non-lucid

Here are the dreams from last night. The non lucid parts are written in black. I highlighted the lucid parts in lime green this time. There were also some parts that were really pre lucid but not exactly lucid, so I only highlighted the ones I was certain were lucid.


Round 1 and 2 of dreams
Here are dreams. This is the second time I have woken up. Unfortunately, the first time I woke up, I did not write down the dream fragments I remembered. I thought to myself that they were so few, that I would definitely rmemeber them next time I woke uo. This was not the case, and now I am kind of sad that they are gone.

I had difficulty falling asleep the first time of the night, but the second time I went back to sleep (after needing the bathroom) I fell asleep easier.

From this second round of dreams, the first thing I remember is having to go somewhere with my Dad. I didn't want to go. It had to do with where I went to college.

Then, there was a part at AB's house where it was around 6 A M. I wanted to ask my cousin something but AC said it was too early for her. she wasn't really up yet.

There was something about my sister arranging a daily spanking routine with my Dad. I was horrified by this. I am against the spanking of children. The concept of spanking came up in my life recently and so I see that this has some carryover to day time.

This dream was very vivid and eventful, but I remembered only a little. The next part was that I was sitting near some water and there were two girls to my right. It was like the shore of an ocean or big body of salt water. there was some surf washing up. One girl to my right had no shirt on the second time I looked at her. I didn't get too engaged in that aspect of the dream. But I forgot what we were all doing by the water. Maybe eating ice cream? I was going to go out to the water at first but then I saw those two sitting there and decided to sit with them.

There was a part where I had this foldable griddle and was cooking eggs or other food for people. there was a lot of food in this dream. I was cooking a big rectangular pizza and I considered slicing open the crust and turning the whole thing into a breakfast pizza with bacon, maple syrup and eggs, and i guess cheese. I thought everyone would really enjoy this.

There was a family there that was like my previous neighbors. There was a girl from there who I was seeming to get to know better. We were sitting together by ourselves. I did not get along well with these neighbors. I remember seeing a guy who looked like her brother but wasn't quite her brother, so I figured he was her cousin or something. Then another guy came over and seemed to draw her back over to their family table. I felt kind of bad about this because I liked her. In waking life, I did not get along well with her.

Then there was a thing about this plant or ornament thing that could be designed to stay in a certain shape. So I put one of the limbs into a square and I did this to impress people or win the girl back. There was a whole concept of how the plant or ornament could be programmed to go in a certain shape, without changing it manually. I was then looking through the shelves beneath it for a manual of some sort. Instead, I found a questionnaire packet about some different topics, one of which was kind of surprising.(Note to self #1*)

I felt like I was supposed to fill it out, but didn't want to. There might have been something to do with math homework. Then, A B walked by and sung that I was a beautiful helper. I felt good about that.

So then I was walking back through and there were all these kids. Someone said something about how we all have to get these kids on the bus before 10 A M so we don't get billed for having kids at this location. The floors were all slippery and it was a big mess. Then I walked further one way and a latin american fellow was eating raw chicken. i thought, man, he must be hungry, but I didn't think that was good for you. Oh, well, maybe he can digest it. Then, a woman's voice was asking if the kids have trouble being on benefits or people pick on them because of being on benefits. Then, I walked by this huge pile of cooked sweet potatoes. but they were moldy. I got excited because I love roasted yams. But I opened one and it had lots of green and white mold.

So, that was all of these dreams. Unfortunately, I forgot a lot of parts that were interesting. What happened was, once I woke up from that second round of dreams and sleep, I stayed perfectly still and attempted to think of what I dreamed about. But, for some reason, it took a minute or two for anything to come to mind. That seems weird because it was such a vivid dream. I guess I was just groggier or in a deeper phase of sleep and hopefully, the next rounds of sleep and dreams gives me more dream recall.










Round 3 of dreams


I didn't have too much trouble falling asleep. These dreams turned out to be a dream chain kind of thing with two fairly long lucid dreams back to back after the first dream. I forgot a lot of the dreams unfortunately, even though I stayed perfectly still and immediately thought of what i had dreamed upon awakening physically in my bed. Well, here is what I remember.

There was a scene where I was on the phone with my friend Lesa. I forgot what we were talking about. One part was that I have healed a lot from circumcision trauma because I am not as angry, even though I still oppose it. I just oppose it more calmly, which is healthier for me at the time. I was pouring soap from a body soap bottle into something else. It was like a blue tube of gel, unlike the real body soap, which isn't as solid. My Mom had taken the toilet down stairs for cleaning it, which made perfect sense to me at the time. There was some dream context that I could have cleaned the walls behind the toilet and the floor while she was down there but I didn't really want to. I didn't know I was dreaming yet. In the bath tub to the left of the toilet place, there were all of these blue fish tank pebble types of things. I figured they were some kind of cleaning salts and would dissolve.

I forgot the rest of this dream, but there was more to it. What happened was, I woke up and thought about it. I remember remembering a good deal of it, but the next thing I knew, I was asleep again, and in another dream.

In this dream, I had woken up in a car. I was in a parking lot and it was daylight. I didn't know I was dreaming right away, but I started to have the notion that it could be a dream. A girl pulled up in a car next to me. It was Victoria from high school and I got out of my car, to not be anti social. At the time, i was trying to dream journal in my car, which often happens as this is kind of a false awakening I get from thinking I have woken up to dream journal when i was intending to last time I was awake. I was worried about forgetting my dreams. Then, I was on the passenger side of my car, trying to write my dream journal in blue gel on the windshield. I realized this wouldn't work the best, and tried to get my phone to work as a dream journal. Then, another guy was there talking to Victoria, and I had the sense they both wanted me to go away. I looked in some compartment on the side of my car. As I was standing with Victoria and the guy, I was still stressing about writing my dream journal. then I realized i was in another dream. I was like seventy five percent sure of it, but didn't do any dream state checks yet.

Next, in this dream, I was in some kind of a school hallway or building. I remember it being bright with lots of white tiles and white walls and stuff like that. There was some kind of class going on or something. There were some women around. I decided to check if it was indeed a dream. I tried a finger palm test a few times, hoping to be discreet. It didn't go through, but the hunch that I was dreaming still didn't go away. I was thinking, I know this is a dream, I just need to prove it to myself. I remember looking out some window perhaps into a field. I also remember there was some rectangle in the wall that I pulled myself up to look into and it was this crawl space thing, with upside down cieling tiles as the floor. This seemed unusual to me. I don't know if this counts as a totally lucid dream or if I was just pre lucid the whole time. More happened in this dream, but I don't remember it now, and you will see why in the next dream. I am not sure if I had more lucidity later in this part of the dream chain or not. But I did wake up and try to remember as much as possible of this part of the dream chain before the next began. As far as dream chains go, this one had 3 long segments, instead of my usual 6 to 12 short segments when I have dream chains.

Another dream began after a while of thinking through the previous two. This time, I knew it was a dream sooner, almost immediately. I forgot the first parts of this dream. I remember some kind of underground rock concert, a scene I feel I have dreamed of before. I felt somewhat excluded perhaps. Then I was in this parking garage walking perhaps to my car. There was a thought in my mind about how a certain belief system (Note to self #2*) seems dark but is more about integration than actually becoming evil. There were cars parked to my right, and I walked or flew alongside them. I sensed someone coming and I hid behind them. I had the feeling I was in a part of the dream I wasn't allowed. As I hid behind one car, I saw a car pull out of one of the spaces ahead and to my left, from between other cars. the unusual thing was, it was a limosine, but it pulled out of a car space just the size of a regular sedan, which had nothing past it but a wall. Well, I already knew it was a dream.

Then, I was flying around this lobby a bit. I had a sense I should really lay low around here. I saw someone working in a glass booth and flew through the glass both, but I think I was also invisible. I tried going down through the floor to see the underground concert thing again, but the dream told me I couldn't go through the floor this time. So, I let go of needing to do that.

Next thing I knew, I was in some class. Then, a girl I know, either Lauren or Julia, was walking down the steps ahead of me. She dropped a bunch of mini reeses cups on the steps and I made sure to step over them. She told me it didn't matter if I stepped on them, they had already hit the floor, so she couldn't eat them. I said, well, that may be so, but I don't want them on my shoe. I figured she would go buy some new ones in wrappers, but she had taken them from some bulk pack. I don't know how they kept in her pocket. I might have temporarily forgot it was a dream around this part, or faded in and out of awareness of that. The dream was really long, much longer than my memory of it shows. I was thinking to myself that I didn't know that girl had an eating problem.

Then, a guy I never met was shaking my hand and giving me some kind of compliment or advice. In the context of the dream, I thought of him as a guy from my fraternity, but now that I look back, I didn't actually know him. he was somewhat big of a guy with grey hair.

Then there was a part with two young girls in a cage, holding burgers on strings. A guy about 20 years old walked by and oogled at the burgers, then kept walking. As he did this, I felt tremendous fear, like he was a dinosaur and going to eat the girls.



Then there was a part with two teenage boys bringing a slightly younger teenage girl somewhere. They were outdoors and there was a fence nearby. It was still daytime. I felt fear that they were going to molest the girl. At this point, I felt like I was following along invisibly, and I knew I was dreaming again, if I had lose awareness at one point. Now, I had a sense that I was more passively being shown this scene, like a T V show, as opposed to actively engaged in it. As in, I didn't really have a dream body. I was just a floating awareness, unable even to control my own floating. but I was aware of my actual condition being a dream. So, I just followed the kids, thinking that I might at some point materialize with a dream body and rescue the girl if need be.

