non-lucid

It started with a normal dream of going to work, me and me dad and his friend got off of a train, it was some kind of futuristic train station, we were going to work
Then went downstairs where the stairs were empty at times
But I was always lucid somewhat
When we got down there things were different it was like a scene from my old school life blended in
That's when I started to dig down into my negative feelings, mostly of how I didn't get a girlfriend in school in high school etc. I started to hear and see alternate stories of the same things, I became my alternate selves, re living their bitterness, or that was my dream memories, and just got deeper and deeper until I accepted death wholly or something similar to that
And then I was at home , or at least at some kind of level, with no hope and kind of consumed by hopelessness, I went out and the sky was covered in storm clouds, like multiple thick layers of cumulo nimbi only lighted by a light source high up in the sky, it was like a painting, it was beautiful,
Then I was ready, for the unknown, usually I don't engage with scenes like that in a dream or so that's what I thought, but this time I didn't give a damn
I knew there was something there, the place represented my mind my whole being I think I'm not sure,

So then I said hello? Come on take me. My voice was weak but it echoed everywhere.
And as I embraced the sky I rose up into the sky and started spinning slowly , and my whole body was overcome with this feeling of healing and comfort, and I heard an upbeat kind of ambient music and I started to have some kind of monologue about the death of the suffering, and how I set it off and someone named mark
The sky cleaned up and it was a warm blue sky and I floated there, marinating in healing energy
And then I heard my mom's voice, but it wasn't real because she is still sleeping

side note: my feet need cold water, they heat up a lot and causes me to wake up, but some cold water calms my nerves down like nothing else in the world and then I sleep like a baby

Idk if I even dreamt it , or maybe it was a nap dream??
but anyways, I think I dreamt of one of those language demonstrating youtube videos
all I remember is that the word for "what" was "aš" and I tought to myself "how strange"
and left the video

I have a very mildly recurring type of dreams
its always about a train trip to somewhere
the first ones were ok, nothing really unusual
I saw some plains, steppes, it was nice

This time it was different
I was going to Vienna for some reason, some kind of event idk
but I didnt book at any hotel , so I thought I'll have to survive on the streets for like few days
anyways I got on
it turned into something like a rollercoaster but with trains
there were jumps and hoops sometimes
one particular case I remember was that the train went under a bridge
made a jump the an ollie, the whole train was gliding on the tracks sideways
then went back to normal
I was really scared for a moment
the train conductor didnt even flinch, like if that's a normal part of a train trip

I was hurrying somewhere by the road into the city centre, its a long one
I wanted to get to something, i dont know what
the weather was already but, but it quickly got worse
a big storm came, things turned night time dark, rain started getting heavy
but for some reason, I kept going
into the dark, and rain

I was in a valley that had huge platforms and the Chinese army was coming monthly to ritually transfer raw materials to the people there(edited)
And I was able to fly kinda
On the way there at night some **** kept annoying me so I tied her up and threw her down a mountain and she rolled into a giant oven to which the entrance was a large platform of almost melting hot steel and she burned alive in that(edited)
I kinda felt guilty and condemned because I already killed a few innocent people in my dreams
Then I saw the transfer ritual , a bunch of people and trucks on top of eachother just circling in a weird way and I only heard loud scratching noise of iron or something rusty idk
After that I was babysitting a little girl who was kinda sweet , really interested in the world, and we and some people went to a Berber village , and I had a slingshot thing that made getting to rooftops easy, and I was in an assassin robe for some reason, hood and all
I was kinda relieved when I woke up and realize that I didn't kill anyone

I was going home from the cellar again, when small vortices formed, I panicked and ran further down the hill.
The city was quite different now. There were very tall trees covering the sky , but a tornado formed there too...
I don't remember the rest

I was floating around , like a camera, it was as if I'm in a documentary, or watching one.
It's the middle of the desert late at night, I hear Sebiba chants. People meet in the middle of the desert to do blues\ishumar music, tuaregs and people from all over the world, lots of guitars....

My dream recall's been getting better ..this morning I remembered 2 dreams , ones from my first sleep, then the second one that was after I fell back asleep...
First dream was about a show that documents weird, eccentric people, I was in the show as interviewer... the guy I was interviewing was a cyborg I think, he looked like he's in his 30's ,living in an attic
asked him ,whats weird about him
-if I told you , you wouldn't believe it.
-but what is it ?
-I live as 3 age groups at the same time

Then a supposed grandpa enters
"hello grandpa"
he looks just like him , the same cyborg features around the eyes , the same face structure... I was like wtf
we tried to talk to him too, but he was way too eccentric... He had hand prosthetics that broke easely, and he broke them right infront of us just for the sake of it...then went into another room to fix his hands..
I said " dude should get plastic hands, or something more durable"
to this he dashed out and said " did you just intentionally kill yourself?" as if suggesting to him to get more durable hands was a deadly mistake...
he walked towards me , and I was like " OK NO NO SORRY I DIDNT MEAN TO " then he threw a plastic shelf at me or something and went back in ...


Second dream was about tornadoes
A "hurricane" was approaching the suburbs I was living in
I don't remember much
but when it was arrived , it was an amazing sight, I had a vivid vision, no better way to describe this ,I seen it in 4k , as tornadoes where whirling around the mesocyclone right above me but somehow didnt hit me
I ran into a restaurant, hide under the counter ,then it came, one tornado struck the place I was in , things, and people were flying around, but it looks like the crew survived, then I continued running towards my home...

