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    Lucid Dreams

    1. Goddess on Loomis Street (lucid but changing)

      by , 10-13-2014 at 04:13 PM
      Morning of October 13, 2014. Monday.

      There were (among other dreams on this date) three dreams that slightly ran into each other. The last one was extraordinarily lucid, of the type of apex lucidity I do not usually post online, though there is a humorous side here. I enter the state somewhat slowly, being aware of the various environmental features which come into focus and which I know are solely in-dream (which is typical of this state since earliest memory). Finally, when I am in the full-body state, having arrived, so to speak, I notice it is a version of my sister Marilyn’s house, being similar to her living room. This was probably residue from the previous longer dream (which was non-lucid). Within a short time, with no need to mentally will a scenario, a goddess-like girl appears, seemingly a younger version of my wife but dressed somewhat atypically. (The Loomis Street house is where I was staying when she first wrote to me in 1991.) I am fascinated with the realism and reach out for a full embrace. She seemed to have walked from around a corner, although technically there was no corner and it was more like walking from behind an invisible prism of human height. I am amazed by the clarity and the beauty of the imagery. However, I am also aware of environmental noises at times (in the real environment as I am sleeping).

      I decide to leave the dream state to make sure my real body is in a comfortable position. However, when I “wake”, I do not notice right off that I have had a false awakening into another dream (though I am not lucid now) and in much the same environment. Eventually, I do come to realize that I went into a less vivid dream rather than really waking up, which seriously annoys me, so then I do wake up.

      Previously, my earlier dream was a typical “search” type where I just look for old documents and such. I had wanted my mother’s old letters to my sister to do more research on my life that I had not documented myself, as she wrote quite often to Marilyn from mid-1967 to mid-1978. However, after my sister died in real life it was the typical fiasco where one person (not even a relative, but a supposed “friend” of hers) decides to throw everything out with no consideration for anyone else in the family or even attempting to communicate with anyone. In my dream, though, I actually see a younger version of my sister walking to one of her dressers and she seems slightly confused by how everything has been put into bundles, with almost everything in her house in stacks (including clothes, books, personal documents, and so on). I do manage to find some letters, which I believe are the ones I want. There is also a scene where a box has been put aside with certain things wrapped for my oldest daughter. There are many manila envelopes in the front room that seem sealed, some apparently related to comic books I had made for her (far more than in reality).

      In another dream, I am seeing most of humanity as a different “species” than myself, which is no surprise. People, that is human beings, start out as some sort of chimpanzee-like being and as they grow older, they turn into a creature that resembles a baby elephant. This is possibly a play on how “apocalyptic” elephants came from representing my childhood fear (pachydermophobia developed out of real-life events) to representing people falsely promoting soon-upcoming worst-case scenarios (doomsday or judgement “trumpeting”).
    2. "Elaborate"?

      by , 10-11-2014 at 04:11 PM
      Morning of October 11, 2014. Saturday.

      This is a soothing dream at first. I am in an unknown location, seemingly inside the large room of a mansion. Sparkling dust motes “swim” in the air.

      There is a rather odd setup. A very large and complex dollhouse, I believe of three storeys, is in one corner of the room, almost as if it is a part of the design of the house (and big enough for a person to go into). It has a sort of combined Grecian and Victorian appearance. Sunlight is coming in through large windows. On the roof of the dollhouse, in front, is a large complex clock. There are white monotone angel statues built into the clock. Their subtle wing movements somehow relate to the clock.

      An unknown darker-haired younger girl appears. She says “elaborate”. In fact, that is all she does say, several times. No attempt at any form of communication results in anything but “elaborate”. She pronounces it as an adjective (not the verbal pronunciation). I think perhaps she is saying it to describe the environment. I am fairly sure she may live here somewhere. No actual communication ensues. It is rather amusing, probably more amusing than frustrating.

      “What is your name?”

      No response.

      Long pause.

      “Elaborate." (Over time, she says "elaborate” at least six times.)

      The feathers on the wings of the angels on the clock seem to flutter at times, but that may be an optical illusion caused by subtle motion of the rays of sun. I think the wings themselves move up and down (over time) with the minute hand.

      Updated 10-22-2015 at 07:55 PM by 1390

      Tags: clock, dollhouse
    3. Failed Flight (Wing Knocking On Eaves)

      by , 10-01-2014 at 04:01 PM
      Morning of October 1, 2014. Wednesday.

      Dream #: 17,453-05. Reading time: 2 min 38 sec.

      I am in a big room on at least the fourth floor of a school building. There are at least four rows of small singular school desks, but there is otherwise no indication of a more defined classroom setting. The door to the room is in the front and to my left, and I am probably near the back of the classroom. My wife Zsuzsanna is there as well as a few unknown people, and we are adults with our current waking life appearance. It may be in Australia though looks like my fifth-grade homeroom classroom (though that was on the second floor and outside was to my left). The outer appearance of the building resembles a hospital in La Crosse. The room I am in is possibly the second room back from where there is a corner (that is oriented inward) that goes off to my right so that I can look out the window and see the other perpendicular outer wall and windows, which is closer to the street. The entrance is seemingly on my side of the inward corner of the L-shaped (or possibly T-shaped) building, and the area outside to my right is a parking lot.

