Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Thanks Dianeva. I was, for the most part, a very good kid. When I wasn't good, I was sneaky so I wouldn't cause any conflict at home. I do not understand blatant- in your face- disrespect. My parents would have beaten me senseless if I spoke to them as he speaks to me.

I call my home a trailer but it's actually a large Modular Home. My room is at one end and Myles' room is at the far other end. With my permission, he laid claim to the three bedrooms back there (and the 1 1/2 non-functional bathrooms). The entire area is boarded up except the half bath which is almost at the center of the house near the door to outside. In other words, it's a pain in the ass to actually go back there. We shout to relay messages because my oldest boy stays in the living room which is near the door to the half-bath.
Myles never bothered to tell his brother he was eating. If he had, we never would have had a problem (unless he continued to ignore me for no reason afterward).

He woke up this afternoon and told me he was moving out in 2 month when he turns 18. I told him I wont be able to stop him but the choice would be unwise. He needs to finish school. Then he says he'll just end up dead in a ditch somewhere within a couple weeks of leaving.
Talking to that boy is like talking to a wall. I tried asking him what he had to lose if he thinks he'll be dead so soon.

So, that continues to be my rant.
That and I'm back to sleeping on the door because Meesha pissed on my deflated air mattress. I have no water hose, so I've been waiting on the rain but it didn't come today lol (we were *supposed* to have thunder storms).
Oh well. I got 2 loads of laundry done. I washed both my afghans and laid them on the door to cushion it some. And I set the door on top of the crummy mattress which somehow also seems to help.
Maybe the rain will come tomorrow...

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

He woke up this afternoon and told me he was moving out in 2 month when he turns 18. I told him I wont be able to stop him but the choice would be unwise. He needs to finish school. Then he says he'll just end up dead in a ditch somewhere within a couple weeks of leaving.
Talking to that boy is like talking to a wall. I tried asking him what he had to lose if he thinks he'll be dead so soon.

I'm no psychologist - but it SOUNDS like he wants you to establish boundaries and limitations for him - to be more of a parent and less of a friend. Kids - especially teenagers - rebel against limitations, but down inside they know they need it and if they aren't given proper boundaries by their parents or guardians, I think they act out in basically a big cry for help.

tried going for a bike ride... but the trail was ridiculous. i went on it before, and it was pretty damp and swampy in some places, but other parts were nice and overall it was good. today i went a bit later (like 7:30pm), and i was pelted by bugs. i kept feeling them hit my face, and when i looked down my arms were COVERED in tiny black bugs. so after only a bit over one mile I turned around.

on the way back, i was keeping my head low to avoid eating any more bugs. plus i was peddling quickly because i wanted to get the fuck out of there. so i didn't see the bridge coming up in time. it was just a small wooden bridge over a dried up creek. but this path hasn't been maintained great. the bride stuck up above the path, and the wood planks were splintering and jagged. to the one corner, the path and bring were the same level, so i quickly swerved over. but that section of the bridge was missing a plank... lost control of the bike and i ended up falling off of the opposite side of the bridge, landing on my back. luckily i landed pretty close to the top of the creek, so it wasn't too big of a fall.

i'm in NY by the finger lakes for a few days. real nice area, but very few nearby trails. the ones that are within 45 minutes aren't maintained well at all. kinda sucks... i was hoping for some great biking up here. oh well.

Decided to Google it and discovered that my cold sore isn't actually a cold sore. It's a canker sore. Whatever it still hurts

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

I'm no psychologist - but it SOUNDS like he wants you to establish boundaries and limitations for him - to be more of a parent and less of a friend. Kids - especially teenagers - rebel against limitations, but down inside they know they need it and if they aren't given proper boundaries by their parents or guardians, I think they act out in basically a big cry for help.

Double plus this.

Originally Posted by Singularity125

My rant for today is that the "real world" and dream recall seem to be incompatible. I was browsing here last night and got all excited again about the possibility of lucid dreaming -- fully intentional, because I have had nights where the enthusiasm made the difference. But a combination of being out of practice, and a random call before 8 AM kept me from remembering almost anything. I dimly recall that I had a dream about looking for work (kinda sad, really...) and I'm pretty sure my older brother was there... but that's literally all I remember. Guess I'm back at square one. =/

This is often overlooked when attempting to LD. We need to collectively figure out the best way to practice without "real life" interfering.
Even just having a regular sleep schedule seems to impede progress somewhat, coz you have to get up straight away instead of thinking about dreams .

