The Kestrel's Dreams

June 24, 2014

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I didn't remember ANY dreams from the night. That made me sad. It's understandable though, since I'm adjusting to a new sleep schedule (thank you Graduate School!)

But, I did take a nap, and remember snippets of a dream:


I was with at least Zukin and one other, though I don't remember who it was. The other person was driving us around in a car or an ATV of some sort. We drove through a really winding, up-and-down path through various landscapes. Part of it was through thick woods with very little light getting through the canopy, part was through an open savannah-type field, part was on a rocky ocean coast...

Zukin was getting MAJORLY car-sick, so we stopped for a bit and talked to some random people that happened to be there, but I don't remember anything about what we discussed or even what kind of people or how many of them there were.

Then we had to get going, because we had to drive back in time for something-or-other. We got back in the vehicle and started on the drive back: It was now dark, and the road seemed MUCH narrower than it had been before, and I began to wonder if we had accidentally taken the wrong road... But all the same landmarks were there.

At some point toward the end of the dream, there was a large vehicle coming toward us. The headlights were super bright, and it was going pretty fast, but whoever was driving our vehicle didn't seem worried... Then I woke up.

June 23, 2014

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I was traveling with my dad (or rather, someone's dad. I wasn't "me" in this dream, but I don't know exactly who I was), and we had just walked through a large garden/yard, with paths cutting across in various spots. (Whoa, I just remembered a dream from ages ago)

We came up to a large house (two floors, lots of glass windows, I could see a huge TV on the ground floor) in a bowl-like yard. As we walked toward the house, to the left was a row of other, much smaller houses along a street. I don't remember noticing what was on the right side or behind the house (OMG I just remembered another dream from a long time ago. Shit, man)

That night, I was sitting outside the house, looking at the roofs of the line of houses to the left of the house. There was something strange about the gable of the house at the end of the row, closest to the garden/yard we'd come through to get to the house, though I can't remember exactly what ws strange about it. I just know that I was staring at it, inspecting it, trying to figure out why that different thing about it was different.

Then, there was a mother and her son walking in from that garden. I blinked, and I was out of my body, watching the mother and son running through that garden moments before. Then, I watched through the mother's eyes as she and her son jumped over a fence in the garden, figured out it was an enclosure, and jumped back over. I (she) was searching for something, but I didn't know what it was. I just knew that safety was just a little bit further ahead, but it was always just a little bit further ahead. Behind me, hopefully far behind me and my son, was an abusive husband-an abusive father. We'd run away from him.

My son and I descended into the bowl-yard (holy shit I keep remembering really random dreams from years ago) and got separated. I panicked. I looked every direction, but I heard a loud, sharp, painful BANG, more panic, I started running without much direction, looking for my son, when there was another BANG and everything stopped...

I left the POV of the mother then, and was seeing through my own eyes again; the mother and son had been two animals. I had thought they were human at first, since it was dark and I couldn't see well. I think they were deer, but I'm not certain. I turned to my right to see my father, holding a smoking shotgun. "Why did you kill them...?" I was shocked and so sad. "It was just a momma and her baby...!" I suddenly got super angry at him, and stormed off into the house. I ignored him for the rest of the night, and wouldn't speak to him the next morning. He kept trying to make me feel better, or to make up for killing the animals, but he wouldn't give me the one thing I wanted, which was an apology. He wasn't sorry at all, and that's why I was so fracking mad.

I had sat down in front of the huge TV at some point that day, but couldn't get it to work; there was some sort of password to make it work, and I didn't know it. I asked my father, who was in the kitchen, if he was at all sorry about shooting the son. He'd shot the young one first. "He was so young..."

But my father still wasn't sorry. I was so angry that I just left the house alltogether. I stood outside, wondering what I could possibly do. It wasn't much, but I decided to make a small memorial for the mother and son in the spot where the son had been shot. I went back inside to watch TV, since my father had gotten it working, but as I was searching for a channel, it turned off and I couldn't get it to turn back on.

So I went back outside, and suddenly, where I'd made the memorial, there was a bank drive-thru. My dream self (who still wasn't really me) didn't seem to be surprised, haha. I walked up to the teller and asked to withdraw $10 from my account. The teller smiled and asked me when I would like the withdrawal to arive at my house.

