Nazrax

Wax's shootout
Wax is in a shootout. He's injured, out of metals, and trapped in a building. He finds some artifacts which grant abilities when held. He finds one which grants extra Investiture if he's injured. Holding it, he steps outside, gets shot, then steps back inside. Now that he's holding more Investiture, he looks through the artifacts trying to find the one which will turn him into a Bloodmaker.


Curtis, England
I'm in England, in a place called Curtis. My wife and I are walking along a wooded road, talking. We hear thunder, and she makes a comment about its cardinal direction. I look skeptically at her, and she's offended. I stop to think about it and realize she's probably intuiting that, since thunderstorms usually roll in from the north, this one is probably north of us too. Since we're walking on a winding path in the woods and can't see any landmarks, I can't think of any other way she could have known what direction it's in.

Now we're talking to Mr. Curtis, the localc pastor, and I realize the town must have been named after him. We tell him that my mom is moving back to England and ask him for a good recomendation of what church she can go to. We talk about how hard it is to switch from driving on the right to driving on the left.


Outside a club
I'm in a cafe-style restaurant sitting at a small circular table across from my wife. We're under some kind of balcony, near a column. The counter is off to my left. Looking at it, the wall behind it is massive, going up higher than the balcony lets me see. At first, I think the place is a theater, but it dawns on me that we're actually sitting outside a strip club. I see a huge sign on the wall advertising what's inside, but I can only make out part of it since most of it is blocked by the column. Eventually I move so that I can read the sign, and sure enough, it's advertising a strip club.

From my new perspective, I can see the side of the building. Each level has a door and a walkway connecting it to stairs. One of the doors opens and a young woman, dressed in normal street clothes, comes out.

Now my attention is back on the ground floor. I see a line forming to the left of the counter and going through a large doorway. Looking more closely, I see that the doorway is actually the entrance to the women's bathroom. Weird. My wife explains that they converted the women's bathroom into a second entrance since the main entrance was so clogged and no women ever come here.

Now I notice that some people are sitting down at the table we were previously at, but we left our stuff there. I go to collect it, telling the people they're welcome to sit there.


Fixing a lightswitch
I'm in a room with Alex. He's trying to fix a light switch, but he's having trouble. He leaves for a minute and comes back with more tools, including a saw-on-a-pole. It's way too large to be in here, and he nearly hits me with it as he's turning around. I hear someone on the stairs, and a maintenance/handyman comes in with even more tools.


Big FedEx truck
I'm walking along a road with someone else, and we see a tractor-trailer FedEx truck towing a small trailer. I'm bemused, and my companion explains that FedEx has a budget freeze, so they can't buy any new trucks; but they have more deliveries than ever, so they're having to send out large trucks instead of their traditional smaller trucks.


Fragment: Crazy girl's bedroom

Customs problems
I'm in line to go through customs. I'm going to be leaving England to come home. Thankfully, the line is short. Customs is just a guy sitting at a table - it's amazingly stress-free. I think the customs guy looks familiar, but I can't place him. Now I'm at the table and I realize I don't have my card out. I apologize and dive into my backpack, pulling out the cards from its card pocket. He's very laid back and doesn't mind at all. I root through the cards, but my passport isn't there. I sheepishly apologize again and say I'm going to go look for it. He still doesn't seem to mind at all, and he suggests that, if I can't find it, I could just become a citizen. I tell him that Mom is British, but that she never felt comfortable with a dual citizenship, but thanks for the advice. I note that he's wearing a Fitbit, but it's one I've never seen before: it looks like a large silver men's watch.

Now I'm back in my hotel room. As I start looking around for the card, a couple of women enter the room dressed in a casual uniform. They explain that it's Tuesday, so all the rooms get cleaned. I ignore them and keep looking around, especially in a stack on top of the little fridge in the room. Now I'm holding a long orange extension cord and looking out my open window towards the pool below. I think about throwing it down, but I refrain because I don't want to hit anyone. Now I'm in some kind of break area. My sister-in-law is heating up some pizza, and I realize I'm really hungry. The customs agent from before is also there, and he offers me a piece of fish he's just pulling out of the toaster oven. I ask him if he's sure, and he practically shoves a piece at me. It's the largest piece of breaded fish I've ever seen - it looks like a misshapen football.


Guild castle
I'm approaching what looks like a (small) modern recreation of a medieval castle. All the stones are black - it looks very ominous. Now I'm inside, in a small room, listening to people outside. It seems this is the guild house for some kind of gaming guild. Now I'm doing something with cards.


