I'm not sure exactly what I believe in anymore.
I had a deep religious conversation with my son yesterday, so intellectually, I believe in the Bible and in (more specifically) the teaching of Jehovah's Witnesses.
But purely on a spiritual/emotional (?) level, I'm drawn to different paths.
Such beliefs cannot co-exist within me. I've tried for years.
So, to discover more about myself, I want to go on a Vision Quest (which I also think of as "Spirit" Quest so forgive me if I slip and use both terms without thinking lol).
But I really don't know what that entails. How is it different from camping or some other such activity? Is it the fasting?
I'm always by myself as it is. My kids make appearances throughout the day and I have to communicate with others on a daily basis, but that's for their sake, not mine.
I have no problem with solitude.
But I do bore easily. I've not been "alone" with my thoughts in an extremely long time. There are other distractions- namely, Hulu and video games. But I'll crochet or read books etc in favor of stillness. I don't like being completely idle. I don't meditate. I don't even pray anymore.
What can I except? What do I do? Is the time I spend alone meant to be idle time? I've read confusing/conflicting info about that. Some say you're suppose to walk (pretty much) all day because you're also suppose to push yourself to your limits.
I'm not worried about shelter or food. I'll venture out with nothing except my cellphone (for emergencies IF I can find reception) a first aid kit, a hatchet and water.
I'm going to try to be gone for 2 days. How much water should I bring?
Do I make a camp?
I'm planning on going to the woods around my hubby's "farm". He alone has 83 acres of mostly thick woods, some cliffs, caves a stream (which is usually dry). But his acres is just the tiny portion of the connecting wilderness.
Bears are rare as are mountain lions but wild dogs could be a problem. I've walked those woods in the past and I've never been aware of any dangerous animals however. But I've never been in the woods at night.
In truth, I'll find a tree to sleep in 
Another thing: I will be utterly alone. My husband would NOT support such a venture. I literally have NO friends. There will be NO safety net for me.
I cannot afford to hire a guide.
But, as I already said, I am somewhat familiar with those woods. And for my first time out, I don't think I'll venture very far.
As for my health:
I have a sleeping disorder. I either have un-diagnosed Narcolepsy or my Sleep Apnea/Restless Leg Syndrome has gotten worse to the point I am always sleep deprived. I could sleep all day without Caffeine (and now Nuvigil). If I'm uncomfortable or majorly anxious, I fall asleep.
I take anti-anxiety meds (Celexa and Wellbutrin) but I can easily go without them for several days (as is the case right now because I've not had the money to pick up a new script). I also take supplements (D3, B-50 Complex, Calcium, Cranberry, Green Tea, Potassium). But, again, I can go without those if I must.
And if fasting is part of the Vision Quest, then it is a must because taking meds on an empty stomach makes me very ill.
I'm out of shape physically, but I can still hike and climb trees I'll just be really sore afterward lol.
My blood pressure is fine but my pulse is often outrageous (often 90 while resting). I have no heart problems that I'm aware of though.
No problems with sugar, though I have a tendency toward hypoglycemia.
I was wanting to take a psychodelic (sp) while on my quest, but I realize it's too unwise. Especially seeing how I've never taken one before and it will be my first time alone in the woods and I have no safety net.
Any advice, links, general information? Anything people can share with me would be MOST appreciated!!!
**FEEL FREE to move this to a more appropriate area. I was unsure of where to put it. This quest is mostly one of reflection, self-reliance, cleansing (from tobacco, caffeine) and self-discovery.**
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