I have a major crush on Tommo, he's really cute and intelligent
3/30/2013 9:56 AM
ಠ_ಠ
I want to break someone up with their boyfriend, and beat the shit out of him as well.
3/30/2013 9:58 AM
Dude, here's a better plan.
>Get Photoshop CS5
>Find Pic of her that can be applied in many environments
>Get a pic of your friend or someone you know and take a picture of them (preferably male)
>Do some fancy stuff with Photoshop
>Distribute it to her boyfriend's phone anonymously
>Say "Oops, wrong message"
>Boyfriend starts getting concerning thoughts, slowly breaking down wondering if his little angel is cheating on him
>You start talking to her more and shaking her hand, but make sure to quickly leave when you see him, then the more men her boyfriend sees her with, he'll get paranoid.
>Ask her if you can meet her at a park at times where no one is around.
>Pretend to cry and take advantage of the moment and "accidentally" touch her breast
>She twitches a little
>Immediately say sorry
>Boyfriend after a few weeks gets aggressive with her
>She starts telling you he's doing so
>More reason to beat the shit out of him as well
>Obtain girl now before she triggers the friendzone so you can take advantage of when she wants to feel like a woman
>Girlfriend
>broken bones ex-boyfriend
>Wife
>Kids
>Karma
>Comatose for 6 years
>Wife goes back to ex-boyfriend
>You come out of Comatose
>See house with rearranged photos of your children that you raised with another father
>"I'm sorry honey, I thought you wouldn't recover....it's been 6 long years of being alone"
>inb4YouSnapMentally
>Ex-boyfriend now new husband comes in
>"Hey susan! how you doing?!?!" *He grabs her just like he did when he was aggressive*
>"I'm sorry, I just need someone stronger"
> Comatose for rest of life
Yeah, go find another woman.
In real life I sometimes stick my finger in my ass and visit Goodwill and wipe my finger on the clothes while pretending to check tags. Secretly I like the idea of people buying them and thinking that's just the way clothes from Goodwill smell,
3/30/2013 12:19 PM
You definitely know how to spread your good will to a donation site in a unique way.
I have a fetish for analingus, but was always skeptical because no matter how "clean" a girl's ass would be, my mouth would still smell like shit somehow unless I convinced her to get it bleached or a nice cycle of enema. I decided to give my girlfriend a rimjob, and I loved how she shakes with pleasure when I roll my tongue around the sensitive areas of the outer regions. She grabs the bed and clenches it like there's no tomorrow and even shoves her ass into my face. It feels hot knowing that I prepared her to clean the outer regions beforehand, and I wake up in the morning wishing that I can lick her down there daily and feel her soft skin against my face.
I can't wait to get some toys to give her the hint of what I want to do with her. I just need to take this slowly, I want both of us to enjoy this, and since she likes being licked down there, she's obviously going to be into anything I ask her to do because she knows that I care about her well-being.
3/30/2013 11:23 PM
Wow.
(And that other confession that I didn't include that talked about blood, come on, you just wasted your time typing like a mini-novel when you know it's just absurd).
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