non-lucid

A woman comes to my desk to inform me that the manager would like to see me.
I get up immediately and begin the long walk to the manager's office.
I pass by thousands of cubicles, all looking perfectly identical to one another.
The room is huge. But it's all just cubicles, sitting on a bright white and spotless white floor,
which slightly reflects what is above it.

Everyone I pass is wearing the exact same grey suit with white shirt combo.
Everyone is in shape, everyone has the same hairstyle, the same hair color, even the same eye color.
No color can be found in here. None whatsoever. Regardless of where you look, it's all white or grey.
There are no distractions. No family photos, no items on any desk besides a monitor, mouse and keyboard.
Everyone is working at maximum efficiency.

Eventually I get to the managers office. A man is leaving the office right as I arrive.
This confirms that I have been walking at precisely the right pace.
I enter the office.

"There has been a problem with your daily psych eval this morning."
"You are to be at the primary psych facilities in 12 minutes for a more in-depth test."
"Yes."

During the exchange, the manager has not even glanced at me once.
I leave the office, and begin the even longer walk to the psychiatric facilities.
As I'm walking past all the cubicles again, I notice a woman, who on closer inspection appears
to be adjusting one of her contact lenses.
As she gently pokes the grey lens, it moves just enough to reveal that she is hiding beautiful green eyes behind them.

And this is why my psych test isn't clean. It's because I notice these things.
It's because I can still occasionally feel emotions.
You're not supposed to. That's how the system works.
It's easy to achieve complete obedience and efficiency without emotions.

I arrive at the office for advanced psychiatric evaluation.
There is only one such office for the entire facility.
Tens of thousands of people, yet I'm the only one here.
I'm the only one who failed the daily eval.
I enter the office. It is very small.
It just houses a simple chair and a robot. (who looks suspiciously similar to glados)


The robot begins to scan me. I try to keep my mind clear of any thoughts.
But I know that this isn't going to help. I'm going to fail this eval. It is inevitable.
In order to disable all emotions completely, the cocktail of drugs we receive daily isn't enough.
Abstinence from all stimuli is also required.
Which is why there are no colors, no music, no socializing, no hobbies...

But the system isn't perfect... because I have seen colors. I have heard music.
I have done so in my dreams. My lucid dreams.
And although it is said that nobody has dreams anymore due to the drugs, I still do.
I think it is because I am a lucid dreamer. Nothing can take my dreams from me.

"Your evaluation is now complete. Return to work."
"Yes."

I leave the room, initially thinking that I might have tricked to robot.
No. It can't be. Someone is probably going to intercept me on the way back.
This is it then. I suppose it is over for me.
I don't really feel any emotional reaction to these thoughts at all.
Perhaps it is the drugs, or maybe I just don't care to live this life any longer.
A woman stops me.

"Excuse me?"
"Yes?"
"Why are you here?"

I got lost in thoughts...
Oh shit. I didn't return to the programming facilities!
I walked deeper into the psych facilities by accident.
This is really not supposed to happen. I can't be here.
And it is so easy to notice that I'm out of place here because they wear different uniforms.

"What is this?"

She points to a device attached to my belt...
It is an old MD player attached to it.

Not only am I in possession of a musical device. It is also partially red!
I get a bit of a mirror's edge vibe from it. The forbidden color red, the bright rooms...
The woman looks very uncomfortable and worried.

What now? Do I wait for them to come and take me? Do I run?
No, I can't possibly run. We are all dependant on the drug.
If I stop taking it, the withdrawal effects will kill me.

But then it hits me. I'm deep inside the psychiatric facilities.
This is where they make the drug. It's in the room right in front of me.
If I had enough of it, could I slowly decrease my dosage over time?
But that would mean walking into the laboratory, past a hundred scientists,
take the drug, then run, get out of the building, and survive out there alone?
I don't even know what the situation outside is.

But suddenly it becomes clear. I am not me. I am not Hyu.
Right now I am another person. And this persons plan is to escape today.
Why else would I have a red music player with me?
Why else would I have walked deep into the psychiatric facilities?

"Yes."

You're always supposed to answer yes, in order to acknowledge what you have been told.
I gently push the woman aside and enter the laboratory.
The scientists all look at me. It is so easy to see that I don't belong here at all.
But they are afraid because this is not part of their daily routine.
They just resume their work.
I walk up to the conveyor belt where the finished drug arrives, neatly packaged into futuristic syringes with 100 shots each.

"HALT!"

Ah, the cavalry has finally arrived. Took them long enough.
About a dozen man in full, black, army gear, armed with assault rifles enter the laboratory from the opposite side.
Aren't they overreacting a little here?

"SLOWLY STEP AWAY FROM THE CONVEYOR BELT!"

I wonder what the odds would be to get out of here alive if I ran.
They are still rather far away. I don't think they have a clean shot from all the way over there.
But I don't think I could make it.
My mind is too clouded by the drugs.
I don't think I could improvise, heck I can't even remember how to run.

Oh! Of course! That's what the music player is for! Emotional stimuli!
I inspect the player more closely and find some earphones attached to it.
I put them on slowly. They don't react to it.
I hit play.



Not at all what I was expecting. But it will do.
I pick up one of the syringes.
Nope? Still nothing?
I calmly begin to walk back into the direction I came from.
They keep yelling at me to stop.
I increase the volume of my music. Problem solved.
I mean, what are they going to do? Shoot me?

Someone attempts to block my passage through the door leading back out of the laboratory.
I try to push him aside, but he won't let me...
I need to get out now, so I throw a punch in his general direction.
I end up hitting them in the nose. There's blood. Lots of it.
This time I manage to push him aside since he's in shock.

Holy shit! I just punched someone in the face!
The guards accelerate their pace. Time to run.
If I run continuously in the same direction, I'm bound to find an exit right?
I mean, how big can this building possibly be?
On the first corner I get rid of my shoes, because they slide way too easily on the polished floor.
My jacket and shirt quickly follow because they are horribly uncomfortable.
I feel like the guards are slowly catching up, but fortunately they're not using their weapons.

After a few minutes of running I feel extremely exhausted.
I am fairly certain that I have reached the end of the building now, but there is no door.
I run off to the left, alongside the outer wall.
There has to be an exit here somewhere... I hope.

Eventually I encounter some curtains and push through.
The building looks much more normal here. No shiny white floors anymore.

I spot a green fire escape sign. Colors! I suppose people are not supposed to come this far.
Finally a door that looks like it leads outside. Don't be closed...

I push it open. Fresh air. The sun.

A spot a ladder that leads down to the ground.
I'll have to climb over some railing to get to it.
But the guards catch up with me before I can do so.

"STOP RIGHT NOW!"

They could just drag me back inside now.
There's no longer a need for weapons in order to stop me.
But I know how to deal with this.
All I have to do is to point up.
I do this until everyone is looking up... at the blue sky.
That leaves them completely in shock and I climb down.

There's nothing really here, besides that ridiculously large building I was just in.
No sign of anybody else.
I just pick a direction at random and walk.
Nobody is going to come after me now.
I do realize that I'm most likely not going to make it.
I don't really have any survival skills.
But I don't mind, because right now I am more alive than anyone in there will ever be.

I'm working on the prototype for a video game I intend to create with a good friend of mine.
The game will require fast AI pathfinding over dynamic terrain for a large amount ( >1000 ) of enemies.
My current navmesh/A* approach is working fine, but I'm a little worried that it's not going to scale well if we want to add even more enemies.
I remember that one of my friends did her masters thesis on swarm AI,
so I decide to call her on Skype to get her opinion on my situation.
Unfortunately I'm having trouble navigating my contact list.
The names don't seem to be sorted alphabetically...

I hear the door bell go off, so I go downstairs to check who's at the door.
A man in his early 20's offers me a package addressed to "Hyu".
Huh? Did I order anything using my nickname? Why would I do that?
I accept the package and the man just leaves without asking me to sign anything.
What the hell?

I go back upstairs and open the package.
OH MY GOD. It's the Oculus DK2 I ordered!

I am so excited!
I unpack everything as quickly as I can, tossing the empty package into a corner of my room.

Once I've plugged everything in I notice that my computer is now running Elite: Dangerous.
That's not right, I was working with Unity3D before...
hmm....
I try to increase my awareness, going through the last few minutes in my mind.
Yup, I'm definitely dreaming.

I'm so disappointed. I got all excited for nothing.
Then again... I wonder what happens if I...
I sit down and hold the device in front of my eyes, trying to see if the displays in it are showing anything.
The device just straight up vanishes from my hands as soon as the screens cover my entire field of view.
I'm left completely immersed in the game, sitting inside the cockpit of a Sidewinder, which is the ship you start out in in the game.
Huh, that's kind of a neat trick.


Also I'm in a spaceship. Did I mention I'm in a spaceship?
I'm super excited and get going immediately.
Fortunately the controls are identical to the joystick setup I use in waking life, so I have no trouble maneuvering the ship.
I use the lateral thrusters to lift off and to get to the center of the station.
The moment I let go I immediately feel the weightlessness, which makes me feel a little sick initially,
but the feeling quickly subsides.

As I maneuver out of the station, I notice for the first time how tight the entrance actually is.
You don't really get a sense for it on a computer screen.

Unfortunately I don't really remember much else.
I faintly remember feeling the heat of a sun radiating into my cockpit as I dropped out of frameshift, but that's about it.


The experience got me thinking about how virtual reality is going to affect dreams though.
I wonder if it'll make it easier to incubate dreams about video games.
I imagine it could also make such dreams more immersive.
Usually when I have video game dreams, it feels like I'm merely an observer.
I'm not really in the dream, it's more like I'm viewing it on a monitor that happens to cover my entire field of view.
Perhaps this is going to change with regular usage of VR.

(I have false memories of having moved to an English speaking country recently...)
I'm returning to my apartment, carrying some groceries.
As I exit the elevator I stall for a few seconds.
I have completely forgotten where on this floor my apartment is...
So I just go to the first door and test if my key fits.
It does, and I decide not to worry about why I would have forgotten where my apartment is.


The apartment is quite roomy, and very modern. The entrance leads directly into a large room,
which is sort of divided into 3 areas. One for tv viewing, which has a U-shaped couch,
one for sleeping, and finally one with a computer desk for work.
I find it a bit odd that the bed is in the same room with the tv and desk.

But my attention quickly shifts towards the people that are in my apartment.
There's a guy with white hair watching TV and a woman who is using my pc.
I feel like I know these people. It doesn't seem too surprising that they're here, but I'm not really sure who they are.
The woman approaches me and gives me a hand with the groceries.


I notice that she has purple eyes. It all makes sense now: This must be ~ Dreamer ~!
She is very curious about what I bought for dinner, and begins to unpack the groceries immediately.

"Ooh, shiny!"

She is cheerful and full of energy.

"When do you want to have dinner?"
"Hmm... I don't know. I'm not really hungry yet. Canis?"

Oh. The guy watching TV is CanisLucidus. Makes sense I suppose.

"I'm starving!"

They banter on about when to have dinner. Meanwhile I try to figure out what time it is.
This proves to be rather difficult. I'm unable to read the time off the task bar on the computer. The digits keep changing.

"Hyu?"
"Yes?"
"Hmm... how do I put this? ..."
"Hyu, where is your kitchen?"
"Well, it's right over..."
"Uuuhm..."

... There's only one door in this room, and it leads back outside.
So, this is all there is in the apartment? I don't have a kitchen? Not even a bathroom???
How on earth did I manage that?

"Don't tell me you forgot to get a kitchen..."
"... I might have?"
"And a bathroom?"
"..."
"See, this is what happens when you're on the PC all day long!"

I don't know what to reply. This really is a rather colossal fuck up.

"Okay... don't worry about it. I'll sort this out."
"I'll go get you a kitchen and a bathroom."

What??? How? ...
I suppose, since this is a modern apartment, it must be modular in some way, and you can annex additional rooms to it?
I try to talk ~ Dreamer ~ out of it, because I feel that since this is my apartment, and I messed up, this is something that I need to fix on my own.

"Nonsense, I'm going right now. I'll be back in an hour or so."

She leaves the room before I manage to come up with a reply.
To be honest, I'm kind of relieved that she is helping me out.
I have no idea where to get additional rooms for my apartment...
I definitely have to make it up to her somehow.
I end up talking with CanisLucidus about game engines and the Oculus Rift for a bit. (Through unfortunately I remember nothing specific)


I feel like my overall awareness has been improving over the past few days, and it has had a positive effect on lucidity.
But this dream for some reason, even though it was absolutely cluttered with dream signs,
I managed to remain completely oblivious to the fact that I was dreaming.

