lucid

Morning of January 22, 2015. Thursday.



I am “locked” for quite some time into a seemingly perpetual vivid lucid state, especially near the last section, which shifts into higher clarity exponentially - a partial repeat of an earlier state where sensuality was enhanced and sustained for an atypical length of time, but my focus begins to wander a bit. I find myself on Loomis Street, though it is a larger version of the house. A sense of danger automatically penetrates my dream’s perspective at first, but because I am lucid it is more like a folly. It is something to do with a play on “kraits” relative to “crates”.

A smaller black krait (venomous snake) appears in the living room. I pick it up and it eventually bites me but I am not remotely concerned (even feeling the pain) and even study the fang marks on my hand, which soon fade. This dream scene repeats at least six times, as if “resetting” but with minor variations, including the species of krait. Members of my family are there including Marilyn (deceased). I am fully aware of the venomous nature of the snakes, but have no concern, as I see them as in-dream “glitches” or “forced drama”, where the mind typically creates an imaginary problem or pointless fear as a challenge (or for deliberate self-limitation) of sorts.

At one point I cut the snake’s head off after it bites me and it slowly dies, but I put the head back on and it comes back to life and bites me again (a scene likely influenced by a similar event from “Castle of Blood” from 1964 - one of the only movies that ever held my interest over time). Not that impressed, I put the head on the tail and the tail on the head. I am still not impressed. The snake still acts normal at that point.

I go into another room and find a large “crate” which is eventually more like a toy box or hope chest. This is apparently where the kraits came from originally (though it turns out that it is the mattress producing them). The large wooden chest is filled with numerous variations of plastic simulated human bones, including skulls, and some model organs. I am somewhat annoyed that I cannot find real bones in the chest and spend a bit of time looking at the somewhat amazingly rendered pieces, especially with regard to the diversity. My dream then goes a bit strange, more vivid, and highly atypical.

I am lying in a bed near the chest (which is at the head) and the bed becomes like viscous liquid, an actual “primordial soup” though I still automatically float atop it. The vivid perception seems almost “impossible”. From lower within the mattress that is seemingly made of murky water somehow kept in shape arises another krait, in a horizontal stretched-out position, which I pick up and twirl around in my hand and then throw it on the floor, unimpressed. This happens numerous times. I look at a certain area of the surface (which seems slightly magnified) and clearly see almost the exact same shape repeat each time in its emergence and I question whether or not this can even be possible. It also frustrates me somewhat. Somehow, it seems too “perfect” to be able to be rendered in-dream in this manner so many times in a row. However, the snake emergences eventually turn out to be short lengths of burnt rope now and then, or weirder, part snake and part rope a couple times (that is, a rope with a snake’s head or a snake with a piece of rope as the “head”).

Eventually, the “snake” that rises up within reach is actually a small branch, which crumbles slightly in my hand like ash, which I also toss to the floor. Still, there had been something about the imagery forming that seemed like tapping into a part of the mind I had never encountered before. I eventually decide that these “snakes” are just “pieces of shadows” and I seem to be right. I “pick up” the next “snake”/shadow and it does not seem to actually be there even though it moves about somewhat snakelike before separating into several smaller cylindrical ash forms that mostly dissolve. It was almost like somehow picking up the crest of a wave and giving form to it by thought alone.

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It can be seen that the snakes here represent the power of creation and manifestation in the context of dream state alchemy. Within the deep induction looking down into infinity, there is ambiguity in weather they are snakes, burnt branches, or solely waveforms and elongated morphing shadows that are only partially phased into my “reality”.

Morning of January 22, 2015. Thursday.



Of all the “experiments” I have done in my life to influence, enhance, or alter dream states, I have ultimately decided that simple thinking is the key. I have tried a particular focused form of thought enough to know it is the most powerful technique, especially when preceded by “thank you for…” (without even needing belief in a deity). Just listening to something does not seem to do much unless it is with my own special technique and even that has certain limitations in certain states. Needing to hear something seems to limit certain states (plus, I have experienced a vivid lucid state where external sound and its influence is non-existent), likely because a part of the mind is still “grounded” in a particular way. (Once again, I should mention the lucid dreaming fiasco of years ago where I entered the most vivid dream state possible with a shorter audio loop, though once in my dream, solely tried to find the source of the sound to turn it off - the very meaning of “irony”). So what do I do that works? Three-minute very subtle mental affirmation meditations (not spoken aloud, just actively thought) throughout the day and night (sometimes in closer clusters), watching the clock and using an addend of four but only ever counting them as three minutes in my personal journal. In this case, it added up to sixty minutes overall.

In my dream (and the ones which followed) I find myself in a full-body awareness that is no different from being awake other than the senses being enhanced and the depth perception intensified. This used to puzzle me - but I attribute it to being “closer” to one’s internal awareness in sleep. I have never had the slightest concern (as some people claim as possibility) about differentiating from the real world and a dream when awake - and in a vivid lucid dream, that concern is pointless anyway, so yet again, typical mainstream dream literature fails to impress me or even make any sense.

I find myself in a dream environment in a larger room that I cannot identify, though it is similar in familiarity to (but much larger than) the larger southernmost room in the Loomis Street house. I am sitting comfortably on an armchair facing east. As with another recent dream, the increased sensuality, almost to a point where I would otherwise think it impossible, seems the most “automatic” and natural of all dream states, almost as if all nuances of my dream are “instantly surrendering” to a core subliminal whim. In fact, all I do is lift my arms up a bit and my beautiful wife materializes in front of me (only her head at first) and she bends down to indulge in passionate kissing with me for quite some time. The sense of touch is probably double that of reality and I am also amazed by the solid nature of her form.

