non-lucid

Morning of April 15, 2018. Sunday.



This was the first time where four of my dreams in a row, at least in recent memory, carried the same vague storyline continuity, probably because I not only went to sleep earlier than usual but slept later than usual. It is mainly a dream about studying the factors and components of the dream state itself, though this has been a very common theme in my dreams since early childhood.

In my first dream, I am thinking about the nature of the WAF (waking alert factor), the primary biological function of which sometimes results in a snake being rendered as a result of RAS modulation (the key dynamic). I am on our bed, though our house is rendered incorrectly (to prevent waking life associations). I deliberately sustain the dynamics of my dream (only in semi-lucidity, which is neither viable lucidity nor apex lucidity) and watch two snakes. The first is mostly off the bed and is black, eventually ending up on the floor. A second, a yellow one, is moving behind the other, though it is not implied that one is following the other. I recognize that the one on the floor being black is a reference to deeper sleep in this case. The yellow one is of a level of consciousness closer to the emergent consciousness factor and more rapid RAS modulation. My semi-lucidity holds what otherwise serves as the WAF and I even point it out to Zsuzsanna, who is walking around in our kitchen. (This is similar to past in-dream experiments relating to snakes.) I rewind and reset my dream, and the crawling snake event repeats, so I can study it more and determine at what point the shift in unconsciousness occurs. I notice a slight difference in awareness when the last 25 percent of the black snake’s tail is still on the bed (in moving to the left, to the side of the bed) and the yellow snake is about 75 percent on the bed (coming from my right). I fail to remember that moving to the left is also of the nature of dream state reinduction or in some cases, moving back into dreamless sleep states, depending on circadian rhythms dynamics.

I allow myself to fall back into deeper sleep without waking. From here, a new dream begins, which relates to a futuristic science-fiction scenario. I am no longer of any degree of lucidity other than faux lucidity at some points.

An unfamiliar man is driving a cargo truck. I am aware that it is carrying snakes for a carnival. I remain near a weigh station as it stops and eventually drives on over a bridge over part of the ocean. Eventually, there is news that the cargo truck was destroyed, driver and all, by some sort of beam directed by a government satellite. I watch the event on a computer monitor. I watch the wide yellow beam come down to dissolve the truck. I realize that there may have been another reason for this event. Perhaps it was related to either a mistake made by the people running the security system or because the man knew too much about government operations.

I shift into faux lucidity and try to expose this government conspiracy (which is related to non-lucid RAS mediation, inherent to the dream state, not waking life). Bruce Willis and some other people are listening to my description of the events. The man was believed to have been carrying unauthorized nuclear weapons. I am somewhat puzzled, as I remember that both snakes and nuclear weapons are key factors of RAS modulation while in the dream state. However, as I am not viably lucid, my mind sustains my dream non-lucidly. I go back to the weigh station, which is now more like a store’s checkout (typical autosymbolism for the last scene and exit point of a dream) and pick up the severed head of a green snake as well as a piece of its body. I show them to the other people as evidence of a government conspiracy. Again, the man was not carrying unauthorized nuclear weapons, but snakes for a carnival. At least one had left the truck when it stopped at the weigh station. At the same time, my dream self also realizes that I am making up the whole scenario and that I have no idea what the man had actually been transporting. Still, I enjoy the concept of writing such stories.

In my next dream, there is still some memory of my previous two dreams. There is confusion about picking something up in a restaurant and something to do with my yellow notepad (without a cover) of which I had been writing results of my dream experiments for the last month or so. I find several notepads as well as being given one by an unfamiliar female who works at the restaurant counter and had come outside to talk to me, but none of them are mine. Some of the notepads are only half the length of a real one (which is autosymbolic of my conscious self identity not being fully extant in the dream state). Some of the notepads have writing, but it is not mine.

I walk into the restaurant. My notepad related to dreams, which I now have automatically (though there are still missing pages implied), also has what are supposed to be “real” notes about the previous events and the evidence the cargo truck had only snakes. I now become aware that I had been hiding from those who had apparently destroyed the cargo truck in my second dream of this sequence. James Franco is sitting at a round wooden table. I tell him not to talk to anyone about me or the event from my previous dream. “But why are you hiding?” he asks me cheerfully, “You are famous”. I realize that he is implying that there are too many people who know about the truth for the government to target only me. However, I then consider that the majority of people in the general public are completely oblivious to any semblance of truth. I vaguely remember that virtually no one in the general public has any understanding of the dream state or of dream meanings (a view I hold in real life), regardless of endless popular falsehoods. This is confirmed by seeing one unfamiliar girl trying to “interpret” her dream (writing in a yellow notepad) at another table. I become so annoyed, I briefly wake, though while allowing myself to sleep for another half hour or so. (My preconscious, James Franco in this case, being cheerful and not with any conflict, was a precursor to this choice, as there is only conflict by way of RAS mediation as such in the final dream of a sleep cycle to initiate the waking alert factor). During this dream segment, there was also a clear focus on government satellites, of which could direct a weapon at anyone in the world. (I am only vaguely aware it is a direct reference to RAS modulation in ending the fictitious dream self identity during the waking transition. In fact, the cargo truck’s destruction is even called “RAS modulation” via satellite in my dream.)

From here, in the fourth dream, I am near a two-storey building of which is implied to be a girl’s school in England and otherwise looks much like the Victorian School of Art and Science at Stroud, Gloucestershire. The girls, including the ones on the second floor, each walk out from a different window and walk about and hover in the air before returning to their bed each time. I am apparently looking for a girl who knows what the dream state is, as that would be the only sensible goal of coalescence. (Why coalesce or even communicate with ignorance?) In reality, a dream is primarily a state of unconsciousness of which the Moro reflex in infancy evolved. Each has a yellow notepad (though they do not carry it with them), and one is the same unfamiliar girl as from the prior dream. No one seems to know this. Each girl is dressed in a very similar manner, in mostly what looks to be a Victorian costume, which seems to be part of some sort of theme day. In summoning this essence, I vaguely understand that I am merely recognizing public ignorance of dreams, which typically always “looks the same” and of which is very outdated.

