non-lucid

Morning of May 10, 2018. Thursday.



I am in an unknown location that has somewhat of the essence of the middle room of the east side of the King Street boarding house (where I have not been since 1990). I am putting together this year’s education report.

Curiously, a young female from the Brisbane Department of Education is present (though is a fictitious character or at least unfamiliar). I am showing her the documents that have been correlated thus far. One section is based on a calorie intake study relating to cereal. In going through the papers, I recall that half of the documents relate to my own education and are also due.

I notice a sheet of A4 paper that I had apparently sketched a helicopter on, lengthwise on the paper. I am wondering if it is complete or needs labeling.

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Helicopters in my dreams are a common form of vestibular system correlation in anticipation of the drop.

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Morning of May 4, 2018. Friday.



My dream starts with the very common liminal awareness of my physical body being in bed as I sleep, but I do not attain viable lucidity.

My dream still renders a bed as my dream’s setting, though the location is unknown and undefined and I absentmindedly perceive it more as serving as a table upon which to play the card game. In fact, even though I am aware of playing Gin Rummy with several other people, I do not ever actually see them. I am on my left side (as I am in reality as I sleep) looking at the several piles of playing cards, some face up, each pile with a few cards, some spread out more. I am trying to remember what I need to do next.

However, as my dream self in non-lucidity has neither viable access to the unconscious nor the conscious self identity, I remain uncertain of the rules (even though I have played Gin Rummy in real life numerous times). I gather up all the cards to shuffle them and start to deal them out, but then I consider that this is probably wrong. My dream becomes more abstract and I soon wake.

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This dream was a result of watching “Think Tank” (a television game show) with Zsuzsanna, when a question about Gin Rummy was asked of one contestant and he got it wrong. It is interesting how the simplest random event can integrate into the dreaming and waking processes, but is there a real reason in this case? The question was about the highest-ranking card in Gin Rummy, of which the answer is “King”. I suspect that this correlates with potential liminal dream control in the dream state for a few reasons. One, the presence of the dream state indicator (me being on the bed). Two, my passive dream self allowing the preconscious to modulate rather than a thread of my conscious self identity taking control of my dream. Three, this dream is of the type based on thinking skills correlation, to induce synaptic gating for triggering consciousness.

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Morning of June 23, 1987. Tuesday.



I am in a completely unfamiliar region in late afternoon. I am exploring an area that seems to be somewhat like an airport, though quite strange in design. There is a high scallop-shaped platform (with primarily black, silver, and red decor, including a black carpet or softly textured floor) that people have to climb, fairly steep, but somewhat miniature steps to get up to, seemingly a bit inconvenient - and it seems people have to take all of their own luggage up to the high platform. It is probably about two stories as I believe there is at least one landing above ground-level. The steps go up from the side opposite the fan-shaped expanse. There also seems to be a semicircular railing on the highest part of the structure; the side opposite where people are mostly sitting at ground-level below. After time passes, I start to think that the airplanes are probably more like hovercrafts or flying saucers (though of entirely human design and origin), as I do not quite understand how the system works, as I reason that airplanes cannot really stop in midair at any time, which is what the scallop-shaped platform seems to indicate (that is, for flying craft to stop or hover right near or above it). I get the impression that one flight of steps may be an escalator but I am not certain. I am also considering whether or not I really need to be here, though it seemingly relates to my “mystery girl” at one point.

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Vestibular system correlation happens continuously throughout REM sleep and has been the primary cause of autosymbolism in my dreams since earliest memory. This is mainly influenced by the dream self unable to viably perceive the status of the physical body, especially in regard to the dream self discerning itself as vertical when the physical body is horizontal. The design of the platform validates this, as a seashell is associated with inner ear dynamics (balance) and holding it up to one’s ear to supposedly “hear the ocean”. The common “staircase as consciousness shift” autosymbolism also occurs here.

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Morning of May 2, 2018. Wednesday.



My dream self is sustained in liminal space in a setting that is implied to be outside at nighttime, rendered mostly as a featureless field with short grass. I am sitting in a lawn chair. My orientation is subliminally perceived as facing north. Several unfamiliar people in the area are also lounging on lawn chairs.

On my right, I see a cane toad on the ground about four feet away. It hops up in slow motion and lands softly on the right arm of my lawn chair but does not touch me. I consider if people are wondering if it is my pet, but I know it is not. I am not contemplating any venomous nature of the creature and do not see it as a threat. Still, I do not want it near me.