This is followed by making love on the floor, from the side and from behind, but holding ourselves up with our left arms, in some sort of otherwise physically impossible situation (well, at least for me). During the climax, I notice (as I have in several other dreams) that my wife has sparse reptilian scales around her hips and bordering the small of her back, which does not bother me. However, I soon take this into a forced scenario out of habit, relating to what I feel happens often in non-lucid dreams; that is, the dreamer forcing certain possible conflicts possibly regarding a need for increased “pulsing” energy as such for whatever reason (again, for example, maintaining the knowledge but vague memory that I was solely the one that instigated my own chase dreams even with dinosaurs following me, just to experience the event, although most people do not seem to remember the event horizon of when they planned this themselves, so thus you have people that believe in demons or similar entities - the case seemingly being that a particular section of memory was lost).

My dream is not “fooled” though and I am too vividly integrated with my dream’s environment to be absentmindedly a “victim”. When I try to force a negative association for a dramatic movie-like scene, I illogically in the past tense speak to my wife, saying, “You had scales!” but she just cheerfully lightly laughs and shakes her head and levitates a bit from the floor, “rolling about” in midair and lowering herself again. I ask her “Why did you have scales?” and then I feel idiotic since it was me that gave her the scales in the first place. I try to get her to appear more aggressive, but that fails and she becomes about ten years younger and we make love again, “rolling around” in midair, at times like mists with various tendrils but I also become aware of where I am in reality.

An odd false awakening occurs. I am in the computer room in Wavell Heights though the setup and room layout is different. My dream is almost as vivid as my previous but I am no longer lucid. There is a closed window near where the printer is. The printer seems more like an oversized typewriter. There are also what seem to be kitchen features in the room, including a faucet over the top of the printer (seemingly on the window sill as was strangely the case in our Clayfield apartment’s kitchen). I absentmindedly turn the faucet on (it is more to the right), realize that the printer is then filling up with water (almost in the manner of a sink) and then turn it off. The physical sensations of doing this are greatly enhanced and I briefly contemplate that real life is not this “close” in the sense of touch but do not become lucid again. Once again I catch myself having turned the faucet on in the semi-dark room. I again turn it off just as the water starts spilling over the top of the printer a bit. It then sits there still full, like a full sink, and I am contemplating when it could be used again. I then finally notice that the printer is plugged in, so I remove the cord from the printer itself, which is higher up on the front instead of the back area (this is likely because the back of my desk in reality is open to the path into the room as if it was the “front”). I then go to tell my wife about the event, planning on asking her to help with getting the water out of the printer by using cups, though this does not seem feasible. I do not think turning it upside-down would be a good idea, though.

There is another false awakening, this one more intense, but ending up as some sort of parody of people who preach about the end of the world. Having heard about the supposed approaching “end of the world” in virtually endless scenarios since I was very young, any emotional impact or credibility has dissolved. I am watching a set of four smaller televisions in a column in an extended part of a doorway. Each television has the same show but with slightly different timing (this is based on a real-life event of years ago, where I was changing channels and noticed the same religious show on two different channels but one about a minute ahead of the other and I played around, sometimes getting unintentionally funny phrases with each switch over).

There is a chubby preacher ranting before a live audience, loudly asking “What if the world ends tomorrow?” and he keeps repeating this for a short time with a terrified look on his face. I notice red flashing lights and other people crying out including a few from the choir on the stage. It almost seems possible that the world could end tomorrow but I do not feel afraid. However, he then shouts “What if the world ends the day after tomorrow?” with an even more terrified visage. This does not seem to make much sense as that would be one day later and less to worry about for a short time. However, he keeps going on like this, with his emotional anticipation illogically inverted, going into more and more preposterous and loud unrestrained queries such as “What if the world ends the day after the day after the day after three weeks from tomorrow?” seeming more and more alarmed each time, the longer the potential “doomsday” is from then - completely senseless. The audience keeps gasping and crying out to everything he says. I stand there in disbelief until my dream fades with a strong and clear attitude that it does not even matter if and when the world ends - why keep theorizing as such? This last false awakening seems vaguely influenced by the last scenes from “The Blob” (1988 version) - seen the evening before - where the traumatized preacher is shown as having the power to “end the world” from a piece of the life-form he has in a container.

Night of January 17, 2015. Saturday.

Dream #: 17,561-03. Reading time: 55 sec. Readability score: 55.



I am in a calm, relaxed mood in our present home on W Street, but I realize something eerily dynamic is in the area near where I am resting. I see a horseless rocking horse “rocking” on the ceiling (in the same manner as if it were on the floor but upside-down) a short distance from one side of the room. (I also get the vague and barely discernible impression of a robotic spider.) It continues to rock in one spot only for a short time.

I get a vague impression that I should be “terrified of this nightmare” and yet I am only puzzled and then very mildly amused at the idea and weird imagery.

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This short dream is seemingly a continuation of residual energies from “Rocking Horse Epilogue” on the 16th. (I am feeling more myself again on the 26th after my dehydration experience.) It may be a representation of mortality as dismantling a baby cot (or cradle) represented death before my sister died. In addition to having precognitive dreams of her condition, I dreamt that she and her husband were dismantling a baby cot even though they never had children of their own. (The upside-down horseless rocking horse also resembles part of an arched gateway, including a section that looks like a ladder; other associations with mortality and organic or spiritual change as well as inherent dream state autosymbolism.)

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Morning of January 10, 2015. Saturday.