Part of my dream self’s focus and features in these dreams came from major distortions of “Pay It Forward” (2000) and “Oz the Great and Powerful” (2013), which Zsuzsanna and I had watched several hours previously.

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Morning of April 9, 2018. Monday.



My family and I as we appear now are living in Cubitis (where I have not lived since 1978; Zsuzsanna and our children have never been to America). However, the house’s essence is like our present home in real life. For example, the ceiling is similar to our present one in being narrow boards rather than white tiles. Marilyn (older half-sister on my mother’s side, died 2014) appears as she did in the 1960s (when we lived on Rose Street).

In the first part of my dream, there is unfamiliar furniture in most of the rooms. I notice that a number of black and white photographs are on the floor, many of which are from the 1960s and feature my father and his other sons (my half-brothers). There is a lot of clutter in one area. This dream has an unusual offset dream of which returns to my original awareness in the first dream. It is something about one of my brothers (on my father’s side) wearing an iron mask, but it is more like a fictional scene from “The Man in the Iron Mask” (the 1998 movie) as regarding events from the 1970s involving his wife. The reason behind this (which I am not aware of in my dream) is the similarity of names, Leonard (my brother) and Leonardo (DiCaprio, the actor). Ultimately, this is just my dream making random false associations as is very often the case. This part reminds me somewhat of the Stadcor Street house before returning to the Cubitis living room.

Marilyn is looking out the east windows of the living room. It seems to be late afternoon. She says, “The weather is getting really strange today.”

I notice a tornado that is oriented horizontally in the sky and consider that it will move over the house just enough to possibly do some minor damage.

When I go to the doorway of my Cubitis bedroom (on the opposite side of the house), I see part of the ceiling being torn off, more to my right. This makes no sense, because as I watch a section of the ceiling being lifted into the air and moving away to the west, into the sky, I also see that most of the tin roof is still present (of which had been above the ceiling and fairly close over it). I have a vague concern about the photographs becoming wet, but there is no rain yet. I also do not notice that the overall appearance of the room is completely different than from the first part of my dream.

Orchestral music, as if from the ending of a movie, begins to play. (Curiously, this has happened in a number of my dreams, usually only during the last scene.) It fills the environment but I do not consider it as unusual or needing a source.

“Make sure you keep Baby (our youngest daughter) close to you,” I advise Zsuzsanna and wake after saying this.

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Morning of April 6, 2018. Friday.



This morning, I had a very long series of dream sequences, where nearly everywhere I have lived in my life thus far appeared in one form or another, including several fictional distortions. As usual, each setting was a unique new version. (Out of tens of thousands of dreams studied for over fifty years, no setting has ever appeared more than once in the same way, typically being unique combinations of two or more locations.)

As the sequences were so long and convoluted, I will only focus on certain sections in this entry. (Otherwise it would be far too long, and my entries are often very long as it is.)

The house setting throughout my main dream seems to be a combination of Cubitis (where I have not lived since 1978), the Loomis Street house (where I have not lived since 1994), the King Street mansion (where I lived at different times up until 1993), and the house Zsuzsanna and I and our family presently live; all this and some fictional alterations as is always the case. Additionally, the house setting does not match the location in some scenes and ambiguously varies between Florida, Wisconsin, and Queensland, Australia (which is also typical).

In one scene, the setting seems most like the Cubitis house even though it is implied to be our present address in Australia. Our youngest son is crying and is angry about some sort of robotic toys that are not responding to being shot in the way that had been programmed. I am aware that he had left them at the south end of the Cubitis hall (while the room to our right is like the lounge room of our present home). I tell him that it does not matter, that they are “just toys” and that toys cannot really be heroes. I hold him close and we hug and he says that I am his hero.

In a later scene, I go outside and it mostly seems like the Cubitis backyard. An unfamiliar young girl is present and sitting in high grass with our youngest daughter and youngest son. Looking back at the back of the house, the rendering is incorrect (though my dream self does not regard it as wrong). The area external to where the kitchenette would have been is now implied to be a back porch that I am aware is out from my mother’s room (though as from the Loomis Street house). (The back porch was actually at the south end of the Cubitis house facing the south side yard and the north end our neighbor’s house, though their back porch faced east into their backyard.)

There are at least three unfamiliar people seated on the portico (at least two males and a female), near the window to my mother’s room. (The portico is an unfamiliar fictitious feature.) It takes me some time to realize they are trespassing. Finally, even though they might be our neighbors, I decide to yell at them and tell them they should not be here. “The little woman said we could sit here,” one of males says. I consider that they are trying to imply my mother told them they could sit by her window, which I know is something she would never have said.

I again tell them to leave. They become annoyed and start acting very strangely, and wander quickly about as if they are unsure where they are going. Soon, there are two unfamiliar male police officers present. The unwelcome people go into the house next door. Soon after this, water starts spraying out from the eaves. This causes the police officers to start laughing. The water continues to spray from the house as if it is meant to be an attack, yet has the opposite effect. As the water sprays on me for a time (as well as the officers), I feel more relaxed and cheerful than I had been minutes before.

