Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Rave: I ♥ this thread because no matter how bad my day is you guys are having a badder time of it than me.

Rant: Last year was awful. My bestest dream friend in the world up-and-died in January, (see my signature). Then I had to have major surgery for suspected "Ovarian Cancer". Surgeons took all my baby making bits out, but I'm 55 so I won't be using them any way. My health and energy has gone south since then.

Rave: I just got home from getting my medication at the markets. As I crossed Grote Street I realized that this years Sidewalk art would be done, portraying the Chinese New Year Animal. Last year was a Horse. This year it is "A Sheep"

Just now I was listening to "High Hopes" from post #61 of this thread:

★★★

http://www.dreamviews.com/beyond-dre...ml#post2146743

★★★

Here is a bit of that post:

Originally Posted by EbbTide000

February -5- 2013 (2 years ago) In post #15 of this thread I said that I was only here in Dreamviews to do this dream game in this thread. That is still true.



Here's that tune that I woke too again, in case it don't work in quotes.

♥♥♥

"High Hopes" Frank Sinatra: "High Hopes" Frank Sinatra - YouTube

♥♥♥

Then I realised that a sheep's a mate is "A RAM".

So o o

Now I am excited.

This year folk will participate in my sincronicity dream game and I am going to have fun, Fun, FUN (!!!)

HERE are the lyrics:

Frank Sinatra*– High Hopes Lyrics

Next time your found, with your chin on the ground
There a lot to be learned, so look around

Just what makes that little old ant
Think he'll move that rubber tree plant
Anyone knows an ant, can't
Move a rubber tree plant

But he's got high hopes, he's got high hopes
He's got high apple pie, in the sky hopes

So any time your gettin' low
'Stead of lettin' go
Just remember that ant
Oops there goes another rubber tree plant

When troubles call, and your back's to the wall
There a lot to be learned, that wall could fall

Once there was a silly old ram (meee)
Thought he'd punch a hole in a dam
No one could make that ram, scram (meee)
He kept buttin' that dam. (My dream game thread)

'Cause he had high hopes, he had high hopes
He had high apple pie, in the sky hopes

So any time your feelin' bad
'stead of feelin' sad
Just remember that ram
Oops there goes a billion kilowatt dam

All problems just a toy balloon
They'll be bursted soon
They're just bound to go pop
Oops there goes another problem kerplop

I'm at the supermarket and I see a family of 3 in the bulk section all dipping their hands in multiple items multiple times and snacking away as if it was a free for all. I see the mother hand feeding her son pineapple she stole and then getting more for herself! She's teaching him!!! Am I supposed to let them get away with this? I let an employee know; I can't stand it. People are so unaware these days they're unaware of their unawareness!

I'm a broken damaged person.

Originally Posted by Anju

I'm a broken damaged person.

=\ I don't believe that for a second. We all have our pain and baggage, and right now, yours may seem really overwhelming. You will make it through somehow. I know that isn't very conciliatory, but just realize that in a few years you'll look back on it and realize "Yeah, that was really rough, but here I am."

Erg... thanks a lot, EbbTide. I'm going to have that song stuck in my head for hours

Dolphin, that was rather bold of her. The most annoying shopping experience I had with little kids was at a gas station. The mom was buying lotto tickets, asking the kid, "should we get another one?!". They left the store then came back in for more and the kid seemed too excited for it to be healthy. The kid was around 5 if I recall.

Anju. I second Tiresias' wise words.

My rant is that I'm awake after about 3 hours of sleep.
My rave is that I've almost perfected my lanyard.
FaveLan.jpg
The only thing I'm going to do different for the next round is the strap. Right now it's just a ?? sort of like a draw cord. But it twists too much. I really suck at connecting edges so I'm thinking about keeping the draw cord, but attaching it with buttons to either side independently like straps instead of a cinch-cord.

Another rave is that I broke down and told hubby if he gets me a good gaming computer he can dock $50. from my allowance for life. But he's wanting me to fine tune the process. I know NOTHING about computers.
He's stuck on Velocity computers, so that's where I'm at. The Raptor signature Edition is creme de le creme (sp lol), but would the Edge Z55 be just as adequate? My primary need is for games like Everquest and WoW, but I'd really like to get back into Skyrim, Bioshock, Fallout, Sims.
I have no idea.

