The Nomad Chronicles

I am on the Moon, in a martial arts practice area, practicing dual sword fighting in my demon form, Deathgawn.

Nomad! Nomad? Time for class.

Raven? I teleport to Raven.

She is walking toward the Dream School to ring the bell. Raven turns to me. "Oh, you're here."

I thought you called me.

"No, I did," Red grins. I said it telepathically. She is a little red vampire. She dances around... Dream School! Dream School!

Raven rings the bell, and we go into the little ornately carved wooden building.

"Now for class today..." says Raven. "I only have two students?" Red and I are grinning at her sitting at our desks. I create a few portals, shoot astral tentacles out of my head, and pull some students into the school.

Hey! What?
Oh shit. I hated that dream.
Where am I?
I've been here before! says Majinaki. He looks like a Pikachu. He gives me a hug. It feels like hugging a giant stuffed animal, and getting a static electricity shock. "I hate my life. I hate my school. I hate everything."
"Well, why don't you come back to dreamviews?"
"I can't remember my dreams anymore. My life sucks."
"We're in a dream right now."
"Really. Oh yeah. I knew that!"
He takes off flying, and vanishes, waking up. He reappears a few seconds later in midair, and falls on the floor. He stands up, dusting himself off, and plucking two green rubber bats off his body. "Well, that was weird. So, this is a dream, huh?" He looks at his hands. They look kind of human-ish, with long nails and fur.

Robo appears. He dances around, and sings :banana: I made it, I made it to the Moon, oh yeah. I'm not going to remember this dream, oh yeah. Lol

Uh, Robo? I look at him closely. He appears to be a cyborg, but I see a more human form beneath. I look around the room, and everyone appears this way. Interesting.

Hi! Oh. Huh? Nomad? Is this a shared dream?

Yes.

Are you real?

Yes.

No, you're a DC.

I grab him by the throat and turn into a dragon with extremely detailed red scales and golden eyes. NO, I AM REAL, MAN. I drop him, and go back to my Nomad form. What? I thought I was a demon. I guess I morphed without realizing.

So, is this a dream?

Yes.

No, it's not. I'm just asleep.

Right! You dream when you're asleep.

I knew that. What the fuck? I knew I was asleep, but I didn't know I was dreaming? What do you even call that.

I don't know man. Sleep yoga?

Huh?

Nevermind. Time for dream school!

A huge red demon falls out of a portal. He also tosses some rubber light green bats into a portal. He then morphs into a red vampire boy. Loaf?

Yes?

I didn't know you had a Demon Self.

We all do.

Really?

And a shadow self?

Yes.

What's the difference?

The Shadow Self is dark energy based. The Demon Self is red energy based. Your Deathgawn form is actually your Shadow-Demon form. When you add the cyber-armor, it's actually from a prototype of a cyborg version of Timelyst Knight, your Future Self.

Kickass. And how do you know all this?

My Dream Guide told me.

Who's that?

Za-'anthaphor.

Um... Okay.

He's a Reptile-based form. Not really a dragon though.

So, why have you never talked like this before.

Well, I am in the Deep Dream State. I am not going to remember this, see, because my dream recall is not there. I can't channel my dream guide, since my waking self refuses to listen to him. Plus every time my lucid self sees my dream guide, he either runs away, attacks him, or ignores him. What a silly fellow.

So, I am not the only one?

No, you are just the one to give it a name. People like Mzzck, King Yoshi, and I are skilled at this Regular Lucid State. People like you and MoSh are skilled at The Deep Dream State. People like Raven and Tigress are skilled at both. Maybe one day, you can be like them, and draw power from this state into the next. My goal right now is basically get my lucid self to remember my Dream Guide. It's quite a task. When he's lucid, he doesn't think.

Maybe the first step is to get him to think in dreams.

Aha! Please remind him for me. Ah... How?

Through e-mail, of course!

Right!

I realized I had somehow froze time while Loaf and I were talking. Raven walks over to us. Done playing with time, Nomad?

Oh, shit? Actually, no!

I tick time forward and back. Then, I try to make it go up and down, and everything bends. Hey, STOP IT NOMAD! Raven seems resistant to my manipulations, but is greatly annoyed.

Sorry.

Everyone sits.

Now, for Dream School! says Raven.

[I]abridged[/I]

I meet Raven near the base of the Tower with BanYanLand in the background. She says something about 'silly lion.' Apparently I morphed into a big werelion. She creates a portal to MoSh's Inner World.

We are in front of his house. There are weeds in the yard. He stumbles out, and doesn't seem to notice there is anything wrong, either with the yard, or his fuckin FACE AND THERE IS THIS CRAZY BLACK SLIME MOLD SHIT RIGHT ON HIS FUCKIN FACE!