I do not normally include this common dream type online (at least yet) as, really, it is impossible to give justice to in writing; plus, being mostly imagery-based (for the most part) with no actual plot (and with far too many unique scenes to faithfully document online), it is not as “useful” or relative to more complex word associations or nebulous intrigue - it is more like passively indulging in pure overwhelming fantasy. Still, it is a very good example of what I do not usually post (again, yet); that being a standard vivid fully lucid dream (sometimes of which I have about a dozen or so per night since early childhood, though often “collections” of many more shorter mostly unrelated ones). It is somewhat puzzling, though. As with another recent ecstatic dream (“Return to the Green”) it somehow seems linked to the Tetris effect, yet also, seems to have been “triggered” by one completely unrelated image. That is only my guess, though.

At one point later on (after my dream starts to “swirl” and transform to more mundane visual nuances and non-glowing colors as it ends), I hear a seemingly “meaningful” phrase which is actually typical in-dream absurd gibberish where words are changed around with an emphasis on similar phonemes. It turns out to be “Ban the head and hedge the wedge!”

My dream begins to form with extraordinarily beautiful black and orange fiery clouds in what may be the early evening sky, implying perhaps a volcanic eruption in the distance, though this is uncertain as it may just be a wondrous sunset (or sunrise?). In the back of my mind I am thinking it may be about Krakatoa. For a short time, I focus on moving the sun around in the sky to change what time it is, but that is not fully instigated or dominant. I see the beautiful semi-lit ocean before me. I seem to be on the shore of an isolated island with a white sand beach, but for the most part, remain disembodied.

I mostly remain in a typical vivid lucid dream state where I just watch my dream and contemplate materializing my physical form into it depending on what I see. The three-dimensional depth perception is greatly enhanced as is the “glowing from the inside” effect of most of the characters and environmental features.

An old skiff (with about half the paint flaked off) approaches the island (with incredibly accurate and clear detail, even in the wonderful motions and variations in the water), with one younger girl in loose white rags jumping out from near the front of it and trying to pull it closer to the beach (rope over shoulder) through the beautiful shallow (about knee-high) turquoise water. There are about six other females aboard, some more pirate-like than others. I absentmindedly attempt to step into my dream causing an odd vertical water-like ripple effect in front of me whereby the girl looks confused, then backs up, jumps back in the skiff, and then the skiff floats back out about five feet from shore. She looks in my direction curiously as if I am only half visible. I decide to become fully invisible by phasing back out of the scene. The scene repeats. She jumps out and splashes back into the beautiful turquoise water, pulls the skiff with an old rope over her left shoulder again (holding it with both hands) and remains on the periphery of the shore looking around. Meanwhile, I am still contemplating moving the sun across the sky, still somewhat admiring the intense fiery black and orange expanse of clouds that sit on the horizon. I also notice about six pirate ships in various locations. It is possible, at one point, that the black and orange clouds are caused by a burning ship, but this is not certain. The ships I do see are not involved in any conflict.

Eventually I realize that there are hundreds of solely younger females everywhere on the ships in various modes of dress, but mostly no later than the 1880s. Rather than exploring the island a bit more inland, I soon mostly float disembodied over the ships. I decide to just watch everything rather than entering in my physical form. I do not want to disrupt such incredible imagery. The girls mostly just stand around in various areas of the ships (including one on each step of a staircase) and there is no sign of actual piracy of any kind. In the back of my mind, I contemplate approach or direct contact of certain ones, such as one in a white dress (which slowly billows out and sways a bit) near the outer deck, but do not. There is a slight breeze. These ships seem to be “in waiting” for something but I am not focused on that concept very much. I mostly remain on the outside of the ships, floating at about three to four feet up in most instances. It goes on for at least fifteen minutes during which time I become aware that my breathing is quite deep and long.

There is a rather unusual distorted (but still very vivid) feature. One ship (more specifically just above the deck of it) has a tendency to “warp” into what seems like an elongated covered timber-truss bridge, warping slightly to the left in the distance in a somewhat tunnel-like effect over the ocean yet into infinity. I do not enter at any time; I just watch it curiously. It is not quite ominous, just a bit out-of-place with the rest of the imagery. This may be an ambiguous variation of the “eternity bridge”, a fairly common feature in my dreams since childhood.

Morning of January 5, 2015. Monday.



I got to “travel” a little within an incredibly beautiful green landscape. This sometimes happens when I do a bit of weeding, but interestingly, I pulled up some tougher weeds in one part of the lawn mostly after sunset - which is in contradiction to the Tetris Effect (and thus “unexplainable”) regarding the very bright, even “glowing” visionary imagery.

This intense dream experience has caused me to question the actual nature of the so-called Tetris Effect and what is really happening at different levels of consciousness. I had assumed before that the reason I had such beautiful vivid (and fully lucid) dreams on an evening or next morning of a session (no matter how short) in gardening, where the entire landscape was made of various types of beautiful plants and continuous amazing changes in scenery and often additional patterns - was because of seeing a few different types of plants in brighter sunlight for an extended time. It seems that concept is not quite right, at least in every instance.

The same type of amazingly beautiful and blissful “glowing” dream still happened when I did a bit of weeding in real life (for a fairly short time) after sunset due to it being so warm during the day. I actually was lying on the ground for about ten minutes at a time to get better access to the tougher woody stems and I could not see all that well.