Originally Posted by littlezoe

The following rant won't make much sense to people who don't have the type of OCD that they need the order in things... but what the hell i need to let this out :S

So, yesterday i updated my iPhone to the latest firmware (5.1.1) and it's fun and all, BUT: Now i installed SBSettings, which is a little tweak that adds some buttons into the notification center for easier use.

Now the only problem with this is that for some reason the icons are not in the center, no matter what i do, even if i change the theme, they stay a little off, here is a picture:

Just looking at that frustrates the hell out of me.

Weather Rant:

The weather was really chilly yesterday and I was freezing when I was walking in an air-conditioned shopping mall. I was just getting used to the average heat of 33 degree Celsius but the chilliness yesterday broke it off.

So great. Amazing temperature I have now.



Feels like 38 degree Celsius. @_@

Another Rant:

Stomachache yesterday after the really spicy curry. Maybe I should stop eating anything spicy for a week?

Sefalik. I'm glad it didn't end up any worse! I'm very glad you're okay.

Looking at the phone pic doesn't bother me. Central would be perfect but at least the unevenness is left to right. Having it in the other direction would drive me mad. (We read from left to right so it's not a big shock to my sensitivities )

I agree about my son. The double whammy is I'm sure he has Aspergers. He's non-compliant with testing though. If he doesn't understand something or if it's unimportant to him, watch out. He, as well as my inability to control my temper once it starts raging, is the reason I stopped disciplining my kids. I literally beat that boy once because he would NOT (could not?) stop arguing with me.
It amazes me how absolutely fond I am of that boy yet how bonkers he drives me at the same time. He's my son, so I naturally love him. But I'm also genuinely fond of him. He doesn't see it, but I think he's highly creative and imaginative. He can figure out almost anything if he's left with it long enough (construction, puzzles, that sort of thing). He has a learning disability so he doesn't do well with reading instructions, but if you tell him and show him, he picks it up very quickly. He has an amazing memory.

But when I tell him all of that, I'm being "condescending". He has ridiculously low self-esteem.

I saw fresh slashes on his wrist this afternoon. I didn't make a big deal out of it but told him to clean it because it looked on the verge of being infected. He told me to shut up and mind my own business. But he said it with a smile. I shrugged and told him if he didn't want me to know and nag him, he needed to wear a long-sleeved shirt "Mr. Emo McEmo pants" (a stupid family thing we do.) He called me Ms.Nags-to-much but came back for the peroxide.

I was there. Hell, some days I'm STILL there, feeling the need to self-injure (but I haven't in months now). I know how pointless it is to tell someone to stop; how ultimatums don't work; how drama tends to make the compulsion worse.
But sometimes I'd swear they want that drama. I don't see myself as "Cold" by any means. I can be distant but not cold.
:shrug:

That's my rant.
Another rant is FRUIT FLIES. Grrrrrrr!!!!! I forgot about a bag of bananas I took to my room on Sunday. I covered them with clothes and thankfully found them before they went bad (I bought them very green). But it was enough to summon hordes of the dreaded fruit flies. I truly hate those things. I ate one of those bananas and a container of Key Line Yogurt Whips earlier and thought I would have to go to war with the bugs. I don't think I had ever eaten anything that quickly in all my life lol.

I've been in another cleaning mood again tonight which is a great thing. I hammers and chiseled 4 holes into my wall to hide an extremely long extension cord I use for my computer stuff. It's been dangling forever and hung above the doorway to the bathroom. Now it's nicely tucked away out of site.
One good thing about living in a run down home is that you can pretty much jerry-rig anything you like without any fear of making things worse

Oh man - well if he has Asperger's then forget my armchair diagnosis! Wow, it must be damn near impossible to take care of a child with Asperger's! Would definitely drive me nuts!! The poor guy.

A dear friend of me has asperger's, it's not too bad!

Yeah, come to think of it, there are different types and some are not too bad.

I am awake at 7:00AM... And can't fall back asleep. I think this is a first for me. It's actually pretty scary.

@ iw:

A mosquito bit my lip during the night -.-"

Originally Posted by littlezoe

A mosquito bit my lip during the night -.-"

You got kissed by a mosquito and you're complaining?

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

I agree about my son. The double whammy is I'm sure he has Aspergers. He's non-compliant with testing though. If he doesn't understand something or if it's unimportant to him, watch out. He, as well as my inability to control my temper once it starts raging, is the reason I stopped disciplining my kids. I literally beat that boy once because he would NOT (could not?) stop arguing with me.
It amazes me how absolutely fond I am of that boy yet how bonkers he drives me at the same time. He's my son, so I naturally love him. But I'm also genuinely fond of him. He doesn't see it, but I think he's highly creative and imaginative. He can figure out almost anything if he's left with it long enough (construction, puzzles, that sort of thing). He has a learning disability so he doesn't do well with reading instructions, but if you tell him and show him, he picks it up very quickly. He has an amazing memory.

