• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

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    Lucid Dreams

    1. 3,453 words - selected parts in bold

      by , 05-30-2018 at 02:00 PM
      Today I'm closing the computer a little later, at 8:30 P M. Just want to note that.


      I had one round of dreams that was RBFA. I did end up recalling a good amount at the time but could only re-remember certain parts.

      I think I remembered M R, G F and N H in these.

      One part was of a fight. Someone flying with jet packs. Some kind of red sugary drink powder.

      At the end there was an Italian guy waiting tables and he was talking to a giant bottle of red wine.

      I woke up from those and recalled a good amount, even with the fan on. Recall was going so well I considered making some voice notes, but I was unwilling to get up and write. So I fell back asleep. Again, balance is important, so I'm not mad about it. But when I have the energy I will write them.


      Round 2 of dreams was different. I didn't RBFA (Here I am writing it now) but when I woke up, I couldn't latch on to a detail and start remembering, right away, or as soon as I'd like to. It took me a while and then I realized they had been a very long series of dreams. So here is what I got.

      I remember S S, G S and N S in one part. I was with S S and we were going to his house. I had to take out my retainer or put in my retainer before talking to them. It was a detailed part but I only remember it vaguely.

      I remember being in convertibles with some friends in a parking lot. And we were weight lifting. We had weights in the car. I forgot if we did a variety of workouts but I know I did a back workout. Afterwards, I was moving my shoulder blades, and realizing I shouldn't do any back workouts for a few days, so that I would recover the energy I'd used. One of the guys there said something about working out which I forgot.

      Then I remember driving around by the local intermediate school. I wanted to pull in to the parking lot by the big field. It was totally empty, no one was there. Still, I was afraid I wasn't allowed to, like it was just for people who currently went to school there.

      Something happened and I thought I had done something wrong. I remember Ms. M (math teacher) saying that it wasn't me who had done anything wrong. It was something else at the same time. Well, that was a relief.

      I remember this demonstration with a pyramid thing. It was more surreal at this point. The pyramid had several symbols on it. There was a guy doing a demonstration of how the pyramid could shoot streams of fire and ice. Or lava and ice. But he also said frozen lava and burning ice. The red and blue streams twisted around each other in a show. There was a girl who was afraid to go into the pyramid because she imagined a corpse would be in the first chamber to the right. It showed an outline from the outside of what she thought might be there.

      I remember sitting out by the school and talking on the phone with my friend M, from FL. We were taking turns talking. He was saying something and as I listened, I thought, "This is great to be talking to M again at the end of each day." Then a really loud helicopter went overhead. I was so annoyed at how low it was flying. But it was also spinning around and around very fast. Not just the chopper blades but the actual body of the helicopter was spinning. This seemed different to me but with dream logic, I explained to myself how that always happened.

      Then M and I were on the plane. We found out how to de-stabilize it because there was a frozen bottle of soda. In the dream, soda couldn't freeze, so a frozen bottle of soda became highly pressurized, like tanks of liquid oxygen. So we were playing with that, knowing it could mess up the plane, because we were mad at the plane.

      Then, my Dad and even N F and other family members were all trying to get me to come talk to them. But I just walked right past, glad to escape their clutches. However, my sister got caught by them. She got away again, and morphed into protein powder, and hid in a tupperware, mixed into some water. My Dad could easily find her because she was with her friend A and that's the only place she would go. So he was able to poke a hole in the tupperware and get her out or something like that.

      Maybe some more things happened. The last thing I remember is being on the computer and receiving an e-mail from my friend K. She had sent me a list of affirmations, saying that she sometimes had a busy mind and would use the affirmations. They had to do with all categories of life, but one was something like, "My room is clean and peaceful." After I read that, I looked up from my computer and looked around my room. Nothing seemed different from waking life to me (Not that I was actively checking) but I don't remember exactly what I saw. I was just looking at my room and thinking of the affirmation. Also, my chair was in a similar spot as it was in waking life.

      So, that was fine to recall all that. I kind of wish I'd recalled more, because I got a little burst of energy while recalling those and could have gone on typing. Another thing that I think limited my recall a little this time was the fan's noise. But I had no clue there had been so many dreams in round 2, so I didn't even know what to look for, until one of the memories reminded me. I remembered thinking of how many dreams there had been. I think I also remember kids in my Nana's back yard, but not sure.

      So, back to bed now. I think my word count will be down a bit based on letting myself RBFA. But I am just trying to listen to my energy levels and find balance.


      I slept some more, and had a cool dream chain thing. The first few dreams I did another RBFA, partly because there weren't that many dreams. When I fell back asleep I found myself in a long dream and had some lucidity. Plus, very vivid.

      I remember being in my Nana's den with O A, C V and A R.

      My dad came down and started to pin each person on the couch for no reason. I wanted to stop him but he was kind of bullying my friends and he was too big for me to stop. So, I tried to escape before he could bully me, too. On the way out, I remember running as fast as I could. I grabbed a serrated steak knife in case I needed to defend myself. It was my best option. I remember crawling beneath the windows outside Nana's living room. The lights were on in there, and I was afraid they'd see me, but I got away towards the road. I don't remember what else happened after that.

      I think that was all I remembered from that time of sleep. Then I did the RBFA and had more dreams.

      My earliest memory of these took place in a class room, but it was a lot of dreams. I remember there was a guy at the chalk board with some kind of mask. He asked me something about a church, which bothered me, but I decided to be nice to him because I thought I knew him long ago, when he was different. I forgot what else happened in that part.

      Maybe there was some kind of class room I had got into where all these women were having an art competition. It is too vague to fully recall it. I think it involved my mom.

      I also remember something in the fridge that was maybe my sister's.

      Now I clearly remember walking with my Mom, and holding her hand. I think at first we had our fingers clasped but I started to worry that someone would think she was my girlfriend. So I wondered if it was okay to hold my mom's hand. It was because she was having trouble walking or balancing. So it made sense to me. I just held her hand the other way, without fingers clasped. That seemed to be the better way to do it.

      We got to a square of pavement with a puddle in front. I would have jumped the puddle but I realized my mom couldn't so I looked for another way around. Then we had to go back up to a platform but there were no steps. I helped my mom up a ladder thing that was like light yellow in color. Then we watched the bridge to my town open up. A red truck had segments dangling down from the bridge which seemed different to me. I guess they opened the bridge before the truck made it all the way over. But dream logic said the truck would just finish driving itself fully to one side. There were some little kids swimming in the water underneath. It got my attention but again I just figured that's what kids do. They had floaties on.

      Then my Mom and I walked somewhere. I think it shifted to where we were at her friend C's house. (I think J L was in the previous dream on the plane.) I forgot all that happened, maybe something about someone's food in the fridge? Actually, I think I was eating steak. I've been vegan for almost 2 years and I knew this in the dream but I figured I'd just eat the steak one time. I wasn't lucid yet. There was something about my sister having certain food in the fridge that wasn't for me.

      Anyway I remember standing with my mom in one upstairs place and looking down at the back yard. There was a beautiful rectangular in-ground pool. The color was sea green but it looked intentional. not like it had got full of algae but that they meant for it to look that way. I went to point it out to my Mom. She said, "Yeah, this is the home of the wealthiest 40-head." I was like, "40-head? Who?" And she said it was her friend C. It made sense since her friend C always seemed like she had alcoholism or addiction issues. I think there was also stuff involving my mom's friend J from upstate that I can't remember.

      But then I looked again at the pool and it was a square garden of green leaves. This caught my attention. I knew there was just a pool there moments ago. So I told my Mom, "You know, sometimes things can just change from one to another around here. It's like we're in a dream!" I knew for sure it was a dream but when I heard myself say that I realized I was just giving my mom a hint, not directly saying it. She asked me more about dreams. "Do you keep a dream journal?" I think she asked. I got really excited because it just felt fun and maybe I'd teach my mom to lucid dream. I casually answered while looking at a little yellowish spider thing on a web. I was trying to see what its shape was. "I write down all my dreams! You know, just last night, I was dreaming about..." and then I think the dream shifted.

      I'm not sure the exact order, but there was this part where sponge-bob was trying to get the world record for bathing in some really gross liquid. It was like some kind of burning liquid with lye, or some kind of vomit stuff. Eventually something happened and it drained out of the tub. I thought he'd be upset that he didn't get to the world record. But I also didn't want to see him keep suffering. I think I was still lucid for this part, looking at the different characters and thinking of how to draw them later. Also I remember examining some of the brown gunk before the scene changed.

      Next I remember being in some kind of weight room. Some athletes were in there, training. It reminded me of my high school weight room, maybe with a different hall way leading up to it. I was lucid. I got all my energy in my head and tried to blast myself like a rocket, accross the room. Just to try it. And it worked, I flew over there at rocket speed. One of the football players asked me how I did it, and I pointed to my skull. (Saying it was from brain power.) Then, I tried to do it again. Aiming to teleport or fly super fast over to another weight machine and lift the whole thing. But I couldn't get it to work.

      There was something about a custody battle with some people's kids. I don't remember as much of it.

      Somehow I got to the arboretum and I was lucid. Coming down the trail along the pond, from where the baby snake was. (Waking life reference.) As I got to the parking lot area, I noticed Eckhart Tolle's voice was playing. 'Wow, my dream is doing Eckhart Tolle,' I think I thought. (I forgot what happened up until then, if there was anything.) I walked by some green plants and over some green plants growing in the middle of the trail. Eckhart Tolle's voice was saying, "It is possible to hide some feelings, it is possible to hide with..." And then he did one of those long pauses. I was thinking of how gentle and non-accusatory his voice sounded. Just very objective and calm. I thought the audio had ended, he paused so long. But he continued, "...thoughts." (So he said hide with thoughts. And I think he meant that it was possible to think thoughts in my head quietly without telling anyone what they were.)

      I was going to try to indulge in something but caught myself. I had set a goal to do something more constructive. So the first thing that came to mind was "Run!" So I ran and breathed deeply. It felt really good to run in the dream. I remember feeling my lungs expand. In waking life there is a lot of impact, so I can't really run, because the impact hurts. (I am only 5'10 160lbs but it hurts.) But in the dream I could run. Then I noticed the pond, like in waking life. In waking life its not really for swimming. More of a shallow duck pond with mirky water. but because I was lucid, and I knew it was a dream, I dove in to swim! It's been ages since I swam in a dream. The arm movements felt weird because I was dreaming that my body pillow was stuck to my chest. I switched to a back stroke and tried to look up at the sky, but there didn't seem to be a sky.

      After swimming out a little far I realized that I was in the water. And there could be scary fish! So I hurried up and swam to shore. Now instead of a hill, there was a squared-off level kind of like a Mario world. So I pulled myself up the ladder.

      Sure enough it was like a bedroom, a mario level thing, and then I could see a town of white mushroom-shaped buildings off in the distance. The town looked inviting and I wanted to run to the edge of the cliff and fly down to it. Then I looked into the open bedroom part and saw Jingles, my sister's cat. An orange cat. It was light orange with slightly darker orange striped. They had to give it away when they moved upstate.

      I tried to summon my sister so that she could re-unite with her cat. Around that time, a rainbow-striped cat appeared.

      The rainbow cat became a dark blue cat and seemed to be an adversary. It was scary so I escaped.

      I thought I had woken up but it was actually a red and orange map showing some houses. I had a mouse pointer and I noticed that the dream hadn't ended. I could click on one of the houses. There was one near the bottom left that lit up when I hovered the mouse cursor over it. That would be the one I'd click on.

      I forgot if it took me anywhere else. Eventually I woke up and thought them through. But had a false awakening. (An RBFA-FA!)

      In the false awakening I knew it was Wednesday morning (like in waking life) and that W A would be soon. When I checked my phone, it looked like it was already 8:10 A M! So I had missed the first 40 minutes. But the moderator, one of the women from the group, was just welcoming new people. So apparently the phone was an hour ahead and it was only 7:10 A M, and they were just welcoming new people who had arrived early. 'Well, thats nice,' i thought. My plan was to hook up the meeting to record it so I could do my dream recall.

      As I tried to hook up the phone to record I realized my dream memory was slipping away. Putting on the phone is not something I'd do until I'd at least recalled my dream fully, in a solid way, even if I hadn't recorded it yet. But then I wanted someone's contact information - One of the guys from the custody battle in the earlier part - So I could support them in winning custody. I forgot why, maybe the mom was worse. Or he was my friend.

      I got his contact information and it was a video chat thing. He looked angry. He had light brown/blonde hair. And was saying, "Learn to talk back!" In a rapper voice. I realized all this was delaying my dream recall, but I felt it was my only chance. I got to a point where I could stop on the phone and go to dream recall.

      I also remember the location shifted from my room, with the recorder under my bed, so the woods near the local library. Specifically near the tree where it goes toward someones back yard. And the blue houses.

      Then I woke up physically again and was really relieved that I hadn't really gotten up and disrupted my dream recall by going on the phone. I recalled what I could of the dreams. It seemed blurry in some areas, but still pretty good. I was happy with the lucidity and the eventfulness.

      I will try to sleep once more since its still pretty early. it's only a little past 6 A M.


      Well, I didn't get back to sleep. It was probably enough sleep. Trying to dial into W A woke me up too much.

      I just remembered kinda randomly that I dreamed of Pokemon Mystery Dungeon. First it was another kind of more complex game but then it was just Pokemon Mystery Dungeon. I can't remember if that was this night or a previous night.
    2. 4,226 Words - selected parts in bold

      by , 05-28-2018 at 04:49 PM
      7:44 pm closing computer for bed.
      4226 words


      12:45 AM: So this has been my usual sleep, about 4 hours so far. And I had some dreams. Earlier dreams involved N H and M R. I forgot what. then there was something about G F and K F and how it was after school. And how we could go to a pool. I wanted to go swim but was worried I hadn't eaten enough. We talked about going for a swim then eating after.

      There was more stuff I forgot. But one was about being in this water slide thing. And there were apples or slices of pizza or some food. Some of it belonged to each individual. I think I was passing some peoples apples or whatever food it was to them.

      Then I remember it being something about a gym. There were a list of pod casts, one being about something, sleep, and something else, and many other podcasts. There may have been some weight lifting component. I remember some toys J G was trying to sell. He was very push and didn't let the other sales person talk. One was a Tigger robot kind of toy. I forgot the other. But I remember the big shelf of toys.

      There might have been a Pokemon game earlier now that I think of it. Not sure.

      Anyway after that, I remember a monopoly card hanging on the wall. Like the poster board ones that indicate each property a person could own. These had red in their color on the top and I think they said "CIRCUMCISION HURTS". However they might have said something else about circumcision. Anyway, I felt triggered, and said to the sales people about how circumcision (MGM) was bad.

      One of the sales people (not J G) said something mean to me. And some other mean things to me. Both him and J G tried to minimize the harms of MGM and I was initially angry. But then I realized that their insults to me were not hurting my feelings one bit. It was really amazing. I told them, "You, know it's amazing. Its like your insults are not even touching me." I didn't know it was a dream either, so it was really phenomenal. "It's like I'm doing such important work here (intactivism) that your mean words can't touch me."

      After that the insults ended, and it kind of shifted. B D was there coloring. I had a piece of paper and wanted to color with silver and gold colored pencils. My seat was at the head of the table. B D was to my left. Someone else was to my right. There wasn't a lot of room in front of my seat.

      Eventually, P S and maybe another woman came by, and wanted to sit down. There were two chairs and we wondered which to put at the head of the table, for the woman to sit down. (I seemed to be giving up my seat.) So P S told us that the one chair was more comfortable and we should use that. But I realized he was saying that so that we could use the less comfortable chair! And leave the comfortable one for him. Ha! One chair had cushioned arm rest things. They both had some padding. I was also thinking of folding my paper so that it fit in a tiny spot of table between B D and the other person's binder.

      I remember something about a spiritual teacher. A woman like M or R (thin, middle-aged, greyish blonde hair, short in stature) was saying how she listened to a spiritual teacher (someone like Eckhart Tolle) and he said she would have to go to work and actually work all day. Not have any side conversations. Not be distracted on the computer, social media, etc. Just work. This idea seemed preposterous and she laughed with everyone else.

      (I just remembered a cat. Maybe there was a cat at some point in the dreams.)

      Then I was putting contacts into my phone. I was going to write "Good Guy 1", "Good Guy 2", etc. Because it was for a team. One was R K. I might have been thinking of just putting a number as their name, like, "1", "2", "3", etc. But what if someone checked how I input them? It would seem too impersonal. I remember the back space key being in a random spot on the 3rd page of characters and I had to scroll to that.

      Then there was something with me in front of a box. And something about how a formal was coming up soon. I was looking through this box. Maybe there was a mirror, and other stuff. C P and G W seemed to be hovering around me. It occurred to me that they must be hoping I ask them out as a date to the formal. I didn't really want to go with either of them, since I wasn't that attracted to them, and I was just going to go alone. But I tried to be nice. And had to get changed.

      I went home, which was instant, I don't remember traveling. There were all these shelves of old books. I realized that everyone there would have smart phones with internet, so there was no need for me to bring a little hand held dictionary. It said something with the word "toe" on the cover which I would have felt embarrassed about if I'd brought it. The cover was kind of tattered.