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Water in my dreams has been a form of dream state induction for over fifty years in representing the essence of sleep, the absence of emotion and waking life focus (as in sensory deprivation tank experiments), and resulting in physical relaxation. Some “interpreters” claim that water “represents emotions” (which might be related to crying, I suspect, though crying is the release of emotions, not the maintaining or augmenting of them). Which emotions? In what way? To what extent? Aside from that, virtually countless commercial recordings use the sound of water, from the roaring ocean, waterfalls, rivers, and so on, to induce sleep or relaxation. Negative dreams relating to water, such as tidal waves or floods are more likely to be a RAS factor that tries to induce sleep when other factors, such as circadian rhythms dynamics, are in conflict. After all, a person is asleep when they are dreaming, not extant in waking life, yet most people do not seem to understand this at all. In some cases, a flood or tidal wave may relate to subliminal concern about being too deeply asleep, which may trigger waking from the emergent conscious side rather than raw RAS. The supposed evidence, more so of the Barnum effect, associated with “water representing emotions” is actually the opposite. If a person is overly emotional in real life, the water might be rendered to calm them down and enter more deeply into the essence of sleep, and some people fear deeper sleep or even relaxation. Drowning on the other hand, would usually relate to incidental sleep apnea or snoring (and one can dream and snore at the same time despite popular myth), which is a biological factor of sleep, not waking life (though many people seem to have zero understanding of the biological and neurological factors of the dream state). Ultimately, when water splashes on me in my dreams, it vivifies my dream and sustains it, causing physical release and relaxation, the opposite of increasing emotions or as a WAF (waking alert factor). Water also represents healing and biological purification (after all, a large percentage of the human body is water - and water is life), but more so as the autosymbolic analogy to the healing nature of sleep and the absence of negative emotions, thus a tidal wave or flood might indicate a sudden increase in glymphatic system function.

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Morning of April 2, 2018. Monday.



This dream renders a unique setting as always, a setting that has never featured in this specific way in any previous dream, which is a process to prevent associations with waking life to prevent false memory. In this case, it is primarily the Stadcor Street house in Brisbane (where we have not lived in years). However, upon seeing Zsuzsanna in the final segment, it is like the northeast room of the King Street mansion, where I have not been since the 1990s (and where Zsuzsanna has never been, never having been to America). Even so, it is on the opposite side of where the Stadcor Street bedroom actually was in respect to my dream’s layout. Additionally, my current conscious self identity is only partly extant.

I go to look in the backyard for some reason. It seems to be late morning. I am aware that an unusual wind from the east (my right in my dream’s view) has brought a lot of fine white sand into our backyard. There are many shallow recesses in the yard that contain this fine white sand. I start to consider how unusual a feature this is. I study the area for several minutes. Looking off to my left, just beyond the driveway, I see a low embankment. Two very large turnip plants are growing. Only one has a visible turnip slightly above the ground. I consider if I should pull them up, as they seem fully grown, but I start to focus on the main backyard again.

I notice an area of ground to my left where I realize the whiteness of the sand in that part of the yard may be caused by sunbeams. The area has a silvery glow. Still, the other areas really do contain the unusual fine sand. I decide to go into the house to tell Zsuzsanna about it and to describe the unusual wind that brought the sand into our backyard.

When in the bedroom, I see Zsuzsanna sitting on the bed, facing me as I stand nearby. The closet of the northeast King Street mansion bedroom is visible near the end of the bed (though I am uncertain of whether it is the head or foot of the bed). As I stand, looking into the closet, I notice a very large slug crawling slowly up the wall. Its view is partly blocked for a time. I watch its optical and sensory tentacles move about. I continue to gaze at it as I also pull a snail from my right arm that had somehow also gotten stuck on my shirt sleeve, somehow making the shirt sleeve also stick to me. This event is distorted, as the shirt seems to have been hanging on a hook on the wall, with me not wearing it at the time and yet somehow also wearing it at the same time (a typical dream event that is impossible to resolve in conscious afterthought).

There is a brief offset dream where I go back to the backyard and discover that the ground is now only with normal-colored dirt in the recesses. I am somewhat puzzled. I consider how short a time period that the event must have taken place for no traces of the other sand to remain.

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This is a sustained dream segment that is otherwise based on water lowering waking symbolism from an earlier dream. A short time ago, I happened to read the following: “Dreaming of sand may represent the border between the conscious (beach/land) and unconscious (ocean/water) minds.” I found this astounding because it is extremely rare to read anything about dreams from any public source that has an iota of truth on any level. However, it is more about the liminal space between dream self and conscious self, unrelated to waking life itself.

This dream mostly centers around sleep recognition waking symbolism, which is somewhat of a misnomer as the inference is literal, not symbolic, and based on a subliminal realization that I am actually in bed and asleep. Obviously, the bed confirms this. Additionally, the turnips are autosymbolism for Zsuzsanna and I sleeping. Additionally, the snail and the slug are associated with moving slowly, a play on being sluggish or asleep. The confusion with the shirt relates to the fact that I am not dressed when I sleep.

Once again, this dream had a prescient thread as many of my dreams do at one point or another (sometimes covering many years in advance which is inherently unfathomable), which is sometimes very frustrating as it often serves no useful purpose other than to convince me that most human minds work in a completely different way than mine. Another poster on the Dreamscloud website had posted an image of a slug (the image repeated three times) just before I was finishing this entry, despite the recognized autosymbolism of a slug representing vague threads of my conscious self identity (in being mostly inactive) in REM sleep.

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Morning of April 1, 2018. Sunday.



I am uncertain of my dream’s location. Settings are always different even when modeled after real-life places I have lived, though there is a vague essence of the northeast area of the Cubitis living room (where I have not been since 1978). However, it also feels like a variation of our present address, seemingly the dining room, which we use as our bedroom, though in this case, it could be a subliminal infusion of where my physical body is in reality as I sleep.

There is a website (name unknown) where I had a musical album stored for a month or two. I am listening with headphones. There is a large photograph of a rocket launch on the wall, which is implied to represent the cover art for the song (or possibly the whole album). It is to the right of my view. Additionally, there is another monitor, more to the center of my view, which displays the website’s main page. Although the rocket in the image looks realistic, much of the background appears somewhat like an oil painting, with uneven patches of darker and lighter blue.

In contrast, the setup to listen to my music is on the opposite side of the monitors. I listen to the beginning of my song and hear only two sustained mid-range notes as the supposed introduction. Apparently, the website has a rating system for different songs, but this is only a vague thought. I am aware of a Giorgio Moroder influence on all the tracks (and yet I do not pick up on the dream state indicator of his song “Together in Electric Dreams”, a trait of my non-lucid dream self that suggests exclusive synaptic gating even when obvious dream state indicators are otherwise rendered).