      After a short time, a scheduled flight occurs. It involves advertising Wonder Bread. I hear a small airplane engine and look to my right. The airplane, which is like a crop-duster type, flies too close to the building and its left wing is somehow hitting the eaves, making a tinny knocking sound while it seems to be “stuck,” though still slowly moving forward. The pilot flew too close in his daily routine around the building’s perimeter. Eventually, a sense of awe occurs with the realization that the pilot will not be able to make the ninety-degree turn when reaching the corner. However, instead of crashing into the other outer wall of the building, the airplane pauses in midair (though its flight was impossibly slow, somewhat like a helicopter hovering but moving ahead a short distance at a time) and it falls straight down in near the building’s assumed entrance.

      Some people come in, and I talk about what had happened, describing the event in detail at least three times to different people. I ask if it was a Cessna and a young man tells me no, it was a “Mercola” something. The pilot had lived, and he is reported to have no injuries.

      For new readers or inexperienced dreamers: A school setting is typically autosymbolism triggered by the conscious self identity being incomplete while in the dream state. Attention to my right correlates with the subliminal awareness of sleeping on my left side. This dream has an unusual reference to doorway waking symbolism, relevant to the knocking sound, a door signifying a dream’s possible exit point. Roofs, ceilings, or eaves are indicators for being closer to consciousness. There is the result of vestibular system ambiguity, with associations with falling, flying, or rising. An airplane is often an imaginary extension of the physical body during the natural vestibular system ambiguity of REM sleep. In childhood, I called this kind of dream “failed flight waking symbolism.“ Use of the word “failed” does not imply a negative connotation as it is solely a biological dynamic of waking from REM sleep. The victim in this dream is the vestibular system simulacrum. The intersection layout (in this case as a building with a perpendicular outer wall) is autosymbolism that relays the choices (via RAS mediation) of remaining in the dream state, returning to dreamless sleep, or waking. The airplane falls rather than crashes due to my dream self’s subliminal awareness of the nature of vestibular system ambiguity. The Wonder Bread advertising stems from linking the word "bread” with “loaf” and the “wonder” of the dream state. “Loaf” is a play on being in bed. (“Mercola” may be a warning against cola, perhaps being a composite of “mercury” and “cola.”)

      Updated 01-27-2019 at 10:37 AM by 1390

    4. Mirror Me

      by , 09-28-2014 at 09:14 AM
      Morning of September 28, 2014. Sunday.

      This was an extended version of a long-recurring dream scene of looking in a mirror and deliberately trying to change my appearance in various ways even though I am only semi-lucid.

      This is a rather unusual state of semi-lucidity which often involves an intense “forced frustration” and somewhat of a need to instigate distortion or alter imagery without being more aware of the virtually infinite possibilities of the dream state when fully lucid. (By experience, I have learned that there are at least three very distinct types of in-dream lucidity, probably more when breaking down the more diverse nuances.)

      I look in a dresser mirror in a somewhat dark room (just with enough light to see most details of my face but in shadow) and attempt to force different perspectives and to distort how I appear in the dream (which is otherwise amazingly realistic and mostly consistent throughout). Based on my reflection in the mirror, I appear to move close to and fairly far away from the mirror even though my physical body remains in the same place in-dream (about the center of the room). This changing “zoom in and zoom out” perspective (which has also occurred in different dream types) and different range of views does not at all seem unlikely in-dream (it is probably number four on my list of recurring dream aspects that seem familiar and likely in reality, but cannot be). I also try to force a mock fear, due to the sort of tingly energy it creates (have done this in semi-lucid dreams since early childhood), but am unable to strengthen it, and no other beings are there except for me even though I change my appearance somewhat as a sort of pretense, but nothing dramatic ensues. Sometimes I had done it by lowering my eyebrows and squinting yet focusing on the immediate foreground (near my nose) so that my view is pair-of-eyes-shaped, with the idea the eyes-shape is from another being just in front of me (this being something I learned in a dream in 1972, age eleven, when I deliberately tried to create more energized nightmarish states but was usually unable to - however, this also resulted in the zooming in and out perspective which I did not realize was otherwise not possible in actuality, therefore not recognizing the dream state).

      Prior to this, there was also the typical cleaning dream, where I “polished”, refurbished, and “mentally repainted” aspects of the room. In this one, I also find various items under a rug including dust and old food scraps. I clean the room as thoroughly as possible.
      Tags: mirror
    5. Return to the Pink Planet

      by , 09-26-2014 at 03:26 PM
      Morning of September 26, 2014. Friday.

      I am planning (in my dream state) on doing a “comic book page” of the most vivid version of my “The Pink Planet” dream due to its seemingly paranormal nature (relative to a number of things that are simply too complex to get into in writing). The concept of the “twin Earth” is not unique to this particular “dream universe” event, as it had come both long before and long after November 6, 1971. In one case, it was a “shadow planet” remaining on the opposite side of the sun. Taking a photograph of someone with green eyes (my wife has green eyes) and implementing the photographic negative, will cause the “pink planet” effect as well.