It somehow ends up on my left side, on the ground and about three feet away. Its body begins to make unusual movements. Its back is featured somewhat like a beetle’s elytra, though unusual irregular butterfly wings partially emerge from its sides. Its back flexes upward but the wings do not spread and it does not fly. It reminds me very vaguely of the two large fly ashtrays my father bought in the 1970s. (My parents never smoked; the fly ashtrays were kept as a bizarre novelty and decoration.) It almost seems to have the essence of a kitten regarding its interest in me as perhaps seeing me as its master.

A subliminal focus is preventing the completion of the RAS modulation. Something very similar happened in a dream of February 10 of this year, also with a cane toad, but that one was carried about in slow motion by the wind. It is subliminal dream control; an otherwise lucid mechanism that I am utilizing in non-lucidity. In addition to the subtle vestibular system correlation (though the cane toad’s wings are never fully spread out for flight), it seems likely to be based on the typical softening of the core RAS factor otherwise rendered as a snake. Otherwise, cane toads and toads in general are not very common in my dreams, despite being associated more with vestibular system correlation than a snake would be (though as a snake is the core RAS modulation factor, it does not require the additional vestibular association). For cane toads, my online journal at this time only features them in four entries inclusive of this one, two from 2018, the other two from 2014 and 2013. The subliminal RAS softening is additionally evidenced by the cane toad being oriented on my right (as waking orientation within a dream is most often to my right when I sleep on my left side, since my right side is then more exposed to my real environment) - then inexplicably to my left.

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Morning of May 2, 2018. Wednesday.



My dream begins with the very common circadian rhythm correlation of the “something wrong with the sun” factor.

In late afternoon, I am in a distortion of my Cubitis home, on the east side of the living room, though it is implied as our present home. I become aware that the sun is becoming too hot for life to continue on Earth. Thus, this is a typical “end of the world” theme (though these are rarely nightmarish for me in the way described by other people), which has occurred on a regular basis for over fifty years. I perceive much of the solar system as being oriented above and beyond the house to the east, with the implication there is no detail rendered elsewhere (such as beyond the other side of the world or to the west). This is surreal, as there are vestibular dynamics where I seem to “fall” into outer space in a dream within a dream and then shift back into my original dream’s setting without waking or with any perceived concurrent threat or concern other than the prospect of the sun eventually becoming too hot. It is as if my dream self is subliminally testing the autosymbolic (vestibular) design of my dream before deciding to continue (even though I am not viably lucid).

I am aware that the sun’s heat will be increasing exponentially, and that in a few hours it will be about 6,400 degrees (or 80^2). A number of unknown people are present. Some of the others talk about surviving for a few additional hours. Apparently, they believe they can live for an extra hour or two, or longer, by staying in a building with an air conditioner that remains on. We all go out to find a safer location.

There is a surreal scene where I am temporarily inside an upright hollow rectangular prism. Someone else is near the top looking down at me, as I am looking up from within it. There is some sort of ambiguous association with it being a vehicle. It seems nighttime at this point, but soon switches back to afternoon.

While in an unfamiliar building on the third floor, I watch equidistant soap bubbles float by outside. I realize that this means aliens are present (subliminally influenced by comic book story I had not thought of at all in years). I consider that the aliens are here to save humanity, even though I only see the spaceship briefly in a dream within a dream. Some of the others suggest that we need to go underground, though we remain on the first floor for a time.

My dream becomes more vivid and I am now in a distortion of the Loomis Street house, near the back door. A doll walks in from outside. It is about a foot high. It does not talk but makes clicking and humming noises as if to analyze a person’s status. A teddy bear also walks in as well as a stuffed elephant (with a floral print) walking on its back legs. They are all the same height.

In the final moments prior to waking, I consider that the friendly and helphful aliens are very shy, so they sent in these devices to make first contact and to study people for a time before taking the human race to another planet to ensure survival.

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The “alien” association is caused by the transient dream self not being correlated with the conscious self identity while in REM sleep (as the non-lucid dream self has neither viable contact with the unconscious, such as consistent memory of personal history, or the conscious self identity as in waking life, though most people do not have the ability to realize this at all, hence belief in nonsensical forms of “interpretation”). This is not quite as common as more mundane RAS correlation factors. This is resolved by the introduction of the dream state indicators, teddy bear (first-level dream state indicator) and doll (autosymbolism for the physical body being inactive in sleep - more specifically, my subliminal awareness of Zsuzsanna also being asleep). An elephant, the last “toy” to enter the room, is autosymbolism for the waking alert factor in this case, due to how it “trumpets” (initiating the return to waking consciousness). Once my fictitious dream self subliminally accepts the dream state indicators, RAS modulation begins the waking process. Additionally, this is also a form of doorway waking symbolism, as the “toys” walk in through the back door from outside. (There is no personified preconscious factor as the “toys” hold this role.)