"Can't I just get the money now...?"
"Oh, no, you need a Start Account for that. Normal accounts can only withdraw on a 2-day minimum waiting period."
"Well how do you know I don't have a Start Account...?" I asked.
The teller pointed to a few people who were suddenly there. They all had a small blue pin on their chests. The pins had "Start" written in mirror-writing in white ink. I looked down at my own chest; I had no pin.

Then I woke up.

June 22, 2014

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I was with a really mixed group of my friends; Zukin was there, as were at least two people from high school (my ex and Annie, one of my best friends), as well as some people I know from random times of my college career. We were all sitting at a table in some sort of large cafeteria-type place. Maybe a dorm's dining hall on campus? Now that I think about it, all of the people i nthe group, even the ones from highschool, went to my college, except for Annie.

Anyways. I digress too much. We were sitting at a large table, deciding what to do for Spring Break, which was in a few weeks. Zukin and I suggested we all go to Germany and/or Austria. The group liked the idea of that, and so we loosely decided to make it happen. We all went our separate ways.

About a week later (one and a half weeks until SB). I was walking around downtown, when i saw one of the girls from the group, a friend from high school (actually, from middle school! Wow. Known her a long time) was walking dwn the street with bright, bright orange hair. I asked her what was up, and she said she had gone to the salon to get her hair colored, and they'd told her she could walk around outside while the color set. She'd gone walking around, and forgotten to go back, and her hair had turned bright orange like this. She was skeptical about whether or not she would be going on the trip or not because of this. I told her it looked awesome (I love orange) and that even if she didn't like it, she could just re-dye it before the trip. She said she'd get back to me about it.

Jump ahead about half a week, and I'm online, looking at flight prices. I found a super great deal, and booked it right away, then messaged everyone in the group about it. They all said they would get the tickets very soon...

Jump again to the day before we leave for the trip; I am staying the night at Annie's apartment and for some reason my ex needed a place to stay that night, so Annie invited him, too. We all talked about the trip, and I found out that Annie had forgotten to get her ticket, so I was really worried that she wouldn't be able to go anymore, but we got online and found that tickets were still available for that flight.

The next morning, we all met up at the airport. It's the same airport that's always in my dreams. This airport is... a bit hard to describe. It's got bits from all the airports I've ever been in, as well as some aspects of Grand Central Station in Chicago and some of the train stations Zukin and I went to in Germany (like the entrance of Stuttgart HBF) The airport is even more maze-like than most real airports, causing my dream self to have gotten lost multiple times... There are also two different runways that I've seen in this airport...

Anyways, we got to Germany in one piece. I don't remember much about the plain ride. We got to Germany, and I got the rental car we'd arranged. Zukin and I went, by memory, to a campsite we had gone to in Austria before. But the road there was like the one in the beginning of Spirited Away. We were all in two cars, since we were so many people, and at some point the other car lost us. But at that point it was just one road and they couldn't go the wrong way without tearing through gobs of trees, so we didn't worry about them.

Oh. Did I mention we were all in full larp gear? Well, we were. Apparently the campsite in Austria was having a special event for larpers. Zukin and I were trying to get them all into larp.

We park the car when we reach the site, get out, and head toward the registration desk. There are so many people. It's more like a ren-fair than a larp event. At least, there were way more people than any larp event I've been to. We lost one of the guys in the group (oddly enough, the one person in the group that wasn't a person I know IRL)

Mel (the one I've known since middle school) asked, "Where's Bret (or Brad. I couldn't hear too well over the noise of the larpers around us) Garrett?"
"I dunno. The reservation is under his name though..."
I waved my hand. "He'll be fine, and I can speak German so it's all good."

We got up to the desk and I asked in German if we could check in. The women responded in English, with a pretty fake accent. "Name?"
"It'll be under Bret (or Brad) Garrett."
The woman, who was rather large but very very friendly looking, looked through some papers, and then handed them to me, adding, "You know, you can stay for free if you go into the woods, have a drink, and tell three strangers you love them."

I went back to the group and told them about the deal. Everyone seemed pretty okay with it, and as we were heading toward the woods, Bret/Brad came hastily over, hiding behind us. "Those guys jumped out of nowhere and started singing weird shit at me...!" I turned and saw a group of young men, each with an instrument, singing love songs to Bret/Brad. I think the people from the other car were just joining us as I woke up. I was laughing at Bret/Brad.