      I was wearing gym shorts and a regular T-shirt. Not sure what I'd wear for the formal. Dad came in and I got an uncomfortable vibe. He had on a white button down shirt and khaki pants. He told me about how he asked a college counselor to give him the good schools to go to. And how he wouldn't settle for certain schools, listing them off with disregard. He eventually named the school he did go to and his accomplishments very pridefully. I sat in an armchair, sinking into it as I thought of what to wear. Maybe a button down shirt like Dad's. I was slowly realizing I couldn't go to a formal in gym shorts and a T shirt.

      Dad's speech reached a peak. "I worked and worked and worked and gave money to you, your mom, your sister, your mom, your mom, your sister, your sister, you, your mom, you, you, and now, you have no time for me!" And he was adjusting his pants which had become puffy camoflauge-designed canvas material kind of pants. "Now I'd like you to get your fist out of my face!" He said, breaking into tears. He had one hand in the air, open, but clenched in a way, like he was rock climbing, with no rock there. Right after he said that, I found myself in my physical bed (woke up) surprised that I wouldn't make it to the formal.

      It was such an intense ending that I woke right up and recalled it so vividly. Now that I've written it all, I will go back to bed. I have some R L S so I will do some exercises for that and hopefully get back to sleep shortly.


      4:54 A M: I definitely slept a couple hours there and had a lot of RBFA. But I have a lot of the dream memories in mind, so I'll write them.

      First, I remember walking around the neighborhood. I had in mind one of those blocks to drive the car up on to for changing the oil. The triangular ramp things. A grey one. I couldn't find it, but there was a spoiler thing built into this Scion kind of car that came off and might look like one. I went to remove it and noticed a bunch of dark colored pick-up trucks. 'Okay, maybe I'll leave it,' I thought. (I think)

      Then I was on a school bus. I don't remember everything that happened but I am pretty sure that I had the grey ramp thing, a back pack, and some other stuff. The bus driver got mad at me because when my stop came, I couldn't get off the bus. I was still looking for my stuff. but the bus driver was mad and they just drove away from my stop without giving me the time.

      I had fallen asleep by trying to use the counting method but I don't remember getting past 70 or so. Oh, I think I had a chance to stay still at one point but it was too uncomfortable (urge surge) and I moved and broke it. I'm sure it would have passed if I had stayed still though, and I'd have dropped in deeper. I made it through some other intense rollover signals, but that one, I just must have been out of mental energy.

      So I found myself driving up the road by the campus of the college I went to. In my Mustang. I was pulled over. For some reason my eyes wouldn't open much. The police officer reminded me of Officer S. I had on my orange glasses. Then Officer S left and another officer (I'll call him Officer B but I don't know his name) came to my car.

      They had been telling me that my steering wheel was too far ahead. And that my steering wheel should be closer to my chest. So I did a joke where I pressed the steering wheel button to push it towards me, and then ended up having the whole thing push me all the way to the back seat. Officer B was mad. I told him it was just a joke, but he said it wasn't funny. I always get triggered by people with no sense of humor. They're so unreasonable.

      Then, I was in my back seat, and all these young kids came in the car. They bumped into me and stuff. I wanted to move but I thought the kids would have to leave my car, since I didn't know them.

      All the kids were wearing a similar outfit. Eventually, they must have left. Now I have some mental blank spots. I remember really needing a bathroom though, and none were available. I was getting mad. All the stalls were taken but I only needed to go #1 anyway. I found a stall with a toilet and a urinal and went to the urinal. The urinal was like one of those garbage cans thats built into the wall, except lower. It was already full of pee though. I tried to urinate anyway because I didn't care, and wound up urinating on my shoes.

      There hadn't been a door on this stall. But I figured it didn't matter. Also, everything was really gross. I had my hand up against the stall at one point, holding it. Then I felt some sharp claws dig into both my wrists and grab me from behind. This caused me some panic. It felt very physical.

      Whatever it was, it brought me out of the dream, and into my bed. It continued to hold me from behind, but now I only felt the sharp grip on my right wrist, and the grip on my left wrist wasn't sharp. I was in some sleep paralysis but was able to say, "Stop!" and then there was some silence while it continued holding me. It was very interesting when it replied to me, "Stop!" a bit louder.

      I said, "Why are you doing this to me? Please don't do this." But I also alternated between panic and then remembering to relax because it was just sleep paralysis.

      It brought me into a dream in which I was lucid at the onset. I turned around and looked at it. It was kind of shaped like a bowling pin, with blue, black and yellow. Maybe I will draw it. It had one eye at the top of the bowling pin.

      Another character who was also a similar shape told me I can't look behind me. That character will be behind me but I can't look behind me. I'm not allowed to look at it. If I do see it, I have to only look at its necklace which had a golden thing on it.

      I'm going to call the bowling pin guy "Pin" for now. So after that, we all sat on a couch. This felt like a very profound dream. I was a thin couch at first. There was someone, i think an old woman, to my left. We held hands. Then someone sat to her left. More people came, and they all squeezed in to the furthest seat on the left. The couch continued to stretch. I was surprised at one point to see that C S, E S, and I S.

      So, then more people joined. I asked the person next to me, "Are they all lucid, too?" And they said yes. I decided to cast a spell to extend the couch to my right. There were some wooden latch things that had to come apart but it worked. I felt cool about using a spell. I think more people sat down after that.

      "Pin" was up front now, going to teach us something. I think it was "Pin" or maybe it was the other bowling pin character, but not "Pin". (I'll have to try to break the rules and look for "Pin" in future dreams.) Anyway, I guess I woke up. This one was very lucid. But it wasn't a clear point to me where I woke up. At some point, I was awake, and had to go through some effort to think of the dream again.

      Eventually, as I thought through it, I fell asleep. (RBFA) There were some various parts to this. I'll try to put them in order.

      I remember something of trying to dream journal everything. And being in a class run by B D. Apparently he had gained a school position and everyone who graduated 10 years ago had to come take a test. His test was designed to kind of make people feel their life hadn't worked out. One of the questions was "Which of your expectations were not fulfilled" or something like that.

      So I saw through his plan. I was able to try to write the answers I felt good about.

      I remember some kind of thing in a cafeteria. Some kind of graphic design thing that is on the TOTT (OTTOTT?) but then I remember dream journaling, and seeing B W. I had a very complex idea of a dream journal in my mind, complete with a lot of drawings. But that was overwhelming me so I decided it was okay just to type it out in a simpler fashion.

      there was a part where I was on a roof. And I remember going up and down some stairs. Its kinda vague to me. I remember seeing this house with siding all around it. Then G M came out of there and sneezed. I said bless you. He rubbed his sneeze on me. I was not mean to him about it but kind of wondered why he thought that was okay. It got on my beard. Then I was driving around and I remember seeing this big orange house with brown doors at the T in the road I had got to. Thinking to myself about forgiveness. Forgiving others, forgiving myself, being forgiven, it was annoying me because they always emphasized forgiving others or being forgiven by others. Where as I thought that being able to forgive one's self should come first.

      I also remember finding myself in a cafeteria. Mom, dad and my sister were there. Eventually I went over and joined them. And had some french fries or something. This part is kinda vague.

      I remember another part of walking around the house at my parents old place. There were kids playing next door and they talked to me from over the fence. I forgot what they said, or I said.

      There was something about a frog and a rabbit running around. I had put each one in its own box for a day for some reason. This seemed cruel to me and I let it out. They pooped everywhere once they got out. It was human-size poops too.

      Then there was a girl who was trying to clean up after them. The rabbit's poop must have been tan because she had a bunch of that that she was cleaning. I remember in cleaning it, she had also left a mess, which I then tried to clean up after her.

      We got transported to a restaurant job kind of thing. I was at the front, setting this window that had fallen off. I had to reset all the metal rods and stuff. I remember just trying to open it, and the window panels just fell out of the wall. There was an electronic device that plugged into some metal rods. That was all the way in front of the restaurant.

      I felt connected to the girl, like I had a crush on her. There was a presentation starting. I was on staff there. I ran to the back of the room where I could see the presentations. I almost took the seat next to the girl but hesitated and ran and even slid on the floor to stand against the wall. I was like half-way in the chair near her when i changed my mind. Maybe I thought it was too bold of a move to sit near someone I liked. So I found myself standing between two table or counter top things. Standing made sense to me because I was a bus boy there anyway.

      So I looked ahead and there was some kind of presentation going on. It seemed to be a carry over of characters from previous scenes.

      So I've woken up from those and recalled what I could. I still feel sleepy and will try to sleep one more time.


      7:18 A M: I had more dreams. Glad that I slept some more. I was in some sort of cafeteria thing.

      There was some stuff I forgot. But there was also some stuff about being signed on to a computer program. And the guy didn't want me to log out. I was saying some stuff, something angry, and he told the guy next to him to just breathe. So he did unilateral nostril breathing. I logged out of that program.

      I noticed I was still logged in to another program, too. I had to scroll around the screen a lot to log out of that one. But when I got out, I saw this really cool graphic of a Scizor. It was like the transition from being in that program to another. It spun and there was a ripple affect, with a lot of red and silver.

      I forgot all of what was going on. But, I got on this elevator thing. The first time, I think I was in a robot suit. I got in and it said help was needed on the fifth floor, so I went to the fifth floor. When I got out there were all these coolers full of mussels (black shell fish) and canned beverages. I pushed them out and found that they had to be pushed around a ramp that twisted around the outside of the building. Some of them fell over the edge but I was able to get most of them around. By the time I got to the bottom, it was a whole truck load. I figured if I'd brought it to the wrong place we could always bring it back up on the elevator.

      Then I walked around some more, and we had to go back in the building. Back in the elevator. This time with a few people. A woman was examining all these beads on the ground. She said we'd be better off leaving them for when the owners come to get them.

      The elevator door was about to close. Suddenly the woman said that if it turned red, we better all get out. Sure enough, it turned all read. Like night mode on a computer but with red tint and the black would be red.

      She ran out of there and I managed to just make it, too. I looked back and the elevator was lit up white. The other guys had been stuck in there. Not sure if they would be okay. It seemed to be because of their robot suits.

      I followed the woman around the building and saw her getting into this car with no windows. It turned out to be cushioned. I don't think there was a roof but the doors went up a few feet over out heads. it was a gold colored car with a beige interior and very soft. There was one more person in the back seat. We were safe there.

      Then I woke up.
      I'll try to sleep some more because I feel sleepy enough.


      Well, I ended up realizing W A was at 7:30, so I went to that meeting. I thought I'd let myself sleep while I listened but it didn't work. Oh well, I think I got 8-9 hours of sleep anyway.
    3. 4,276 words - Selected part in bold

      by , 05-27-2018 at 07:51 PM
      I went to bed around 7:30, asleep by 8. Now, its 12:25AM, so I got 3-4 hours of sleep.

      I laid back down and almost let these be an RBFA, just because I felt so tird. But as I laid there, I was able to recall more and more, and they were very profound. I ended up recalling them and stillbeing awake, so I came to write after all.

      The earliest part I remember (and there were more than this) was being at the local food store. I think I worked there but might have just been a customer. The manager, or some other guy, was throwing out a bunch of chicken in the dumpster. I wanted to take some of that chicken instead of buying next chicken to save money and stuff like that. I think I felt guilty or had to ask someone.

      There might have been some parts with waiting on line at the grocery check-out there.

      Then, I remember vaguely, some stuff with some people from school. We were driving down B Avenue and then around the bend. As I went under the lights, I was thinking of, or seeing, a Pokemon game. It was showing how there were 3 to 6 different versions, and each one had different Pokemon. The version I was looking at seemed perfect. It seemed to have all my favorite Pokemon.

      So I drove down that main road and towards the school. Talking about directions with someone else in the car. To the right there was a road that led to B V. I explained to the passenger how I always ignore the signs to B V, and don't go there. (Was I the passenger or the driver?)

      Then I drove by the school and up to that T in the road. Going right would take me to B V (I think) and going diagonal right would take me into this golf course or resort area with a big gate. (It was like the arrangement at the T in the road from waking life, but with some reversals.)

      First I drove to the right, but got nowhere, and looped back around to the T in the road again. This time I went to the diagonal right. People were running chain saws to cut down trees. We got our car to one of the trees. maybe it was our job to cut it before we could pass. My normal waking life thoughts against cutting trees didn't seem to kick in.

      When the people ahead of us were done cutting, they left. We were left with this tree and a little Scion type of car in front of it. Maybe to haul the tree away.

      We got into the little Scion type of car, and tried to turn it on. The key wouldn't start. There was some fear or apprehension building about needing to get out of there. Maybe bad spirits. When we tried to turn the ignition on, it didn't work. Someone held the key all the way turned, and kept turning the engine, and I was afraid it would blow up. The radio began to show some different words on the LCD display, which had to do with the car not turning on, and being jammed.

      Then, we started to hear a voice, or feel a prescence. Something about "Kuralin Goku" (I think Kuralin is Japanese for Krillin but in this case, it didn't mean that, it was more like another version of Goku) appearing. He was saying how he was blocking the energy of the bad spirits, but it took him so much energy to do so, that it was almost ironic. There was something like me feeling a packet of Retainer Brite tablets and ripping off a little corner. Something with a little Gohan character being really eager to talk to this "Kuralin Goku" character. Vegeta was also there, and was astounded. Regular Goku was there too.

      Then the dream unfolded a piece of paper and showed "Kuralin Goku". He had a big neck and maybe golden ear rings. Also his face looked kind of like Vegeta. It was saying how he would become Green Goku, and I imagined Regular Goku fighting and winning against Green Goku, and gaining the power.

      After a while of that, there was this motorcycle guy who was like, "Stop all this! Stop all this!" He just couldn't take it any more and thought it was all nonsense. His face showed on two panels, exclaiming that this had to end and we had to go, basically. So it ended and I think we left.

      Then the dream played some music. There was one song I don't remember. There was another song that was kind of like Bon Iver. The guys were playing a gentle keyboard, and then one vocalist was singing gently. I forgot the exact words but the music video showed a religious text opening up. So it was religious music. It showed various verses of the religious text.

      One caption said something like, "2325 helps". 2325 was a verse in there. So it showed a bunch of verses side by side. Also the song seemed to be about his mom's passing.

      Kind of simultaneously, I was in my room, watching something on T V. (In my parents old house) It was becoming kind of violent or scary and I wanted to turn it off. No problem all I had to do was turn it off. Except my sister's T V was playing something violent and loud in her room. I wanted to ask her to turn it down or off, too. And went to the bathroom.

      In there I was thinking of what I saw in one of the verses of the religious text. It was mentioning different forms of anger. Like "Anger: ______" (fill in the blank). There were lots of other varieties of anger listed but the one I remember happens to be "Anger: Demonic". Anyway as I was in the bathroom there, I thought of the possibility of making my own movie or anime using all the variations of all the emotions listed.

      There was some kind of scary wiry or sinewy creature on one of the movies that played.

      Okay, that's nice to have that all written. I feel like I won't fall back asleep easily. But anyway I guess I'll do some LD reading until I get sleepy.


      cool! Just did a bunch of reading on r/luciddreaming. That's a very active forum. Now I feel sleepy enough to sleep again. (Its 1:45 AM... Wow I do 2 hr WBTBs!)


      Now it's 3:06 AM so I only slept 45 minutes or so, putting me at 4-5 hours.

      After reading r/luciddreaming I was inspired by some threads to try the counting method. I laid down and at first was annoyed by my fidgeting. But started to count, "1, I am breathing in, I am dreaming... 1, I am breathing out, I am dreaming... 2, I am breathing in, I am dreaming..." (and on and on, I actually got to the 70s and maybe even the 100s) Focusing on that mantra seemed to get me towards a state where I was dropping out of consciousness but would re-gain it. I remember beginning to get dream flashes of a red fence going into a bush. Something white... That I forgot. (TOTT) And also some gold text on a black back ground with words I was trying really hard to keep a hold of in my head, but don't remember now.

      I had some non-lucids in the beginning, then I would wake back up and recall the dream and resume counting. One involved being at my current house. There was a giant squirrel in the drive way. I was like "Wow, giant squirrel!" And then it scurried away. It kinda scared me and through dream logic I made sense of why squirrels can be that big. My sister was out there with me. There was a bush in the front of the driveway. I remember something about there being a blanket in the bush that I could sleep in, but there was a mole in it. And something about it being wet.

      There was also a part in my Nana's room where I had to hide by Nana's fire place, behind a chair. Then, I was out of hiding, but the dog was drawing attention over to the fire place. I had to admit to my sister I had hid by the fire place. (Although I'm not sure why I hid.)

      Then I think I had my first lucidity where I found myself in my room, and stood up in bed. (Might have been separation.) I looked around, and saw it dimly lit in my room. I wasn't sure if I had really stood up. I dove back into bed and landed right on my neck. Luckily, it was a dream, and I just returned to the void. I must have pretty much known it was a dream.

      I also remember being in my room at another point, lucid.

      In my room I managed to pull off my eye cover and then get it to be brighter. It is very often I dream I'm wearing an eye mask, and have to take it off in order to see more clearly. I remember on the wall by my desk, where my grid of photos is, I had a poster of some actor with multi-colored pixelation. Blue, neon green and neon red/pinkish color. It was groovy. I was trying to put that up.

      There might have been some more words I was reading. One of the words was so interesting, starting with the letter 'a', but I lost it.

      There might have been another scene. It feels like something is there but I can't get to it. Maybe it wasn't, though.

      This next scene was really fun. I found myself walking towards a brick building. I had just come back from a walk in the woods. The sky was bright blue. It was sunny. I saw some kids wearing black up ahead.