It crawls out of his nose, and covers his entire upper face. Asuka silently screams. SHIT SHIT SHIT.

I create a portal behind MoSh to the Healing Glen, and tackle him. Raven follows behind.

MoSh gets pissed off at me for tackling him, and shoves me off. What the fuck is wrong with you Nomad?

I just turn on my energy shield, and play my didjeridoo.

Raven tries to explain about the shit on his face, but he doesn't notice. I figure out the thing's primary frequency, secondary frequency... I focus on its dream-matter.... I scan it... and LASER BOMB THAT BEEYOTCH. It vaporizes. There are a few little flecks which a dog comes and licks off. It playfully bites MoSh. He looks at his hands.

Normal. I must be dreaming.

Well, that was a weird RC man.

It's just that they always look so weird in waking life.

Oh... okay...

Well, you had some weird shit... a parasite on your face, of dark energy..

Oh, really?

It was distorting your perception.

Oh, right. I can see a lot better now.

It was gross man.

Really.

Yes! says Raven. Anyway, let's go back. Asuka is worried.

We go back.

Asuka runs up and hugs MoSh, and ruffles his hair. Thanks, guys, she says, and kisses him on the cheek. She looks him in the eyes.

Do you see me okay, now? Do you hear what I am saying?

She says something in simple Japanese, but I don't know what it is... something like, do you like my cooking?

He says, Hai.

Okay, she laughs. You are perceiving me correctly now, she says in a thick Japanese accent.

They kiss, and MoSh vanishes.

Darn, he woke up!

MoSh reappears a second later.

"Hey, it worked!" he says.

"It always works, silly. You just don't always remember. It's okay. You people are like Alzheimer's patients. Your dream memories are some of the most under-evolved in the universe!"

We are all little people dancing in a big tree. This dream is so vivid I can't talk about it. Ah....

It was kind of like a past life? Some monsters burned down our village... they ate us... they liked the fish in our bellies...

I and the survivors banded together and learned to live off of the land. We hunted the creatures, and we ate them in ceremonies under moons...

**
dancing on the moon... underground... lanterns....

and we are all gnomes....

this dream is so vivid, it's hard to describe.

I am meditating in my meditation room before the Dragon Mirror in BanYanLand. Professor X appears in the mirror.

OH SHIT. YOU AGAIN.

Yes, it's me, or you from another Dimension. Don't you remember, idiot?

I know that!

He steps out of the mirror, and merges with me. I feel like I am being tossed around like someone being tossed around by a wave. We zoom through a wormhole, and are in outer space between the moon and the earth. I meditate and a pale blue light forms above my third eye.

Dream bubbles appear around me, like oil floating on water.

Citizens of Urth!

I shoot an astral tentacle into each dream bubble. I CALL THE DREAMWALKERS OF URTH TO ME! DREAMWARRIORS, I SUMMON THEE.

All manner of dream warriors float out of their dream bubbles.

I HAVE DECLARED WAR ON THE TEMPLARS OF URTH. WHO WILL JOIN ME IN THE WAR?

Uh... who are the Templars?

They are assholes trying to control the planet.

Well, fuck those guys... but, how do we know we can trust you?

Ok... you don't. Why don't we do some battle training. You enemy is not going to help you right? Come to the Moon and meet me in the Battle Pyramid in the City of Nowhere.

The City who?

I begin attacking everyone. They all attack me back. Some people wake up and vanish. Others make groups to band against me. Some fight me individually.

Why the hell are you attacking us?

So you know I am a badass, fucker!

I become Deathgawn, and summon Sarnox, Skyfire, and Rainstorm. I make a big demonic pyrotechnic display. One Dream Warrior, in an angel form does a spin attack at me, like a drill. I lift off my centipede disk, and he flies into my chest portal to Angel Heaven. The word LOL float above my head.

Well, bitches, I am going back to the City of Nowhere on the goddamned Moon. If anyone wants to come, I'll be there.

well, who the fuck are you?

THE MAYOR

I have my own talk show. I am in my Vampire Form. It's set up like Oprah.

Loaf is my guest for the show. He is also a vampire. I am wearing a nice black suit with no tie, and have jet black long straight hair with a violet tint to my pale skin. Loaf has short straight dark brown hair with red streaks in it, and his eyes are red. He is wearing a red cape and has a red weapon in his hand.

Nomad: Welcome Loaf to the show.

Yaay!

N: Ok, well you can put down your weapon, Mr. Loaf.

(nervous laughter)

N: So, Mr. Loaf, what kind of vampire are you?