June 21, 2014

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orange text = Lucid


Okay, so this one was really weird and hard to describe. I'll do the best I can. I went with my parents to a property they recently bought in the northern part of the state in which I live. We were camping; I was in my own tent while my parents slept in another tent a few feet away. I couldn't sleep very well because of this super-duper annoying-ass cricket that must have made its life goal to keep me awake.
Anyways. This is the dream(s?) I had:


I was with my parents on the same property we actually were visiting; but it was in the near future, when the house we're planning to build there had just been finished. But it "wasn't open" yet, and we were staying in the same tents were actually were in, out in the yard. I had woken up because of a really annoying cricket (this is why it's so confusing. I think I may have fallen asleep and inserted everything before this point, but not actually dreamed it...? I may have also unintentionally WILDed. I HAD been thinking about it as I tried to fall asleep all night, so I was in the right mindset for it I think?)

Anyways, it was only about 6am (in the dream), and I had just woken up, but I was still tired; I got out of the tent because the cricket was being a bitch, and walked around outside. The sun was nice and warm, and I wandered around a bit. I thought I saw an old friend of mine, whom I met online a loooong time ago. He was walking around the other properties surrounding my family's. But it didn't really look like him. I had the strong impression that it was Alex, though. But I chose not to call out to him, mostly because my parents were there and it would be weird, or something. I walked around for a while, always noting where Maybe-Alex was, and eventually stopped seeing him around. I was so tired still, so I laid down in the grass to try and sleep. Here, it was strange, because I knew I was outside, but at the same time I was also inside and could see a kid I used to babysit peaking out of a crib at me and giggling. It was a bit like when you let your eyes try to battle each other for what you're seeing. Sometimes it's what your right eye sees, and it's sometimes what your left eye sees. It's hard to describe, but if you don't have a dominant eye, like me, you might better know what I'm talking about...

Anyways, then I must have fallen asleep for a bit. The next thing I knew, my parents were waking me up and telling me it was about time to get going. I told them about seeing the kid in the crib, when I thought I saw Maybe-Alex out of the corner of my eye, but when I looked at the spot where I thought he was, he'd vanished.

And then suddenly, there was a hand on my right shoulder, and Maybe-Alex was saying to my parents, "This little SLUT isn't quite so innocent as you think." And then all hell broke loose.
"What the fuck Alex, why are you saying that?!"
My mom yelled at me, "Kestrel, is that true?!"
And they forced me to go to a doctor to have a test done. The Doctor told my parents, "It's true, she's no longer a virgin." And my mom started crying and yelling angrily at me, my Dad turned his back on me and left the room with my mom. (this wouldn't happen IRL. They know I'm not, and don't really care. I mean I'm 22 for crying out loud)

So I'm laying in the hospital bed in the empty room, and the door opens. Maybe-Alex comes in, and I look at him, hurt. "Why did you do that? What did I do to make you call me a little slut?!" He would never do that IRL. Especially not in the tone he'd used. His voice was so malicious, so manipulating and cold.

"I had to be sure the mother of my child is hated by her parents; that way she has no where to turn but to me." He was so fucking calm and cold.

"And you think I'm having your baby?" I rolled my eyes.

"I know you're going to have my baby." And he locked the door. He came toward me with a really wicked grin on his face, and I suddenly felt scared. "There's no way you're Alex..."

"Nope~" He said in a singsongy voice, and I realized I must have been dreaming. I did a Reality Check, and it turned out I was dreaming.

I stared at whoever the guy was, and asked him, "are you The Face?"

"That may have been me. But that's not my name." He'd sat down at the edge of the bed, no longer threatening. He was still grinning a bit maliciously, though. Maybe it was more mischievous.

"Well what is your name?"

"You can call me whatever you want."

"I want to call you by your name."

"Not this time~"

I narrowed my eyes at him and suddenly remember the challenge of the month. I decided to try it, so I repeated, with the same singsongy intonation, "Not this time~"

He just raised his eyebrow and stared at me, silently. I couldn't tell if he was confused or just blank. I waited so long for him to say something else that the dream destabilized and I woke up.

June 20, 2014

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Loud Soup

I was in a really, really tall building. The room I was in was sort of sticking out of the building, so that the floor beneath my feet were some thousand feet in the air. I remember looking out the window and being terrified because there was nothing holding the floor up except that it was attached to the building's wall. I was with an old woman and her granddaughter, who was a little older than I am (I'm 22 in case you're wondering)

We were eating soup, and I was for some reason swallowing REALLY loudly every single time. I tried to be quiet about it, but couldn't make my swallowing less noisy haha!