There is a time period where I watch a short movie that represents one of my songs, which seems based on some sort of odd science-fiction story about “howling”. A large spaceship (reminding me of the 1978 Battlestar Galactica in overall shape) with lots of satellite dishes on top is approaching another planet. There are satellite dishes everywhere on the planet. This is what the “howling” is related to, that is, the satellite dishes “howling” at each other, the backstory and reason unknown.

Over time, the sound is not loud enough and sometimes drops out. I move the left side headphone connection somewhat, and the wire just falls out. This makes me very annoyed. I take off my headphones and notice an apparent previous attempt to fix the other side. There is a small mess of entangled and looped copper wire on the right side. I talk about throwing out my headphones, saying, “even though they cost a hundred dollars” (which is incorrect as they actually cost over four hundred dollars in reality).

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The headphones are related to the subliminal awareness of being unconscious and not fully discerning real-life environmental noises. The headphone wire coming out of the left side is precursory to hearing less illusory dream-rendered audio (as waking-oriented autosymbolism is usually directed to my dream self’s right if I am sleeping on my left side).

The rocket launch image is typical autosymbolism for the emergence of my conscious self identity as the waking precursor as well as the energy of my real physical body, which the dream self is otherwise primarily unaware of in unconsciousness. (Virtually all vehicles in dreams; cars, boats, airplanes, rockets, and so on; subliminally represent the specific essence of the physical body and specific association with physical dynamics, each vehicle depending on the level of awareness in unconsciousness, and dreamers who pay any attention at all will easily realize this fact even without the level of disclosure I have in understanding auto-scripting and receiving hypnopompic disclosure. Ultimately, this is a no-brainer, as the word “vehicle” itself is used to mean the physical body.)

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Morning of March 31, 2018. Saturday.



My final dream of today’s date goes into the typical meandering sequences that involve sustained diverse random autosymbolism of which are too numerous to have any cohesion. (This is similar to when dream characters change identity more than once per second, cycling through hundreds of different identities and appearances in a short time.) However, I eventually find my dream stabilizing (though I do not become viably lucid, only subliminally lucid).

As I walk in an unknown region and I feel that I am somehow in the distant future (and yet there is no implication of time travel), I notice a few structures to my left (dream-oriented side). These structures are of a few different sizes, though resemble boxcars with one side missing. They are elevated by about three feet. The open areas face the footpath. There are people inside them. In one case, with a larger structure, it seems there at least twenty people both seated and standing in a three-tiered arrangement, which reminds me of a class photograph from the 1960s. The imagery is pale and gray and I cannot tell if they are all dressed or not or wearing pale pajamas or long johns. (Of course, this is a dream state indicator that reflects the subliminal awareness that I am not dressed as I am sleeping in bed.)

I lift my right hand and direct a light that spreads out over the ground in front of the structure. Various objects begin to appear over a wide area (at least ten feet square), mostly combinations of food items, mainly canned food in sets of two and three, and small toys, such as groups of five small felt dolls with each one being bigger than the previous. I maintain my focus until the area is mostly covered.

Some of the people leave the structure and seem grateful to me. I then direct the light to create a pile of documents farther back from the structure, one for each person, and tell them that money and food can be attained through the use of these documents. “They are real,” I tell them.

My mother eventually appears, mostly to my right (waking-orientation autosymbolism) though she is not actually my mother but a thin woman of about forty who eventually seems to have a medical problem relating to her throat and neck (possibly a subliminal association with incidental sleep apnea, which is very rare for me). However, my dream meanders and changes from this point.

From here, an unknown young male appears. He reminds me of a young version of Leonard from the King Street mansion (who I have not seen in real life since the beginning of 1994). At this point, the typical indoor outdoor ambiguity dominates the nature of the setting. The setting is now mostly implied to be on the surface of the ocean, though there is a partial floor to my right (subliminal waking-orientation side, as I sleep on my left side). I am now sitting in an armchair. I ask the male what he wants. He apparently wants a certain kind of potato chips that are no longer made.

I wave my right hand horizontally and manifest a container with potato chips in it (on the floor to my right). These are not the ones he wants, though he tastes a couple. He is looking for a discontinued brand of potato chips called “Widgets”. I mentally make another container, this time a small commercial bag, and they seem to be the right ones. They are oddly shaped, somewhat like a figure eight, with two chips connected end to end. They have a dark red powder which may be implied to be barbecue flavor. He seems grateful but now also wants a pizza. I wave my hand towards the floor to my right and then pick up a pizza to give him. I tell him that the price of everything I had given him is four dollars and he pays me with two Australian two-dollar coins. (The Australian coins are the only thread of my current conscious self identity. Otherwise, there is no memory of my real life at all.)

He turns to walk off and I notice he is walking on the water. I reason that the white fishing boots he is wearing have an advanced technology that allows him to do this. He reaches over to his right and picks up a long stringer of fish from an odd structure that resembles a bicycle parking rack and continues to walk. I notice that there is a large largemouth bass at the bottom of the stringer (where there are at least six or seven smaller fish above it) and compliment him on the fish he caught.

From here, he goes to a Wendy’s to order more food (which is off to his left). The restaurant has the look of a Wendy’s inside a shopping mall and is somehow solid upon the ocean’s surface. I notice the beautiful blue sky above and beyond. I remain seated in my armchair that is floating on the ocean until I slowly wake.

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This is a variation of what would otherwise be the very common water lowering waking symbolism (a repeating dream component for over fifty years) in this particular stage of sleep. Although RAS mediation had rendered the awareness of waking life by way of the implied partial floor on my right, there is no defined transition typically relating to the waking start or a quicker transition from dream self to conscious self. Water is autosymbolism for the essence of sleep, physical release, and the absence of emotion. The personified preconscious walking on the water is autosymbolism for a very passive and peaceful waking transition. The large bass is the emergent consciousness factor and represents the dynamics of my mind emerging from sleep, the autosymbolism of which has occurred in thousands of previous dreams since childhood.

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Morning of March 27, 2018. Tuesday.



