The Kestrel's Dreams

June 21, 2014

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orange text = Lucid


Okay, so this one was really weird and hard to describe. I'll do the best I can. I went with my parents to a property they recently bought in the northern part of the state in which I live. We were camping; I was in my own tent while my parents slept in another tent a few feet away. I couldn't sleep very well because of this super-duper annoying-ass cricket that must have made its life goal to keep me awake.
Anyways. This is the dream(s?) I had:


I was with my parents on the same property we actually were visiting; but it was in the near future, when the house we're planning to build there had just been finished. But it "wasn't open" yet, and we were staying in the same tents were actually were in, out in the yard. I had woken up because of a really annoying cricket (this is why it's so confusing. I think I may have fallen asleep and inserted everything before this point, but not actually dreamed it...? I may have also unintentionally WILDed. I HAD been thinking about it as I tried to fall asleep all night, so I was in the right mindset for it I think?)

Anyways, it was only about 6am (in the dream), and I had just woken up, but I was still tired; I got out of the tent because the cricket was being a bitch, and walked around outside. The sun was nice and warm, and I wandered around a bit. I thought I saw an old friend of mine, whom I met online a loooong time ago. He was walking around the other properties surrounding my family's. But it didn't really look like him. I had the strong impression that it was Alex, though. But I chose not to call out to him, mostly because my parents were there and it would be weird, or something. I walked around for a while, always noting where Maybe-Alex was, and eventually stopped seeing him around. I was so tired still, so I laid down in the grass to try and sleep. Here, it was strange, because I knew I was outside, but at the same time I was also inside and could see a kid I used to babysit peaking out of a crib at me and giggling. It was a bit like when you let your eyes try to battle each other for what you're seeing. Sometimes it's what your right eye sees, and it's sometimes what your left eye sees. It's hard to describe, but if you don't have a dominant eye, like me, you might better know what I'm talking about...

Anyways, then I must have fallen asleep for a bit. The next thing I knew, my parents were waking me up and telling me it was about time to get going. I told them about seeing the kid in the crib, when I thought I saw Maybe-Alex out of the corner of my eye, but when I looked at the spot where I thought he was, he'd vanished.

And then suddenly, there was a hand on my right shoulder, and Maybe-Alex was saying to my parents, "This little SLUT isn't quite so innocent as you think." And then all hell broke loose.
"What the fuck Alex, why are you saying that?!"
My mom yelled at me, "Kestrel, is that true?!"
And they forced me to go to a doctor to have a test done. The Doctor told my parents, "It's true, she's no longer a virgin." And my mom started crying and yelling angrily at me, my Dad turned his back on me and left the room with my mom. (this wouldn't happen IRL. They know I'm not, and don't really care. I mean I'm 22 for crying out loud)

So I'm laying in the hospital bed in the empty room, and the door opens. Maybe-Alex comes in, and I look at him, hurt. "Why did you do that? What did I do to make you call me a little slut?!" He would never do that IRL. Especially not in the tone he'd used. His voice was so malicious, so manipulating and cold.

"I had to be sure the mother of my child is hated by her parents; that way she has no where to turn but to me." He was so fucking calm and cold.

"And you think I'm having your baby?" I rolled my eyes.

"I know you're going to have my baby." And he locked the door. He came toward me with a really wicked grin on his face, and I suddenly felt scared. "There's no way you're Alex..."

"Nope~" He said in a singsongy voice, and I realized I must have been dreaming. I did a Reality Check, and it turned out I was dreaming.

I stared at whoever the guy was, and asked him, "are you The Face?"

"That may have been me. But that's not my name." He'd sat down at the edge of the bed, no longer threatening. He was still grinning a bit maliciously, though. Maybe it was more mischievous.

"Well what is your name?"

"You can call me whatever you want."

"I want to call you by your name."

"Not this time~"

I narrowed my eyes at him and suddenly remember the challenge of the month. I decided to try it, so I repeated, with the same singsongy intonation, "Not this time~"

He just raised his eyebrow and stared at me, silently. I couldn't tell if he was confused or just blank. I waited so long for him to say something else that the dream destabilized and I woke up.