I'm a bit disappointed in myself for managing my time so poorly lately.
Somehow I have picked up a really bad habit of procrastinating.
And because of this I end up spending much less time on LD activities than I intend to.
I'm seriously considering to block reddit/youtube like sites for a few days a week...



I find myself on a beach. It is quite late, the sun is going down.
I should probably walk back to the hotel before it gets too dark...
Unfortunately I don't recognize any of the buildings alongside the beach.
Am I lost? How does that even happen?

Realizing that the situation is somewhat out of the ordinary I try to increase my awareness.
However, my thoughts feel scrambled. I am unable to come to a conclusion.
Now what? Am I dreaming or not? This does feel pretty real...
I decide to fall back on a more robust technique, the nose plug RC.

I can breathe normally through my plugged nose. This is a dream.
Wait really? I look at my hands and they seem perfectly normal.
I walk over to the first person I find, which is an elderly man, whom I assume is walking back to his hotel.

"Excuse me."
"Yes?"
"Am I dreaming?"

The man seems rather confused by my question.
In retrospect, that was probably not the most intelligent thing to do.
I decide that the answer to my question should be behind myself.
I turn back towards the ocean.

This is no longer the beach I was on previously on. This is my beach!
I must have changed scenes during the short moment when I was turning.
Sweet!

I try to remember my dream goals, and for once I actually manage to remember them!
My only dream goal at the moment is to "calm the fuck down".

(Lately I often forget to properly stabilize my dreams when I become lucid.
And then to make up for it, I rush through the dreams out of fear that they might end prematurely,
which is of course the worst possible thing to do.)

I slowly walk towards the ocean, taking all the time in the world.
The sound of the water is very relaxing, and I love the contrast between the warm sand and the refreshingly cold ocean breeze.
Eventually I take a few steps into the ocean, getting my feet wet. The water is very cold.

As I look at the stars, I feel a familiar presence.
It's Yuya! This is going to be a great night.

Ever since I found this picture and felt that it reminded me of her,
she's been playing around with hair colors a lot.
Today it's mostly orange and blue.
She can change it simply by shaking her head.
She's smiling at me the way she always does.

"Come out and play?"

At first I find it a little amusing that she phrases her question this way.
But then it reminds me of when I was very young, and I'd go knocking on the neighbours door to ask them to come out and play in the street.
Back then there was nothing to worry about, no important decisions to make.
I'd ask my friends to come out with the sole goal of having a good time.
Perhaps what I initially found a little odd, was after all the perfect way to phrase it.

This starts off a series of DEILDs.
I've written down the fragments I remember.
Unfortunately I don't remember them very well.
The last few moments before I woke up are quite clear, but everything before that is a bit of a blur.

Fragment 1:
I help Yuya prepare dinner at her place.
I'm not of much help though, given that I don't know any of the herbs and spices she has, nor the meat that she wants to prepare.
She is very patient with me, and explains how to prepare everything,
even though she knows that I probably won't remember any of it.
It takes us a good hour to prepare everything.
Liv joins us for dinner. (And there was someone else as well I think.)
Everything tastes absolutely wonderfully.
Later, I help Yuya to do the dishes.
She knows that my dream time is limited, and I can feel that it makes her really happy that I spend it with her,
even if it means doing something as mundane as doing the dishes.

Fragment 2:
In my scribble DJ I wrote "Dance" "Leaf in the wind" and "Happy".
I don't remember anything about this fragment though, and I don't recall taking these notes.

Fragment 3:
We're at a Café, sitting outside, enjoying the good weather and some amazing drinks.

Crow joins us. He felt my presence so he came by to say hi.
Since there's drinks and Yuya and Liv are here, he obviously decides to stay.
He ends up ordering something that isn't on the menu.

They bring us a plate with very small pipettes on it, all containing a small amount of a yellow liquid.
It's quite fun really, you use the pipette to place a single drop of the liquid onto your tongue.
It immediately gives you that cold chill / frisson feeling all over your body.
It also tastes rather sour. Perhaps a little like lemon juice.

Fragment 4:

Crow, Yuya and I are on some sort of airship.
It looks more like an old sail ship though, nothing like an actual airship.
Does fly rather well though, even though I'm sure this violates a few laws of physics.
According to Crow, there are very few of these, and it is very difficult to get a ride on one.
It is quite late and we all sit on the front deck watching the sun go down.
Yuya leans against me because she is really tired.

Crow is telling a very captivating story about love and betrayal.
It is quite an emotional story.
Usually his stories are about himself, and he exaggerates... a lot, I'm pretty sure he even makes stuff up on occasion.
His stories are quite amazing though, I'll give him that. Plus, he's a fantastic story teller.
I don't mind that he does this, we all know that it's for entertainment.
But this time around he claims that it is a fictional story about another person.
And then there's the way he narrates it. It is quite different. More serious, and seemingly less exaggerated.
I'm convinced that this time, he's actually telling a genuine story from his past.
The story eventually comes to an end. (It was a little sad, but I recall that there was a silver lining)

"Say, aren't you supposed to wake up or something? You've been staying for an awfully long time."
"Oh Crow... you're not supposed to remind dreamers about that."
"Why not?"
"Waking up is not something you want to think about."
"Why?"
"It could make you wake up."
"It can?"
"Unfortunately, yeah."
"That is rather inconvenient."
"It is."
"Seriously though, isn't it bad for you to spend entire days asleep so that you can be here?"
"Haha, I appreciate your concern Crow, I really do, but fortunately it doesn't work quite like that."
"I assure you, on the other side I've been asleep for a few hours at most."
"Huh, that is quite fascinating. It is good to know that I don't have to worry then."
"I'll make sure not to mention anything about waking up in the future."
"Thanks mate. I appreciate it."
"Sure... mate."

(There was a joke earlier in the dream about saying "mate", but I cannot quite recall what it was.)

"Anyways, I'm afraid I have to get going. I'm running late."
"Take care."
"So long."

Crow charges forwards and disappears in a cloud of colorful particles.
I think that's the first time I've seen him do that.
The dream is slowly becoming unstable.
I can no longer see beyond the airship.
The airship itself has also become somewhat blurry and desaturated.

Only Yuya I can still see clearly.
She seems to have fallen asleep, resting her head on my shoulder.
I can feel her chest expand against me as she breathes.
Even if it is just for a short moment, perhaps for just a fraction of a second,
it makes me really believe that she is out there somewhere, and not a construct of my own mind.
Sometimes I wish I could entertain this thought for longer, because I find it quite beautiful...

I'm at university attending a lecture about the basics of OpenGL.
The teacher doesn't really seem into it, and none of my classmates seem interested.
To be honest, neither am I, but for a different reason.
The other students are not interested in graphics programming,
whereas I'm already quite comfortable with both Direct3D and OpenGL.
Why am I attending this class again? Perhaps for some easy credit points?
That doesn't sound like me though.

Once class is over, I hear some people discussing that they wouldn't come back
and choose another course instead. If that many people leave, this course is
going to be cancelled, and I'll have to find another one as well.
I'm mildly annoyed.

Eventually, as the lecture comes to an end, I suddenly realize that I am dreaming.
I'm not sure what gave it away.
I touch everything in close vicinity to assert that the dream is stable.
There is some initial numbness, but eventually my senses appear to be working properly.
I leave the classroom, trying to remember my dream goals...
It's not working, I can't remember anything.

I'll go visit Yuya. It has been a long time since I've seen her because Faye is messing with my dreams.
But then, just as I want to teleport to Riven, I spot a familiar face.

It's Kate! What is going on? Why is she here?
(Not a real image of Kate. Kate is an ex-gf from waking life)

She smiles. And that is all it takes to stir up old emotions, which I left behind long ago.
I'm in love again. Great... I had enough trouble getting over her as it is.
Why does it all have to come back to me now?
I reluctantly decide to ignore her and visit Yuya, as I had planned,
but something goes wrong during my attempt of teleportation...



... I'm in an apartment with Kate. I think that she is my classmate now, and that we're living together.
This is our apartment. Everything is perfect.
I am living with the woman of my dreams, we're both about to graduate,
and we have our future planned out.
It is late in the evening and I go to the bathroom to take a shower.
The water temperature knob isn't cooperating.
I seem to be dealing with something like this:


Kate joins me in the shower and she has no trouble adjusting the temperature properly.
The water is now refreshingly cold, just the way I like it.
Kate moves closer and kisses me passionately. I love her so much.
And she is so beautiful. I stare into her green eyes as we kiss...
Wait... this is not right. Those are clearly Kate's eyes, but... they feel... empty?
Oh no...
Why?
I am emotionally devastated...

This isn't Kate. This is Faye.
It feels as though I've lost Kate again. I am so sad.


Faye is now holding a rose and handing it to me.
I get the feeling that she is trying to apologize?
That does make feel a little better. Will I finally be able to reason with Faye?
I take the rose. I cut one of my fingers on a thorn. Ouch!
A single drop of blood emerges and falls to the ground.

Something is wrong...
I sense something moving through the small cut, into my hand, and then up my arm.
I get vivid flashbacks of the bee birthing blisters. Not again!
I drop the rose. But I'm too late.
Stems covered in thorns grow through my veins and sprout out of my body in various places, causing me to bleed.
More and more blood flows down into the shower. The water slowly turns red.

"Faye. Please make it stop!"
"No."
"..."
"Please! I'm sure whatever the problem is, I can fix it."
"There is no need for this!"
"I don't want the problem to be fixed."

What? Why? I don't understand.
I just barely manage not to freak out. The parasitic plant hardens in my veins making me unable to move.
The pain increases as the plant grows bigger.
Fuck fuck fuck.

"Faye! Talk to me! What is the problem?"

She doesn't reply. She just smiles, satisfied with the current situation.
I can't take it any more. I need to wake up!
I close my eyes, trying to think of my waking body lying in bed.
But I don't wake up...
Instead I begin to see, even though my eyes are closed.

She laughs at me and my inability to do anything.
Then she moves in and kisses me on the lips.
No. I don't want this.
My fear turns into anger.
I scream at the top of my lungs, wanting to push Faye away from me.
The hardened plant finally gives in under the force and breaks in many places within my body.
I push against Faye hard with both of my hands.
She is pushed through the glass shower door, which shatters into pieces.

She is cut in many places by the broken glass. She is bleeding and her blood mixes with mine on the floor.
This is so fucked up. She still looks like Kate. This is not right. I don't want to hurt her.
She again laughs at the current situation. She clearly feels like she has accomplished something.
She is satisfied. Finally, she gets up and leaves the room and I manage to wake myself up.

Well fuck. -_-
This is enough. This needs to change. Now.
I'm going to WBTB, probably do some meditation to focus my thoughts, WILD and tackle the problem with a hopefully clear head.

To mention something a little more positive, I have updated my Dream Journal Description.
I've also found this really cool painting by Sakimichan, which made me think of Yuya:

She obviously doesn't have the long pointy ears, but I thought that this painting just radiates so much energy, just as Yuya does.
There's also been a strong blue/orange theme in my dreams lately. I thought this was a pretty cool find.

I set myself an alarm to wake me up after ~6 hours of sleep.
The idea was to attempt a WILD, which is something I haven't done in a long time.
I figured with a WILD I would remember my goals more easily, and I might be able to tackle the issues I have with Faye.

I wake up from the alarm. I immediately close my eyes again and try to remember any dreams.
All I can remember is a few weak fragments. I do not bother writing them down.
Instead I get up and walk around in my room a little, thinking about my dream goals.
The most important thing would be to deal with Faye. I feel like this is crucial in order to fix my dreams.
I've also been dared to tell her how she makes me feel.
I go back to bed after roughly 5 minutes and attempt to WILD.

I quickly get some HI, followed by the appearance of random faces.
Some scenes begin to form, but they seem to fall apart before I can transition.
I open my eyes a few times by accident. I'm really not used to do this anymore.

After some time I notice that I can see my room even though my eyes are still closed.
Oh. I am actually already dreaming. For some reason I decide to just stand up, even though I know that I've lost many lucids by doing this.
Fortunately this time it works. My body is really heavy though.
I have a lot of trouble moving, but I eventually manage to stand up.

I shake myself, a bit like a dog shaking away water from its wet pelt. Except I shake away the weight. It works. Neat!
I rub my hands together and look around.
I'm not in my room anymore. It's really dark.
Upon closer inspection, I appear to be standing on some dark marble floor, in an empty room that is clouded in dark fog.
Another person appears in front of me. First it's just an outline, but as he comes closer he looks more and more like a normal human being.

