Lucid-schizo-dreamer

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING PRECOG

21:30 GMT+9 – sleep

My biggest fear
On some strange shop (like some Japanese shops I’ve been at) with really attractive cakes and sweets, but I couldn’t really tell if that’s what they were. Then a guy on the shop is taken down a corridor and told there’s a test to him. Behind a big door at the end of the corridor is the scariest thing that has ever haunted his dreams. In his case he says he used to play a game with his friends in which they’d hide and seek and the one seeking the others would incarnate a scary character they’d call the fog-man, a mythical creature that would take away the soul of the one found by him – and then this kid would replace the fog-man in his role. The man said he used to have nightmares with the real fog-man taking his soul. Then the people overseeing this test told this man that whatever he’d find behind that door would be his own mind’s creations and therefore if he was certain of that, they wouldn’t possibly harm him, but if he failed to recognise that... The door opened and out of it came a dense thick fog. He entered and the door was closed.
I also wanted to play. I opened the door and there was still fog but no signs of the man. The fog disappeared. I tried to think about what is that scares me the most and had this vague feeling of something unknown and scary coming out of the darkness and attacking me but before it would materialise I decided I was in the control of my mind and therefore no fear would take over. Then all the fog and light darkness dissipated and I found myself in an empty room with a mirror and a door. I positioned myself in front of the mirror, saw my reflexion. I was dressed in white and yellow and although I looked a bit strange it was still my normal look, no monstrous face or anything of the kind. I’m semi-lucid and I dance a little bit both to increase lucidity and test my image on the mirror. I manage to prolong lucidity but it is still weak in terms of control. Not sure about what to do I decide to summon all of the people I know through the door. Soon I start seeing people from my past, present acquaintances, family, “enemies”. I can’t tell if everyone is there, it would be impossible, but soon they start interacting with me.
I lose lucidity. I am with my aunt India and my friend Zilla. Zilla decides to call my old friend Mara, whom I don’t see since her wedding. Her brother answers the phone. Zilla doesn’t say a word and he gets upset. He hads the phone over to Mara in the hope the person will talk to her. She asks “who’s there?” and I can see both people on each side of the line now. I tell Zilla this is a stupid game and I don’t see the point of it. Mara then thinks she knows who can be and gets very worried. She says “don’t worry, I will come for you. I’ll help you.” Obviously she thought someone in distress was needing her help. I tell Zilla to please stop it and just say something on the phone!
Then I am engulfed by a lot more people I know and there’s this lady, who’s my opponent in my work and hates my guts, among them. When I see her I remember we were both at a same party some past time and we talked to each other when we were so drunk already and our hate transformed into attraction and we had kissed. I was wondering how could we still be mad at each other after that. We had been stripped down from our divergences and connected as human beings, but here we were still as enemies.
Then I’m outside in some big city with skyscrapers and neon lights. I enter a van and someone else is by my side. Zilla is on front seat by the side of the driver. She hands me over a synthesizer she bought but I already have other things on my lap I also bought and she feels angry with my refusal to take up more stuff.
Then on some kind of mall I see a lady doctor famous in my country who is giving an interview about birth and how women should embrace hospital methods instead of this trend of natural child birth at home, cause so much can go wrong and they need medication and blah-blah. I go to her and make a phenomenal speech to counterbalance – not radical, but very well balanced I refute her ideas that seem to approach giving birth as being seriously ill. Then my friend Zilla and others come with a more radical attitude and start making hate speech and mess up everything. I later ask why they did it and they said I sounded to compromising. I told them I had simply used skilful means to pass the message across without conflict. By then I have a group of followers and admirers but among this group there are a few who don’t understand my way of doing things and always create a fuss. I’m on some high room with view over some kind of inner court. People are down there celebrating the result of some football (soccer) game and I comment loudly about the frivolity of such celebration. They get upset. They accuse me of being peaceful and moderate to the outside but quite radical inside and that the radical activists that are around me just reinforce that I am a secret extremist. As I seek to be alone to digest such accusations, these two radical friends of mine follow me and I scream at them to leave me alone, that it is their fault people think such things of me. Walking down a street I encounter another guy that went to school with me. We talk and I conclude the big issue here to be solved is if I am becoming what my father said I would become or the opposite of that. Am I an extremist under disguise or am I really becoming moderate and if so, am I moderate in the sense my father preached (which resembled too much with conformity) or am I moderate due to wisdom and maturity? As I wander through these philosophical matters, I conclude, after all this dream sequence, that my biggest fear of all, is to become like my father or the person my father wants me to be.

03:00 GMT+9

Cat stapled
My cat is showing some discomfort. I cuddle him and find a staple on his belly. I take it off gently. My mom is upset and worried and I search for more. I find lots of staples on his skin. We don’t know how this happened and feel sorry for the poor fellow.