I remember somewhere along the course of these dreams, thinking to myself, well, this is just pointless. This is such a long dream, I will never remember all of it. I don't even see the point of this dream, anyway. I should just wake myself up. but then I remembered a rule I made with myself, that I was sort of honor bound to stay in the dream as long as I could. Even if I didn't want to stay, I had to do my best to stay in the dream as long as I could. So, I decided I wouldn't wake myself up.

Next thing I knew, I was seeing a young teenage boy saying something. Then, credits rolled. The scene zoomed out and showed I had been watching this all on a T V. Suddenly, I knew I was in the living room of a cabin that it felt like I had been in earlier in the dream. I wish I remembered this all more clearly. A guy walked by with a dog and out a door to my right. The door had mainly glass, but then some wooden slat kind of things. I can't think of the name for this kind of door but it is a pretty normal door. With brown wood. There was a couch to the right of that door. As the guy left, I tried to tell him I thought my life purpose was to materialize and save that girl, but now I found out it was just a T V show. The guy didn't seem to care. I felt all alone for a moment. I wondered if I was supposed to commit suicide within this dream because I felt so empty and useless all of a sudden. I thought if there would be a dream gun somewhere. I knew that suicide within a dream would not kill me because I have read about how dying in dreams doesn't actually kill the person. So it was more symbolic or something. I couldn't think of anything else to do.

Then, I felt empowered by the thought that I could just turn off the T V. All along, I could have just realized it was a T V show, grabbed the remote, and turned the power off. then, i could have done something else. So, the remote was right to the left of the T V and I picked it up. I forgot what hand. The power button was very clearly on the top right of the remote, and I pressed it. The T V went off for a split second, but popped back on. I was not surprised. That happens in dreams a lot, I turn off electronics or radios and they pop back on and I have to keep unplugging them from here or there. so I was expecting that. I pressed power off again and it went off again.

Just then, someone came in with two dogs. They looked dark at first, and I felt scared. But then I saw that she was a beautiful dark skinned woman in a dark coat and hat with dark hair. She was 4 and a half to 5 feet tall if I could guess. One of her dogs had these shiny black spots of fur on an otherwise not shiny brown coat of fur. That was the dog to my right. The other dog was to my left. She started to comment on how we needed to have sex immediately. I was like, woah, cool. I was totally aware it was a dream. She began to undress very slowly. I wanted to rush her to undress, but I tried to just breathe. I could see her body and she was just getting her pants off. She was saying something about how she should have just stayed with a guy like me (Note to self #3*) all along and not gone for those other guys. Now, she was back, and she wasn't going to leave again, she said. I started to be aware for the first time in this dream that I was losing stability. This is part of why I wanted her to hurry up. I was getting anxious or too excited, but I was able to keep some level of cool, enough to extend the dream the amount I did. I started to tell her that I was losing stability and I needed her help to stay in the dream, and my level of panic about waking up kind of rose. At first, I felt like I might be able to stay in the dream and enjoy the next scene which might have ensued, but then, i felt myself waking up physically in my bed. (Note to self #4*)

Then I was awake physically in my bed. Because I woke up straight from that scene, I was able to begin remembering the dreams right away. I couldn't remember as much as I would have wanted to. I wrote the dream out in full though and now I can go back to bed.






Round 4 of dreams. .

I fell back asleep without much trouble, on my left side. I had a dream and woke up, unable to remember even a little of it. I was still very groggy, and felt myself soon drifting to sleep again, so I just let it happen.

I was in another dream that I don't remember a lot of the beginning of. My sister was there. Two other girls were there. I think I remember having a bad feeling but I am not quite sure. There may have been something with my college fraternity.

Then I was having a conflict with a guy, I think. Maybe a conflict with my Dad. I think he wanted help carrying something to the back yard or something like that. Maybe he had some kind of a vacuum.

Oh, snap, now I remember what happened. Someone else was up in my room with me and we had a drug like D M T. It was either actual D M T or I was just pretending it was. I haven't smoked weed or drank in over 4 years in waking life, by the grace of the goodness gracious. But i took this test tube or lab beaker kind of thing and put the drug in there and somehow vaporized it from that. I remember inhaling every last bit of vapor and feeling like, oh, crap, why did I do that? Even if I am only pretending, I really shouldn't be dabbling with drugs. I kind of started to feel funny. I think I looked in the mirror but I don't remember what I saw. Now that I remember that, it makes sense why I was so relieved when I found out next that it was just a dream.

When I was downstairs, I got the idea to try putting my finger through my palm. It was a vivid dream already and it felt like waking life. But, I gave it a try and to my surprise, it poked through a little. I felt more like I was in waking life, and nothing would happen. So it was interesting for it to really go through to the other side. I wanted to show someone but then I didn't. I still didn't quite understand what it meant that it was a dream. I felt like I was still in waking life, but that something was just a little different. I went to look out the front door, which looked like it does in waking life. Then, I realized it was a dream, so that meant I could do more fun stuff or something. I saw a sugar cookie shaped like an easter bunny chocolate bar thing and grabbed that and started to eat it. it was delicious. My Mom was there and she was being really nurturing. Then, I wanted more food, but it felt like the other food was still stuck in my mouth, and I couldn't fully swallow it. Anyway, I went in the fridge, and there was a pile of food boxes. On top was a really well made birthday cake that said Mommy on it. this makes sense because my sister was just telling me how she decorated a cake for my Mom for her birthday, which was a few days ago. I thought of digging right into the cake, but decided not to, because even though it was a dream, it seemed too important to mess with. So I put the cake to the side. The next box was a circle of turkey and cheese sandwiches on whole wheat bread, and I dug right into those. I still felt like I should leave some for everyone else, even if I was in a dream. As I ate, I felt like I couldn't eat fast enough. The food in the dream tasted so delicious. Then, there was a jar of Mustard to my right. I gobbed some of that on the sandwiches and ate that, and it was delicious, too. My Mom came by and asked me if I was going to put some Kevin on my food. I knew that Kevin was the word for Mayo but I don't know how those words got criss crossed. There was a small jar of Mayo near the mustard that I didn't have any of yet. Then, my Mom was saying more nice things to me as I ate. That was a really nice wish fulfilling dream. I told my Mom that I want to eat something I really want to eat! She said, I know, me too. (Note to self #5*) Then, I noticed my Mom's art was everywhere. I thought that I would really like to compliment her on her wonderful art. I could see shadows cast by her easels. I wanted to have the chance to tell her how great her art was, before the dream ended, but my mouth was so full. (Note to self #6*) I thought I would be able to enjoy some more food, and then I would get the chance to compliment my Mom on her art, which would probably be very fulfilling in a dream. Then, I woke up physically in my bed, with my mouth still moving, still tasting the sandwiches from the dream.

It took me a moment to even think of the dreams. I don't know why my dream recall isn't the best tonight. I feel I dreamed a lot, but remembered so little. I hope I can sleep and dream once more, because I feel a bit like I had less dreams than usual. But it might be the case that I have had all the sleep my body will take, and it is morning. Usually I can't sleep past sun rise. But I will try to sleep again and see what happens.

I am definitely happy about this L D because I like dream food. From the moment I thought of food, I was thinking of the food in our cabinets in waking life. Also, I eat very strict in waking life, never any cookies or even bread, for years straight now, and so eating things like this in a dream is a real treat. I eat this way in waking life more due to food allergies than anything else, and because I have a history with certain types of food triggering binges. Which, in the dream, I did feel like I was on a food binge, but because I knew it was a dream, I just enjoyed it. In waking life, being on a food binge like that would be pretty scary. So, I am grateful I am not on a food binge in waking life.

Well, I didn't get back to sleep. I tried, but could tell the sun had risen without even looking, and I got up. So, now its time for the day.

Here are my dreams from last night. I had a long nap that afternoon so I think I went right to REM sleep or something because I had more dreams than usual.






Dreams 2/6-2/7/18



If you want to skip to the lucid parts, just CTRL + F "Reflection in the dark" and "Jimmy B" and those parts are high lit in green.






Round 1 of Dreams


There was a lot to these dreams but I feel I forgot some. This might be 50% of it.

First thing I remember was going into this computer lab and seeing Josh P from school sitting with someone else. His face was really pimply and I said something like, so, have you been here a few days straight? The idea was that he hadn't showered in a few days straight and had just been staying in that computer lab. There was stuff before this. I was with some people before getting to that computer lab. but I fell back asleep before I could think of it.

I think there was something with dogs. Like a dog going accross the road for a snack. Or digging something up or burying something.

There may also have been something with bees. Like a bee landing on me but not stinging me. But I was scared it would sting me.

After that, I had these plastic tubes of some kind of nuts. There was something with Animals, maybe horses. The nuts cost about a dollar 38 each. We were in a bigger field type of place. It was day time. There was this guy saying how the nuts cost money. I had a few packs, and figured 5 dollars wasn't much to share a few packs, so I was going to pass them around for people to sample, instead of having to buy their own. The guy then took handfuls of un shelled nuts, kind of like wal nuts, and started to throw them into the air. Once he threw them, he would shoot them with a shot gun and the nuts would be shelled in mid air. Then people would catch the shelled nuts in their mouths. There was a bit more to this but he basically one upped me. I woke up from this dream around here, I think, and thought about it some. I must have fallen back to sleep before I could fully remember it all.