Wait what? He looks exactly like me!
I take a step back as I'm really creeped out. I am super uncomfortable encountering myself.
He looks a bit older than myself though... maybe by a few years.

"Who are you?"
"I am Hyu"

Great...

"You're not being helpful."
"Haha, I'm a future version of yourself, of course!"

Right...
So now what? Am I supposed to ask him something?
I probably should. Even though he's still creeping me out...

"So... any future advice for me?"
"Hmm... well... not really."
"Dude!"
"Alright, alright. I can tell you that it is going to work out. Is that helpful?"
"What is going to work out?"
"You'll know."
"Oh for fucks sake, you're pulling the same shit as all of the other DC's"
"Well. What did you expect? I am a DC."
"... you do have a point..."

He starts to walk away from me, but just before he disappears in the fog he addresses me one last time:

"On second thought... maybe you should get that Unreal 4 license. Mess around with it a little you know?"

(I have thought so much about starting my own company over the past few days. Was this what he was referring to when he said that everything would work out?
The comment about getting a UE4 license seems related to this.)

The black fog suddenly starts to move in. Oh shit, the dream is falling apart.
I panic and slam my palms against the ground yelling "PORTAL!".
For some reason this works. I fall through the ground, spin around a little and then crash land somewhere in the city.
I rub my hands against each other very hard. The dream is still unstable, I need to engage my senses.
A young girl eating some ice cream catches my attention. I steal her ice cream cone and take a large bite.

"Hey! That's MY ice cream!"
"Sorry, I need to stabilize."
"Oh, okay."

After the inevitable brain freeze I feel like messing around with dream powers a little.
I don't do this very often. I try to grasp onto the clouds and squeeze them to make it rain.
It doesn't work whatsoever. Well, this is disappointing, but I'm not sure what I was expecting.


Then I notice the presence of a huge stargate. That wasn't here before!
I want to visit Yuya! I point at it and yell:

"Teraluna, Riven!"

The gate dials in and opens a portal. Well, that was easy. Sweet!
I charge at the portal, wanting to jump through.
But at the last moment someone grabs on to me, trying to hold me back.
What the hell? Go away!
...
I can't unsummon him??? WTF? This never fails!
More people run at me, all trying to prevent me from going through the portal.
Oh my god there is an endless stream of them. Hundreds of people all holding me down.

I use my dream powers to release a shockwave to get them off me.
Those who were close to me are thrown a few meters back and they pile up on top of each other.
Then I spot Faye in the middle of it all, controlling the DC's like puppets.
Her smile is pure evil.
She makes a gesture, and the stargate unsummons.

"You're not going anywhere tonight."

I am afraid of her, and angry at myself. I want my dreams back. I am sick of this Faye nonsense.
My katana materializes in my hand, even though I have no desire to summon it.

"Cute."

Faye summons an exact copy of my katana... how...?
This is not right. She can't do that. She doesn't have that power.
Are these her dreams now? Have I lost all control over them?
My desire to visit Yuya fades. I want this dream to end. I feel completely powerless.

"Aww, I thought you would put up a fight. That would have been so cute."
"And oh so idiotic. You don't understand anything."

I have no reply. I close my eyes. This will end the dream...


... I'm in some sort of japanese garden. Probably sight seeing or something? I'm with a few other people. (3 I think)
Everyone is talking about dreams, so I conclude that they must all be DV members.
But I don't understand what they're talking about. Some induction techniques involving butterflies? What?
I feel bad because I can't contribute anything to the discussion.

Then I notice that one of them has purple hair, so obviously she must be ~ Dreamer ~.
I'm somewhat proud of having figured that out all on my own!
I want to do something to impress her. I want to show her something really cool.
And then I have the most glorious of ideas! I am going to use my dream powers to piss a rainbow!
(Oh god why . By the way I'm totally blaming KristaNicole for this. XD)

"Hey Dreamer, check this out!"

I unzip my pants, point my dick upwards at a 45° angle for maximum efficiency and commence some high pressure pissing.
The stream of piss is nothing short of impressive, but it doesn't create a rainbow.
Everyone is giving me this what the hell are you doing look. I don't understand why.
It makes me sad that no rainbow is appearing.

The WILD has helped to some extend. My dreams did contain elements from my dream goals, but I failed to act on them.
It's cool that I saw ~ Dreamer ~, even though I wasn't lucid and I behaved like a complete idiot.
I'm quite disappointed at how I dealt with Faye.

I forgot to add a song to my last DJ entry!
I can't think of any music that fits this dream, so instead, here's what I'm listening to as I write this:


I'm at an office in a clinic. I'm sitting on a simple chair in the very middle of the room.
I've been waiting here for some time, bored out of my mind.
A nurse is supposed to join me in order to give me the results from some kind of medical test that was performed on me.
After some time a nurse finally enters the room.
She tells me that she has good news, that they have finally figured out what is wrong with me.
The nurse suggest beginning treatment immediately.
I'm ecstatic to hear this.

However, I now also realize that this is a dream.
The nurse somehow notices that I have become lucid. She seems sad because of it?

We are interrupted by a doctor barging into the room.
She immediately steals the nurses charts from her hands.
After looking over them she sends the nurse away.

"I will take care of this."

I don't like this. The nurse seemed very competent and kind, whereas the doctor seems uninterested in my health.
She is just here to do her job and get paid. She couldn't care less about who I am or how I feel.
After grabbing something from a drawer she pulls up another chair and sits right in front of me.
She holds a syringe and a vial containing an odd purple liquid.

"Hold out your arm for me."
"Okay."

I hold out my arm as she draws some of that liquid into the syringe.
I want to ask her about what is actually wrong with me, and about what
the devil she is about to inject me with.
But I don't ask anything because I feel really uncomfortable.
The color of that liquid strikes me as really odd.
Are you supposed to inject purple stuff into people?

She grabs my arm tightly, presumably so that I don't move.
My skin offers little resistance to the syringe.
The needle punctures it easily.
I'm pleased that it doesn't hurt.
She injects me with a large quantity of the liquid.

As she retracts the syringe she smiles.
And not the good kind of smile. The I just fucked you up and I'm a psychopath kind of smile.
Blisters start forming very rapidly all over my arm.
They quickly grow to the point where they are about to burst.
There's a huge amount of liquid in them. And I sense them pulsating. (I'm not googling a fitting picture for that...)
WHAT THE FUCK!
I notice the doctor as she attempts to go for my other arm.
Oh hell no. I slap the syringe out of her hand and quickly get up.

I am now in full panic mode.
I turn towards the only door in the room and charge at it.
Due to fear of the door being locked I throw my entire weight at it, attempting to break it open.


The lock gives in under the force emitting a shattering sound and separates from the door.

Blinded by a bright sun I try to reorient myself.
Wait what? I'm outside?
I quickly realize that I find myself stranded on top of a skyscraper.
There's only one door leading back into the building and that's where I came from.
This doesn't make any sense! Also the skyscraper is really thin. Like only 5 by 5 meters.
I have nowhere to run.


The doctor emerges from the room holding a much larger syringe this time around.
Like, a meter long. She's holding it like an assault weapon.

"Come over here. You need your medicine!"

I don't think so. I look back at my arm and it looks even worse than before.
The biggest blister bursts open and some thick yellow goo starts to ooze out of it.
It is utterly disgusting. Oh but it gets worse. So much worse.


Fat wasps start to climb out from inside the blister, through the puncture.
There's goo all over them, and they immediately begin to climb my arm.
I contemplate attempting to rip my arm off my body, but I understand that this is not possible.
The doctor approaches me slowly, carrying the overly large syringe on her shoulder.

But then, during all the panic, a short moment of clarity.
I am dreaming. I try to forcefully forget about the condition of my arm, knowing that it will return to normal.
The doctor is getting uncomfortably close to me, and I have no room left to move backwards...


Oh for fucks sake!
The name tag on the doctors lab coat...
It reads "Dr. Faye"
There is just barely enough time to go from full on panic to being seriously pissed.

"Fuck this, I'm out of here."

I stretch out my arms, and let myself fall backwards, down the skyscraper, looking at the sky all the way down.
Weeeeeeeeeeee
...
Uhm...
This scene is going to change before I hit the ground yes?

My vision fades just before I hit the ground.
Good...
*BAM!*

OH GOD FUCK WHY...
Oh...

I thought I went splat there for a moment.
But I actually just landed on my back in a new scene.
I get up and begin to orient myself.
My arm is back to normal, so we're off to a god start.


Oddly enough I seem to have ended up in some kind of garage?
Like, a pit box for race cars.
Usually if I change scenes without thinking of a destination I land on a certain beach.
I end up there quite often, but not this time for some reason.

I rub my hands together, trying to purge my mind of the images of my arm.
Then I spot it. A suspiciously large object hidden beneath a white sheet.
I know exactly what this is!
Pulling away the sheet reveals my xg bike.
AWW YEAH!


I walk around it inspecting it from all angles.
The polished exhaust manifolds reflect the bright lighting in this garage.
I touch them and slide my finger all the way back to the end of the exhaust pipes.
Thinking about it, I haven't raced this in many years.
I did have a dream about it a long time ago, but I don't think I raced it.
Deep Dreaming - Barfight - Earth from Space - Exploring Childhood Dreams - Yuya - Dream Journals - Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

I could use my lucidity to attempt to resolve my current dream issues.
But I decide to postpone it. The dream is stable and I know that is going to be wonderful if I race.
Yes. I need some me time. Dreams are about having fun. I don't feel like resolving complex issues right now.

I climb onto the bike. It feels exactly right.
I flip the switches on the dashboard. ECU, FUEL, IGN.
And it lights up in vibrant neon colors.

I spot a pair of noise canceling plugs, resting next to some sunglasses on the fuel tank.
I promptly stick the plugs into my ears. This nullifies all sound completely. I also put on the sunglasses,
which fit nicely. I detach the auxiliary oil supply, which was keeping the engine nice and warm.

I gently feather the throttle, and kick the starter hard.
The engine roars to life. The sudden sound pressure feels like a punch to the stomach.
It almost hurts. My entire body vibrates, as it resonates with the sound emitted by all 20 cylinders.
Even though my hearing is muffled, the sound is painfully loud because it is amplified within this garage.
The sudden vibrations greatly increase the quality of my dream.
My vision is colorful and sharp now. All of my senses are engaged.
I am in a pit box. There's a race track right outside.

I pull the clutch all the way back and shift into first.
A loud mechanical "clock" is emitted by the transmission and the dashboard display changes from N to 1.
I lean my weight all the way forwards, feather the throttle and just let go of the clutch.
After some wheel spin I am propelled out of the pit box and begin driving down the pit lane.
I flip on the "G" switch on my dash board. This turns on an odd device that provides high amounts of downforce without causing any drag.
Almost as if gravity was magically increased for the bike.
With a precise foot press the engine changes into second and the bike wobbles forward and backward a bit.


I start to gain speed and once I'm onto the track I punch it.
At first the revs climb slowly, but then once I make it past 7k rpm I hear both turbos slowly spinning up, providing an enormous boost in torque.
This violent increase in power actually catches me off guard and I accidentally change into 3rd.
There is some more wobbling and the engine emits a rather unhealthy sound as I have starved the turbos from their much needed exhaust pressure.
This is to be expected as I shifted way too soon.

I gain some more speed before I need to slow down for a sharp hairpin.
The brakes are loud and cause some vibration, but they are perfectly precise and very powerful.
I shift back into second and engine screams up for a split second as the internal computers match the engine speed to that of the gearbox,
followed by a loud rumble due to unburned fuel exiting the exhaust pipes.

I throttle up gradually as I am exiting the corner. The turbos spin up again. This time I'm determined not to shift early.
I grab the handles tightly, holding on for dear life. The acceleration brutally increases all the way through
10k, 11k, 12k, 13k rpm. The front wheel begins to lift off the track and I quickly shift into 3rd.
This time there is no wobble. The gearbox computer executes the shift precisely the moment when my foot presses the shifting pedal.
The front wheel slams back onto the track with a loud tire screech.

Two lines of blue leds on my dashboard grow towards each other as the rpm increase, indicating that I am within the power band.
I take it all the way up past 14k, until red leds at the end of the blue led strips light up,
indicating that it is time to shift...

