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For some reason, after I removed this Blur Lens from my third eye, my dreams have become increasingly insane. I would not wish this on your soul. It's like the kundalini of my dream body has arisen. I feel energy surging through me in dreams, and sometimes while awake. My body is sore, in part from battling in dreams. I am trying to stop. Maybe I am Tezcatlipoca. Maybe I must battle Quetzy on 12/12/12... Maybe it's all bullshit. All I know is shared dreaming is real, and it's the craziest shit I have ever experienced in my life.

I am not bullshitting you, but if you think I may be lying, please assume I am and read on. You are somehow entertained, are you not? even if you know I am lying, how I draw you in! How do I do this? you ask. Because I know you want to believe shared dreaming is real. If you didn't care, you wouldn't be reading this right now. If you want to find out if it's real, stop asking me to prove it GODDAMMIT. I am not special. You can do it too, but it's not easy. And, it's not always fun. Sometimes, you must walk through the fire to see the truth. But, if you tell yourself it's only a dream, you will feel no pain. If you think it's real, then you will be in Hell. But, don't blame me when you beg me to make you lucid and I manifest as a great red devil-dragon vomiting an army of ghosts.

I look up from the paper, and lick my quill. I am at the desk of Gawn AKA Lucifer when he wrote The Great Heresy into the Bible. I tie a red ribbon around the paper, and shoot spitwads out to all the internets with lucid dreaming in it lol. I torch the letter, and stand up.

I am against a background of green fire, only, it's an orange fire. I am a devil-man. I laugh uproariously at my demonic manifestation, as in waking life people say I look like Jesus. Apparently, my mother doesn't like it. Wait? Who is that woman with the apron? I see her as fifteen different women. It's confusing. One looks really sexy. I keep staring at that one, but one looks like my mom, okay, now I want to vomit. It's the Russian Dreamhacker.

She morphs into one, and slaps my face. "Such a simple psychological ruse. You already lose the first round of our battle, you little cat mouse pig."

She morphs into a sexy chick with a cartoon mouse face. I am simultaneously repulsed and attracted.

ROUND 2: LILA

"Wait Q? What the hell? When did this start?"

Lila runs up to me exuberantly, with a sweet smile on her face, and kisses me. I feel her suck the energy out of me. I push her away in anger.

ROUND 3: LILA. Hmm.. Ya just got SKUNKED NOMAD.

Thanks. I see that. Rub it in, why don't ya?

Nomad... got skunked... by a succubus, oh yeah, he sucks, no she does, he thought he was a vampire, but he sucks, oh yeah...

DUDE SHUT UP!!!

I lunge to Lila, and pull her into me, as I transform into my vampire self. I kiss her passionately on the mouth, and I pull her energy into me... it's like wine... no... like... absinthe...

This is not just me stealing energy... it's some kind of... dark communion...

I allow her to bite me on the neck, and drain my dark energy...

I feel balanced. I have one eye that is my normal human color, and the other is red and black. We stare into each others eyes. Telepathic communication... I see it all.

She's an alien...a walk-in... She walked into a dying woman's body... Dying... of a poison, an assassin herself... her residual energy is there still.. a rakshasa...

We were together in Atlantis... as some kind of canine creatures... like Tasmanian wolves... now extinct..

Suddenly... I am hurtling through a vortex.....

I realize the invisible woman is Selene.

I am always with you, my love, in every dimension, a part of me is with you, and a part of you is always with me. Two hundred years in the future to the beginningless past, I am with you.

I feel her cuddle next to me, then I begin to see her as the sun sets, and the moon comes out.

"Didn't you know I am invisible in sunlight? well, direct sunlight," she giggles.

I stare into her large dark eyes. "You look just like..."

"Sh... it doesn't matter. I am me, a sentient being..."

I feel our energies merge together, and we have a conversation deep beyond words. The meanings are emotions and thoughts, primal and universal. I feel like the earth loving the moon.

don Juan and I are sitting in the Sonoran desert on a plain. He is packing a long wooden pipe.

"Diviner's sage," he grins at me.

"I don't need that shit."

"Oh, but in dreams you do."

A rattle snake crawls on to his lap, and flicks its tongue at me in curiosity.

"You're a fucker, you weird interdimensional shaman thought form thing whatever the fuck you are!"

He takes a hit of the salvia, and hands it to me. The pipe is four feet long. How did he light it? He smirks and lights it for me. I take a long draw. It tastes like white sage.

