Mezzanine

10/08/2009

Date With Criner

All I can remember is a guy I work with who is a total misogynist being really sweet on what seemed to be a date. I remember being in his car and then getting out of the car to go somewhere and I left my shoes in the front seat. The car's a convertible but I feel safe that no one will take my shoes. Upon coming back to the car, I find that my shoes are in fact gone, but my cell phone and iPod are still there.

Mike Boger's Uncle's House

I'm driving somewhere in a wooded area with Mike Boger. (We've had a falling out recently over his choice of women he dates.) We drive to what looks like a dead end, but it's like a mountain of beautiful flowers! I tell him to stop so I can take a picture. It seems like he's still driving very very slowly to screw up my picture taking on purpose because none of my pictures are turning out right, they're all blurry. So I yell at him to damnit, stop the car!

He stops the car and we get out. He says this is his uncle, the Duke of ____?___'s house. We approach the house on the side of the beautiful flower mountain and there are horses in a barn. They have flowers all over them, too. My pictures of them didn't turn out, either, because they were moving around too much. So Mike goes up a staircase into the house and I'm thinking, shouldn't he call first to let someone know he's there? (He is famous for showing up unexpectedly.) I follow him up the stairs to find another smaller white horse in the house. Someone comes around the corner and says I must be Mike's friend. He takes me into the living room where there are a couple of dogs and... another horse. I don't find it strange that there are these horses in the house, though.

I look out the window and see a beautiful lake. It's crystal clear and the water is so blue. Mike suggests that we go sail in his boat. (This is so weird, he totally has a boat that I had forgotten about... but it's not a sailboat.) I tell him I have to go to the bathroom first. I go to the bathroom and there are floor to ceiling windows, but there are also sheer drapes covering them. I can see out the window through the drapes at his family chillin on the wraparound porch. I'm done going to the bathroom and I walk out to the porch. I'm looking out into the lake and I see two horses swimming and playing a game in the water. Upon closer inspection, they're dunking a yellow Nissan Xterra and another smaller car into the water. It will pop back up and they will dunk them again. They seem to be having a lot of fun with this.

I find my friend from high school, Shelley, in another room. She's telling me to get my sunglasses and get ready to go to the boat. We walk out of the house and down a long walkway covered in like... I guess it's astroturf... the stuff on a miniature golf course. We get to the end and there's a dock for boats extending really far into this lake. I try to take more pictures. Then I wake up.

10/07/2009

Captured!

Funny, I don't remember being captured, but I sure am a captive. I can see a city in ruins because we're in the middle of a war. I don't know where I am, but I feel like I'm in Iraq. My captor is an Indian man who looks like the wedding planner from the movie "Monsoon Wedding." (I can't find a picture!) He's in love with me. I think we were making out. Next I'm in a house of some sort and I'm in a bedroom. But the door has one of the panels cut out of it so I can see what's going on outside. There are some people trying to break into the room next to mine, then they try to get into mine. It's a bunch of Indian kids! They're pissed off and have knives and are trying to cut me through the door! They're pushing on the door and I'm pushing back so they can't open it. They get it open just enough for a small black dog to come into my room. I'm ok with this. Then I turn around and find out I'm actually in a bathroom and I turn back around to the door and the kids are gone, instead there are people waiting in line to go to the bathroom. I turn around again and I see my friend from middle school, Chris Lennon, going to the bathroom or washing his hands, I can't tell which because his back is to me. He turns around and I see that he is actually a woman. I'm so floored by this, but I still remember I'm a captive so I tell him, I've been here for a month and a week, how did he get here?? Somehow I end up getting his phone number that he wrote on a piece of paper that read that his name is actually Christie.


Mark's House

Now I'm playing basketball in my old neighborhood in Illinois with my old neighbors Mark and Skip. This is strange because I never really played basketball with them and now they're being particularly nice to me. Mark starts to go home, so I follow him and he sits on his porch. I see his mom inside through the glass storm door. I open the door to say hey and she says to close it so I don't let the air conditioning out. I ask if I can come inside and she says yes. I ask if I should take my shoes off and she says no. I get inside and she says she's making waffles and pancakes for breakfast. I sit down but tell her that I hate waffles and pancakes (which I totally do!). When I look at my plate, though, I see pizza. So I start eating it. Everything's pretty normal and she asks me how long I've been back. I tell her only a couple of days. She asks what I'll be doing for work. I tell her that I work at Barnes and Noble and think for a minute. I tell her that I can't really fly back and forth and commute to work, so I'll probably just get transferred to a store here in Illinois. I was standing on the stairs as we're having this conversation, then I come downstairs and start playing with the dog. I feel really welcome here. Just good vibes.