L: I am a Red Vampire, which means I feed off of red energy. It's mainly anger, rage, things like that, but it could be blood.

N: Interesting.

L: I like sentience. It's delicious.

N: Uh... Okay.

Loaf looks at me and grins hungrily.

L: I see you are a dark energy vampire. You feed off of darkness.

N: Yes.

L: Why don't you give me some energy!

Loaf leaps upon me, trying to get at my neck. I try to toss him away. He bites my arm. I get enraged.

L: Mmf... that's it. Red energy.

I calm myself, and flick him off.

L: That was all I needed.

We return to our chairs. The audience is mortified. I slowly bleed dark energy out of Loaf throughout the duration of the interview through eye contact.

N: Alright. So, tell me more about the different types of vampires.

L: Well, there are vampires that desire each type of energy, light, dark, red, green, blue, anything. Ones such as green vampires you would probably describe as elves or maybe parasitic plants, but they all feed off of green energy. The power of vampires comes from pull, or gravity attacks. Vampires will drain your energy, then use it against you. We can also get energy from other sources, so sentience-draining is unnecessary.

N: So, tell me what you are doing here...

(A viewscreen pops up)

L: Well, this is my regular dream self sitting at school, blah blah blah... And look, there's me, the vampire aspect... creeping into regular Loaf.... haha... oh, look, now Loaf is a vampire. Time to kick ass and drink blood. HAHAHA

Loaf starts kicking the ass of some weird teacher-demon and a security guard-demon.

Well, that's our show...

The audience apparently ran out. The crew claps hollowly.

AW SHUT UP.

I have my own talk show. I am in my Vampire Form. It's set up like Oprah.

Loaf is my guest for the show. He is also a vampire. I am wearing a nice black suit with no tie, and have jet black long straight hair with a violet tint to my pale skin. Loaf has short straight dark brown hair with red streaks in it, and his eyes are red. He is wearing a red cape and has a red weapon in his hand.

Nomad: Welcome Loaf to the show.

Yaay!

N: Ok, well you can put down your weapon, Mr. Loaf.

(nervous laughter)

N: So, Mr. Loaf, what kind of vampire are you?

L: I am a Red Vampire, which means I feed off of red energy. It's mainly anger, rage, things like that, but it could be blood.

N: Interesting.

L: I like sentience. It's delicious.

N: Uh... Okay.

Loaf looks at me and grins hungrily.

L: I see you are a dark energy vampire. You feed off of darkness.

N: Yes.

L: Why don't you give me some energy!

Loaf leaps upon me, trying to get at my neck. I try to toss him away. He bites my arm. I get enraged.

L: Mmf... that's it. Red energy.

I calm myself, and flick him off.

L: That was all I needed.

We return to our chairs. The audience is mortified. I slowly bleed dark energy out of Loaf throughout the duration of the interview through eye contact.

N: Alright. So, tell me more about the different types of vampires.

L: Well, there are vampires that desire each type of energy, light, dark, red, green, blue, anything. Ones such as green vampires you would probably describe as elves or maybe parasitic plants, but they all feed off of green energy. The power of vampires comes from pull, or gravity attacks. Vampires will drain your energy, then use it against you. We can also get energy from other sources, so sentience-draining is unnecessary.

N: So, tell me what you are doing here...

(A viewscreen pops up)

L: Well, this is my regular dream self sitting at school, blah blah blah... And look, there's me, the vampire aspect... creeping into regular Loaf.... haha... oh, look, now Loaf is a vampire. Time to kick ass and drink blood. HAHAHA

Loaf starts kicking the ass of some weird teacher-demon and a security guard-demon.

Well, that's our show...

The audience apparently ran out. The crew claps hollowly.

AW SHUT UP.

I SEE Professor X in the mirror. He tells to wake up the mutants.

Xaphor is a vampiric gargoyle. He looks terrifying. We are standing on a cliff over looking a lava field with hot slow moving lava. One day, son, this will all be yours. I feel terrified, yet excited. I am in my Deathgawn form.

Xaphor: You have a fear of becoming evil. This is why you are now a demon. You must embrace this fear. In order to to this, you must embrace your dark side, instead of trying to deny it. Even angels can choose to harm the innocent. Fear is crippling and destructive. When fear comes, embrace the rush of energy, and alter it's frequency. This is basically the way you do the counterspell, Fear Resist. Vegeta did not want to teach you this earlier, because he didn't want to overwhelm you with the volume of information. Unfortunately, he sometimes has to repeat himself. But, now he can tell when you're going to remember a dream, so he pours a lot of information into that dream, as I am doing now.

Wake up, write the dream down.