I am now in 4th, doing close to 500km/h, as I enter a long corner. I lean my body into it, bringing the glowing orange exhaust manifolds into my field of view.
The forces on my body increase, until eventually belts in my pants pull together automatically to cut off the blood flow to my legs.
This just barely prevents me from passing out. I am unable to breathe until I exit the corner and the forces normalize.

I lift my body up a bit, so that I emerge above the protective wind shield.
The air pushes against my face hard. It hurts. I am so alive right now.
I try to scream as loud as I can. My lungs can just barely overcome the air pressure.
But there is barely any sound. The engine is just too loud. I cannot compete.

But that doesn't matter. This is MY dream. I am alive. I am in control.
After some laps the dream fades. I don't care.

The contrast between "bad" and "good" adrenaline was quite interesting.
Could have done without the bad part though. The images are still burned into my mind. x_X

Before you read, be aware that this dream revolves around a sex scene.
Usually I simply write "I had sex", but due to its important role, I actually described it quite intensely this time.
I left out most of the really explicit or dirty details, but still, if this is something that
you find inappropriate or offensive, please do not read.


I'm walking towards a building with 4 armored guards surrounding me.
I'm full of confidence, walking strong and fast towards the door.
There's anger within me, I am here to set things straight.

As one of my guards opens the door for me, I remember that I am in King's Landing, and that I am entering one of Petyr Baelish's brothels.

The term "Game of Thrones" enters my mind, but I discard it, thinking it is the name of this world or something.
We take the stairs to the first floor, and are greeted by some prostitutes.
They are absolutely gorgeous!
Most of them are wearing slightly see-through dresses that reveal the shape of their bodies underneath, but leave everything else to the imagination.
It is difficult not to stare, but I know that I am in a position where it would be inappropriate to do so.

"I'm here for Littlefinger"

I proclaim, full of confidence.
But I quickly realize that this is all I know.
I am here because some sort of problem and I need to set things with him straight.
Why can I not remember something of such importance?

One of the women makes me a sign to follow her, and leads us through a corridor, presumably leading to Baelish's office.
I decide that once we reach it, I'll most likely remember, and decide not to worry about it.
Well that, and I'm also distracted by the woman in front of me.
She's walking very suggestively, clearly trying to draw attention to her butt which is visible through her dress.
She glances at me by looking over her shoulder, probably wondering if I'm checking her out.

I try to look as serious as possible. Pokerface.
She seems disappointed that I'm not staring and keeps walking.

To the left and right are doors leading into rooms where people are presumably heaving sex.
Well, not presumably, as I get closer I can clearly hear the voices coming from these rooms.
They are intense. Both men and women are screaming shouts of pleasure.
In front of the rooms other women are waiting, often kissing or fingering each other as they wait for customers.

The sexual tension is extreme, and the more I try to ignore it, the stronger it becomes.
I can clearly feel the sexual energy streaming from the rooms.
Some have not even bothered to close the doors to their rooms. I try not to look, but cannot avoid it most of the time.

It makes me feel quite uncomfortable.
It's not the sex, nor is it the women. The whole situation actually turns my on to a great extend.
But the sexual energy from the other men... I don't want to feel it, but it is shoved right in my face.

To top it off, I spot what appears to be a gnome walking into one of the rooms with a lady.
He's tiny!
He notices me and gives me that "I'm going to have sex with this woman" look.
The fuck?

"Here we are."

Well shit, I still don't remember why I'm here.
My guards wait outside as I enter the room.
Littlefinger is sitting behind his desk, and not very far away I spot Daenerys Targaryen with one of her dragons on her shoulder.

The dragon is bigger than in the tv-series.
(Yes, I actually think off the tv-series, but it doesn't strike me as odd that I'm with tv characters or that this scene makes absolutely no sense in the current GoT plot)

Baelish is clearly not happy to see me, and he asks me with an annoyed tone:

"What is it?"

If only I knew.
I decide the best course of action would be to just act all smug and superior and not say anything.
He doesn't really seem to expect an answer, so I just stare at him.
I'm somewhat superior to him right? ... Or... who am I?
Finally he stands up.

"This is outrageous!"

Daenerys steps in.

"Yes it is! Who do you think you are to refuse service to my dragon???"

Aha, so that's what's going on.
...
Wait what?

"This is an establishment that caters to men and women, and not to your bloody pets!"
"I am the mother of dragons and I demand that you show me respect!"

Oh boy, what have I gotten myself into here.
I feel that I should side with Daenerys though, after all I am a dragon as well.
And this request isn't really that unreasonable is it?

I smack my hand on the table and stare into Baelish's eyes and I say in a serious, powerful and slightly angry voice:

"Your whores do seem to cater to gnomes though."
"Are you perhaps suggesting that a dragon is an inferior life form compared to a fucking gnome?"

He is so scared. I can see it in his eyes. He is so scared that he cannot retain composure.
I still don't remember who I am, but I conclude that I'm some kind of amazing badass.

"I... I didn't mean it like that."

One of the prostitutes storms into the room towards Daenerys and offers to take care of her dragon.
She nods and the dragon climbs onto the shoulder of the prostitute and they go into a room.

"To think that I had to come here for this."
"My apologies..."

What am I doing?

"Sir, perhaps you would be interested in some of my women... on the house of course!"

Two prostitutes enter the room and take their tops off.
Boobies! They look so soft.
Wait... this is not something my character would do is it?
It is hard to resist the offer though.

"I have more urgent matters to attend to then to fuck your whores."
"Of course... again... my apologies, if you need anything please let me know."

I turn around and leave the room.
Fuck, I'm so horny right now.
Walking through the corridor filled with sexual energy isn't helping.
I'll just get out of here and get back to...
What was I doing? Who am I?
I stop.



You have got to be fucking kidding me.
I look around me. Half naked ladies everywhere.
It feels so real.
The smell of lavender in the air is doing a decent job of covering the smell of sex.

Uuh, this is weird, did I just make a prostitute have sex with a dragon?
How does that even work?
The idea of going into that room to see how they're doing it pops up in my head but I discard it quickly.
I start walking towards the exit again.
I try to calm down and mentally stabilize the dream, but I quickly notice that it is perfectly stable.
Should I just have some fun with one of the girls? They're all very pretty.

But then everything stops.
I can't feel any of the DC's anymore, except for one.
An extremely strong and vibrant aura is emerging from one of the rooms.
It is very familiar... who is this again?
I walk straight towards the room not thinking about anything else anymore.
I am drawn towards it by a higher power.

I open the door and find a very cute, attractive and beautiful woman, wearing a rather revealing dress.
The look she gives me is the exact opposite from cute though. It is so horny and dirty.
Is this... is this the hibiscus girl?
I search for a hibiscus flower. She's always wearing one, or it is painted somewhere on her clothes, hence why I call her "the hibiscus girl".
I can't see it, but my sense of global awareness tells me it is there, strapped into the back of her hair.
I glance into her eyes, and sure enough, they are those amazing eyes with infinite detail.
She has long brown hair, which is beautifully weaved together in a rather extravagant fashion.
I also notice some kind of long skin-tight silver bracelet on her left arm, which seems to have been sculpted to look like a dragon.

I close the door behind me and walk towards her full of confidence.
All of my encounters with her have been very sexual and I know this one isn't going to be any different.
Dream Journal Entries tagged with 'Hibiscus'

The sexual tension between us is extreme.
I can see in her eyes that she is feeling the same way I am. She can't seem to stand still of excitement.
Once I'm close enough she immediately hugs me and moves in for a kiss.
But I stop her just before our lips touch.
I'm teasing her, and I see a small opportunity.

"Who are you?"

She's breathing heavily. She can't stand it that I'm teasing her.
The sexual tension between us is so strong that it begins to manifest itself physically.
Arcs of lightning are shooting between our bodies where our skin is close.

"I won't say."

Her voice is shivering.
She tries to pull me closer so that we will finally kiss, but I keep resisting.

"Tell me!"

She clearly considers it, but decides against it.
Following a dirty smile she rips off my shirt.
She moves in again.
I'm not stopping her this time.
We kiss.

As our lips touch I get the most intense feeling all over my body.
It feels a bit like goosebumps, but it is so much more intense.
Colors quickly become ridiculously vibrant.
I can clearly hear both of our hearts racing.

She moves back a little and tries to pull me onto the bed.
There is no need to say anything, her eyes clearly scream "I want to have sex"
She moans as I rip off her dress and push her onto the bed.
She spreads her legs and holds out her arms towards me.

I quickly get rid of my clothes and jump onto the bed.
A few memories rush into my head.
Memories where she suggested that she is a dreamer and that she reads my DV DJ.
Is she real?
The train of thought vanishes as we commence.

She pulls on me to make me move faster.
Quickly things become pretty rough and she starts using excessive force to turn me around and get on top.
She keeps going faster and getting more violent. She is a lot stronger than I would have anticipated.
I need to use some of my dragonic power to gain the strength to get back on top.

This is so intense. Seeing the expression on her face.
She just can't get enough. And she is very vocal about it.
Magic abilities start "leaking" out of her.
She pushes me around so hard that her ethereal wings light up, which I see for the first time.
I love it, and I push back. We keep throwing each other around.
My senses go into complete overload, just like they did last time.

Some of the prostitutes are hiding behind some curtain, trying to sneak a few looks.
They have never seen something like this before.
She's an animal. She even bites me in the shoulder to get a better grip.
But so am I. We're both animals succumbing to our most basic urges.

We keep going until our muscles can support our bodies no more.
I let us fall backwards onto the bed, but as I hit the ground I feel that I've landed on grass, not on a bed.
For the first time in many minutes I bother to take a look around and notice that we're outside in a huge field.
She hugs me.
I can feel her exhaustion and her heavy breathing.
I try one last time.

"Who are you?"

But she just smiles. She's so happy, it's complete bliss.
Then she fades away.
Well, that's unfortunate.

I get up and look at the landscape.
All my muscles hurt, but I cannot help but feel profound satisfaction.

Then I realize that 2 women are standing behind me.
I turn around, realizing too late that I'm completely naked and that a specific body part is still fully erect.
They don't say anything, they just stare and their faces turn somewhat red.
I walk past them, finding the situation humorous.

"Good afternoon my ladies."

A crow far away starts yelling "peeeenis... peeeenis"
It is barely audible, but a good reminder of the randomness of my dreams.





I wake up and surprisingly I go from complete exhaustion to well rested.
I try to remember my previous dream which makes me scratch my head.
I take a page of notes to help me remember in the morning.
For some reason I write

"I am a dirty man"

at the very end.
Why did I do that?
I change it to

"I am a dirty an awesome man"

and smile like an idiot.
Then I go back to sleep.





...
Yuya sends me a signal that she's with Liv visiting some place and that I should come.
I teleport to their location and find myself on a rather odd planet.
It has a green sky, and the entire landscape is covered with what appears to be glass biodomes linked with each other by bridges.


I try to say hi but Liv takes a step back. She seems to be in full shyness mode which I haven't seen in a while.
Yuya on the other hand seems highly amused.

"What's going on?"

She whispers in my ear, with an evil grin on her face that tells me whatever she's going to tell me will make me feel really weird:

"You smell like sex."

...
Shit.

She bursts out laughing. Fortunately I don't feel too weird about it.

"Speaking of which, do you have any idea who this girl is?"

She closes her eyes and scans my memory to get a better grasp on whom I'm talking about.
Unfortunately, she immediately skips to the sex scene, which I did not expect at all.

"HEY!"
"Oh my!"

She gives me this "well done sir" look, that only guys are supposed to give each other.

"That was... impressive."

What makes it worse is that she means it.
And I can feel that she's a little turned on by it.
I feel rather ashamed now.

"Oh calm down, how often have I told you that we don't have those weird notions about sex you have in the waking world."

Yes, she has. And I know it isn't weird for her, but I still didn't want her to see that.

"I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault."
"And no, I don't know who she is, but she seems to be a rather curious individual."

I try to change the topic.

"So, where are we?"

She explains to me how and why the biodomes were built.
The one next to us apparently holds a collection of the most amazing candy that has ever existed.
This explains why the room is full of guards. You can clearly see it from where we're standing.
The candy is also in the open, laid out on different tables.

"Huh? Do they only have old-fashioned guards? No futuristic or magic security systems?"
"No, just guards. I mean, how would you sneak in there?"

Exactly! How would I?
I can't blink there because there's a physical obstruction in the way.
However...

I summon my phoenix wings, trying not to alarm Yuya.
She doesn't notice.
This is gonna be fun.
I look over at the biome and immediately see that I have a short window right now where nobody is looking.

*Zap*
*Pick*
*Zap*

Yuya looks at me curiously.