10/06/2009

Doing Laundry

I'm somewhere doing laundry. Andrea's throwing stuff at me from across the room to put into the washer. But she's throwing it all under the washer. Under the washer is like a flame you'd find on a gas stove. so all the clothes are burning up! I'm telling her to stop doing that, but she can't see that she's doing anything wrong. All of a sudden, my mom's on the other side of the room telling me what I'm doing wrong. I just keep telling her to shut the fuck up, but she keeps talking. I'm getting so so angry at her. So I leave and walk into a different room where I feel like I'm shopping. There are all sorts of backpacks (which I've actually been thinking about getting a new backpack because mine got some sand in it from going to the beach and now sand's getting all in my school stuff!) with like tropical patterns on them. I really just want a plain one and can't find one. Andrea shows me one that's got clear plastic sides and I tell her that won't do because I don't want everyone knowing what's in my bag(like what's in my bag that's so special anyway??!!!).

10/05/09

OK, so school, life, etc. happened. But I was in Spanish class the other day and someone mentioned having "one of those dreams where you wake up and go to the bathroom and go back to bed and then you really wake up." Yes, totally, a false awakening, right? Yeah, that's what it's called! So I realized I totally miss my DJ. Here's some catch up dreams:

Lately I've had a few dreams where I've been really pissed off at my dad. In one dream, I recall he had something really hot and pressed it to my face and was burning me with it and I was screaming at him that he doesn't even know what he's doing!!! In other dreams I'm just frustrated and mad at him.

Last night I dreamed I had a fight with my sister on the phone. She said she was moving to Quebec. I told her I don't believe her because she lies all the time (true), I can't trust her (true), and I wish I didn't get stuck with a shitty sister like her anyway (also true)!!! It felt so so good to get that off my chest, even if it was only in a dream.

I had a lucid where I couldn't gain control and I just remember it being a strange situation so I just rolled back into normal dreaming.

OK, here's a weird one: I'm in a pet store like digging hamsters or guinea pigs out of the dirt in the floor... but they're in habitats and they're really hungry because they've been underground for so long. I try to get them some food when I walk by a wall of aquariums of various exotic fish. They look prehistoric. One tank has the lid off and there's what appears to be a tiny shark spitting water at me!! Then I hear a voice overhead saying that the end of the world is coming and there's nothing I can do to stop it.

I have some more dreams of being in the bathroom and people walking in on me as usual.

I had one last night or the night before about being a bird... and having a bird buddy with me watching some other birds hunt for worms. We decided they were from the Philippines. Then one little bird who was hurt was looking for some worms and I felt like he was scared that the other birds would attack him. So my bird buddy and I went and scooped him up and brought him to safety. The little hurt bird thanked us and said we should smoke with him. So we started smoking what looked like some thorny stems of plants and I don't even know how we lit it but we were smoking it! (I love the uncomplicated nature of dreams sometimes!)

Anyway, I've had some pretty bizarre dreams as you can tell, and I hope to get more into my DJ on a regular and get into have more memorable lucids!

It's good to be back!!

3/26/2009

Lucid School

have to actually *get* to school. more on this later:

money at the cash register

money on the floor

lighters on the floor

stupid boys

magazines on T

I'm sad I never went back to fill in this entry. I remember a little bit about it, but I don't know how I became lucid. I know I sometimes find money in my dreams and pick it up and put it in my pocket. I think I was finding money everywhere, and then I was selling magazines in a neighborhood. I really wish I could remember.