I scream as I fall into a white mothy abyss. Particles of grey shoot through my pores as I fall sideways into a maddening hell of intersecting eyes, like a TOOL video.

I am suddenly back in the desert. I impulsively slap don Juan's face. He is about to slap me, but I stop as I stare at my bloody hand full of glass. Apparently I just smashed a mirror. The pieces are one the ground now, squirming into it, trying to hide from me. I desperately try to lick them up. I get a few before they disappear into the dry desert soil.

They taste like magical rice candy as the pieces dissolve in my mouth. I lay on my back, and drink wine from an invisible glass poured by a sexy invisible woman. I feel her breath on the back of my neck even though I am lying on my back.

I am semi-lucid.

I am sitting at my computer. It's on fire. Everything is on fire. I am not afraid at this point, but I could be.

The fire stays within the tower.

I am sitting down at a wooden desk in a field of wildflowers on a mountain somewhere in Europe. I am writing a letter with a quill:

I am looking for people willing to delve deep into oneiromancy with me, to hack into this dream matrix.

Everything is illusion, everything is real. Life is dream, dream is life.

This is a team of superheroes, of fantasy heroes, of sci-fi heroes, of everyday heroes. We are whatever we want to be. We are Dream Warriors. I am on a quest for the truth. I seek to see through illusion always.

You will endure frustration and pain, and look at your dark side in the mirror.

I magically make copies of it, and seal them in envelopes with a wax seal, and press my signet into them. I send them all over the world on the wind, to tribal peoples, to secret government agencies, to lucid dreamers, remote viewers, and astral projectors.

Five people appear before me. One of them looks somewhat solid, but all are flickering holograms. The solid one is a woman RV'er that I recognize from the pocket dimension.

She shakes my hand, placing a small spiked object in it.

I wake up on the Moon.

I am on a strange boat made of wood and bone.

I am sailing through dreams with the god of the dead... Morpheus...

WTF is going on?

Listen, Nomad, everything you were ever taught is a lie. Nothing is true. Everything is possible. You are the god of dreams, of death, of nothing. You are Nothing Incarnate, and everything simultaneously, for every point in the infinite multiverse is connected to every other point through a line. Everything that exists, and everything that does not exist is all part of one big thing, which is All.

Stones fly through the sky and smash our weird ship. The dream wiggles and changes.

I attack this god thing, leaping upon his chest, and biting into his skull. I chew a piece of it, and swallow. I start coughing, then I have an acid trip. It's like a TOOL video made by Alex Grey.

I slap my head.

I am in Hollow Earth, having a picnic with Raven, Sylvia, Angel, Selene, MoSh, and Asuka....

I am so confused.

A hole opens beneath me, and I fall in. I clamber at the sides, then I just surrender...

I wake up and stretch. I am at the house I lived in in Aina Haina, the weird A-frame...

I was 14 at the time. For some reason, I go outside and check the mail.

It's a letter addressed to me, the return address is a date 200 years in the future, and it says, "UFRUMTEHFUTUREE".

I open the letter, and it sails out of the envelope. I chase it, but it lands, and becomes a 2D image standing in front of me. It looks something like an origami robot hologram in the shape of adult me, but the hair looks ridiculously styled.

The hologram opens his chest, and images appear like a movie. I am drawn into it. I feel like I am falling into a graphic novel. I am three inches high standing on an open comic book on a desk in a boy’s room. The boy walks in with a backpack, and sees me. He stops and his eyes widen.

He lunges to grab me, but i jump into the comic book.

I am in a concrete underground city. I scream in terror. I feel claustrophobic. Where is the sky. A man appears next to me. He looks like me, and also like Timelyst Knight my android Future Self. “I am not you from the future. I am your True Self, and You are now Here.”

“What the fuck do you mean?”

“This is where you are from. This is where your Real Body is. You are sleeping in an underground bunker 200 years in the future in the bowels of Oahu.”

“Alright Morpheus, cut the bullshit.”

An astral tentacle extends from his third eye to mine, and he downloads information not in words, but images. I see myself born as a faun with lion claws on my hands. I have a lion-ish face, with a big goattee. I am born to two parents who look pure human. My mother sets me in a dumpster. Two mutants come by and rescue me right before the trash truck robot comes.

I grow up in the slums with other mutants. Humanity is enslaved. Most people are now chimeras, a mix of animals and humans, but the pure humans rule everyone else. The world is all concrete underground prison cities.