Friends and relationships
I’m in the middle of a crowd who’s watching a movie on an open air cinema. I am by the side of two old girl friends from school and all is fine until it starts raining. At first it’s ok, but my friends start complaining it’s raining too much and open an umbrella. Then not even that is enough and they want to leave. But I’m just fine. The rain is not really wetting me and I say it is just dream rain. Still they leave and I decide to go along. Didn’t go lucid.
Then sitting around a wooden rectangular table with my friends. One is Mara and she says her husband calls her names and I assume he is also violent with her. She asks for advice and I say she needs to get away from him, but she doesn’t want to. Then he also joins the table and I change subject but she says we can go on, that she doesn’t want to make it a secret. My other friend present doesn’t understand this, thinks he’ll get mad and beat her up later but I say maybe she wants to confront him but can’t do it alone, so we should help. He says he likes her, but she didn’t reveal to be the woman of his dreams and so he gets angry sometimes out of frustration. I ask him why doesn’t he simply leave her and go look for that dream woman? I say if my dream guy was Brad Pitt, I would go after him, no matter what and not beat some other guy for not being Brad Pitt. He feels embarrassed by seeing the ridiculous and we laugh together.
Then my boyfriend comes up and he insists on having sex immediately. I don’t think it is appropriate and also I feel like he wants to force me like a punishment for something. He drags me to some room and rips my clothes off but I get really upset with his attitude and I escape from him. Outside I meet this guy who I had a crush for in highschool. I am happy to see him and I follow him. He is climbing some steps to go inside a house. I go to. It’s like an antique shop but with rooms. I lie down on some sofa, my friend who was with me on the wooden table before is here now again and notices my interest in this guy. She says I should go for it right now but I feel bad, I just said no to my boyfriend. Then the guy comes to me and ask if I have some deodorant. I find that question completely dislocated but my friend says he is really into me and wants to be fragrant for me. I feel yuc!

06:00 GMT+9 – wake up

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING PRECOG

01:30 GMT+9 – sleep

A murder and lost in chitchat with friends
A lady murders her daughter – drowns her on a lake or so – and I know but I have no evidence to prove my claim. She actually asked me to help her eliminate all proof and I helped her in the hope to actually get some evidences preserved. I did manage to keep one crucial evidence and I went to look for a police station. Along the way I meet my friend Evangelion and he helps me out. He goes talk to the police and comes back saying they didn’t care at all. I think about how could they not care about a murder? But I go away for now. I come back a second time. This time Evangelion is with his girlfriend and we plan to go the three together. The city we are seems like Lisbon and we pass by a public garden where a group of older but not so old people (in their 50’s) are doing morning gymnastics. I spot 3 or 4 people I know and it’s as if they are actually an older version of us. I get entangled in a weird nostalgia feeling, nostalgia for the future. I wonder if me and my friends will also get old together and do gymnastics or something like that or if we’ll depart from each other and lose contact. Then my dad is also with us. As we go down some stone stairs to keep on our way we discuss what we eat the previous day and I say I am actually not so well from my stomach because of what I ate and I have a glimpse that I am talking about what I eat on waking life (Japanese food), but before I get lucid I wake up.

7:00 GMT+9 – wake up

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING PRECOG


23:00 GMT – Sleep

Preparing travel
I’m organizing something, like a travel and comparing different places/venues. I’m on a tall building and then I’m looking through the window because there’s something going on down there on the street.

Kids dancing
I’m with my mom and she’s helping me out with something. We go out and when arriving at her building’s door, a bunch of kids from school next door are putting some show on (actually rehearsing it) in the square in front of school. They are dancing samba in pairs. Strangely my younger cousin J. Is among them, although by now he is already too old for this, but I still see him as a kid. He sees us and feels embarrassed that we also see him.

Vanity
I’m going out with some group of colleagues from school. I see myself in a mirror and I look really cute, with short hair and a blue scarf on my head. Still I take some time to adjust the scarf several times to be just perfect.

3:20 GMT

Scary grandma’s house
I’m with mom at my paternal grandma’s house. We’re taking clothes from the clothesline outside. The weather is changing rapidly and really dark clouds are gathering in the sky above us. It gets really dark as night. My mom points to the bell tower close by, where we see this really creepy dark figure and we comment that maybe he’s some shadow, reflection but also that this place has always been a bit scary – we’re always seeing dark figures and feeling “presences” here. There’s another girl in the house and then a car also arrives and a guy comes out of it. Don’t remember what happens then.


Life and death situations on the mountains
I’m watching this reporter (like live on TV) in a pick up going down some dangerous road, with a cliff on his left side and I think he is not measuring the danger as he drives with only on hand at too high speed for the conditions of that road. Then of course he is thrown off the road, live on TV and everybody thinks he fell down the cliff, but then I’m transported into the place of the action and I realise he was incredibly lucky as the truck got stuck below on some rocks and we was able to get out and escape. Then I also realise he is with his wife and two kids on the truck and I am even more shocked at his irresponsibility.
As I help them climb the cliff and we’re on top of it on the road, we are caught by a flood. It’s not yet too violent, but I see a bus being dragged by the water down the road and I also see this black baby girl in the middle of the way. I just have time to grab her and get her out of the way of the bus. She is so cute and I feel that this family I also just helped will adopt her in the nearby future. Then the kid in my arms becomes just a baby head (although perfectly alive) and I think about that being odd (but not enough to become lucid).

Cat’s guts out
I’m at some hotel room with friends, just settling in. We are reading this place’s rules and it says in summer we must use an outside common toilet instead of the room’s own toilet. We wonder why and think maybe in summer with the heat, it gets smelly and that’s why they advise to use the outside one.
Anyway I go to the toilet and my cat is there. He doesn’t seem well. First he pukes and then his head’s skin starts to open from his left eye, leaving his skull and eyeball exposed. I try to keep it closed but it keeps opening more and more. I’m starting to freak out. Then pus is coming out. Then when the ripped skin is already down his back, his internal organs start bloating and coming out. Still the cat is moving, not looking healthy but also not dying. I somehow don’t accept that this is really happening so another healthy version of the cat appears and I see the two together and realise I’m dreaming. I feel relieved. Then I think about what to do with lucidity and stupidly I wake up.