Monday night 3/16/09

I'm at a department store and it's like an audition to be in a commercial. There's a couple of racks of clothes and I have to pick out an outfit to audition in. The strange thing is, it's me and a bunch of little girls. None of the clothes look like they'll fit me. So I find some bigger clothes that look like they'll fit, but there are pinstripe pants and vests and shirts and nothing looks like I can make a decent outfit out of it. SO I do the best I can and take some clothes into the fitting room. I keep poking my head out and watching some of the other girls do their audition. When I'm in the fitting room, I am having the hardest time buttoning my shirt. I can hear the guy giving the auditions say that he's all done for the day and I stick my head out the door and tell him to wait for me! I still can't button my shirt. I wake up.

I'm at an amusement park at the Jurassic Park attraction. It's like when you stand in line for a ride in Universal Studios or Islands of Adventure and it's all set up like you're walking through a movie set. I'm working there with about ten other people and we're actors. I'm walking around like I'm hunting dinosaurs and someone says that the people will be coming to get in line soon. So now there are people in line and my part is to act like some killer bug that has been turned over on its back and can't flip back over. I'm thinking Gregor Samsa from Kafka's Metamorphosis. But I don't have a costume. It's like third person now and I can see myself acting like a complete asshole.

Next thing I know it's a water ride and I'm watching the boats come out of the ride and going down that last drop into the water. At one point, I see a little kid that's under an overhang under where the boats come out. Every time a boat has come out the water rises and I see that where this kid is, the water will go right up over him and he'll drown. So I yell for hem to stop the ride and I can see the people on the boat thinking they're going to go over the edge and then they stop. Some guy runs out and grabs the kid and brings him to the first aid place that's right there. I'm looking over a guard rail on the side of the attraction area and I feel in my mouth like hardening wax. I start spitting this wax stuff over the rail and it's like Halloween wax lips. But it won't stop coming out of my mouth and it's uncomfortable. So I go over to the first aid area and the kid that just got rescued is experiencing the same problem. It's starting to be like an epidemic. Then I wake up. All freaked out.

I was driving to work and pulled my car up into the parking garage, but it was more like the valet area of the Tropicana Hotel (in Atlantic City where we just stayed for vacation). I pulled up into a restricted area and a parking police person pulled up behind me and I stuck my head out the window to tell them that I'm leaving. They left and I got out of my car and I see a cash register. I get behind it and start ringing people up. I rang up the same girl like three or four times and I got confused about how much change to give her back. Somehow I called a manager and told them I needed to count down my drawer and figure out how much change I owe this girl.

I guess I gave up on waiting for someone to come, so I got back in my car and drove to a neighborhood and parked my car and got out. I walked around and found I was at a school. It looked like my college campus, but it was really a daycare. There were people in blue shirts giving a tour and when I walked into all the different rooms, there were different activities going on for all the kids. I left and went looking for my car and didn't remember where I parked it. I had my key chain and I kept hitting the lock doors button to make the horn honk. I would hear it and run off in that direction. I swear I was all over the neighborhood looking for my car. I finally found it and the last thing I remember is driving around running red lights.

Underprivileged Kids Camp

I'm at some event. Like I'm in a hotel and there are all these other people there I guess training to be camp counselors. All the hotel rooms are enclosed in glass instead of walls so you can see everything that's going on in the rooms. I've lost the person I came there with. I'm looking all over the hotel for them. I walk to the end of this hallway and there's some people on a couch and I recognize one is this girl Beth who I was seeing briefly before I got together with Andrea. I think nothing of it really and I go peek my head into the room at the end of the hall. Inside this room are four people playing video games. One is my ex Missy! I ask them if they saw whoever I was looking for and they said no so I left and kept looking. I saw Beth get up off the couch and go into the room I was just in.

Slot Machine Hunting

I leave the hotel with the camp counselor training and now I'm in a casino. I've got a device that is pointing out where the loose slot machines are. Funny, it seems like I'm in a computer lab from school because of the way the machines are set up. Every machine that my device pointed out (it was a little electronic circle that beeped louder and faster when it detected a good slot machine) had someone sitting at it already. So I just hung around and waited for someone to get off their machine. Finally this one girl walks away and I notice that the machine still had nine dollars left in it. I barely sit down and the girl comes back saying she had just gotten up to get a drink. So I get up and apologize and she gives me some money. It's foreign.