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Morning of April 29, 2018. Sunday.



There are puzzling (impersonal) scenes of an unfamiliar golf course, which is a very rare dream setting for me. There is an unusual dragon, more like a traditional sea serpent in some ways, but quite unrealistic and never a threatening presence - almost cartoonish or of bad CGI. Corporeally, I find myself in an area where grapes are growing from vines within tree branches. I eventually find a pocket watch hanging by a chain from a low branch. An unfamiliar red-haired female of about thirty manifests as this dream’s preconscious, looking at me, possibly wondering what I am doing. I think I might take the watch as I think it might be mine, but I decide to leave it.

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I had no idea we would be watching a movie this evening featuring an unrealistic sea serpent and a scene where two men were digging in a golf course. This was “Nessie & Me” (2017) that our youngest daughter really wanted to watch tonight (and it was from the library; I did not even know about it). Seeing scenes from movies in dreams before actually seeing them seems a rather trivial and pointless mechanism (in contrast to me marrying my literal dream girl), but this has occurred all my life. It happens so often, I usually just roll my eyes at this stage of my life. It is probably more about the transpersonal interconsciousness rendering some dream content (rather than true prescience), as the movie technically often already exists (though not in every case like this) which I usually see on the same day after my dream. Zsuzsanna had not seen the movie, so the golf course scene did not come from her as far as I know.

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Morning of April 29, 2018. Sunday.



I am in a large featureless distortion of the Loomis Street house’s porch (about twice as big as it is in reality). My brother-in-law Bob is present. Curiously, I am also vaguely aware of my youngest son. (This is a typical distortion of random threads, as my son being present is the only thread relevant to my current conscious self identity.)

Eventually, I see (and subliminally will by way of RAS modulation anticipation) a snake crawling on the wall (in the manner of if it was actually the floor). I cannot be sure if it is venomous but Bob comes in to distract it.

However, three green snakes end up being present, one that Bob is battling near the center of the porch, one near Oliver (though not perceived as a threat) to the right, and one near me. I seem to be standing on the right arm of the armchair yet also standing on the floor. It is an unusual sense of bilocation. I move my legs around in order to deter the snake, still wondering if it might be venomous, but there is no dominating sense of threat or any actual fear (probably because I know it is the RAS modulation factor as the waking alert).

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This dream type is a form of vestibular system correlation, which occurs in countless unique forms but basically always means the same thing, that I am trying to discern the nature of my real physical body in growing closer to conscious self awareness. This is not the first time that snakes have occurred in correlation with this process, which is why they are on the wall rather than the floor at first.

I have not seen Bob since 1994 and have no idea of his present status. My son’s appearance in this case relates to a concern about his health, though it is not a major issue. Snakes sometimes relate to autosymbolism regarding the human intestine, especially in indigestion. Autosymbolism is often based on visual associations (such as a snake being associated with the human intestine), not words (as language skills are not even present in most levels of REM sleep).

As always, a porch is my most common liminal space autosymbolism since childhood, which indicates a specific level of unconsciousness between sleeping and waking and is unrelated to waking life (other than a porch representing liminal space in waking life as well, and you will find much dream autosymbolism is not very difficult to understand when eliminating the “interpretation” fallacy).

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Morning of April 29, 2018. Sunday.



In my surreal dream sequence, there is eventually a focus on the “Peanuts” comic strip. It is supposedly an anniversary of when the first strip was published. (This is incorrect, as in reality, October 2, 1950 is when the dailies started and it was January 6, 1952 for the Sunday strip.)

The detail eventually stabilizes on a stage that seems to be for a television show being broadcast live. The announcer says “Charlie Brown” vividly and clearly and extends his hand to the right, upturned for introduction. The “real” Charlie Brown walks out on stage and the audience looks on. It is a real man, but he is very old and has oversized ears, which are probably fake. He actually has the essence of a very old Charlie Brown in appearance (which is unusual as the comic strip character has hardly any facial detail, yet my dream includes a very precise essence somehow), but I consider it is mostly makeup to play the role.