Even so, off I go later in my dream into the beautiful, wondrous landscapes. No people are around anywhere as I travel (and I am aware that most people cannot “see” at this level and I feel slightly sad for humanity about knowing this), although there had been a brief period where I was watching a smaller human hand seeming to reach up to me (though the person likely not buried or injured) as if only partly covered by stripes of mud near possibly a partly collapsed man-made structure such as an old wooden bridge - I do not think they had fallen; it may be a typical automatic tulpa-like creation. I want to grasp it and make contact (especially in such a bright and “accelerated” state) but there is a shift in my dream in it becoming even more brighter and vivid and with an increasing variety of plant types. For a time, I see rather large spider lily plants as well as both smaller and larger ferns and horsetail plants. I see a swaying of various smaller plants (a little less than knee-deep) in one area (from a mild breeze, I think, or possibly from something moving just under the average plant-height level) and there is a small cluster of trees across from me. It appears to be on the side of a small hill though the slope is only about twenty degrees. I am not certain if there is solid ground or water under this particular expanse of plants, so I remain disembodied and float over the region.

After a time, when I am indulging in the overall beauty of the region, I notice a few different paths through marshy areas and sparse woody areas, the whole time feeling very peaceful and satisfied. Various pieces of straw, thin but longer sticks, and large green plant stems are lying along the paths at various angles. I also see smaller patches of yellow sand and white sand as well as the dirt along the paths.

As is typical of this dream type, there are shifts in higher stages of “glowing” sections. I see feathery plants and very vivid and precise leaf patterns, both magnified and as part of a wonderful landscape, moving about in my disembodied “orb” form (though able to take human form if I wish).

The usual “tunnel” appears, which seems to go deep into the earth, and is lined with some sort of light-colored plant matter, perhaps root-like. This type of feature always occurs in this dream type. In this one though, I am not as aware of insects and arachnids in remarkable detail as sometimes inconsequentially occurs.

There is a scene of six coppery cobras facing outward in an implied hexagon, swaying about but otherwise not moving from their positions and not even causing any wariness in my fully relaxed state (though this is typical, as I am rarely concerned with any type of potentially “threatening” imagery in this particular state) - it is more like they are “living statues” in a way, but still with some sort of power. The bottom parts of their bodies seem somewhat joined or tied in some sort of knot at one point.

I am now inclined to believe that it is sometimes primarily the “energy” and physical contact (from plants and the ground) that brings about this dream type rather than (or in addition to) just the bright imagery. The evidence speaks for itself - that, and the fact that I am not thinking of weeding at all in this type of in-dream environment - two facts which seem to contradict the Tetris Effect ideology, which interestingly enough, I did not question that much in the past due to seemingly relevant experiences and positive results of experiments relating to it. Also, the imagery of the plants I had seen in reality on a particular day are not necessarily dominant at all in this dream type; sometimes the plants even seem prehistoric, as if I was sometimes looking at the energy forms and possible variations of all plants throughout existence.

Morning of January 1, 2015. Thursday.

Reading time: 35 sec. Readability score: 48.



I am supposed to get on a military helicopter under non-threatening conditions, approaching from its right side. It features a camouflage design. It is in a mostly featureless field with overgrown weeds. While walking, my foot catches on a piece of uprooted root or snagged plant stem, and I trip with the usual hypnopompic kick.

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Usually, this stage of dreaming occurs as walking in a city and tripping or falling off the curb (though that is too common to bother to document, as is the beginning of this dream, as most begin with sightings of lakes and rivers as this one did), typically only as the first dream of a sleep cycle. Helicopters are a common form of vestibular system correlation and a projection of illusory physicality when there is more mental energy present, though on a spiritual level they have an association with the Merkaba as tornadoes do.

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Morning of December 25, 2014. Thursday.



I am on a helicopter seemingly in early evening, though before sunset, with unfamiliar people (including the pilot), apparently all adult males of around thirty (though I have no focus on my own age). We are flying over the ocean. I notice several girls swimming in the ocean far below. Without paying much attention to my present circumstances, a young girl is soon seen hanging in the doorway of the helicopter, to my right but only half inside, somehow having come from the ocean far below, apparently by flying. Her facial expression is cheerfully mischievous though friendly. At this point, I notice there is no pilot (of whom had originally been on my right), yet I feel only mild concern. However, two seagulls ahead, one on each side, somehow seem to be guiding the helicopter back to land by their presence alone. I assume the girl is a shape shifter whose natural form is a seagull.

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Water Induction - Vestibular System Personification, female (subliminal summoning of young version of Zsuzsanna) - Parallel Autosymbolism; RFWS (Return Flight Waking Symbolism) with WEWS (Water Emergence Waking Symbolism) - RAS truncation (pilot vanishing) - Vestibular System Mediation (soft waking) - Emergent Consciousness Factor as flight symbol - right-sided waking symbolism while sleeping on my left side.

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Morning of December 20, 2014. Saturday.



I find myself firstly on my own at my (deceased) sister Marilyn’s house. It does not come to mind that my sister had not lived there that long after I moved to Australia or yet that she had died in February of this year. However, I do begin to remember that many of my relatives had died fairly recently. In my dream, though, I soon but incorrectly “remember” that my sister Marilyn had died a couple years before my mother.

I seem to have died as well and am presently in a transitory state prior to where I will then be “living”. My sister actually appears (as she was when about thirty) and sits down next to me in the living room. I ask her how I died and she tells me about seeing atomic bombs in various parts of the world on the television news. In the back of my mind, I wonder if I will be seeing my wife and children. I ask her where her husband is. Apparently he is still alive somewhere.

Eventually, the setting becomes surreal, but not directly threatening or nightmarish. I find myself in a different region that is apparently some sort of long-term “limbo” or type of purgatory. The supposed “leader” or main authority of this place is the god Pan, who seems quite narcissistic and somewhat sadistic. All of the other “people” remind me somewhat of “Grimm’s” (the television series) Wesen characters, but not specific ones. One girl in particular is being “punished” over time to the point of appearing ill and weak. However, as this is a form of limbo where people have already died, she cannot die again (at least at this point).