      I have completed the page in real life, after this dream, and decided to put it in my tumblr journal assuming it will be large enough to display the writing. In my dream, are new facets of energy relating to a “remake”. The remake is based on some sort of overwhelming emotional nostalgia combining the present and the past. In “The Bermuda Depths” (which ties in with personal events and other connections), the ending shows the turtle that was small during the time that the male and female characters are together as children, except now it is a giant yet still has the initials on its back. In this dream, I see that my wife, as a child, is blowing soap bubbles into the sky, one lasting longer than would be typical - the surface of the bubble reflecting Australia as it travels skyward. It grows larger and larger and “returns” as the “pink planet”, still with the residual reflection of Australia to “inform” me that she is on “the other side”.

      This layer was not extensively referenced in 1971 or earlier. I have done a lot of research on causal patterns relating to my main “pink planet” dream. Doing this sort of thing is almost like a sort of meticulous “surgery” to try to piece together how my mind is able to combine so many layers into one to manifest this type of dream. Much of this I have documented before many times. One reason is that certain dreams have earlier “prototypes”, become the main experiential dream in terms of residual focus to recur or “reset” (often in “mid-dream”), and are often followed by a lesser “sequel” or with partial parallels (especially when growing up), sometimes broken up into less noticed nuances a year or more later. It would not surprise me at all to learn if some people had the same “key” dreams, thousands of times, throughout all their lives, without remembering a single instance of the more important layers. In fact, I have actually seen plenty of evidence of this online, but will not go into it here.

      Firstly, this was during the time when “Pepto-Bismol pink” showed up in my dreams at least once a month or so - and in such cases, I even curiously reflected on this as the color in-dream, yet it still did not result in any trigger of lucidity. As before, I can argue whether or not my dream would have been the same had I not taken Pepto-Bismol. I also believe there was an influence from volume 16 of the Young People’s Science Encyclopedia which I had at the time. The cover shows pink clouds with a man hovering over a sphere and another one shown in the distance as shown in the image of the cover.

      Comic strips the eve before personally showed the usual odd synchronicity. Nancy “blows her breath” into a balloon to (sarcastically) “save her breath”, which is shown as a sphere, an act similar to blowing soap bubbles as in my dream. The other is Snuffy Smith where the two primary female characters look at a crystal ball covered with snow - this of course influencing the idea of the top being the “North Pole” were it to be a subtle symbol for Earth.

      Finally, as the most obvious cause in 1971 (at least on this date) was that I had seen “When Worlds Collide” (from 1951) 11:30 at night (on “Shock Theatre” on channel 13). I then watched about seven minutes of “I Walked with a Zombie” (from 1943), the second feature, but was too tired to stay awake and had already seen it a couple times by then. My 1971 dream likely started from around four in the morning at the latest, three-thirty at the earliest.

      Were it not for pop culture continuously shuffling me along and giving me “clues”, I may likely have still found my soulmate. The amusing “go to Japan” in-dream aspect as mentioned before, again was accurate, as that is where the airplane landed prior to reaching Australia, something I do not think I could have even subliminally known as a child.

      Updated 12-17-2015 at 11:28 AM by 1390

      side notes , lucid , memorable
    6. Hidden Rooms Below and Black Robot (with meaning)

      by , 09-18-2014 at 03:18 PM
      Morning of September 18, 2014. Thursday.

      A dream situation that has been somewhat recurring for a few months (but with different locations or features in each) involves looking into areas of our house that have openings to hidden rooms underground or under our floor (which of course represents exploration of my unconscious domain or even access to the whole of human consciousness). In this particular dream, one of the doors is like a lighter horizontally-hinged swinging type of perhaps fiberboard. It reminds me somewhat of an incomplete dumbwaiter setup. I push it inward for a short time and discover a large cellar-like room below the floor (but by which the higher area is inside the wall) where two hallways on the far end go in both directions. In the area near the hallways, it appears to have a dirt floor. It looks like something had been stored there but I do not contemplate if it is ours or not. It seems it likely is in conscious afterthought.

      At a later point, I am in our kitchen and I hear some sort of strange voice (which is somewhat authoritative yet also a bit artificial) speak from our second-youngest son’s room. It may be some sort of dangerous “invader” that is not fully human. I tell it to come out and show itself. Out of the room comes some sort of vague energy, briefly seeming like a large transparent black robot. It speaks again (somewhat menacingly) but by that time I realize that it is my own dream self’s instigation in trying to bring it into a higher clarity and it will not materialize due to my own concept of self-preservation (even though it represents the waking transition). This has happened in dreams all my life, where I (as my unconscious mind) often could not create what could become a more ominous or even disturbing dream. As I have noted before, even my dreams relating to a so-called devil ended up being mostly cartoon-like and comedic.

      In another dream immediately offset from this one (as the waking transition “failed” in my first), which has a very cheerful atmosphere and is somewhat lucid but passive, an Asian male and his young son are in a room testing old battery-operated robots of the type I got for Christmas in 1969 though it seems they are or are like completely new toys. The sounds and flashing lights are “perfect” and enjoyable over time. This leads me to ponder on why I had the life-size somewhat menacing (but transparent) black robot in the other dream for a very short time. Still, the flashing lights of the robots represent dawning conscious awareness and eventual waking.