I don't know how to connect to anything, feel anything or be human, and I know that the thing perceived as "right" would be to pretend otherwise but I'm not sure that I can and not sure that I care. Just disconnect again and again and write weird abstract stream of consciousness until everything's over. I'm not depressed or suicidal but I would like to die, and don't always understand why people are so intent on continuing to live. It's been that way since I was really young, on and off at least, just "enough, I've been here far too long already, it means nothing. I don't want anything. Not even happiness or pleasure." They are essentially illusory, transparent, and always run out.

Maybe I'm weak and awful and have it too easy. Need to go and put myself in some situation where some real survival instinct might actually have cause to kick in. But I suspect in such a situation I would really just be motionless and die. Need to stop being so selfish and try to help others. But I'm so hopelessly useless at social interaction, at knowing what to do, that it's hard to believe the best thing for other people isn't just to stay away or to stop existing. I just want to be a reasonably good, decent person and manage not to cause harm or inconvenience to others before it's finally acceptable for me to die but it sometimes seems quite impossible. Honestly I don't intend to screw up everything I come across but I keep on managing it anyway. I should stop whining so much and do more to change things but I don't know how, or where to start, or even specifically what is wrong anyway. I can only think of messing myself up. After all, I've ruined things more than once by trying hard to mend them when they were supposedly fine.

Vasiona, I have thought those same thoughts, although our experiences are unique. What got me out of it was beginning a relationship with Life, as if Life was another person, a person that encompassed everything that happened in my Life. And so, when Life feels pointless I remember that it would be rude to tell a friend that you don't like how pointless they are. Friends aren't there to bring you to a destination. It's all about pointlessness, beautiful companionship. That's what did it for me. What you are experiencing right now is beautiful, I do value the days in which I thought the way you did, they were... meaningful? Valuable? I wish you the best, whether you continue with those true thoughts that you think, or if new ones take their place. .

Strange days, not sure if good or bad. These pills I've been taking for like three weeks now make me really sleepy. Anxiety seems to have decreased, not too much but hey, there it is. We'll see in a few weeks how they go.

I find myself lately having these weird dreams. I've had a lucid dream again, after what seems to be a lifetime. I feel like I do not exist or that I'm alone in this world/reality/existence, surrounded by reflections of my very own self, luckily the thought disappears quickly. I'm both happy and sad, with hope and hopelessness, at war and peace, coexisting in the very same spot.

I really hope everybody's doing okay, have a nice weekend people .

PD: Oh, yes. The profile editor won't let me change the LD Count, does anyone know why?

I'm tired of feeling so damn lonely all the time Friday at school, we were sitting outside and it was pretty cold. So my friend grabbed my hand, rubbed it and she also
gave me a tight hug. It obviously made me happy and it got me thinking. Most of my friends are in a relationship and then there's me. I wish I had someone who I could be close with, I just want to feel loved.
I'll be turning 21 in less than a week and I've never had a girlfriend before or even kissed a girl. I've had a few online relationships but that's it.
I'm not surprised by that because I don't even like myself so why would anyone else like me?

I also don't understand why I'm still struggling with my depression. I have no reason at all to be depressed. My grades are really good, work experience is going alright, I have quite a lot of friends at school, I go out often, I'm not being bullied anymore, I get along with my parents and I've got so many things to look forward to (like trips, holidays and gigs):





I just don't get it, meds didn't work, therapy didn't work, nothing seems to be working. And I really am trying to get better, I really am. But my happiness just doesn't last long.
I really think that I'm just gonna have to live with it, and try to focus on the good things in life because that's all I can do.

I've got so much to rant about today to be honest

I've been friends with this girl for over 5 years now, she's having some kind of problems. And she's taking it all out on me, it really isn't fair.
She's pushing me away and I really feel like just giving up on her, I'm done with making all the effort alone and being treated like shit

Originally Posted by Astaroth

PD: Oh, yes. The profile editor won't let me change the LD Count, does anyone know why?

I had the same experience. It turned out I couldn't save changes to my profile, because there was a field I had left unfilled, and which the website owners wanted me to fill in. As soon as I filled it in, the saving process went smoothly.

Check for any error messages, as you try to save!

all around.