Laser Bomb
I am watching Vegeta blow up asteroids with a yellowish white laser he shoots from his third eye. He says the weapons is called Laser Bomb. What you do is focus light energy in the center of your brain, then shoot it through your third eye, to the center of an object. Find the object's frequency, then turn in your energy to harmonize with that of the object, but make it slightly off-key. The mix of chaotic and harmonic frequencies will cause the molecules to vibrate against each other disharmoniously, and the object will explode. This works best against elementals, or anything made of primarily one element. It could be used to destroy a blade, for instance, but the handle may still remain.
Now he tells me to try it. I pull in light energy into my body from a nearby star through my eye, hand, and feet chakras. I focus it into the center of my brain, then blast it out of my third eye into a rock. I probe the center of the rock. I hear a strange rumbling noise, along with a whiny squeal. I emit a similar noise with my laser. The asteroid glows red and vibrates, then explodes.
And now that you have that thing's energy signature, you can easily destroy object's around it with the same signature. I blow up a few more. He spins around, and blows up 5 almost instantly. I mimic him. We fly through an asteroid belt, blowing up asteroids. I notice a few have life. We avoid hitting those. I am using my left hand and foot to draw in energy from the star, and use its gravity to orbit around it.
Sometimes training is fun.

*****


I am eating dinner at Vegeta's house. Everything looks so realistic, but he looks like a cartoon. He starts choking Serena. I attack him, and the scene changes. Now, we are in a hallway.. all white. He is using Fists of Fury on me, and I attack back with my fists full of dark energy. That might be effective, he laughs, if I was really here. What? No wait, it's a wormhole.

[I]You fool! I am using Consuming Illusion on you. I would never attack my wife. So, you know you are dreaming. So what, did you know you are in an Illusion? I taught you this two years ago. *sigh* And now, I led you into a wormhole... to... your Inner World. And it looks like things are pretty effed up in here, pal.[/I]

There are portals everywhere to my dark Inner World, Neverhell. All manner of hellions are falling, flying, and leaping out of portals, and slaying the people of NeverWonderland. I make all the people of NeverWonderland have epic battle mech armor. The battle becomes a draw. It becomes a movie. We sit back, watch, and eat popcorn.

[I]You idiot! We are not watching a movie. This whole theater is an Illusion. See with true sight, this is really happening. I activate my True Sight ocular implant. I see the theater as ghostly, and all the people fighting as bright colored energy. I look at my energy body, and I notice I have a couple parasites, one in my dream brain, and one on my third eye. I activate my nanobots to attack the parasites. I have a short dream-within-a-dream of me riding one of the nanobots, and the parasites clogging an energy pathway, like a wormhole in the dream body. THe mocking Vegeta dissappears. I fight on the side of Neverneverland, but there is my Shadow Self, Timelyst Knight, mirroring my every move. I merge with him, and the two worlds merge, becoming NeverNeverHell. All the residents are now clad in a silver and black armor.

So, where are you, really?[/I]

Your dream body is sleeping in Outer Space. Don't worry, I am watching over you. I taught you the mechanics of a Sleep Spell, which is obviously very complicated. It will be easier for your friend Raven Knight to do it, because she can use music. Unfortunately, you suck, so you must use Illusions to perform a Sleep Spell. Here's how it works: You use Consuming Illusion, and get them to attack your illusion of your dream body, and lead them down a wormhole into their Inner World, and they will falls asleep. Get them to stay in their Inner World as long as you can, and they will sleep longer. I did this using an advanced technique of planting cyborg parasites on you when we fought last. You were too busy looking at my hands to notice, when you should've been looking at my eyes. If you did, you would've caught me accidentally looking to grab the parasites, then you would've followed my glance to hand with the parasites, and maybe seen them. The purpose of the parasites is to project an illusion. The one in your brain projected the illusion of setting, while the one on your third eye projected me. This is something you can create in your asteroid, but you must hunt down the proper parasites. I can show you later, if you wish.

I make a portal out of my Inner World, and end up in Outer Space. Good, job, he says, patting me on the back.

Now, I will teach you to resist Fear Attacks. Fear Attacks are done like this: first you scan your enemy's mind for phobias. This is called a Mind Invasion. You should do this unscrupulously to your enemies. Then, you must cast that fear upon them. You cannot just cast fear, but must create the Illusion of that fear. I just scanned you as we were talking, but you were too busy focusing on my words to notice. Next time, look at my eyes. You would've seen me scan your dream body. See, people store fear in their minds, but also their hearts. I see you have a fear of going blind. I am going to cast Blindness on you. Again, your friend Raven can use songs for Blindness, but this is how you must do it. First you use Consuming Illusion on them, get them to attack your illusion, then lead their dream body down a wormhole into a dark place, like a cave. You can also make it totally dark in the Illusion, but for that, you need parasites. Yup, they're already on you. If you weren't so flattered by my empty compliment, you would've noticed me placing the parasites on you. This is called a Praise Attack, or Compliment Attack. You attack someone as you compliment them. Even a pat on the back, can lead to pain and agony if someone like me compliments you. Now, you are in a strange city.