      In hopes to augment understanding of this dream, black is the representation in this case, because it is of an anthropomorphic form, of the conscious mind in liminal space. This is evident by the common light of day projection, in this case, from the opening chest of the robot as with my actual toy in reality. The robot opens the doors of its chest as it shuffles about to emit light as toy laser guns. Anything that emits light as such is the conscious self seeking the unconscious perspective to instigate waking through coalescence, the main purpose of final dream segments when they are completed. I realize that my unconscious self is more in control of my transitory waking self here and thus my dream shifts to an offset waking scenario that is far more cheerful but still has the “light of day” (downsized robots, no longer menacing or hidden in any way). At this point, the Asian man is my conscious self nurturing my diminishing unconscious dream self into the waking state, showing me that the light of day (and conscious awareness) is not so bad or mysterious after all.

      Updated 03-29-2016 at 06:39 PM by 1390

    7. Russell Cayman?

      by , 07-05-2014 at 01:05 PM
      Night of July 5, 2014. Saturday.

      I am apparently listening to a radio broadcast in a state of half-dreaming. The announcer clearly says “Russell Cayman’s dead”. I have no idea who that is (I have not listened to a radio for many years) and for a moment, I think of (a type of animal) caimans (alligatorid crocodylians). This seemed like some sort of telepathic pulse (or perhaps a postcognitive remnant or “artifact”), but who knows? I am not even sure of the spelling.
    8. Spinning Statues

      by , 06-27-2014 at 12:27 PM
      Morning of June 27, 2014. Friday.

      Dream #: 17,357-02. Reading time: 36 sec.

      Several times in my dream, I wave my hands to materialize small statues out of nowhere. Most are about a foot high, but many are shorter.

      The statues are mostly Hindi that I make at random. I am moving my hands about and “spinning” them into existence. There is also a point at which I weave Sanskrit writing in the air. Zsuzsanna is present in a way that links to another dimension. Some of the statues look Thai or have other composite cultural elements. One looks like a carousel atop an octagonal box or base. They mostly all have a pale (semi-matte) golden appearance.

      Someone near the table’s left side, at the front from my perspective, knocks a statue off and tries to fit a broken piece onto a different one in a suggestive adult way as if it were male genitals. I am only slightly annoyed by his humorous act.

      Updated 10-26-2019 at 06:22 AM by 1390

      Tags: hindu, statues
    9. Multilayered Cheerful Apocalypse

      by , 06-16-2014 at 12:16 PM
      Morning of June 16, 2014. Monday.

      This is one of those dreams that seems somewhat lucid in a tentative experimental sense; vivid and with an energy that seems close to “purifying”, and yet not fully lucid where total conscious control is utilized - thus I remain mostly a witness.

      It starts out at a level where I feel energetic and very well, almost with a sense of ongoing “completion” and "perfection” regarding my life’s path. I am not sure of the location. It is probably a more integrated composite of several houses including our present home, sister Marilyn’s older house, and Cubitis, as is sometimes the case, yet such composites always vary from dream to dream including in directional orientation. The overall layout is most similar to Cubitis, yet the essence is more like our last home on Barolin Street. My wife Zsuzsanna and I are involved in some sort of educational work, but my sister Marilyn appears and so does brother Jim. Even though both relatives (from my mother’s side) have passed away, Marilyn makes an unusual comment about Jim being there and points it out in a way that she “knows” something is not quite right. It does not even seem unusual to me that someone who had died is now at the house pointing out how somehow else had died. It seems to be about midday.

      Jim seems very cheerful but soon starts talking about a tidal wave approaching, excitedly pointing in its direction and talking about its force and size. I am able to see the large wave coming from about two blocks away but it does not seem to be a major destructive force. This one is only slightly above rooftop level as it approaches. I am somewhat annoyed by the idea of having some of our belongings damaged by water, but it is not a dominant thought. I get a clear feeling that I will just have to deal with it and am I neutral in the implications after a short time. The wave hits and water rushes through the house in a somewhat exhilarating sense (as if it was almost an enriching event). I notice other people outside yelling about it, but not in terror; more like mild surprise.

      A little later, I go outside to the direction where the wave had approached from and the scene and landscape changes dramatically and it is also now late in the evening. I am in a state of lucidity but witness-only awe relative to the various types of ways the world can end, all occurring at the same time (which seems very amusing to me for some reason, almost like some sort of unlikely gag). I have no fear or worry at all and feel a positive energy; almost enthralled to near physical pleasure. Jim is now very happily swimming in the ocean to my left (apparently much of the world has been flooded). Zsuzsanna and I are standing on a balcony-like area or more like an elevated area of a Medieval castle.

      As in many past dreams of semi-lucidity relative to ocean scenes, I imagine the creation of a plesiosaurus-like sea serpent which materializes in a fairly short time and rises from the water. Above us, but towards the horizon - at about a seventy-degree inclination (common for viewing in-dream events in the sky) there are odd events occurring near and on the visible but dim sun even though it is fully nighttime. The sun, though, seems to be behind some sort of odd "filter” or unusual static (unmoving) squarish gray cloud. Slightly to its right are several small meteors moving horizontally to my right in sparse clusters, all different colors (red, green, purple, blue, etc.), seemingly fizzing across the sky almost like the appearance of sparklers (perhaps to also aid in the end of the world along with other events I seem to be aware of, such as earthquakes, Earth going out of orbit, volcanoes, etc.), but I am not sure if they are close or farther out in space.