A shaman sees me dreaming power, and trains me.

The mutant government asks me to be part of their secret program, what could possibly be a one-way trip. They describe their program to me. They have discovered time travel. They have learned that the soul can travel through time while dreaming or while the mind meditates. But, the soul can never be made physically manifest in another time, until now. They have been experimenting with hibernating people for extended periods of time to increase their dreaming power. These oneironauts have been sleeping for days and weeks on end, lucid dreaming for weeks of real life time.

Then, they hibernated three brave souls for a year. Their goal: soul insertion. These oneironauts would try to somehow insert a portion of their energy into an embryo in a human womb in order to physically manifest in the past.

The people in this time can communicate with the sleepers, because they all talk in their sleep, which is mainly a stream-of-consciousness.

All the people were apparently able to do this soul insertion, but their manifestations in the past all died when the people awoke. When they were put back to sleep, their past manifestations were ghosts looking at their own dead body. All the past manifestations were ten years old. After the people woke up from this, they were all so traumatized they went insane.

We hibernated three more people for two years. One past manifestation died before the two years and the person awoke screaming. They screamed until they were hoarse. Then they cried for two weeks. Then, she killed herself in the town square. The others’ past manifestations died when they were twenty.

The two people awoke. They were extremely depressed. One slipped into catatonia. The other spoke for awhile about his experience, but he was frustrated that he could never remember his mission in the past timeline: to warn the people of this nightmare future that they may avoid it. He said we wasted two years of his life, but at the same time, he was grateful to be able to have lived another life, and see the beauty of nature, and the sun, and water. He has become a recluse and incessantly draws pictures of trees all over the city.

We realized that for some reason one year of hibernation equals one year of past physical manifestation. In order to have the person remember their mission after the trauma of soul insertion, they must live longer, and in order to come back with a peaceful and sound mind, the person’s past manifestation must live a long full life.

So, we asked you to hibernate for ten years. You accepted. Your present manifestation is always on the brink of death. It’s not easy to keep someone alive and healthy yet asleep for a decade. There is always the threat of civil war, earthquakes, flooding, fire, fallout. We are fucked. Travelers from the future have already warned us of a nuclear power plant failing in seven years from now. We all live underground. There is no way to go but the surface, but the way is heavily guarded. Most people don’t even believe the surface exists. They think it’s a myth. Plus, there are millions of us now in here.

We are planning to escape. But, because we have the technology and magic to time travel, we are taking a multi-pronged approach to tackle this problem. Our species is about to make itself extinct. Maybe we deserve it. But, I don’t want to die, and neither do you. We are doing everything we can on this end to keep your original physical body alive and well. If you die before a hundred, you will wake up here, and report to us your findings from your lifetime 200 years in the past.

He lets go of the astral tentacle.

My eyes are bugging out of my head. We are standing on a busy street now. Everyone around me is a chimera of some sort.

“Would you like to see your real body?”

I nod slowly.

We teleport to a room with a large tank in the center. My body is floating in a clear green gel.

“This simulates a womb. The gel is like amniotic fluid, but thicker. It offers you resistance so your muscles don’t atrophy.”

There are people in lab coats milling about. My face, anus, and urethra are hooked up to hoses.

“You have trained yourself to eat in your sleep. If all works out, your body will come out perfectly healthy, but ten years older.”

“This is not real.”

“This,” he points at me, “is a dream.” He points at himself, “this is a dream.”

“But, all this, Nomad,” he gestures to the world around us, “this, is real.”

I suddenly realize everything he says it’s true. I feel like it’s just me talking to myself. I fall over and vomit. I feel like my mind is being ripped apart. I scream and claw at my face. My future self beams positive energy over me, and I go into a meditative state. I am now watching the scene as if I am ghost watching my life. My future self looks at me and gives me a thumbs up.

I jump back in my body, and stand up. I inhale deeply the nothing dream air. My future self grabs my hand, and opens a portal. He grabs my hand, and we go sailing through dreams.

I was in a very long vivid HH state deliberately. I was dancing on the edge of sleep.

A woman came to me. She is a remote viewer on our side hiding in a pocket dimension. To access it, the code word is: Ohio Stain.

This is what she told me.

It was so vivid, I simply accepted the reality of it upon waking.

They will train us in the ways of walking the fine line between waking and sleeping.

NOTES

Raven and I meet on the Moon. We are so somber, we don't speak.