6:30 GMT – Wake up

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING PRECOG


23:20 GMT – Sleep

Fragment
I’m on some meeting and I am extracting energy from both my surroundings and the instructor who is talking.

2:20 GMT

Business fair
I’m on Mercado da Ribeira (a market in Lisbon). There’s some kind of fair going on and I see my friend Alfredo there, talking to other people. I also need to talk to him. I wave at him and he makes some sign that we’ll talk later. I’m behind a desk and showing some samples of some aromatic butter-like substance, in different colours and odours. Two foreign visitors are enjoying the smell of a lavender-butter when by my left side appears my most recent ex-boss. She tells them something in a very rude way. I don’t remember what, but included the word “shit”. They are shocked at her manners. She admits she is a bit stressed but doesn’t think she said anything inappropriate. While she waits for their reaction or answer, she goes away meet this other group of people where my friend is included and the two guys open up with me. I tell them she used to be my boss and that they have no idea... They showed solidarity with me but I tell them they should still close the deal with her, despite everything.

Crazy kid and vacation at resort
I’m on some tall building. As I entered and climbed the stairs I noticed it is practically empty, with just a few neighbours on the lower floors. I go to some top floor, looking for something or someone and enter an apartment, which I sense like mine or a place where I’m temporarily staying. It is totally empty, but my cat is there. Some windows are open and I rush to close it (because of the cat). Then some friends arrive and with them is an evil kid. He keeps playing with a knife and saying he is going downstairs and kill the neighbours. I tell him to behave and he also threatens me with the knife. Now I’m pissed and I confess I fear for cat, who is vulnerable around a deranged kid like this. I use all my best psychology skills to change his attitude but he improves just a little bit.
Then I talk to my friends and we’re exchanging stories about tourists in trouble – like these guys who stayed at this sleezy hotel with a code to enter the room instead of key (which in itself is ok) but then the owner of the hotel would sell the codes to some mafia guys who would kidnapped people in the middle of the night, for human trafficking. Not nice. I remember I will be travelling again soon and hope I don’t happen to stay in such places.
Then we all go outside and I realise we’re on some type of touristic area. One of the friends needs to go to her apart-hotel to get something and I see we’re in some kind of beach resort.

5:15 GMT

Marrying a cousin
I’m on some room similar to my older room at mom’s house and lots of family members are there, including my mom and my cousin R. I don’t recall the entire conversation but my family is convinced we should marry – me and my cousin. They say it’s not a consensual decision, that they are not happy about it, but considering the circumstances it is the only solution. I wonder what the hell justifies that? I’m not pregnant of him or anything. When I was a kid I had a crush on him, but that was it. My cousin is looking at me, anxious for my answer and I find this all very odd.
I walk around the room and find my Tanto (a Japanese dagger) broken on the floor – the grip separated from the blade. I fix it, upset that someone had broken it and I turn to my family and tell them no. I don’t want to marry my cousin, I don’t have any reasons to do so. Why are they even considering such a stupid thing?

My mom pregnant
Later I talk to my mom alone and she tells me she is worried. She recovered 3 of the 4kgs she had lost with her new diet. She says its not because of overeating, she thinks she is pregnant. I’m totally surprised, but the “worst” is yet to come. I ask who would be the father of the child and she tells me it’s my father. Then I’m totally shocked – they are separated for more than 10 years now and there’s no way they can get along ever again. How the hell this happened? She says she does not plan to get back with him, that it was just an accident and that’s why she is freaking out.

Shrink to atom size
I’m on a bathtub and decide to do RC. I realise I’m dreaming and get lucid. I decide to shrink to atom size. I close my eyes, because I decided to try it this way when I was awake. It is kind of working, I feel myself shrinking. When I open my eyes I’m about the size of a human finger. I see two huge people approaching and we're on this enormous room (bathroom) with an endless table by my right side, that looks like a tall platform on top of really high columns. I close my eyes again and continue shrinking but this time I almost wake up and have to make an effort to stay “on”. When I try to open my eyes I feel my “real” eyes opening and have to stop not to wake up. Then, when I feel I’m more stable on the dream, I open my eyes slowly, but all I see is darkness. I no longer have body or shape, I’m just consciousness in a dark void. All I see is very faint clusters of white dots, like distant stars or galaxies. It actually looks like outerspace, but I try not to judge the result. Probably the atomic world looks like outerspace.