So then I laid there and thought of those dreams as much as I could, before these next ones began.

For what I remember of these, they started in my old neighborhood. Someone was mowing their lawn really late, and I was going to go ask them to stop. I got this thought that the law said that they could mow their lawn until 10 or 11 P M. I was mad about that, but it was what it was. I turned around and needed to pee. I think that some guy picked me up in his car or something who lived on first avenue. I had just moved from 16th street to 14th, in the context of this dream. There was some talk about keeping his property safe or something. I think I went pee somewhere.

I was in a bathroom and it was showing how there was a xylophone thing with keys with colors in this order. Blue, Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Aqua Green. Something like that. It had to do with archery. There was a view of a muscular guy shooting a bow and arrow and aiming for a target. And the colored xylophone thing had to do with some scale of something. I remember thinking to myself that the blue should be after or around aqua green, not after the color red.

Then there was something about going to this concert. There was some music I liked. Maybe music guys lined up to play music. Afterwards, I was on my phone, in the music store. It was not like the regular music store, just one my dream had designed. I was sampling songs in the music store and found I could listen to the song without paying but I had to keep the app open. So I did that.

Then I was walking backwards down some stairs. The set of stairs had some steps that fit my foot and some that didn't. I was getting internet from the stores I was passing by to keep listening to my songs.

I passed by this diner, and this african american fellow comes out and says, can you please help us? We need to sell this car. So I went up some black plastic kind of steps which were a bit longer than my foot each. And when I got inside, the car was like this small moving truck type of thing with a big logo of a candy bar on it. Apparently it was a vintage delivery car for that candy bar and it was selling for 800 to 1000 dollars. I thought to myself, I can't afford that. But they were putting it out front.

There was some piece of plastic covering a piece of paper that I put in my mouth for some reason. Then there were 3 girls who were like, did you wash that before you put it in your mouth? I was like, actually, no, I should go wash it, and spit out all of my spit before I swallow my spit again, since it is dirty. So I went in to the next room to do that. Around then, my friend Mike was around and talking about how he was worried about his mother who he had to take care of. I was trying to reassure him. I felt kind of embarassed when really I wanted to impress them.

Then, there was something about my friend Carl, who was very into a religious text. So, there was something where we were all lined up and waiting for this show. Then, from the room behind us, I could hear Carl reading from this religious text, and it said, "The people who are the characters in this world will be shown in that world" or something like that. The 3 girls turned to me and said, are you all friends or something like that? And I told them I wasn't really involved with their group. But if they wanted to meet Carl, they could just go introduce themselves. They really thought Carls religious text was cool.

I was using my phone and Phi Write app. But Phi Write had 3 columns. I had to kind of right click and look for something that said wide view. Then I rotated the phone to land scape and it was a full screen one column view, but the back ground was pink. It had little guiding lines to write on that were like kid paper. So part of that was from waking up, thinking through the previous dreams, and then intending to dream journal. but I fell back asleep so i was trying to dream journal in the dream. That happens often.

Then, a guy to their right said something like, will Mike go to school? There was this guy Mike who I knew who was having a hard time with life in some ways. The kid was saying how Mike was talking to him one day and really bringing him down with all the talk about how he is down. When I looked closer, the kid was wearing a big fake nose and funny glasses. He had a funny black wig thing on and a white shirt. He looked like a funny cartoon character. I was thinking of how the kids these days are so hard on each other and they should really be more supportive. The guy went on to say that Mike was telling him how he was with a girl but had a cold penis in the flacid position. And the guy was saying how he was with a girl with puffy nipples and could get an erection. So Mike should just go to the gym.

That was the part I woke up from, and thought through the dreams. Luckily, I needed to use the bathroom too much to fall back asleep. I felt mentally kind of groggy thinking through these, and some of the ways I wrote things don't feel as clear. But I thought the dreams were very cool.
















Round 2 of Dreams



I fell asleep for this round of dreams in some time but somewhat mindfully.

I had some dream fragments before the main round of dreams began. They were just little moments when I was suddenly in a dream for like a split second, and then I was in my bed again.

I had a few different dreams that seemed vague. One was of being in some kind of flight. Something to do with flying. I wish I could remember more about this. It seems like it was an interesting part but I just can't remember anything more about it.

Another was that I was preparing my food, and saying that my sister could watch me prepare my food. I was preparing it in a small circular dish.

The last thing I remember is being in some wrestling room. I was fighting in the wrestling room. There was an idea that I could wrestle someone and then one of us would slam the other into the padded walls and no one would get hurt. There was some intensity heating up in the dream and although I wasn't lucid, I remembered to relax. This helped and the whole conflict sort of ended, which felt healthy.

Now that I write about it, I feel there was more to this dream, but I can't remember. Hopefully I will get better dream recall next round.













Round 3 of Dreams



This was an interesting dream with a lot of layers.

First thing I remember is that I was on a football team. I think it was a college football team. And we were supposed to play at 10 A M, but it snowed. So the game got delayed.

I think a bunch of stuff happened that day, which I don't remember much of.

Then, I think we were on a bus to play the game at night. But it was around 7 P M and I was getting tired.

So I think it was dark when we got to the game and I just went to sleep on an air mattress. Even in my dreams, I would rather go to sleep and have my night of dreams than to pull an all nighter!

I remember when we got there there was something about closing up the gates. It seemed like some sort of religious thing almost. Or we were at a religious location.

Now the memories get a little clearer. Within that dream, I was sleeping on this air mattress on the side of the game. So I woke up from sleeping on that air mattress within the dream, actually remembering some dreams from within the dream, that I don't remember now. I asked someone what time it was, and they said it was 3 to 4 A M. I was thinking to myself, no way am I playing football at 3 to 4 A M. I guess that could cause cycle readjustment induced Lucid Dreams, but I would rather just dream and sleep now. No one really bothered me, and I think I fell back to sleep a little.

I think one of my dreams from this time around involved floating up around one of the walls at that place. It was kind of vivid at the time, but I felt I was watching a TV, not in a dream. Kind of weird to explain.

I woke up again, thinking it must be about 5 A M. All the guys from both teams were wearing pink shirts and black shorts. They had some water bottle things. They were all in line to use the shower, which was just the coach squirting soap on them (with clothes on) and then them standing in a beach shower type thing (with clothes on). I got up and I wanted to know what time it was. I also remember trying to journal my dreams in a sequential fashion, but thinking that i should really just let it all flow like I used to, without worrying about what order it all goes in. So I think I was seeing words on my phone screen appear that related to previous parts of this dream, maybe even parts I forgot upon physically awakening.

There were a lot of old school clocks around that said it was a little past seven A M, but I figured they must be an hour fast, or set wrong. I went to find my cell phone, which was a few feet from my air mattress. i realized how easy it would be for someone to have stepped on that. my phone said it was seven O seven A M, so, I figured somehow that was what time it was, and morning had come.

I thought of playing in the end of the game. I expected if I slept again, the coach would come and shake me, wake me up, and make me forget my dream anyway. So I felt angry about that if it were to happen.

This was when I collected that I must have somehow made the college football team. I also realized that I didn't have any pads to wear, or I couldn't remember where my pads were.

it was still kind of dark at this point, but getting light. I laid back down. I was thinking of hiding my mattress under the bleachers so the coach wouldn't see me sleeping. Then, since everyone had left the field to go to the showers, I was afraid that some hungry person would come along and mug me in my sleep, but i tried to relax anyway. Then, i felt hands on me, but it was my friend, Jeff T, although I am not sure why he touched me. He said he was looking for his friend and I rubbed his back before he moved on. No hard feelings. I rubbed the very middle of his back.

then, I got up and saw that the gates around the place were only made of bars, and someone could easily reach through and mug me through those gates. There were different kinds of gates and some that people could easily climb over, too. I hoped that there were more gates further out that were more secure.

I got up and in the middle of this one field kind of place, saw the janitor from my high school. He was very involved with the high school football team. He looked like him from a distance, but when he got closer, he looked like someone else. He had two dogs, a white one and a grey one, that came towards me. Their leashes kept extending and didn't stop them. They were nice dogs. The guy said something like, oh, and the name of a religion I grew up with. Like, oh, those people, kind of whimsically.

Next, I was walking to get some water or maybe brush my teeth. I had a cup of water that I was pouring into my mouth so as not to back wash. I heard some guys from the foot ball team getting pumped up by doing a rap. The guy said his position was called the height. I thought me meant guard or tackle, probably tackle. Then, he said a line about you better make good decisions, hedge 'em. I thought he was making a word play on hedge fund people, which seemed clever in some ways. There was a rap instrumental playing while he rapped.

Then, I was drinking my water, pouring it into my wide open mouth. A girl walked by and said something like, that was so not what I needed to see. I got angry because I felt insulted or embarrassed.

I walked out of the corridor I had been in and saw her walking by, so i went up to her. I had a change of heart and said, I am sorry if it bothered you to see my drink my water. And tried to make amends.