She Got A COW?!

I was living in a coastal city; there was a huge crane building something in the harbor, and there were two or three very, VERY large sailing ships. I was there with the backpacking group; we all lived there and worked on building things in town. We lived in dorms and our lives were fairly well controlled, but not oppressed.

One day we had a field trip to a city along the coast; we were going to take a tour of a mall/factory thing.
We all got on a bus, and a large screen reading 5100 turned on. As the bus moved, the meter ticked down (it was at 5010 or so when we got to the location) and it marked how far we could each walk for the day, but I don't remember what units it was in. During the bus ride, I remember turning toward the window to look out over the ocean, and as we crossed a large suspension-ish bridge, I could see the huge crane from our hometown, as well as the huge boats.

When we got to the mall/factory, it was decided that Zukin would be our group's leader, and she started making really weird faces at us all. As I get off the bus, I make a note to myself to get a new wallet while we're at the mall/factory, since my old one was getting worn-out.

So, Zukin had this weird look on her face basically the whole tour. It was a bit like that face you make when you're pretending to be a fish. We walked through the entrance into a large, high-roofed room with shops along the walls. It was oval-ish in shape, and we walked toward a hallway to our right. It led to a production line-type-thing where we learned how they took these large black stones and carved them along one edge to reveal bright, rainbow iridescent layers. Then they carved a flat line for a base to stand it up on, and then patters along the edges. On the other flat side, they carved it so that there was only a very, very thin layer of black on top of the next colorful layer. They then carved pictures into that edge. The pictures were all different, and because the black layer was so thin, what ever got carved out wasn't a deep cut, but still revealed the rainbow beneath, and so the pictures that were revealed were really colorful This about those scratch-away art pages that were so popular in the 90s.

At the end of the tour, we each got one to take home. Mine had an anime-style picture of a girl with long hair and bangs leaning on her elbows. She was laying on her stomach on a bed, and a blanket was covering her from the stomach down. She was holding a book in her hands and looking at the POV with a surprised look on her face.

Zukin got a cow on her picture. I was so jealous.

Anyways, we all got food, as well. There was oatmeal and yogurt, and fruit and such. It was a very breakfast-y thing. I sat down at the table, so that Zukin, who was at one of the heads of the table, was to my right. So I was in the seat to her left. I suddenly realized that everyone else had sat on the other side of the table, not next to me. I suddenly felt really alone and inadequate and unwanted, and then I woke up.

June 19, 2014

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LOTS AND LOTS OF SHIT.

I was pregnant in this dream. I don;t remember if I was in my home-town or my college-town, since the main streets from both cities were definitely in the dream... Maybe I was in both cities at some point in the dream.

So I had no idea who the father was, for some reason. Everyone at the office at which I worked assumed it was my coworker, who said he loved me. But I'd refused him because I didn't love him. In my dream, the part I remember most was in the car on the way to the hospital for a checkup in the last few weeks before I was due. I was asking my mom, who was driving me, if it was okay to use an epidural. She said it was fine, and I was relieved because I didn't think I could handle the pain (though IRL, I probably can. I'm always hurting myself and get migraines so natural childbirth should be a piece of cake ;D *bricked*) I remember that my mom started ranting about all the shit (literally) involved with childbirth, and I was laughing.



Light Switch

All I remember is that it was pitch black, COMPLETELY pitch black (like a complete blackout in a cave. NO. LIGHT. AT ALL) and I was trying to find a light switch.



Blitzball

I vaguely remember being immersed in water. I may have been playing Blitzball.

June 17, 2014

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I was living in an apartment with my mom and little brother. But it wasn't my real brother. There seemed to be some sort of sickness going around that turned the body stiff until the person died, and my brother got it. We found him on the couch in the living room...

Mom was suddenly really anxious and said we had to move, like RIGHT THEN. She started packing her bags, and I went to my closet to pack my things, but there were too many things and I had to decide what to keep and what to throw out. I was getting more and more anxious because I wanted to pack up everything, but mom was already finished packing and walking out the door. I was crying and yelling, "Wait for me don't leave mom...! I'm almost done, I promise...! Don't leave, don't leave... Wait... Don't leave...!" I kept repeating those words as I tried to pack everything, but I couldn't see well because of the tears.