My guru’s mandala fortress and reversed gravity
Then I close my eyes again and think of next task (this one set by me). When I open my eyes I am on some house. I decide to summon a portal, like the blue water-like portal I saw some days ago in a dream. But I fail to do so. Not even a ripple in the time-space continuum. So I stick to the mirror approach. I find a wardrobe with a mirror on the door and I think I want to go meet my guru. Then I cross the mirror and find myself on this green area facing a huge wall, like a fortress, in front of me. I see some guy at the top of the wall and decide to fly to there. For some reason it is not easy and something is keeping me from flying to the top. I am blocked like 1 meter away from the top but this guy gives me a hand and pulls me inside.
Once inside I see this plateau, with lush gardens and some pretty houses. There’s a group of people around some table I presume are his students and I ask them where can I find our guru. A hippie like blond bearded guy tells me he will be at the casern at 7 o’clock. I wonder where is that and what 7 o’clock is he referring: mine or this place’s? I think tht maybe my guru is not asleep at this moment and therefore I cannot meet him, but I’m not sure if it works that way – Buddhist teachers are said to be always available to the students, always!
[On awaking I looked for the meaning of casern and found this: In fortification, caserns are little rooms, lodgments, or apartments, erected between the ramparts and the houses of fortified towns, or even on the ramparts themselves; to serve as lodgings for the soldiers of the garrison. This confirms I was indeed in a fortress.]
Then these guys just leave to go somewhere and leave me alone. I decide I can’t wait until 7:00, if it’s mine 7:00 because by then I will be waking up. I look around and find a second wall in the centre of this fortified town – a fortress within a fortress - and decide to go there. This time I manage to fly directly to the top of it.
I find a second group of people – more of his students – also around a table on some lovely terrace. They are eating and I decide to join them. Once again I ask for our guru, but this time, from my right side a head leans forward and I see my teacher’s face looking at me, surprised. Hi say hi and ask if it’s ok that I looked for him. He says “Sure, why not!” But then it’s hard to chat with him, with all these people around and someone between us. Anyway I had prepared something to say but I feel maybe I should wait for him to talk to me. Then he starts joking around – his face transforms. First I think – could he be just a DC I’m projecting, but his signature was so real. Then when the transformation ends, he has the face of Mao-Tse Tung. I laugh, because that’s something he would definitely do to jerk around with us. I ask why he changed his look to Mao and then he changes again and he’s now an old lady with white hair, glasses and granny’s clothes. He is just being himself.
Then everybody gets up and my guru flies away. He actually went down to the lower level fortress. From up there, where we are, it looks like a giant green lush valley. Others start following him, although a bit clumsily. I fly to join them and my guru is telling his students how they need to improve their flying skills. Some of them are really at basic level. Managed to jump down here, but lit off, no way. So I show off by flying graciously around, as a dolphin swimming in the ocean. I flip, I swirl, I go up and down, pass by them high speed. Oh, ego.... then I realise above us is not the sky but very high ceiling, kilometres high ceiling. I go there and put my feet on it, trying to walk on it like a fly.
Then I remember the reversed gravity trick, which I never tried and decide to put it t test. I think about the guys down there who might get hurt, but at least my guru will for sure be just fine. Still I make a wish that nobody gets hurt and I say “reversed gravity” and all of the people and objects that were down below start to fall to the ceiling and I laugh, as it is quite amusing. Then I reverse it again.
I go back to the ground and everybody is dispersing, to practice on their own, I guess. I find my guru sitting under a tree and go meet him. He asks me why I am so persistent in following him? What do I want from him? Do I want to marry him? I laugh and say no. I tell him with this exact words “No, I don’t want to marry you, I’m simply hungry and thirsty (of knowledge)” and I feel it in my heart with 100% conviction. He smiles, like I just gave the right answer and he tells me not be so impatient. He tells me things will happen on due time and that I had to understand that I am already having privileged access to him and that I should think about that. Then he gets up and goes away and I wake up.

6:55 GMT – Wake up

(I guess at 7 a.m. he needed to be at the casern )

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING PRECOG

24:00 GMT – sleep

Dad talk
My grandfather passes by and I smile at him as I don’t find anything to say to him. I feel sad about it.
Then I’m with my dad discussing practical stuff. He says if he goes to work on Friday he stays. Then he can go earlier on Monday with me to the doctor. Then I ask what does he mean, as there’s a weekend between (don’t want him to stay for the weekend...) and he says it is just better for him, he uses time better by staying with me instead of just meeting me on monday.
Then we hear some mambo music and we try to dance it., although it is not really working out well. My dad asks “Shouldn’t you know this stuff?” and I reply sarcastically “Off course, because if one day the world ends while I’m here, at least I know how to mambo, which is crucial:” But I know he is refering to my dance classes, years ago.


4:30 GMT

Elevator task
Still with my dad, at what used to be our home. All totally normal, but then the building starts falling forward (a recurrent dream I had for many years). He freaks out but I think it must be a dream. Then all happens in slow motion and I tell him not to worry, because it is just a dream, but he doesn’t believe me. As the building falls, I feel cool, I do RC and conclude beyond doubts it is a dream.
When the building is on the ground, I get out through some window and find myself landing over a wooden table in the middle of some wood. Over there there are some other girls, one is Vera and the others are some british friends of her. My father is still hanging around and I try that he understands it’s just a dream. I feel euphoric and start singing and dancing on the table. He thinks I’m crazy and disappears. The girls join me and we put up quite a show. But then I see our reflexes on some glass and we are all enormously fat. But I don’t allow this trick of the mind to distract me. I’m lucid and I must make good use of it. I think about the tasks. What is there for me to do?
Oh, the elevator! I summon an elevator and turn to find it there, in the middle of the grass. It is green, the brand is Otis (just like the elevator of my old home), it has one button to open the sliding doors and inside lots of buttons for about 6 floors. But I had previously decided (awake) I would not push any specific floor as I wanted to be surprised. And I was, the elevator started moving without me touching anything. Strangely enough, it doesn’t go up or down, it just goes sideways, like a car. It drives me through the woods and gets into a road. Traffic around me, we pass under the Lisbon aqueduct. I feel a bit disappointed with the outcome, but the task implies not to control where it goes, but just to see where it takes me, so I comply. I almost lose lucidity here, almost wake up, but continue. The elevator stops at some car park and by my side is a 50’s looking car with some black guy inside, leaning through his window. He flirts with me and asks me out. I say no thanks. Then I realise I’m two girls – the other me is also a 50’s looking girl. We smile at each other and we tell him we have other type of interests in life. We’re both thinking of LDs. He doesn’t understand, thinks we’re crazy, maybe gay, maybe belonging to some cult. Everybody around us is dressing like the 50s and then the dream starts fading away.