I walk around and try to find a place to exchange this money for American money. I walk up to the cashier and tell him of my dilemma. He has behind him a big board telling the exchange rates of different countries' money. I don't know what country my money is from, so I just hand it to him. He says he can't exchange this money because it's from a communist country. I'm sort of upset and he says just kidding. He looks at my money a little more closely and tells me that it's worth $1500. I think, well, I'm only going to be here for two days, why not give me half of that and I'll keep the rest here in the bank. So he gives me some paperwork to fill out with a fancy pen that writes in purple glitter. I had it back to him and he gives me the money.

Next thing I know I'm with my mom, dad, and sister and we're on the way into the casino and I think we have to cross the casino floor to get to the parking garage. I'm telling them I'm going to get the car. In order to get into the casino, they're doing some sort of security check and you have to take your shoes off and they give you slipper boots instead. Like Isotoners. I'm arguing with the security woman and some lady breaks through the line and she looks like she's insane. She's just running back and forth trying to get out of the casino and she can't figure out how to go out the bank of glass doors. The security lady tries to stop her and when the woman runs back my way I try to tackle her. I end up not getting the slippers and I walk toward the man in the cashier booth.

Lucid Casino #2

I approach the cashier desk. Behind the counter are two men and a huge vault that requires both of them to open it. One of the men is wearing a white button up dress shirt and boxers but no pants. Once the doors are open money starts pouring out of it, but it's like huge coins the size of frisbees. They're not making any clanking noises as they're spilling out onto the floor. I realize that because of this, I must be dreaming. I hop over the counter and confront the guy in the boxers. I realize that he's just a dream character and I can do whatever I want. I must have been feeling particularly naughty so I tried to grab his package and realized it was abnormally small. I felt bad for him and went over to the other guy. I think I went inside the vault and there were packages of baseball cards all over the place. I was mentioning something about how I used to collect baseball cards and then I look at the guy and realize he looks like Anthony Edwards from ER. I asked him if he wanted to put his hand in my pants and he said yes. Right as he was going to, I felt myself slipping out of the dream and I woke up.

Spiderman @ the Mall

I fell back asleep and had another lucid dream! I'd never had more than one in a night! I have a hard time remembering how this started, but I was in a mall, and I remember something about Spiderman being there. Like visually I remember him, but not in what context. So I get the idea that I can jump all around from floor to floor in the mall. I remember thinking, "wow, this is what my subconscious thinks a mall looks like." I'm performing some crazy acrobatics and gravity defying maneuvers. I was looking over the railing from the second floor and I just hung over the edge and my feet slipped and I was falling, but I made invisible wires come out of nowhere to anchor me to the ceiling so I wouldn't hit the ground. I remember a big Christmas display. Then I was jumping through what looked like a Halloween display. I think this was my longest lucid so far.

Porn Store Klepto

I really wish I could remember what this one was about. I think it had something to do with stealing sunglasses.

2/11/09

Bomb the School

I'm in an auditorium at school. Andrea's sitting next to me sticking long skinny things in my mouth and I'm annoyed at this. I think one thing was a q-tip and I bit it in half. I left and found a classroom with a pizza and cheesebread on a desk at the front of the room. I am telling myself that it won't matter if I take some of this pizza because I'm just going to blow up the school anyway. I take half of the pizza and stick it on a napkin and walk out of the classroom.

Next thing I know, some administrators are telling me to find my ex boyfriend Mike because they suspect that he's going to blow up the school. That's odd, I thought that was my plan?? Anyway, I go outside and look for him and I see him walking away from me across the yard. There's a creek and it's all swampy, but daylight outside. I have lost track of my pizza and am now crouched in the swamp following Mike. He sees me and starts walking toward me. He says everything's ok, everything's just fine, but I grab him by the waist and tell him not to go and that everything's not fine!! I woke up because my alarm wet off.

2/10/09

Steam Makeup

I must be at the mall but it feels like a more intimate setting. I'm watching a woman put makeup on a girl, but it's no ordinary makeup. In order to "seal" this makeup, she's got to use a hand held steamer to the girl's face. I watch her smear some liquid makeup on this girl's nose and then steam it so it stays. When she moves the steamer away, the girl's nose is a shade or two darker than the rest of her face.