But when I tell him all of that, I'm being "condescending". He has ridiculously low self-esteem.

That's too bad... I hope you can get through to him somehow.

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

Oh man - well if he has Asperger's then forget my armchair diagnosis! Wow, it must be damn near impossible to take care of a child with Asperger's! Would definitely drive me nuts!! The poor guy.

Heck, I have it myself and according to my parents I was one of the easiest ones to take care of. Always sitting by my lonesome, playing video games or reading... But yeah, you realized that already, so I wholeheartedly agree with:

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

Yeah, come to think of it, there are different types and some are not too bad.

I just hope that you figure something out, Zhaylin.

Originally Posted by Chicken

You got kissed by a mosquito and you're complaining?

They are not exactly my ideal

Originally Posted by littlezoe

They are not exactly my ideal

And they give you a little bump on your lips after the kiss.

Originally Posted by Carrot

And they give you a little bump on your lips after the kiss.

Yeah.. that's what bothers me the most

I feel so awful right now.

We have this bay window in our kitchen, but the windows are taped against the frame to not come out because our landlord never came to fix them. I put cardboards up too and taped them. I thought it was well covered for the time being.

Apparently not. My tired/stupid ass stayed up late last night and I dozed off on the couch around noon. My son was up and I guess he pulled off the tape and cardboard and he escaped! I didn't hear a fucking thing. I was asleep for an entire hour and I have no idea how much of that he was outside. I woke up to someone knocking at the door. I noticed the cardboard in the kitchen and immediately my heart started racing. I barely even talked to the girl at the door and went and grabbed my son from my neighbor.

I'm so ashamed. I don't know. If ANYTHING had happened to him, I seriously would have killed myself. I feel like the worst mother in the world, and I probably am. I'm just so thankful he's okay at the same time, but I can't stop thinking about what could've happened to him.

I really am not looking forward to telling his father about this.

EDIT: The girl who came to tell me was someone I worked with a couple years ago. I thanked her again on FB and she and her dad came by to take a look at the window. Apparently it was an easy fix. They helped me out and I am so thankful to them. He's a real nice guy for coming and fixing the window for me. Now I can rest a bit easier, but never again will I sleep while my son is awake. It will NEVER happen again. I've learned my lesson. I don't care how tired I am or how safe I think the house is...

In 2007 I sold my XBOX360 because I was playing The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion too much. Over the past five years, I haven't done much gaming unless it was at a friends. The only systems I own are old school Nintendo's and I don't even bust them out. Now, I feel the urge to get a PS3 and Skyrim because even though I am active, I have some downtime after work and on the weekends. Anyone have experience with Skyrim? Downside is, I will have to get a TV with HDMI as well -- so the cost will be racking up for sure, but I definitely have the money for it. Just seems like it is sort of an unnecessary luxury for the time being. BLAH. Indecisive.

I assume you don't have a computer that can run it? Because that would undoubtedly be the cheaper option.

Most people who have played the last three games in the series, from what I've heard, like Skyrim more than Oblivion. Comparing Morrowind and Skyrim gets more of a mixed reception, but if you liked Oblivion, you'll probably love Skyrim.

Originally Posted by Singularity125

I assume you don't have a computer that can run it? Because that would undoubtedly be the cheaper option.

Most people who have played the last three games in the series, from what I've heard, like Skyrim more than Oblivion. Comparing Morrowind and Skyrim gets more of a mixed reception, but if you liked Oblivion, you'll probably love Skyrim.

I'm getting my grandma's (who passed away a month ago) HP desktop, but I haven't computer gamed since Battlefield 1942 came out when I was running XP over a decade ago. My other two computers are a laptop that I know cannot run it and a MacAir. I bet I would have to upgrade the graphics card in the desktop I am getting to run Skyrim. I am not a computer gamer anyways, so that really isn't an option. Ugh, I have other things I want to invest in, like new music equipment, starting up an IRA and paying off some debts. Hell, I might even give this desktop to my mom, because frankly I don't even know how much I will use it.

Mo money, mo problems.

WTF? My brother's been dodging me for about 2 weeks now. It's been excuse after excuse, now I can't even drag him out for his birthday dinner. WTF? FREE FUCKING DINNER! Fine, if he wants to be a stubborn fucker, then he'll just miss a good dinner.

Fuck it. I give up trying to be nice to people.

ugh.. why is effort so hard to do?