8:30 GMT – Wake up


PRECOG explanation:
- just today my father called me and was with this strange conversation about his plans to start working (he is retired, he was mentioning some personal projects he's working on) on fridays or mondays or whatever (I was distracted and didn't really grasp it) and that this way he can be with me on weekends and help me out with some project I'm working on. I freaked out thinking I have to have him over every weekend! I love him, but no.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING

I had a sleepless night (work reasons) on the 15th Sep (about 36 hours without sleeping), so I went to bed early in the evening of the 16th to compensate.
I have something important to tell about what I’ve experienced on these days when I was sick, traveling and not sleeping much. During these days, although dream recall was kind of shitty, waking life was incredible, because many of the dreams I had dreamt a few days before manifested during this time and led me to strange places. I will write about it later.


19:50 GMT – Sleep

Nothing...

3:00 GMT

Dream within a dream
I was looking at a bus – probably to get inside it, when in front of my eyes this image started to form - a guru I know that passed away years ago was sitting in front of me. He had his face painted and had a hat and ornaments. The vision slowly became more clear and detailed until I became part of it – I had passed into another dream (and when it ended I went back to the same place of the previous dream).
This guru was surrounded by lamas and I sat in front of him. I didn’t know what he was doing, some kind of ritual I could not follow. But in the end he gets up – he is gigantic, I mean he was 2 mts tall when he was alive and I am now sitting at his feet. He approached me, leaned forward and with a big warm smile he told me something like this wasn’t really a dream and then he told me something important about inspiration that unfortunately I can’t remember well. It was a very clear and profound message that did inspire me for something, but I can’t recall. Then the vision started to fade and I was back in the initial dream, confused if I was actually awake having a vision or dreaming within a dream.

Holographic advertising
I was in the future, walking the street and being bombarded by 3D holographic advertisement – if you think advertising now is intrusive... wait to see that one! Not only this advertisement was 3D, if you decided to interact with it, it would actually become semi-solid and you could touch the holographic objects, sense their texture, shape and weight. It was also possible to manipulate these holograms on this particular advertising, so just for fun I transformed this object that was being announced into a pair of boobs and put them in the hands of my boyfriend who was by my side. I laughed, then I picked it up again and designed a heart-shaped box, with a beautiful reticulated lid. I gave it to him again and as he grabbed it, inside it appeared a symbolic representation of whatever he keeps in the centre of his own heart. For me this was like a revelation and I thought that this would be a great instrument to find out what’s inside people’s hearts – made a mental note to myself on this “extraction” technique. Of course, by now I was lucid.

6:00 GMT

Nothing

7:00 GMT

Kame hames batlle
I was inside a garage in some villa at dusk when I realise I am dreaming. Made some stunts, like jumping from wall to wall, to celebrate the return of lucid! Then decided to get out and fly somewhere. As I hover houses and trees deciding what to do, I see on the horizon this Dragonball character – I think it’s Cell [did a search on the web] and he is preparing to kame hame me. This settled my priorities immediately: I tried to create a fireball in my hands (which I have failed to do so far). I see only a tiny spark arising and just as if it was a fire, I blow it to make it bigger. That’s the only way I manage to do it and I throw the fireball at him. He throws one at me, which I can easily get away from. But he immediately throws another and another and I am still struggling to fire another one, so I decide I am not ready for this fight and run away. Actually I wake up briefly.


Entering Nighthawk’s dream
I force myself into dream again and immediately enter a new dream. On this dream I am just awaking at my grandma’s house. I was apparently sharing the bed with my cousin C. who is still asleep. I go out for a few seconds and when I come back in the room, the bed is now smaller and already tide up (no cousin sleeping on it) and I realise it’s a dream. The lucidity is faint so I rub my hands and look at all details, trying to vivify it. I lose and gain lucidity a few times until it becomes strong. Then I decide I’ll use it to meet Nighthawk. I close the bedroom door and wish to enter his dream by crossing the door.
When I open the door I see a different house on the other side. I enter it. The look is totally different – while my dream was whitish and cold, this one is yellowish and warm. I step on a corridor and right in front there’s an open door to another division. I see his mother and lots of family members gathered around, listening to her. I believe it’s some kind of family reunion. Then I go to my right and I find another room, a quiet room where I see Nighthawk sitting on a couch with his grandmother. I have this impression that I’ve seen this dream before...
He is sitting with her and it is clear that she is a safe harbour, a big source of love and care. I feel bad to interrupt his nice dream, but I need to say I’m there, although very gently not to disturb too much. I pass quietly through the back of the couch and as I do it, his grandma says “Is it you xxxx (my name)?” I am caught by surprise, how does she know my name? But then who looks back it is actually him. I never get to see her face and I realise she is just his DC and is expressing his own words. He looked at me, with his eyes full of emotion but also a bit confused. Like, this is a recurrent dream and I’m not usually part of it, so what the hell was I doing there?
I get to his side, I bend over against the couch side arm and gently ask him if he is lucid. He seems confused, looks sleepy or dizzy. I hold his hand, he is warm and I am freezing cold. I cuddle his arm gently. And then he says a bit spaced out “Oh, we kissed, didn’t we?” He was slowly connecting the dots, but the dream was faint and losing sense rapidly. He was still looking very sleepy and he lay down on the sofa (the granny was now gone) and the dream started to disappear. I didn’t lose lucidity but I was kicked out to another dream and I found myself in the middle of a very busy street, somewhere in some Mediterranean country, almost being hit by the traffic. I decided to try to go meet him again on some other dream of his, and wished it as I tried to teleport me there, with no success. Anyway I knew it was time to wake up and got to work, so I called it a day (or a night ).