I must be really interested in what's going on, so I walk up and have a conversation with the woman who's applying the makeup. She looks like she's airbrushed... sort of. I tell her that I really only use makeup to cover up blemishes and that I have roseacea. She shows me where she has covered up her own blemishes and it looks decent enough. She offers to do a demonstration on me.

I sit in this chair that is really poofy and it's hard for the woman to reach me. So I sit up on my knees and lean forward. She puts the liquid makeup on the left side of my nose and puts the steamer up to it. I can feel the makeup getting hard. I touch my face when she's done and it feels like plastic! I look in the mirror and it's kind of shiny and obviously something's different about that part of my face. I'm pissed. She brings me over to a table and on it are plastic discs in a box. She said these are samples of textures that the makeup can turn out like. I think it was still in the experimental stages. I remember seeing four other girls waiting their turn and they were all looking at new tennis shoes they had just bought.

The Bum in the Bathroom

I believe I had just left the makeup extravaganza and I had to go to the bathroom. I'm walking down the street now looking for a fast food place or a gas station to go to. I find a "community center" and dip in. I find the bathroom and go in. It looks pretty nasty, but I have to go. I go into a stall and pull my pants down. To my left is a cut out area from the wall separating me from the next stall. There's a homeless man in there asking me if I'll give him a hand job!!!! I was shocked and told him absolutely not and that he's in the girls' bathroom anyway, what is he doing there??

I am pissed because I can't go to the bathroom and pull my pants up and leave. I go to the boys' bathroom. The door is closing, and it's not a swinging door like on most public bathrooms, it's got a doorknob on it. I turn the knob and a guy asks me if I'm coming in or not... he has no clothes on. I figure I don't care what's going on in there, I have to pee. So I go in and find a stall, and this bathroom is so much nicer than the girls' room. There are tons of guys in there. I think I threw off the plan, though, because from under my stall I can see the guy putting his pants back on. THEN when I look up, my door is open and everyone is watching me. I close the door and look up and the guy who let me in is peeking over my stall!!!! So I say the hell with this and leave.

I'm still on a mission to go to the bathroom. I am on the street again and I find like a club and there's a band playing. I go in and find the bathroom. It's huge. I go into a stall and the toilet is right up against the wall so I have to sit off the side of it. The stalls are short and I could see some girls coming in. Now my wall has disappeared again and I watch them go into a stall a few stalls down. I look up and there's a ledge with some cds on it. There are maybe forty in the stack. I grab them and start flipping through them. They seem like pirated copies of movies. All the titles are hand written. One says, "Conspiracy Theory, Rare."

As I'm looking through these cds I can feel myself taking a shit. I look around for some toilet paper, but all I can find is a calendar on the wall. It looks like someone had made it themself, not like one you buy in a store. So I grab a few pages and wipe. I knew this was ok because the pages were from January and it's February now. I go to stand up and this girl is standing on the outside of my stall and she freaked me out being there. I flushed the toilet. She handed me some jewelry and said she had found where I buried it. It was a really nice gold ring with channel set purple stones, maybe tanzanite, and a necklace. The girls who came in earlier are now behind me and they look in my toilet. Apparently I needed to flush again. So I do. Now the girl who just handed me the jewelry says something about do I remember the four people I killed? I'm indignant because no I do not remember that!!! The dream faded after that.

The Lunch Line

The first thing I remember is something about a parking garage. I think I met up with some people and then we went to lunch. We get in the cafeteria and go our separate ways to get food. I can remember being in the lunch line and there was a weird chicken dish. And it was so confusing where to go to get a drink. And people were butting in front of me! It was very hectic in that lunch line! I got really frustrated and I think I woke myself up!

Night of 2/8/09

Filling in for a Jonas Brother

I'm on a stage. Playing a guitar. With two of the Jonas Brothers. (I think I had just seen them on the Grammys, that's why I had this dream. IRL I know nothing about them and don't care to.) I have an awesome electric guitar! It's baby blue! All of a sudden, we all decide to find a member of the audience and give them our guitars and let them play. I walk out into the crowd and I see my ex boyfriend from elementary school, Dave. I don't think he recognizes me because he doesn't say anything. So I find a guy in the crowd and give him my guitar. I tell him that he'd better be good and not let me down. I go sit in the audience and Dave comes and sits next to me. "The first half of my life," he says. I think he's referring to our childhood. When I wake up I realize that he moved away fourteen years ago, which is half our lives ago.