      Realizing that I was in public now, not just the woods, I went to put my shirt on. Then I realized it was a dream just by the fact that I had been falling asleep consciously enough. To test it, I jumped up, and found myself flying. (That's how I tested most of my dreams in this sequence, and when I succeeded in flying, it was a great feeling!)

      I figured I would land on the roof of the building. The sky was bright blue. I heard 2 groups of kids on the ground going, "Wow! How did you learn to do that?" The clouds were a mix of puffy white ones, and then these square outlines. "Lucid dreaming!" I yelled out in return and it sounded through the whole sky.

      Having made it above the roof, I let myself fall. I was going to land on the roof on my back. I felt the fear of the pain of colliding with the roof but realized it was just a dream. I even heard of someone feeling ecstatic from hitting the ground after a long fall. So I just spread my arms out and relaxed, and when I collided with the roof, I woke up. It felt really cool and not painful at all.

      There was another part in being lucid in my room, and trying to manifest something. When I awoke in my bed, I realized I could have probably manifested it if I'd tried to manifest it behind my room door. But that was after I'd woken up.

      The last dream I had was interesting. Got up from bed again, pretty sure it was a dream. It was close, though. My chair was right where it would be in waking life. I thought of tipping it over but I was like, "Wait, if its waking life I don't want to make a mess." I walked accross the room and saw a red square on the wall, dimly lit. Other than that there wasn't much light in the room. I felt it, and it felt like I had hung up a Charizard card on the wall. 'Yep, this is just like waking life,' I thought. (It really isn't there in waking life.)

      I started to feel the wall and think that I had gotten up physically. Before I could do a finger palm test, I saw that the door to my room (I was in the corner by the door) began to be sucked into the corner of the room. 'Oh! It IS a dream!' I thought.

      Feeling some fear, I turned around. Maybe someone was coming to battle me! There was an air conditioner in the middle of the room, running. I could feel the cool air coming out. I think I tried again to manifest something I wanted, but it didn't work. I jumped 5 or 6 feet up on top of the air conditioner (it was on a table) and then jumped from there up through my ceiling. I passed through it fairly well. (Didn't remember to practice walking through walls much though as I was too pre-occupied with manifesting something else, which I really didn't need to, and wouldn't have been as constructive.)

      At first I got stuck in the ceiling. But then I thought, 'No. this dream isn't ending.' and pulled myself through. I found myself in a computer lab with lots of computers. I flew to see what was on them.

      This dream made me think of how I want to use my lucid dream time more constructively. Anyway I woke up from that last part and thought it through. My memory was pretty thorough. Some details continued to trickle into my mind as I wrote. I'm really happy with the counting technique and will try again next time, if I can muster the concentration skills.

      Oh! I just remembered. I actually did try charging my hands to form a super-saiyan-style aura, but didn't get it.


      Ok, wasn't sleepy yet, so read more r/luciddreaming. Now its 4:34 and I feel tired again. Back to bed!


      Now it's 8:03 AM. I probably got another 2-3 hours of sleep putting me at 6-7 total. Lot of RBFA but intentionally.

      The earliest thing I remember is a dream of a guy who ate chocolate. Then he was concerned about having eaten the chocolate, and worried about his health.

      I remember a part where I was on a lucid dreaming sub-reddit. Only, it was much slower. It was called r/deepluciddreaming but seemed connected to World of Lucid Dreaming Forum so I thought of Dr. Clare Johnson. There was some kind of wild hologram thing that appeared at the bottom. Maybe I was lucid in these early ones.

      I think the next dream was of riding on this raft thing. But a Jamaican guy was making fun of me. He was with his family. Something about riding the raft, he made fun of me for. Also, I was going over a word document, and inserting a colorful picture. But someone was making fun of me for that. Meanwhile they were saying all this stuff about conspiracy theories and I never once mocked them (not that I would) but I explained to them how I hoped for the same courtesy.

      The picture I was using got too big for the word document and I couldn't get rid of it. It broke into parts when I tried to highlight it. My Dad came by and commented on the picture of several Pokemon standing in a pyramid. The colors were inverted on my monitor.

      Then I guess next was the part of me parking my Mustang in the parking space somewhere foreign. I remember it was almost out of gas, and I watched the gas meter go all up and down after I started it up until it settled on a little less than a quarter full. I was going to leave it there to fly home or something because it was a foreign place. I think an Eastern European place.

      Next I was walking by some docks with boats. My fore-head was all crusty and I had to rub it off. This was one of those moments when it was more clear I thought I was in waking life, not a dream. Anyway I walked by some women loading a boat. Then into this auditorium place. it was very luxurious, for wealthy people, but I had no need to be there.

      Suddenly G A walked by me. I was pretty surprised to see him even though he would be one of the wealthy people at a place like this. I think we talked for a moment. Then I got to a room where several family members were distributed into different corners of the room. One was the beer corner with Uncle M and Dad, i think. One was the liquor corner with some relatives who drank liquor. And some others. I remember actually sipping a tiny bit of liquor through a tiny straw. 'What am I doing? I'm losing my sobriety count!' I thought, as I flipped a bottle cap in one hand.

      Then I walked around and got to this building. There was something going on with several textbooks and my sister was there. I read the books in a funny voice.

      So there was a part after reading the books where I thought I was in waking life at that point, but the other dream about drinking had been a dream. (What's that called? When you're still dreaming, and not lucid, but you realize the previous dream was a dream?) Anyway I was sharing on a meeting about how I could become lucid during those dreams. After me I was surprised to hear a woman named Marietta (no waking life correspondence) begin to proclaim how it was possible to get lucid in a dream using this beverage. It was a colored beverage, like kool-aid in a baby bottle. It's color was off, but could be restored by shaking it up. Because the color was stored or absorbed into the bottle cap thing. So she shook them all up and then they were perfect.

      After that, I remember walking through the Arboretum, on another phone meeting. Or thinking about how on a previous meeting, someone had said that no one could talk about suicide any more. This didn't bother me. But someone else objected, saying that it was important for someone to get support if they needed to talk about that. What bothered me was that someone suggested lucid dreaming not be allowed to be discussed. Since I had brought it up, more people brought it up, too. And it was taking over the meeting focus while not being as directly related. I could understand that but wasn't happy with it.

      At the arboretum, instead of green leaves, all the trees had white flowers. And all the ground had white flowers and white flower petals. It was kinda cool.

      I vaguely remembered something from being at the shower at my parents old house. Not a very clear memory, though.

      So, that was it! It was a good move to just stay on r/luciddreaming until I felt sleepy again.
    4. 4,915 words... "Peak" LD in bold

      by , 05-24-2018 at 03:06 PM
      Getting off comp at 7:24pm..


      12:28 AM: I must have been asleep by 8-830 and slept until 12 so thats 3-4 hours so far.

      I am sure there was stuff even earlier that I forgot. Maybe even cool stuff!

      The earliest I could remember was a scene of driving with my sister in the back seat and a woman in the passenger seat. I don't know who the woman was. In a convertible, on kind of a busy road place.

      We were passing around an mp3 player, trying to figure out how it worked. There were little buttons and the one in the middle made it into an mp3. It had the same digital quality as an old school Tamagatchi or Gameboy (first gen). There was a headset jack adapter, wire thing, and an actual headset. The woman kept trying to throw it out the window. I would stop her, like, "What are you doing?!" And kept the mp3 player, I think.

      Then I pulled over on the shoulder, but on the left side of the road, near one store. I wanted to pull up this one way steep sloped driveway but I was on the exit side. I decided to pull through anyway, hoping no police officers were nearby. But it was such a busy place, it was likely there would be. I pulled up anyway, hoping for the best. "Don't! You'll damage the road!" Said my sister. 'Damage the road?' I thought to myself. 'If people don't damage the road going down it, I won't damage it going up it. And, doesn't she mean damage the car?' But I didn't say that.

      I pulled up the steep slope and all the spots to my right were full anyway. Slanted a certain way, I think mainly head-in. I don't know if it would have lined up. There was a guy with a cigarette hanging out his window so I rolled my windows up before any second hand smoke got in. It wasn't a convertible at this point.

      I had to keep pulling through because there were no spots. However I ended up using a bathroom. My sister was worried that I would get in trouble. Sure enough, a police officer came. There was something in my mind about how I would stay in the bathroom stall a moment, and that would help me not get in trouble.

      Standing over the toilet, trying to go, I heard the police officer come in. My sister was in there too, just not in the stall. I thought the police officer's name was P but I was thinking of S. Then I saw my sister looking at me through a gap in the wall. I don't think she meant to look at my private area, just meant to talk to me, but I was like, "Go away!" which I thought sounded mean right after. I was surprised there was such a gap in the wall too.

      I think I talked to the police officer a little. Not sure what else happened in that part. But then, I was in a restaurant accross the road. I forgot how that transition happened. Standing at the bar. I forgot originally why, since I don't drink. I remember thinking of Tom Cruise but he had a totally different face. And Kate something, but I don't think her appearance corresponded to any actual actress, either.

      I knew the bartender from a previous job (or some place). We talked. I said I worked at a restaurant accross the road, DRF's new place. He was surprised. He asked me something about where I lived. "What?" I asked, unable to hear. 'Oh, it must be my earplugs,' I thought, and felt bad.

      We talked some more and another waiter there also arrived, someone I seemed to know from a previous restaurant job. We talked some more and then the waiter held up a dirty napkin. He asked me to bring his table a new napkin or to bus his table, or something like that. I decided I would as a favor even though I didn't work there.

      I walked around the long way and found no way through the room, due to so many tables. I saw one heavy set fellow eating a plate of tomato slices and egg salad. It actually looked pretty good. I think F was his dad? And a woman was there, maybe his mother.

      Next thing I saw was some of my Dad's friends at a table. They had their food in a giant pile on the floor that I was supposed to clean up. I got ready to start working on it with a wheel barrow.

      Some other things happened. Somehow I made it through and saw a table of older ladies who needed their whole table replaced, due to a spill. During the dream scene, I remembered the spill happening earlier. I had one napkin to offer. The waiter of the table was saying sorry about everything. A glass of water had spilled but it had lemon so it made everything smell sour. The old women had forgotten what it was and the waiter had to explain how they were going to bring fresh water.

      I remember writing "fancy bread, fancy water" on a line of text beneath some other text I had written. I forgot if there was anything else. Pretty good first-round dream recall. I might have remembered another thing or two if I kept recalling but it would have ended in RBTS and likely forgetting, so I went to write a little sooner. Alot more dreams still to come tonight!


      4:09 AM - Now its 4:09 AM. I must have been unable to sleep until 3, so I'm at 4-5 hours of sleep now. It was really tough. I tried my LD/sleep meditation 3 times. Tried to do some physical activity. Talked out loud. It just took a while. It turned out to be a really cool REM rebound LD though, so I was glad I made it through the tough time. My dream director must have been putting in alot of overtime preparing all of these scenes, and the cast of dream figures, so he just needed a little extra time to get it all ready.

      My earliest memory was of being in my bed. My friend C was mad at me for how I was sleeping on his phone. I felt really embarrassed and bad about it. He didn't understand it was accidental.

      I wasn't lucid yet. When I got lucid was a little later. I saw my Dad but he looked sleepy or something. Forgot what happened there. Eventually I did a finger palm test and was so relieved it had all been just a dream. Because I felt so bad about the thing with C.

      Then the dream took me through this experience twice, identically. The first time it had other parts interspersed, or more at the end. The second time, it was just the one sequence of things. Unfortunately I couldn't remember all the details of the experience, even though it happened twice, identically. As it happened, I remember thinking, 'This is the exact same dream, twice. I'll definitely remember it when I wake up.' But did not. Now that I think of it, I think I remember a Blastoise.

      I remember that both times it ended, there was a kind of credits screen or something like that. Dark or black backgrounds. One had gold letters saying something like, "I'm not done yet" in big gold block letters. And other words I couldn't get. Some were written in mirror writing. One of the end-game screens said "Durza: 79" and I wondered why it didn't show my score. It said "____: 0" Where ____ was another name but I'm not sure whose.

      There was also a part of it that ended with me asking two dream figures (MD being one) how to put on clothes. There were all these clothing racks. I remembered that I had always wanted to change my clothes in a dream, so I tried it. I thought of asking "How do you change clothes in a dream" but kept it to just "How do you change clothes?" They found me a pair of tan shorts and a blue button down shirt thing and a belt that looked pretty nice. I think a nearby woman scoffed at it. I remember there were lots of other clothes.

      Speaking had not been easy in the dream thus far and it remained difficult until much later. Every time I tried to speak, it was like being in sleep paralysis. Couldn't really get much out. I tried to push it a little bit just kind of accepted it. I wonder why this happened. It came more into play later when I wanted to try "dream commands" and could barely talk.

      Couches in a couch and bed and furniture store accross the mall caught my attention before I could change clothes. Having laid low until now in terms of dream abilities, I decided to fly. I flew accross the hall of the mall, which had that part that opens to the ground floor, like the big hole in the floor, that they have in malls.

      Flying accross with ease, I was feeling pretty good. However, I became aware of a woman behind me, in white, glaring at me. Her face showed lots of scolding and shaming expressions. She was a bit older, maybe 50, with blonde hair and a white shirt thing. I decided to just keep flying, and enjoy rolling around on the luxurious couches.

      Fear set in. Fear that she would chase me through the store anyway, so I may as well surrender. I flew back accross to her due to this gravitational pull. She began to scold me. Again, I could barely talk. What did she say? I forgot.

      Emotionally, I became very distraught by her faces, which were just very glaring, harsh and judgmental to me. (When I woke up I realized that if I could have stayed calm as I did at the end of the dream, that would have helped. there was alot of progress in regulating emotions.)

      Woke up from that and began to recall it, thinking it was over. However, it was only just beginning. I was in my room this time and it was dark. Somehow I knew it was a dream still. Also I remember between dreams, the ringing in my ears would get really intense. It overwhelmed my focus on dream recall of the previous one and took me into a new dream.

      Through all these, I told myself at least once, 'Just experience the dream while you're in it. You'll wake up and remember what you remember. You may very well forget some of this, but it's okay. Just stay here as long as you can, and when you wake up, you'll be able to remember some parts.' And I just let go and stayed in the moment of the dream. It was kinda cool but unfortunately I forgot some beginning parts.

      Experiencing those parts of the dream was like experiencing a first person video game. Actually now I remember. I could control some characters with my eyes. It was like a video game and I could use my eyes to control the characters from a top-down view. I remember being afraid to move my hands in case they would move my physical hands, but they didn't. I eventually tried using my hands more to control the game play. I remember one Link type of character in white. Maybe more will come back.

      Laying on my back, I began to see another scene. More aware now that it was a game or screen I was watching within a larger dream world. Continuing to watch, I was transported to fly above light blue water. A black form was shown beneath the water, maybe some kind of dragon, snake or other monster. It showed ripples as it got near the surface but then went back under a little deeper.

      Fear began to build again. 'Just hang in there,' Said one part of my mind. 'No! It's gonna show a really, really scary face! Bail!' said another part. I ended up trying to get up from that "dream screen" and go somewhere else.

      Maybe it ended and I had the ringing in the phase and re-appeared in my room. Not sure. I remember trying to make some "dream commands" work. One was to put the lights on. I tried a bunch of times to put the lights on using a command, but none worked. I used a light switch later on and that was the only way that worked. Other than that, it was fairly dim.

      Manifesting what I wanted didn't work. I think it had to do with my inner feeling at the time. Maybe too eager or too worked up. Not calm and confident enough. So I will mind that next time.

      One thing I tried to increase brightness was rubbing my eyes. I also tried blinking rapidly like my Blinking LD but it didn't do anything immediate. Fear set in that I might cause my physical eyes to move, and I stopped.

      Downstairs, it was brighter. I flew down there. I remember thinking of doing something like job applications for some reason. Just to try something that might help in waking life. But didn't. As I flew through the downstairs I saw tons of couches and furniture. Instead of 2 by 2 the downstairs was 3 by 2. Like an extra room in between the normal rooms, kitchens, etc.

      'Drinking something might help me find my voice,' I thought. So I began searching for a fridge. In the back left room, there were some couches with at least one present on them. And a fridge underneath something. It was left open a little. A white square fridge like 2 feet by 2 feet.

      Cans of beer were inside the fridge. I don't drink in waking life. But I knew it was a dream and it would probably just be like a fizzy sweet drink. The can was white and gold and some other colors. I got ready to drink it then the dream ended.

      Seeing nothing, I laid there in the void. I imagined drinking the drink, but realized I was clearly not drinking it or seeing it, I was just imagining it. I worried that it might be waking life and that would be terrible to go back to day 0 on sobriety. But I told myself, no, its definitely a dream. If I see it again, I will know that its a dream because of the downstairs being different, etc.

      I'm getting too tired to finish writing now so I will just write tags for the rest. Then convert them later.

      Had another dream where I re-appeared in my room, after some ringing. A lot of times it was easy for me to fly in these dreams. I could jump up and then just fly to where I had my back to the ceiling with no effort. However, I couldn't phase through things. My sense of limitations of physical boundaries was persistent. However my flying was very very easy and under control.

