non-lucid

This dream fragment tricked my memory: I thought I remembered already writing it down, but I clearly did not!

This dream fragment during nap time was about dreams and censorship, and how dreams elude censorship, and how dreamviews is also free speech.

I think I remembered more than that right after the nap, but as I said my mind tricked me. Out of some reason both this and the previous dream fragment show that my subconcscious mind does not want to bother with writing down dream fragments any more, which at this point in my dream recall I cannot afford! Yikes!

My dreaming mind wants to know why bother with dream fragments. My waking self is shocked that this is not clear.

Too groggy now to type.

EDIT:
This dream fragment indicates that my subconscious mind is becoming impatient with dream journal and dream recall, and would like to cut some corners. My conscious mind says "No!" First of all right now most of the dreams I remember are dream fragments, and it's still way too early to take dream recall for granted and not to work on it as hard as I can. Also a lot of my dream fragments have been gems in my opinion: I greatly enjoy and treasure them, so not focusing on recalling and writing down all dream fragments would be a bad idea.

I remember a dream I had earlier tonight:

I was a teenaged boy (so definitely not myself). I had runaway from home, and had started being part of a bad crowd. The people I hung with appeared much older than me, and hardened criminals. I had a sense that they would not stop short of murder. I felt that I was I over my head, but a self proclaimed mentor tried to persuade me that I was where I belonged.

Interesting re-occurrence of self-proclaimed mentor idea

Oh this is so fustrating. I just had it! And it was cool, and kind of a combination of previous dream fragment, but different. I thought I had stabilized it, but then when I shifted and got IPad it was gone!

Definitely airplanes, this time military ones (after the fragment earlier tonight the mental image I got was of a large commercial airplane). Definitely also standing in for dreams.

Well since I can't remember what, I will improvise: dreams are like airplanes because ...

Flights of fancy
Flying is common in dreams

Why military airplane this time?

Getting ready to fight? The enemy? Myself? My low self-esteem (which is not nearly as low as it was two weeks ago)

I don't know, don't remember. Argh!

In this dream I remember discussing with someone about dreaming. He or she (don't remember) was saying that they need more dreams of X (unfortunately forgot what between wake up and writing). I remember saying that I have lots of that in my dreams, and suggesting they borrow some from me. Sort of like someone borrowing sugar from a neighbor.

Upon waking I found the concept of borrowing dream elements from others to be an interesting fancy that my dreaming mind came up with. The X could have been airplanes I think because whenever I try to recall what I get a mental image of an aircraft. Though in my dreams I do not actually dream of air planes, so it would be hard to lend my dreamed air planes to someone else. LOL

Upon waking my iPad brightness wouldn't adjust, so I did an RC but I seem to be awake. Still feel very groggy though.

I remember in this non-lucid dream fragment realizing that in dreams it matters less what my mind finds objectionable, but it matters mor that My mind still have issues with the dream.

Only very fragmented fragment:

I remember this was more Of a conceptual dream. Communism compared to other political system. I don't remember how it was compared, what the criteria for comparison were, but it was a quantitative comparison - I remember lots of numbers.

Then there was something about a bird cage. Could be fragment of same dream or another one.

I dreamed about how successful I am at fishing and at dreaming. My mind may be new to this hobby but do I expect success right away?

This fragment asked the question: Is seasonal hunting cruel?
My dream answer: No.

So I continue my lessons in what is proper as I call them, or another way of looking at it is that my mind is struggling with issues of right and wrong, and checking what is right in my opinion. Not that I am ever going to do seasonal hunting myself, but I don't judge people who do. My mind wanted to verify that. Interesting.

In this dream fragment I remember looking for non-catatonic fish in the petstore, but during the dream also thinking that fish may stand for dreams (!).

Note: This was not a lucid dream, but just another example of a dream about dreaming, which I have been having a lot of.

Also note that Fishkeeping is another hobby of mine, and looking for new fish is a regular occurrence right now (about once a month), since I am in the process of slowly stocking my aquarium. When looking for new fish, one looks for lively ones, and thus non-catotonic kind of makes sense for fish, though it is an odd choice of words.