But mom just put her bags down by the door and came over calmly to help me finish, wiping my tears away and telling me repeatedly she wouldn't ever leave me behind. I think I was a younger child in this dream. Maybe 6 or 7 or so.

June 16, 2014

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Night Sky

I was with the backpacking club, camping in the field behind my house for some reason. It's dark out already, but it's a warm night, so we're all wearing shorts and maybe a hoodie or something. I remember laying on the ground underneath the tree I climbed all the time as a kid. I was looking up at the stars through the sparse leaves; the tree is old, and not as full as it once was.

As I lay there, Ivan comes and lays down perpendicular to me, and we start talking as we look up at the sky. I remember the sky being overly bright. Like, in this picture with the celestial objects as they would appear if they were only brighter. All these things are actual size, believe it or not.

Anyways, the sky was so beautiful. I don't remember what exactly Ivan and I were talking about, but I remember being confused in my dream as to whether he was trying to be romantic or trying to just be a good friend. After a while, Dan walks by, asking if he can build a fire. Ivan and I both say that it's not allowed here, but that he can make a fire down in the woods (which makes no sense whatsoever. There's a fire-pit in my backyard so it would have been fine). Dan and a few of the others leave to go make a fire, and then Ivan moves so that he's laying right next to me and we lay in silence for a while until I wake up.



Silly Baby

I took a nap later in the afternoon, and had this dream:
I was in my apartment, and a friend from highschool, Kelcey, and her husband live in the unit right next to mine. I was sitting in my living room with the screen door open to let some breeze in, and Kelcey's baby (she actually has one) crawls in and starts wondering my apartment. I get up and follow her, letting her explore but being careful to watch her to make sure she doesn't hurt herself or anything. I let her go on until she reaches the bathroom, then I pick her up and carry her back to the living room, where I find Kelcey standing at the screen door. Her husband is in a beanbag chair out on my little patio.

I hand her the baby all nonchalant, as if it were a routine we had, and invited them all inside. Kelcey asked if I had a tin of nuts because she was ravenous. I found some in the cupboard and brought them out to her, and then woke up.

June 15, 2014

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Fragment: Bell Bed

I was at someone's house, and it was winter. They had heated floors inside as well as heated ground outside so that their yard would never have snow on it. Everyone in the house was going to go to a concert for my cousin's best friend, Aynes (she's got a pretty stellar voice). I remember that my mom and some other people had specific tickets, but I could probably get one at the door because they didn't think it was sold out... We get there, and I get a ticket, but I have to sit in the cheap seats because that's all that was left. Someone else was singing before her, but I don't remember anything significant about whoever it was.

After the concert, there was a sign-up for some sort of military camp, and everyone in my group signed up for it. We all got shuttled off to a cabin and got assigned beds. I was in the top bunk closest to the door, which was apparently the "Bell Bed," and every time I got into or out of it, a bell would ring and everyone else would have to get in our out of their beds too. It was strange.



I Trust You

I was with Zukin in my home-town near my Oma's house. We got on a bus to go rent a movie from the Video Hits Plus, and she didn't know where it was so she turned to me and said, "I trust you."




Fragment: Fish Food

I was talking to Kristin and she was telling me not to feed Fishie, our beta fish, the little crunchier bits in the food we have for him. I asked why, and she said if he ate them, he would get bloated and die. I felt really horrible because I'd always been feeding him those, and I thought he was going to die. (as soon as I woke up from this one I groggily got up and checked on him to make sure he was alive and well, and then went back to sleep)




I wanna get a Sammich

My English class plus Zukin plus a few random characters I didn't recognize were all part of a secret, elite group. Each of us had some sort of super skill, and we all worked together to do good in various locations. There were about five locations in this dream, but I don't remember much about the first two. I just know they were there.

The third place was weird, because to get to the bedrooms, we all would have to sort of pole-vault across a 10-foot-wide gap in the building. It was a sort of courtyard that was about 15-feet wide except for the landing we had to get to. We were on the top story (10-ish?) so the fall if you missed the landing would be pretty bad...