      This time I flew up, thinking of other times I had flown up through my ceiling and roof and into the sky. However I got scared part way through that I'd get stuck in the attic. Anyway I ended up in a similar room with a similar slanted ceiling, only a bit whiter. My windows were slightly open with navy blue curtains. My voice came back a little more and I tried to command the lights to come on. No luck. I went over and flicked the light switch, and it worked.

      Writing appeared on the walls. It seemed very profound. The words weren't the same as English but looked like English words with re-arranged letters. I read them aloud to myself in the dream but didn't remember many of them now, except one that said the toilet was dirty, or the dirty toilet smelled. Even though it was just a dream, I decided I could go and clean the dream toilet.

      I was also still trying to manifest something I wanted without much success. Then I heard the yelling and crying from outside. It reminded me of the neighbors who live behind me. Sometimes they yell at their kids, and it always triggers me. Or the kids will be crying, and they just ignore them. I finally gave in, went to look out the back, and it was worse than I thought!

      They were doing "circumcision" rituals on two people. I remember looking, like, "Really? Why?" And pulling back into the room to think of what I should do. One of my dream goals had been to rescue infants from un-necesary, non-therapeutic, forced genital cutting. So in this dream I had the chance!

      Trees were growing in the back yard which reached higher than the house. My plan was to fly from tree to tree, and then hide there, out of sight. Also, there was a ceiling above my back yard, and walls that went almost all the way up to it. there were like 2 feet of space that I could pass through if I wanted to get out of there.

      I flew again from the evergreen tree to the top of a bigger oak kind of tree. There was a noose up there which I just brushed to the side. It seemed kind of random. There was also a stick that was almost more of a log. pretty big.

      They were putting an Asian kid in one of the torture chairs. His Dad was kneeling and praying over a regular chair. It made me sick. he must have been praying to some evil entity to accept this human sacrifice. Vile, and disgusting.

      Just then, two women from the tent of evil walked around my tree. They looked up at me! Oh, no. My cover was blown. I threw the stick down at them as a weapon. "I'm human rights!" Shouted the woman, unaffected by the stick, even though it went straight at her. "I'm an intactivist!" I yelled back, thinking maybe we would be able to help each other. "I'm pro-cutting!" She yelled back up to me. 'What?!' I thought. 'Pro-cutting and human rights are not compatible. Cutting children is a human rights violation.'

      She began to point a gun at me. Some fear came up but I flew to the other side of the house. I noticed that walls had gone all the way up to the ceiling now, so there was no way out. (Theoretically, I could phase through any wall, with enough dream powers.)

      She fired a gun up at me as I flew. The bullet, a small black thing, seemed to go in slow motion. I easily deflected it with force from my hand. She seemed impressed. She was blonde, wearing a blue uniform, like a nurse would wear. I wonder if she was the same woman who tried to stop me flying earlier?

      Although I deflected one bullet, I became fearful, and bolted in flight to the side of the house to try to get out. I got a sinking feeling when I saw that a 30-40 foot tall pile of books and shoeboxes was blocking the exit. I began to hurriedly dig my way through the books and shoeboxes, tossing them onto the ground far below. 'This is going to make her even more mad!' I thought, as I tried to dig my way out. I guess I was afraid that, at the worst case scenario, I would be put through a torture ritual. My body stores the memory of the pain, so they could re-activate it. Or she could just shoot me, and I'd have to feel the pain of that.

      Stacks of books went on and on after the ones I had dug out, and I gave up on getting through them. I had also tried initally to phase through them, but it didn't work. I hadn't expected it to. I hope to increase that skill as time goes on.

      'If she shoots me, I might feel pain, but it won't hurt me physically,' I thought, and decided to land and face her. She was like 5 feet away from me, and pointed the pistol at me. It had a silver barrel with a black hole. She fired it, and nothing happened. She seemed surprised, as if she expected it to actually hit me. I think she was really impressed.

      The woman and I interacted a bit. I was beginning to be distracted. The grey door with a diagonal crash bar appeared on the wall to my right. I headed towards it to go out and woke up. I had been speaking something in the dream when it ended. So I woke up feeling like I was still speaking. I think I was saying, "Wait, still gotta save these kids."

      It's interesting with dream chains like this because I wake up between them but I think I'm in the phase still. Because when I finally wake up physically, it feels way different. However, at the time, I don't notice the difference because I'm in the same position, in my same bed, it's dark, etc.


      Now its 8:46 am. I got 2-3 more hours of sleep putting me at 7-8. It takes me 12 hours to get 7-8 hours of sleep!

      Had a handful of dreams. RBTS over and over but re-remembered them all as I went.

      First one I remembered was of me being in my back yard on a recliner chair. My mom was talking to another guy (not my dad) and I became suspicious. A plant was leaning over my spot in the recliner chair. I remember rotating it.

      Inside, there was a lamp on by a window. I looked out a small hole in the curtain to discreetly spy on my mom and the guy. It seemed like they had some kind of affair going on.

      Angry, mom came in and asked, "Who was spying on me through the hole in the door?" I thought, 'It wasn't the hole in the door but it was a hole in the window.' And, 'She must have seen my silhouette in the curtain due to the lamp behind me.'

      The guy ended up having difficulties with a graphic design program. He was doing everything pixel by pixel instead of using and programs that would help do it more professionally. I didn't know how to use the program either but I tried to help somehow. I kind of remember the graphics, but not perfectly.

      Something with store shelves comes to mind.

      Second part, involved a few different humanoid species. Pigs, wolves and something else, I think. Two characters, one of each species, were going up a hill to get to the other two characters, who were of the third species (wolves I think). The wolves had vats of acid that they poured on the antagonistic species. Then, they could eat them. There was a little more to this but I guess I didn't remember it.

      Third, I was on an escalator at the mall, thinking of some kind of advice for everyone. Maybe it involved drinking water.

      Fourth, I was in a high school cafeteria. Well first the high school one but then they moved us to the middle school one. Laid out like the ones in the school building I went to. The food wasn't ready yet. We had to wait but they said some food was ready. KF went up first. I went up. It turned out to be nachos and cheese type of thing. I wasn't able to eat it though due to dietary restrictions so I gave it back. The woman from the kitchen was talking to the person on the line behind me about how good the chips were, and eating some. She was a bit heavier and had dark hair. (Not saying it judgmentally, just noting the detail.)

      Fifth, I was on an internet forum. I got to a section where people were posting music. I had several poems or sets of song lyrics to post, but not actual songs. Each thread had a number for how much data it contained in files. Most threads were just one file but I wanted to make an ongoing thread, with all my files.

      One thread contained a 4-panel wide display of GIFs of a fish monster that grew bigger and meaner and more monstrous. Then the GIF would end, and it repeated. I was like, 'Why am I staring at this?' It was really monstrous. The teeth were sharp triangles toward the top of the GIF. Also, the forum background was dark grey while the text was white.

      Another thread contained a video game. The game was a mix of Pokemon, Legend of Zelda, and Shining soul, maybe other things. Anything with that top-down view. I remember exploring it by going around the regular doors. But then found there was a part with a wall I could walk right through. The wall led to a corridor.

      Blue orbs and other things I forgot were all up and down the corridor. I remember noticing the music but can't think of it now.

      Sixth? I remember going to a meeting. I had a paper and pen for writing stuff. But didn't want to bother people by writing while they spoke, so I decided to put it under my chair. (Face-down with the pen clipped over it. Black pilot g2 style pen.) I had noticed another woman in the parking lot doing something. She sat on the side of the room and had a side conversation while the meeting went on. I was kind of annoyed.

      Then in my room at the old house, I was trying to stuff this black case on a hanger in my armoir. There was something about needing to hold on to it but then there not being room. And wondering if it was really necessary.

      Seventh... I don't think there was a seventh. So, that's a lot. I feel fairly rested now. I'd like to build my dream powers and use them to rescue more children.

    5. 3,667 words - got lucid twice

      by , 05-23-2018 at 02:02 PM
      Went to bed around 7:45, Probably asleep by 8:30.


      Woke up at one point with a few dreams in mind. The first one was being at the local food store. I was buying cheese and some other food items. The older military veteran guy from town was also there. I had parmesan cheese. He took some of it and got it all stuck in his mustache.

      I remember waiting on the checkout line, then needing to use the bathrom before I left.

      I wrote one more dream note on a little piece of paper in the dark that I will have to add later. Yeah, it said "pza delivery". I know there was some kind of pizza delivery but not the detail. Something about it being anticlimactic. Some writing involved. But the short note there didn't bring up what I initially rememberd. Sometimes they do sometimes they don't.

      Then I woke up, and recalled those. I laid back down and it was an RBTS, other than the tiny notes I made on the paper in the dark.

      As I fell asleep, I noticed that I was looking at a chat room screen. It was reflecting different people chatting from various websites. There was a dark grey back-ground, and white text.

      I noticed it was a dream appearing before my eyes because I had just been thinking of dream recall when it appeared. When I looked closer, and realized that it was becoming its own thing, kind of separate from my mind in a way, I knew I was dreaming it. Then a loud ringing happened in my ears which seemed to me like a transition into WILD. However, I think I lost consciousness, and a regular dream began. Still kind of cool I think.

      There were a few subsequent dream scenes, but they ended up as RBTS, seemingly forgotten. The weird part was, when I woke up from the next round of sleep, I remembered the end of these dreams. But then after I recalled the next round of dreams more fully, I tried to go back to the end of round 2, but couldn't. Maybe it will come to mind as I write round 3.

      So, here were the dreams from when I got to sleep again. I remember something with a lemon. I had an open lemon and wondered if I should eat it and drink the juice. Maybe I had a reason in mind. I also worried about the sugar content.

      I just remembered a part where I was in a kitchen. Making a peanut butter and banana sandwich. Or about to start making one.

      I remember a brief memory of a Sonic the Hedgehog level. Like a side scroller. I don't think I remember getting the coins knocked out of me or any robot bad guys but I remember jumping along a level like that.

      There was also something with Y and he had a frozen melon. It was a cantaloupe. The orange part was not thawed yet around the sides, and that represented Y's not being ready to change his behavior yet. I think the behavior was some habit. There were other people from school there, too.

      I remember I was making the peanut butter and banana sandwich to go to a class room. When I got there someone had called their name. Two people like it was on the phone meeting today, when two people dialed in from the same phone. I think the name was David though.

      B was in the back row and I went to join him. Then we were in an adjacent room at a row of computers at a desk. There was some music he couldn't listen to. M E may have been there.

      Then there was a scene of this smaller, thin character having done something to offend this big, tough character. They were humanoid in shape but had different attributes than humans I forgot. The big tough character ended up pulverizing the little guy into a wall. It became like DBZ, where the wall got smashed in like 10 feet behind where the big guy pulverized the little guy.

      Then the little guy (LG) managed to get out of the debris and retailiate against the big guy. He poked the big guy (BG's) eyes out, and a bandage appeared, over BG's eyes. Then LG tackled BG over the edge of a cliff thing from where the village was and down into a resevoir below it. The tackling was so powerful it made a hole in the ground of the reservoir that all the water drained into. I thought LG was going to drive BG straight to the core of the Earth and make him go into lava. It was kind of violent but I was glad to see LG winning since he seemed to be the good guy, and BG the bad guy.

      All the water from the village came draining down into the reservoir. I figured this was because the lack of water in the reservoir was now creating a vaccuum but in waking life that wouldn't work that way. There was a blue waterfall coming down from the cliff face. I was also glad that the water was being drained from the village due to LG's heroic action. That must have meant the village was corrupted.

      But then we were swimming in water again so I guess it got replenished. This time I was with them, but last time, I saw from outside. BG's eye was still bandaged. This was a relief. We were able to keep BG at bay by poking him with a metal rod, which kept him at a distance. LG and I kept doing this.

      I remember swimming underwater a little to avoid some of BG's arm swings. Then poking him from there. It was pretty involved. I'm not sure what the next part of the plan was going to be.

      Then some other guys came along in the water, and began to poke us with little sharp things. They wanted to play a game. They might have been characters from earlier but I'll explain that later.

      I told them that I would be glad to play their game any time. but not at this time. At the time I was doing something really important (fighting BG) and so it wasn't a good time. I explained that I was a "man of my word" and would keep my promise. I said this with a lot of anger, mainly. However, I said it like, "I'm a man of my word... Except when it comes to football season!" Meaning that I had quit football season earlier in the dream, or it was just implanted context. I thought to myself that this was okay to change my mind on football season, and didn't make me not a "man of my word" per say because it was a longer term decision.

      (I just had a dream flashback of weight lifting but I'm not sure when.)

      Then the part with BG kind of ended. We went in a locker room and I opened my locker. It was something like 18, 28, 38, and worked perfectly. I am surprised I remembered those numbers. I remember dialing the pad lock and everything. Silver pad lock with a black dial and white lines. I think 18, 28, 38 was like my combo from high school.

      I asked MC if he would want to play a game, I think something in the water, some time. But he had lacrosse season going. So that wasn't going to work. He asked me if I was playing, and I said no.

      However, I opened my locker and found two lacrosse sticks. One said STX. I explained that I didn't play now, but must have had these from last season I played, which was (and I tried to remember if it was 7, 8, 9 or 10th grade, but it was really 8th) some time in high school.

      Then MK came by and told me that he could show me his lacrosse skills. I figured he would do some catch with a lacrosse ball against a wall which would be fast and showy and impressive. But I think I needed to get going.

      Then the coach came by and notified me that I'd have to change my bedding. Or put my bedding in the hampers next time. I felt embarrassed for not having changed it all week. I guess I thought the staff would do it automatically. He noticed a drool stain on my bed or something, which was now right near the locker.

      I was relieved that I had had a shower from being in the water. And now I was going to go home overnight. This way I wouldn't be sleeping in a dirty bed and I wouldn't smell from that. I would be able to smell clean.

      That reminds me that there must have been something with a class room, and that coach, earlier in the dream. But I can't remember it now. Only this part. I think the coach was African American.

      So then I started to head out of the locker room. I think I did put my bedding in the hamper. I remember going into another row of lockers and there was something soft and furry there. People were asking me, "What, did you think they would just walk into the laundry themselves?" And I explained how I expected the staff to do it.

      Further on the way out, I got near Mr. H's class room. He had my car key. I'm not sure why. It was on this stack of two block things with a pumpkin picture on each. Now I'm remembering walking around high school hallways but not sure exactly what.

      I accidentally knocked his blocks over and went to pick them up. There was something with a woman named J and a toy car thing that's kind of vague to me now. I left the building without getting my car keys from Mr. H. Walking around the parking lot, I looked for my car. Then I realized I hadn't gotten the keys!

      I panicked a little because it was night, and everyone had left. I remember a bright light in my eyes against the night sky, and wondering why I didn't have my orange glasses. And if this would make it hard to fall asleep. As I headed back for the building.

      My plan was to bang on the door and yell, "MR. H!!!" until he heard me. They were glass doors. But luckily one opened right up. I went down the stairs and got my key. What a relief.

      Then 2 people were going to be in my car with me. Mr. H explained how beneath the space where the keys go is a mirror so he could see the underside of the keys. That made sense to me in the dream.

      Then there was a self help book that someone wanted to read as a group in the car ride home. He got very excited that we could read and discuss it together. I wondered how I would read it while I drove. Maybe they would read it out loud so I could hear.

      Then I woke up, and recalled those. Now I've come to record them. I'm kinda sad about the RBTS on round 2, causing me that loss. I guess its good that I slept but I thought I really had a chance to salvage those dreams. However if I had tried to salvage those, I might have lost the chance to recall round 3 at all. Well, there will be more dreams next time.

      Its 3:11 now so I probably woke up around 2:30. If I went to sleep by approx. 8:30 then I got 4.5-5.5 hours of sleep so far, if I make sure to not count the times I was up recalling dreams. Hopefully I'll fall back asleep this time without trouble.


      I got back to sleep with help from a meditation I made within 25 minutes. My mind started racing and I think without the meditation reminders I would have gone way off into that.

      I remember dreaming about being a science class. There was a female teacher. I remember we had to put stuff in a bag, maybe a big brown paper bag. I'm not sure if this was where I got lucid or if I did later.

      I remember getting lucid at some point. How? Not sure. But I found myself in a bed. I got up and saw that I was wearing blue jeans. Explored a few rooms of the house I was in.

      I remember that I was actually walking around on my knee caps in the beginning. And eventually, I stood up. I remember putting my one foot out and pressing up to a full standing position. So there was some dream body coordination.

      I don't remember much of the dream. or as much as I think there was. I felt like I had good control and it was a fairly stable dream, but without much stabilization techniques even needed. I think I did some hand rubbing at one point.

      I remember being in a room, near a TV. Thinking that the dream was going by so fast, but it was a longer lucid dream, and that I'd probably remember it all very easily. But I was aware that I hadn't even thought "Let me make sure I remember this" the whole time, untl then.

      I wondered what dream goals to try to accomplish after feeling like I hadn't really got the most out of it. There were some pullups and dip bars. I did wide-grip, overhand pull ups for a while, then pulled myself up and did push-ups on the bar. Then rotated to do dips. I rotated between the hanging push-ups, dips facing one way, back, dips facing other way, etc. Then back to pull-ups. I remember feeling my arms and upper body muscles actually working which was kinda cool. Also I think I did it with my eyes closed, seeing no visuals, just feeling the work out.

      I guess I fought the ending of the dream a little bit, but surrendered that it was over.
      There was one last false awakening in which I appeared in my bed, with lights on in the room. I grabbed a mirror at the foot of my bed, and tried to dream journal by talking into it.