She is apparently being tortured (in a supposed religious sense) for her prior lascivious nature. However, being physically “punished” for lasciviousness or consensual pleasure with someone else’s righteous sadism sounds insane, as if this limbo universe has become corrupt at the liminal stage after one dies. In the back of my mind, this causes me to question the entire nature of religion and the concept of righteousness itself. How I had not “automatically” reached this understanding as a child causes me to dwell on the “Land of the Living” also being corrupted somehow, to where falsehood is religiously impressed from a very early age, and which may actually be relative to why death itself exists.

In the back of my mind, I am trying to “remember” who Pan really is in this scenario, though I am not yet lucid. Some of the other people who have supposedly died recently are smaller animals now, which has something to do with their lack of willpower. Although Pan is still technically Pan, he now has a few subtle squirrel-like features, including the ears. It begins to dawn on me that he may actually be a “disturbed” person I have only ever read the journal of in reality; an older male who is against sexuality, against having a family and especially against having children, while at the same time elevating animals to the level of human sentience, including squirrels. This would explain the “Grimm” Wesen presence in-dream. I am not looking forward to being tortured and mindlessly “judged” by someone else’s skewed idea of religion or spirituality, and even though I am not yet fully lucid, I begin to take full control of this other dimension. I believe that continuous mental alchemy and “truth incarnate” will “fix” this limbo universe.

I start by healing the girl Wesen closest to me. It may be a younger version of my wife, but her persona is not fully defined. I place my hand on her chest and I remember that she also needs to reestablish her strength and awareness from the inside to take full control of her own physical presence in this dimension. My fingers merge into and below her skin to interface with her arrhythmic heart and I tell her to focus on and affirm “I am restored to my healthiest state” although this slightly corrupts into “I restore myself to my healthiest state” (which I can hear her saying a few times) implying omniscience over the passive “thank you for restoring me to my healthiest state” implying that others exist in this universe (other than the unified “I am”). It is however, important that she recognizes her omniscience to be fully protected against Pan. Eventually, she seems to be healthier and steadier on her feet and I feel her growing stronger and more “complete”.

When Pan approaches me and assumes an authoritative pose, I easily pull his heart from his chest and it eventually crumbles in my hand, flowing like sand from my fist as his body falls apart into small pieces. At this point, the scene shifts…

Pan and the Wesen girl and several others, now all fully human, are lying on their sides unclothed on the deck of a large ship moving through waters near Antarctica, seemingly back on Earth - and we are all in living bodies again. “What the f—?” shouts the former Pan, now shivering and appearing very vulnerable in contrast to his former faux “glory”.

I mentally create a thick jacket and outfit for the girl so that she is not cold (as she no longer has the fur of a Wesen). It is “painted” onto her as she stands up. The former Pan says something about religion, sin, and dreams and I say “Oh shut up you narcissistic fake - you know nothing about dreams” and the scene immediately shifts to distant outer space. It is as if I mentally lift and “throw” the entire ship we are on into outer space, even with pieces of ice and globs of water following us in the momentum for a time. However, we are now millions of miles from Earth on the other side of the galaxy. The immediate setting still seems the same but it is now like an imperial cruiser from “Star Wars”, though that is not what it actually is. It is a spaceship, though, being piloted by aliens that have never seen people from Earth even though they are exactly like human beings themselves (except more intelligent, it seems).

We all go inside and walk around. It is very spacious. I ask one of the males if his planet is called “Earth” and he says no. He says that they had only studied Earth at times and watch the television and radio transmissions of humans as well as the nearly endless “false” dimensions and religious realms humans create. One male says “It looks like Pan’s realm is gone”, watching the distorted horizontal bars and static on the monitor where that realm had existed prior to my dissolution of it. “It was him,” says another male, pointing to me, and I am seen as a “hero” in a sense and am given an extensive tour of the ship that seems to last a long time. The ship seems to be powered by the ice of comets being slowly exposed to plasma from stars or the manipulation of Bose-Einstein condensates and perhaps a form of magnetism - I see pieces of a recently taken comet in a large room. Another tells me that they will take me (and the others) back to Earth. They are all extremely friendly and accommodating in every way and not at all condescending regardless of their superiority.

I feel extraordinarily happy; comfortable in their presence, and secure. I stand on the deck of the ship and assume there is an additional oxygen layer (in spherical form) around the ship, which allows one to freely see all of space and still be able to breathe. I am correct in this assumption, and I also notice that the aliens have set up a holographic section in front of the ship that seems to be showing the ending credits of a movie (perhaps to make the former Pan feel more at home). It seems silly to be watching the closing credits of a movie superimposed against the backdrop of “real” outer space while standing on the external deck of a huge alien spacecraft, but it does not concern me that much. I feel subtle movements inside my head (which I have had in dreams before but which are not possible in reality) and “harmonic” sensations as I seem fully open to the aliens and the universe itself “reading my mind” completely. I welcome this. I am fully open. In fact, the more open I am, the more the dream (and the universe itself) is fully and solely “mine”.

I admire the beauty of Earth as we approach…still feeling fully open to any telepathic force that chooses to “read” me. Because, above all, I have endless faith in who I am and any imposition would only validate me further. I can feel the energies in my head shift to a more defined harmonic resonance. It feels fantastic.

Morning of December 19, 2014. Friday.