Night of 2/7/09

My Lost Ring

Backstory: I had this really nice sapphire and diamond ring that my dad got for me for a birthday. I don't know when it dawned on me that I couldn't find it. I've been looking everywhere for it for more than a year now. I keep wondering if it's just somewhere that I haven't looked yet, but I think that maybe it was stolen. My parents' house is always really busy and there are people always coming in and out so there's a good chance that someone just went in my room and helped themselves to it.

So I'm in a house that I don't recognize as my own. I think I'm in a finished attic because I don't see any windows. In the corner of the room is shelving built into the walls and some drawers. I look in one of the drawers and find a jewelry box. I open it up and tucked into the corner is a piece of paper. Written on it is an apology from my ex Lauren saying that if I just keep looking, I'll find my lost ring. I don't know why I never saw this note before and I start looking in all the corners of the box and there are drawers in the box and I keep finding all this jewelry! I go back to the shelves and find more boxes to look through and it seems like it's just all jewelry all different kinds. I don't have the feeling that I'm snooping around someone else's stuff, and that note was just for me, so it must be my room. I just keep looking and looking and don't find my ring.

The Souvenir Shop

I'm at what seems to be a beach souvenir shop. I'm looking through a shelf of suntan lotion. All the bottles are clear and shaped like Bond #9 perfume bottles. They all have different names on them of suntan lotions and they're not in any particular order. I don't know exactly what I'm even looking for. I take a bottle up to the register when I see a display of those drink mugs that you put in the freezer and there's liquid in them that freezes to keep your drink cold. I walk over and start looking and see one with a picture of the Simpsons on it. I think my dad would want it so I take it to the register to buy it.

School / Grocery Store

Next thing I know I'm in school. It's my old middle school. I'm walking around finding these gold coins all over the place. I'm just walking around looking at the ground finding these coins. It didn't feel like I was in a video game or anything, though. I had the notion that it was a competition and whoever found the most coins won, but only a certain group of people was looking for the coins because not everyone was looking for them.

I made my way to class still looking for coins and it must have been Spanish class because the teacher was handing back our group compositions. I got my group's back and gave a high five to the other guy I was working with because we got a hundred "because we're awesome!" is what I told him.

Now I'm in a grocery store. Instead of looking for gold coins, I find class rings all over the place. I saw one and it was from a student who went to Harvard and I stuck it in my pocket. Then I realize that they're part of a display but I didn't put the ring in my pocket back where I found it. (I think I'm a klepto in my dreams, I'm forever finding stuff and putting it in my pockets!) I find my way over to the vegetable section and see my ex Mike standing there looking at vegetables. Someone else, a girl, walks up and asks what he's wearing, and I say, "of course it's the Cool Water I got him when I was on vacation in Spain." (Which it true, I did go to Spain and bring him back Cool Water.) He must not have noticed me until then and turns to me and says that he's so glad to see me and things aren't working out with "Sara" and he still has feelings for me and he knows I still have feelings for him.

I woke up wondering what was up with 2 of my exs coming up in one night.

Night of 2/6/09

Two-Sided Beach

I know I've had dreams in this location more than once. I start at a beach. Nice sand, beautiful water, but there aren't really any waves, so it must not be the ocean, but a lake or a bay. I wade out into the water and there are tons of people, almost too many to be able to get anywhere in the water. I don't think I've gone too far when I see the other side of this body of water and it's just another beachy shore. This is strange to me because I've never been to a place like this IRL and it comes up in my dreams enough that I recognize it.

You're in Middle School?

I'm in a school hallway and I'm walking somewhere. I see teachers as they're coming out of their classrooms and each one of them is doing that thing where you make glasses on your face when you make the "ok" gesture with both hands and flip them upside down so that the "o"s are over your eyes and your other fingers are cupping your chin. I'm really happy as I'm walking down the hall and I do it back at them! Everyone's smiling and having a good time with this.