She said that if I had family troubles, I need to roast a lot of garlic. Suddenly, I had a big plate of garlic in front of me. It was all chopped and looked roasted, but I usually steam my garlic, so it was steamed. It varied between yellow and light golden brown in color. I said, yeah, I usually steam mine, but roasted is great, too. It was on a white cutting board. I offered her some. She kind of looked weirded out and walked further on.

Now it was indoors and it was a class room setting. That girl was sitting further up in the class and I was sitting around some other people. I remember there was some cool design to some of the buildings in this dream, but I forgot exactly what it was. But in this part, there was one red curtain, one green curtain, and in between them, a curtain that transitioned from green to red. I thought it looked really cool and was impressed by the color choices.

I think that was when I physically woke up for a moment, and thought I had woken up in the football field again. It took me a moment to realize I was in my physical bed, and piece it all together, but once I did, it made alot of sense. I am lucky I didn't move right away, thinking I hadn't dreamed. Within the dream, I remember waking up from one sleep feeling like I didn't dream. But this time, I definitely woke up with a big load of dreams.

I drifted back to sleep a little and saw a dream where I was laying inside this square thing. And there were kids looking in from above it. And then one of them kind of floated up into the sky.

I woke up and laid there, remembering as much as I could of it all. I stayed still a long time, thinking back through them, but I wondered if I stayed still even longer, if I would have remembered more. because I continued to remember even after I adjusted a little. And there was definitely plenty more to remember.

Just a note, from dream 1, there was a scene in which my town wanted to make it so that there was a fair or holiday in town on a Sunday. I didn't want this because it would make noise.

From this dream, I remember thinking that if the coach called on me to play football, I might be able to do well. Then, I realized I was scared to play because I was never good at hitting in high school. I was thinking of myself as more of a mascot on the side of the team, just sleeping. But if I slept through this game, the coach definitely wouldn't ask me to play in future games. So I was weighing it all in my head.















Round 4 of dreams.



Before I write these dreams, I also want to write that in my last round of dreams, there was this moment where I was walking around. And I saw the sky. And there was a huge light orange moon in the light bluish grey sky. And I thought to myslelf, oh, it is a full moon. No wonder my dreams have been so vivid. That image came to mind after a while of laying back down. I tried to visualize the bright moon to see if any other memories came up, but nothing did.

For this next round of dreams, I tried to do S S I L D. Basically I tried to focus on sense perceptions as I was falling asleep, sort of like a body scan. It helped me stay calm too I think.

I will try to get the dreams in the right order, even though I think I forgot a lot. I had all these packs of Pokemon cards. Actually, they were more like starter decks. Some of them said left and some said right. I took this to mean that some cards were left oriented and some were right oriented. I was looking for the ones that said left. One deck, a very cool Hydreigon and Water deck, had no such distinction. I went to open it, even though I hadn't bought it. I hoped the plastic would go back together like new, but it didn't. As I looked through the cards, I saw these different proxy card print outs that were two sided. And then the main cards. So there were two sided cards now. There were lots of other decks, too. I think I had stolen the box or was thinking of stealing it.

Then I was in this city place that transitioned from the Pokemon part. I was in some type of building and there was a stray cat running around. It ran all around and meowed a lot. I wanted to put out some milk for it. I was wearing my grey Pokemon shirt my sister got me in the dream. The cat came near me, so I wanted to play with him, or her. So I held out a part of my shirt, or a shoe or a hat or something, and the cat bit it ferociously. I got kind of scared, but then took my shirt off, to hold it out to the cat. I think it liked the attention. I think there was someone else who didn't want me entertaining the cat. This reminds me of waking life because we have stray cats around here. I always wan to help the stray cats and be nice to them but my Dad wants to keep them from feeling at home on our property. There might have been something to do with a janitor guy at this point. The stray cat was grey and white, like the stray cat I mainly see in the yard. It might be a house cat that just roams.

This next part was cool. I was checking out at the local convinience store and complaining about smoke. Then, the next time I was there, I was at the check out, buying some things. I gave the guy money because the register said 30 to 40 dollars. He said, sorry it is taking so long for you to get here, but a bunch of people just won the lottery. I was like, oh, great, good for them, I am not in a big rush. I usually try to take the pressure off people rushing because everyone always seems to be rushing. So then, he was saying I had won 80 dollars. And then I looked and saw that he had given me two 100 dollars bills and a 20. So I had gotten 220 dollars and I was afraid he over paid me. He said he was glad I won the lottery because I was complaining about the smoke and now that will give me something to be happy about. There were a lot of people on line behind me. They were asking me what lottery tickets I had bought, but I had no clue. I realized that I had no memory of buying any lottery. There was a long line of people behind me and I wanted to tell them all not to smoke.

The guy at the convinience store referred to me having been there earlier. Maybe that was where the Pokemon cards came from, or maybe it was just implanted context.

I am glad to remember what I remembered from these dreams. They were pretty cool. I like the S S I L D attempt because even if it doesn't work, it helps me relax until I actually fall asleep. I might go on to have a fifth dream tonight. I need to set the intention not to move after I physically awaken, because staying perfectly still gives me the best chance to think back through the dreams. But sometimes I have an urge to stretch immediately and I worry that it made me forget some dreams. This time I had to move my arm for some reason and I wonder if it affected anything.





















Round 5 of Dreams. .




Before I write dream 5 I want to mention that I had a dream flash last time which was of seeing my reflection in the dark. I saw my reflection in the dark and then realized it was a dream flash. My face kind of changed. It was my face with normal lighting only a black back ground. So there was my first moment of lucidity on this night.

Also, in the last round of dreams, there was something with my Mom and my Sister living with me.

This next round of dreams was interesting. I just kept laying in bed and having another dream. As I fell asleep, I tried to focus on body sensations like the feeling of my shoulder on the bed or the pillow on my head. I also had to try not to fidget so that I would fall asleep and not just keep fidgeting, which keeps me awake. I am surprised I slept so much since I had a 3 hour nap the day before, and I slept from like 8 P M to 6 A M except for being up to write dreams. But I am definitely awake a lot between laying there upon awakening to think through the dreams, writing them out, and then falling back a sleep.

I will try to put them in order as best I can.

First may have been there was an image of a continent of America. there was the little part where florida sticks off the bottom right, only it had to be rotated to be on the bottom left, or vice versa. As I did this, my blue tupperware lid had to be rotated.

There was another part where I was on the beach near my house cleaning some litter. This is something I have done in the past. This time there were a lot of workers from the town helping. There is this tall grey cement wall at the end of the beach that is where some houses are. A big truck from the town came to help pick up the garbage and I was looking at a big pile of plastic lids in the branches of the bushes, but didn't think i needed to clean them now that the truck was here. My Dads friend Jimmy B turned out to be there. It was kind of a big dumpster truck. Jimmy shook my hand, but i felt a pin prick in my hand when he did. I looked, and he had put some sort of vial in my hand with a little poker thing at the top. I thought he had injected me with drugs and I was going to be hooked now. I started to panic and wonder why he had done it. But then, I realized it was a dream. I don't think I really got to do much within the dream, but I did get a moment of realizing it was a dream, which is always good. I think I woke up shortly after for whatever reason.

There was an interesting part where I was with my Dad, but he was a funny cartoon villian like the Grinch or Plankton. The idea was that we were going to put a sign on someone's door that said, back in 15 minutes. This was going to trick them into thinking that it wasn't their house, or that they had to leave for 15 minutes. And then we could go in their house or something and eat cookies. So we teleported in and out of some houses doing this.

Then, we were in our old house on the numbered streets, and the front door was open. There were people coming to the door for something, and then going. We were having milk and cookies. I looked down the steps and saw a rabbit and a squirrel, one directly behind the other. It seemed a bit unusual to me, but I did not become lucid. There was some warning about the squirrel. I didn't heed it, and indeed, it bit me in the lower leg. I think my left leg. It bit me and then ran. I felt scared, like I would get infected, and need to go to the hospital. But I thought of how I didn' trust doctors, and so I would just keep quiet about it, and try to heal it with metaphysics. I thought of putting some milk out for the squirrel. I started to worry that the people who were visiting would be bit by the squirrel, and sue us. So then a court case kind of played out in my mind and I didn't want to go to court. I didn't know what to do. I was pacing around the kitchen with my feet in the tiles, which I sometimes do when I am nervous.

I woke up between each of these, so maybe they are separate dreams. But I just stored them in my mind and let myself drift to sleep again. I was surprised I built up so many dreams doing this.

There was another part of the dreams in which two kids were getting power ranger outfits. One kid had pink panks with a stripe down the side with white, black and gold. The other kid, I forgot what color pants he got, maybe black. They were both sweat pants. Then, they bought this shirt thing that connected their upper bodies side to side, so that they had four legs, two arms and two heads. And they were pretending to be a two headed power ranger and going around the parking lot. This took place near the Rite Aid parking lot off of Forest Avenue. They didn't attack anyone, but just walked around the parking lot playing like a two headed power ranger. I think they also had masks. This part may have been connected to the part with the continent I mentioned earlier.

There was another part at my house where I live now. Something in the hallway or the bathroom. Maybe someone in the bathroom behind a closed door. I think there was something with voices coming from the bathrooms, like there was someone in all of them. There was an interesting part with my Sister that I wonder if I will remember. But in this one part, I had to keep doing a lot of laundry. I think I had a girlfriend in the dream who was visiting, and we both needed clothes cleaned constantly. I didn't like doing so much laundry due to the water bill, but i had to gather the clothes and go do it. For some reason I was washing my gym shorts for the both of us that we had just worn, then washing gym shorts for us to have for when those got dirty.