The scene changes. I lose all lucidity for a second. I regain lucidity, but forget what just happened.

NOTES
[I]Then I have the dream I posted earlier about going blind. I realized later, the entity in the dream was Vegeta's Illusory Body. [/I]

[I]"HAH shared dreaming isnt real....... "[/I]

[I]Trolls! LOL![/I]

Raven opens a portal to MoSh's Inner World. The wormhole suddenly blooms. We are in a huge cavernous wormhole. Some strange bats come and attack us, trying to feed off of our energy. I spin around, and form a green force field around myself. For some reason, I am a minotaur. They begin swarming. We are all fighting the bats off. When we get through to the other side, we all feel sick.

I vomit dark energy. My symbiote is full. I scream, and dark energy shoots out of my eyes into the sky, and a storm forms. Ashen rain begins to fall.

Let's get inside, says MoSh.

Maybe, we can use some healing? How about we visit the Hot Springs? says Raven.

She opens a portal to the hot springs. I see a bunch of other dreamers there. Weird. Is it a party?

Raven and I say we are going to make new ones that don't expel dark energy, Balancing Pools.

MoSh looks at us strangely, and shrugs.

We walk toward the base of the mountain, and make a waterfall appear, with cool crystal clear water by waving our hands in the air. I see our guides helping us, like ghosts. Then, we make hot springs appear. These have a thin layer of smooth silky mud. Oh, we can use that for a mud bath, says Raven.

Make dream body look ten years younger, I laugh.

We jump in the pool at the waterfall. I notice it moves around my dark energy. It feels like it's stretching it out. Weird!

Then we go in the Hot Springs. It makes the dark energy come out of my pores, like sweat. I step out and I sweat out excess dark energy.

Suddenly don Juan appears, and I freeze, as if in a trance.

[I]So, you see, young old Nomad, one way of excreting dark energy harmlessly, but even superior to that, is respiration. Look at this. He breathes in many colors of energy, and blows out a swirl. He changes which kind of energy he exhales in one breath. It will take you years to be able to do this. But, for now, just focus on exhaling dark energy, since you have an excess of that. Breathe in all other types of energy, but dark energy, and exhale only that. Good. Now, increase your dream body temperature through yogic breathing. I begin yogic breathing. Good, my pet, my strange little unicorn. You can even do yoga or exercise in dreams to create dream body heat in order to sweat. Your friend, Walms, is always in a battle, so he is constantly sweating his dark energy out. Another thing you can do is increase your light energy intake to balance out the dark. You may feel like this is an excess of energy, but all you have to do is move the energy to all your dream body particles. Right now, you contain all your energy in your center, because you have the idea of a stomach in your mind. Your dream body has no stomach. Therefore, spread your energy. Look, go close to the sun. We teleport to the Sun. Inhale the sun, lad! I inhale the sun's light energy. It feels like I am inhaling fire. I feel the dark energy react to it, then balance out. I am dark on the bottom, and light on the top, then all the energy mixes, and balances out. Every dream particle of my dream body has both types of energy.

Okay.... you have been ridiculously walking around with those two wristlets I gave you and not been using them. I look at them. Their are a gray-greenish metal, with ornate carvings. One has a white stone, and one black. I then realize there is a tiny piece of a star in the white stone, and a tiny piece of a black hole in the black stone. It's super detailed, and the dream is so vivid! For some reason, I am in Greece in a temple or something. I am were-bull.. I was a Minotaur, but am now a human? WTF? Men armed with spears rush in at me. I shoot astral tentacles out of my wristlets. They whip around and grab the men around the ankles. My left dark one drains their energy, and the white one burns them with fire. I roar, and turn back into a Minotaur. YOU MADE ME WHAT I AM! YOU FUCKING "SCIENTISTS!" YOU ARE PLAYING GOD, AND YOU CREATED A MONSTER: ME. I grab one of the men in my mouth and fling him into a wall. I break through a wall and run into the country side. I find a cool river to drink from. I see my minotaur face. I feel vaguely confused. I eat some grass in a meadow, and lie down. [/I]

I awake in the Glen of Healing.

Raven: Wow, Nomad, you were asleep for a long time. Are you okay? You were talking in your sleep. I tried to follow you into your dream, but there was this weird barrier, so I thought you wanted to go into your Inner World or something.