"Did you just do something?"

She must have felt my aura change for a split second.

"Maybe?"

I reveal one of the candies I've just stolen in my mouth.

"!!! No you haven't!"

I grin.

"Are you mad? Oh who am I kidding, of course you are."
"So let's skip to the important question... did you...?"
"Of course!"

I hand her one of the other candies I've stolen.

"Nice!"

I also offer one to Liv but she doesn't want one.
The fact that I've just committed thievery makes her rather uncomfortable.

The candy in my mouth starts to become extremely sour. I did not expect that.
But it tastes so good... yet my tongue feels like it can't handle it.
Then suddenly, Yuya and I spot a guard walking by.

We stand up straight and try not to look suspicious.
Unfortunately, at that specific moment, the candy becomes so sour that none of us are able to keep a straight face.
The guard looks at us both and presumably witnesses the two worst attempts at a pokerface in history.
He is visibly confused but decides to keep walking.

Both Yuya and I have to laugh out loud once he's gone.
Good times.

This one is kind of old and happened right after my last entry.
I haven't really found the time to write it down until now.
My dreams are also getting kind of long, which is amazing, but also kind of a pain to write down.


The time is ticking.
I have no choice but to diffuse the bomb, there is no way we'll get out of the explosion radius in time.
I quickly grab an electric screwdriver from my back pocket and start removing the digital clock mounted on top of the bomb.
There is less than one minute left on the timer.

"Hurry up!"
"Shut it!"

Removing the clock reveals a highly complex maze of cabling.
Screw this!
I remove the electronics as well, in the hopes of finding a simpler set of cabling leading to the warhead.
Fortunately I am right. The whole electronics are wired to the warhead by only two thick cables.
I can do this!
But my short burst of confidence is quickly shattered by a rather troublesome discovery.
The warhead is nuclear.
How the fuck did this happen? How did anyone manage to acquire a nuclear fucking bomb?

A quick look at the dismantled clock reveals that I have 7 seconds left.
I decide to cut one of the cables at random.

"I know this setup! Cut the red one!"

I move my knife to the red cable, but it shifts colors with the other yellow one.
Whenever I switch, the cable colors switch as well. It's impossible to cut the red one. WTF!

Seeing the last few seconds run out, I notice that I'm not really scared to die.
I wonder why that is.
Oh...

Yeah...
I start rubbing my hands but am interrupted by the bomb hitting zero and audibly powering up.
Well... this is not good. I might wake up because of that.
I think about quickly portaling the bomb away before it goes off, but then I notice that it is plugged into the wall with an extension cord.
Really?
I unplug it and the warhead turns off.
Lol.

I resume rubbing my hands but I am yet again interrupted, this time by the DC that was with me.
I unsummon him because I have no time to deal with DC's right now.
I need to stabilize the dream and get my second lesson in time dilation...

... I'm in Haven with Yuya and Liv.
I have trouble stabilizing the dream but eventually manage to get there.
Once stable I immediately get back to doing the awareness technique from the previous dream, sort of to show off in case Yuya tests me.
But she doesn't. There is simply no need, she is fully aware of my thoughts and how aware I am right now.
Liv is curious about what we are doing and I have a difficult time explaining it to her.
She is unaware of the difficulty of remaining in a dream or the concept of stability.

We walk along a path that I remember. I've been here before but I cannot quite remember what I was doing.
Then I see the water pools, yep, this is the fighting practice area.
Yuya starts walking onto one of the pools and I follow her.
Walking on water is second nature to me nowadays, but thinking back, it's the first thing that Yuya taught me when I met her again.

I suddenly get goosebumps and instinctively power up and take a defensive stance.
Huh? It was Yuya.I felt the shock of her suddenly powering up.

"Nice reaction!"
"Cheers. What are we doing?"

I barely manage to block her attack as she blinks towards me.
Without my recent training she would have knocked me unconscious with this.
I'm kind of in the mood to fight her now, I wonder how I compare to her nowadays.
I smile.

"Awareness Hyu."
"What? Oh, you've got to be kidding me! During a fight???"
"Why? Are you scared that I'll slap you across the face?"
"Hahaha, alright, let's do this!"

I awaken the dragon and charge towards her.
She easily blocks all of my attacks. No surprise there though.
So far so good, I manage to remain fully aware of my surroundings.
The fight is pretty tame, I don't get myself into uncomfortable positions, have I gotten closer to the skill level of Yuya?

She summons her pressurized spheres.
Well shit. I forgot about those.
The spheres are horribly dangerous and difficult to fight against.
She basically creates 5 water spheres about the size of a basket balls.
Then she compresses them down to the size of a grain of sand.
I'm not even sure how it's possible to compress a liquid at all.

The pressure of these spheres is immense. They can be used both defensively and offensively.
She moves them around telepathically at extreme speeds and can make them burst whenever she wants,
releasing the contained water at extreme pressures, cutting through anything in their way.

You really can't let them touch you unless you don't mind loosing a limb.
Fighting against them requires a lot of blinking, which causes stability problems due to the distorted vision.

It would be rather useful to have my katana right now, but I'm not using it in a practice battle with Yuya, it's too dangerous.
I don't use the dragon eyes either, because the thought on using them on a friend scares the shit out of me.
In return she doesn't use her water extraction technique, which I wouldn't know how to fight against.
I only saw her use it once in a fight.
Within a split second she extracted the entire blood from her enemy and he died on the spot.
It's a really scary technique.

What am I doing?
I'm thinking too much. I should look for openings instead and strike whenever I see one.
But Yuya is way too skilled to provide such an opening, I'll have to force one.
I create and launch spheres of compressed energy at her. Those are rather explosive and fairly dangerous.
I got the idea from her water spheres. Attacks of compressed energy have their advantages.
They are much more efficient against single targets.
The technique is also cheap energy wise, so I can cast it a lot, making it an ideal tool to get someone off balance.

She is moving 3 of her water spheres into a defensive position to cope with my relentless attacks.
Time to get serious.
I make an aggressive blink, right in front of her, and try to strike her with a fist.
This is obviously not going to work, I expect her to blink away.
I'm using a multiblink attack, which is very difficult to perform.
I try to feel where she's going to blink to to dodge my attack and blink myself to the new location simultaneously.

Blinking usually has some sort of cooldown, making this impossible, but using enough energy it is possible to force it.
The energy required to do this is ludicrous though, so multiblink attacks are extremely exhausting.
But you basically put your opponent into a position where he is forced to multiblink as well to dodge the attack.
Yuya and I are skilled enough to do it about 4-5 times in a row, but after that everything hurts.
Your aura is completely unstable at that point and takes seconds to recover, during which you cannot focus your energy at all.

The reason I'm using such an attack is to nullify an immense advantage she has over me.
She doesn't need to stay lucid. She lives in this world, I am merely a visitor.

Here she goes.
2 Blinks... 3, 4, and finally a fifth.
The energy in my fist has completely dissipated due to all the blinking, and she can now easily block it.
I land on the water surface and have difficulty remaining on top due to my now unstable aura.

I attack her again, purely physically this time, as I neither of us can focus any energy.
Whoever manages to focus his energy first will have the tremendous advantage of launching the first serious attack.
I might have the advantage on this, dragonic energy is extremely unstable by nature, so I'm used to it.
I should be able to focus my energy before my aura has fully stabilized.

I can feel my aura tingling. This should be enough!
I focus energy into the tattoo stretched over my right arm and quickly cast a fire based attack towards Yuya.
She dodges it by blinking.
How the hell can she do that???
How is her aura stable enough already to blink?

I screwed up big time. I casted this before my aura stabilized, and now it's completely messed up again.
Yuya is over me charging towards me. She's casting a spell.
Shit, I can't do anything.
The water surface collapses beneath my feet and I am dragged underwater.
She's controlling the water, increasing it's pressure attempting to hold me in place.
I see her splash through the water surface still charging at me fast.
She is wielding a trident.

But she's overconfident. She's in her element, so she thinks I must be at a huge disadvantage.
Yet, even though I do not control water, I can make good use of it.
My aura stabilizes and I create an extremely strong electric field in front of me.
Electrolysis! I split water into hydrogen and oxygen. The correct mixture is highly explosive.
She realizes what I've done too late and I ignite the mixture with a fire sphere.

Oh shit. I didn't think this through.
The explosion is huge and we are both catapulted out of the water.
Everything is extremely foggy because so much water evaporated and water drops are going everywhere.
I can barely see. This is really dangerous, the dream could collapse.
I don't even know where up and down is.

I decide to completely ignore my vision and rely on my sense of global awareness instead.
Good call! I sense 5 sources of compressed energy approaching. Water spheres!
I quickly locate Yuya's aura and blink towards her.
I catch her slightly of guard and manage to land a focused hit.
She blocks it fine, but still.
Focused energy attacks are better to avoid than to block.
They cause all sorts of vibrations in your aura making followup moves difficult.

I try to chain a few attacks together but quickly feel the exhaustion kicking in and I back up.
Most of the water has come down and my vision becomes useful again.

She performs a blink attack.
Shit! She's going to chain them up.
We blink a total of 4 times.
It hurts so much.

This keeps going for a few more rounds.
One of us performs a multiblink attack and gets us both completely out of position.
Then it's a race to the first attack and a matter of somehow defending against it.
It is absolutely exhausting.
My limbs become insanely heavy and I start to loose the ability to focus my energy properly.
We fight for maybe a total of 15 minutes, which is actually quite a long time considering the speed we're going at.

"Alright... let's call it a draw..."
"No... I win."

Oh come on. She's just as exhausted as I am, she can barely stand.

"You lost awareness of your surroundings."
"Fuck my life."
"Haha. You completely forgot!"
"..."
"And guess what? You're still here."
"Huh? I thought the goal of this was to remain aware of my surroundings."
"No, that's not the goal at all. The goal is to have deeper dreams. The goal is to remain here for longer."

...
Wait what?

"Hold on a second!"

She got that grin of her face.
That "she knows everything" grin.

"You're telling me the heightened awareness thing isn't actually necessary to stay lucid???"
"Of course not! How would you pull that off for multiple hours in a row?"
"..."
"I said your awareness level was too random, we did some training to fix that."
"So you're saying it is already fixed?"
"I am now convinced that it is already fixed."

Woah. That was fast.

"So.. what are we doing now?"
"Teaching you to let go."

Let go? Let go of waking life?
Not thinking about it all the time and rather focus on the dream?
Of course... she told me many times before...

I take a quick dip in the water to get rid of the smell.
I'm sweating like a pig.

We walk back towards Yuya's place, discussing dreaming and being awake.
I mention Dreamviews, which I haven't done very often before.
Yuya tells me to say hi to fOrceez and Dark_Merlin.
Liv doesn't say a word. I don't think she's ever seen Yuya and me fight, that must have been quite intense for her.

Damn... I'm so exhausted.
Why do you even get exhausted in dreams?

"Why wouldn't you?"
"Eh... yeah..."
"Indeed."
"So, what do I do against it?"
"... are you serious?"

>_<

"You sleep of course! Or did you think I would sleep just for fun?"
"Well... now that you put it this way."

Liv leaves us and we quickly get into bed.
Goddamn I'm exhausted. Every muscle in my body hurts.

"This is a problem"
"What is?"
"If I want to sleep I'll have to close my eyes."
"So?"
"I might wake up?"
"zzz, you've picked up a lot of nonsense"
"I have?"
"These 'dream rules'. Darkness is bad, don't close your eyes. Don't talk. Yada yada."
"Yeah, I kinda have, haven't I?"
"I know the not talking one is nonsense, I talk all the time."
"It's no different for closing your eyes."
"I know you're right. I only wake up because I'm scared that I might. But it seems hard to get over."

"Pff... hahahaha"
"What's so funny?"
"Hurr hurr, I'm a badass dragon, I can fight a goddess of water and do all sorts of shit."
"Yet I can't even close my eyes.... haha.... I'm sorry Hyu, but this is funny."

It kind of is.
Screw it. Let's do this shit!
I close my eyes.

"You know, when you exploded half of the fucking training pool you didn't see anything either."
"That didn't wake you up, so why would closing your eyes do so?"

Yep, my thoughts exactly.
I open my eyes again to sneak a closer look at her.

WHAT THE FUCK?
How am I awake? What is this shit?
I'm a bit mad, but happy to have made progress.
I take some quick notes and go back to sleep.