Fragment: The side of a craggy gray mountain.

Penny Arcade
I'm reading a Penny Arcade strip showing a video game character wandering into and through a dry, desolate land. The guy controlling the character (not sure if it's Gabe or Tycho) is constantly sneaking, rolling, dodgeing, etc, and is very proud of himself. The other guy is mocking him for it, since there's no-one to hide or run from, and special moves consume more water than usual. In the final panel, the character has died of dehydration, the mocker is even more smug, and the player is trying to make excuses that it was worth it anyway.


Collaring a bird
I'm outside with my wife. She sees large bird up in tree and decides to put a tracking collar on it. Now I'm up on our deck, and somehow I bring the tree down (it was already looking kind of dry and in poor health) without disturbing the bird. My wife is impressed. The way the tree's fallen, the top of the tree (and the bird) are on the other side of a fence. She tries to approach the bird, but it keeps backing away. It's an odd-looking bird - very large, with a long neck. I think it may be a vulture, but I'm not sure. Eventually she gives up and gives me collar, suggesting that I grab a couple of kids and get them to help by cornering it. Unfortunately, it's still early in the day, so they haven't gotten up yet. I get them up, but then I have a better idea: instead of trying to corner it (which probably won't work, since it could fly away), I decide to try to bride it instead. Now I'm holding a Toaster Strudel (wow, it's probably been a couple of decades since I've had one of those), but my wife quite firmly says that I shouldn't do that. I don't want it to go to waste, so I eat it, and it tastes really good. Now I'm back outside with the bird. I try to approach it even more slowly than my wife did, but it doesn't matter: it still backs away from me.

Standardized test
I'm with my parents, sitting at a table in a huge room, waiting to take the 9th grade end-of-year standardized test (even though I'm an adult). Earlier, I saw some of my other friends (including PS), though I don't see them now. I need the test results for something I'm applying for, though I think it's pretty silly. I'm fairly confident in my abilities - after all, I'm a college graduate, so 9th grade stuff should be easy - but what if there's something taught in 9th grade that I've forgotten because it's completely useless? As I'm waiting to be called back to the test, waiters come around to the tables. Some of them are carrying plates and silverware while others are carrying the food, some kind of shrimp/something/something combo. It actually looks pretty tasty, and I look forward to trying it.

I happen to turn around and am surprised to see that the entire room is empty except for us and the table in the corner next to us (the only table I can actually see without turning around). People start filing back in, and I realize I missed the call to use the bathroom before the test starts. I realize my bladder is already uncomfortably full, but it's too late now. I reason that, unlike these kids, I'm an adult, so I can deal with it!

I'm still in the large room, and I'm now looking at a form covering basic information. It asks me some questions about my environment, talks about requirements for getting things initialed, then says I need to initial my neighbor's form and get my own form initialed by my neighbor. I add an asterisk near the top of my page, then trade initials with a girl sitting next to me.

Now I'm in another room sitting at a long table and starting the real test. The first questions have to do with my "disobedience" in not going with the rest of the large group to the bathrooms. I try to defend myself by saying that I didn't see or hear anyone saying to go. One lady takes a hard line, but another defends me. Now I'm onto another section of the test. Each question has a whole list of possible answers, and I have to check any or all of them which I believe are correct. The first question asks about "Christians killed." The possible answers are all pretty bizarre; some are names, some are numbers. I ask a proctor for clarification but don't get anything useful. I end up choosing ones that sound right (I remember checking 170,000 among others). Now I'm onto some simple math questions, which I breeze through. I laugh at the question about calculating the CIT of an angle (dream-me thought that CIT was just another trig operation ...). After finishing all of the questions, I take a quick look over them, to make sure everything looks right, then turn it in.

Now I'm walking with a male proctor. We enter the aviation museum / base, walk past the gift shop, and go through a guarded door. The guard lets me pass without question since I'm with the proctor. Now I'm sitting down looking at the test results (my parents are there too). Each page of the test flashes up quickly on a screen, and it's hard to see what's right, what's wrong, and what my score is. As best as I can tell, I get the first two pages (basic questions and Christian deaths) wrong, but everything else is correct. At one point, a lady stops the presentation to go into detail about a page asking about a stone with a fish on top of it. Once it's all over, it displays my final score of 100%, which I find odd since I got at least two questions wrong. Oh well.