I think I had a past life regression, or something Raven. I was a minotaur.

Oh, in another dimension?

No, I think the aliens experimented on us... or humans. Did some weird gene splicing somehow, and those mythical beasts... were experiments.

Whoah.. okay... Let's relax, and look at the stars.

Okay, let's go to Ye Olde Temple, and sit on the spaceship launch pad.

I open a portal to the Temple of Nothing. There is a picture of five animal faces on the launch pad. I don't recognize the kinds of animals they are. weird. One has a lot of reddish fur, and a big grinning face like a monkey.

We watch the stars dance across the sky.

I see Lonewolf run across the sky in a constellation, chasing a crab. Weird.

I feel like I am re-dreaming a dream, Raven.

I know.

Koomo is a giant man-bat cyborg battling Nevergawn. Nevergawn has a morning star, and a shield. They tumble over the landscape. Gawn summons a blowgun, and hits Nevergawn with a blow dart. He collapses. Koomo smashes Nevergawn's face into the Martian soil.

QUICK QUICK! says Gawn as he slices him up into tiny pieces with a green laser from his eyes. PORTALS!

We create as many portals as we can. Gawn dances on Nevergawn's body, kicking each piece into a different portal. At the defeat of Baphomet and Nevergawn, the Templars flee in fear, some of them soiling themselves. We laugh at them. Angels appears and tend to the wounded.

Gawn claps me on the back. "Well little man... You done good," he laughs. "That fucker will be back... He always will you know, being immortal. Good that you declared war on those fuckwads. They declared war on us millions of years ago, anyway... Oh, hey, I wanted to give you this."

He hands me a small loaf of bread. Uh... what? I take a bite. There is a small ceremonial dagger in it with a wavy blade. It is ornate. There is a violet gem in the mouth of a gargoyle on the handle.

"This is for doing true damage to enemies. Use this with your secret magic when you must banish an enemy to another dimension."

Gawn bows, and mockingly kisses my hand, then he laughs. He walks to Angel, and says something in her ear. He speaks to all of us individually, then makes a portal back to the Dream Warrior Planet.

Who wants to party? says MoSH.

Data appears next to me. By my calculations, the Templars will be attacking in 1.2 seconds.

PREPARE FOR BATTLE!

I summon Q10. We have to reinforce this shit! NOW!

Q10 and I fly around and create all kinds of barriers and defenses, the most important being tiny black hole portals on each spire.

Portals open all around the castle. Templars in steel armor with bloody crosses on their armor fly out on white Pegasi. The leader is the archdemon, Nevergawn.

"You know, Mr. No-nothingMad, Baphomet doesn't appreciate you treating him like yesterday news."

"Baphomet is yesterday doodoos," I taunt Nevergawn.

"Wow. Pretty lame for someone who just declared-"

I teleport to Nevergawn. I rip out his voice box, and drop it into my chest portal. He screams at me telepathically. YOU ASSHOLE! I AM A GOD!

I feel Gawn merge with me.

AND SO AM I! I roar in his face telepathically, and verbally. Gawn de-merges from me, and Gawn and Nevergawn tumble through portals and wormholes, trying to tear each other's dream bodies apart.

The darklings roar, and rush at the Templars. Baphomet is a giant god behind them all, giving them power. His eyes are glowing white.

Walms appears. WOOHOO, HOMBRE! A big battle? Walms is a shadow demon, with bright green eyes. Ah, look at these silly knights... full of delicious dark energy. ehehehe....

I ask my allies to distract the Templars from me. Sabertooth and I are going for Baphomet.

We fly toward his face, into his giant glowing eyes.

***

I am in a White Void, a flickering orange flame. I feel blind. I blink. White... white white... it's all I can see. Morpheus?

He cannot save you now, fool!

Shit... Am I in the Inner World of Baphomet?

I try to teleport out. I try to make a portal. I don't know what I am doing... All I can see is white. I feel fear, then I calm down, and let it pass.

A strange book appears on a pedestal. I can see something! I begin to go into a trance. I hear Vegeta's voice in my head.

NO! IT'S A TRAP. It's just a book. NO, IT'S A PORTAL TO HELL.

SHit! I snap out of it. You asshole! Let me out!

mocking laughter...

I have only one option: Create a portal to my sacred Inner World, NeverWonderland, and maybe... just maybe...

This fucker... I am going to do it.

I summon a black hole portal to Neverwonderland... The White Void around me collapses into the portal, and I with it.