Firstly, I am in some sort of group of mostly unknown males (not relevant to real life). There are two rows of perhaps seven or eight facing each other. It seems to be on King Street, though the front (northeast) apartment is much bigger. I seem to become angry and punch most of them extremely hard. This seems to at least partly be because each and every one of them is being condescending to each and every other, sounding more and more ridiculous, like a perpetual comic strip but with no comedic elements.

After seemingly several minutes of this, I become slightly lucid (becoming more lucid over time). I have an awareness of an affirmation set and decide that instead of eliminating these people, I will heal them (including “fixing” their brain by bringing it into its most natural resonance somehow). I vaguely sense a “correct” oscillation and harmonic resonance inside their heads when I put my hand on the top of their heads and eventually place my hands on all of their heads. The effect is similar to feeling the vibrations when placing your hand on the body of an acoustic guitar when a chord is played.

I heal their wounds and cuts as well. However, because I reach an apparent overly energetic stage which is supposedly “too powerful” to use directly (with my palms, for example - where the energy seems to emanate from), I need only lightly touch them with the back of my hand to restore them to their healthiest state - otherwise my power may cause them to “disintegrate”. I do not recall this event being like this in past dreams, as I formerly used my fingers and palms.

From here, I walk out with a few (unknown) people. The porch roof is extended out more over the front yard than in reality (almost like a large lower awning) which seems frustrating relative to being able to fly out and up as soon as I want. As lucidity is dawning on me a bit stronger, I decide to fly out into the world. As I fly swiftly and efficiently, even deliberately over a longer sequence of telephone lines and power lines (which seem somewhat out of place and randomly going at an angle from the buildings and sidewalks), I notice how incredibly clear and visually defined my dream’s environment is. It is so well-rendered, I am amazed to a nearly breath-taking pleasure on the imagery alone; even more so, because it does not seem reminiscent of a real location. It seems to be near an industrial area of whatever town it is now meant to be. I notice a few buildings, a forest in the distance, and a few parked vehicles here and there, including a semi near a warehouse.



I feel fantastic as I look down and about over the scenery. At one point, I see a pile with old books and magazines, but mostly atop a taller pile of just debris, at the end of an alley, which appears to be a public dumping area. The pile is almost as high as the two-storey possibly abandoned commercial buildings on each side. I land near the top of the pile and pick up what seems to be an old “Alvin and the Chipmunks” comic book (it may be an association with an old instrumental my father wrote and performed as well as the name of where we lived at one time in Chipmunk Coulee). There are three bats on the cover (which may be related to a short-term comic strip I did as a boy about three “rock star” bats in the early 70s based on an earlier recurring dream). I tell myself that because I know I am dreaming, I may be able to actually read the entire book. However, I mostly only seem to focus on one odd phrase, which is “Poly Calep” and seeing that distracts me from my plan to read the whole comic. Perhaps this is a name of one of the characters.

From here, I am still aware of the people that had been at the meeting walking around not that far from where I am. However, I decide to enjoy more flying. I am able to again maneuver just slightly above power lines for a fair distance (which used to be problematic in dreams in my youth) without getting tangled. Oddly though, the power lines go up at an angle the farther I fly, but I still directly remain parallel to them the entire distance.

From here, I find myself back at North Monroe Street, which is usually rare to dream of. I have not been there since early 1968. I notice a few people standing around near the outer hall to the west, where my older brother Earl lived at one time. I go with my wife (who had apparently been standing in the hall) into the apartment, which seems larger and much longer to the east. Of course, I plan on having a nice romantic interlude to see what can physically occur. At this point, my dream is almost entirely under my conscious influence in every way other than the “extra people” that annoy me somewhat (which is typical of this type of lucid dream until apex lucidity is reached). We walk past three bedrooms where I can see a person’s feet sticking out from under a sheet on each bed. As we continue to walk, a male relative (Kevin M) ends up following us as well. Just as my wife and I are able to get into a bathtub (which is perpendicular to the direction we are walking), which is already full of nice cool water, he is still behind us. However, as my wife and I begin to sit down in the water (already suddenly unclothed by mental will alone), I slam the mostly opaque bathtub’s sliding door (much like the setup from King Street) so that we are then isolated from all public perspectives. (I suppose that he could have technically still opened the sliding door, but this does not really occur to me at any level of thought so does not happen.)

I am on my back and my wife sits on me in the cool water. The pleasure is quite augmented; a very clear sense of wetness and warmth (against the refreshing coolness of the water) and enhanced physical pleasure as well as spiritual unity and oneness. The only unusual distortion is that Zsuzsanna has tiny curly black hairs that create a narrower curved line going up and around her hips and back up towards her abdomen, somewhat like a doubled mirror-imaged harp design.

Morning of December 12, 2014. Friday.



I am in the process of having a sensual interlude with my wife when I am vaguely distracted by a shift in consciousness during an increase in actual rain (in reality) falling on the roof - it is a soothing sound. I am then in a large old empty church. This church (and a contemplation on why it is completely empty) is rather a surprise. There seems to be a vague female presence still (possibly the essence of my wife, but outside the room I am in) in the background. I think the (slightly smaller than life-sized) statue is of the Virgin Mary, though may also represent the generic statue of a tomb. Its location in the center of the room is not really logical. My dream is not very long, only about twenty seconds.

I reflect on earlier similar dreams, including one of “The Thinker” when I was very young. This statue does not seem to “come to life” in any way, though, as The Thinker did. It is static and with no viable essence. My mind goes two ways on what this could mean. On the one hand, it could represent my wife entering into a new spiritual potential (even after all these years) as that is what statues have tended to represent in my dream universe.