There is a shift and the same scene repeats. After this, a similar scene occurs, though this time it is a very old and “real” Sally Brown sitting in a chair. The audience looks at her as she is interviewed. In the last scene, which is supposedly part of a movie that is showing a new “Peanuts” event, two anthropomorphic rats are standing near the back door of a building. Apparently, they are being married, though I see no other characters present at this time. The rat is named Roquefort, though in reality has nothing to do with Charlie Brown’s world (as far as I know). Roquefort eventually says how he is “impotent”. The female rat (I do not recall any name) says, “We’re British. We do not use that word.”

From here, there are detailed closeups of one of each rat’s ears (the right for the male and the left for the female). I see that while the male’s lobe is connected to his head, the female rat’s lobe is slightly raised, with a J-shaped groove. This seems to mean that Roquefort might change his mind about the wedding, but it is the girl rat that turns and walks off.

In hypnopompic disclosure (the preconscious and emergent consciousness correlation where the clear meaning of my dream surfaces), I realize the whole dream was triggered by the vestibular system correlation of the waking process, the stage being autosymbolism for “watching” the dream state (as well as a play on the “stage” of sleep). The rest was surreal nonsense of which I cannot even correlate with a media influence.

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Many of my dreams have autosymbolism for vestibular system correlation as the waking factor (in fact, an average of more than one dream per sleep cycle for over fifty years includes this biological process), though typically related to flight. (Vestibular system correlation is a common dream factor as the dream self cannot viably perceive the conscious self’s physical form in REM sleep.) It has astounded me since childhood that the same processes repeatedly being rendered are completely ignored in favor of “interpretation” simply because of their uniqueness each time. Perhaps in a thousand years, more people will begin to see what dreams actually are. Still, from the evidence I see in society, including most people that pretend to understand or “interpret” dreams, I very much doubt it.

Dreams, especially the preconscious transition, are not actually supposed to relate to waking life as they are meant to be a release of the conscious self identity (unless literally prescient or when overwhelming stress is literally borrowed by RAS modulation, the former being quite common for me, the latter very rare, and neither of those two factors requiring “interpretation" due to being literal), for the reason of contrast in the emergent consciousness activation, and they do not come from the unconscious or subconscious either. For example, the male talking rat using "impotent” (after a satisfying lovemaking session prior to sleep) and the female rat replying with “We’re British”. This is the opposite of anything in my waking life. (I do not even know anyone who is British or English in waking life, that is, where I actually live.)

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Morning of April 24, 2018. Tuesday.



In my dream, my family and I, mostly as we appear now (except for our youngest son’s beard), are living in an unusual expanded distortion of the King Street mansion (where I have not lived in real life for nearly thirty years). It is most like the second-floor room of the middle of the east side, though the room seems to take up the whole section in my dream, additionally replacing at least the northeast room. There is also another section that is oriented north, forming an inverted corner, implying that the building is either L-shaped or cross-shaped.

In two vivid scenes, it seems I am on the first floor of this building. I look diagonally across to the perpendicular section, at a second-floor window, where a strange dark cloud seems to be blown out from inside, which also seemingly contains at least a few particulates. I get the impression that it is an older woman who lives there who is emptying her vacuum cleaner by spewing the contents out into the air. I consider that this is not a very considerate act but I never see the person and I do not become angry.

In another scene, there are at least three people yelling at each other across the street, but I never see them or clearly discern what they are saying.

The main part of my dream concerns our youngest son. I see that he now has a very bushy thick beard which unrealistically curls upward. Despite how strange this seems, my dream self does not perceive it as a dream state indicator. I worry about him. Although he otherwise looks like our youngest son (other than the beard), he acts very differently. I tell him I will trim it down or shave it off but he does not want me to. Oddly, I mention how his beard is even thicker than our second-youngest son’s beard (who of course does not have a beard either, but this is yet another nonsensical error in my dream self’s thinking.)

Eventually, Zsuzsanna convinces him that it will be good to at least trim it down. When I see him later, I observe that it is shaved on one side but only closely trimmed on the other.

There is an additional scene that is the typical RAS modulation, where the preconscious, as an unknown businessman, points a box saw at my chest (the blade downward, only the front end touching me), but I am not concerned. He had been part of a group of people watching us through a window, which is modeled after my childhood room in Cubitis, though seemingly on a fictional second floor and from the south. (The settings in my dreams typically change ambiguously, never being rendered the same way twice in over fifty years and tens of thousands of closely studied dreams.) This is a non-lucid carryover from the lucid dream of yesterday, where I willed a different form of the preconscious to split in half (though I then “healed” it by willing the two body halves back together). Maybe someday people will understand that my dream’s content, when it is not prescient (or with the inexplicable “sent” factor) or dominated by RAS modulation, is mainly based on my focus and knowledge of the dream state itself (how could it not be) rather than waking life, but there seems to be a “wall” in the minds of most people that prevents them from understanding what a dream actually is (inclusive of most people who have published books about dreams).