We are not in Neverwonderland. We are in NeverHell. All my darkness, all my sorrow, all my rage... all my homicidal and suicidal tendencies are stored here. Peter Pan is a dark elf. The pirates are all wraiths. The merpeople are undead. Tinkerbell is a swarm of biting flies. The sun is black. The beach is full of skeletons bleaching in the dark sun.

Baphomet is floating next to me. He looks bewildered. He tries to speak, but is attacked instantly. Strange flying spiders swarm over him, biting him, and wrapping him up in their silk. He struggles and vomits. Selene and Gawn appear, making two huge portals.

Pixy/Tinkerbell, and Peter grab his head and feet. I slice him in half, and the two pieces go into the two different portals.

I roar in exultation. I survey NeverHell. I forgot about this place.

We teleport back to Mars.

(cont'd)

I am meditating in front of the mirror in the Mediation Room in BanYanLand. I open my eyes, and see many versions of me... a demon, an angel, a superhero, a Templar, a peon, a slave...

Time to reinforce my castle.

I teleport to the mirror by the koi pond in the Biodome. There is another one in the Temple that is its twin. I study it. I form an image of it in my mind. I look at my reflection. Yeah. Still a big nasty archdemon, still Deathgawn. I open a portal to my Devil Castle on Mars. Holy shit, it's being attacked by bats- no.... those are my bats, duh... I dub thee CASTLE ANTHRAX.

Sabertooth falls out of a portal, and rolls around on the ground laughing.

DUde! Castle Anthrax? Like in The Holy Grail? "Now it's time for the oral sex." HAHAHAH!

Yes. Castle Anthrax sounds badass, and it's funny, so fuck you.

BWAHAHAHA!

I roar, and a sign come out of the soil. It's wrought iron Gothic: CASTLE ANUX!

DOH!

BWAHAHAH!

Shut up. CASTLE ANUS!

DOH!

BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!

Dammit... CASTLE ANTHRAX! a little wooden sign appears beneath hanging from chains: BEEYOTCH.

I snap my fingers, and badass dubstep drops. Sabertooth grins at me, and summons two turntables, and spins. I summon my mech armor, and it melds with my witchblade armor.

I break a tip off of Sabertooth's fangs. HEY! It grows back. Oh...

I pick up some Martian rock, chew it up, and spit it into my hand. I form the bone and stone into a big nasty sword, serrated on one side, with curving teeth. I float it in the air. My witchblade forms a sword. I slam it into the Bonestone sword, and float it in the air. I summon the Moonblade. A beautiful white sword, engraved with sacred runes...silver handle made of twisted dragons... I grab the handles of the two swords, and form a double bladed quarterstaff. I spin it around. One blade is bright white, and the other is silvery red. I stick it in the ground. I roar, and a giant translucent blue sword emanates from my chest, and floats in the air above me. I break the first weapon in half, then slam all the weapons together. Then I separate two swords out from them. Both swords are imbued with the powers of all four blades. I spin them around, and slice the ground. I slice a boulder in half. I become huge, and make them into one giant sword. I practice some lunges, rushes, feints, and parries. I sheath my sword.

Wait.... I take it out, and slice my tongue with it. It greedily absorbs the blood, and glows with a devilish red light.Then, I see The Beast, my sentient didjeridoo war-club hopping around nearby. She turns into a crazy devil dog, and jumps into the sword. It hums with power. I DUB THEE, THE DEVILBEAST.

I sheath my sword. I slam my centipede disk on my chest. Thousands of silver centipedes crawl out and cover my body. I slam it again, and a black hole portal opens up in my chest. I practice with my energy boots. I slam them into the ground, and create an earthquake. I practice with my energy gloves and belt. Grab attack. Check. Punch attack. Check. Energy Shield. Check. Ocular True Sight implant. Check. Babelfish. Check. Selenite... MoSh you there? I am just chillin' in my Inner World dude. Peace out. Just doing a Selenite check. Check. Fly pods activate. Swarms of flies pour out of two pods on my shoulders, and return. The sunstone from Selene hangs from my chest, as does the crazy gold royal necklace from Lonewolf.

Allies!

Skyfire, and Rainstorm, by blue and silver dragons appear in fire lizard form, and alight on my shoulders. They turn to a dark iridescent color.

Sarnox comes tumbling out of a portal, and tosses some weird imps into it. He is a big black hellhound. I notice he's a little wounded. I take some dirt and spit in it, then smash it into his wounds. He snaps at me, but then is fine. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, ASSHOLE?

Good to see you too, Sarnox. Look, I have something for you.

A portal opens to Q10, my workshop on the asteroid. A droid comes through with a mech armor for a giant dog, then the droid leaves it, and goes back.

NICE.