7:00 GMT – wake up

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING


22:50 GMT – Sleep

Game like dream. Can’t recall content.

0:00 GMT

Bus ride to village in distress
Just as two nights before (the hovercraft ride dream), I am on a bus with more people crossing dangerous mountain roads with dangerous manoeuvres from the driver and we almost fall down a cliff. We arrive at this remote village in a valley, surrounded by woods. There was some kind of catastrophe there and the basic services are disrupted. More madness is expected soon, riots and violence. A muscled guy comes and starts orienting us. For some reason he seems to befriend me more than the rest of the group. We come to help and we evaluate the situation sitting on a picnic table outside: we try to evaluate how much food, water and other essential goods there are and how long they’ll last and we realise it won’t last more than 4 or 5 days. Because everything is torn apart, I see this village name plate half covered by debris and the only letters remaining visible say “...have ...fun...” I think this is highly ironic.


Fragment
I’m inside a house, with a big window facing the street. It has something like an advertisement stick on the window and I’m trying to read it on reverse, when some guy outside knocks on the window. He wants to speak to me and seems a bit angry. I exit the place.

Mourning a dying man
I’m now entering a room at my neighbour C. house. Her dad is extremely sick (in some kind of coma) and people are all gathered around him, mourning him, as if he was already dead. Strangely, some of my cousins and even my late grand-grandmother are also there, even if they don’t belong to this family or are alive at all. I feel this is very uncomfortable and wonder if they have no hopes that he gets better? On my way out I meet my dad and he says I have to be more loving towards him because one day he’ll also be lying dead like this guy. Sure, but I already know that, no point in stressing that out!


2:30 GMT

More details of a previous dream
Regarding the mosque lucid dream I had had a few nights before, someone comes in this dream to tell me it is actually surrounded by English-style gardens but doesn’t know anything about sacred stones, only that there was some stone-sculpture exhibition there and that a few days some people gathered there to celebrate some ceremony.

I’m no dancer
I’m on some place where it’s playing music and I feel like dancing. I actually think I’m doing ok, when more people join me. I can tell they are professional dancers and compared to them I’m just not good enough, but I’m having fun, so I don’t care. Then I realise I’m in the middle of some dance class final exam. The teacher comes to me and asks me “Do you think you danced well? and I say that on a professional level, of course not. Then she asks some other dancer “Do you think she danced well?” and he says no. Then she says she rests her case and turns her back on me, like outcasting me. I feel a bit upset. I mean, I know I am just an amateur, but my dancing is not that offensive to anybody’s eyes, no need to be so tough on me. Some fellow dancers show solidarity with me but in the end I say it’s ok, in fact she is right. Then I invite them to come along with me to a Vivaldi concert that will happen on some nearby auditorium.


3:40 GMT

A lucid hot date
I’m with Nighthawk watching tv on the couch on a living room. At first we're apart from each other, but slowly we snuggle with each other, our noses are barely touching each other, we look in each other’s eyes and we kiss. He whispered “My god, it’s so good to kiss you.” and I smiled, my heart thumping. He says ”Marry me.” I don’t know what to say and I say it’s complicated. He knows, he gets up, determined about something. I don't stop him, but seconds later I decide to go after him. On the corridor I remember to do a reality check . I put my hand on the wall and it sinks. I get lucid and for the first time on a lucid dream I actually feel frustrated that it is just a dream but I still decide I want to see how this will go on.
I find him on the next room with Riverstone, who is completely focused on something like a book and holding a cup of tea in his hand. I put my hand on the wall, I make a hole on it and I ask them “Do you know what this means?”. Riverstone looks totally disconnected and doesn’t react. Nighthawk has a misterious smile on his face and I don’t understand what goes on on his mind. I grab a piece of dissolved wall on my hand and pour it into Riverstone cup of tea telling him “This is just a fucking dream!”. He says I’m telling nonsense. I turn to Nighthawk and I say “He is always like this, he never believes me!”. Nighthawk, on the other hand, seems to be understanding exactly what I am talking about. Then he surprises me by replying “Well, I, on the other hand, know for sure this is damn real! I am really here with you!!! And I know we're dreaming!” Really? WOW! I was amazed.
I ask him “How...?” and he continues saying that he doesn’t recall those many dreams, but he does recall a few once in a while and that this might be one of those he will remember. I tell him he must absolutely remember this one!
At this point I realise that Riverstone is no longer with us. I turn to Nighthawk, absolutely thrilled and exhilarated with this totally lucid dream encounter. We smile and we kiss each other again, more passionately. We fall on the bed. I feel delighted with everything. Then his image starts to flicker and we realise he is losing lucidity and waking up. He says “Damn, not yet! I want to stay with you!” and I try to keep him there with me, grabbing him firmly. But he becomes just a blur, a shadow, until he totally disappears, like sand through my fingers. I find myself in this empty room, happy and sad at the same time. I sit on the floor and I stay there for a long time, hoping that he might re-enter the dream. But when I no longer feel the residues of his presence I decide there’s no point in staying longer, so I also wake up.