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As I have written many times in past entries, at least one dream per sleep cycle is somehow influenced by what Zsuzsanna had seen or talked about (or in some cases only thought about) at another location the day before with no way of me knowing. This was going on long before we met, long before I learned my “dream girl” was a real person. Society, not having any intelligence at all when it comes to understanding dreams or the dream state, instead writing mindless tomes about “interpretation” (which completely ignores the dynamics of what a dream actually is) has neither viable answers to this mechanism nor an iota of credibility in general. There have been people who have studied this phenomenon and written about it to some extent, but just as with the truth of dreams in their basic form inherently being autosymbolic (not symbolic in the popular sense), society remains without any understanding of dreams.

In this case, Zsuzsanna had been with our youngest son yesterday and there was a conversation involving her brother George (here for a visit for the first time in months). They were at Zsuzsanna’s sister’s place and George was talking about a man with a very bushy beard. Often though, the correlating factors are more unusual.

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Morning of April 22, 2018. Sunday.



I am on the porch of the Loomis Street house in late morning. There is conversation relating to my oldest son. Zsuzsanna is present. I find a narrow cardboard box that is just large enough to hold a human forearm. Inside are two bones, both from human arms, but also deformed, with at least one or two miniature arm bones growing out of the first. This puzzles me, but I realize it is from when our son was being given human remains, as he is a doctor (not in real life) and this relates to his medical training and writing of essays. Apparently, a slow-witted woman had donated her son’s body to medical science after he died.

I go into the house (still the Loomis Street house). Looking out beyond the doorway of what should be the north bedroom is an outdoor setting instead. Our son is sitting near a corner of the house. Two unfamliar young people, male and female, walk about near one other unfamiliar person. Loud heavy metal music is playing. Our son begins to talk to me, but it is not him (though my dream self does not consider this). It is actually Johnny, a close friend from school days, who had said he wanted to be a doctor when he left school.

Eventually, my dream self becomes distracted and RAS mediation more fully kicks in. RAS is rendered as a brown bear that tries to come in from the front door to the porch (thus implying the typical doorway waking symbolism established when I was a toddler over fifty years ago). I am not scared (as I am likely subliminally aware of being asleep as with the majority of my dreams that are not viably lucid). Still, I do not want the brown bear getting into the house. I manage to close the door and keep it closed. (I have no focus on the doorway erroneously open to the outside from the north wall of the dining room.)

From here, I go to the back of the house, where another large brown bear sees me and runs away, just managing to squeeze through the back door, to close it behind him.

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Faux lucidity is implied due to the odd RAS mediation dynamics, though it is usually not related to liminal dream control as it seems to be here. The part with the arm bones was from lying on my arm to where it had become numb.

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Morning of April 21, 2018. Saturday.



In my dream, I am in the lounge room of the Stadcor Street house in Wavell Heights. It seems to be morning. I am near where the faux fireplace was in reality, though a two-tiered wooden shelf that covers this area of the wall replaces it. Additionally, it vaguely has an association with the chest in the lounge room of our present address, though does not physically resemble it.

I notice some VHS tapes on one shelf, but I soon notice an original (three by three) Rubik’s Cube. To its right is a smaller one. I pick up the smaller one to look at it. Even though it was also a three by three, it is now a three by six.

At this point, the preconscious is rendered to my right (the usual waking autosymbolism orientation). He is an unfamiliar light-haired male of about twenty. He seems cheerful and I do not see him as an intruder.

From here, I start to move parts of the Rubik’s Cube. The rendering is not physically possible. That is, there are mostly one by six rows that turn about fully without causing the cube to fall apart. Additionally, I impossibly turn the three by one rows and it all stays together. I make about four turns prior to waking.

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To explain this dream, a common RAS mediation factor of the dream state is: Thinking Skills Correlation (Consciousness Initiation), which is what this dream is. I am focused on a Rubik’s Cube (which relates to the thinking skills that the non-lucid dream self cannot possess, as unconscious access is not viable in the non-lucid dream state).

The preconscious is cheerful as I am subliminally aware of the dreaming and waking process and I do not contest it. The emergent consciousness factor, not fully correlated while still in the dream state, is the illusory (impossible) Rubik’s Cube.