Sarnox steps into the armor. He looks badass. He is covered with all sorts of guns and other weapons. Two tusks and a horn are on the head of the armor. I climb on to his back. He grows to match my size. He is now the size of a Clydesdale. I ride toward the gate. Sabertooth changes the music to some dark dirty d'n'b. The gates open.

The courtyard is full of all manner of strange fruit trees with black bark. There are hundreds of darklings that have gathered. Who brought these people? Koomo is standing on a central balcony overlooking the courtyard. He grins at me.

The dark creatures cheer, roar, and hiss at me. I roar at them back. I run Sarnox through them, and he snaps at them ferociously. Sarnox sprouts raven wings, and flies up to the balcony. I dismount, and he changes to his creepy Death Druid form. Sabertooth teleports up there and joins us. He becomes a black tiger with orange-red stripes. Koomo and I greet each other.

The darklings begin chanting. It sounds ominous, powerful, and terrifying. I grin in pleasure. A portal opens up from the sky. A white gorilla descends from it. He has two imps in his hand. He rips them in half, and tosses two of the halves in the portal. The other halves get eaten up by the darklings. It's Evna. He leaps on to the balcony with us.

Then I see the Shadow Selves of my dream friends, each standing on a different tower.

MoSh is Lobo. Raven is Queen of Night. Angel is in Angelwitch form. Tigress is a weretiger in black armor. I see Silverwolf, a tall witch with spiraling horns, and violet eyes. Loaf is tall red vampire. Red is there, too, also a red vampire.

Samael appears out of a portal. He looks like a devil in a black suit. Am I late? What did I miss?

Just stand next to me, devil-brother. I chuckle softly. You will see.

I sense the presence of many other allies.

"Demons, darklings, allies, shadows... We have gathered here, to Castle Anthrax, on Planet Mars, the planet of the War God, to consecrate this unholy blasphemous castle in the name of Father Gawn! Too long have we tolerated or ignored the oppression, the theft, the lies, the suffering inflicted upon us by those who claim to be illuminated. They hold no higher truth! Their desire is only for power over others. I dedicate this fortress to all those cast aside, all the rejects, all the shadows, all the ones fallen from grace. I hereby declare war on the Templars of URTH, in the name of GAWN!"

(cont'd)

*night before last*

frags

[I]Throughout all these dreams Raven was with me. She looked like a tiny person, about two feet high, with a staff wearing a white robe with a hood hiding her face.[/I]

I am at the same stupid DMV where that nasty ho propositioned me. I am in line. I see a funny little person standing next to me. Weird. I hate the DMV.

***

I am driving down Route 6 on Cape Cod, blabbering on excitedly about Halo 2. There is a funny little person standing on the passenger's seat. I get startled, and crash the car. The car is damaged, but we are okay.

Nomad!

Raven removes her hood. This is a dream!

HUH? I wake up.

***

I am riding on Xaphor's back, my red dragon dream guide. I feel like the kid in Never Ending Story. Raven is flying next to on a broom.

Hey, Nomad. NOMAD! NOMAD, this is a dream.

I know! Want to race?

missing time

We are racing spaceships through wormholes.

( a few days ago)

[I]abridged[/I]

I am standing at the door of my old house in Mass. I am in a clown costume with a big bouquet of flowers. Queen Zukin answers the door. She's in pajamas.

Uh... hello? What?

Hello, young lady. I am Mr. Dream Clown Dude, and I want to give you these dream flowers to let you know you are dreaming. She grabs the flowers, and throws them in the yard, then she kicks me. GET OFF MY PORCH!

But, wait!

NO!

I summon a warthog and ride it. See, I couldn't do this, except we are dreaming.

Then, get out of my dream!

Wouldn't you like to do a Reality Check?

NO!

She throws a frying pan, and some popcorn at me. WAIT WAIT!

I was just having a nice, dream, and you woke me up.

No, see that's called a false aw-

Are you a Jehova's Witness?

No, I am clown riding a pig in your front yard.

I HATE CLOWNS.

I turn into normal-me. Queen Zukin slams the front door. I summon some green eggs and ham, and eat it sullenly. I charge through the front door with the boar. I am chasing Queen Zukin. STOP CHASING ME YOU ASSHOLE. WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I just want to swallow your soul. Just kidding! Just kidding. I just want to let you know this is a dream.

She kicks me again, and I tumble into the backyard.

The pig disappears.

I lie on the ground, bloodied. She comes out.

Jason! Jason! You okay?

I am not Jason.

Oh, you're... Waking Nomad? Is this a dream?

YES!

She looks at her hands. She has 9 wavy fingers, one of which is green. I laugh.

YIKES! she wakes up.

Oh well.