I am in Cubitis, but my old home is gone. On one level, it feels somewhat strange for me to be there and see the flat ground extending over what used to be a living area. Still, my dream becomes so abstract, only the basics can be relayed in text. The orange grove is still present. (In real life, the house is still there, but the orange grove is gone, thus this dream is of opposite implications.)

There is the common ambiguous awareness of being indoors and outdoors at the same time (even though the house or its carport is not yet present).

A backstory begins to form. An unfamiliar elderly lady is going to live in a new house where mine used to be. I decide that I will build it, or at least begin to build it. Curiously, I am somewhat aware of Zsuzsanna being in my life, but in my dream, there is little else of my conscious self identity present.

An unfamiliar young girl and boy come from the north as I am “building the house”. So far, I only have one corner with two bottoms of walls, only a few inches high, yet I am also now aware of a part of the carport floor. Eventually, there is an argument relating to a new piece I am adding to the house. The piece is like a long narrow section of concrete with equadistant small spheres illogically attached. The girl makes the claim that a couple of the spheres are cracked as well as part of the concrete, but I see no such feature. I do not yet add it to the house, and I get very annoyed. The scenario makes no sense at all, though is not as wholly abstract as other dreams. The carport as in waking life seems to be present and yet not present (until the last part of this dream segment). I am thinking of how others will come in and complete the house, yet there is still the ambiguous focus that I will do it, though by mental will.

I soon notice a cinder block wall behind the work I have so far done, oriented to the east. This seems problematic, because the house needs to take up the entire original area and there is otherwise not much room for the building. I consider if the house should be exactly like the original was, or if the unknown woman will need that much space.

I go over to the gray wall, and after a little effort, push it over. It lands flat and even with the edge of the incomplete carport floor and I consider, and am satisfied, that this fallen wall will now serve as part of the carport surface. I move my hands over the area with an enhanced sense of touch and a clearer awareness, as the act of pushing the wall down vivified my dream (due to the fact that a wall is a liminal space divider between different levels of unconsciousness and in-dream perception).

From here, as a result of having pushed over this in-dream “divider”, I wander off into a different dream state (though sometimes a wall as such is a more defined division between the distorted dream self identity and true conscious self identity).

The rest is a meandering mess. I go into my teenage years mode for a short time, wandering about, then into an unfamiliar kitchen setting where one man seems somehow stuck under a table with his leg somehow caught around a chair leg. He is lying on his side on the floor, halfway out from under the table, and another male is trying to help him up. The man on the floor is someone I had only talked with once years ago in Clayfield (I think his surname was Papadopoulos and this is the first time he has ever appeared in a dream as far as I remember). Zsuzsanna is present. I walk around to another part of the room. As I shift into a different dream setting, I am attempting to read some sort of listings in a newspaper as I wake.

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The man on the floor is my emergent consciousness factor (the other unknown male, the preconscious personification), the typical distorted precursory autosymbolism for waking and getting up out of bed. The act of reading in the last scene validates this, as this signifies my thinking skills beginning to emerge as I wake. As dreams are autosymbolic, not symbolic of waking life or with nebulous “interpretations” as such (as literal prescience and autosymbolic waking life factors are far more obvious and discernible), there is nothing here that is new or unusual to me in the dreaming sense.

In life, I will never stop dreaming about my Cubitis home in infinite unique forms, or in fact, of any place I have ever lived or been, or unique fictitious settings either. There is not a waking life reason for this; it just is what it is, the nature of unconsciousness.

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Morning of March 24, 2018. Saturday.



I find myself on my own in the middle of a shopping excursion. The shopping mall is of an unfamiliar layout. I wander around for a time until I am more focused on my dream’s dynamics. Although I am not lucid, there is still a vaguely discernible summoning factor as with the majority of my dreams. I remember that I am married and have children, but no other conscious threads are present such as knowledge of my age or location.

I am thinking of getting a tackle box, mostly for our sons for when they go fishing. I go to a lower shelf and pick one up and decide I will get it. Even though I perceive it as a tackle box, its appearance is that of a white Styrofoam egg carton. I consider that its design is as such to keep individual fishing lures from getting entangled by their hooks.

From here, I look at a display wall featuring various types of fishing tackle. I consider getting one of my favorite and useful types from years ago; a yellow jig. A couple are near the bottom. I study the many other types, virtually every kind of fishing tackle I have ever used, including various plug lures and spoons. I absentmindedly carry the tackle box and jigs out of the store to the parking lot without paying, though I realize I will pay for everything I get after shopping longer. I put the items into the back seat of a car, from the left side.

In attempting to go back into the mall, there is now an unfamiliar male painting the foyer. It is a darker cyan, and the entire walls, ceiling, and floor appear to be covered and still wet. (Of course, my dream self does not question this impossible sudden event.) The coat of paint has somewhat of a folded appearance, like the wrinkles and minor folds of a bed sheet. The painter, in blue bib overalls, is on a step ladder and remains cheerful. I am somewhat annoyed by this challenge. I attempt to go in, but I soon consider that I am now partly covered in paint when getting halfway to the opposite door. I subliminally reset my dream and I am again back outside the store (as I was prior to the previous event), wondering how I can enter. I notice that there is now an additional foyer to the left of the first one, which two unfamiliar females walk through to go into the store, so I use this one.

I start thinking about getting some snacks for my family. Eventually, I approach a large table in the center of one store, which apparently is a bakery. There are several large butterfly cookies (about the size of my hand) with multicolored frosting of mostly yellow, cyan, pink, and blue. Each is wrapped in cellophane. First, I see what I think is the price of 95 cents on a very small label. I then notice that the price on a larger label is two dollars. I pick up two to purchase but begin to wake at this point.

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Return flight waking symbolism (RFWS) has occurred in at least one dream per sleeping period for over fifty years, but sometimes there are multiple diverse flight symbols in several different dreams in a shorter sleeping period. Their specific nature seems directly correlated with both my subliminally discerned level of unconsciousness and vestibular system dynamics. However, in this case, the autosymbolism seems a fairly obvious rendering of “butterflies in the stomach” in subliminal anticipation of RAS modulation (in the sometimes unexpected or jolting transition of dream self to conscious self). Because the butterflies were a static feature as cookies however, the waking was softer than usual. The imagery was also beautiful and even reassuring.