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Morning of April 19, 2018. Thursday.



In my dream, I find myself standing near the center of the southwest bedroom of the Loomis Street house, facing north (toward the kitchen). It seems to be morning. My father, appearing as he was in the 1960s, comes into the room. I seem to be in the process of moving a few things around. I am also facing “my” bed, which is oriented along the north wall, west (head) to east. His presence annoys me, so I rudely ask, “What do you want?” He does not become angry or visibly annoyed but walks off into another room. I eventually see that he is going down the hallway into the bathroom.

It turns out that he had wanted to know where a band-aid was, as his right upper lip was injured. However, when I see him walking around in the kitchen, I do not discern any blood. It seems my mother might know where a band-aid is (though I do not see her at any point), so I go back to “my” room. My dream fades without incident.

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Rule: Beds and other obvious first-level dream state indicators occur in at least one dream per sleep cycle. I do not technically typify this as autosymbolism, as it is a literal subliminal awareness of being asleep.

Detail: I find myself standing on the right side of a single bed in a fictitious location at the beginning of my dream.

Rule: A dream’s setting, either lucid or non-lucid, cannot match a real setting. The obvious neurological reason is to prevent false memories and erroneous associations with current waking life.

Detail: The main setting of this dream is the Loomis Street southwest bedroom (Wisconsin), where I have not lived since February 1994. The secondary setting, rendered in my dream as southeast of the main setting, is an erroneous link to the Cubitis house’s hallway and bathroom at the end of the hallway (Florida), where I have not lived since the summer of 1978. The final location is the kitchen of our present home (Australia) rather than the Loomis Street kitchen that would otherwise be immediately north and adjacent to the main setting. This is a new unique composite, continuing the rule of no two settings ever being the same in my dreams. My subconscious self does not notice this error at all.

Rule: A non-lucid dream cannot correctly model the current conscious self for a number of reasons. One reason is to prevent false memories and erroneous associations with current waking life. Autosymbolism that represents liminal space (the dream state and precursory waking space itself) and more so, liminal space dividers (the metaphorical barrier between fictitious dream self and current conscious self identity), confirms this factor. Preconscious access to threads of the unconscious mind is not of the nature most people claim. My dream self (subconscious self) is without viable memory of either the unconscious or the conscious self, and additionally, has no viable discernment of time, space, or sustained coherency in language. Otherwise, synaptic gating would build false memories and false associations.

Detail: My (non-lucid) subconscious self (which is always unique in each dream, just as settings are) has no memory that my father died in 1979. It has no realization of the erroneous setting or its typical hodgepodge nature. There are no threads of my current conscious self status. My perceived age in my dream seems around thirty years younger than I am. Additionally, there was never a bed in the southwest Loomis Street bedroom.

Rule: The main event in a dream is the waking alert factor (WAF), autosymbolism based on RAS mediation (or modulation depending on the dream state depth), a biological factor of the dream state itself. This is for reestablishing conscious self identity in the waking transition. RAS mediation will utilize everything from a present association or conflict to features or events long since forgotten and irrelevant, and the dynamic‘s foundation is always literal despite being borrowed as waking alert factor autosymbolism.

Detail: My father in present dreams is typically an emergent consciousness factor that represents my conscious self identity. One, I have mild soreness in the upper right area of my mouth from the loss of a tooth (though with no bleeding). However, there is also a very old association utilized as the waking alert autosymbolism. Many years ago, when I was twelve years old, this was the only occasion when I felt annoyed by my father’s presence. He was grinning and looking through my open jalousie windows into my room. I walked over and was ready to pull the curtains down (without saying anything) when I realized there were two very large new illustrated dictionaries on my desk, which he had bought for me and placed in my room earlier that morning.

So how does this relate to RAS mediation borrowing the event? Books and reading are a conscious self factor, as only the conscious self in waking life is intelligent enough to sustain reading while understanding written language (as text in dreams typically changes when looking back at it and often becomes gibberish), thus this was a trigger to begin consciousness activation despite the association being from childhood.

Rule: Typically, there is at least one thread in a dream in each sleep cycle that originates in Zsuzsanna’s mind, but most often based on thoughts she had elsewhere, not when at home. (Do not ask me how this is possible, it just is.)

Detail: While out shopping, Zsuzsanna was thinking of buying band-aids yesterday, but she did not (and she did not tell me about it, either).

Rule: Waking autosymbolism usually initiates on my dream self’s right (when I sleep on my left side, which is less exposed to my real environment).