Space game
I'm playing a game (looks like Astroneer) in which I'm controlling a guy in a space suit running around on a barren planet. The gravity is very low, and he's able to jump a long way. Eventually, I come across a HUGE building. Getting closer, I can see that it's in extreme disrepair. It almost looks "shattered," and I expect that the slightest touch will probably bring the whole thing crashing down. Looking through some windows, I see what I believe is a glowing portal. I can probably use it to travel to another planet - if I can get to it without collapsing the whole place. Even if I can use it, it would probably destroy the building in the process, so it would be a one-way trip. Now three other people are near me, and we're talking about the game. I love games like this which have a shared, procedurally generated, semi-private persistent world. As we're talking about the almost-destroyed building, one of the players mentions that equipping a pair of <things> on my backpack and harvesting the terrain will occasionally fling me to a nearby planet. I don't like relying on randomness, but it seems to be my best option, so I decide to give it a shot.

Now I'm looking at a map of the solar system. The planet I'm on is colored white while unexplored planets are gray. White arrows point from my planet to others which are currently reachable. I start jumping around, going from planet to planet. I can't control where I go - I follow one of the arrows at random - but I hope that I'll be able to explore the whole system before too long, or to find a more reliable method of transport. I happen across a function which simulates where a space ship would take me - I can move around a straight line, and it highlights all the planets it's above - and I realize that there must be a way to build a spaceship (otherwise why would this function exist?).


Hoarder cleanup
I'm working outside my house. There are piles of old, broken stuff everywhere - it seems the previous owner was a hoarder. I've got other people working with me, and so far we've managed to pile things up well enough to make paths between the piles. We're working near a tall fence with a closed gate, and the lighting is poor.


Travel schedule
I'm trying to make a travel schedule for going to England. I think the trip will probably be nine days, since we'll probably be gone for two weekends plus the days in-between (it seems a shame to "waste" "free" vacation days over the weekend). As I think more about it, I realize that's probably not realistic; instead, we'll probably be flying out on a Saturday morning and returning the following Saturday evening so we have all day Sunday to recover before having to go back to work on Monday.


Controller configuration
I'm watching a couple of people flying characters over a kind of park area (trees overhead, walkways and fountains). One of them is using my Steam Controller, and he's complaining that I did a poor job setting it up for this game, since some of the controls aren't mapped. He ends up opening a gate by the expedient of sending his character ramming into it. Next to him, another guy is playing with a traditional controller. Supposedly he's doing better, but he's pushing buttons and moving hand positions faster than I can follow. The clicking of his controller buttons sounds like machine gun fire.


Dangerous swim
I'm moving through a place with many fairly narrow (20-30 feet) strips of water, then land, then water, then land. I've just started swimming through some water, and somehow I know there's a shark down below me. I hope that he stays deep and doesn't come up near the surface. As I look down, I see a red "x-ray" outline of a fisherman. At first, I think he must be in the next body of water, but I quickly realize the angle is wrong for that; he must be down under me somewhere. Now I'm on land, well past where I was before, and I approach a huge hole in the ground. I realize the fisherman is down there somewhere and start to look for a safe way down.


Fragments:
A mountain road

Mixed-up clothing

Bowl pastry
I'm having a large get-together at my house. People are milling around, talking. The food is ready, so I call everyone together, give thanks, then call on Jeff to tell us more about something. He grabs a red disposable paper bowl, which has baked puff pastry doming out the top, but then realizes he's holding it up-side-down. He flips it right-side-up, then explains that it's ready to eat: just cut into it and enjoy. He cuts it open, and it looks like the puff pastry is hollow. The bowl looks to be full of gravy, and something is floating in it. Looking more closely, it looks like pretzels. That looks really weird, but I'm willing to try it, since his wife is a wonderful cook. Someone else is more cautious and asks more questions about what it has in it and whether or not he should take a laxative before trying it out. I'm surprised by the question - the meal looks like it's already greasy enough ...


Inconsiderate truck
I'm driving my car. I'm at a light, waiting to go straight, when a large truck comes up beside me in the left-turn lane with its right blinker on. Other cars come up behind it, wanting to turn left, and are clearly not happy about the truck blocking their way. A couple cars go around it into lanes of oncoming traffic to make their left-hand turns; one car goes around the truck to the left, then cuts in front of all of us to turn right. Through all of this, the truck just sits there.

Now I'm driving next to a field, and I see something interesting. Now I'm driving around looking for a place to eat. I consider a burger place we've been to before, but someone else in the car has an objection to it.


Caravan communication
A group of people are spread out in a loose caravan. A guy on a bike stops at a diner for a break and gets a fax from a truck driver who's further up the road and has stopped in some kind of industrial area. Whatever's in the fax, he realizes it's important for the others in the caravan to know, so he immediately jumps back on his bike and tries to catch up with those ahead of him. Unfortunately, it's a mountain road, and he's having real difficulty.