5:00 GMT

Excursion on the USA
I’m with Riverstone on some excursion in the US. We’re on a bus. A pregnant lady is just sitting in front of us. We’re passing by N.Y. and Riverstone is screaming joyfully every times he sees a landmark he recognizes. Later we’re outside any city, on some road leading to some other totally different place. We find ourselves in a swamp area. We see alligators on water and for some strange reason there’s a black guy swimming bravely among them. I worry for the guy but also comment that is so funny to be seeing alligators as I just had some conversation with someone about alligators during the day.


6:35 GMT

Love letter
I am again on a bus and some stupid guy/kid reads out loud a love letter I wrote to someone else. Although he doesn’t mention my name, he knows it’s mine and I believe everybody else will also know it’s mine. I wonder how he got it and feel terribly irritated. But instead of reacting, I just ignored him. I guessed this way I wouldn’t actually reveal myself and people would be in doubt. Only when the bus stops and we start coming out of it, I step on the guys passage and confront him with his action. I put my finger on his nose and make a threatening look and tell him something that scares him. He looks asian and familiar, but I have no clue who he actually is. He doesn’t like being threatened and tells me “Ok, ok. But why don’t you just tell the guy your feelings?” And I respond “But I did! What do you think that letter served for! I just wonder how you ended up with it in your hands.” He doesn’t confess.


Camp of giant cats
When we get out, we’re in some kind of camp and everybody starts smoking or is coughing. I comment it must be the lung cancer camp and the joke is not well received. Someone scolds me. We walk a bit further and I start to see lots of big houses, like an entire village and the most surprising of it is that I see giant cats looking behind them or inside them. Cool! I don’t kno if the cats are dangerous, but I start taking pictures of these amazing site.
[inspired by the cat sanctuary of this guy in the US, that collects abandoned and wild cats and takes care of them in this lovely sanctuary with tiny houses for the cats, as a real village.It even as a church and a wall-mart.]

8:30 GMT – Wake up

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID


22:45 GMT - Sleep

Subway
I am going to the subway. Apparently I don’t want to pay and try to enter anyway, but I have no choice but to go to the ticket machine and buy one. Then I slide it through the validation machine and it is rejected several times. I am getting pissed off and when it finally opens up I run to the train. Then I realise I’m on the wrong side and jump to the tracks to get the train that is about to close the doors and leave on the other platform. I manage not to get killed and I get into the train.

A fairy tale
I am this poor shepherdess girl but beautiful like no other. All men, from all walks of life, want me and desire me. The latest one trying to conquer me is this rich sheik offering me a palace and riches. He says I’ll be the first and most important lady of his harem. Yeah, yeah, but I decline. They keep coming but I am in love with this other poor working guy. He is so brave and all but because I’ve been courted by so many princes and rich guys he just decided I’m too good for him and he chickens out. So one day I decide to launch a challenge – the one who takes all my sheep to sell somewhere far away in an exotic land and having to cross all sort of dangerous places and experiences, will be the one I’ll marry. I’m totally convinced he will manage and all the other rich guys in their palaces have no chance. But then I also wonder: did I do the right thing? I mean, the other guys are just city dwellers but they have the resources and this guy just has his passion and his guts... Oh well, let’s hope for the best.

0:30 GMT

Breakfast outside
The beginning is fuzzy. I was entering this lobby of a building that looked either a clinic or an office building. There’s a desk in front and some columns. I contour them and realise it is a circular corridor around this desk, along which there are doors leading somewhere. There’s also this sliding window-door leading to an interior terrace/garden. I have no clue what I am doing here. [gap]
Then the next scene seems to be in the outside terrace/garden. There are long tables with food on it. People are having breakfast there and I decide to join and eat something to. I find no place to seat but just grab some food. Strangely there are fried fish and other fried salty foods. I’m not used to that, I always eat fruits or muesli. I find a plate of “pataniscas” (a Portuguese dish that actually originated the Japanese vegetables “tempura”) and I grab one. I circulate around the tables looking for some more treats.

Laser show on a corn field and compassion for a heart broke
I’m now on the outside of this big building, looks like a huge barn or maybe it is the inn from previous dream. Now the long tables and long benches are in front of it and I’m sitting in one, turned to a corn field just in front. There’s a lot of chatting and laughter and I realise just close to me is my prep school sweetheart M. I am aware he just looks like when he was a kid and I know I am no longer a kid. Although I don’t become fully lucid, I know this is not real. He is just playing an old scene that happened with us. Because I’m not paying attention to him, he is also ignoring me but I see that he wants desperately to talk to me. So there is something that triggers general amusement and makes him look to my side and he uses the opportunity to smile at me and start conversation. I feel so much compassion for him. I feel “Gosh, poor guy, the suffering he went through those days just to get my attention.” I really loved him, I really did. But for some really complex reasons I said no when he later asked me to be his girl. This breaks my heart even more when I look at him there, so innocent. I feel no other emotions but compassion for him and some sadness that I can’t go back and tell him it was all so unnecessary, that he was loved, that he was free and that he didn’t need me.
At this point I shut him off from the dream and look to the corn field thinking how nice would be to see some UFOs in the sky, or making a crop circle or whatever. So then I see this lights moving around in the field and get excited. But then the lights forms the shape of doves and I realise it’s just some laser show projected on the corn wall. It’s cool but not what I had in mind.