      I call happily out to Jim about the sea serpent behind him. He cheerfully turns and swims in the opposite direction, directly towards it, and deliberately swims into its open mouth as if that were the best thing he could do with his life. He even makes an extra attempt to make sure he is aligned properly to the jawline to get eaten as quickly as possible. This strange behavior seemed expected in the back of my mind. Meanwhile, meteors are hitting in the distance.

      Later, my dream seems to shift and I am with some unknown people (or composite variations of male classmates from high school) in a casual street scene. One asks me if I had been “damaged”, referring to my childhood and relationship with my brother Earl (died November 29, 2007 at only 67), and my response is a cheerful confirmation that I had not been. He was not mean-spirited or abusive in any way, even though he did steal from family members at times.

      Updated 06-14-2017 at 04:47 AM by 1390

    10. Fetal Goddess

      by , 06-03-2014 at 01:55 PM
      Night of June 3, 2014. Tuesday.

      I am moving out into this astounding landscape which is somewhat forest-like and somewhat (less dense) jungle-like, and slightly marsh-like. I am fully lucid for a time. The beauty is extraordinary and breathtaking, and everything seems to glow with an inner radiance (such as when looking at a photographic negative and black shadowy areas become white “light” and so on).

      I approach this large sphere-shaped “cage” that may not actually be a cage but some sort of protective construct of what is inside. What is inside is an unknown black-haired female, sometimes moving into a fetal position, with a few items of inverted-clover jewelry set with very small stones and a silver belly-button inset item that is also like inverted (four-leaf) clover, but she is mostly hovering in the air (as if there is no gravity inside the structure), though there appear to be some sort of elaborate blankets and such inside as well; coppery and silvery, and some of a cobalt impression. The “bars” of the globe-like structure are at various random angles and distance from each other, and somewhat like a mix of spiderweb, silky and white “faux Spanish moss”, some sort of “raggedy” white felt, and some sort of pearl-like sparse “wire”. The trapezoidal space between these “bars” at the area of their most distant separation is enough to allow her to almost crawl out, I think. However, several times, the “bars” actually seem to be more like an energy form only, as they move into different uneven patterns randomly, similar to Z-like and Y-like forms, looking somewhat like globules of trailing spilled milk or perhaps organic or mist-like and tendril-like energy.

      I approach the “cage” (which is hovering in the air with nothing attached and about a foot from the marshy ground) and her eyes glow with a turquoise luminescence, bordering on teal and leaving a lighter blue “afterglow” when turning her head (most all of her eyes - not just the irises). For a short time, I touch her fingers (the “bars” feel like some sort of algae-like texture blended with felt and I almost get the impression of quickly fizzing small bubbles on the surface) and feel a mild current of electricity that is just on the threshold of causing numbness. I ask her who she is and she simply stretches out her legs and floats upward more and I hear this sound like pool balls continuously hitting each other but slightly softer. She blows a kiss (or similar - it seems more like she is “sending energy”), but with her hand at the right side of her mouth in a vertical position rather than the typical horizontal and fingers forward extension.

      A group of “tourists” are absentmindedly walking by, a couple nearly tripping on blades of grass (which really is not that long) giving the impression that it is their first time walking on grass or earth. I notice a large lion a short distance away. It opens its mouth, its tongue comes out (becoming a “red carpet”) and it sort of lies down on its stomach and appears more like some sort of ancient building for a time. I look inside of its mouth from a closer position and notice it is like looking into a passageway of stone blocks and there even seems to be torches higher on the “walls” inside.

      The casually-dressed “leader” of the tourist group indicates that all the people (about fifteen or so) should follow him into the “building”. They walk into the “doorway” and turn down the implied hallway inside until they are all out of view. The lion then closes his mouth, blinks sleepily and begins to wash itself like a young cat and starts purring. I walk up to the lion and look into his eyes as if they were like a pair of binoculars. The people inside seem to be lost and confused and looking for the exit. Oh well… “Oh the humanity” I cheerfully joke, and start rolling on the ground laughing…

      Updated 06-15-2015 at 01:25 PM by 1390 (Enhancement)

      Tags: goddess
      lucid , memorable
    11. Sensual Bliss, Enhanced Sense of Touch, Infinite Peace

      by , 05-18-2014 at 11:18 AM
      Morning of May 18, 2014. Sunday.

      In the first section of the dream, I am with my wife and we are outside in some sort of unusual version of the backyard in Cubitis. Oddly, more to the east, is some sort of unusual version of my sister Marilyn’s house. As is often the case, this composite is unique, not having been a (fictional) location in any other dream. I am only semi-lucid at this point. My youngest son is playing in a narrow ditch oriented east-west. It is a warm day. A black male and his wife and younger son (about the same age as my youngest son) fly down and land farther to the east in a helicopter. Although he carries a gun (possibly just for protection), there does not seem to be any threat.

      Meanwhile, I hold my hands up and forward and water emerges with a large amount of force from the palms of my hands and fills the ditch in a short time so that my son can swim in it. Over time, I do unusual tricks with the water; I somehow will the water (with a sequence of hand motions similar to portal rituals) to come up to make a temporary translucent “wall” and enjoy other variations of forms, seeming to have full control of the water molecules. My wife and I enjoy the imagery as I work with shaping the water molecules into various forms, including cylindrical and conical forms that hover in the air for a short time before falling back into the body of water as dispersed drops and with very vivid and clear splashes.