Fragment: My son wants to wrestle, but we're in the middle of doing something else.

Bathroom wizard
A guy is in a bathroom. A second guy enters and places a "magical chain" around the door. Smoke fills the bathroom, and an image of a "creator wizard" appears. The first guy is a fighter, and he gets ready to defend himself. The second guy is a thinker, and he reassures his brother that he's just there to talk. The wizard reminds them that the spell will end if either of them is injured. The brothers start to argue between themselves about what to do.


Dog talk
Two dogs (we'll call them A and B) enter a pet store. Dog C greets them and informs them that "the master" says they need to feed the fish; it used to be C's job, but he has a new assignment now. C asks A if A remembers him, and A says he doesn't. C says that he fed A a few years ago when A's master was on vacation, and A still says he doesn't remember C. C goes into an in-depth description of his old disguise, and A recognizes him. C admits that he wanted so badly to escape that he actually put A into a shelter for a couple of nights, and he's glad the master never found it. Getting back to discussing the fish, C tells them there's no written schedule (then asks as an aside if A & B's master writes out schedules), but it's very important not to over- or under-feed the fish, since it'll kill them.


Maze
I'm wandering a maze-like place with someone else. We're looking for the guy who runs the maze. He keeps popping in and out, but we're never able to get to him. He's mastered both time and space, so the maze is nothing to him - in fact, he doesn't even realize it is a maze. We give up looking for him and try to find his assistant. We finally catch sight of him on a balcony, but it's going to be hard to get to him.


School clothing
It's school morning, and I'm helping out my wife by making sure that my kids find their outfits (and don't end up trying to wear each others' clothing). I'm in the entryway to the house, and two of my kids bring their clothes for inspection. I check over them, talking to the kids as I do so, and they look OK.


ESR's blog
I'm watching a video of ESR reading comments from his blog. He actually reads mine, so I'm pretty excited, especially since I've tried many times to get his attention but haven't ever managed before. However, I'm surprised by the name he reads off of my post, something like "NazraxWithLargeFamily." I can't believe I left out the bit about the beacons.


At church
I'm sitting in church in our usual spot. The service is starting, but none of our kids are here. AG starts to offer a prayer request, and our kids start to trickle in. Our pastor (who's standing in the back-left corner instead of centered as he should be) keeps telling them to walk down the side aisles instead of the center, but some of them forget and come down the center anyway. Bob B, sitting in front of me, turns around and asks me to repeat AG's request, since the kids distracted him; unfortunately, they distracted me too, so I don't remember much either, other than that it had something to do with sickness.

Now the wall at the front-right reveals itself to be two huge doors. They swing open and reveal a giant (wall-sized) landscape puzzle hanging behind a giant (wall-sized) grandfather clock. The clock starts to ring half-past, but it goes on a lot longer than I expect it to. The hammer starts to miss the bell and instead repeatedly hits the puzzle behind. After a few strikes, the puzzle falls apart.

Now the service is over and I'm talking to our pastor. I offer him suggestions, something about boom mics.


Fragments:
Noisy horse-men.

While driving along a road, I see something made from stone and know that it came from across the street; it's a parking lot now, but it used to be a quarry.

I'm walking in a large house.

Fragments:
I've finally finished laying out the tiles in my shower, and I'm smearing grout in the gaps between the tiles.

I grab my portable USB powerpack.

Hitman:Sniper
I have a first-person, top-down perspective of playing Hitman:Sniper in Zombie mode. I'm playing Expert, hoping to get more achievements. I find a trick that makes the zombies mill around instead of heading straight for Ben and use it to build up a huge crowd, then fire an explosive round at them. Unfortunately, my aim is terrible: I hit right at the edge of the crowd, so half the shot is wasted and only a few zombies go down. Now I'm protecting a second point and try the same trick, but again I only take down a small handful instead of the large crowd.

Now I'm standing at ground level preparing to defend a third spot. I get in an argument with an obstructionist sheriff, but I don't back down and eventually he gives in. A friend congratulates me on how well I handled him. I happen to look down at the ground and realize I'm just a few inches away from standing in a large ant hill and hurriedly move away, checking my leg to make sure that none of them got on me.