This part with my sister was cool. She was drawing something on some paper. It was like a person or something, I forget exactly what. Actually, now that I think about it, there was a lot more to this scene, but it seems vague. I drew some additional stuff on her picture, or made my own. It was something about her drawing a girl, because she liked to draw girls, and then me adding a huge monstrous bicep, which we joked about. I would always say, you know what she needs? A giant bicep. But there was a lot more to this scene that I just can't put my finger on. There was something about the paper folded into quadrants. Something tells me I got lucid in this dream, but tried to act like I didn't know it was a dream, but it is all vague. This was one that didn't even come to mind as I laid down. Maybe when I lay back down, more will be revealed.

The last dream I had in this series involved going into the same Rite Aid from before and looking for some kind of soap. I discovered that I had a mouse pointer that super imposed on the physical world and I could click objects and copy paste them. I was not aware I was dreaming, but I was able to do this. So what I did was I went up to some of the soap I needed and tried to copy paste it. At first, it didn't work. We had gone back from the register to the store once I found out about this ability because I thought it would be easier to multiply the physical items than to buy new ones. I had some trouble copy pasting my bottle of soap I wanted at first, and thought I had lost the ability. But then, I was suddenly able to do it again. I had to right click and then scroll on the menu to copy, then paste. It can't be this easy, I thought to myself. I pasted it twice, and two new ones appeared, but each had a ripped message paper on it saying that it didn't have a bar code in the store. I figured this meant I either had to walk out with it concealed or tell them it didn't correspond to any bar code in the store so they could put it in the system and charge me. But now, there was another affect of using this ability. Effect. Affect. Offect. Uffect. Whichever one. When i used my copy paste ability, a guy would come in on the other side of the shelf. He showed me a pad full of really cool graphic letter designs. They were on a little 3 by 5 memo pad. he had outlined some in black and colored them with some sparkly red and blue colored pencils. I remember the last one he showed my sister and I said THERE D going down the page. I turned the page and expected it to say THERE DEAD but instead the next page said the word unemployed. Those were more just drawn in pencil. I saw on the next page there was a 20 dollar bill stuck to the page as if it had been used for a collage. I think the guy was there to monitor my use of the ability. I was complimenting him on his art. The dream ended around there. He had darker skin than me.

I am also getting this idea that I had a dream about some caves, similar to the goonies. But i can't remember much about if specifically. That's okay, I got a lot more than I expected. I did my best to stay perfectly still, and my mind was not that groggy any more since it was around sun rise that I was doing these chain of dreams. So I could think about them pretty clearly once I woke up from them. But I didn't get a lot of lucidity.

The sun is pretty much up now. I doubt I would fall back asleep if I tried, but I always hope I would sleep again, and have more dreams.

Dreams from October 8 to 9, 2017

This was one of my first Lucids of considerable length, toward the end. It was pretty exciting and encouraging.

Round 1 of Dreams

My Sister is over for a visit. I am trying to copy paste 4 columns. Something becomes too Satanic and I stop. I am in the downstairs bathroom deciding. Satan has a darth Maul face. Guy in T C G One-ish chat room asking me to play, and if I will eat these cookies. I hear I say no. I try to explain that I can't due to addiction. I hear the word "cigarette" and I see smoke coming in. It seems to be coming through a sealed door. What does it mean? Dream sign: Seeing smoke but not smelling it. I get upset. There are two faced Eckhart Tolle masks.

Round 3 of Dreams

There is lots of nasty water on the floor. Cleaning loads of nasty dishes with (removed by me). Stack of lost cell phones. (removed by me)So tired now. I think something woke me up. I feel some terror. Tired.

Round 4 of Dreams
(removed by me)Dream sign: Mom and Dad being together.
(removed by me)Something so scary, I can't pay attention.

(removed by me)


I am awake now. Dammit, I am awake now. I wonder if I should try to D J or just go back to sleep. I am so tired. I hear the noise of a plane overhead. I am angry.

Round 5 of Dreams: Justified Timetude, L D

I become lucid by paying attention to some written words. In my physical body, I am laying on my front. I start to have a dual body awareness of being in my bed, on my front, but also eating these chicken drum sticks at the same time, laying in my front. I worry that moving my arms will wake me up, but then I realize it is actually a dream. (removed by me)

I am eating chicken drum sticks out of big yellow and green bowls in the kitchen. There are thighs and wings in there, in a brown sauce. I am enjoying them. Eventually my Dad says they are old and I kind of throw them out or move on from eating them. I am eating the ones in the green bowl even though it is tipped over. I realize they could be months old.
(removed by me)

I'm at the kitchen sink, trying to do reality checks and stay lucid, and not wake up. I am worried about running out of time, or the dream ending. I affirm, "I HAVE INFINITE TIME!" while looking at the brown counter top. This seems to help.

Mom's Milanos are on the table. Woo hoo! I am excited about all this dream food. I am eating some. They are very soft. I want to save some for her.

I decide to make more of the dream. I picture the local market in my mind. I figure I will walk around the block, and go eat anything I want.

My Mom is in the living room. She is standing near the couch. She looks sad. I am pretty driven to get to the market, so I don't interact with her much. (I felt bad about this upon awakening.) She has a part of a pop tart in her hand.

The ceiling above the couch near the bay window is dripping. I am worried and want to fix it. Then I just let it go. I do move some stuff out of the way of the drip though. There is one orange vase I do something with.

Even within the dream, I have a sense of only having limited money. I want to ask if my Mom wants anything, but I think that will limit me from getting what I want.

As I think of leaving the house, I am aware that anything could happen in the dream. I could run into someone at the store. It could be a wild dinosaur world out there. That makes me hesitate to leave.



I also wrote that the bed changed places at least 3 times.

I think the idea of going to the market gave me a lot of anxiety within the dream.

In my room, I see an app on my phone called Justified Timetude. It has a battery icon but one of the sides is slanted. There is a percentage full bar in there that shows it being about half way, with half being green and half being black.

I think I remember seeing my desk underneath the window in my room. What I definitely remember is opening the window, punching out the screen window, and kind of rolling out to the front of the house. Then, I guess I got scared and ran back in through the front door, and back around to my room. Some of the sequence seems jumbled. I used to do the dream journals in more of a stream of consciousness format, without as much regard for the sequence. Now when I think through it in my head, I sequence it in my mind, before recording it.

I wake up saying, "I am still..." Because I think I was saying, "I am still dreaming", to myself in the dream.

Notes

It seemed like my Fii Write file cut off in the middle of a word. Was some of the original document lost? I hope not. It was only 4:15 A M when I finished that D J entry so there could have been room for one more.

I am actually posting this on March 12 of 2018 but the dreams themselves were from October 6 and 7 of 2017. I am just typing up from older notes.

Dreams from night of October six to seven, 2017

I made a note, after round one of dreams, 2 self tired.

Round 2 of Dreams

Map of day? Showing a family's events. Thing in mall?

Standing near Pokemon Booth. Waiting for a print out. B D. I know I attracted attention.

A plug in a shower faucet. I am plugging a different plug into a. It has an extra power plug?

Cage thing. Now I am running late.

Needing an injection? A guy is screaming.

Mom is with someone. C? I am on the phone with her. Are they smoking? We seem to be at Nana's house.

Round 3 of Dreams

A cat thing was jumping up and biting me. It didn't really hurt but it was weird. I put out some milk for it, to distract it.

I was tired while writing those.

Round 5 of Dreams

I am at the beach at the end of my home town, where they have the football field and the tunnel that goes to the other beach, walking by the drive way in. Someone is smoking. I want to yell at them, but I hold my breath. I run away toward the turtle habitat and avoid the smell.

People trying to look bigger than they are using smaller clothes.

It is 7:58 A M. I am missing the men's meeting! I dial in. G, M, and J's voices? Now the clock says 9:01. It has skipped an hour. I think to myself. Oh, well, at least I can catch the meeting on Sundays.

There are Pokemon on a screen. I see a new fire and water Pokemon.

There is a place to go where it spirals down and I have to jump down the center. It is supposed to be magic. There are no beams. I wonder how they got it to spiral around like that. It is a magical place where if you die, you don't feel any pain, and you immediately incarnate back to where you jumped from with no time having passed. But what is the thing about jumping down? There is a certain layer that you jump to and then I guess you get some powers.

(5 months later I definitely remember that part. It had a very cool feel to it. I remember green grass and blue water when I looked down, I think. And just a very bright and positive feeling. )

We are all around the table. Mom, Dad, Sister and I. Dad is talking about buying more stuff. I am trying to warn him not to stupidly use a credit card. My red debit card falls out. Dad has already bought us all some stuff.

Notes

5 months later, I can remember how I had so many more fragments. I can see how my recall has improved. The paradise dream thing still gives me a warm feeling when I think about it. I had totally forgot about that until I reviewed this entry, so it shows the importants of reviewing old D J's.

Dreams from October five to shix, 2017

I had one lucid dream on this night. I would title the night of dreams as a whole, "escaping with phone, back row anemia, giraffe pillow."

