20/10/2016 Might have had my first WILD
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, 10-20-2016 at 11:35 PM (442 Views)
I went to bed about at 23:30. I was very tired. I would have liked to meditate but i relaxed lying in bed. I fell asleep at 3:40. Late but all the time i was relaxing the body, so i had a good night of rest. I woke up at 8:55 and i dreamt with:
I was on a field with some other people and there was a barn. Past the barn there was a field full of straw. It was probably like 10 miles like that... or more. However there was a sniper that would shoot us if we walked on that straw. So... as soon as we passed the barn we just jumped to the ground, and if he shooted us then ok, if he didn't very good. He didn't shoot, maybe he didn't saw us or wasn't quick enough. We were looking for a diamond in all that straw.
Then Joako, Fede and another guy approach me to mock how i played football. I get angry but i was powerless... Then i hear him spreading rumours about me with a taxi driver, and although i would let that pass because i don't really care i said the taxi driver that it wasn't true (actually i think this is better action than let it pass, but still not caring). I saw the transportist that took me from school to my house when i was at highschool so i decided to leave with him. I opened the front door, but there was Sofia and Lucia. So i went at the back. Then i saw that also Victoria L was also there. I wasn't going with Noel anymore so i worried about how i was going to pay to him (i recalled a lot of times he "saved me" in my dreams... so i would have to pay all that. I wanted to pay all that. Also i would like to be more self-reliable from now on, either walking or taking a bus, or being lucid). As we were going out of school i saw Fede standing in the street, so i take my arm out the window and slap him in the forehead. Nobody saw me, not even him probably. But immediately after i did that i regretted it. Victoria asked for internet password and although i didn't know it i gave it to them.
Then i had a false awakening. I was on the kitchen and saw a kg of flour, which actually i know there wasn't (in the dream apparently my sister bought it), and some scons. I ate the scons. Then i don't remember anything else.
Then i got up. Went to the bathroom (it was 9AM) and went to the kitchen. Right then i realized i have had a FA before. I checked if that was a dream but it wasn't. I ate some peanuts, drank some milk. Then drank some water and went to bed to try WILD. This lasted about 5 minutes.
So i lied in bed and started relaxing the body with the breaths. At first i just watched the breath, particularly how it felt in the head. Then i started counting as i was relaxing. Then i thought i was relaxed enough to sleep, that maybe i could fall asleep at any moment. I counted up to 30 and i felt that i could dive at any moment, but i reminded myself to still keep counting and forget of actively diving. Then i turned to my right side and started again, watching my breath and counting. I don't remember if i counted, and if i did i counted up to 20. I tried to remain aware the whole process but also knew i had to let sleeping occur. So i fell asleep and didn't experience any HI or sleep paralysis, vibrations, sounds... i just went straight to a dream. As soon i was in the dream i knew it was a dream, but also i didn't believe it so much because it could just collapse at any moment, because i was aware of my body lying at bed. So in the dream i was in my home city, Rio Cuarto, in front of Saint Francisco Church. It was at night. I thought of getting involved in the dream to let it unfold and so gain lucidity later when the dream was completely formed. BAD IDEA. I thought that if i didn't do anything the dream would just collapse, but getting involved in the dream as if it were a nonlucid it was just plainly a bad idea, at least do it lucidly! that's what WILDs are for! Well... i wasn't too logical at that moment. So i headed in front of the church, coming from a supermarket (that supermarket might be like 6 blocks away, but in the dream it seemed like 2 blocks). And i had 2 bags full of groseries and one bag with a box of shoes. The bag of groseries were so heavy that one of the bags was about to fall to the ground. So i grabbed it differently, and they were definitely lighter when i put them at the height of my chest. Then i just put the bags in the shoe bag. And at this moment a memory of awareness came again, that it was a dream, but i let that go...Then i start hearing canticles from the church saying "The inmortal is always with me/us. The inmortal won't let you go...". It was a christian church, and i just decided that it was time to leave. Then next to the church there was a bar, and my father was there drinking a beer or something in the street. He tells me "It would "good" (or interesting) to hear the song from a psychological point of view". I reacted like being angry because i wouldn't like to hear that song! I heard Christian songs before and they make no sense to me, so i wouldn't hear this one. I replied something like "why would i hear a song of another religion than mine?" although that question was vague, i could have had replied something better, wiser, more open. But i felt tired in the dream... like if i had duties... I was carrying 3 bags and i just have forgotten that it was a dream and that i could simply put the bags on the ground and forget about them, or donate the things of whatever... Well I think i need more resolve, and more practice. Then i woke up and recorded the canticle. Then i thought about it and i was sure that they referred to "god", but then i thought it from the point of view of Buddhism and the inmortal refers actually to nibbana, and some monks that share some of their experiences said that they experienced a happiness, a tranquility that hasn't left from the time they experienced it, be it 4 years, 40 years or whatever (Ajaan Liem and Ajaan Maha Boowa). So i felt relieved by this and felt glad having dreamt with this when i woke up. It was a christian church and i know their path doesn't aim nibbana, but since there aren't any buddhist temples in Argentina (just one Zen temple i think, and some Dojos of Tibetan Buddhism in BSAS) i interpret it that a message of Buddhism could have come from a church.
This dream lasted about 20 minutes, so i could have tried a DEILD or something like that. But i didn't felt like it. I also thought it would be ideal to wake up since i was rested. But i didn't. Maybe i would have a long dream in which i could become lucid. I slept for about 3 hours, almost 4 and lying in my chest.
I dream being in "casa tia" (a supermarket).
I don't have time for the act.
I am in a river and there are jaguars there. However i didn't get hurt. This was in alpacorral (and looked like Santa Rosa)
I am in a playhouse (pelotero) and there are some mattresses. We were at some height. If we fell we were going to get eaten by some animals and die. There were people thrown there.
Then i decide to go homeless. My family was together, and they were in a car. They were wealthy but i thought they might be fools for that, being blinded by money. So i left home. I went to a Buddhist temple in Alpacorral (there isn't any) and asked for a room there. They gave me a room, and it was completely empty. It was fine for me, since i like to sleep on the floor (although i usually put something not to feel cold. I dont mind hardness). They were doing chanting and i didn't want to get involved so i just went to this room. There was a small Buddha statue in the front wall however. I thought what to do now, i had no future at all... and i was free. I thought about meditating but maybe i just could not focus because of the chanting next door. So i knew i had with me a bag with medicine. I open it and saw many different pills and a small metal box. I open it and it had nails: a copper nail an iron nail and another nail (maybe silver). It was to put it on the bones of the fingersThen i woke up.