Now I'm back to a top-down perspective, looking down at the hallways in a school. Zombies are packed close together, trudging through the hallways, but my explosive shot hasn't recharged yet and I'm almost out of time. I decide to use an attractive shot to cause a traffic jam and prevent them from continuing forward, but it doesn't work right. Now they're spilling out from the hallway into a large garage and then outside. I finally manage to get the shot off, but only as the last few stragglers are exiting the garage. I can't believe what an opportunity I wasted. This should have been amazing, but instead it ended up being an incredible disappointment.

Now I'm walking around a house on some amazingly green grass. I know that my poor performance means I'm going to lose my wife and daughter; I curl up on steps leading up to a tree house and start to cry bitterly, waking myself up.


New game
I'm helping my wife order a puzzle game for the kids - something about "contraptions." Now I'm inside the game, walking along a corridor. I'm in some kind of tutorial area, and pictographs on the walls are trying to show me how to finish setup and run the initial benchmarks. I "click" the first one and get shown more detailed information, but I can't figure out how close it, since my mouse only has a single giant button. I realize the "button" is actually a cover and remove it, revealing the standard buttons. Now I'm talking with someone about how they're using early access and what the system requirements are. Now I'm watching a woman talking with a man. He captures her, but she manages to escape.


Fragments:
I'm watching a video describing the top disgusting animal encounters actors have had to put up with when making movies.

I'm getting changed to go swimming. Now I'm in the pool. The water is lower at one end than at the other; it's flat at both ends and slopes in the middle connecting the levels.

My wife is trying to get an electric company coupon for a friend for his birthday which should save him around $100. I'm amazed - how can someone use so much power that he needs to shave $100 off of his bill?

House hunting
I'm house-hunting with my family. We're walking around a nice single-story house, and I like it a lot. I'm looking around the property trying to figure out how our dog would do here. The back yard is completely fenced in, but the front yard isn't. I think that it may be possible to link the fencing with the house to create a fenced-in back yard; I really like the idea, since I can't trust him without a fence or a leash, and I'd love to be able to throw things for him to fetch (it's a large back yard). Now I notice that the front yard is actually fenced in all the way except for the driveway, and I think that maybe adding a gate to complete it wouldn't be a bad idea. Looking around more, I notice that every house in the neighborhood seems to be completely fenced in except for the driveways; unusual, but whatever. Now he walks up to me carrying something in his mouth; looking more closely, I see that it's a dirty bowl with some bits of sewing in it; I recognize it as my wife's stuff, so I call to her.

Group camping
It's night, and I'm walking around our group camp site. I see our group's leader by the fire circle working on getting a fire started. As soon as he gets it started, he stands up and declares that it's time for bed. I'm surprised - why build the fire if it's bed time? I walk up to him to ask him. Now I notice the restrooms are just behind him and I excuse myself. Now I'm in the bathroom and find a wet towel - weird. Now I'm back outside talking to him again. We talk some more about other things, including music. We look at something on our phones. Now I ask him about breakfast, saying that I really need it by 7AM. He laughs, saying that he's not even going to be awake by then, let alone have breakfast ready.

The warehouse
I'm in an empty warehouse - all I can see is bare concrete floor and walls. Looking up, I see that it's actually got a few stories above me, and I can see firemen spread out doing something (there's no fire that I can see). Their leader is near me, and he looks like Ghostbuster's Peter Venkman. Looking around more, I see items that weren't there before, and any time I focus on one I get a kind of floating pictorial bubble giving me more information about it. I discuss population with someone (I jotted that down in my overnight notes, but I have no idea what it means.)

Reindeer-men
I'm walking around in what I know to be a game. I'm in a residential neighborhood. All of the houses have large yellow and black signs outside. Each sign has the same list of possible content that can be found in a house, and lines which are applicable to a house are checked. The houses differ significantly in what they list, but they all seem to have "Reindeer" checked. Now I'm inside one of the houses. The light is very dim, and it's creepy. I walk around looking for reindeer. I don't see any, but I hear an occasional clip-clop from elsewhere in the house. As I'm walking through something like a living room, a reindeer-man comes around the corner. He's tall, wide, and very muscular, and he seems enraged. His eyes are wide and red, and he snarls as he walks towards me. I take a moment to gape at it, then turn to flee, only to find another one right behind me. I'm trapped! I punch the one blocking my escape, even as I know it's completely futile. He punches me and I go down.

Now I'm back outside walking through the neighborhood with my parents. My father asks if I can scroll the console back to the top - he says there was a message that looked interesting but it disappeared before he could properly read it. I try the traditional shift+page up, and it works. I can see the console text hovering in front of us, though part of it is hidden by the branches of a tree. He somehow zooms in on the text he's interested in, pulling it towards us and making it much easier to read. It says something about using "svn group" to preserve local changes. He has no idea what that means, so I explain that - if my guess is correct - the game automatically checks out the latest versions of files, so any local modifications will normally be overwritten, so if you want to modify anything and have it "stick" you have to block the auto-checkout with this command.