My main rant: Why the heck am I awake? I didn 't crash until around 8AM.
I woke freezing with a nearly bursting bladder and shoulders (and ankle) that felt dislocated. Why must I sleep ike such a contortionist?
The dogs are about to realize I'm awake and then they'll be back here pestering me... yep. Right on cue lol
And my toe has been cramping like mad for the last few days. Why the heck triggers it? It drives me nuts and hurts more than a small thing should.
To top it all off, my nose is stuffed and my throat is dry. I'm either allergic to my bed or the act of lying down causes this misery. I wake like this every single day. Gah.

Did I miss anything
Forget all this. I'm going back to sleep

A few hours ago my left-side little toe cramped for a minute or more. My little toes have never cramped, only big toes. Which toes cramped on you, Zhaylin?

0h, it is 3:20am here and I am awake and miserable. (3:20am Monday 9-Feb-2015) I'm lying down to sleep, now.

Was it your "left-side little toe that cramped?

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

all around.

My main rant: Why the heck am I awake? I didn 't crash until around 8AM.
I woke freezing with a nearly bursting bladder and shoulders (and ankle) that felt dislocated. Why must I sleep ike such a contortionist?
The dogs are about to realize I'm awake and then they'll be back here pestering me... yep. Right on cue lol
And my toe has been cramping like mad for the last few days. Why the heck triggers it? It drives me nuts and hurts more than a small thing should.
To top it all off, my nose is stuffed and my throat is dry. I'm either allergic to my bed or the act of lying down causes this misery. I wake like this every single day. Gah.

Did I miss anything
Forget all this. I'm going back to sleep

Rant: Class is kicking my ass.
Rave: I kissed a girl last night.
Rant: That stupid song is in my head.
Cry: It wasn't who I wanted it to be.
Complain: Been getting way too tipsy.
Rave: Everything is going to be okay.

edit:

My newest computer died yesterday and it's all my fault.

A simple rave; today has been a better day.


Occipitalred, thank you lots for sharing that. I like your way of thinking. I’ve thought vaguely similar things in the past but no, never quite that same thing, and I always slipped away from them in a sense. Maybe I can focus on trying to see and understand it more like that. Best wishes to you also.


…Zhaylin, heh, I can relate to sleeping like a contortionist. xD I try to sleep in the weirdest positions too. I hope you were able to get some better sleep eventually.

EbbTide, it's been going on for some 12 years. It's only my big toe. At first it was only the left, but the right joined in on the "fun" a year or 2 ago. The right isn't as severe or as frequently bothersome as the left though. So there's that lol
I thought it was gout, but it's very unlikely. *shrug*

Great, Auron, now I have THAT song stuck in my head as well
for your computer and everything else.

I just woke up again. I had dream-loop dreams about the end of the world and zombies thanks to watching Jupiter Ascending yesterday. The movie had nothing to do with zombies but it was triggered by it none-the-less.
Before I woke up the first time, I dreamed my ex-hubby poured orange tictacs all over me and in my mouth. I was crying out that I hated orange and had a seizure because of sugar overload
So, I guess, those dreams are all raves. I do love weird and vivid dreams.
Time to find food...

**EDIT**
haha, Vasiona. Glad to hear I'm not the only one! And thank you

So tired and exhausted all the time, i need to see a doc but ugg dont want to.
Havent been on here as much as i want just kinda lurking alot.
Get a lucid dream about once every two weeks. Brief and no control but still.
But im going to be making a bomb cheesecake this week.

Doc.
Cheesecake sounds amazing!

Ugh... I'm "depressed", but there's no reason for it so I feel like a silly dummy.
I spend almost all my time in bed and most of that time asleep. I just don't want to do anything, so I go to sleep. What the heck?
I'm not sad or pessimistic. I'm not even indifferent. I'm just not interested in anything.

A rave is that I discovered I like room temp peas and the liquid. I eat corn straight from the can but wasn't in the mood for corn, so I broke down and tried my peas. Very yummy lol and peas don't cause pain like corn does.

Gah! I already want to go back to bed

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Ugh... I'm "depressed", but there's no reason for it so I feel like a silly dummy.
I spend almost all my time in bed and most of that time asleep. I just don't want to do anything, so I go to sleep. What the heck?
I'm not sad or pessimistic. I'm not even indifferent. I'm just not interested in anything.