A similar music track played during the training part of this dream:


I'm some sort of private investigator, and I'm searching for evidence with 2 coworkers in an apartment.
I quickly realize that I don't seem to have any gloves on me and ask one of my friends to give me some.
After putting on the gloves I go to the kitchen and start opening all the cabinets.
I wonder what I'm looking for...

"Hey, what are we looking for again?"
"Are you serious?"
"Uuh... yeah..."
"*sigh* we're looking for a quantum accelerated pipe."

... wait what?

"Like, for smoking?"
"For smoking weed, yes."

A quantum accelerated... wtf?
I keep searching and end up finding the most glorious of smoking devices I have ever seen.
It seems to be made out of some sort of glass and it glows in all kinds of colors, depending on how you angle it against the light.
But then finally it dawns on me... a quantum accelerated pipe... yeah... right...

I rub my hands and further investigate the pipe.
I am sad to find out that it isn't loaded. I would have loved to smoke some weed.

I remember that Yuya told me that I should break out of the dream plot when I become lucid.
Oh! And she wanted to teach me about time dilation!
I become very excited and quickly teleport myself to Teraluna.

I end up in a flower garden. Yuya is attending to some flowers right in front of me.

"Yuya Yuya Yuya"
"Hi?"
"Hi! Time dilation and stuff!"

She grins.

"Calm down! You're going to wake up."

Right...
After attempting to get myself into a calmer state I take a look at my surroundings.
The flower garden is beautiful. All of the flowers are very colorful and they smell great.
I touch and smell some of them until I decide that the dream is perfectly stable.

"So... the thing you call time dilation."
"Yes!"
"Well, for starters it isn't really time dilation."
"I guess. I couldn't think of a better word to describe it."
"Right. So, there's quite a few ways to approach this."
"I'm pretty sure I know which way works best for you, but first of all we need to work on something else."
"Oh?"
"Well, it's sort of directly related."
"Sure, what is it?"
"Your awareness in dreams."
"I've noticed that you sometimes are extremely aware when you're here, but only for short periods of time."
"You experience awareness in short bursts rather than continuously"

I quickly realize that she's spot on about that.

"Yeah, now that you mention it, it's pretty bad."
"Good, so first of all I am going to show you a technique to hold a certain level of awareness."
"Great!"

She drops the flowers.

"Let's go for a walk!"

We walk through the flower garden and talk some more about time dilation.

"Alright, stop!"
"Hm?"
"I want you to tell me the color of each flower on the plant we just passed, without looking."
"Err, sure? Let's see... it was green, yellow, blue, yellow..."
"No, you're cheating."
"I am?"
"You're using your sense of global awareness to tell what color they are without looking, what I need you to do is to remember what color they are."
"What? All of them?"
"Yes! I want you to remember every single detail of what you experience."
"Let's keep walking and pay attention."

This is going to be hard... like, really hard.
Is it even possible to do this?

"Sure it is, especially since you're dreaming. Remember when I told you the difference between focusing on something in waking life and in dreams?"
"Oh yeah, that's right."

I focus really hard on everything I see, even the smallest of details, and try to take mental note of them.
We walk past a similar plant, with approximately 50 flowers on it.

"From top to bottom, go!"

I try to remember and surprisingly, accessing my memories feels natural and easy.

"Red, red, yellow, blue, yellow... err, ultraviolet?, red, blue, blue..."

I keep going through about 20 of them until Yuya stops me.

"Hey hey, awareness!"
"What? Was I wrong?"
"No, but you're neglecting your awareness. Have you noted the details of the things we just passed?"
"Oh... oops. Wow, this is hard."
"Haha, see, just memorizing and remembering is easy."
"What I want to teach you is to remain aware of your surroundings, even if you are focusing on something else."
"If you can do that you should be able to continuously remain aware much more easily."

This makes so much sense!
Yuya is so amazing, why haven't I asked her about this before?

We keep doing this. I memorize all the flowers including other details and try to recite them from memory without loosing awareness of the new surroundings I encounter through walking.
It's really hard at first, but then it becomes surprisingly easy.
I feel like a genius, having such amazing memory all of a sudden.

Since I focus so hard on my vision, it becomes more and more intense.
I can see beyond the color spectrum visible to the human eye.
Ultraviolet and infrared, I can see them so clearly.
They aren't red or violet at all, they are entirely different colors.
The now 5 base colors start merging together to form new ones.
Everything is so beautiful.

It is so hard not to get distracted by this beauty. I have to remain aware of everything.
But it works! I can quite literally feel my awareness leveling out and remaining strong as I go along.

Yuya keeps asking me more and more difficult questions.

"How did this plant smell like?"

I can no longer answer these question with words, so I project my memories towards her, showing that I remember clearly.
We go on like this for some more minutes.
I feel like I have just achieved something major.
I have never ever experienced such an amount of focus.

We finally reach the end of the flower garden.

"And stop!"
"Okay?"
"Yep, time to relax, you cannot possibly keep this up much longer."
"Oh, I can't? It started to feel natural some moments ago."
"Still, if you keep that level of focus up for too long your brain will just spontaneously break out of it."
"You'll either loose all your awareness or even wake up."
"So it would be a bad idea to try and do this all the time?"
"Yes. You can do it for a limited period of time, for example during a battle where you need the extra focus."
"What I'm teaching you is to remain at a constant level of awareness."
"The important part here is that it is constant, not that it is on a level where you have surreal perception and memory."
"The goal is to never let it drift below a certain threshold, this way dream stability should remain high."

I understand her so well, her explanations are perfect.

"It's just more efficient for you to learn it this way."
"Not everyone is capable of achieving such a level of focus."
"It's something you often find in dreamers that are experienced with dream battles."

Dream battling has so many uses, how amazing.

"So dream stability is directly related to your level of awareness?"
"Well, yes, sort of. It's complicated."
"It always is."
"Actually, it is really simple... like most things."
"Yeah right."
"It's the painfully simple things the human mind cannot comprehend."
"After all your mind is trained to understand the complexity of the waking world, not the simplicity of the dream world."

Wow. That is deep.
I have never thought of it this way.
Yuya never ceases to amaze me.
She just drops these mind blowing ideas on me, as if they were the most obvious things in existence.

"Should I try to do this awareness technique in waking life?"
"No. At least not right now. You said you have constant headaches."
"Yeah, probably a bad idea."

She smiles and gives me a big hug.

"We'll continue this next time."
"Wake up and write this down so you don't forget it."
"I will! Until next time!"

Wake up... Have I ever tried waking up from a dream that wasn't a nightmare?
Heck, even a nightmare I haven't tried to wake up from in forever.
I close my eyes and command myself to wake up with my inner voice.
I feel a tingling sensation all over my body.

I open my eyes.
A quick nose plug RC confirms that I am awake and I start taking notes, excited to have taken my first step towards properly long dreams.

"Destiny" is a recurring dream scenario.
It is the name of the first faster than light spaceship, on a controversial mission to investigate a signal that can only be of alien origin.
Here's a summary of current events:
Recurring dream about a spaceship mission to find extraterrestrial life. - Dream Journals - Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

I have had a few more dreams about Destiny, but none of them drove the plot further.
I always find myself in the cockpit starting at instruments, but nothing ever happens.
Tonight something did happen.


We're all strapped tightly into our seats.
It is time.
A female computer voice is counting down to zero.
Once the countdown runs out we will begin the breaking maneuver to get out of ftl.
It will last approximately 20 minutes, which will most likely be rather unpleasant.
The artificial gravity system will compensate most of the g-forces, but if the acceleration maneuver was any indication
then there will be a considerable amount of vibrations.

My assumptions weren't off.
The first few minutes of deceleration weren't too bad, If I had to venture I guess I'd estimate that we are experiencing about 2 g's right now.
However, after more than 10 minutes, this gets tiring and stressful.
The skin on your face feels like it is trying to peel itself off.
And that's the time when the vibrations start.

The hyperdrive is designed to operate at a specific speed, and it turns out that it does so surprisingly well.
However during the acceleration and deceleration phase, when the ship is still at ftl but far below the optimal operation speed,
saying that it is running sloppy would be putting it mildly.
Imagine an old car engine with a rough idle and a piston not firing properly.
Now imagine that engine having enough power to propel 400 tons with ease.

It's not just the vibrations, it's being shaken around what really wears you down.
The noise of the ftl drive is phenomenal though.
It is the sound of raw power; The sound of a thousand lions roaring over the echo of a thunderstorm.

I can barely appreciate the view. My eyes are focused on the main console, expecting a warning light to go off any second.
I miss most of the spectacle right in front of me. Slowing down to the speed of light, the view gradually shifts through the color spectrum, producing all sorts of fractal patterns.
But no alarm goes off. No warning light. Not even a check light.
As we drop below the speed of light, we are shortly blinded by a flash of light.

The vibrations and the g-forces gradually decrease.
We are back in normal space, coming to a stop.
Finally! Those 20 minutes felt like an eternity.

"Initiating hyperdrive cool down phase."
"Hyperdrive will be available in approximately 20 hours."

We'd better hope so.
Without the hyperdrive it would take a few thousand years to get back home.
It is safe to say that without it, we are screwed.

Everyone's pretty nervous. Nobody knew what to expect, but we were all expecting something.
We find ourselves not too far from a blue gas giant.
It doesn't seem to have any moons.
I find this a bit disappointing though I have no idea what I had in mind.
An inhabited planet? That would have been a bit ridiculous I guess.

But then a vague beep catches my attention.
The most important beep I will ever hear in my entire life.
The HUD highlights a location close to the gas station and has it marked as "UNK_00000"
UNK stands for unknown artificial object.
Non-artificial objects are marked with AST for asteroid instead.
UNK can be anything from an unofficial or military satellite to space debris.
But this time it is none of those.

It is in fact an alien space station orbiting the gas giant.
This is the only time where calling something alien is not premature.
Who else could have built an artificial structure orbiting a planet hundreds of light years away from earth?
We plot an interception course and point all of our sensors at the structures.

Catching up with the planet doesn't take very long, but synchronizing the orbit is a more time consuming task.
You can't just point the ship into the general direction of the space station and hit the throttle.
If you go too slow you get caught by the gravity of the planet, if you go too fast your orbit becomes elliptic.

The wait is painful. There are so many questions.
Is there anyone there? If so, how are we going to communicate? How will we make contact? ...

... We sit in front of the station for a prolonged period of time, trying to find out all sorts of things with the on-board scanning devices.
The station has begun to light a path towards what appears to be some sort of hangar bay.
It is clearly inviting us in...

... We have landed inside of the hangar, which surprisingly seems to be pressurized.
There must be some sort of force field in place keeping the air inside.
The air mixture is mostly nitrogen / oxygen... just like on earth.
A single hallway leads out of the hangar.
It is again lit by lights inviting us to step inside...

... I am walking through the corridor in a pressure suit, accompanied by our language and culture specialist.
We're not wearing the suits because the air isn't breathable, we're just afraid that if we do encounter any other living organism in here,
we might be contaminated by potentially dangerous bacteria.
The atmospheric scanners on the ship found the air to be sterile though...

... We enter a big, well lit room.
It is divided into two by a transparent wall...

... We are not alone ...

On the other side of the wall, a humanoid being is waiting.
I become so incredibly nervous that the feeling becomes so intense that I can no longer feel it.
I just walk forward.
Thousands of questions answered within a split second.
Are we alone? Is there other intelligent life?
But those are immediately replaced by an identical amount of new questions.
Why would other intelligent life be humanoid? Why do they look so similar?
The odds for that are so insanely low.
Anyone who knows the basics of evolution would tell you that the likelihood of extraterrestrial life being similar to us is so low it is ridiculous.

Yet here I am, approaching this woman who looks more similar to humans with every step I take.
Eyes, eyebrows, a nose, a mouth, teeth, ears, two hands with 5 fingers each, thumbs.
Her hair is very different, it looks very organic, almost plantlike.
Her skin texture is also slightly different, but the only thing that is really obvious at first glance are her hair and her clothes.

She smiles.
I am so close now.
I look into her eyes, without any plans on what to do.
I just follow my curiosity.

Her eyes... they remind me of something.
They are so vivid. So detailed.
I need to see them more clearly.

I unlock my helmet and take it off.
I don't worry about the consequences, I don't even think of them.
I have to see.

I approach the transparent wall until I am nearly touching it with my face.
I take of my right gauntlet and press my hand against the wall.
She does the same with her left hand.
Our hands would be touching if there was no wall separating us now.

I can now see her eyes clearly.
I know those eyes.
Those eyes so vibrant and colorful that they defy the capabilities of human vision.
Those eyes with an unlimited amount of detail.
The deeper you stare into them, the more details you can see.
It would be so easy to get lost in them.