However if fish stands for dreams, and the choose off odd word matters, here is an online definition of catatonic from word.com website:

"1 : of, relating to, being, resembling, or affected by schizophrenia characterized especially by a marked psychomotor disturbance that may involve stupor or mutism, negativism, rigidity, purposeless excitement, and inappropriate or bizarre posturing

2 : characterized by a marked lack of movement, activity, or expression"

It makes sense that I would look for dreams that are non-catatonic!

In my dream my husband is out of town (as he is in real life).

In my dream I asked a coworker out on a date, and he happily accepted.

See this is a perfect example of why I want to lucid dream. This is not who I am in waking life. This is not who I want to be. This is not who I choose to be.

Yes, I am lonely when my husband is out of town I get it.
I will also admit that I like this coworker ... as a coworker, as a buddy, as someone to share ideas with and to joke with.

Infidelity is a big no-no for me, and I also get that my mind therefore decided to present me with this scenario to shock me, to tell me "See I know how to push your buttons." Here is something that would really bother you.

But we already knew that! We already knew that I am struggling with self-esteem issues and with taking control over who I want to perceive myself as and deciding what is proper.

This however I know is not proper. And I refuse to think that I "need" this, so subconscious fuck off! I am going to relearn lucid dreaming, and make sure that I get to decide what I do and what is right for me.

If I am so fucking lonely tonight, why not give me a dream of my husband instead. That would have been nice, ok? But no, my subconscious, you decided to play games with me. Well, I don't appreciate that!

In an hour I need to get up and go to work and face this coworker, and forget that my subconscious asked him out on a date.

Frqgment: In my dream a real life acquaintance mine whom I usuelly see about twice a year were in a dream competition of sorts.

She was trying to learn how to "suck out" the nightmare part out of dreams.

I was trying to learn how to "suck out" lucidity out of dreams.

Upon waking I was struck by the odd use of the word "suck out". Did we mean like a succabus?

Meanwhile, my son was the one who had woken me up (at 2:30am) saying that his leopard and some other plush toy were stuck together and he did not know how it happened. I suggested he bring them to me, and I would look into it. He said he did not know where they were. Realizing that what was bothering was probably a dream fragment, I suggested he go back to sleep, and we would look for them in the morning.

This dream fragment was about dreaming. Upon waking it occurred to be that it was a chicken or egg type dilemma. But that that's all I remember.

Even though I was careful not to move as I remembered this dream, and I thought I had it, but when I did move, the fragment became even more fragmented.

This was another dream about dreaming. It started out with a question asked on DV. I don't remember the question but it was asked by someone experienced for the sake of helping teach beginners. It had to do with differentiation of dreams, categorization of them.

I remember thinking that the distinction was easy for me, and answering the question.

This was not a lucid dream.

EDIT: after more sleep around 7am did not remember additional dream or fragment, but remembered a bit more from this one:

Question: Experienced dreamers, how do you change entries in a dream journal to help prepare for lucid dreaming? (Note: Upon waking this question is weird to me and has no clear and easy answer, but in my dream I thought it was easy.)

My dream answer: Focus on dream signs. Do not concentrate on what makes this dream unique. (Note: I know there was more to my dream answer, but that's all I remember.)

In this dream I was myself and I was in the women's room of my actual work place. I was with a bunch of women whom I had never seen before and one man (in women's room!) whom I had never seen before either.

In my dream I rationalized their presence that they must be new recruits, people who just got hired. And I rationalized the man's presence that he was there to assist a handicapped woman (whom I did not see but just inferred).

Some of them were dressed in formal attire as appropriate for after interview or first day of work. The man was wearing dress shirt and tie. However some of the women were wearing jeans.

So I started to explain that our boss (who was the boss I actually do have in real life, and who actually does have this preference in real life) that our boss prefers more formal dress code such as dress shirt and tie from all employees every workday. Someone asked for clarification: "even for women dress shirt and tie?" Me: "No, but not jeans, more formal than that, nicer." I went on to explain that even though we are an IT shop, but more and more often we do get important visitors, and the place and people thus need to look presentable.

I remember this dream was very vivid, and definitely not remotely lucid. I remember I accepted the rationale for man in the women's room without questioning it, and I was not remotely bothered by his presence there. We were all kind of hanging out there, relaxed, and bonding. My explanations of dress code were received by the others the way they had been intended as friendly advice / tips to new coworkers.