Firehouse

I was pulling out of the local fire house. I had no seat belt. I had a white pillow over my chest. In my convertible. The driver side door was open. A police officer came up. "Why no seatbelt? Because it is too high?" I felt fear I would get a ticket. Having been parked facing out also may have been trouble there as they have a rule there, "head in parking only."

Mix of Fragments

I lost a lot of these details due to needing to pee. So I will just write them in one heading instead of as multiple dreams, even if they were.

Box of comic books. Kids getting off a school bus.

There was something with a Pokemon who required 2 "light energy" to do an ability called "Pick Up".

Guy telling me to say his name when he wasn't there. Walking by a patch of grass.

Older woman walking with a cat?

Woods?

I was blending bananas and walnuts together in a food processor. The grey knob turned the food processor to a higher setting. They looked yummy. But I did not have time to eat them. My sister was in it. Something about 1:30 P M, watching a clock, no food on the boat...

Rich D R F type guy (owner of restaurant I worked at). Going on a boat. Making all these lions and tigers fight but they faked it? One lion put his fang on another lions head but he didn't clamp down. I remember the fang.

Text from Justin or Allen?

Some vague website.

Help from people in food program?

I was driving somewhere and had a sense of needing some "me time" (i. e. using my voice memo method to think out loud) but I felt I couldn't get away long enough to get some time to myself. I was driving down B Avenue from L V.

Something about an alarm clock cutting my sleep short, but for no reason. I was like, "Huh? Since when do I use alarm clox?"

Round 3 of dreams

It was 1:30 P M and was now 8:30 A M in the dream. I was going to a 9 A M class. I overheard C M and Jesse talking about big book. First I passed by, then stopped and said, yeah, I heard that, too. I questioned if I should interject that into their conversation, But decided, that yes, I should. J was my sponsor. (I also wrote fuzzy wuzzy was a bear in my dream journal, was that from a dream, or just a note to self?)

I needed my giraffe pillow. I got it and then went hyperspeed up stairs.

There was this slanted funny side walk kind of warped. I was driving down it trying to park. I was looking for the ramp to drive down. It was slanted diagonally but hard to put into words. So I was confused about how to drive down it.

A red truck was parked horizontal in a few spaces. Or a mini van. There didn't seem to be any room for my car. I felt it symbolized something in my waking life where there was no room for me in a group I was trying to attend.

Round 4 of Dreams.

Blue Tray of Gasoline. It didn't smell bad. It was in my room and bathroom. Like a yellow oil.

Program speaker. M was the host and spoke a little after the speaker about honesty or being sick. People on gameboys and anemic looking people were in the back row. They had freckles and were kind of blood shot. Pale skinned. I don't know if that is the correct usage of anemic but thats the word that came to mind when I saw

In another part I was running from someone who was considered to be the head mistress. I tried to teleport away with my phone as the teleportation device. Instead of teleporting us, it made is invisible. My friend and I. I felt a lot of fear, and didn't want to get caught. So it was kind of a panicking moment. My friend had a phone out and I thought, "That's a special kind of phone! We can use it to escape!" Then we used it to escape. Then I saw a hologram of 2 girls walking. I felt more lucid then. I was trying to stabilize the dream. Then I was up again, and laying there. Then I saw a smiley face. Then I woke up. I set an intention to have an L D in round 3 of dreams but had it this time. Still, very cool. One of my early ones.

Dreams from October forph to fif, 2017

I only remembered a small fragment the first time I woke up.

Buying Water

This was one of those longer dreams with more of a story. So my memory of it started with me spilling these chocolate circles at the intersection of first avenue and my old block. A guy in the truck headed for the main road, L Avenue, was about to smoke a cigarette. He yelled out the window, "You dropped your candy!" in the dream, I don't remember tasting them.

I walked further down near Gus'. I had my phone and was trying to make a voice memo. I didn't have a headset so I was going to hold it up with my hand.

I went into this bar or shop thinking I was going to get Reeses Cups. I was thinking of what my friend Kim had said about G M O that day. I was thinking, "what am I doing, buying all this candy?" and "Now I am addicted". Even a dollar 75 felt like a lot of money to me in the dream.

There were two guys I ran into after being in the neighbors back yard. There was a lot of drilling there. I started to yell at them, then crawled under their fence. I actually had a conversation with the neighbor about how I had a 3 day weekend. And he had 3 days straight of work at the deli this weekend.

I was telling the two guys, while we stood on the corner of the side walk, that I have been caffeine free for 3 and a half years. They were impressed. I heard something that made me want a water instead of some other beverage I was going for. I think I was about to have a beverage with caffeine, like a soda, but having the chance to tell them about my caffeine abstinence helped a lot. I was trying to think of how I quit caffeine and stayed off it.

I went into the bar or shop place and my friend W N was there. Dream W N scolded me about my "belligerent behavior another night" but I had no idea what he was talking about. He was standing with two people.

I walked away to find the fridges to buy a water from. There were some fridges with all different beverages. I was going to have my water rung up at the bar.

2 young blonde girls, a young boy and their Dad approached me.

As I walked back to ring up my drink, the line was so long. I tried to go behind the bar but remembered, "Wait, you don't work here!"

There were Pokemon shirts all around. Some online link to "transcribe"? A green version of J T was scolding me on Face Book.

There was something about "You could write the name Robot [in script] on the sidewalk". Girls touching me.

E R's Facebook

I wanted to look up a past G F's facebook. I was wondering how I would make it work though? With no job and no money.


Beast Peace

I was seeing a beast wars guy. His animal form was a bird. He was switching between bird mode and bot mode. I was tired when I got up to journal these.

Soccer Ball

My friend P C had a deflated soccer ball. I was upset with him about something. What was it? Like, keep your damn ball! I was around fences at the O B soccer field.

Bank

I felt like I was escaping the bank. It was where the bank is in my town, but like a Bank of America. I remember the color red. Outside the bank was a big box of chocolate entenmanns kind of stuff.

Parking Car

L from my first job out of college was there. Kid in grocery store. I left the red Subaru overnight somewhere. I was afraid it would have been towed but he L was like, "No, it should be fine." I remember a funny diagonal kind of parking spot. We were near the milk in the food store.

Painty Pants Panic

I was going up the stairs of an auditorium. When I got up to the top, I went over a rail and into the hallway. Somewhere along the way I got white paint on my clothes. I went into the bathroom and saw this. I hoped I could wash it off with water. I felt panic! Like, "Oh, no, my new jeans!" So the dream assumed that I had bought new jeans.

Tomato Party

I was walking around the corner of first ave and seventeenth, and from this one house on the corner I kept hearing "Tomato Party". I wanted to know more about the "Tomato party" even though I wasn't interesting in attending. L O L, Tomato party.

Inside the house, there was a guy who looked like the guy who lost his teeth in Hangover 2. His face was all cut up and he was singing, "I'm fine" while belting out chords on a guitar. It looked like he had that halloween wounding stuff on his face, like when they have those fake bloody gashes for halloween make up. Within the dream I sensed the juxtaposition of the song lyrics about being "fine" and the person's costume of woundedness. It seemed intentional.

There was a big grey storage bin and a back pack. There were 5 pairs of shoes. There were some 3 inch notebooks and black composition books. I looked into the box and maybe cracked one open, but didn't read them in any detail. I felt time pressure because I was at a stranger's house, somewhat uninvited. And they were getting all ready to go to this gig or "tomato party" thing. One guy there was like Jesse from full house. They were suspicious that I was stealing from them.

Then I was sitting in this red recliner chair playing a video game. Luigi grew and exploded. There were one ups after beating the boss. I realized I hadn't asked permission to play their game. I was going to apologize to them and acknowledge that I hadn't asked permission yet, but decided not to.

Notes

I am glad I wrote these dreams down. I certainly wouldn't think of them off the top of my head, but reading them 5 months later, I remember them well.

Dreams from October 3 to 4, 2017

I think I had some previous dream journal entry dates off by a day or two. As of today I am more sure they are accurate.

Guitar Advice

I was at my college fraternity house. A guy asked me for advice. He was trying to learn a difficult song. Instead of inner critic advice, I was going to try to give Loving Parent advice. Meaning more nurturing than critical. I was going to mention a men's coach experience with T L. There didn't wind up being any follow up on that, though.
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There was something about Audacity's "tempo" only going to 60 or 75. And another program having a wider range of tempo selections. At a certain Kilobytes per second. I commented in my D J entry that the numbers werent realistic ranges.

On the way to give advice I got side tracked with taking a bath. I had no where to put my retainer.

Blenders

I kept spilling my spinach shake and decided to stop using the blenders.

Kitchen

My Dad was taking the air conditioners out. In the kitchen there was a cabinet of seasonings. But not quite enough room for them all. There were liquor bottles with price tags. Mom wanted them, but to ignore the price tags.

Class

I was in a school and/or class room. A girl (M R?) said something about hard work. Something about making a copy.

Searching near Tree

I was searching around for a bag of hearbs near the base of a tree. I found a ziploc bag with a black sock. It has a little grass in it, but no herbs.

Do you want to talk to me or what?!

My friend S S seemed like he wanted to talk to me. He said something about a 3:30 A M call. He was wearing a light grey shirt.
I followed him all the way up to his train, but couldn't keep up. I wondered why he wouldn't let me keep pace. I caught up with him at his train. I asked him, "Wait, do you wanna talk?" It turned out he didn't.