I have only met three woman with such eyes in my life.
One is Yuya, another is the "hibiscus girl". http://www.dreamviews.org/blogs/hyu/...verload-23438/

The last is a mysterious woman from the future. A "twinner" as MoSh would say... http://www.dreamviews.org/blogs/hyu/...s-women-15610/

Is is her...
Those eyes I wouldn't forget in a million years. They are so unique and the memory of them so powerful.
It is her, in the form of an extraterrestrial being.


This leads me to the obvious and only possible conclusion.
I am dreaming.
This is a dream.

I am not sure whether to be sad or amazed about this.
I feel both, so strong that I cannot distinguish between them.

She whispers something, but her voice cannot penetrate the wall.
My desire to know what she said is so incredibly strong I can only barely bear it.

The wall slides away and she hugs me tightly.
I am so confused, so full of joy, so ultimately sad.
My hands are shaking, I can barely stand. I have no control over my body.
She whispers in my hear with the most gentle voice I have ever heard:

"Soon"

The dream fades away.

I wake up still full of confusing emotions.
I can't decide whether I am overwhelmed by this amazing experience or by the sadness of the feeling that this "story" might have come to an end.
I think "This is why I dream"

This video was posted the night before this dream on reddit.
It got me really curious about Burning Man and I read up on it before going to bed.


I'm driving home.
I decide to take the country road, which I love.
It's nearly always empty and is full of corners with very good visibility.
In other words it's quite safe to drive really fast, and you barely ever go over the speed limit doing so.

A village is coming up so I attempt to slow down, but something is wrong.
The brakes are fading... badly!
I'm going downhill struggling to stop, the brakes aren't biting.
I enter the village quite a bit too fast but manage to come to a full stop after quite some distance.

What happened? I haven't had any brake fading since I changed to aftermarket brakes, and I wasn't even pushing them that hard.
Plus brakes don't just loose all their bite that quickly, they would have gradually started fading.
I get out of the car to check on the brakes and the pads are quite literally on fire.

No way... I try to recall if I was racing, but even if I was this couldn't possibly happen.
I get back in the car still trying to remember my driving, and start driving slowly to cool the brakes down.
I can't seem to recall my driving at all.

And then it hits me. I'm dreaming!
I immediately remember Burning Man and decide to go there.
I close my eyes, and imagine myself walking on the Playa.
Why did I close my eyes? I can teleport with my wings, this seems unsafe.

I open my eyes and find myself already at Burning Man.

"Huh... that was easy..."

I notice a woman in front of me, staring at me quite intensely.

"No, it wasn't. I brought you here."

Interesting.
I scan her aura to see if it is Faye messing with me, but I quickly realize it is not her.
It's the "hibiscus girl": Another mysterious woman / Emotional and sensory overload - Dream Journals - Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views
The last two times she was wearing clothes with a hibiscus drawn on them, but this time she's wearing the actual flower behind one of her ears.

"Well... hello there."
"Come!"

She grabs my hand and drags me away.
She blinks the both of us a considerable distance ahead, and we end up in a location where people have set up all sorts of art pieces.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

I investigate all the pieces carefully.
They are very different from each other, but every one is beautiful in its own individual way.
There's everything from over-sized mechanical spiders shooting flames to tiny crystal sculptures.

She grabs my hand again, and gives me this look that clearly states that she is in control.
This is the second time she just dragged me into another dream.
I don't really mind, because I find her very interesting, and her presence is... quite arousing.
She's extremely attractive and quite sensual.
I'm drawn towards her.
But I sill feel the need to be at least partially in control of what is going on.

"We're going to climb that sculpture"

She points at a tubular structure.
I resist the dragging and she looks at me.
I stare deeply into her eyes and grab strongly onto her arm.

"No, we're not. We're going dancing."

I smile, and pull her to a new location through my eyes, the way she has done it to me before.
I get us into some sort of club they have constructed here.
There's a center pillar giving support to a huge tent.
We stand on a small platform attached to it, a few meters above the ground.
There's neon-lights everywhere, in all kinds of colors, lighting the place up.
Some follow the rhythm of the music.
They are playing vocal trance. (A bit like this starting at 2:30)



The girl is visibly surprised that I just dragged her here.

"Dance with me!"

She's unsure for a second but then smiles.

"Sure"

She leans her back against me and we dance slowly to the very atmospheric music.
I really enjoy it. She smells very nice... it reminds me of lavender.
She brushes through my hair with her fingers... I wish I had such good hair in waking life.
The flashing of the lights turns my vision slightly blurry.
She turns around and closes here eyes.
She moves in for a kiss, and it's absolutely magnificent.
I feel full of energy.

I can feel how much she is enjoying this.
But then something startles her.
She looks at her hands and starts fading away.
She manages to look at me one last time before she completely disappears.

I decide that she must have woken up, how unfortunate.
My vision is blurry as well, I need to get out of here and stabilize.

I teleport outside where it is dusk now.
I rub my hands vigorously to stabilize the dream.

I walk along a path with more sculptures on both sides.
I meet many people, all very different from each other.
They're all extremely nice, everyone is smiling and says hi.
I wonder if Burning Man is anything like this in waking life.

Some guy explains to me how to build these tubular structures and I end up helping him extend one of his sculptures.

It's been quite some time since my last DJ post.
I'll try to be more active on DV again, and I'll probably post some of the dreams I had during my absence.


Random music for no good reason:


The day before this dream I had surgery on my foot.
Nothing serious, but I still needed a massive bandage and pain meds for the healing process.
This made it rather uncomfortable to sleep, and sure enough, after just ~6 hours of sleep I woke up.

The pain wasn't bad as long as I didn't move... however that's exactly what I wanted to do.
I must have slept in an awkward position because my left leg (where I've gotten surgery on) was very tired.
I didn't want to move though, because I knew it would hurt.
The pain meds were on my desk where I left them, out of reach without getting up.

I just wanted to go back to sleep, but it just didn't seem to work.
The strain on my left leg kept me awake, just barely... I kept drifting in and out of consciousness.
This was coupled with random thoughts that didn't make much sense.

I kept trying though, and after some time, in a brief moment of clarity, I noticed that I was feeling vibrations all over my body.
I knew this feeling all too well, because it happens quite often when I attempt to WILD.
I haven't done that in a while, but for some reason I thought that because of this I could now transition into a dream.
(I wasn't really thinking clearly)

I try to levitate out of bed as a means to separate my dream body from my physical body.
At this point I can clearly feel the existence of both.
It seems like the stronger the vibrations, the less I feel my physical body.
Attempting to levitate seems safer to do, because I don't run the risk of moving my physical body.

I slowly start to drift upwards.
There is no more gravity and the blanket is gone.
I land on my bed and start rubbing my hands in fear of loosing the dream.
It is only then that I realize that I've just cheated my way into sleeping... sort of... well not really, but I'm asleep, that's all that counts.
I check my foot and it's all normal. No bandages, nothing.

It's rather dark. I was hoping rubbing my hands would fix this, but it didn't.
I flick the light switch in my room, but nothing happens.
Meh, would have been too easy.
Afraid to see myself in bed I leave by jumping out of the window.
(Seeing myself makes me uncomfortable and has woken me up in the past.)

I land softly and walk into the street in the hopes of the dream being lit up by the streetlights.
But it doesn't help.
I don't want to wake up, I want to stay asleep as long as possible.
This is why I'm afraid to try spinning, or use other techniques to change the scene... if I fail I could wake up.

I rub my hands again.

"Oh come-on, work already!"

It doesn't.

I try to make it rain with my mind, thinking it won't work because the dream is unstable. (dark)
But for some reason it does.
I feel the rain drops on my skin, and as the feeling becomes more intense, the dream finally becomes properly lit.

(Rain has been an amazing tool to keep my dreams stable in the past. The constant feeling of raindrops keeps my senses focused in the dream)

I decide to slowly walk through the street and see if I find something interesting.
I'm too afraid to attempt to teleport somewhere else. If I mess it up and wake up there's no way I'll be able to fall back asleep.

Suddenly, I realize that I have changed location.
I am now in Germany, in front of a friends house.
How did that happen?

My friend C. comes out of the house.

"Can't sleep either huh?"

It's weird hearing him speak perfect English. We talk German with each-other in waking life.

"What are you talking about? You're not making any sense, this is a dream."

He looks confused but shrugs it off.

"I have to show you something, follow me."

I follow him into his room where he points at his tv.
There's a newscast... something about another dimension merging with our's.
It's rather confusing. It quickly becomes apparent that it's about the dream plane though.
It is merging with the waking world.

This confuses the hell out of me, I'm fully aware I'm dreaming, but the whole situation is built around being awake.
Then I spot Faye on the couch. She makes me a sign to stay quiet, not to tell that I know about the dream plane.

"Can you believe this? This is so weird! Do you have any idea what this is?"
"Ehhh, haha, yeah... it is weird, isn't it?"

Probably the most unconvincing thing I've said in my entire life.
I wonder why Faye wants me to stay quiet about this...

... I am now at the location where the tv broadcast is occurring.
It's in some sort of park, I don't think I know this place.
There's some sort of spatial disturbance in the air, and I can see spirits from the dream plane trying to cross over.
It's a rather surreal experience. (at this point I actually believe that this is really happening.)
I try to spot Yuya on the other side in the hopes that she can cross over but I can't find her.

My friend is there again, rambling a bunch of nonsense... that we're all going to die among other things.

Spirits are now crossing over and materialize on our side. Some politicians have appeared and are greeting them,
and welcoming them into our world.
Other people are protesting the situation, waving signs with the word "Spirit" crossed out.

"HEY!"
"Faye!... What?"
"Snap out of it!"

The scene freezes, except for Faye and myself.
She grabs my hand and drags me away.
I realize that I drifted out of lucidity.

"I thought you were trying to stay asleep, what the hell are you doing?"
"Err... yeah. I nearly lost it there."
" "nearly" huh? "

We arrive at some sort of cafe and we stop at a table.
Faye looks like she's about to scold me.

"I know, I know... constant awareness."
"That's right."
"But it's difficult right now, I have an injury in the other life."
"Excuses!"
"Maybe..."

A waiter brings us a coffee and Faye hands it to me.

"Drink! This will help."

I drink the coffee and it feels like the caffeine rushes directly into my head.
I am now thinking clearly and my vision is perfectly fine even though it's still night.

I walk down the street with Faye and we talk about a few things.
She's trying to keep me asleep.
After some time I realize a minor oddity.

"So... technically I'm talking to myself right now eh?"
"I've told you before, it's quite a bit more complicated than that."
"That's quite an understatement. I know you've tried to explain it before, but I still don't really get it."
"You have a good idea, that's enough."
"But I want to know more."
"You don't understand every detail of the universe either, yet it doesn't prevent you from living in it just fine."
"It doesn't prevent me from trying to understand every last detail of it either."

She smiles.

The street abruptly ends. There's nothing but darkness behind it.
I turn around. Darkness is catching up with us, there's maybe another 10 meters of street left.

"End of the line Hyu."
"Aww, I don't want to wake up."
"It's alright, you've been asleep for a long time, it's nearly time to get up anyways."

That makes me feel a lot better.

"Bye bye, Hyunkell-san"

I reply in a funny way:

"Goodbye, dreamguide-o-saaan"

She sticks her tongue out in a cute way and laughs.

I wake up. It's been over 7 hours since I went to bed, so I decide to get up.
To my surprise, moving my foot doesn't hurt nearly as a bad as I thought it would.

Recently some of the abilities I can confidently use in lucid dreams have appeared in my non-lucid dreams.
I occasionally find myself using them without thinking or realizing that I am in fact dreaming.
The most common ones I use are "Fire" and "dragon eyes".
They're both abilities I associate with dragonic powers in my lucid dreams.
Creating and manipulating fire is rather straightforward, using the dragon eyes not so much.
If a DC looks into my eyes whilst I have the "dragon eyes" open, I can order the DC to perform any action and he will obey.
This works with most DC's, except those who seem unnaturally strong. (those who present themselves as other dreamers or other conscious entities)


I'm at university, attending some kind of lecture.
The dean enters the classroom and asks if I can come with him.
This doesn't really surprise me, I sometimes help the school with some stuff, I assume it's about something related to that.
I get up and follow him.
He opens his office. There's 3 men inside wearing suits... weird.
He closes the door without entering.