Hill on fire, random stuff and the fairy’s house
Now it is daylight and warm. I’m also in the countryside, but I recognize it as some hills not far from my childhood home. I see red flames behind the hill in front of me. A fire! I want to see it closer and help whatever way I can to end it. I am with my mom and other people, but the others don’t care and keep moving on. My mom is the only one joining me.
I find firemen but the main fire is still far. Just a few patches of burning grass here and there and I grab some wet towel and starting extinguishing these little fires. As I go uphill I encounter a playground full of children and I wonder how it wasn’t yet evacuated. I keep going up and now I find a big white tent and inside is my aunt Lisa fighting a small fire to. I help her and keep moving up. Then I find a precinct where some festival is taking place and once again I wonder why aren’t people being evacuated. There are some reporters looking for someone to interview and I hardly manage to escape them. “MY god, there’s a huge fire raging just behind this! Does nobody know?” On some other tent there are a few fat guys eating and watching a movie about pig farms. They are discussing how useful it is to cut the pig’s nose. I see the images of that and I feel disgusted - like, what else are these guys going to come up with to inflict pain on the animals? I interrupt their lunch and tell them what I think. They are completely caught by surprise and think that I must be crazy.
I get out from the back of the tent and I find myself in a house. Tiny, with dirty corridor and I see this guy looking at me with very unfriendly. I have to find and exit fast. I find this interior yard and try to get out of there – I’ll have to climb the wall. So I start climbing and it’s not really a plain wall, it’s more like a very steep hill, with rocks, concrete blocks, all sort of pipes and wires... Then a couple joins me in the escape – it’s the guy’s wife and her “friend”.
When I arrive on the top, I am on top of a cliff looking over large planes. To my left though, there is an even higher ground. There are a few stairs that I climb and then I’m on this patio in front of a very cute house with vases of flowers. It’s lovely. I recognise it as the fairy’s house! I remember being there before and I feel very emotional.

2:20 GMT

Stalking Björk
I’m with my mom eating breakfast in an Inn and watching TV. There’s a story playing about this polish (?) guy who is in Portugal shooting a movie with Björk. They interview her and she looks so cute: By coincidence they are interviewing them at his home, which apparently is close to where I am with my mom. I am a huge fan so when we’re driving around during the day my mom keeps an eye of every house trying to spot the one of this guy. I think that’s stupid, but then she spots it behind some bushes. She turns right to that street. I see kids playing in the front yard a lady coming out of the garage and they do look polish or something like it. I really feel uncomfortable – what are we doing exactly?
So we go back to the Inn. After a few days we are cycling around with a friend in a funny bike for 3 people. I spot a group of strange people and I think I saw Björk disguised in the middle of them. Whoever that was, they had fun when they saw us biking. I thought I was going to sop with the stalking.
I pass a crossroad and stop on the side of the road for a while. Coincidently again, a car stops and a bunch of girls, two of them my old friends from school, Lic and Patty. They want directions to somewhere and I tell them we’re on vacation in the area but we also don’t know much about the surrounding places. We have a quick chat and I come back to the Inn.

4:50 GMT

Dutch people and stray animals
Maybe still on the same village as before, I’m walking around with mom and some friend of hers. We pass by a sports club, but it is dutch. There are these board on the wall with names and dates and my mom asks me what it is and I explain it looks like football matches. I get bored and ask to leave. So we keep walking and find an entrance to a residential with restaurant, followed by an entrance to a farm. All seems to be of the same dutch people.
Then I see my father. What is he doing here? Apparently some work related to the dogs and cats in the area. He tells me of how many pets are abandoned by people in this area but also that there’s a shift in people’s mind because there’s also an increase in people who report the cases of their neighbours who do it.
Later we’re on the road, I guess to go home.

Crystal out of my nose
Then a dream fragment. I was cleaning my nose and a huge crystal comes out of it – nice. Then I make some health recommendations to someone.

6:00 GMT

Family reunion
I am at home and my uncle F. and his wife are there too. I am ironing clothes and I hear them talking about absolutely ignorant things and I say to them something like the market and capitalism being a total illusion and that for them to be happy they had to completely let go of that illusion and just be free. I say it is something basic and obvious and not a matter for discussion, but they don’t buy it. Oh well. I later go to the toilet to find out that one of the walls is now half destroyed. I am told someone fell agains the wall and I think “wow, should be a really heavy person”. I touch it and it ends falling apart completely. So, no toilet.

Space research institute
Then I’m visiting this centre, it looks like a research institute or a university. I’m on this big room with guys sitting at desks and prototypes everywhere. There’s a really interesting movie playing on a computer screen and I sit down watching it. It is a mix of Blade Runner and Star Wars, but supposedly refers to real life. They are talking about this Death Star that is in orbit on our planet – really? Apparently it is pointed to or being commanded by the White House - this part was not clear.
Then I realise I’m sitting at this guy’s desk and he comes in and looks at me like “What are you doing here?” But I don’t say a word, I just sit in another chair and try not to get in his way. Then a group of students come and grab chairs and also come to watch this film. They all look at me like I don’t belong there and I know I don’t, but I’m having fun, so just let me be! Then a door opens behind us – there’s a toilet there – and a totally naked guy comes out of it. People find it bizarre, but not enough to stop him or cover him. He is complaining that he can’t shit, that he has a serious case of constipation and I find all this hilarious. I follow him and then I understand what’s going on. He was trying to save his marriage but he caught his wife cheating on him with this colleague from the institute and just freaked out. Now he is a bit nuts. Eventually he even crosses with his wife on the hallway and she is chatting with her lover when she sees her naked husband. I feel pity for this guy. Probably a brilliant mind that flipped.

7:45 GMT – Wake up