I could also ponder if the female presence was somehow M’s mother (who was Catholic) and the statue representing what is left of her life in the matter of M’s early death (in her being now less dynamic spiritually - though that is admittedly an assumption on my part). This is something that could never truly go away and which has resurfaced recently with regard to a new online entry concerning those days - also - he still appeared in a dream when I was nearly thirty. I always got the impression that M died at only thirteen because of his hatred of me (and because I did not want to fight that day - as I said in another entry, the calmer and friendlier I acted, the angrier he became), particularly what seemed like proof of precognition to him as the main basis for his anger and seeming fear - even though we had no actual relationship prior to that “last day”. Even more ironic was the fact that precognitive awareness (seemingly via Susan R) happened to me while mostly awake that night and which was verified the next Tuesday (“coincidentally” - I found out later - at the same time his funeral began). Of all the ways any of that could have gone, it all unfolded, in this case, exactly the way I “foresaw” it. However, once again, this can also be “explained” as some form of remote viewing (which I have validated for myself thousands of times, so it really does not pay to feign ignorance) rather than precognition - or more likely - the typical precognition and remote viewing hybrid that most dreams seem to carry at one level.

Morning of December 12, 2014. Friday.

Dream #: 17,525-02. Reading time: 35 sec.



This dream reflected in part (though exaggerated in context) something Zsuzsanna had recently seen on television and had not mentioned to me. (This happens often.)

There is a lake of ice falling from space, threatening the American continent. It seems like it will be a big disaster. I view various maps and see details on the televised news. Looking at the map, I notice areas that are supposedly more dangerous to be in during the impact.

However, the massive lake of ice that is almost as big as America melts rapidly on approach. It soon vanishes as it is descending, without causing any “rain.” The event results in an unusual perspective with a strange sense of being personally protected by its natural continuity.

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There is a scene from a Superman movie where he drops a frozen lake over a fire, but in that situation, it does become rain.

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Morning of December 9, 2014. Tuesday.



I had a typical semi-lucid “make everything crash and explode” dream of much the same nature as from childhood, though the childhood dreams mostly related to deliberately making cars slide around on a highway and crash into each other. Normally, I am never directly focused on the humanity involved in such disasters.

In the first part, from a distance, I deliberately (with telekinesis) cause a 747 to lose altitude and crash into the middle of a city (I guess influence from “The Medusa Touch” movie from 1978 never wore off). From there, I teleport to the location and then cause parts of the still-exploding-and-burning plane to hit a specific bus and then guide certain pieces of that bus (starting with the separated bottom, sides, and roof), to fly a fair distance through the streets of a residential neighborhood to wreak additional havoc. I have no concern of being hit by flying, exploding, and burning pieces even though they are fairly close to me at times. I feel much younger and am fast on my feet.

Later on, there is a scene with several unknown people, mostly males. One has what seems first like a toy flintlock pistol. Over time, after seeming mostly toy-like, I then have a closer look at it and it seems to be a real rifle in some ways, appearing much larger. I take aim with it in a realistically rendered manner but eventually give it back to the other male. It still seems somewhat distorted (toy-like) and with foil-covered plastic parts, including the hammer and trigger. Another unknown male on the other side of the street seems to be communicating particular sentences with me with facial expressions alone, though I do not recall any ideas from the “conversation”.

In an earlier dream, I am reading some sort of Internet-like screen, though it seems to be something different than the Internet. Apparently, it is some sort of forum-like communication but more indirect to where postal mail or something similar is implemented. An unknown female “talks” of a friend’s dream (with hand-printed writing) that featured a window and then asks what a window means in dreams.

I write a long paragraph of what windows (when as a dominant feature or main focus) in dreams have meant for me. I explain how a window can represent a portal between different levels of consciousness or focused awareness. I reflect on one dream where I seemed to be “stuck” in a window, half in and half out, and was semi-lucid at the same time, but in an uncomfortable frame of mind, both unable to wake when I wanted yet unable to enter back into deeper sleep. In another dream I had crawled through a window and became far more lucid than I had been prior to that - a lucidity more defined than some waking states. I relate how looking through a window in some dreams seems akin to watching television in reality. Finally, in a dream from childhood, having jumped from a bridge (while pursued by a brontosaurus), I landed on a window, breaking it, thus “breaking” my dream (I could no longer look up and back into the previous dream scene and see any sign of the brontosaurus) and setting about the waking process by then picking parts of the “broken dream” out of my feet and path.

At any rate, my hand-printed message, in ink, takes up about half a page. There are other things on the paper, which look to be similar to an order form or application of some kind. I plan to scan it and then send the scan digitally, I think.

Early evening of November 30, 2014. Sunday.



Ever since I was young, I learned how certain recorded affirmations in a loop (and altered in particular ways, which must be done correctly but would take hundreds of pages to clarify) - and at a fairly low volume using headphones - placed me into altered states fairly quickly (sometimes within less than three minutes or so). This is more effective with at least two different “streams” in two different locations of the stereo field (although one stream can be centered or monophonic). I never needed anything else and in fact, had been able to duplicate any kind of perceptual state without any drug or commercial product (which seems moot as dreaming is already a totally natural function anyway, but which is greatly enhanced through education, sharpening the mind, and real-life experience).

Sometimes there are drawbacks, but fairly inconsequential. This one was the “falling back into myself” event. This was caused by the fact that the sequence was only 22 minutes long and stopped suddenly, causing me to shift consciousness too rapidly (I did not intend to fully shift into this other state but sometimes it cannot be helped as it is often automatic at one point even if I am otherwise fully awake up until then). I had fallen into a deep altered state while sitting up in a chair (head slightly tilted to the right) and this is the second time it had happened recently with the “falling” event. It was so vivid and intense, I was nauseous for several minutes (much like car sickness but a bit more powerful), but then in a more focused clarity at this later stage.