      When I woke up physically, I was in such a daze. Not really able to think clearly. Those moments when I couldn't think yet were probably when alot of it slipped away.

      Well, now it's 4:36 AM. I must have only slept 30-45 minutes putting me at about 6 hours of sleep.


      I think I got 1 or 2 more total hours of sleep, so I'm at 7-8 again. I had some dreams way in the beginning that were forgotten via RBTS.

      I remember playing sports in the high school field. It was windy. A woman was smoking two cigars at once. I kept yelling from a distance for her to stop and she did. I was pretty sure there was no smoking allowed on that high school field. I vaguely remember some heiroglyphics or something like that.

      We got up to the locker room which was accessible through the front of the school building, and walked in. Same as waking life. I put a joke on the mirror involving someone wanting to eat an onion. Then after showing one person, I think C, I decided to take it down. It was a woman saying something about wanting an onion. Also there was something with the word trauma. I didn't want to leave it because it was making fun of her. She had reddish brown hair.

      Then there was something about how I was wearing gym shorts, but instead of change back to my clothes now, I would go home, change into different gym shorts, come back to school, and then change from gym shorts back to my regular clothes.

      I think TR was there.

      Then we were in a different field and there was something about a guy saying how if a guy got a woman pregnant, he should be with her. So he was staying with a woman who I guess he had got pregnant. Then we were supposed to rotate positions. I ended up being tricked into rotating to a position without a good view of anything. TL laughed. I was in a corner but behind a TV. So then TL pushed me into the corner some more and I kinda fought him off. I didn't want to stay in that spot.

      Then I remember being in the woods. I tripped and stumbled trying to get under some hanging vines. The trails were narrow. Someone had a thrown a whole bag of Heineken beer cans out there. There was some other litter. I wanted to clean it but it was hard to get my cleaning tools through the narrow passages of vines. I remember looking down a snowy slope that I'd have to wait until it was dry, so as not to slide.

      I thought of Wingull from Pokemon, maybe one that Ash had. I think I imagined it flying by.

      I'm not sure what else happened. I think there was a part when I was going to buy cigarettes, but then return them immediately, as a way to make people quit some how. I shudder to even say that sentence. And I also woke up laying on my right side, but opened my eyes and saw vines. When I looked closer they became blue, like my bed might be. But I still think it was a false awakening, because my eye cover would have made that not possible in waking life.

      I guess I don't remember the rest. It's kinda vague. Tonight my brain was a bit foggy when going for recall.

      I was really surprised (sp?) that this came out to 3667, it seemed like less!
    6. 2,614 words

      by , 05-22-2018 at 12:39 PM
      It's 6:46pm. I'm already kinda tired. I'm gonna get off the computer early and get to bed.


      Now it's 12:54 AM and I couldn't get back to sleep. I probably slept 7:30 to 12 which is 4-5 hours, with one time waking up, in between. Then I woke up with some dreams to recall around 12. I felt tired so tried to just use a tag book method but ended up being unable to sleep. Kinda fidgety and something on my mind.

      So I got up to write the dreams! I think the earliest was something about how I went all the way to the far reaches of the Earth to find safety. When I got there, we were a few feet deep in the ocean, at the shore. There were a few African people saying this was the furthest that any civilization reached. I thought about going further out into that Ocean but they told me that no civilizations existed until making a nearly full circle around the Earth, to the other side of the continent we were on. I forgot everything they said but it felt safe, like I would be okay. It was day time. The water was blue.

      I remember a thing with my sister. But it's kind of vague. Something with a piece of paper. Not sure.

      I remember a thing in my Nana's living room.

      I remember backing up my car in the drive way at my current house. But not being able to line it up in the spot. I was thinking of the "atman self" which I don't know what that is. But something about how the self is okay. I was also thinking how MGM is wrong as I drove. Then I backed up past my drive way and into the road. This made my car go near a pack of 3 cars in the street.

      I guess there was some kind of stand off and none of us could go around each other. This ended up resulting in M R being hand cuffed and taken to jail. I remember the dream showing M R hand cuffed, but noticing that it wasn't at the wrist. Actually only his pointer finger tips were put through the hand cuffs. He adjusted his hands to find a comfortable fit but I guess he could take them out any time.

      There was another part with these brown desert rocks. Two explorers walked through them. T, the manager from the second restaurant I worked at, was there. I remember walking accross this rock thing and then into a vat of something as part of the exploration. Not quite sure but I was delighted when even a small detail of this came to mind.

      There was another part which I will call Winnie the Pooh and DBZ too. Because it was a mix of characters. Goku was getting ready for battle and there were other characters, too. But then I think Winnie the Pooh was coloring Super Saiyan Goku's hair yellow. And it was done by hand.

      There was someone else on Goku's team. As well as Buu. Buu was wearing the costume he had when he absorbed Piccolo and a few other DBZ characters, with the black and gold shoulder pad things. I remember drawing those or seeing them drawn in the dream.

      Then there was a drawing of Winnie the Pooh with some darker markers over yellow. And then doing the eyes by not coloring over where they would go, and putting dots there.

      I will double check the tag-book for anything else but I think that was it. Now I'm gonna do a few things until I get sleepy.


      Okay, I just did some reading and posting on WOLD forum. Then got sleepy. Its only 1:46 AM so if I start sleeping now, I'll be able to get enough hours by morning.


      Finally got back to sleep. Had to lay there a while. I found myself listening to a phone meeting of WA. One woman was saying how she doesn't do a lot of outreach. She just reaches within herself. She does a lot of healthy habits and doesn't take a lot of phone calls. Kind of just takes care of herself.

      Then there was a thing with 3 black dogs, and petting them. One woman said something about how severe the cannibalism is. Then she pet the dogs a lot. I went to pet the dogs too because it seemed to be the only relief from the pain of knowing about the cannibalism. It seemed as I pet the dogs, I felt okay again.

      Then I was on my computer, in my room.

      I started to feel sleepy, and got up to go to bed. I figured I had not been able to get to sleep the second time I tried, and got back up again, which was what I almost thought would happen after laying there so long. When I tried to close my computer, the screen was really zoomed in. I couldn't find anything.

      I got up, I think still hearing someone talking. Something about the lap top screen made me think to do a finger palm test, so I did. Sure enough, my finger went through. I was really surprised and wondered if it was possible it could still be waking life. But then I did a finger palm test and there was a big "DZZZT" and the room flashed red. Scary!

      One more finger palm test and this time my finger went through with no DZZZT thing. The air conditioner was on. I wondered if this was in my physical window. I couldn't use my eye sight, but I could find the buttons by feel and turn it off. The button on the left lowered it a few settings, but the button on the right turned it off. I wonder if that was before I did the finger palm test, and part of the dream sign that prompted me to check. Not sure.

      Anyway I felt fear, like I needed to escape the house. I heard some kind of bang. I put my hands together in a gun position with my fingers poking out, and went around the corners of the walls like a detective. Then I pointed down the stairs and pretended to fire, but nothing happened. I just made my own little "pop" sound.

      I flew and got to the ceiling above the stairs. Tried to phase through it by becoming totally ghost-like but it was solid. I really tried to believe it, but it was solid. There was pencil hand writing up there in some spots.

      I bravely finished my flight down and landed with a gentle sound, careful not to alert anyone. My original plan was to get out through the front door, but when I got there, I saw that there was a crazy indoor lock on it. Some white oval thing. Went to the living room.

      Passed by the little space between the living room and where the hall sees through to the kitchen. Mom and Dad were there. I forgot what they were doing. Maybe making food. Nothing scary.

      That was really it. I woke up, and recalled it, surprised and relieved I had gotten to sleep.

      Now it's 2:59 AM so I must have like 5-6 hours of sleep by now. Still time to get more by morning.


      Okay. I had some more dreams. One was of being on a computer. I was in my current house a lot in the beginnings of these.

      I might have got lucid at some point in those earlier dreams. I woke up from them very, very groggy, with little recall. I remember also dreaming of a leak coming from my back pack. It was a water or milk gallon. I had to take it out and clean up. There was a lot of recycle to take out. I didn't know what to do with it. I thought I'd missed the weekly recycle pick-up and now I'd be stuck with all this recycle. I thought of putting it in the closet but that seemed full in my mind.

      Somewhere in there was a Pokemon battle part. There were different levels like 29, 39, 6, etc. I had a two headed dragon Pokemon on the right side of my screen, showing only one head. But when I clicked it, both heads came into the game and did a big lightning attack. It had a name which I forgot.

      Then R came to my house and other people had been coming. And he said it was his house. I forgot who the other people who arrived were. But he was beginning to play the kind of music they play at college drinking parties. I was wondering how I'd sleep through this. Maybe find a subreddit to vent.

      There was something with various people there I knew. Then this part where police officers came. They had guns. I was supposed to take a gun. 'Where am I gonna put this, my pocket?' I thought. But when I looked, I had a hip holster thing on my right side of my pants.

      I looked at the other police officer's guns to make sure the safety was set properly. It was, with the little switch in the "up" position.

      I was supposed to get out of the house without getting shot by someone in the house. So I was ready to use a metal shield and try to get past the line of fire and out the front door.

      I got outside after a little while. Someone who looked like the guy who player Boromir (I'll call him B) jumped 6 feet or so and landed in a somersault in some squishy mud. "Does that count as a jump around here?" He asked. He had been unable to quit smoking.

      We drove somewhere. I had a smoking problem too in this dream I guess because there was this pipe in front of me. I guess I was remembering how I got addicted. (I haven't smoked anything in 4.5+ years) There was also a gallon of water in front of me.

      The pipe fell and my Dad, who was driving, reached to the seat in front of me and caught it. I guess so it didn't start a fire. We pulled in to the driveway of a house we were going to another party at. I smelled smoke, but it was theirs. I think I was back to my non-smoking self.

      3 kids were smoking on the front steps of that house. "Let 'em have it," said my Dad. He rolled down the passenger side window and I yelled a mean word, then, "Please stop smoking!" Or something like that. I felt the mean word would make them not receptive to the other part and thought maybe I won't say that part next time.

      The 3 of them approached the car, looking ready to fight. I had a giant toilet paper roll and a 1.5 foot steak knife with a 6-8 inch wide blade.

      JDF had his left hand in his pocket. I wondered what he had, a gun? I knew I didn't have that, but I decided not to even bring the knife. I went out of the car with my hands clearly showing. The 3 guys from the steps had all come over, angry, but with no smokes.

      I apologized about the mean word. JDF and I ended up fighting. He grabbed my hands and squeezed. There was a damage chart that went from 0 to 150. Somehow I got my hands to the outside, and squeezed his hands. They cracked a little and the damage chart (white background, black text) went to 150. I let go of his hands and the 3 of them dissappeared.

      I think that's when I woke up. M R might have been in this dream. Alot went unremembered what with my groggy brain. So from 2:59 AM, I had got up around 5:30 AM, meaning I slept about 1.5-2 more hours. Putting me from 5-6 to 7-8 hours of sleep. Its already a little light out, but I'll still try for more more sleep cycle. Now it's 6:06 AM and I'm in the 7-8 hours of sleep range. Gonna go for one more sleep cycle.


      Didn't get to sleep but remembered one more detail when meditating. With the air conditioner, I was considering pulling the plug, but I was afraid that it would cause a spark, to do it with the unit still running. But that was because the button wouldn't work yet. Also I felt the cool air coming from the vents. If a dream detail like that can come out of seemingly no-where, doesn't that mean the rest are all somewhere, too?
    7. 2,484 words... Lucario taught me to throw! And got lucid in an FA

      by , 05-20-2018 at 06:13 PM
      It's 7PM. I did 2,083 words of waking life recall today. Pretty thorough. I want to see if that prepares me for dream recall.


      I slept and had some dreams. Recalled more than usual for first round of dreams. I remember a vague part of some video game type of thing. Running around. There were these energy cubes I had to collect. For one, I had to go into a hut, and grab the energy cube. It was more complicated by some enemy characters who ran around. Maybe reptile things or dragons. Maybe canines or something else. Not sure. This part is one of those "tip of my tongue" things.

      Then it showed a Mario side scroller level with just a door and kind of a blank platform. The idea was that if the player waited a while and left the game running, a new part of the game would open up.

      Then I remember (J) and some other people on an internet forum. One post was from a 12 year old saying (J) was helping them, so that was nice. Another post was about helping (J) quit an addiction I think.

      I remember a part with (RJ) in my living room. Something about the tan couch being a certain height, and not blocking the TV now, that it was gone.

      As I write, I keep getting little glimpses of that earlier part but nothing I can put into detail.

      The last part I remember is of some kind of forum thing. Someone was posting, and I realized I had no interest in rescuing or advising anyone where my advice wasn't asked. Previously I would want to jump in and save everyone but this time I was just able to read it, without a need to rescue everyone.

      Too bad about the first scene. I will keep thinking about it when I go back to sleep and see if it comes back to me.

      I laid down to bed around 730 and now its 11:30 so I slept 3-4 hours so far.


      1:04 AM. Couldn't sleep since 11:30. Got all this stuff on my mind.


      Alright. Now it's 2:31AM. I'm gonna go lay down again and see if I can sleep. Only got 3-4 hours so far so hoping to salvage the night.


      I had some interesting dreams. They began with some stuff but I didn't remember it. I remember seeing Lucario there, and asking him to teach me stuff. I forgot what the first stuff was but then I asked him for help learning to throw and catch. He threw a boomerang to (or at!) me and it hurt my hand. I was like, "Not so hard!" Then I threw a frisbee or boomerang thing but it went way into the room where no one was. There was someone else further away.

      Then there was a line of people outside, waiting for food. Near a bunch of those gym balls people do abs on, and some storage bins. (CC) had one storage bin. I wanted to go kick one of the grey/silver gym balls and start a game of all of us kicking a ball around.

      Then I accidentally moved (CC)'s grey storage bin instead. Uh-oh. It seemed like he thought I was going to take his food. So I tried to explain myself. "I was meaning to kick the ball and start a game."

      Everyone seemed really hungry.

      (T) had braces. She was saying how she will chew on someone's hair if she doesn't get some food soon. I could relate, and kind of laughed, because I chewed on my first GF's hair as a joke. But I didn't want to admit that to them in case they thought I was weird.

      I forgot if there was anything else of that. I woke up and recalled it, groggily from the insomnia.

      Then I found myself walking around upstairs. I heard some guys, seeming my age, talking out front of my door. They seemed to be electricians. I worried they might be smokers, and went to make sure the windows in the front of the house were closed.

      When I got into that room, the walls were red-orange like in waking life. But there was a big stereo under the window, like 2.5 feet tall, 2.5 feet wide. I realized I must be dreaming. Part of it was realizing I had just been in bed, recalling my other dream. So I must have gotten into another dream.

      My first idea, being lucid, was to try to phase out the window and fly. I considered opening it first but stuck to phasing out. However I didn't have luck getting through.

      When I realized that might cause the dream to end, I stopped and went to stabilize. However, I did a finger palm test instead of rubbing hands or spinning. My finger went through. Then I saw a table had appeared with a plastic bag of apples.

      I went over to eat one. There was also a white paper bag. The dream said a very unique and interesting phrase about powdered donuts. However, the phrase evaporated from my mind within seconds. I knew the phrase would be hard to hold onto from past experience, but not that slippery.

      So anyway, in the dream, I heard the phrase, and went into the bag of donuts. They were more like big glazed donut hole things (the circles) but more bumpy shapes. They looked really good. I reached my hand in and thought, "The dream's gonna end right before I get to eat one, isn't it?" Tried to mentally stabilize it a little bit just by focusing but I woke up.

      Woke up, recalled it, tried to reach back to the previous dream as much as I could, and now recording it. 3:36AM now so I must have only slept 30-40 minutes, making me in the 4-5 hour range. Gonna go back to sleep now, feeling very tired.


      In the next round of dreams, I saw some people sawing a tree down right accross the road. It was a big tree, and it passed through an awning. I was annoyed at the noise, and mad they were cutting another tree for no good reason.

      I remember being at my desk. There were 3 jars of green olives, with red lids. My Dad was there, and I asked him to please put his olives away. He said okay. He had been busy at work. My sister said how he had been working in this cold building at night, and needed his blanket. He came out with a blanket from a room accross the hall. There was another big bin of green olives.

      In another part, I remember being near a railing. Trying to pull myself up.

      My sister was trying to tell us what to do. I noticed out the window the hill outside the window slanted down really far. I wondered if the slant would be a problem if I ever had to escape.

      I took a shower. My soap was blue. The shower nozzle aimed half-in the shower, half-onto the floor. I tried to adjust it. Some friends were chatting. (GB) was saying how he was taking 4 Lucid Esc a night. I thought to myself, "Wow. I guess pills don't do all the work." Kind of thing. It was on a message board, with black background, and white-orange text.

      I remember there was other talk about dreams.

      I went to get a water. At this restaurant place. Asked the guy behind the bar for a water. He gave me one in a plastic cup, but a girl wanted a water, so I gave her that one. They were pouring me another but someone gave me an ice cold water bottle I could drink from. Thanks! I remember it was so cold.

      After that, I walked to this other place that had a line. They had built the line like the line at some banks that curves around. Something happened on the line, maybe someone touching me. Some of this or a lot is vague, unclear in my mind.