Post-apocalyptic corruption
I'm watching a group wandering through a post-apocalyptic city. Most of the buildings are burnt out, and there's large rubble everywhere. The leader of the group is telling the others how his own wife was corrupted: growing larger, skin turning gray, losing control of herself. It turns out that he's been infected as well and has been suppressing it, but he finally loses the battle and begins transforming, groaning that he can't hold it back any more. He gains size and muscle, but he gains an almost golden color. Now he's wearing loose white robes, and his muscular arms and 6-pack are clearly visible. He tells the group that they must declare allegiance: either to him, to his wife, or to "the twins." Now I see that there are four groups, and he's displeased, saying that there can only be three and that the groups must battle until one of them is destroyed. The smallest group turns to flee.

Strange shower
I'm taking a shower in a small bathroom. There's no shower stall - the water just pools on the floor. I start to splash around, enjoying myself, then stop because I don't want to disturb my wife. I also realize that there's only a very small lip under the door and I don't want to flood the hallway.

Running with John
I'm with John O and my second daughter in the lobby of a movie theater. Everything is very blue, and there are tables scattered around - it seems it doubles as a diner. My daughter hasn't seen a movie in a theater before and asks how it works. I explain that we have to wait around while the current movie plays, then go in and wait for the next one to start. Now we're sitting at one of the tables, eating while we wait.

Now John and I are crossing the parking lot. We're talking about "that weird taxi guy" who always hangs around the Atlanta airport. He does a great job and is worth seeking out, but sometimes you have to walk a long way to find where he's parked. Now we're walking along a sidewalk, and I realize that my daughter is missing. I turn to run back towards the theater, but John runs much faster than I. I yell after him to pace himself. He slows down, gets behind me, and starts pushing me. I end up running much more slowly than before since my balance is being thrown off. I ask him to stop pushing, so he passes me again. I'm able to regain my balance and speed back up. We're running downhill now, and I end up going really fast (though still slower than John).

Eating garlic
I'm driving home with my son. I realize I'm hungry and look around to see if there's anything to eat in the car. I see that the dashboard's cell phone holder has a garlic bulb sitting in it. As much as I'm not in the mood for raw garlic, I am really hungry, so I manage to peel off a few cloves and start trying to peel them one-handed (I'm still driving, after all). I hope I have a while before my wife gets home since I'm sure my breath will stink for a long time.

Now I'm pulling into the driveway and am surprised to see that stuff is scattered everywhere inside the garage and on the driveway. I park near the top and we head inside. She's not here, so I start hunting down some real food.

Fragment: A brilliantly white monument is standing in a grassy patch in the middle of the road.

VPN Presentation
I'm standing in front of a group of my coworkers preparing to give a presentation. My first Powerpoint slide is already on the screen. Before starting the presentation, I open with a brief prayer. My first slide covers why we should be using Linux. I describe how much Linux support has improved over the last few years, highlighting how easy it is now to use a presentation remote to switch slides. Now I've moved onto my main topic, how to use a dual VPN. I briefly discuss the benefits of a dual VPN solution then spend a few more minutes talking about security implications. On a new slide I show the results of running a few varieties of Rainbow Crack against both singe- and dual-VPN solutions. The dual solution is actually slightly weaker (averaging about 30%, with some algorithms as bad as 50% and others with almost no difference). Even so, the weaker security shouldn't actually make a difference in normal day-to-day workloads.

Now I'm answering questions from my coworkers. One of them starts rolling around on the ground in a strange attempt to demonstrate how a particular crypto algorithm works; when everyone stares at him dumbfounded, he just returns to his seat, but a few minutes later he jumps up saying that he's solved the problem.

Camp fire
I'm camping with my family, and we're working on building a fire. One of my kids has a long branch and breaks it up so it can go in my to-be-burned pile. My other kids like the idea and work on finding stuff they can break up to add in. The car is still half full of stuff (though I'm not sure if we're loading or unloading.)

Pizza delivery
I'm watching a video about pizza delivery guys and a strange sickness that they've started suffering from. It seems that, in order to give customers a reassuring sense of "sameness," all pizza delivery guys wear the same exact human-looking mask. Now the video is showing clips of some of the delivery guys pulling their masks off and looking pretty bad: they're panting, wiping sweat off of their pale faces, and just generally looking sick. Now it's showing two of them standing next to each other. They've got the same face and are wearing the same clothes, but their heights are very different. One of the guys tells the cameraman that his friend has to do this delivery because he customers will see though the "you always get the same guy" ploy if anyone else goes. Now I'm watching one of them driving to a delivery, snacking on the pizza he's supposed to be delivering.