      The other man and his family watch for a time. Later, we are sitting on the porch and enjoying a bit of a “magic show” I do, but it mostly only relates to smaller things, such as restoring torn apart envelopes, and restoring teeth broken off a comb. Once I restore everything in the immediate environment, the family starts to leave in the helicopter. However, at this point, my wife says that the pilot and a couple other males are stealing the barbecue she had bought for a neighbor as a birthday present, so, without them noticing I mentally float the box to about roof level and manage to get it on its way by going a little higher and to the back of our house and beyond, assuming it will reach its destination.

      The first part of the next section starts with me being in the large, fancy bedroom of a seemingly unknown house. My sister and her husband are there. Apparently, my wife has transformed into some sort of in-dream entity and is much younger, a bit thin (but not unattractively so) and with a more powerful, yet more youthful voice and longer hair. My sister seems to know my wife’s family and how she was “adopted” (she was not in real life) and in fact, had taken over her adoption at one point in the past. This may seem strange, but it directly relates to a dream I had before meeting my wife where she moved past the windows of my room and was then having a very long conversation with my sister (when she was still alive) about me (seemingly not knowing I was watching them), which I will write about later.

      I start to feel a change within myself, unlike any I have felt before. It is as if I am the origin of consciousness. There is talk about how people who are “not human” - which implies myself and my wife, have to pretend so much to be of a certain consensus and state of mind for a time to “get along” with humans.

      I hold out my right hand to show my brother-in-law a trick. Being able to create fire, air, water (and in the past, grains of dirt) from the palms of my hands, a typical dream ability for me, I focus and “allow” a large reddish-orange flame to move up and grow in size and then after a “whooshing” sound, it fades. I do this a couple times. My brother-in-law explains that he is actually like me in the sense of not being human, and explains that he has to pretend not to be made of ice (apparently being an “ice elemental”). (In real life his IQ was only around 70 and he could not read or write - but sometimes pretended to and often ended up giving letters to the wrong people and pretended to read a newspaper at times - but he still worked long and hard for many years.) Unfortunately, he sounds even less intelligent (entering that Roger-Miller-like intellectual disability but in baritone) showing his “true” ice elemental form than his human form, which I say nothing about and just sort of go along with it.

      My sister and her husband are going out, and it dawns on me that this means I am the Source. It is my dream alone. The affirmations I have developed this year have incredible power (and I have learned they affect other people), and it looks like the “gate” was finally “opened”. I am in a state of sensual bliss and peace before I even actively indulge in sensual bliss directly. The thought amuses me greatly. Obviously, there is only one thing to do…

      I ask my wife in her present form if she had ever been with a male before and she says “yes” quite passively yet with a discernible degree of assertiveness of experience - which seems quite odd, because the question seems metaphorical and she has only just recently been “born” into the world (and having “instant intelligence” as with the formation of tulpa-based dream character development I had started a few months back). Still, that does not seem to matter. Her name has transformed into “Sharon Rabbit”. I suppose this sounds hilarious because it sounds like a play on “sharing a rabbit”. She has a middle name that I see on an adoption document - and it starts with “C” - but I am not positive of what it is - it looks a bit like “comely” at one point. Sharon Comely Rabbit. Dreams certainly lack more realistic names, do they not? However, I can be certain there really are people called Sharon Rabbit, so ignore my blathering here. (In fact, I had made some sort of remark to my sister about why the surname was “Rabbit” which seemed to relate to having more children than average.)

      We lie down on the bed (and the scene plays out almost as if exactly planned but this dream was not scripted at all), and from there, it is a bit too personal to go into the diverse details. I can make notes on some things. The sense of touch (in fact, all senses) was more vivid and intense than in real life as well as being more “focused”. Her silky flowing hair was like intoxicating perfume, building in layers of bliss (almost like a growing echo upon echo effect in sound until it grows into one roaring peak - which modern digital equipment cannot even begin to handle like the old analogue did), and her voice was so harmonious, flowing, and sensual, it flowed into my body and out again as if my body was like a speaker cone or amplifier (rendering most other human voices I have heard in real life seem dull and annoying in comparison - but I suppose that was the attraction in the first place in reality), very hard to put into words (this seems to have been foreshadowed by the dream where my wife’s skin had “ripples” and “waves” like the ocean). There was such a realistic sense of physical connection and orientation - it is also hard to put into words. Even so, this precise level of size orientation and audio and even location did not reflect anything ever experienced in this manner dream-wise. (Often my dreams have odd distortions in size, by magnification or shrinking - often being that my hands seem magnified and cars seem way too small to be able to get into - in the past, houses were sometimes like this, and there are often changes in distance perception as well.) From here, my wife’s real voice joins with the “vibrations” of the in-dream one and I am instantly awake with no discernible difference in perception.