      Then I was on a train kind of thing. Someone said something about compassion. Then someone came up to me with a gun to shoot me. Or they were going to attack me and I shot them. They turned out not to be hurt and it was just a trick.

      I was flying around the arboretum. I remember flying above the part with the hills of mulch and wood choppings. Tree to tree, kinda.

      The next part was about my friend (L). She had lunch with a friend at 2, but was willing to eat lunch with me at 1, also. I remember maybe earlier, backing out of a spot at the arboretum really recklessly, without even looking. When I had pulled along the parking lot I was like, "Wow, I didn't even think of looking." But that I had got lucky. Something about not being ready to go out. Also I was telling her I couldn't go out sooner, because I'd just had a dream, and hadn't recorded it yet. If I would have gone out first, maybe I'd forget the dream.

      There was also a scene where I was telling one woman about how she could try to put her thumb through her hand, and that would make her remember a dream. She laughed dismissively and went out the door. Other people were there.

      So, I think that was it. I also remembered in the previous dream that I saw Lucario's mouth open and close as he talked. And he had a male voice, kind of like my voice.

      Okay, now it's 5:23. I must have slept like 4 to 5. Making me at 5 to 6 hours sleep now. Still a long way to go!


      Great! It's 8:50 AM now so I must have slept 2 more hours, putting me around 8 hours of sleep. I feel pretty rested. I woke up from one sleep cycle, not able to recall much. But must have fallen back to sleep. When I woke up I had more dreams. I laid there for at least an hour (estimate) thinking about them and snoozing more, not in a hurry to get up. They stayed in my head.

      I remmeber a scene of being near this auditorium. R (an older guy from a meeting) was holding up a book and talking about the Fourth Step. Another guy was in the front, talking. I began to worry someone would start to smoke.

      Maybe some kind of ball game, in a gymnasium. Just a vague idea of it.

      I remember walking out by some dumpsters to get something. Not sure what. I noticed an air conditioner window fan thing in there all busted. And a silver metal contraption. Not sure what I was actually looking for. Someone was using a chain saw on a wood block. It had parts jutting up out of it. And he was producing individual boards. The saw was annoying me. Maybe also due to it being Sunday morning, and him still running it.

      I guess I went back in and near the gymnasium part.

      Someone said something kind of radical. Someone else disagreed. I remembered a mouse picked up a pencil and sword-fought a human with it. The human also held a pencil. The tips collided. It seemed like they were just playing along, not a lot of animosity.

      (There was a part with a forum page in an earlier dream coming to mind now.)

      Then a scene with an older man type of character. But his left shoulder and maybe other parts of his body had like a hole in it. It was kinda freaky to me. The hole had like skin flaps in it though. Didn't look very healthy.

      I think that's everything. I'm glad to have ended up getting enough sleep after all. I got lucid in two sleep cycles so my LD count gets a plus two. Aiming to continue the waking life recall as thoroughly as possible each day.
    8. 2,863 Words

      by , 05-19-2018 at 03:00 PM
      I went to bed around 9 and probably slept within a half hour. I got up once and remembered a dream or two but fell back to sleep.

      In that dream I remember this thing with Spongebob, Piglet, Winne the Pooh, and a cast from both of those shows. Spongebob stepped out of an invisible house. Maybe Gary was there. I remember seeing Piglet gobble some honey.

      There was something at the end, maybe about circumcision trauma. Not seeing the trauma itself but reading about it or talking about it.


      I fell back to sleep and had more dreams. At first I remember dreaming of going on a website. It needed to be translated. Something about statistics on kinds of beers maybe. Not quite sure. (I don't drink.) Then trying to fall asleep, but in my previous room at previous house. I was setting some kind of timer thing on my cell phone as well as another audio, not sure why. Something about 10, 20 or 30 minutes.

      I remember getting up and going to the kitchen. In the fridge, there was some food, I took out and ate. It was the kitchen at my previous house, and house I grew up in. Someone on the phone or online was talking about his lucid dreams but it seemed like he only posted dreams once every 2 weeks. I wanted to ask him if he posted dreams only then, or if I actually only did dreaming practices once every 2 weeks, for competition.

      Then I guess some other stuff happened I'm not sure of or it shifted. Next thing I remember is being on a beach. There was also a forum icon of (C) with a guitar. She had brown hair. It was interesting to actually see her. I wondered why she wanted to put up her photo on her avatar in that setting.

      Next, I was at a beach. A young woman, pregnant, asked my friend and I if we wanted to talk towards the shore. The ground was dense with cigarette butts. I was even holding a long cancer stick with yellow and white, but trying to throw it away. i hadn't smoked it and I didn't want anyone to think I had. There were black rocks and sand.

      My friend didn't want to go with her, but I did. So I guess we started walking there. Then it kind of shifted to walking into this dormitory or college house thing. (RK) and some other guys from that house were talking about smoking weed, and offered me some. "No thanks, I've been clean a long time and I want to keep going," I said. It seemed like a tough choice but I was clear on it. They went to smoke more.

      Something about how I went upstairs. And walked around. I don't know who else was there, maybe (MC). I'm getting a flash back of (DF) in a dream scene but only a "tip of the tongue" thing. Some stuff happened upstairs. Maybe (JA) was there.

      I remember to go back downstairs, the only option was a really steep drop. It was like a 3-4 inch wide conveyor belt at an 80 degree angle from the ground. Someone easily went down it so I did, too. It worked fine and I was on the ground. I had felt a lot of fear before that. There turned out to be a wooden ladder against the wall.

      We saw that the orange door had been shredded at the bottom. Kind of like a cat door had been made by shredding the bottom of that door. Uh-oh! Now people might break in. (MC) and others (I think) said that it was okay. They had four people on as security guards all night, with guns. So no one could successfully intrude.

      There were some boards they considered boarding it up with. I figured, why even let someone have a chance to crawl in like that? But it didn't seem like it would line up right. One of the boards was all water logged and wavy so we threw that to the side.

      Then there was this thing with an older man cartoon character showing everyone how to heat up a special kind of rifle and launch fire balls. He demonstrated sliding the bolt action (I don't know exactly what kind of gun its called) back and forth repeatedly, which generated friction. Then he rapid fired bullets out and every bullet became a bigger and bigger fire ball. I remember watching and wondering how they did that. The bolt action was circular and went around the whole barrel.

      Then it showed Master Roshi in the sky, on a cloud, with a halo. There were some other DBZ Style characters in space. One was like Mr. Satan but he had some purple coloring and a halo. He was on a cloud, too. It was more surreal, so my memory is blurry. They were in a blue sky.

      I remember something about Goku catching two villains and detaining them. Two other villains seemed un-caught. I was thinking to myself what Dragon Ball this must be. "Dragon Ball Cosmic?" And what kind of dragon balls it would be, now that they already did Super. "Cosmic Dragon Balls?"

      I think that was all I remembered of that part.

      Then it shifted to where I was watching a family of monsters. They were at a circular dinner table, in a kind of dim room, and they seemed to be sitting to dinner. There were three child monsters and one big adult monster. The child monsters forms varied but they were the same color, kind of a Plankton Green with red stripes usually. The dream showed the 3 child monsters turning their expressions into glares, one by one, at the big adult monster.

      I forgot how the big adult monster responded. Maybe glared back. Not sure, but it got really tense in the room.

      I dreamed of trying to put on my grey winter coat to go to school. It was going to be cold out. I had a shoe box with my stuff in it. I thought I'd wear the grey coat all day in the building. But then remembered how much they crank the heat in there, and decided I probably would want to take it off.

      The last thing I remember is dreaming of being on a phone meeting. I talked about some things as if I was explaining what happened last time, then asked if I could share about my particular trauma. No one seemed to answer. I almost did but held back, not being able to tell what was holding me back, or what I really wanted to say. Then I woke up, and recalled the dream, staying perfectly still a while to think it through.

      After solidifying it in my head I typed all this out. Now its probably 3 AM so that's 5-6 hours of sleep I got so far.


      Another interesting set of dreams. I feel groggier so I hope I get them right.

      I think the earliest I remembered was being in my room with some other people. A younger guy was asking about how to write songs. I told him that if he really wanted to write like me, he would have to get clean and sober. I told him I write like 20,000 words a day and if I drank alcohol or smoked anything or whatever, I definitely wouldn't. I'm not sure if it helped him.

      I found myself watching Youtube clips of various things, wondering if I had relapsed on that habit. Then I was like, "No, its just one video, I'm okay." But I felt worried. It was a Spongebob music video. However, I couldn't close it or turn off the volume. I was freaking out, yelling, cursing, wanting this thing to shut off. Also it was around 4AM and I wanted to go back to sleep.

      Eventually, it shut off. I was hungry so I got my jar of peanuts and put some water in it. I figured the water would make them softer. Then I would brush my teeth after eating them. But I wondered what I was doing, and didn't want all that water to keep me up. The water had peanut-dust floating on the top.

      Next I went out of my room for something. There are some details I forgot. There were raccoons. I remember a raccoon's tail poking out of a drawer. It was nestled in there. I thought of dogs that would protect us from the raccoons eating all our stuff.

      Oh, there was one interesting part, not sure when. But I drew an optical illusion thing that could have been waves in and ocean and a sky with clouds, or it could have been a grassy field with trees. I felt happy with the drawing. Maybe I will try to draw it in waking life.

      So I headed back to my room. Then I went out again to make sure that raccoon wouldn't eat all the clothes in the drawer. Two more raccoons were out. They were very aggressive, and chased me. I ran back to my room, narrowly escaping them. Fear!

      Once I was back in my room, the dream showed a black background with white lines, drawing of me climbing up the loft bed while raccoons still chased me. But in cartoon form.

      I feel unsure as to what comes next. Well, I know I was on the computer again.

      Then I was at this wedding thing. I asked someone to speak. They said they don't like to speak in front of large groups. Their assistant (female) agreed.

      Someone spoke up front. My friend (MM) had put a website online where he sold snack foods at high prices. He wanted people to buy it from him but it seemed to me that no one would, because it would be so much less money to get it in the store. We talked about how something like a one dollar item might have a higher percent mark-up than a ten thousand dollar item, so selling one dollar items might be more profitable overall.

      I remember walking through the church, going down stairs backwards. Wondering about all this religious stuff in the church. But afraid to comment that I don't like all the religious stuff, since most people seemed all into it, and they would be against me.

      I went to the cafeteria thing to get food. There was a metal thing that opened and closed where the dirty dishes went. I put my dirty dishes there. One of the men from the kitchen came to the dish place and saw that hot cocoa was spilling. He took a dirty cup and caught some of it to drink. "Chocolate!" he said. He happened to be Hispanic but I am not being racist, just mentioning the dream detail, for completeness sake!

      I was thinking of how to get a cup of decaf men's coffee. In my mind there was men's coffee and women's coffee. (A) was talking to someone. I overheard their conversation, but now I don't remember what it was about.

      Next I remember the wedding almost going to start. The actual ceremony, not just speakers. I went out to a car and there didn't seem to be a drivers side door. Then I found it. It was a little sports car but I could stand up inside it when i went in. I put something on the back dashboard thing by the back window, maybe a mirror. It seemed to go far back.

      I was changing my shirt and putting on a suit. Some older people walked by on the way to the wedding and saw me changing but I didn't care.

      There was something about how (A) married someone but something was different about his wife's reproductive system. So there was some difficulty having children. However it showed three kids in a driveway, near some cars, playing. So I'm not sure what it was saying.

      I was cognizant of having eaten. So I couldn't put on my retainer without brushing my teeth. However I didn't want to be late to the wedding for brushing my teeth, so I thought that I would just go without my retainer. But I kind of wanted to be seen with it in, not without, so I was torn.

      How did the rest of that go? I think that was it. Now its 5:16 AM so I must have slept from 3:30 to 4:30, maybe a little longer, making me at 6-7 hours of sleep. This is perfect timing and its likely I will get one more sleep cycle.


      Cool! I got one more sleep cycle. However, my dream recall was not as thorough. I remember dreaming of a guy with a grey/silver sports car. Something about the car caused back pain or something like that. He wanted help with it. I drove something else. I remember pulling through a gas station, on the right hand side. making a left onto a road and then a right back onto the road I was on. Not to evade a light. Not sure why. I remember still seeing the silver/grey sports car again. We got to the woods and the road ended. Also we were walking but I think the cars just dissappeared, we didn't get out of them. As we walked through the woods, I noticed the pavement come to an end. Some guy in the woods might have been aggressive toward us or something I'm not sure.

      Next thing I remember is being in front of a TV in my Nana's living room. I remember something was playing on the TV or on my laptop that was kind of disturbing, something I didn't want to see. However, I closed my eyes, and still saw it.

      I had a rack with Pokemon card packs in it and other things. Something about playing catch. A cartoonish thing. I had taken one Pokemon card pack, opened it, and stuffed 3-4 more unopened packs in it, as a surprise to someone. It was noticably thicker though. A reddish and bluish color. There was another kind of pack on the rack. The rack was clear plastic with compartments.

      In another part I was supposed to move my stuff out of the room in my Nana's house. It was Saturday, Sunday, Monday. They expected me to do it by Sunday but I said it could wait, since I don't have to work Monday.

      In the last scene I remember, my sister had got home from a field trip. Instead of going straight back to school, my parents wanted her to stay home for a debriefing. So she could process the trip before being put right back into more activity. I remember her writing on paper, each line at first, then skipping lines.

      I woke up from that and kind of drew a blank. I managed to latch on to a few details but I think there was more. It's okay. I got alot of dreams tonight. I must have woke up from that at 6:30-6:40 so it makes another hour of sleep, putting me at 7-8 in total again. I guess that's alright.


      Another thing I did was 3,279 words of waking life recall. As thorough as possible. If I can keep up with it I want to see if that boosts my dream recall word count.
      lucid , non-lucid , memorable
    9. 2,645 words

      by , 05-19-2018 at 01:23 AM
      Thursday... I was probably asleep by 9 or 930. Off comp around 830, pretty exhausted.


      I got up once and remembered two dream fragments very vaguely. I think one was a forum thread but I forgot what forum. The other seems more involved but I lost them. Fell back asleep quickly.


      The next round of dreams I remembered in more detail. In the beginning, there was a big scene with Vegeta fighting Dabura. Dabura was huge, like his head was 5 times as tall as Vegeta. I thought it was waking life and a Youtube Clip. It scared me. I wanted to not look. However there were moments when Vegeta pummeled Dabura. I wanted to loop those to feel more hopeful, even though Vegeta seemed to lose.

      I think there were more such moments. Something intense happened to the planet. Not sure. I remember trees in that scene.

      I remember being in a food store. Something with one or two Oriental or Hispanic people.

      Maybe something with a dog. Not sure.

      Now my memory gets clearer. I was in a cafeteria room thing. (G), my first girlfriend from when I was about 14, was there. She was dating someone else.

      We were in a cafeteria with circular tables. I got dessert and sat with (G). Now we were together and the guy she was with was gone. Something about eating the dessert. A little is vague here. I got up to get something else we wanted.

      Walking to the front, I knocked over the projector rollout screens twice. People seemed mad at me. The thumb tacks went rolling on the floor. People were like, "You'll never find those push pins." But I easily found them. I attributed my ocular focus to something but I forgot what.

      Then I went outside. I guess I ran one way or maybe just ended up in a parking lot. Not sure. There was something about how it had been snowing. I only had my sneakers, but I was gonna have to run accross the football field to get something, before it was too late. So I didn't want my sneakers to have to be all wet but they would. However it became warm without me noticing.

      I clearly remember being in a parking lot and hearing (SD) and (JV) talking about dating.

      As I heard them talk, I started running through the parking lot, back to the building down the road. I ran between some parked cars. Other cars were pulling in. I looked to the window for smoke, but no one was. 'Wow, lucky day,' I thought.

      Running speed was good. In the dream context, I was thinking of how I hadn't lifted heavy in a week, and this would make me run much faster. I started to jump about 5 feet with one leg. 'Wow,' I thought. 'What a good way of running. I should always run like this.' Not realizing it was a dream.

      There was a field to my left as I approached the building. I had to cross it to go in. So I went in there. There were four Japanese women with glowing auras. They had a disc they would play catch with, without touching the disc. They floated above it and rotated it underneath them, between their ankles, then above their head, then passed it. The aura was golden and the disc was reddish. It was dark out.

      I joined right in, feeling confident that I could do it too. Without realizing it was a dream, I levitated and telekenetically passed the disc back to them. At some point I fumbled a little, and the woman on the left laughed. I wasn't too offended or anything, but I wished they would have noticed the skill I did spontaneously demonstrate, instead of kind of judging me. What do they expect? I've never done it before.

      I ran accross the field some more and back into the school. Someone wanted red volley balls. I got into the gymnasium and there was a whole big hammock (like a 50 by 50 hammock) covered in red volley balls. Maybe it was superhumanly high up. However I was able to knock some down. So someone played with a red volley ball.

      At some point my friend (E) turned out to be there. Apparently he had been there all along because I was his ride home. It was getting late as I was managing time with (G), time with another woman, a class thing, and getting my stuff to the car. "You could do my bidding," I suggested to (E). "I don't want to do your bidding," he replied.

      He had assumed I was doing something highly illegal. So I just explained how I needed him to keep (G) company while I got to my class and picked up my stuff. It was late, too, perhaps approaching midnight. He understood that and agreed, since it would speed things up, for him to get home. He was wearing grey, too. I thought (E) and (G) might like each other and that was no problem.