Fragment: I'm with my family among some bare trees.

A bunch of short dreams
My son wants me to read him the next chapter in a book. He says that my wife told him that he could only read the first twelve pages. I realize I must have heard him wrong and that my wife (who's currently downstairs) wants to hear me read too. Now I'm downstairs, and I see her taking out her knitting needles.

I'm walking around in an airport. Off to my right, I see a guard in the process of closing a HUGE door. It's about five feet wide, but it's probably fifty feet tall. He gets it closed and I see that it looks like a bank vault door, with lots of stainless steel pistons and wheels. I don't understand why such a door would be in an airport, but whatever. As I think more about it, I realize that the airport must be on lockdown and I won't be able to leave. I hope it doesn't last long; I just want to get home. Now I'm walking around in the parking deck.

I'm in a room with my son. Both of us are getting dressed to go to the beach. Now we're ready and with some other people, and I see that we have a bag of stuff that needs to go with us. Someone suggests putting the straps of the bag through my swim shorts' belt loops, but that sounds like a really bad idea: I'm not wearing a belt, and I don't want the weight of the bag pulling my shorts down.

I'm at my computer looking at the current Steam sale. I'm amused that there's another one, since the Christmas sale only just ended. I'd been hoping that some of my friends would pick up a copy of Portal for their family, but they missed out. I search for Portal, to see if it's back down to Christmas-sale levels, and am surprised that the search comes back with no hits. That's really weird. I try searching for Trine, and this time I get only a single hit on some Trine-related DLC but not on any of the Trines themselves. Weird ... Anyway, the DLC is cheap, so I decide to get it. Looking over its reviews, people are doing the usual rant about how much they hate paid DLC. I hesitate, hoping that I'm not wasting my money getting DLC for a game I don't actually own.


Fragments:
I recommend that someone use the IBM Single-Sign-On ID everywhere he can so that it's easier for him to download things and to "muddle his profile"?

My wife asks me for advice for something about which I know nothing.

I'm camping IRL.
Bed @ 2125

Redwall
An otter babe (Redwall) meets his father for the first time and decides that he's not worth knowing. Other creatures also council his mother that she should stay away from the father. Later, I'm watching vermin trying to prepare what looks like a fancy meal as part of some scam to trick honest creatures. One of them is listing off various things they'll need, including a wine with a good mouth-feel. One of them gets roped into pretending to be the somolier - it seems he accidentally had some good wine in the past, so now he's considered to be the wine expert.

Mythbusters
I'm watching Mythbusters. They're having some kind of competition against some special forces people. The competitions are one-on-one, one Mythbuster against one special forces guy. They have to compete in three areas, and the winner forfeits his win if he gloats. Grant actually manages to beat his opponent, but he's disqualified because his shout of "NOW!" had too much triumph in it.

Now they're talking to someone who was injured when he couldn't get away from a propeller.

Now Jamie is talking with a "rural" guy about the results of the competition. Now they're racing some very strange contraptions. Jamie's is somehow built around an upright piano, and as he tries to go faster he ends up knocking the piano over.


Puzzle museum
I see a museum that's full of stuff which the residents of the town have been collecting for many years. Unfortunately, some people have become fed up with it and have started vandalizing it. Now I'm looking at some beautiful framed puzzles. Some of them are photographic, while others are more abstract, but I really like all of them. Unfortunately, none of them are finished, and many have large areas which are missing pieces. Somehow I find the bags of pieces and start trying to finish the puzzles. I'm quickly able to fit in large sections which had been separately put together but never added to the final puzzle. Now I'm looking at a puzzle showing all of the Disney princesses. I notice that there should be a recurring villain, but all her pieces are missing. I hunt through my bag of pieces, find her, and put her in place. Now I'm looking at a number of puzzles side-by-side and marvel at how well their color schemes match.

Old radio show
I'm watching events playing out as narrated by an old radio show. There's some kind of slapstick chase going on, but it's dragging out much longer than a modern show would, and they have to break it in the middle to go to commercials. Now they're recording a new show. I see a German boxing instructor, and I hear him speaking German, but quietly; the English narrator is telling us what the instructor is saying. Now there's a German in the streets waving his arms and generally making a scene, forcing cars to slow and go around him, as he loudly declares that Brits are weak and can't sing. Now he's singing, and he sounds horrible.