      I have validated my work fully and now understand how to do it whenever I want - I guess once again, simple “knowing” and the practice of such paid off (over twenty years more intensely working with word patterns and various types of phrasing and focus at various levels). I thought something was different last night, when I was doing “sending affirmations” (for about six hours - the amount of time some people spend passively watching television, unfortunately) in still states and getting more than the usual “feedback”, almost audibly - often, this “feedback” has a few “negative phrases” or “denial responses” that imply duality such as id and ego boundaries - or seemingly telepathic “break-ins” by other people which are really annoying, but this time, there were none at all. This dream was probably the most “stable” I have had to date and not only that, I was fully myself with no distortions of mood or emotion. My true self, I suppose. Full unity.

      Updated 06-16-2015 at 06:46 AM by 1390 (Enhancement)

      lucid , memorable
    12. The Eyes of Lettuce are Upon You

      by , 05-18-2014 at 11:18 AM
      Night of May 18, 2014. Sunday.

      I seem to be in a large kitchen, though not bodily present, that is, I do not seem to possess my illusory dream self’s body. It may be the set of one of those nonsensical reality television cooking shows (none of which we have ever watched).

      I notice more and more heads of lettuce and cabbages on a large table (not a kitchen counter). There seem to be many varieties, of which are mostly green, some leaves having light stripes. I look more closely inside the leaves, mentally willing them to spread (by way of semi-lucidity), and under their leaves, I sometimes see a human eye. This seems to be perfectly natural. I also see a few white plates and large knives.

      Dreams are known to be autosymbolic of the sleeping, dreaming, and waking processes of RAS mediation. Therefore, I can easily determine that this is an incidental playful association with “heads” of lettuce as a secondary factor of subliminal incidental focus on REM sleep (REM meaning Rapid Eye Movement, though the singular lettuce eyes were not moving rapidly due to the lack of temporality in the dream state).

      Tags: eyes, kitchen, lettuce
    13. Posh Posh Bang Bang

      by , 05-08-2014 at 02:51 PM
      Morning of May 8, 2014. Thursday.

      Firstly, in the open expanse of sky, I am aware of a small “guard booth”, similar to the building in “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang” (1968) where Lionel Jeffries sings “Posh!” (though that is actually a fancy outhouse, not a guard booth). Nothing else exists but blue sky and the hovering guard booth, which has no side windows by the way, but with the front and back entirely open. However, it is not Lionel Jeffries, but a young go-go dancer, a version of my wife seemingly “between two worlds” (or within a partial dream world just now being rendered, as if the booth was “designing” or “completing” the final stages of the go-go persona and look). This is because it seems like an isolated foyer as well as a sort of “gate” (vaguely reminiscent of an arc trellis, I think). I attempt contact, but the contact seems “filtered” somehow as if there is another world beyond which is on the “other side” and a bit on this side within this “portal” of sorts. (I am certain there is a play here, but it is mostly just because of doubled words, “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang”, “Posh Posh” and “go-go”.)

      Because of this, I looked up “posh” in the online dictionary and one of the first things I saw was “So in Punch for September 25, 1918, do we find the first recorded instance posh, meaning ‘smart and fashionable’.”

      The name “Punch” curiously brought back a prior section of the dream sequence that was a bit unusual. It was a Punch and Judy puppet show in a large park in possibly late morning. To the right, there is some sort of ladder-like structure going out from the front of the puppet stage that does not seem to be an intended part of the show. At times, though, I am reminded of a railroad track. I am weirdly “waiting” for the puppets to “notice” this (as if they were human). This ambiguous switching between ladder and railroad track has occurred at other points in my life - I think it relates to rate of dream vividness/cohesion or something (based on whether the “H” is horizontal or vertical - vertical meaning that you might be becoming more lucid or waking up). Both represent the letter “H”, though, which is also coincidentally the first and last letter of my wife’s maiden name. As a ladder, there is a brief idea that another puppet will “escape” by climbing down it, but then I remember that hand puppets do not have legs.


      Eventually, the two hand puppets take notice of the “ladder/railroad track”, now moving slightly “snake-like” as if it had been meant to be a part of their routine. However, it seems to be a “mistake” in the show whereby a real train is opposite the puppet stage (the vibrations thereby causing the intentionally unseen prop to slide out of a container behind the puppet stage curtain and into view like some sort of ironic or comical foreshadowing) and heading towards the audience. Judy waves her hand to somehow acknowledge to the audience about what almost seems like a scheduled event or some such (as if the audience is going to “get clobbered” by being hit by the oncoming train). There does not seem to be a fearful awareness in the audience yet, creating the impression that it is an illusion perhaps, though this is not certain. The puppets seem “puzzled” about the audience not getting up to leave or perhaps run away…fade to black.

      There has also been a very clear and ongoing recurring aspect of hypnagogia and beginning dream sequences over the last few months, which involves very intricate black wrought iron gates, which stand out more than anything else. This particular one had a heart symbol in the middle of the top section and was quite complex in the various thinner partial spirals and twists in the design. This one looks like a composite of Fertöd-château and one that appears to be in Salem (but with the heart outline being larger). At one point, the gate opens and the “landscape” behind it shifts into a beautiful fractal design that is primarily blue and circular, with an orange “border”. It is beautiful and like looking into deep space with no sense of being ungrounded in any way.

      Updated 06-19-2015 at 08:10 PM by 1390

    14. Clearing the Yard

      by , 04-29-2014 at 08:04 AM
      Morning of April 29, 2014. Tuesday.