      With them there in the cafeteria, and (G) not alone any more, I went up to the class. At the same time, I think that (E) and (G) came upstairs and joined us. I felt estranged from (G) and she gravitated towards some of her friends. One of her friends had blonde hair. Then as a group I think we all walked up stairs. I remember sprinting up stairs at least once, maybe multiple times. In a big hurry, very overwhelmed.

      We got to the upper class room and there was a counselor. It was like group therapy. However, all 6 to 10 people wrote every word the therapist said, for legal reasons. I saw some and it looked like inner child writing, but people were using their right hand. However my dream had still rendered it as inner child writing, which many times it renders handwriting as.

      There was a form handed out with some boxes for things like SSN and all that. I either took one for later or left it. Sorry this part is a little jumbled. I had to go downstairs and back up. I had a key to get back into the building. It got later and (E) and (G) had to wait more. Eventually I ran back up to the class room with (E) to get what I'd left there. Wanted to take a storage bin but they were all full. So I just got everything in my arms. It was very chaotic.

      I hadn't filled out the form thing, so I needed to take another to do while I was away. I got really mad when there didn't seem to be another. I began to curse and fume. Then with (E) there, I kinda caught myself. "Sorry, (E). I was just getting angry. I'm trying to work on that." I didn't curse and fume as much any more, and found a folded up form I could take. It was folded up into a square thing.

      Then we went back downstairs. I forgot what else happened with (E) and (G). I remember seeing the blue bin in the therapist's office with papers sideways in it. Maybe something happened at the end, or maybe it just faded out.

      I had another mini dream thing where there was concern for some water blasts going accross the land. It showed these two streams of water like a Hydro Pump shooting accross some land. People were concerned that it was bad for the Earth. However, it was not man made, but a natural phenomenon. I think that was it, for that part of the dream.

      Cool! So I got these down. Kind of sad about the first round of dreams. I didn't recall much anyway but I'll keep my Voice Recorder running just for those small tid bits that I wouldn't want to go through all the trouble of opening up the computer for.

      I'm happy about this dream. Wow! Now, it's 4:14 AM. So I must have slept until about 3:15. 9, to probably 1, up a little, then 3:15, so, 6 to 7 hours of sleep. I'll probably manage to get one or two more sleep cycles... Hopefully two.


      Okay, so now, its 5:56. It took a while to sleep so I must have only slept 30-45 minutes. So now I'm at 7-8 hours, closer to 7.

      I might have forgot some earlier parts. My memory of it starts with being at my Nana's. Some stuff happened with my Aunt C, Uncle C, Nana, maybe Dad. Not sure. I might have woke up a moment, recalled, something, and fell back asleep. Maybe, maybe not.

      I remember being in my Nana's drive way and there were some cars there and some plants. I ducked under some plants to escape something and was afraid the plants would make me itchy. Examining them, I saw they probably weren't poison ivy. But still worried.

      After a computer part, I was in a room with couches. I was one of 8 to 12 actors there, being prepared for a movie. A young kid came and sat next to me. I felt a warmth but he hadn't touched me. I think it made me get lucid or I got lucid shortly after.

      There was one guy there who was hung over and being abusive. Really not in a good place. bags under his eyes and such.

      He was especially abusive toward a darker haired guy there. I guess everyone else ignored it. I forgot what else happened, maybe the director was saying some stuff. I tend to hone in on whose being abusive due to childhood.

      So then everyone seemed to dissappear, and I was definitely lucid. I think one woman was in the room. I felt overwhelmed, like I had been dreaming forever.

      I have these square wall mirrors from Target. They have no frame, just like 12' by 12' squares. There was one in the same shape but gold, and another green one, both still reflective. The gold one seemed to call out to me, 'Come and pick me up!' But it was more of a feeling.

      I went over and picked it up. It had a yellow square character on there and a grey square it was on top of. The grey square was just an outline of a square. There were some words like "Im Ib Il" but I don't remember them now. I tried to read them out loud, and managed to pronounce them.

      I looked at myself in the mirror, crying out. "I have to remember all this!!!" Just feeling overwhelmed by how much there was to remember. I guess my dream-state-self has learned that after many dreams which seem so vivid and memorable, I wake up drawing several blanks on key parts. There is alot of sadness there but we are continuing to make progress on bridging the worlds.

      Eventually I put the mirror down and noticed the green one. I looked around, being lucid. There was a young person on a computer. I went and sat near them. They were looking up things and I saw words on the screen. They seemed nervous. I wasn't sure what to say. I had sat on their left side.

      There was a woman at a computer accross the room. I went to see what she was doing. Not really thinking of wanting to fly or eat stuff or any of those possibilities, just being more social I guess. The woman was doing meetup groups. Thoughts of more things to ask her came to mind, as if I had the chance to do the "talk to your subconscious mind in a dream" thing. However, the dream ended.

      False awakening! The dream ended but it was a false awakening. I had to go to the bathroom but didn't want to!!! I just wanted to write my dream. One woman in the room was playing some hip hop song which said "I want my life back" and other parts. In a male voice.

      My dream journal chair was as it was. My pillows had blue pillow cases and I was gonna have to arrange them. I got up to use the restroom anyway. There were pots and pans around that I tried to pee in, to save time. But the bathroom was right there, so I went. The lights were on. That could be a dream sign. But I didn't get lucid.

      The toilet was tiny, like one gallon. I started to fill it up. It was very yellow in color which usually isn't in waking life, more clear. After trying a metal stove pot on the side that was already almost full too, I heard the lyric "I want my life back" and realized I was gonna need to ask these people to turn that off for me to dream journal.

      I went back out there and I think I tried setting up the chair. The dream details spun in my head and I was trying to hold them.

      I was relieved when I had an actual physical awakening because all the dream details weren't delayed. I was able to slowly collect them back.

      Lately when I try to recall dreams, I notice there are other competing thoughts. There usually were, to some extent, but I had an easier time focusing back on the dream. This is no surprise the other thoughts come up stronger, because I am more active in some other areas of my waking life. However, I wish I could be totally, 100% focused on my dream recall at those times, with nothing else "in my way". So I will keep practicing that. In 2022 I will have 10 yrs of dream recall so I will be even stronger then.

      Now its 6:28. I doubt I will get back to sleep. 7-8 hours is like minimum for me. I'll try to lay back down.


      Started the day.
    10. ~4100 words

      by , 05-18-2018 at 01:34 AM
      Ok. 8:37 getting off the comp for bed.


      Okay! So, it took me a while to fall asleep. Maybe an hour, but I made it. I had one mini dream of a little wet cloth touching a side of a bath tub. There was some kind of special word in it.

      Then I woke up a little, recalled it, and fell back asleep. The next dream was something short. I recalled it and fell back asleep. Now I can't remember what it was.

      This next one got more involved. It seemed to be about my appointment tomorrow with (J). So where did it start? I was looking all over for my paper. I remember running in the woods. Running in the woods, thinking this will fix my dopamine receptors. At the arboretum. I remember it felt cool to run, and feel my lungs breathe.

      The paper had his phone number on it. I hoped it was the right number. I called, and it turned out to be. But, it was an older woman. I was also running around upstairs to close the windows. Wind was blowing in. I didn't want to lose all the heat once it got cold at night.

      My Nana, Aunt C, Uncle C, Dad, Mom and sister were there. Maybe others. I remember using the land line phone and thinking of my cell phone. Hm, this memory is a little more jumbly than I thought.

      We were on a hill. The hill led down to a shore line on the beach.

      I remember my Uncle and Dad saying something on the hill. It was night. Wow, I feel sad now. I thought that was gonna be alot more detailed when I wrote it.

      I think it ended with my Dad having these really weird legume type things. They looked like extra big, golden brown pieces of dried rosemary. And then there were these other things. White circular things with some spiky top.

      He said they were for helping go to the bathroom. They seemed too hard. Anyway, I think I took a few. He was going to give them to someone.

      Something with my lap top in there maybe. We confirmed the appointment.

      So I woke up and recalled that. However, I fell back asleep. This time by mistake. The other two times I chose to go back to sleep since it has just been a moment of a dream.

      I dreamed of my room mate from college. I had been taking college courses but also playing guitar for 1.5 hours a day. Learning lots of songs, really fast. I remember thinking of how I played some impressive songs at a party.

      I was out in town, near buildings and pavement and side walks. I was zooming in and out of something with a stair case, on my phone.

      There was a rapper doing a song. I can't remember the words now. It's the first time I thought of it. But I knew who it was. The top of the stair case seemed to change.

      Then I sat at the top of the stair case. About to do something else on my phone. I grabbed a pencil and tried to use the eraser side as a stylus and it made giant gashes in my screen.

      'Oh no!' I thought, and tried to rub the screen clean. Nope, there were deep, deep gashes in the screen. I thought of asking my Dad if he could find another one of these Samsung Galaxies on sale at Amazon. But not sure how I'd do my hand-writing app with all these bumps.

      I tried to run the stylus over them. It didn't seem like good news. I felt angry or sad or grief. I looked at the pencil eraser. There were some metal parts exposed that looked razor sharp. I felt like someone had planted it there to trick me into scratching up my phone.

      Then I woke up in my physical bed. What a relief. Phone screen destruction night mares used to be alot more common. But then they went away so I stopped using it as a dream sign. I wasn't prepared! Oh well.

      I also had a moment of maybe dream journaling in the dream. It said a name.

      I thought, okay. That must be what I dreamed about in that second round of dreams. But maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. It was what I dreamed of dream journaling is all I am sure of.

      Okay! It's only 12:03 AM, meaning I slept 2-3 hours so far. Weird, it felt like more sleep. Okay, back to bed! Wish me luck falling asleep!


      Okay! I just woke up and recalled another round. Here it is.

      Nana's. My memory starts with me at Nana's. I remember being with my sister in Nana's room. She was on the chez lounge.

      I think there was something with my Mom and Dad that's vague. Maybe a spill in the bathroom. I remember standing in a big sun spot in Nana's dining room. "It is so warm in this sun spot," I said to my sister and others nearby. There might have been a big plant there.

      I think Nana's front door was open. I think there was alot more to that part which got forgotten as the dream went on.

      In the next scene I remember, I had some kind of pie thing. Someone else was taking it. I only remember this vaguely.

      I got lured to this opening to a trail where bees flew around. I saw the bee go for my pie. I think one of them, I protected myself, and its upper body imploded. So only its thorax was flying. (I don't harm bugs in waking life. Guess I felt threatened in the dream.) There was another bee, so I ran.

      I wish I could remember the part before that. Blah.

      When I ran back into the field or courtyard thing, there were spider webs sealing off each exit. They appeared quickly over the entrance I'd just come in by. It was brown dirt and outdoors.

      I decided to get a stick and gently move one web so I could go out. I was still running, I think from the bee. (I also usually avoid breaking a spider's web in waking life due to all that hard work they did.)

      When I turned around, a big furry mongoose snake hybrid poked its head out. It was brown. It didn't come at me though. When I turned around again another animal thing came out from the other side.

      There may have been a Pokemon part.

      After some unsureness, my memory starts at a library. I remember red stair cases. I remember night mode on screens. I remember wanting to print something.

      My friend was using the computer by the printer to print his book. He told me I should get his book. Sorry, I wasn't really interested. I sat down, waiting for his book to finish. Some spiritual advisor guy sat down near me, talking to someone else. It sounded like program talk, very white-light and that kind of thing.

      I started doing hyperventilating breathing and punching my legs, also growling. This was kind of because I needed to and also to be sure to make those pasty program people remember anger. I was angry about something. I forgot what it was now.

      I also remember looking at all the library shelves, and what stairs to go up.

      When I sat back down, I noticed a black hand gun was on the table. No one seemed to notice it, so I put it into my bag. In the context of the dream, it was my gun, but I wasn't planning on hurting anyone. I wasn't sure why I had it.

      I must have got up, done something else, and come back. When I came back, the gun was out of my bag again, on the table. Was someone taking it out of my bag as a hint? Then, the guy behind the counter put on his headphones, and brandished a silver night stick. "You might wanna go use the bathroom," he said, hinting that I should leave my bag there again, so they could finish confiscating the gun.

      "It's not what you think," I tried to explain. Then I woke up briefly and recalled it, then fell back asleep into the same dream. I was pretty relieved when I woke up and found that it had just been a dream.

      When I got back to that, I was going up stairs in the library. Looking for tissues to blow my nose comes to mind. Oh, I had alot of boogers. I had so many boogers all over my hand. I also saw lots of boogers rubbed on the wall so I figured I'd rub my boogers there too.

      Afraid the people would be suspicious why I'd left, I got ready to explain to them, how I was embarrassed about the boogers. Once I got further up, there was a big vat thing with fluid. I heard DG saying that he got a full time job through this new government program.

      That's what it was. There was a new job program from the government, giving people more jobs. I was not interested, but DG was excited about it.

      He said how he was working a full time job, and taking classes at night, to advance. This seemed silly to me. Trying to cram in too much.

      I guess I went back down and my back pack was there. I think I typed some things or tried to manage my print-outs. I forgot what MK's book was about. But I know the pages were coming out in night mode. I was afraid I'd have to return another day to print. This seemed not fun because I wanted to have it done.

      Then I guess the library was closing. Some people were upstairs.

      Another image or scene pops to my mind so vaguely though. Just on the tip of my tongue. Ah, no way of unraveling it.

      BZ called something down to me.

      So BZ calls something down to me. I reply with, "You dirty rotten smoker!! Why don't you quit smoking?" Something like that. So he came on his way down.

      The group of them got down stairs and came towards me. I thought of my gun in my bag, just in case, but was afraid to pull it out. In case it would just get me in trouble.

      BZ became C and C walked right towards me. I started apologizing and gave him a hug. "I'm so sorry I called you that. I am just so upset about the smoke. But it was mean." We hugged for a while. He was kind of pinching a nerve in my back but he stopped. His clothes didn't smell like smoke, as I feared they would.

      Because we were both males, the body positioning was a little awkward. I began to realize this after a while. So it got kinda awkward and so we kinda backed away. I guess that showed that by not having a gun, I had to use other means to make it safe for myself, like making amends. But if I'd had a gun, I wouldn't need to make amends. (I don't own guns in waking life.)

      Then, it shifted, and lots of people started to stampede through. It became a long corridor. (I'm getting a little flash back of an earlier scene but IDK how to unravel it!) There were lots of African American people. Two men had silver or chrome teeth but with braces on top of that. I was like, "Awesome teeth!" And then I saw Ira. I was like, "Awesome teeth, Ira!"

      Then two women were to my left. More elderly women. One gestured toward the other, and she showed me a big tongue ring. It was like a straight poke-through piercing. I said something like, "Cool, thanks for showing me!"

      As I ran with them, I remembered that I want to recall that earlier part with the bugs. I had a sense I'd have an easy time remembering all those dreams. When I woke up, that proved not to be the case... I got the library parts but had some blank spots for the other earlier parts.

      You know that feeling when you know for sure there was a dream detail there, but just not what it was? I figure if I know it was there, there's gotta be a way to unravel it.

      Okay, now it's 2:40 AM in waking life time. I got 2-2.5 hours of sleep or 5-6 total so far. Hopefully I will get another 3-4 but just seeing how it goes. A lucid would be nice! But most importantly, whatever it is, I just want to remember it very, very thoroughly.


      I remembered in the last dream, someone definitely conned me into giving them something, before the bug part. It might have been CR. Couldn't unravel further. Does anyone have experience with unraveling a really distant dream detail?

      Okay! I'm up with more dreams. My memory of these starts with Walter White from Breaking Bad, sitting with his back to a wall. He was saying how he and his wife would do anything to get out of depression. I felt like I had an answer.

      There was more before that. At least 2 big scenes. There was something with an app. It said "Inner Child". It was a way of doing a phone meeting but from a special app with special features. Something about costing 3.99 or so. The screen was green.

      I was thinking the app wouldn't help, because for phone meetings, people could do those free. No one would go to ones they had to buy an app to go to.

      I forgot what else had happened earlier though.

      Then I guess I was in the app without having paid. I was being shown various talks and forum threads. There was a talk going on where they talked about how harming a child is wrong. And if the child is crying, the person causing it should stop. But they often don't.

      As I heard this, I cried deeply, realizing my trauma. I was sitting in my dream journal chair on recline, in front of a monitor. My sister and Dad were around. I was walking around at times and my sister wondered why I had to have that on, it was unpleasant to her. I had stationed little pieces of paper around the monitor area and heard my Dad (in my mind) complaining about the pieces of paper. They had trauma recovery stuff written on them.

      I felt bad that it might upset my Dad. He always seemed to "function" like a machine, no matter what, but if he began to heal from trauma I am sure that he would break down. Either way I think its something that can't be bypassed.

      I had been digging my feet into the ground unconsciously. When I went to sit back down, the whole bottom portion of the chair had caved in, because it didn't have the pillow underneath it properly. (Long story of how I designed my special chair). I saw that the legs of the chair had indented the tan carpet, and I had pushed it backwards by a foot. So I tried to adjust it back.

      50 Cent was doing a rap about Jay-Z and another rapper. Something about it was humorous. I tried to scroll back to loop the 5 minutes of the audio that was giving me so much catharsis over my trauma.

      I remember the pieces of paper with words, in the cups. I was sad about my trauma but also glad to be having the tears, since I want to heal. I am unable to cry in waking life due to brainwashing but I've had some healing weeps in dreams.