Meeting Markiplier
I'm eating somewhere at Georgia Tech. Looking up, I realize I'm sitting directly across from Markiplier. I work up my courage enough to tell him how much I'm enjoying his Subnautica videos, tell him never to apologize for "geeking out" about how amazing exploration in a game is. I ask how many more videos in the series he's planning to make, and he says that he's done for now. There are too many things he needs to get that haven't been implemented (particularly screws), so he's going to wait a few months before getting back to it. He also makes mention of that "crazy Nazrax guy" who keeps asking for "that ice thing." I laugh and give him a playful shoulder punch, saying that I'm Nazrax, I have no idea what ice he's talking about, but he really really needs to build himself some beacons. He says something noncommital. I ask if he really reads all the comments on his videos, and he says he reads most of them.

Now I'm somewhere else and I run into him again. He's printing out some kind of daily itinerary / status report, and I see that it says he's 79% done with his daily tasks. Now I'm making a bunch of comments on a video. I realize that I really should have threaded them and manage to drag and drop them into a proper order.

Bed @ 2245
Woke @ 0530 /w alarm

Electric guitar
I'm watching a group of musicians. One of them has just switched over to an electric guitar and is trying to figure out how to make it work. He's strumming the strings, but they're very rubbery and hardly make any sound at all. Someone points out that his guitar isn't actually plugged into a speaker, and they start looking around for the right cable. Now it's plugged in, and he's trying again, but it's still not making the right sound. He tries strumming, he tries plucking, he tries picking, but nothing is working right.

Fragment: Something outside a house.

Bed @ 2225
Woke @ 0140

Math
I'm helping both my son and daughter with some math. It was supposed to be simple, but I've now covered the whiteboard in long multiplication and/or division. My flow has split into two, some going right, another going up and to the right - just for my daughter. I haven't even started on my son's problem. I'm trying to demonstrate something about something they're doing, showing them that life isn't as simple as they'd like it to be. I ask for a prediction about the next step, and only my son gets it right. My daughter does something wrong and comes out with an answer that's double what it should be.

WBTB. BTB @ 0155
Woke @ 0330; lost recall
BTB @ 0350
Woke @ 0600

Caravanning home
I'm driving on 120 behind a some other cars; we're all headed for my house. Just as the car in front of me goes through a light, it turns yellow. Normally I'd stop, but since I'm trying to stay with them I gun the engine and make it through before it turns red. Now I "don't trust one car" (I wrote it in my DJ, but I have no idea what that means ...). It tries to run, and a couple of the cars in my caravan try to chase it down to cut it off. It turns down a driveway. One of the cars in my group follows while the other pulls in sideways to block off the driveway and stop it from coming back out. I realize they've turned into the Brothers' driveway and know that there's nowhere to go. Now we're all parked in the driveway. The driver is somehow injured and is complaining loudly, but he's being held by a couple of large Brothers; I know they're more than capable to see to his injuries while keeping hold of him.

Now we're all in our cars, turning left out of the driveway. I realize that I should have been in the lead, but it's too late now. I manage to pull into the middle of the line so at least I'm not at the back. I see my 6yo daughter driving the car next to me, but I don't think anything of it. Looking left and right, I'm having trouble seeing around her car, so I can't see if it's safe to go. I'm pretty sure nothing's coming, so I make the turn as quickly as I can. Now I'm driving along, and a HUGE oncoming truck (with two trailers) swerves into my lane, hits the guard rail, and comes to a stop. There's a strange "sidecar" hanging out of the side of the cab, and the guy in it starts shouting up to the driver. I slow down and somehow slolom between the trailers.

Now I'm home. I talk to Mom, then someone comes in with a large bag with coins spilling out of it. Now I'm serving up some soup. We didn't have many cans left, so everyone only gets a half bowl, but they all ate earlier so I hope it'll be enough. Now I'm talking to someone about the symbolism of the characters in Firefly - especially in the episode where everyone's inside Odo's mind. River represents compassion; <someone> is reasoning; Jayne is strength. An enemy is killing them one-by-one. I think that the episode took a turn for the worse once other members of the DS9 crew showed up - mixing shows like that is just weird.

Now we're playing a board game which has "students" and "trainers." Students become trainers by rolling dice until they get a certain value; trainers can be downgraded to students if they get hit with "sprainers." I really don't like games which don't let you move at all until you hit a certain magical value. I've never played this game before, and I don't know if I will again.