      My wife and I are living in Cubitis seemingly in the present. However, it looks as it did in the early 1970s for the most part until the shorter trip northward.

      In my dream, I wake up on Easter in my old bedroom. When I look out the southernmost window (west wall of room) to the north, I notice two cars parked in the driveway and another one parked north to south in the yard near where the three silver oaks had been (but are not in the yard in my dream). I tell my wife about it and we are both really annoyed at this. The people are possibly visitors of the newer people who moved into the house north of us (Harold M’s old house) on the other side of the orange grove. A little later, I notice a rusty old car body only (with no chassis to be seen anywhere) blocking the driveway near where it opens out onto Highway Seventeen, oriented south to north. This makes me really aggravated, because it means that in order to walk beyond our house, we would have to walk down into the culvert and out again to get to the wayside of the highway (oddly, I do not consider walking through the neighbor’s yard). I say this to my wife.

      Later, I go outside and see that there is another junk car (body only, no chassis) also longways blocking another driveway two houses to the south. I wonder what other people are thinking of these other invasive people. I notice that part of the house now actually looks like our present one, which does not seem that unusual at the time; that is, it has the “same” porch and living room at that point, but perpendicular to how it really would be in reality.

      After a time, I notice an old (1969?) John Deere tractor heading my way, first noticing it approaching from about four houses south. It has no driver (but travels mostly in an even path) and eventually stops when it crashes with a thud into the southwestern corner of our porch (this is probably a distorted “replay” of when a car crashed into our porch in real life).

      A little later, it seems my father is alive and well and living at our address (yet seems only around fifty and fairly muscular - though he was very muscular even in his seventies, when he still sometimes looked to be around his late forties when compared to others). He has some folded papers that he takes out of his left pants pocket which relate to a list of some things (as a receipt) I supposedly bought in 1984 and he seems concerned about all the money I spent but for some reason, I tell him that I did not actually buy any of whatever is in the list, but that it is some sort of “prop” for a stage play or some such. We pick up and arrange some tools in the shed, putting things back where they should be.

      We decide to clean up the yard, starting with the tractor and the car body at the end of our driveway. My father somehow effortlessly picks up the John Deere tractor with one hand and arm and I pick up the car body with one hand and arm. It does not seem that unusual that we are doing this. We go north one additional section beyond the neighbor to the north where there is a (fictional) junkyard and place the two items in a pile. The area (same owners?) also seems to serve partly as a lumber company. The owners are walking around and had told us where to put the “junk” and after we set it down, we return to remove the parked cars, which seems a bit “mean”, but also amusing. We receive a fairly small payment.

      After this, I enjoy some intimate time with three very passive younger copies of my wife in the southern side-yard who are also all dressed identically in yellowish and white (somewhat bridal-looking, but above the knees) formal ruffled dresses, though I can only seem to “work” with two at a time. There are a few other (unknown) people walking around who I mostly ignore. At this point, my dream intensifies into full lucidity (and lasts a fairly long time) and I have the usual concern about what my real body is doing at the time or whether I am uncovered in reality while in my dream. This does not shorten or negate my dream, though. (At least I am not focused on whether or not my real body is sleepwalking in the street during busy traffic during full dream lucidity, as I sometimes do.)

      Updated 06-15-2015 at 08:34 PM by 1390 (Enhancement)

    15. Through the Fence

      by , 04-17-2014 at 10:17 AM
      Morning of April 17, 2014. Thursday.

      The setting is very similar to our backyard, and it probably would be our backyard were it not for a group of Aboriginal Australian girls moving from near the front of the house along the side, seemingly coming to talk to me (perhaps I am trespassing). They are mostly dressed in blue jeans and casual blouses and tank tops. It seems to be late afternoon. I am only semi-lucid and I am thinking of some sort of “trick” (in case I am absentmindedly trespassing and thus to avoid a confrontation by going over to what appears to be a public-park-like area) which involves walking through the tall wooden fence (which looks very similar to the one we have in real life). I move one slat on the fence (so that it is only still attached near the top by one nail) that is almost to the end of the backyard (perhaps the fifth slat back from the end corner) and am able to step through sideways with just a little difficulty. However, I end up in an area (which may either be a public park or another backyard, though seems almost like a woodland area) that also has a large group of Aboriginal Australian girls who seem a bit annoyed at my antics or appearance from the other yard (it is possible that the two groups are having a feud with each other).

      An older female of about seventy or so, with white hair, asks me if I have seen her husband. There is some sort of short conversation she continues with, with me, relative to whether he has been “left alone” (I am not sure if he was supposedly on the other side of the fence or had disappeared or become lost - I get the impression she means that he might have even died) which seems a bit odd and with an ambiguous meaning; that is, “being left alone” in a negative sense (and not having a partner to share life with) and “being left alone” with a positive implication as in not being bothered. I am trying to work out the odd ambiguity as my dream looses focus, the older lady’s eyes being quite vivid and intense and I am not sure what to say because I am confused about the meaning. I say something like “People have never left me alone in my life,” (coming off as a bit sarcastic) which does not sound quite right, as I am supposed to be talking about her husband, not myself, though I have no idea who he is or about anything else that is going on.

      Updated 05-23-2016 at 08:07 AM by 1390

      Tags: fence, old lady
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