So I make it to a staircase and realize I'm on the second level. On the staircase are students eating lunch. They've got their food all spread out and they're sitting in little groups eating and talking. There is no way to navigate my way down the stairs unless I sort of shimmy down the banister. So I start going down the left hand side with my butt on the railing and my hands balancing me and my feet are tiptoeing over the kids' food. I finally get to the bottom and see that it's the lunchroom. I stop at a table and start talking to a girl who's by herself eating lunch. I don't remember what was said, but I asked her was she like a sophomore or junior and she said she's only fourteen and in the 8th grade. I was stunned that she was in middle school because she looked much older and was acting so mature.

Night of 2/5/09

Breaking into Victoria's Secret

I wish I could remember how this started. I was just so stunned when I woke up from this that I could only focus on the end.

I'm in Victoria's Secret at a mall. I think I was shopping for something, but I'm wearing my new pajamas (that I just bought from Victoria's Secret yesterday!!). I look at the door and it's two glass doors that are closed and locked. A mall security guard comes up and opens the doors and comes in. He doesn't see me, so I sit down in a chair and pretend I'm asleep. Or a mannequin. I don't know which. I think my eyes are open though, so I see what was going on. The security guard comes in with a guy and a girl and they're both wearing dangly earrings.

Next thing I know, I'm being interrogated by the security guard and the guy with the earrings on and now he's only got one earring in. The security guard asks me how I got in there and I said, "I don't know, I'm dreaming, I must have dreamed myself in here!!" (Makes perfect sense, right? Like I knew VS was a real place and I could really be in there, but not after it was closed. I'm stuck with not knowing whether this counts as lucid or not.)

I go on to explain that, "All I know is that this guy was looking for his earring and he had two before and only one now. Then you start interrogating me about how I got in here." I was so confident in my answers. I'm amazed that this happened in my dream... that I told someone I was dreaming.

Michael Cera at Toys 'R' Us

I'm at a toy store riding a BMX bike around. I ride around until I find that there's an event going on. My boss comes up to me and asks me to introduce the pro bike riders who are doing a demonstration. I get off my bike and grab a microphone and there are bleachers and people sitting everywhere. There are a couple of pro bike riders going up ramps and doing tricks. I walk down into an area that's kind of like a big box. There are no ramps, just walls. It's a special area where the bikers can go straight up a wall without a ramp or anything. I'm not even saying anything into this microphone, I'm just watching. One biker rides into the wall, goes up it and launches into the air. He does a flip and it looks like he's going to land on his side, but as he lands, he lands on a peg on the back wheel and just spins around parallel to the ground.

I leave this area and walk around looking at the crowd now like I'm security. A few other employees and I are talking when we see a biker, who is now on a motorcycle, crash into a little girl who is walking with her mom and little sister!! I run to the store manager, who can't be bothered about this, and she tells me to go find Jeff. I find Jeff and I'm yelling his name cuz he's in the area where the demonstration is and it's hard to hear because the crowd is cheering so loud. So I grab him and bring him to where the accident is. As I'm walking there, I accidentally step on the little sister's hand because she was crouched down with her mom checking on the girl that just got crashed into. She freaks out and screams, "I'm going to need an x-ray!!!!" And starts crying. SO I walk away.

I go down the aisles and I see people in brown uniforms putting stuff on the shelves. I figure it's the overnight crew. There are some Oakley sunglasses in a box by the baseball bats, so I grab a pair and put them on. They're like fake plastic little kid sunglasses. I should have known. I push them up onto my head. I see some employees by the cash registers talking and walk up to them. At one of the check out aisles, I see little tubes of M&M's and have a moment of clarity and realize I'm dreaming, but it fades as soon as I grab one of the tubes of M&M's and open it and pour some into my hand. I turn around and one of the employees is Michael Cera from the movie Superbad. I look a him and ask him point blank in front of everyone else if he would like a blow job. He looks so surprised. So I grab him by the hand and lead him to the restrooms. We go into the handicapped stall and he unzips his pants. He looks down and seems embarrassed because his penis is so small. I turn around and see that there's a mirror on the wall. I look in the mirror and see Michael behind me and now he has a penis growing out of the front of his neck. It is the worst penis I have ever seen. It has like polyps all over it and is bumpy and just bad.

Next thing I know, Michael and I are in the parking lot outside and I'm telling him I just couldn't do it, and I'm sorry, but I think he has an STD. He says, "STD stands for Southern Texas Defense!! I don't have that!!!"

Wow.