One of the members of the group, a guy I didn't recognize from the real world, was being cocky and reckless, and decided to try to pole vault from about 10-feet left of the "runway" to make the gap a lot bigger. He ended up missing the little indent where you stick the pole, and couldn't stop in time, running right off the edge and falling. I yelled, "Call 911!" a few times, running around the top floor to tell people what had happened, and then went back to the runway. There were people coming out from the bedrooms on the other side of the gap to see what the commotion was. I called down at the guy (I called his name, but I don't remember what it was) and he moved a little. I was relieved he wasn't dead. I kept calling for him to move different parts of his body if he could, mostly to keep him from falling asleep in case he had a concussion. People were coming with ropes, and so someone was lowered down to help the guy up, but by the time they got down, the guy was already standing up and acting just fine, laughing about it even. I think he super skill must have been a hard head.

An ambulance had arrived by the time he was lifted all the way up, and he was protesting that he was just fine, but I made him get in and get checked out just in case.


The fourth location is a little blurry, but I remember that one of our group left because he was scared of something in that place. He had to quit permanently, but they would let him have a different job at HQ. He was going to be some sort of librarian/clerk. He got a giant pet lizard.

On the third night being at this location (we spent on average about two weeks at each place, I think), there was a severe storm warning. Either a hurricane or a tornado, or some kind of unreal dream-world storm. We were all told to stay inside the building, which was at the top of a mountain. There were floor-to-ceiling windows lining the whole side facing the town we were located above, and I could watch the storm rolling in.

Just before the storm was about to hit, Zukin, Robert, another guy, and I wanted to go get sandwiches. So we left. We went down a bunch of stairs and then an elevator, and then we came to the part that I hated: It was a perfectly vertical ledge, about 500-feet down.about five of our group had the skill to be able to jump down that without getting hurt, because they could absorb the force of the impact, or something. Those five would take the rest of us down by holding onto us and jumping, then jumping back up (the could also jump freakishly well, I guess) to get the rest of us. Robert and the other guy were two of them, so Robert grabbed me, and the other guy grabbed Zukin, and they both jumped down and set us down. I had screamed because I hate the sensation of falling, and I'd also been terrified Robert would lose his grip, so I basically straddled him around the upper body with my arms and legs. And then it was weird because he set me down gently and then nuzzled the back of my neck seductively before just walking off.

At the base of that cliff was the checkpoint where we all had to check in and out every time we entered or left. We went to four of the computer consoles that lined a wall. We had to fill out Name, Age, Date, When we Joined, etc. The last part to fill out was a check-box style question: "There is currently an order to remain indoors due to inclement weather. Why are you disobeying these orders?" The options were all official-looking, like "Visiting sick loved one in the hospital" and "urgent business with a superior" or "with explicit exception from superior" and the last one was "I wanna get a sammich." We all checked that one.

The computers gave us the green check that meant "Go Right on Ahead," and we made our way through the storm to the sandwich place, which made sandwiches just like a place on my college campus. We ordered our sandwiches to go and took them back to the "dorms" on top of the mountain. We ate them in front of the large windows, watching the rest of the storm.


The last location from this dream was actually HQ. We got to stay there for a month, but still had to do good deeds and whatnot while there. I went to the office of my friend who left the group to see how he was doing. He loved life staying at HQ with his giant pet lizard. His office was messy and books were stacked all over the place. I was glad he was doing well, and went back out to the dining room where people were eating. I sat between Zukin and Robert. I think he and I had gotten into a relationship in the time between the storm and when we got back to HQ.

I got half-way through my dinner and then needed to get something from my room, so I excused myself momentarily and went through the maze-like hallways to my room; I say "my room," but they were all co-ed communal bedrooms. I shared the room with 7 other people. I got what I needed, though I can't remember what it was. On my way back to the dining room (I had turned left and then right and was about to turn another left into the hall that led straight to the dining room), my watch beeped, so I did a reality check on reflex. I looked down; 12:00 exact. I rotated my wrist so I could no longer see the time, and then turned it back toward me; 11:32. I was dreaming!

I felt that same rush of excitement and the destabilization of the dream, but this time I was within reach of something to touch; I remembered that touching things in the dream could help keep it stable. So I touched the wall to my right, and kept my hand on it as I took the next few steps. Then, when I felt like it was okay to let go without it going away again, I decided to try levitating. I jumped in the air, and clapped excitedly when my feet didn't touch the ground again. I floated through the halls, exploring in my lucidity. I went back to the room I slept in, and this time I noticed Zukin's blanket on one of the beds, so she must have shared the room with me. I wanted to find out who all was in this room, and so I hovered back to the dining room and asked, "Who all sleeps in the same room as me?" but I could feel the dream destabilizing. Zukin, Robert, Melisa (another of my classmates) and three other people raised their hands, looking at me like I was stupid, and then I woke up.