Evening at College

My friend C V had a back pack on. Going home? It was the first couple weeks of a college semeter. Him going home so soon to see his family made me think of family values. He actually wanted to be with his family, where as I didn't even want to go home for holidays. I guess I felt some grief about this.

Another guy was packing his stuff up to go home, too. He had on some interesting kind of costume.

There was a party at my college fraternity but no one was in either of the main party rooms. I was looking for a girl I was trying to hang out with.




[b]Tipping too much[/b[

I was sitting at a table with Y J and two others. Y J put down 10 dollars. I put down 10. Someone else put 5. I regretted putting too much. There were more dreams in this sleep cycle but I lagged in getting to the dream journal, so I probably forgot them. At the time, I wasn't able to think about my dreams upon awakening. It only worked if I got up to write.

Notes

This night I only got up once to dream journal, slept again, and then it was 6:20 A M. That means I slept through the night more than usual. That tends to be weird since usually I dream a lot and am aware of a lot of them. I felt dream deprived and it made me take a look at some of my habits I had had lately.

Dreams from the night of October 1 to October 2.

I am going back through my hand written dream journals and typing them up for review. Also I hope to have an LD count by the time I'm done going through these.

Paper Plate Dog mask

My mom's friend had this dog mask thing with orange glasses. It was made of a paper plate. Like a wolf's face drawn onto a paper plate with orange glasses on the wolf. The idea was that people would forget how to make this craft, and it was hard to scan and replicate. Someone was driving with it on.

Rapper with Sterno Gun

A well known rapper had a gun. But it was loaded using sterno base things like they have at buffets.

Job Search

I was looking up ads to be a "personal aide" but it seemed there was some kind of innuendo involved. It was day time.

Significant Romance Dream

I was in this room with two beds and a fridge in the middle of them I think. I was listening to some heavy metal music. It was the same music I hear in my head but can't find the actual song of. Maybe my own original music of my soul, if only I could play well enough. I didn't know it was a dream, so I was thinking, oh, wow, I found it! It was kind of Joe Satriani style.

A woman appeared in the room. We were opening a fridge. Then, I was in a bed and she same and spooned with me. It was a very intimate feeling but we didn't do anything not child friendly.

I think I realized it was a dream and stabilized myself with some words that were written on the wall. It was all not really understandable, but I was really staring at them, trying to memorize them. The mental focusing and visual focusing helped me stay in the dream. But I couldn't recall the words upon awakening. It was like a Wikipedia page. While I was reading it, I realized I was dreaming, and the previous parts had been a dream.

I wrote a message to the woman on the wall. The wall was yellow. I wrote in teal on a silver circuit breaker. I remember the message but I will save it for my private notes because it was personal.

A dog was also into the room and came into the bed with us to snuggle. I also noted that the woman was wearing navy blue. The dream was very vivid.

Someone else came in the room. The lights got brighter and I looked for my orange glasses. For a moment, I didn't have them on. I worried about the melatonin suppression for it being night time.

Please Refrain from Dissing my Sister

This was a longer dream that took place at my Nana's house. In her living room and ground floor areas mainly. I was sitting on the couch with the woman from the previous dream and another guy. He was in the middle couch, and the woman and I were in chairs on either side of the couch. The guy was a bit heavier and wearing a funny hat. He was a video game sprite designer.

We were playing on a Sonic Level with invincibility. Someone was saying, "You can't do that". I think what happened was we lost invicibility going over some spikes and lost all those rings or coins. Then Sonic and Tails looked tired. For that time the video game was on "full screen" on the "dream screen".

When it pulled away, we were still on the couch. I asked the guy if he designed Pokemon Sprites. I forgot if he answered, but I felt so excited to hang out with a real video game sprite designer! At the same time, because he had a more advanced career than me, I was afraid he would draw the woman away from me. So I felt insecure especially about my career not measuring up to his.

When he asked me what I did, I didn't say much. Probably just a vague kind of reply. I wanted to tell him about my Fii Note, but in the dream, it was just a regular white board. So, it didn't seem very special. In waking life I had just got a new app called Fii Write that I was really excited about, so that carried into my dream.

Then my sister was walking through the room. She had got a gift for having been sober a year. It was a white board, folded up and wrapped in plastic, with a marker. She goes, "That's all I got?" in dissappointment.

Then the video game designer guy began to mock her, repeating, "That's all I got?!" over and over. I was angry. "How dare he mock my sister?" So I started to squeeze his neck. His neck actually squished a lot in my hand, like soft material. But he didn't die. I was really angry.

I took the guy out into my Nana's ground floor hallway and threw him over the railing down into the den. Then, I got a long metal poker, like a chimney poker, and stabbed him with the sharp end as he lay there in a fetal position.

Then I turned to my left and his father had just come in. His father had this big crazy weapon thing. My Dad was at the little table at the top of the stairs to the den, bending down to go through some sort of box. I hid behind my Dad, hoping he would protect me. The guy's Dad was angry at me for hurting his son and was going to retaliate. I realized that I had a little knife. I thought that his Dad might hurt my Dad since my Dad seemed oblivious to what was going on, as a way to get revenge. I tried to grab the guy's giant pocket knife chain saw thing with my hand. I felt lots of fear. That was when I woke up.

Once I was awake, I reflected on what I could have done if I had become lucid.

I want to shower

I was showering slowly in the upstairs bathroom of 15 Swoo. Someone else wanted to shower. They wanted me to finish my shower later. But they said they were going to wait three minutes before their shower. So I said I would finish my shower before the three minutes were up.

While I was trying to shower, there was some annoying drilling. I looked outside. It was coming from some kind of T V out front. I wrote "I thought to go write". Was that in the dream?

Vague Conflict

The dream was about a conflict with someone I was afraid would catch up with me. But I didn't remember the details.

Pool

I was on a treadmill near the entrance to the pool. It was 10 A M. I saw my friend Alex and asked him if the pool was open. I was writing in Green. I went down to the locker room. I couldn't find which lock was mine. All these different locks, but where was mine? I was thinking I could swim without needing audio, but what about my left shoulder?

Food Dream

There was something about one of the brown dessert foods they give to the kids at Easter. And an innuendo relating it to poop.

Notes

When I look back at these dreams 5 months later, I can remember how excited I was to have a little bit of lucidity and a really vivid dream. I think I woke up from the conflict dream with lots of adrenaline in my system. At the time I would use the MILD technique to imagine what I could have done if I became lucid in certain dreams.

Dreams from September 30 to October first.

T Rex

From first round of dreams, we remembered, Something about a T Rex. Something about driving somewhere.

Too Tired to Help

In the second round of dreams, I was in this big field with crops. I couldn't plant any plants. I felt too sad and tired. No one was pushing me to work though. Lots of plants were in planters to be planted, but I couldn't help at the moment. Different kinds. Green plants. Square, black planters. I wrote that I could have become lucid and used telekinesis to plant them all. 5 months later, my dream abilities are still not THAT good! But I can see the progress.

Map

There was something about a map of the upstate New York area. It said, Troy, Schenectady, Rensselaer on it.

Fragment

Something about working in a restaurant.

Chair

I was using a chair to get up. I was kneeling in front of it and pushing myself up on it. I still remember a lot of these 5 months later.
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When I got up from the chair, I saw a girl eating a donut. Lots of kids were sitting around a table. There was an open chair between a girl I wanted to sit near and R S. I heard the phrase, "Say the adjective just as loud as the word." I wrote, this wasn't that interesting.

Language Concept

There was this concept of teaching someone a subject in a language they didn't know. But don't teach them the language until a year later. It seemed funny at the time.

Dopamine Concept

There was something about a personal brain dopamine meter, like how diabetics have blood sugar meters, people could have dopamine meters. This could help them monitor their excitement levels.

Notes

We wrote that the styluses falling costed us some recall time. And that we need to get to the dream journal as fast as possible. This was when our method was to spring out of bed as soon as we awoke and write. But by the time we move so much to get to the chair, we can lose a lot of details. Now, we stay still and recall it before going to whatever recording method we are using at the time.

Oil Stain Anxiety

My Asian friend A S was eating and his white shirt had a big oil stain on the front. We were in the back patio of my college fraternity house, at one of the picnic tables. I wanted him to go clean it off, and he did. I was really nervous it would permanently stain his shirt if he didn't clean it. He changed his shirt, and now, it wasn't stained any more. I was really happy about this.

Fragment

My friend Jon had long hair and was sitting in chairs with some other friends from high school.

Noise Nuisance

I had my bin with the decibel defense head set in it. I was going through one bin, trying to find them, when I realized that they were in the other bin. It was day time outside. I was annoyed by the sound of a weed whacker.
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I was writing in Fii Note while I ate.

Fragment

Something about, kids to chaperone, and a woman who wanted turkeys.

Different Bedrooms

This next part was more detailed of a dream scene. It took place in the room I lived in Sophomore year of college. Room 3. My bedrooms were changed and now they had special bedding. One had a green bed. My Aunt C and Nana were there. I was worrying they may have been smoking in the rooms. One room was beige. One was tan with a green bed like a short bunk bed with green and yellow felt sheets. There was a rectangular king sized bed in the room, too. Lots of beds.

In the physical room at college, there was a closet next to the room. But in the dream, that closet was a whole nother bedroom off to the side.