Detail: In this dream, my father approaches me on my right and later goes into the kitchen, which relays subliminal awareness of mild hunger. Additionally, my dream begins with me standing near the right side of the bed (the side I sleep on in reality), although this dream is certainly not a false awakening.

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Morning of April 18, 2018. Wednesday.



In my dream, I am once again back in a version of Cubitis (where I have not lived in real life since 1978). There is little that correlates with my conscious self identity, even in the last segment (other than remembering I am married to Zsuzsanna). However, I do not feel like a teenager (as I left Cubitis when I was 17). My implied age is probably at least thirty.

It is night and dark out, though I can still make out some detail. I mostly focus on the setting oriented southerly.

The surrounding area of the Cubitis house is similar to how it was in waking life, but changes in the last Cubitis-related scenario, before shifting into an unrelated offset dream.

There is a Cessna that flies south, above the house on at least two occasions. My dream self maintains the usual (since childhood) unemotional anticipation that the airplane will probably crash. (This is a result of the dream state itself, that is, the natural vestibular system ambiguity that occurs as a result of not viably discerning the physical body in REM sleep, and as a result, this common factor projects into autosymbolism relating to flying and falling and so on.)

Not to my surprise at all, the Cessna crashes in the distance, just past several houses to the south. From here, I and a few other people, all unfamiliar and unknown, walk southerly to investigate.

After seeing some vague distorted imagery of the airplane crash site that was originally beyond at least five or six houses from “my” house, RAS mediation kicks in more viably, and I and the others are suddenly now in the southwest bedroom of the Cubitis house (dream state indicator, representing my subliminal, that is, non-lucid, awareness of being asleep in bed). I do not consider the impossible scene change. Now, the Cessna had crashed just beyond the windows of the southwest bedroom (despite the original implication).

We are looking out the windows to the south (in what would otherwise have been the side yard between this house and the neighbors’, though there are no discernible houses past this point in my dream) and I see that the small airplane had apparently crashed into a car carrier, ending up between the cab and a now upside-down pickup truck which faces the windows and is atop the airplane. I consider how it had just missed “my” house (again, despite the same faraway event as originally rendered). Additionally, the airplane is right-side up, yet also facing the windows, which makes no sense as it is implied the Cessna had crashed in between the cab and pickup truck atop the car carrier, so technically should be facing away from the windows. I try to see if the pilot is present anywhere, but I do not see him.

I talk about the accident, but an unfamiliar girl disagrees with me on how it happened. This does not set about enough RAS modulation (as I do not become annoyed), and as a result, rather than waking, my dream shifts into another odd scenario (though not a false awakening).

I am in a public place, though this is ambiguous, as it eventually seems to be implied as a room in a private residence. My mother is walking around (and my dream self has no memory of her death in waking life). There are a few bags around which apparently belong to my mother. Some bags contain several unusual clothes, others have small pieces of cloth. There is the idea of sewing random pieces of cloth on some of the clothes. Zsuzsanna is now present and my conscious self identity begins to emerge during the final waking stage.

The final event relates to me picking up a very colorful and bizarre pair of pants. It features a sketchy human couple, male and female, on each leg, integrated into a complex heraldic shield. There is a floral motif down each leg. I then start to hear a song, where a male is singing about “the girl wearing pants with pants about her pants”, the second “pants” referring to heavy breathing.

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Morning of April 17, 2018. Tuesday.

Dream #: 18,747-02. Reading (optimized): 1 min.



I live in an unfamiliar home. I recall having a wife, but she is unlike Zsuzsanna. She smokes a cigarette while seated in an armchair. At first, I do not think of it as wrong, but after several minutes I realize I do not want to be around a smoker. (If the woman is meant to be Zsuzsanna, my dream self does not recall she would never smoke).

I involuntarily throw a small spherical object (possibly a ball bearing) at her cigarette when it is near her mouth. Its burning tip is knocked off. It bounces and rolls across the floor, several feet from where she was sitting. In the unlit room, the appearance of the ember’s movements is vivid and realistic in its distance orientation. The event vivifies my dream. I am puzzled. I ask her when she started smoking (but wake before receiving an answer). I think she might have started yesterday. Before this, I do not recall ever seeing her smoke.

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The content was mainly a result of literal integration with enigmatic space, though fire often vivifies a dream as a result of the cortical arousal of waking.

Zsuzsanna was in her sister’s new home the previous day. She saw a large painting by her sister (recently put up) of a woman smoking. I had not known this before my dream.