Entering this other “realm” or mental location, whatever it is, had always been (for over forty years) preceded by the exact same “imaginary” sound pulsing. This is always the sound of what seems like a small stone falling into a shallow amount of water, but with various frequencies over time, and in differently oriented areas of my perception, and similar audio effects, which are mostly fluid-like. (However, there are sometimes stages where it sounds similar to someone flicking the tab on an empty soda can.)

Falling sensations “from greater heights” (seemingly) during actual normal sleeping times has been very rare for me over the last twenty years or so (other than when I deliberately do certain flying maneuvers).

During the session as I was otherwise reading here and there and looking at a couple web sites, I started to realize I was shifting and thought it might be a good idea to lie down, as I do not really like sleeping or being in a trance in an upright position when I do not have head support. I started to become aware of vague sketchy patterns - somewhat comic-strip-like, but then seemed to be very aware of a girl (wearing blue jean shorts) walking over to me and placing glasses with lighter blue lenses on my face - not only did I see this, I also felt a change in my awareness once the glasses were over my eyes. After this, I am trying to focus. I am quite aware of the imaginary sound pulsing, which at times, seems to have audio “tendrils” emerging from the stone-into-water effect coming out into intricate higher frequencies in an almost ecstatic way, almost musical (bordering on the nuances of an intricate chime effect). Another typical sound in this state is a sound somewhat like the single shuffle of a bird’s wing, which sometimes seems to cross over through either ear.

Eventually, after being who-knows-where for about twenty minutes, I find myself suddenly fully conscious “too quickly” and falling rapidly into myself (from a seemingly great distance) and am aware that all sound (both real and imaginary) has completely stopped. The nausea is a bit much but short-lasting and inconsequential.

Morning of November 24, 2014. Monday.



I am back at my older sister Marilyn’s house in La Crosse and trying to get her to appear by calling out to her to show herself (having the understanding that she had died yet also still potentially present in certain supraconscious dream realms, perhaps). I am semi-lucid in an atypical way; not in a more coherent sense. In one sense, it is vaguely like some sort of soliloquy-like seance. Over time, my sister does not walk from the other room as I expect her to even though I vaguely sense her presence on the other side of the darkened doorway. I am trying not to project my frustration as there is a growing realization she does not exist anymore, yet at the same time I sense her unwillingness to come out. However, there is no stronger focus on mortality by that point. (I have had very similar dream scenes in the past but usually tulpa-based, not related to real people either living or deceased.)

Eventually, three cats enter the house somehow (possibly through the open front door). One of the cats seems to be one which my family presently has (though had supposedly died in my dream’s back story weeks before). It is Franco, a black and white male cat. The other two cats are more like miniature leopards in one way but still with domestic cat attributes including the body proportions. From here, my dream goes into some distorted scenes where my perception is badly skewed.

I falsely “remember” that these were my sister’s two cats. Somehow (also an in-dream false memory) they died around the same time she did, which is supposedly related to something unexplainable (relative to “mutual deaths” which stems from real-life ideas of the past where a sister’s neighbor died and then their otherwise healthy spouse died shortly thereafter, supposedly out of grief). However, at the same time, there is a highly ambiguous idea that they are still alive (but Franco had been partly made sick by them as well) and had caused sickness in other people (in turn causing their death) by biting or scratching them (again, a false memory as the other people reflected upon other than my sister are still alive). Again, this is directly related to the two “leopard cats” (possible association with leprosy as well as the pet hybrid bobcat attack I experienced in my youth). They are not very aggressive (they seem to be mostly just playful though do attempt to “hunt” based on my body’s movement), but I want to completely avoid contact with them as they are seemingly venomous. I am aware of mild pressure on my body at times but I do not seem to actually be bitten at any point. (This seems partially related to a “struggle” with the bed sheet and an attempt to get my real physical body into a more comfortable position.)

I go to the couch, slowly going back into a semi-lucid state, and am on my knees on the floor at that point, my head near the seat of the couch. However, there is not that much coherence even though my general awareness is slowly sharpening. I then go into an odd state that is quite rare, where I attempt to “spit out” my dream while still in it before I fully wake. It takes about three attempts in making sure my dream’s environment does not “enter” my waking essence (the opposite of healing dreams where I intentionally carry facets of my dream’s energy into waking life). I do not seem to recall reading about this sort of dream experience, other than some supposed healers in real life spitting out the essence of what they supposedly take out of their patients. On another note, this dream setting near the couch is the exact spot of one of the only times in my life I have been ill in this manner in real life (from one of the only times in my life that I drank alcohol).

Night of November 22, 2014. Saturday.

Dream #: 17,505-02. Reading time: 44 sec.



In my dream, I am in bed in the position I am in as I sleep (though my head is in the opposite direction). I am on my stomach. I slept this way sometimes when I was young but not much as an adult.

After a short time, I realize I have four legs. My second set of legs are slightly elevated, one on each side of me. My back opens up, and my two extra legs move perfectly and simultaneously as if with a robotic function (though there is a vague association with insects). They move up and down into a recess in my back as if for storage. It is a vivid and smooth event with similar nuances as another dream of over twenty years ago when telescopes suddenly extended from my eyes.

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My dream’s causal factor stems from a lack of distinct physicality during REM sleep as well as the subliminal but distorted perception of muscular tension and relaxation. It is by way of the same process that causes the hypnopompic kick (most often when on my back) but with different dynamics.

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