She slowly walks to me, and gives me a hug. I start crying.

"I am so worried about Sachi and her family. All of Japan... the whole world is going to shit..." I tell her.

"Let's do the only thing we can, Nomad." I nod.

She opens a portal to Fukushima. Q, Washu, Janet, Q10, and Xaphor follow.

We stand in the middle of the fifty men on a suicide mission, and connect them to the higher entities.

These men look like demon samurai.

They are leaping into a strange glowing hellish orb.

"May these true heroes find the best possible solution, I pray to the sentient entities."

I feel strange knowledge being channeled through my arms like power.

I scream in frustration.

"We've done everything we can," says Xaphor. Time to go.

NO NO WE HAVE TO HELP PEOPLE FIND THE SURVIVORS, WE HAVE TO HELP FIND THE BODIES. THEY ARE GOING TO ROT AND MAKE PEOPLE SICK.

Raven vomits at this thought.

"You okay."

"Yeah... let's go."

I open a portal into the dreams of the rescue workers trying to dig people out, and search for survivors in broken buildings...

I am in thousand of nightmares at once. I feel like my soul is on fire. I feel like I am dying. I feel like I am in hell, and I will be in hell forever.

I SCREAM IN SHEER TERROR.

I know nothing. No thought or emotion. Only pure terror is left.

I feel someone tackle me into a portal....

I end up in the Healing Glen.... Raven is next to me....

We are puking dark energy...

I feel Xaphor and the presence of others healing us.

I cry myself to sleep in the Healing Glen. I fee the Frost Giant pick me up as if I am a small child, and set me down in his cave.

I float up out of my bed. I see a bunch of demons around me. They look benevolent. hmmm..

I walk to the mirror, and see my demon face in it. I laugh. He reaches through and grabs me. I am yanked into another dream... a Colloseum in Hell.

I battle my demon self, and kick his ass, then I absorb him.

I go to the Hades where Raven, Angel, and I (one more person, I forgot who) are rulers of it.

I make the templars pick more flowers for a hellish bouquet of DOOM.

Raven reminds me we are supposed to go see the Big Guy.

We go, he says I am infected.

We do healing in the Glen.

A bunch of red and dark energy parasites squirm out, and are eaten by lizards and toads.

NOTES

Dark Vegeta.

On the Moon.

Raven passes out, and gets kidnaped by an imp to a pocket dimension. Xaphor and a Wyrm called ViRUS help me.

We go down the wormhole.

Raven is tied to a board, and is being carried by a procession of goblins to a sacrificial stone on a hill. A battle ensues.

I make my symbiote merge with my energy shield to absorb the attacks as I protect Raven. I teleport she and I away to the Healing Glen in Arctica.

The Frost Giant says her aura is infected. Another version of Raven appears and plays music. She's an angelic version.

***

abridged

I am in New Eden with Raven. She looks fucking real. In fact everything does. Not just vivid. FUCKING REAL. IT'S BLOWING MY FUCKING MIND.

I listen to Raven's heartbeat of her dream body. It sounds like a heartbeat... with music. I look at Raven's face. She looks fucking real.

I roll around on the grass, and lick it.

Raven: what are you doing, Nomad?

IT'S FUCKING REAL IT'S FUCKING REAL EVERYTHING IS REAL HYU IS RIGHT HOLY SHIT!

I laugh and cry. The emotion I feel I have never felt in waking life. It's a dream emotion. The best way I can describe it is: wonder, amazement, madness, grief and SHEER FUCKING TERROR.

I roll around, and the dream wraps around me like a salvia trip. I am falling through a psychedelic wormhole.

Somehow the music I am listening to right now as I write this DJ is playing in my FUCKING DREAM.

I turn into a large rakshasa and land in the Outback.

I run through dreams, kicking ass and taking names.

NOTES

Raven and I meet on the Moon. She asks if she can come to Hawaii.

We go into the astral plane of Hawaii, then the dream plane.

We go swimming underwater with the animals.

We swim in lava. I am terrified, but Raven doesn't seem to mind. We can see through it.

***

MoSh and I are walking on a sidewalk talking about dreams. He is kicking a can. I pick it up and throw it away. He gets mad.

We morph into a naga and jaguar and battle. the sidewalk becomes the Amazon.