"Mr. Zimmer?"
"Yes? Can I help you?"
"Indeed you can, we're from the FBI."
"Oh? What brings you to Germany?"
"You do, Mr. Zimmer... Or should I call you 'Hyu'?"

I'm confused and feel horribly uncomfortable, as if I had committed some sort of crime.
But I know I have not. Yet I am Hyu, but how do they know? It's the nickname I use on the internet, is this related to some of my online activities?
It's the Fbi, they have no jurisdiction here.
I try to remain calm.

"Mr. Zimmer is fine. Please explain yourself, what do you want from me?"
"We want you to come with us."
"I'm afraid I'll need an explanation before I'm going anywhere, you have no jurisdiction here."
"Indeed, we do not."

The agent pulls out a gun and points it at my chest.
I freak out as he pulls the trigger and I feel the pain of something penetrating my skin.
What the heck? This wasn't a bullet! He shot me with a tranq gun.
My body goes numb and I fall to the ground...


... I regain consciousness. It's cold...
The room I'm in is dark and moist.
I'm wearing nothing but underpants, and I am constrained on a metal chair.
The metal is really cold... and it reeks. I'm scared.
I try to move my arms, but I can barely move them a few millimeters.
They are chained to the chair at multiple locations.
I start panicking and try to pull myself loose.

But I quickly understand that there is no way that is going to happen.
My legs are chained in the same way my arms are, there are multiple belts as well, keeping my body constrained to the chair.
The system is so solid and complex that I can't even turn my head.
Fuck!

I try to calm down. I need to think.

Someone enters the room... he's wearing a doctors outfit... it's full of blood stains... fuck fuck fuck.
He studies a chart and then approaches me.
He turns on a spotlight attached to his headband, which blinds me.

"Who are you???"
"..."
"Where am I?!"
"..."

He doesn't give a shit and completely ignores me.
At first I think that he'll inject me with a huge syringe, but he actually proceeds to drain blood from my left arm.
He's fucking disgusting. He smells horribly, as if he hasn't showered for weeks, and he doesn't look any better than he smells.

Fuck this!

I try to channel energy in order to set him on fire... but it fails miserably.
Red lights on bracelets on my arms start flashing... and that's it... nothing happens. There is no fire.
I realize the bracelets have tubes that feed into my arms... what the fuck?

"Heh. Stupid shit. You're not going to use fire magic for a long time."
"Guard! We're taking him with us. I want him to see something..."

A guard enters the room and unlocks some of the chains.
He then forces me to stand up and follow the doctor.
The chains around my body are still massive. It's a complex setup of massive steel locks.
The whole apparatus is heavy, I have a hard time walking with all the weight I have to carry.
There's no way I'll be able to resist.

I am brought into a room similar to the one I was held in.
There's 2 prisoners inside.
A girl and a guy, both about my age.
I quickly realize that the girl is dead.
It looks like she died of blood loss, which she lost through her eyes.
How horrible!

The guy seems quite scared. He looks at me, and I can see the desperation in his eyes.
He knows he is going to die.

The doctor approaches him. He is going to inject him with the blood he's taken from me... why?

"They're going to kill me... just like they killed the girl."
"Your blood killed her."

The doctor intervenes: "Shut your mouth."
But knowing what's going to happen to him, he doesn't care.

"If there's anything you can do... do it."
"They will torture you until they find a way to extract your abilities... and after that they'll have no more use for you."

Fuck... if this is true... I have to act now... but how? I can't do shit with these bracelets.
The doctor gets ready to insert the needle into his arm.
I can feel the adrenaline pumping...

...

The bracelets... they prevent me from using fire...

"Hey doc!"
"Shut it!"
"You know, this is not going to work, you can't transmit the fire genes like that..."

I'm pulling this out of my ass... I just need him to look me in the eyes before he performs the injection.
Maybe they don't know what I can do if someone looks into my eyes, maybe they only know about the fire.

"... Those tricks are not going to work. Don't waste my time."
"Don't inject him and I'll tell you how to transfer my powers..."
"... I've actually got them from someone else, I wasn't born with them."

This is never going to work...
He turns around and looks at me.
Or maybe it will?

"Bullshit!"
"Look me in the eyes, do I look like I'm lying to you? My fucking life is on the line."

And he does.
Got you!

I open the dragon eyes and stare right into his soul.
I can see every bit of evil inside of him. What a disgusting and horrible person.
He tries to resist, so I push it.
His eyes turn bloody... he won't be able to take this for long.
I need to hurry up.
I order him with my mind.

"Undo the bracelets!"

He approaches me like a puppet and begins deactivating the bracelets.
The guard notices and freaks out, yelling at the doctor to stop.
But he doesn't... he can't even hear the guard, he can only hear the overwhelming voice of my mind.
The guard pulls out his gun, but it's too late.
The bracelets are off.

The concentrated fire bullet I just launched at him hits him in the head and splits his skull.
He drops to the ground dead.

"PLEASE! Help me! I can get us out!"
"I know the way, and I can open the doors."

I don't have a choice, I have no idea where I am.
He's wearing bracelets as well.
I concentrate some fire onto them and they stop working.
He closes his eyes and all the locks on his and my constraints unlock at once.

"I control electricity. I can control most electrical devices."
"That's useful..."

I spot a small red led at the top of the room... fuck... a camera.

"We need to get out. Now!"

He gets up and we start running.
The corridor outside the cell leads straight to a big steel security door.
He opens it with his ability. It starts lifting upwards.

But behind it, a whole armed task force is waiting for us.
In panic, I prepare to set them all on fire, but it seems my new buddy got this.
With a simple hand motion, he creates an electromagnetic field dragging all their equipment towards the ground.
The belts of their machine guns prevent them from getting back up and we just run past them.

This guy is amazing. He locks all doors around us, except for the ones we need to escape.
We encounter little resistance on our way out since everyone is locked in other rooms.
Finally we reach an elevator and get inside.

Apparently we're at level "-28" which is also the lowest level.
Where the fuck are we.
It goes all the way up to "0", which is where we are going.

The elevator doors open and we get out.
We're in a rather small room, with some sort of reception and a big steel door which presumably leads outside.
I can see a nuclear warning sign on it... I see. We are in an old nuclear bunker.
A girl working the reception freaks out once she spots us and grabs a phone.

"Do yourself a favor and don't bother..."

I feel more confident now that we're nearly out. I'm not really that scared anymore.
She drops the phone and puts her arms in the air.

"Good girl."

My new friends opens the door with a wave of his hand and the bright light from outside blinds me.
We step out, not seeing anything, but then my vision normalizes...

"Fuck..."
"Yes. I thought you knew how to get out?"
"We are out. But I had no idea where the fuck this facility actually was..."
"Well shit..."

We're in the middle of the desert.
You can see extremely far from where we are, but there's nothing to see but sand.
Never ending sand and the fucking door leading back into the nuclear bunker.

Armed forces stream out of the bunker pointing their machine guns at us.
There's a guy in a suit with them, presumably the leader of whatever is going on in the bunker.

... Hold on a second... I can teleport, can't I?
Or... wait... WHAT THE FUCK?

I'm angry... I'm properly mad.

"WHAT IS THIS SHIT?"

The guy I escaped with is confused.

"What?"
"THIS IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE!"

I'm so pissed. How did I not notice.
I need to unleash some of this anger...
I approach the guy in the suit.

Everyone starts shooting at me, emptying their magazines, but the bullets just bounce off me.
What do they expect? I'm lucid, they can't do shit.

I grab the guy by his neck and lift him off the ground.

"If you meet my subconscious, kindly ask it: 'What the fuck?'"

I set him on fire. The flames are purple, and so strong that he immediately disintegrates, not even leaving behind any ashes.
In my anger I call out to Faye, associating her with my subconscious and thus as someone responsible for this nightmare.

"FAYE!"

She appears and immediately makes me a sign to let her say something first.

"I didn't do this Hyu. This is not my fault. It wasn't me."
"Then who did?"
"No one... nightmares don't work like that..."

I finally manage to calm down.
And then I realize something rather important.

"Sorry Faye... I didn't mean to be angry at you."
"And I get it now. This is actually a positive experience, not a negative one."
"Aha! How so?"
"If I had this same nightmare and I wasn't lucid dreaming, I wouldn't have been able to break free from it."
"The habits I've acquired in lucid dreams have helped me to escape from this nightmare, and from many others before."

She smiles in agreement.

I feel a lot better, somewhat refreshed actually.
Beating a nightmare feels good. I feel strong, like I have an ability that most people don't.
The dream fades away...

I wasn't really able to write these down until now, I just had lots of things to do.
I have noticed that my dream recall has been acting a bit weird over the past few days.
I just seem to remember a ton of dreams, though most of them are very vague and fragmented.
My dreams don't seem to be more vivid or any longer though, so I'm not really sure if it's "better".
Nevertheless it feels weird remembering like ~10 different fragments a day.
These are a few interesting ones.



Totm Attempt #1: Butterfly
I WILD during an afternoon nap, trying to complete the Totm.
I'm quite confident that I'll manage to succeed on the first try.

My dream starts on "the beach".
For some reason some of my WILD's randomly seem to start out on this beach.
It always looks the same, and it is always dusk.
I remember the Totm and approach the water in order to walk on it.
This is going to be easy I have done this many times before.

But as I approach the beach I suddenly spot a butterfly.
It is extremely colorful, with very colorful and vivid patterns on its wings.
It's emitting glowing particles.
I follow it, intrigued as to where it is going and completely forget about the Totm.


Totm Attempt #2:
I have another dream of being lost in an unknown hotel.
I become lucid and remember the Totm.
The dream is unstable and I'm not thinking very clearly.
Instead of stabilizing, I start running around aimlessly, attempting to find a water surface.
The dream quickly fades to black and ends.


The hibiscus girl:
I had another dream about the hibiscus girl: Another mysterious woman / Emotional and sensory overload - Dream Journals - Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views
Unfortunately my recall of it is quite bad.

This time we are on the surface of another planet.
She has a red hibiscus attached to her left ear, looking very similar to the one drawn on her bikini last time.
We're having a discussion, I demand to know who she is.
She refuses to tell me though.
It seems clear by now that she is reading my DJ, I'm considering that she might be a DV member.
I make the comment that she has an "unfair advantage" over me, because she's able to read my DJ, yet I know nothing about her.

But she keeps denying my requests, and says that she likes being in control.
I remember that last time she was able to drag me to another place by simply looking into my eyes.
I attempt to do the same thing to her, and manage to drag her to the beach.

This surprises her quite a bit, but it also seems to amuse her.
I say that I never stated that I write everything down in my online DJ, she might be in for a few surprises.
She makes a comment that makes me believe that this is some sort of game to her.
I somehow understand this reasoning though and begin to share it.


Totm Attempt #3:
I decide to attempt the Totm yet again. I'm determined to complete both tasks.
I do it during an afternoon nap yet again since I had some success last time, except that I got distracted.

Surprisingly, I enter the dream on the beach yet again.
This time I decide to stabilize the dream though, and calm my mind.
I rub my hands and slowly approach the sea.
I feel the sand beneath my toes. It's still moderately warm.

For some reason I'm a bit nervous as I start walking on the water surface.
Oddly enough I seem to be afraid to fail, even though I've done it many times before.
Fortunately, it works flawlessly.
I walk on the water, deeper into the sea with my arms stretched out for additional balance.

Alright, so far so good, controlling elements is next.
I look at my right hand and make it catch on fire.
This is quite straightforwards as I have manipulated fire many times before.
But what other element could I possibly manipulate?
Water...? No. That's probably too hard.

I create an arc of lightning between two of my fingers.
I think that I have completed the Totm for a moment, but then realize that lighting isn't exactly one of the 4 elements.
What were the other ones again?
Fire, Water... Earth? I wouldn't know what to do with earth...
Wind it is.

I compress some of the air around me into my right fist and release it forwards.
This creates a shock and air is propelled forwards.
The pressure upsets the water surface.

I'm not really satisfied with the result though.
I do the same thing again, this time compressing much more air.
This time it creates a small tornado, that runs flat over the water surface.
It lifts some of it up and sprays it all over the place.

I'm quite satisfied, and happy that I managed to complete both tasks within a single dream.
I decide to dive into the sea to see if I'll find something interesting, but it doesn't take long until I wake up.


Destiny:
After a long time, I've started having dream fragments of "Destiny" yet again: Recurring dream about a spaceship mission to find extraterrestrial life. - Dream Journals - Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views
None of them drove "the plot" forward though.
I was always on board the Destiny completing a random task.
My memories of the dream fragments are quite vague.