Gah! I already want to go back to bed

You just described my last week's mood .

for last weeks suffering. How did you snap out of it? I've been stuck in this rut for at least 2 weeks

I'm a gamer without a console. I think that's my main problem first world problems lol.
But I guess hubby's truly taking me up on my offer. He's going to start docking my allowance this week. I was really hoping he'd wait until I got it. I was going to buy some games to play before it got here. I figured now or never because I wouldn't be able to afford them after the cut. There goes that plan Oh well. I already have Morrowind, Oblivion, Skyrim, WoW and EQ2. That should keep me consumed for a while.

I can't view any pics on here, apparently I don't have permission and must refresh the page, which does nothing.
I'm a VETERAN member, people! I have permission! Although I still haven't gotten veteran status either. DV hates me.

Rant is I've had a tension headache for 5 days now. Every time I stand up it gets worse and the muscles behind my eyes hurt a lot if I look sideways, up or down.
I'm not even stressed really, not sure what's causing it. Maybe it's something else.

You DO have veteran status tommo, your name is teal. And to check it, can you see the Community Team Forum on the main forum page? Let me know if you can't. As for the pictures that you can't see, do you mean pics in posts, or avatars or what.

Complaint: I will never wake up at 3am for work again EVER. It's unnatural and meant to destroy.

Tommo. Maybe a storm is coming? Changes in weather give me headaches sometimes.

Ophelia. lol, I sympathize. I'd never be able to function!!

A new rave is that I discovered I've been pronouncing something wrong my entire life.
"Often" should be pronounced like "off-in". The "t" is silent as in "soften", and "glisten"
Huh. Now I know.

I've been binge watching "The Mentalist" and one of the characters pronounced "Forward" as "Foe-ward". My hubby- an overly educated man- says it the same way. I went to look up if it was some sort of regional accent (sort of).
i stumbled across a site Do You Speak American . What Speech Do We Like Best? . Beastly | PBS that's been most interesting.

But yeah, I used to read the dictionary for fun, so I'm easily amused

heh, another one I butcher "SpontaNEIty" I say "Nay" where it should be "knEE".

**EDIT**
Okay... one more and then I'll leave y'all alone
"With WITH (th as in this and there), not WITH (rhymes with pith and myth)"
What the heck is the difference? Speaking out loud, I hear no differences between them. (THis myTH)
Am I missing something?

Originally Posted by tommo

I made a program in Python which screenshots and automatically saves the image when you mouseover a little window, do you want that? Could speed up that process.
Although I'm sure there are programs to save PDF's as images. Think I've done that before.

Yea, if you can send it to me I'll check it out. I probably won't use it anymore for this class/book, but it could come in handy in the future. For this class: I don't care anymore. Yea, that didn't take long. But it's really hard caring about something that doesn't matter! I mean, I've already taken this math in high school. I got a grade, graduated, and forgot all of it. So now I'm doing it again so that I can get a grade, graduate, and then completely forget it all again.

I think I'm going to just drop out of this community college altogether. It feels like such a waste to do so, but I just want to learn what I'm actually going to be doing. I really wish I would've just opted for a career school/tech school/vo-tech/whatever they're called. Cause that's what I'm probably going to do now anyway. I have a far easier time learning things when I'm able to physically apply them (as in, not just some silly word problems) to practical real-life situations.



But I shouldn't get started on that. I complain too much about the educational system as is, and the only thing complaining does is get me all worked up. No, it's time to relaaaaaax. Today's actually been pretty good and productive. Amazing how much I can get done when I don't sit down in front of my computer right after work...

Originally Posted by OpheliaBlue

Complaint: I will never wake up at 3am for work again EVER. It's unnatural and meant to destroy.

Bah! I'd do it. We have a weekend shift here that's around 4am - 2pm. If I could switch my current job to those hours, I'd do it. But that's mostly because they just work four 10-hour days and get a higher base-rate on Sat/Sun.




Edit: Well, I guess that's good marketing? I ordered an album from a label's site, and they have their own sort of branded money. You accumulate their money through buying albums, nd maybe other ways, and you can then use their money to buy things from the store. sounds fancy, and they gave me 300 of their moneys for ordering an album. I was all, "Cool!" But then I decided to be a nerd, and it turns out that they essentially gave me $0.75 towards my next purchase. I mean, I guess that's still cool, sort of, but mostly I don't care now. Marketing 0 Me 1

Gosh I am sore. I went hard working out, and I am paying for it. The annoying part is I didn't even use weights, which I wanted to do tomorrow.