It is crucial to understand enigmatic space is not solely a result of dreaming but of co-occurrence with monitoring processes as with noise altering or creating dream content.

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Morning of April 16, 2018. Monday.



(When water induction subsides and my non-lucid dream self is left wandering in liminal space, subliminally attempting to gather threads of my conscious self identity in the waking transition.)

My dream starts out on a public beach, yet at no point am I aware of the ocean. Apparently, Zsuzsanna and our children as they appear now are present, but I am eventually most aware of our youngest son being nearby.

I come to understand that many children had lost their toys in the long stretch of beach sand. Here and there, I dig and I find mostly Lego; a lot of small bricks and a large one at times. I know that our youngest son will want some of them. There are also other parts found from older Lego kits, including plastic Lego figures. The sensation of digging with my hands is very realistic and vivid.

(When my non-lucid dream self is still wandering about in liminal space and reaches an autosymbolic form relating to neural gating and the subliminal enigma of being between sleeping and waking.)

I eventually reach a small square area on the beach that looks like some sort of ambiguous utility structure. It is somewhat like a small transformer station. Inside, on the ground, though there are a couple very small concrete partial floor sections, there are a few Lego platforms that have simple maze features and look as if they were designed to make a miniature maze by putting the platforms together as well as add separate smaller features over the connected platforms. These other pieces are mostly flat, but with sparse raised patterns (though raised less that a quarter of an inch) that imply part of a simple maze. I consider that our youngest son might enjoy them and I take them to put aside as well. I have a large plastic bag to put all the pieces in.

(When atypical neural gating closes off more of my conscious self identity after being at this structure, the maze implying the potential return to dreamless sleep in this case, as I have not yet begun waking ascension.)

Without paying any attention to the change of setting, I am soon digging in the wooden floor, though which is still somewhat like digging in beach sand, of the hall of the second storey of the King Street boarding house (where I have not lived since 1990), rendered as having a searchable essence as in a number of other recent dreams. At this point, even though my current conscious self identity was mostly extant at the beginning of my dream, I am now slipping back into a reversed timeline, where I do not realize I am in the “wrong” setting - and my current conscious self’s memory is now far less viable. Instead of Lego, which is autosymbolism for gathering and constructing my thoughts and identity, and to remember I have a young son, I lose that focus entirely and am now finding stones of an interesting appearance.

Leonard S comes up to see me, though remains at the opposite end of the hall. He seems cheerful and is going to get some additional stones from downstairs. Meanwhile, the King Street landlady comes up to see what is going on and seems somewhat annoyed. She remains standing at the opposite end of the hall from me as well.

(When my dream again subliminally focuses on the waking goal, and fails to initiate conscious self identity.)

Eventually, I find a large magnetic object near a fictional window on my end of the hall. (In real life, there was not a window in this location, my dream falsely implying the end of that area of the house, but the door to Leonard’s room as well as a smaller hall perpendicularly leading to the right and the left open to a staircase to the downstairs area.) It is not a stone but some sort of unusual ovular (though irregular) magnetic object with at least three large flat magnets arranged around its surface. They are somewhat like oversized refrigerator magnets. Each magnet features a scene from “101 Dalmatians” from 1961. One magnet features dalmatians, including Pongo and Perdita, the others, the human cartoon characters Roger and Anita.

A similar object is nearby. I consider that the objects are meant to be placed together. However, when I touch them together all the flat magnets fall off from each. I start talking about this event to an unfamiliar cheerful male who is now suddenly sitting in the window. I try it again, after placing the magnets back on, but they fall off again. I am trying to understand if this is “right” or not, but the unlikely scene and erroneous magnetism does not trigger lucid awareness.

The personified preconscious atypically takes on the essence of reinduction (as with the personified unconscious but of which is most often female) and sits in a low-set window rather than standing by or within a doorway, its usual habitat. The magnets did not continue to stick when the two objects were joined, being autosymbolic of the failure of the conscious self to fully initiate (the window otherwise implying the potential exit point for this dream).

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To summarize dream specifics: Water (no longer present in this atypical dream sequence) subsiding from liminal space as the very common (since early childhood) tidal analogy of waking autosymbolism. Seeking to gather current waking life identity. Small transformer station as autosymbolism for RAS (Reticular Activating System). My dream self finds curiosity in the maze-like neural gating potential of the dream state and becomes distracted. Trading one liminal space for another (beach to hall). Personification of neural gating at dream’s outcome, which very atypically represents reinduction rather than waking.

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