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Morning of March 16, 2018. Friday.



My dream’s setting is (now WWTC) WWTI’s machine tool class, where I have not been present as a student for over thirty years. (However, ironically, I did work in the school in cleaning and maintenance a few years later).

I am watching a lathe, although other people are more actively working with it. It looks very old, almost like a subliminally perceived anachronism. Eventually, I see the ghostly presence of Michael G (standing on the opposite side of the lathe from where I am standing), but I do not feel threatened by his presence. The other people do not show any emotion and no conversation takes place.

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Key Factors:

Autosymbolism factor one: The school setting is based on the absence of conscious self identity in the dream state and the subliminal association of needing to achieve wakeful consciousness again.

Autosymbolism factor two: The lathe is associated with turning and I had been physically turning over to different sides due to discomfort in the warm weather.

Subliminal factor: The lathe is likely also a subliminal discernment of our fan being on and facing our bed, thus would qualify as an environmental second-level dream state indicator.

RAS-based marker: Michael G was a classmate who died on March 16, 1974. I am likely subliminally aware of today’s date (even though my current conscious self identity is otherwise nonexistent here), which is not a common non-lucid dream self attribute. This, as well as the distorted presence of the dream state indicator, is likely a factor of why RAS did not dominate or even activate.

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If this were my dream, and it is, I would ask myself if there is any chance of ever having an electric fan that would operate efficiently for longer than a few weeks in this day and age. I would ask myself if manufacturers will ever produce quality products again. I would reasonably conclude, “Probably not”. I would associate the length of the lathe with the fan’s distance from where I am in bed. I would ask myself if there is a more efficient way to sleep comfortably short of arranging ice cubes in key positions around my body. The lathe’s spindle rotates. The fan’s spindle rotates. My body rotates in bed. It is a vicious circle.

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Morning of March 9 2018. Friday.



My father is alive and appears as he was in the 1960s. I do not remember that he died in 1979. I am also not at all aware of my current conscious self identity. My age may be implied to be about thirty. I ride around in a car with him in late morning. The driver’s side is on the left, implying America.

There are a few repeated scenes. We mostly visit apartment buildings where gangsters supposedly live. No one is around but us until the last scene.

My father punches a wall and creates the impression of dampness and marks like small squid tentacles instead of fingers.

At one point, I watch a waterbed wiggle. A large squid apparently lives inside the mattress and the movement of the mattress’s surface is caused by this otherwise unseen squid. I am briefly, though not viably aware that I am dreaming, and I consider if this scene is autosymbolism as relating, as a precursor, to hypnopompic kicks (as did my donkey inside a mattress dream from Christmas of 2016, which crosses my mind as such very vaguely and briefly).

In the last scene, my father and I are standing in a hallway where a curtain is drawn across one area. An unfamiliar male moves the curtains aside and says my father has a doctor’s appointment.

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Water usually represents, as autosymbolism, the essence of sleep, dream state induction (in fact, my most common form of induction since early childhood, occurring at least once every sleeping period), and the absence of emotion in unconsciousness. I suspect, curiously enough (from personal evidence), at least on one level, that a squid has something to do with augmented sexuality, however, as related to dream state reinduction (as a subliminal directive) rather than waking life. The problem with pretending that dreams are symbolically about waking life is in ignoring how the fictitious non-lucid dream self (personified subconscious, which lacks temporality and intelligence) is not the conscious self and that, even when non-lucid, I typically seek the understanding of the dream state rather than waking life, to develop clarity of mind. Plus, dreams are primarily autosymbolic in symbolizing the nature of biology, vestibular system ambiguity, transitions in unconsciousness, and consciousness reascension, so how could they viably relate to waking life in the way many people seem to believe (other than when additionally prescient or as literal carryovers)?

Other than being autosymbolic of the usual RAS mediation and the emergent consciousness factor (by way of preconscious personification), the last part of my dream regarding the doctor (looking into my dream self’s essence through the curtains, which is autosymbolism for the liminal space of the waking transition) is possibly literal and reflects my occasional focus on mortality, though hopefully not literally prescient yet. From experience, I know that my father now often represents my current conscious self identity even if it is otherwise not extant in the dream state. Still, I really had to go upon waking, and as a waterbed mattress is called a “bladder”, there may be a connection, though I had a dream about a squid on a mattress in 2015, and although there were pools of water on the bed, it was not a waterbed. Incidental associations are probably enough to trigger such a dream, though, especially in punching a wall (vaguely influenced by the 1980s movie “Altered States”), with a wall representing the autosymbolic barrier between fictitious dream self identity and conscious self identity.

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Morning of March 3, 2018. Saturday.



In the last segment of my dream, I find myself holding a vacuum cleaner. I start to vacuum the floor, which has the appearance, to some extent, of the area near the entrance to my room in Cubitis (where I had not lived since 1978). However, it also has the essence of our present home.

Over time, as I am vacuuming, there is a point at which the vacuum cleaner’s sound decreases. The suction becomes minimal, though I am still able to vacuum a little longer. I vacuum up small paper scraps as well as dust and small debris. Finally, the vacuum cleaner’s sound is almost inaudible. I bend the hose at different angles to see if that helps release any debris in the blocked area, but it does not seem to be working. As I am twisting the hose, my focus is to my left, the side the vacuum cleaner is mostly oriented toward.

Eventually, in hypnopompic revelation (the emergent consciousness factor of liminal space, where the meaning of my dream is revealed to me), I discover that the blood circulation of my left arm had been cut off to a greater extent than usual, as I was sleeping on it. Thus, the blocked vacuum cleaner hose was autosymbolism for my left arm’s blocked circulation. RAS mentally prepared me for this with my dream’s focus on the blocked hose to resolve the issue as soon as possible after my dream’s cessation. (This is known as biological pattern matching.)

My dream’s beginning is associated with the glymphatic system and the evidence that the clearance of interstitial waste products increases during the resting state.

