classroom. There was a big stage at the front, where the teacher(s; a man and a woman) were demonstrating the stuff we were learning. It may or may not have been dirty...

Once class was over, I was waiting for my ride, and so I looked around; I was sitting in the top-left corner of the room. To my left, instead of a wall, was a steep (but not too steep to climb) grassy hill. There was a huge floor-to-ceiling window behind me, at the back of the room, but I didn't look out of it to see what was there.

My ride showed up in the form of my younger cousin, who just graduated high school.