      Okay, so then, I think I woke up, and recalled all 3 scenes. The one I just said, the half of the one before it I said, and maybe the rest of the earlier parts I was unable to unravel.

      I must have drifted to sleep again, this time lucid. I found myself on the beach.

      I was with (A). In a kind of house thing but it only had the beams on each corner and roof... No walls! So we could see out to the beach all around. I guess it was for putting a tent over as needed.

      We were talking about something when I realized I was in a dream, and became lucid. He had a bowl of pasta with red sauce and parmesan cheese to eat. He sat up on a table and I stood on the ground there. I think I was talking to him first while he ate, but I wondered if I could have some food, too. Being that it was a dream, I would have loved to have had some italian food!

      I think I was telling (A) about my previous dream. He took a turn to speak, but while he spoke, he prepared his next bite of food, stirring around the sauce. As he finished speaking, he took a 2-3 inch diameter chunk of parmesan cheese to eat, and ate that. There were other big chunks too. He looked alot like (A) from waking life.

      There were some big meat balls in an oven. The oven was open but they seemed to be baking. Nothing seemed for me though. (A) said, "Looks like your pasta got really solid." And pointed to a brown rock near by, on a beam counter top thing.

      It was definitely a rock. But I wanted to have some fun here. He knew it was a very solid and hard rock. I looked at it, got ready, felt some doubts, but went for it anyway. Like I had intended, it became powder in my mouth. It was like a semi-sweet powder.

      (A) was pretty amazed. I offered him to test the remaining rock if it were still a rock. Sure enough, to him, it was a solid, hard stone. But I was able to bite it.

      "You must be so wise, that you're teaching me something, without acting like you know you are," I said to him. I meant that I thought he was lucid, too, but acting like he wasn't, to teach me. It felt like more of a shared dream than a subconscious dream.

      This is where it gets really interesting. And more what i feel are third-party entities come along.

      In the distance, I saw about 5 men with black hand guns approach. All wearing some soldier uniform, one brighter yellow green, one greener, I forgot the rest. Some helmets.

      I felt some fear as they approached. Being lucid, I got ready to fly. There was a beam I would first aim to jump to, then a roof higher up, which I could escape from.

      "Come with us," they ordered me. 'No,' I thought, and jumped up to the beam. I felt heavier, and hadn't flown yet in the dream. Maybe they were making me a little less able to fly. I aimed for the roof and jumped up. Got up about 10 feet but I would have needed another 5 feet.

      Looking down, I saw two of the men had the hand guns pointed at me. "Get down here like we said, or we'll shoot!" I didn't want to feel a bullet if I moved another inch. "Okay, I'm coming down," I said. "I'm coming down!! Don't shoot!!" I added, afraid they would just be so reactive that they'd fire anyway.

      I was afraid to go with them. It didn't seem like a good place to go... Where as I could talk about my trauma healing dream with (A), I felt my body go cold and numb when I got near these "dream agents" or whatever they were. But, I was gonna just go with them, I guess. I half expected it to be a long dream of me being imprisoned, questioned, something like that.

      When my feet touched the dream ground, I simply woke up. I don't know if I would have woke up if I'd have kept fighting, trying to fly away or deflect the bullets. If it was a shared dream with (A) it probably seemed kinda weird to see all that, if he woke up and remembered. But I could see how if (A) was non-lucid, the "dream police" would come to get me for doing alchemy on the stone. Still, I already did it! So, too late.

      I've heard of these dream police when showing off dream abilities. Maybe it's just a schema. Or maybe its an actual thing that happens "out there" in the shared-dream field and by accepting the reality of it, I can learn how to... Work around it, fight it, deal with it, etc. What do you think?

      Now it's 4:31 AM. I hope to sleep at least once more but maybe even twice. I think I've accumulated 6-7 hours of sleep by now. Need more!


      Alright! I got me some more dreams.

      First I dreamed of being in a restaurant I worked at growing up.

      Only it was criss-crossed to where the manager was someone from a different restaurant I'd worked at. It was early in the season. A couple had sat in the front at a square 4 top.

      T (The manager) had already taken some of their orders. I was surprised that he had memorized everything. The people started to tell me that they wanted wine coolers. They already seemed to have cups so I was confused.

      I sat down with them and said, "I haven't worked here in a year!" My voice sounded different. I remember the windows in the front, and the dark brown. I forgot if anything else happened.

      I woke up, recalled that, and went back to sleep. "No way I'll forget that," I thought. However, I almost did forget it... after I woke up and recalled the next dream, it took me quite a while to dig that one back up.

      Well, I fell back asleep, and had another dream. I was on the computer. Then I decided to go on a forum. Before I could make it to the forum, I woke up.

      I woke up and recalled those, then recovered the memory of the restaurant dream. I decided to let myself go back to sleep before recording because they were short dreams.

      My last dream I dreamed about a computer again.

      I dreamed I was in my back yard too. So, I woke up, recalled those, and got up and typed.

      Now its 7:20 AM meaning I slept another 2 hours. So now I have 8-9 hours of sleep under my belt. It still seems like not enough, and that I could sleep more. I will see if thats possible and if not, start my day.


      Well, looks like its time to start my day. I can always nap if I'm tired. That was really nice to have a full night sleep again.
    11. 2,183 words

      by , 05-15-2018 at 11:50 AM
      I got off the computer around 7 and stopped taking in any media. That's kinda my policy now since I need processing time. I think I was asleep by my goal time of 9.

      Okay so dream one not much was recalled. I recalled driving through a crowd of people to get to a mall. I had my windows wide open because I thought I knew the people. When i realised I didn't know them, I quickly shut my windows, afraid of smoke.

      I came accross some friends sitting against a wall. P S and J R and some others. But I don't remember what we did or said.

      There was another part to that dream I initially recalled but then fell asleep!

      I dreamed again and woke from them. This time it was a little clearer but still groggy. I remembered something with being at a food store. Something about needing to use the bathroom.

      I was at my Nana's. She cooked for us. I was trying to do something on my phone. There were alot of alerts on my recovery forum. I was telling someone that if they use machines for exercises, make sure their back isn't held in place, so they can adjust the angle. Trying to explain that.

      There was a bully at my Nana's. He was talking about something abusively or just something that felt wrong to me, at Nana's table, with another friend. I called him out on it. He was a big guy. He tried to invalidate me. I continued writing my thing, beginning to fume.

      Then 6 of us were going to give talks about a recovery topic.

      My turn was last. A glass was rolling around on the floor. I was afraid the bully guy was going to say, "Just skip his turn! Let's get out of here!" I saw him more and more as a sick and wounded person, and that's where his bullying came from. Not really an evil person but acting quite hurtfully towards me, in his diseased thinking and defense mechanisms. Out of touch with true feelings.

      So before he could speak, I said that it's my turn, and I don't want him to cut me off. He kind of laughed, tauntingly. I felt it was hard to speak. My voice was so quiet. The guy at the front of the room was wearing a dark black or grey shirt with yellow pumpkin carving moon design things semicircley things on it. He said, "Wrap it up" or "Hurry it up." This is always a huge trigger for me - Being told to not talk as much or something. Being oppressed, rushed, or made to feel unimportant. Not given the chance to be fully heard.

      I had already been thinking of saying it in 5 sentences though since I genuinely wanted to go, too. My first sentence was, "I was born with trauma." Then I woke up. Oh, it had just been a dream.

      I woke up, recalled and recorded that one. Then laid down to get back to zleep.

      Falling asleep didn't seem like it was gonna happen. My legs were fidgety. But luckily, it happened. I'm glad I didn't give up because I had alot of wakefulness within my dream.

      I thought I'd try just typing this instead of voice recording. Okay so initially I had a dream which was kind of underwater. It was like Sponge Bob, Mr. Krabs, Patrick, and other characters in some fight or something. It's kinda vague to me now because as you will see, the dream chain went on quite a while.

      Okay so then the next thing was that I was going through a bin. It had a Pokemon crystal cartridge, but with no label. Then I was in a class room, talking to a dream figure.

      She said that she didn't like classes. I remember the teacher was up front of the class and there were other kids there. I told her grades weren't such a big deal. Hey eyes opened wide at the revelation. I liked talking to her and felt I was being helpful. Not telling her to go live recklessly but just to have some balance in her life and let go of all the pressure and perfectionism.

      Then everyone disappeared! I think I became lucid somewhere in there. Forgot exactly how. It must have just dawned on me.

      Then I walked around and came accross a heavier set guy near a bus. He reminded me of someone I'd seen before, but now, I'm not sure who. I decided to talk to him.

      "How are you?" I asked. "So, so," he replied. The words stuck with me. I don't remember the rest of the conversation, but it was pretty interesting.

      Next there was a bus driver. We were near a yellow bus. There was something with maybe the bus driver being mean. I'm not quite sure.

      I think there was a whole scene with non-human beings of some sort. but it got to be such a long dream chain that the details must have just faded.

      What I remember next! Is waking up to dream journal. But in a false awakening! The light was on bright in my room. I was sitting at the edge of my bed and leaning on a light goldenrod brown colored table.

      There was pop music playing, of a female singer. Playing loudly. I started to wonder how to turn that off. Then I realized that was my dream sign! So this might be a dream. I proceeded a bit cautiously, not being sure. I also noticed although I was sitting up to write, my voice recorder was also out.

      I don't know if I tried a finger palm test then but I remember jumping up to fly. When I stayed in the air a bit extra longer, I got the sense it must be a dream.

      I think that I had 3 more dream chains after this one but when I tried to recall it, I couldn't quite tell. So I will just do my best here.

      I think the next part of the dream chain was the same dream. I flew downstairs and found lots of food. Ah it is so painful not knowing what I missed. I have this inner feeling there was something else cool but I just couldn't recall it. Just on the tip of my tongue, teasing me.

      After flying around a little in the living room, I realized the dream was pretty stable. So I decided to go to the fridge. Then I realized there was food all around. Maybe it just appeared. Pretzels, white frosting dip in a tall tube, some sandwich things I think, and then a yellow-crust pie with purple filling appeared. The crust was really flaky.

      Eating dream food is a really expansive feeling for me because I have food allergies in waking life. So I can hardly eat anything. So eating a big variety of dream food is akin to traveling the universe for me. The feeling of just being able to eat whatever I want, whenever I want, is something I can have only in a dream.

      So I enjoyed the foods. I remember the pretzel was soft. I was like, "Why did Dad leave these all here?" More of a waking life thought. Then I thought of something sweeter and the pie appeared. And I dipped the pretzel generously in a big tube of white frosting. It definitely tasted sweet. I forgot the exact order of the earlier dream foods.

      Maybe I rubbed my hands to stay stable around here. I know I did it at one point. Another thing was I went to drink water. I figured taking a drink of water in the dream would make me more stable because of hydration? I don't know but it made sense to me then. So I picked up a big poland spring thing. One of the ones that is like a 3 gallon water dispenser, the big plastic one. And drank from that.

      I think I woke up briefly, thought about it, and popped back into it. At this point I saw the food again and wanted to be really sure it was a dream. I think a podcast or radio thing with a woman's voice was also playing.

      Oh yeah I forgot. When I was floating before I tried a front flip but it didn't work.

      My finger palm tests this time were very interesting. They made a kind of stringy bubble appear on the other side of my hand. I did it 4 times, just enjoying the sensation. I also attributed some dream stability to it. When I was sure, I went for more dream food.

      Once I was satisfied with that, I decided to move on. Also I heard something coming, down the stairs! I became a little wary and went to the wall behind the stairs. I saw its back and it was a grey lego K'Nex creature.

      I felt afraid of it. Like I had been dreaming so long that it was here to destroy me! So once it passed through the kitchen a bit (moving slowly) I went for the front door to escape.

      It seemed to notice me and begin to turn around. Before I could make it to the front door. So I ran the other way to the back of the house where the kitchen door would be. However, I was surprised to find a glass door going outside to the back yard... In the middle, where the bathroom would have been!

      I ran for that, hoping to jump and phase through it, saving time. Then I started to doubt myself. I wondered if the door just wouldn't open. So it was very expectational.

      The door did open though, and I got out. I remember the door handles were interesting. The looked complex, designed to lock me in. As soon as I got a little bit out of there, I popped back into my bed, once more.

      I feel I am missing a whole entire segment from my memory. This is what happens to some of my REM Rebound dreams when I have had insomnia. Really long dream, sometimes very lucid, but too long to remember it! And too groggy or rusty from being low on sleep and out of practice recalling longer dreams. So I guess for me regular sleep patterns would be ideal and give a higher percentage recall.

      Then I laid in bed and the ringing got to be very intense. It almost scared me. More ringing than usual. At first I just laid there, seeing if I'd pop into a dream on my own. But then I decided to get up. I knew it wasn't my physical body moving, but a "dream" or "astral" body.

      I stood up on my bed, still only experiencing self-proprieception, but having no sight. Like I could feel my limbs moving and my direction and all that but no sight except black. I put my arms up overhead and jumped toward my ceiling. As I jumped, I thought something like, "I want to go to a pleasant place" but those weren't the exact words. I don't remember the exact words but they felt just right.

      I remember thinking that I'd like to go to a really nice expansive place. Or some place where I could face an issue, but where I'd have the strength to face it, and the support, too. Not just a place where I'd be totally steam rolled.

      Well I appeared in space, surrounded by square screens or photographs. I flew around and looked at each one hanging there in space. I tried pulling some things out of the photos into 3 dimensional. In one case I got to eat salmon locks.

      I just got a HUGE influx of the memory I lost. Something canine. Unfortunately it faded afterwards. Just on the tip of my tongue again.

      Okay so I woke up after a little more exploration of the photographs. This time I was clearly in my physical bed, no false awakening or anything like that. I thought the dreams through.

      As usual, and I will note this 100,000 times, during the dream, I felt so sure that I'd just remember it all with the utmost ease and detail. But once I woke up I realized... Oh, yeah. Uh. Wait, what just happened? So, that's just that.

      I'm glad to have had such a lengthy dream. I wanted to type it right after I recalled it, instead of voice recording, then waiting to type it that day, which could be redundant. It was weird because after I recalled it, I was like, jammed up about what recording method to use. But theres a little urgency like, well, gotta try something before the memory fades.

      Okay, back to sleep... Its only 5:52 A M so I should be able to sleep again.

      I didn't get back to sleep. Sometimes I feel like I should be able to but donít.
    12. Last NIghts Dreams

      by , 05-14-2018 at 07:46 PM
      I got lucid briefly. There was something with "7X" Goku. (Giant shoulder pads) I was on a merry go round thing holding on with only my hands. I fought someone and pinned them to the ground and took their gun. I forgot a really interesting part but just remember getting lucid from some objects that were a dream sign.
    13. Dream Poem!!!

      by , 05-13-2018 at 05:45 PM
      A scary elephant came into my room.
      I was scared and felt alot of doom.
      I knelt by my bed and asked for help.
      It was not sleep paralysis so I could yelp.
      The scary elephant whispered "roger that".
      I woke up in my bed laying flat.
      It turned out it had just been REM sleep.
      And now I had a new dream memory to keep.

      (doo doo chh, doo doo doo chh)

      In another dream I found some flowerbeds.
      But instead of dirt, there were reptile heads.
      I could see they had a lot of thirst.
      And if they got thirsty that would be the worst!
      So I flew to Wal Mart in 5 minutes flat.
      Got a gallon of water and gave them that.
      I was just glad that they were alive.
      Those reptiples almost did not survvei.

      (doo doo chh, doo doo doo chh)

      I got lucid in another part and saw myself flying.
      Surprised to get lucid cause I wasn't even trying.
      It was a clone of my physical appearance.
      I tried to stabilize and give the dream some clearness.
      Because I had been dreaming a while,
      I thought I'd take a more conservative style.
      I asked my clone, "Want to recall what we dreamt today?"
      But my clone wasn't interested and flew away!!!

      (doo doo chss, doo doo doo chss)

      And before I end this conversation,
      I also want to mention my false awake-nin'
      I found I had a golden retreiver dog!
      I pet him and then went to find my dream log.
      This was after I tried to astro-project...
      And I did neglect- to have reality-checked!
      My land line rang and played a pop song.
      But I was in my dreaming mind and nothing seemed "wrong"!!!

      (doodely doo doo ch ch ch ch)

      My last verse will be about this class,
      I heard while I was cleaning a thing made, of green glass-
      The teacher said, "What if, when you were a kid,
      Everyone showed you love, no matter what you said or did?"
      The rest of the class cheered with enthusiasm.
      The other dream details must have fell in a chasm.
      Those wise words will stick with me.
      I remember the dream also had a tree.

      (the end!)

    14. 2,393 words

      by , 05-08-2018 at 05:45 PM

      my dreams are in the above pdf
      please click to view them

      I really maxed out on pictures today.
    15. 1,125 words

      by , 05-07-2018 at 08:49 PM

      (please click above pdf to read dreams)

      Its been a while since I wrote my usual 3000-6000 word entry. I think that was not sustainable in terms of an amount to write. I write them a little simpler now but still keep the voice recorder file which records all the details. But also my voice recordings have only been 30-45 minutes. A month or so ago I was having some nights with 1.5 hours of dream details on my voice recorder... I think this amount is a little easier to manage right now though. I would gladly accept more dream recall but I'm just saying.
      memorable , lucid , non-lucid
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