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Morning of February 27, 2018. Tuesday.



I am in an unfamiliar store and looking at a large wooden display unit for magazines. It has four shelf sections and is as long as the aisle.

I notice an American Mad Magazine on the third shelf up, the front cover of which resembles that of issue 145 from September 1971 (with the original’s cover price being 40 cents), though the art is somewhat sketchy, seemingly by Don Martin, and drawn smaller and lower than the real version. It also seems to be implied to be a hot air balloon with a male character hanging from the basket’s gunwale on the left side and a female character facing left in profile and looking down at him with a question mark over her head.

I pick it up with my left hand but I never open it. Still, I perceive that some of the pages are stiffer than usual, perhaps due to several different thin cardboard pages throughout. I consider that it may be a special issue. I assume it is two dollars and prepare to buy it, discovering that I have an Australian two-dollar coin in my right hand.

Zsuzsanna is also soon present and she finds a magazine that she plans to buy. It seems to be a different issue of Mad Magazine, but I do not see the cover.

I go to the singular checkout counter, which looks somewhat like the type in a convenience store, although there is no display unit at the front. I prepare to pay for the magazine when I notice that I am also carrying, in my left hand (and below the magazine), what looks like three VHS cases, though smaller than real ones and ambiguously associated with DVD cases. Looking at them, they all seem to be folk music albums.

Their covers are all in brown and beige hues and feature mostly print (apparently lists of song titles). I put them in a display bin in which others are strewn, at the end of the aisle near the checkout. Going back, I notice that I still have one case in my hand, and wonder how I had missed putting it back. I feel somewhat annoyed by my absentmindedness.

When I am at the checkout (Zsuzsanna standing on my left), the unfamiliar male cashier tells me it will be twelve dollars. Looking at the cover, even seeing that the price in the upper right corner reads as $3.12 (three dollars and twelve cents), I still exclaim, “How can a two dollar magazine be twelve dollars?” I consider that I might pay the amount, as I start to remember that American magazines in Australia are much more expensive than their printed cover price, but I wake at this point.

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Zsuzsanna is usually on my left in the last segment of a dream. This is subliminal awareness that she is on my left as we are sleeping, and as such, is a common DSI (Dream State Indicator).

The Mad Magazine cover depicts static “failed flight waking symbolism”, suggesting that the character is about to fall, potentially precursory symbolism of my dream self in waking transition (the typical biological jolt of waking). However, these common dynamics had been quashed in this case, both in being featured on a liminal space divider (magazine cover) and oriented incorrectly. This is otherwise based on the biological vestibular system ambiguity of being unconscious, unrelated to waking life. There has been at least one VSA factor in at least one of my dreams of each sleeping period for over fifty years, so pretending that VSA autosymbolism is relevant to waking life is asinine (other than when literally prescient, though I doubt I will be in a hot air balloon or buying a Mad Magazine in the future).

This dream is the typical checkout scenario, which is autosymbolism of consciousness reascension (leaving the dream state), one of my most common factors of waking autosymbolism since childhood. The confusion about prices (as well as having to do the same thing more than once) is a common dream state dynamic (as the non-lucid dream self does not usually possess or maintain viable thinking skills or temporality) of which is unrelated to waking life and the conscious self.

The preconscious personification (the cashier) is an unfamliar male to prevent my dream from having waking life associations. (However, in direct contrast, this factor is sometimes inexplicably prescient.)

RAS mediation renders the store as unfamiliar to prevent my conscious mind from mistaking it as being related to waking life (for prevention of false or ambiguous memories). (There is always the possibility that it may be visually prescient, but it is probably only the usual unique fictitious composite.)

In summary, this dream features the usual components and autosymbolism. The Mad Magazine cover is similar to the first issue that my mother bought me when I began to collect them in 1971, thus this represents the induction marker of my dream, while the checkout is the exit marker.

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Morning of February 23, 2018. Friday.



In the first part of my dream, I am sitting on the floor of the Gellibrand Street apartment’s porch. (We have not lived there in years.) I am looking through and reading some coupons relating to free offers. By writing down four letters which appear on the coupon, KLRS, and then the next letter after each, underneath, LMST, it somehow causes a package to be immediately sent to our front door, though I do not open it as I focus on the unusual nature of this puzzling technology. I begin to ponder on how the company would know what I wrote in a notebook in my own home.

I later write LMPR, and MNQS underneath. (Throughout my dream, I clearly read and write uppercase letters which remain the same, which is atypical of the dream state, as writing typically changes in many dreams when looking back at it again.) A handwritten message appears above the letters relating to the activation of a special offer. Similar events occur a few more times.

I begin to wonder more about how this is possible. The setting changes (without my dream self paying much attention) to an unfamiliar location. It is a large room with a table. Dennis (an older half-brother on my mother’s side ) is present. (I have not seen him in real life since 1994.)

I tell Dennis about the companies and clubs that somehow cause handwritten messages to appear in my notebook. I look through my notebook and, for a time, cannot find the evidence, though I eventually do and show him. One message is on what looks like black embossing tape with white letters. It easily comes off the page. Dennis is curious, but I consider he may not be convinced of this inexplicable technology.

“Watch this,” I tell him. Instead of getting a code from a coupon, I make up a sequence. I write NOPQ, but decide to change it to LMNR, as I consider the code would probably not have four letters in a row in alphabetical order as such, even though they are otherwise in an alphabetical sequence. I then write MNOS underneath. A handwritten message appears out of nowhere that displays something like, “Thank you for activating your membership.” I use NORS, OPST underneath, and a similar message appears. I ask Dennis, “How are they doing this?” He does not reply. I use MNOS a few times (with NOPT), each time on a different page, and the same message appears above what I had written, relating to benefits of membership activation, though I eventually get, “You have already activated your membership. Thanks for your participation.”

I start to consider that there may be hidden cameras everywhere. This seems to “explain” it, though I forget about the unlikelihood of writing appearing on paper from no discernible source.