When I walked out, my Dad was upset. He was on the phone outside the front door. It seemed to be about money. I wanted to go hug him and help him not be upset.


Sun was coming in the window in a square pattern. It made a yellow square on the floor. I was with a group of guys and we were comparing how many "jelly rolls" our stomachs made, or flaps of adipose tissue. I had more than the other guys.


Freedom of Speech?

Someone said i could say whatever I want. So I cursed out this lady. The words were "F You, B" but the real words. Nothing bad happened at all. She had no reaction or anything.

More Noise Problems

A land scaper truck was in the road in front of my house. I was talking to the guy, trying to see if they could make less noise. It wasn't a big fight that time though.

Notes

I remember most of these dreams.

This is from going over old notes and typing it up in a neater format months later.

September 29, 2017 to September 30, 2017.

I forgot these dreams at first, until I laid back down from trying to write them. Then, they came back to mind.

There was a part where no one wanted to hear my raps.

Turtle, turtle, turtle, who needed a bigger shell. I got him a new one from another organism that was blue. It had top and bottom segments you could take apart.

There was a magazine with an Egyptian thing in a stack of wicker baskets. Some kind of waiting room or lobby.

Going downstairs to play video game. It was a 3 player game. My friend G F as well as girls were there too. Something about a beige carpet. Months later, some dreams I don't see as clearly.

Then I wrote, trapped in a building. Couldn't get out. Brown doors. Some teacher guy?

As I write it, it comes to me!

A meeting with a guy with a big hat. Great memory!







This dream I remember vividly. There was a black centipede thing in this spider web. It was tremendous. I tried to grab a stick. It had sharp legs. It turned slowly out from its web thing to look at me. As it did this it seemed to grow. I turned to run away. As I ran, I felt very sluggish and slow, like I weighed a lot, or my legs were stuck to the ground. I felt stuck. I felt lots of fear that the big centipede monster would catch up to me and attack or something. This sense of running but being stuck in place triggered lucidity somehow. I think I realized I was dreaming and flew up. 5 months later, I can't quite remember exactly what happened. maybe the dream just jumped to a new scene. But it was one of my earlier lucid dreams and a cool way to get lucid. I know I flew later though and I think it had to do with this "spark" of lucidity.

Something with T S. Are you righty or lefty? A tear down his fathers eye. T S almost falling backwards down stairs. I had gone to where T S was to look for his father. I got the sense that his father didn't like me talking to him. T S wanted to learn to write. I think I wanted to help. T S is somewhere further along the autism spectrum but I always saw him as a whole and complete person. There was something with their family having library books on the table. I remember doing something with the pile of library books. I think this was a lucid part of the dream where I felt like I was being helpful.

I forgot if anything happened next. I found myself outside and flew into the air! One of my early lucid flying experiences. I flew up by kind of seeing the map beneath me zoom out. Like somehow imagining the ground beneath me getting smaller could make me fly. For a moment, my sister was with me. I was carrying her through the sky as I flew. I have had many lucid dreams where my sister appeared and I tried to help her with dreaming skills. So I made it so the back yard got very small. Then I saw its outline. Someone on the ground was yelling at me as I ascended higher and higher. I remember this was interesting to me as maybe it was a part of my consciousness afraid to go further into lucid dreaming. I still have a fear of flying in lucid dreams actually for various reasons. Either I think it will wake me up, or I think the dream police will come get me. It has been about 6 months now and I hope to move past that fear so I can enjoy flying in L D's. Flying in lucid dreams is probably symbolic and so part of my dream journey is to clear things that block me from flying freely.

One dream detail was something in a state park place. I don't remember more about this one.

I dreamed of my orange glasses. I kept dreaming that I couldn't find my Decibel Defense headset, and there was leaf blower noise. I think I remember this dream. I was at a desk in my room toward the end of the day.

Later in the dream, my phone kept changing to these blue port window things. Not the default Operating System. I kept feeling my physical body, then thinking, "No, stay in this dream." This happened on the time when we ate the blue things, too.

I guess there were more parts I forgot. Then I flew up into this attic loft. I was trying to summon a wummon. I was lucid. I tried twice to close my eyes and make her appear. I hadn't learned about thinking the person will be behind me or around the corner yet, so i was trying to make them appear in front of me. I noted that this was the same attic loft that I made the blue blocks turn into food and ate them.

There was also a bit about adding table sugar, which I never ear, to a batch of brown rice and beans, which I eat almost every day. I tasted it and worried, thinking I would have to throw out the batch, due to the sugar. That dream detail came to mind after I laid back down. I had a high success rate at the time with remembering a dream detail the next time I woke up if I fell asleep without writing it.

In the next "round of dreams", I didn't remember any at first. I knew I slept and I knew I dreamed though, so tried. I remembered that my friend A R was hammering trees with a metal spike pick.
There was a red You Tube button that fell off this wall near a ramp we were walking along. Something about we couldn't have it. It was like this red knob that fell down.

It seemed weird that I couldn't remember any of these dreams. Something with a guy from school who worked with computers. I wrote, "Something about boys?"

My sister's phone number had 3 extension digits after it.

We were at a sink and 2 girls were complaining about how much soap we were using. I said, I don't normally use that much, but it is really dirty. I had a tupperware and two sponges, one with Scotch Brite pad.

What happened during this dream recall was that it was around 7 in the morning. I was trying to recall the dreams as I sat in my chair. I think some time had already passed since waking up but I was able to keep digging back for one more detail, and another, by sort of hyper focusing on the visual of the last detail I got. Then others would pop up around it. I broke this one by answering the phone, and couldn't get back to it. Who knows what else I would have remembered! Every dream detail matters, and now, I definitely don't even turn the phone on at all until I have remembered my dreams in full.

Notes. That was exciting to go back through these. The story of remembering the dream is just as much a story as the dream itself.

I am going over DJ entries from the end of september last year. Then I will be able to have them more neatly formatted. It was really interesting to look back on these and I look forward to going over others.



September 28, 2017 to September 29, 2017, Dream Recall.

The night began by us losing a dream by laying down too long. We wrote that we need to get up and write the dream down as soon as we become awake. Then, I D K, I know it is hard, because you need sleep, too.

Next dream. A guy who drank liquor and then would hypnotize people and eat them. But then he lived with people who helped him stop, like an old people's resort. Is there anything else you remember? That was a good one. No, not really. Oh, wait... Well, just some Pokemon card type of scenario. Oh well. Maybe next time. Okay, Inner Child. Thanks! Z Z Z...

Next dream. I was lucid and flying around making moves on the ladies but then didn't. I decided not to make moves on the ladies in L D world. So, I kept flying around, seeing girls but I was just letting them be. There was a girl by a window. I was looking around there for my tan couch cushion I use as a pillow. She seemed to feel like she was in my way. I told her, no, you don't have to move.

Next dream. I was on a wobbly dock near W H Beach. The dock was slippery and wobbly. There was something with Jay's voice playing, from the noon meeting. My two couch pillows and the blue raft were floating away or blowing away. The water was choppy, and it was windy. I felt scared. "Why did I go on this dock?" I thought. I kept thinking I want to save those pillows, because there are no other pillows like them. But I was afraid if I reached in for them, my phone might fall in the water. So I sort of watched them float away. I thought perhaps I really have four of those pillows, and the other two were still at home. In waking life, I only have two. My blue blow up raft was stuck in a silver hand rail, between that and something else. But it was slowly slipping and blowing away. I couldn't save any of it. I tasted salt water at one point. I am not sure why, but I climbed up this white ladder type of thing. It was made of white beach chair material. Then, I couldn't get down. I am sure there is some symbolism in this dream. The emotions had to do with loss.

Next dream. I was near the kitchen sink at my current house listening to a Young Jeezy rap. It was about stopping the crack game. I had a sad realization about it. Like that the rappers caused lots of people to be addicted to crack in the first place. Now they were making money off motivating people to quit. Not sure if this pertains to what is going on in the physical world.

Next dream. There was a dream I had about some friends from college. We were sitting in a circle. I was in a blue blanket.

Next dream. A man came into my room, telling me about a web site he had made with his son. I was letting him use my computer to work on the web site, but expected him to be quiet. When he kept going on and on, I felt angry. I was trying to dream journal. He kept trying to talk to me and I angrily yelled, "GET OUT!" . As he left, he slammed the door behind him. I felt bad because my Dad was in the house and would either be woken up or disturbed by the commotion. The man's headset got stuck in the door behind him. I also smelled cigarette smoke as he was leaving, which added to my anger. I felt scared that he would come back angry and hurt me. So I felt angry then scared, as well as concerned for how this exchange could have impacted innocent bystanders. Such as my Dad when he saw the guy storm out. This situation had similar dynamics to something I go through in my waking life, but just with different people playing the roles.


Next dream. There was this plant called a "Lung Plant" which had pores for breathing? I think it had sort of yellowish bulbs on it. And other plants to eat. It was said that plants and vegetables are different. This sounds funny to me now.

Next dream. I was actually a female character and I had a new job. My new boss was telling me where I could eat.

Notes. I am going back through these from hand written notes in Fii Write and typing it in a fully typed format. I still remember these dreams vividly, about 5 months later. I can even connect some dreams to my life circumstances at the time, and I see how some things have changed. The one on the dock is the one I most vividly remember.