I dreamt that after a heavy rain, a lot of water was flowing down the hill, among the streets.
I didnt pay much mind to it, I went to the shop. Then encountered a big fckoff COBRA, but it wasnt any kind of cobra , it was FLYING all over the place. Its morphology was unique:Its lower half was of a light colour , cant tell which, the top, was vibrant red, with the hood stretching all over it's body, acting as a wing to catch wing, while doing this swirly motion mid air , supposedly to maneuver itself. I got really scared, it somehow flew up and charged me , I fell on the ground and covered my face, but nothing happened, it just went away. I ran home like mad while seeing a bunch of these things flying around, told mom, closed windows ,door , I was panicking like mad, then started to see reptillians even, flooding the street , and maybe even lions?
Someone told me that this event will die off once all the water flows down from the mountains... Nobody was worrying that much about it..but I was furious

note: there's been a time when I often dreamt of being middle school, which was really bad because it was a really traumatic part of my life. But with time, I had those dreams less and less, sometimes I still do have em rarely. This time was different

I was again back at middle school as an adult, and the whole class was made of adults(pretty strange). The interior of the building was much larger, instead of 3 floors, there was like 15. Going downstairs was really tiring.
All I remember, is that now I knew I can play the other way, this girl who bullied me often tried to start some shit... and so I kept coming back at her, hassling her to the point she wanted to kick me , but she kicked into the table by me instead, hurting her leg, she was seething from anger. I went downstairs left the building.
Then I got into a fight with some guy because he was playing tough guy , and I stepped on the grass infront of the school...

I dreamt about going through a desert trying to catch up with a friend, fighting weird monsters on the way...
...then I was on a bus full of weird people and alcoholics...I met a friend there ,but I was distracted by this naked man who had random patches of wet white fur on his body, I didnt see his private parts, but he may not have had them at all...

Dreamt that I talked to an old friend, like if we were friends again. I was suprised that they messaged me on discord all of a sudden, but we had a good time on catching up on eachother...we dug the battle axe. And everything was alright.

So I was in one of these pubs\taverns where alcoholists go usually... my friend was there and I told him to get out of there cuz its a toxic place , but he insisted on staying and drinking more
then some alcoholic said something to me ,interfering
and thats when I had enough...why even hide my thoughts from anyone, I should say what I think.... I hate all these people ,all useless recluses ..
I told him to fuck off , then everyone else started to look at me , and then I was like yeah actually All of you can fuck off
and flipped the finger at everyone , everyone erupted , and then I left the place.
I thought I'd be attacked but nothing happened...

I dreamt that I moved into this big mansion , multi leveled house, with questionable (satanist) exterior design...
And I shared this house with another family too, they were kind and friendly, but I had my own part of the house they had theirs and we shared a living room I think?
Since I felt like I should have some intimate spaces only I can access, I opened these little rifts into empty space on top of this big house, there was no roof, I just reached into empty space and made a room or two
later in one of my rooms I found some old drawings from around 2015 when I found out about this anime\manga I used to watch
and I remembered them ,and I found it cringy that I did draw these fanfic things in the dreams I had around that time , and the nostalgia was so real ,and so vivid
apparently I used to draw a lot in dreams since I was a natural in dreams
and these stuff remained, even the memory of it, I can only access them when I dream
Like old items, but they only exist in a dream
but somehow they remained...
in my head

It was kinda baffling to encounter something I did years ago in a dream....and remember it ...in a dream...

I was looking for this girl...but I didn't know where to look for her.
then at a point , in the dream I was in this village that for some reason felt a bit like those dangerous neighborhoods, and also knew that she lives there
at a point someone told me that she goes to this psychologist who conducts crazy experiments with her on some rooftop in a warehouse
me and and some other guy from the village went around ,we didn't know what to do, but then we looked up the places in the village on google , and there was a private detective office
we went there , and the guys spoke a scandinavian language, which I could mostly understand somehow... We asked whats the address of the psychologist and they quickly found it on the internet ,gave us name , number ,and address too ... So we paid them and went on our way to find out what the hell is going on there.
We stumbled upon an abandoned looking warehouse, there wasn't really a roof ,it was open to the air , there was a ramp there instead that controlled two panels that seemed to be the roof
we went up there and we found nothing.... I thought there's no session ,or this place is a fake address....but then I saw a control panel on the ramp ,and pressed it .
The roofs moved and there were perforations in it, little protrusions or holes on which you can climb up or down. And the two halves of the supposed "roof" could be moved in different ways ,but it was really dangerous , if you were to let go of it , you would've fallen into the lower floor of the warehouse. There were only two stages that you could land on if you jumped ...
And then it clicked, this is the experiment, the psychologist uses this to challenge the patients in physical challenges and place them in danger in order to harden their mind in critical situations...I could see in some kind of vision that sometimes they even threw off bombs into the deep and watch them explode in the air .
Then somehow I found myself on the wall, some cartoon characters appeared and fired bombs on me to get me off the wall... I somehow managed to evade most of them and get back on the ramp on the top..
And then we booked it . I was planning to observe the place from somewhere else ,or come back when they are there .... but then I woke up.