I write MNOS again and NOPT underneath. A large moving image of a Doberman Pinscher’s head appears on the wall. It is as if a film is being shown; the aspect ratio is square. The dog is apparently barking, but there is no sound. I perceive this as some sort of function to express a warning about repeatedly using the same code to activate something that had already been activated. There is no sense of threat at any time or any genuine wariness. In fact, I find it somewhat amusing even if it is inexplicable.

Again, I ask Dennis, “How are they doing this?” There is now also an unfamiliar male in the room who I do not see as an imposer or related to the inexplicable events. I consider that he may be puzzled as well.

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Dreams are mainly ascending reticular activating system mediation (and modulation when the dream self by way of subliminal conscious self intent attempts to remain asleep) between transient dream self and whole conscious self identity, primarily being autosymbolism for consciousness reascension while subliminally exploring the dream state. Why so many people completely ignore this truth in favor of asinine pretense (often focusing on negative dynamics even where there are none) has baffled me since childhood. My development since early childhood, in understanding the dream state (and dismissing the tripe of books on the “meanings” of dreams while even marrying my literal “dream girl” in real life), has resulted in an extraordinary virtuous circle effect as seen in this dream, even though my dream self remains puzzled about the communication from my conscious self. Yes, that is what is happening. My conscious self is sending threads of communication (by way of the ECF, emergent consciousness factor, in RAS mediation) to my dream self to enhance skills which typically do not exist in the dream state (though some asinine individuals make the ridiculous claim that one cannot read in the dream state at all). It has nothing to do with “messages from the subconscious”, as my dream self IS the subconscious (and the subconscious is a dynamic band that has no viable temporality or consistent intelligence). Aside from that, only the conscious self has viable reasoning skills, including coherent perception of the written language, and yet here, my dream self maintains (again through the virtuous circle effect of having devoted much of my life to dream state study and enhancement of the dream state) some extent of control and feasible discernment regardless of not being viably lucid.

The dog in the final scene represents the obedience factor (as I have explained in my journal many times before) as well as this dream’s WAF (waking alert factor) by way of my subliminal attempt to sustain the dream state. The wall is a liminal space divider between dream self and conscious self identity. The (transpersonal) preconscious personification (the unfamiliar male in the room) remains passive in my dream self’s subliminal activity until I wake.

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Morning of September 9, 1966. Friday.



I am apparently on a spaceship, though there are no others around except for a couple of adult males who are talking near the end of a hall until they go around a corner (a common event in early childhood dreams). As I wander around, not being focused on much of anything, I see what I first think is a baby lying on the floor on its back, though partly covered with a ragged blanket. I soon consider that it is probably a plastic doll that someone dropped, but upon closer look, it is a heavy metallic statue of a man in a combat helmet, though unrealistically rendered somewhat as having a baby’s body proportions.

Later, a young girl with a lion shows me to the “front door” so I can go home. She is carrying the “statue”, which is now a ragged cloth doll with no apparent face, which is smaller than what this oddity had been minutes before. The “front door” turns out to be a semicircular ceiling (somewhat like the essence of a cave rather than a building or spaceship) that first seems to display outer space, though eventually I see the buildings of La Crosse and my apartment building. My dream fades from here.

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The night before (September 8, 1966), I had watched the first episode of “Star Trek” ever shown on television; “The Mantrap”; as well as the “Tarzan” episode “Eyes of the Lion”, which came directly before it on the same channel. This “Tarzan” episode (as well as movies like “The Lion” from 1962, which also featured a young girl with an adult male lion) had influenced a number of my dreams later on despite the fact I had confused it in my teenage years with “The Haunted Lighthouse”, an episode of “Lost in Space” that also featured a girl (Penny), a lion, a cave, and “going back home”, though that did not air until October 18, 1967. In the “Tarzan” episode, a young blind girl who lived in a cave used an adult lion as a seeing-eye animal. (I am still wary of lions in some dreams, depending on my level of unconsciousness in relationship to my dream state awareness level, as it is a natural factor of potential RAS modulation as the waking alert factor, and additionally as emergent consciousness coalescence, as a lion can swallow the dream self, though this coalescence factor has been re-symbolized as hugging in some dreams, by way of virtuous circle, as with “Changing the Lion of Coalescence into my Wife Zsuzsanna" from December 3, 2016).

I can easily see the autosymbolism of this dream. The soldier statue was implied as a RAS modulation precursor, as RAS is often aggressive if I subliminally decide that it is not time to wake yet. However, I eventually accepted consciousness reascension and there was no conflict. Learning the nature of the dream state at an early age was very beneficial, as nightmares or even “bad dreams” are extremely rare, other than when biologically premonitory.

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This online dream journal entry was reformatted from the source material, abridged, and clarified on Wednesday, 21 February 2018.

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Morning of December 31, 1999. Friday.



I am with a group of about eight people, all of whom are unfamiliar and unknown to me. The setting is a partial house with typical indoor outdoor ambiguity. The people seem somewhat friendly and there is no conflict at any point. It is an informal social atmosphere.

Eventually, there is at least one lion walking around near the perimeter of what is implied to be the house. It looks our way a few times but there is never an implied threat. Still, I feel puzzled at times as to whether there should be a wall present between us and the lion. The other people do not comment on its presence.

Indoor outdoor ambiguity is likely the result of subliminal awareness of the differences between being conscious in waking life and being unconscious in the dream state, as a wall is otherwise liminal space division autosymbolism, the waking space between the incomplete fictional dream self identity and the conscious self identity.

RAS modulation (dominating RAS mediation triggered by delayed consciousness reascension) remains inactive here, as there is no event regarding the lion, which otherwise remains a passive emergent consciousness factor. All this is saying is that RAS does not detect a possible threat in my immediate environment as I am sleeping. In childhood, concern over a wild animal getting into my Cubitis home was a recurring waking alert factor by way of RAS modulation, though such dreams were not nightmarish, as they only held sustained concern until my dream faded. It is a biological mechanism related to survival instinct, though additionally triggered by the lack of clarity of one’s environment in unconsciousness, especially upon an unfamiliar noise being subliminally perceived.

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