***

Selene and I are sitting on the Mountain near the tranquil pool where Angel and I used to sit. Selene and I are watching the earth rise. I feel Angel watching us from behind. She realizes I am aware of her. She quietly sits down next to Selene, and we watch the earth rise together in silence. Then, the sun rises. I look at Angel. Her face looks so crisp and real. She looks melancholy yet serene. She fades away. Just Selene and I remain.

We stand up, and embrace. The Biodome is no longer a dome. The Biodome is New Eden.

I feel Selene so real and close to me. I feel a strange steady individual love, one that is unique and knowable only to her and me. I caress her thick black hair. She rest her head in the crook of my neck, and we close our eyes, yet I can see in now a different way.

We kiss, and her lips feel perfectly real.

I open my eyes, and look into her magnificent dark brown almost black eyes in her pale face. I examine every detail. I don't want to forget.

"This is real."

"Yes," she whispers.

"This is my real life.
The other one is a passing dream.
While we are living the other
this one seems a dream."

"You remember!" she softly smiles and a tear rolls down her cheek. "You taught me that when we were children."

"Who wrote it?"

"You did, Nomad. You wrote in a past life in France, so we would always remember each other, so you would always remember how real you are, and how real I am."

NO FUCKING RECALL DUE TO BEING INCREDIBLY BUSY.

my life is dream

I leap out of bed. Enemies are surrounding me in a circle. Cyborg astral demons. “I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR, SHIT, FUCKERS!”

We all attack simultaneously. I stop time. I shoot astral tentacles at them, and rip their evil cyborg hearts out, and pull their armor and weapons on to me. I let go of time. The lasers bounce off my new cyborg armor. I look out the window. It’s a lush jungle. Where the fuck am I?

Holy shit. I am on the Moon, in the City of Nowhere. Fuck this mayor shit. Here I am King and God. I fly though the roof of the pyramid I am in, and hover above the city.

Citizens and denizens of Nowhere, I now proclaim myself King of Nowhere, as I am God of Nothing, makes sense right... haha.

Something tackles me into a portal. I battle with this creature, a croc-man. Soulgawn? Father? NO! He slams his fist into my jaw, breaking it. Your uncle, his evil twin, nephew. He bites down on my neck in face. I scream in terror, then I transform into a swarm of flesh eating beetles and crawl into his gut, eating him from the inside out. He roars in pain, and rips me from his stomach, flinging me into another portal.

****

I heal myself, and Pixy heals me in the strange dark wormhole, before I land at MoSh’s house. No, it’s my house. MoSh is crying uncontrollably. I am stunned.

He looks up at me. “It’s Asuka, she’s dead.”

He looks so real. Suddenly, the dream is torn. I see Xaphor’s face. ‘NONE OF THIS IS REAL!”
We are in a war zone in a city. Xaphor grabs my wrist and teleports us to a high bell tower. We have to keep going up and out, he says. He lines up about fifteen portals.

“Now, keep track of my energy. Summon Jo. It’s going to be a wild ride.”

I summon my astral pet, Jo. He becomes a giant war pig with armor, and machine guns on his tusks, and rockets on his side. “Hold on,” Jo growls.

Xaphor turns quickly and blasts green goo at the oncoming enemies. We fly through many portals, and many dreams. We land on the Moon... no we are on the Moon? I am blind! Images?

I can see! Xaphor rips off a virtual reality helmet and smashes it. “Interesting invention, but it got infected. I told you not to fuck around with VR in a dream, Nomad. It’s too confusing. Let’s go find MoSh.

We go to BanyanLand. MoSh and Asuka are there, but wait he’s with Selene? No. None of them are real. Xaphor scans me. “Dammit, you have bugs infesting your dream body projecting illusions in front of you. Hold on. Xaphor turns into a ladybug like creature, and runs around in my dream body, eating all the bugs.”

Now I can really see!

I teleport to MoSh. We are in BanYanLand high up in a tree room. He is cooking breakfast. Selene and Asuka are sitting there. There are two children playing. Raven is outside talking to Basara and Link.

“Everything okay?” I ask.

‘Yeah,” MoSh says, “I think so.” He serves us breakfast. I see everyone in the room as different flaws in their auras. We eat. Everyone’s energy improves. Asuka gives everyone cookies and ice cream.

I suggest relaxing and enjoying the view instead of going to the healing glen. I trust the ambient energy of the nature will heal us. Raven starts humming quietly. We all hum and sing. It’s sounds beautiful. I realize Basara is somehow leading us.

I go to sleep.