After I wrote down my lucid dream, I fell back asleep for about 45-minutes:

Fragment: Bike Ride

Zukin and I were going to go from our University town to her house about 40-minutes away, but we were going to ride our bikes there instead of driving. And we were going to do it at night, apparently. I was trying to pull up directions for taking back roads, since bicycles on the highway would be a dumbass thing to try (we do dumb things but we're at least smart enough to know what will DEFINITELY kill us). I called up Moonie, a friend I met online, to get the directions (why she would know the directions, I dunno). We were stopped at a stoplight this whole time. I remember the light turning green and then the fragment faded.




Fragment: High School Hospital

All I remember was wandering the halls of my high school, but it was Dream World version of my high school. I remember it being like that in all the other dreams about my high school. I was in the wing that, in real life, is the art wing, but in Dream Life, it looked like the corner stairs nearest to the cafeteria; the main stairway in the building because it connect the three portions of the school. Anyways, apparently the school was a hospital for the summer, and some random guy asked me where the "Cardiovascular Brain" Center was, and I told him I had no idea because I didn't even know there was a temporary hospital here in the first place.

June 13, 2014

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I don't remember much from this dream, except for being in a comic book store on the ground floor. I was looking for a Pokemon game for my 3DS, and a clerk told me it was on the third floor.

So I went up to the second floor, which had a lot of old-school games and books; Game Boy and Game Boy Color, some Game Boy Advanced games. There was some sort of exhibition room right along the staircase. It had glass walls so you could see into it. There wasn't anything in it in my dream, except for a large poster on the opposite wall that said something like "Are YOU ready to go GOLD?" or something. I get the feeling it was an ad for some new kind of game console.

I got up to the third floor and woke up.

June 12, 2014

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Literally all I remember from any dreams I had last night was one fragment about being at my Aunt's house in Indiana, talking to my cousin. I have no idea what we were talking about or what we were doing.

June 11

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Fragment: Killing Three Birds

I was in my neighbor's back yard, except it was thickly wooded, with two guys. I think I had a crush on one of them (but I don't remember much else about them). The other guy kept shooting endangered birds... I told him to stop, but he killed another; three total. He said it was so we could eat have a whole bird for dinner that night. A ranger came by and the guy hid the birds. Then we left.



Fragment: Shooting Stars and Fireworks

I was with Kristin and her boyfriend in my driveway at night. There was going to be a fireworks show in the neighborhood, so we were getting ready to watch. As we looked up, Kristin saw a shooting star. I looked up, and there was this huge fireball shooting star.



When Are You Due?

I was with Zukin in the back room of my Oma's house, where the kids usually play. She had this little contraption with her, that would act as a baby, or something. It was a project for school; she had to take care of it for a month. I helped her watch it and take care of it; I was feeding it in my dream (how one feeds a small bean-shaped ball of metal/plastic, I know not), and burping it. At the end of a month, a little age meter on the side of it would read one-year-old.

For some reason, we had to leave Oma's really quickly, and Josh was there to drive us to my house. Except when we got to my house, something was wrong, and so he drove us along the path through the "park" behind my house, and when it went through the woods, he went off the path, downhill. I remember thinking, Oh dear lord! and clutching the side of the vehicle. It was a sort of dune-buggy type thing, and I was sitting in the back seat to the right, while Zukin was sitting behind me, facing backwards (like in a golf cart. Actually, maybe we were in a golf cart. It's a little fuzzy). Josh hit a small bump and Zukin nearly fell out, so I offered for her to come sit with me. She says, "Oh my Bhuda, thanks," and instead of sitting next to me, she sits on my lap.

I'm still holding the "baby" contraption, and we pass a family who is having a picnic in the woods behind their own house. They say hello nicely, and so we stop for a moment to say hello back, and the mother sees the "baby" and asks me, "Oh, when are you due?" With a cheerful smile.

"Uh. In a month?" I was confused my the question; apparently they gave those contraptions to all women who were pregnant with their first baby, too? She thought I was pregnant. We left then, and Josh was worried that those people were going to call the police because we were driving a golf-cart-thing through their property, but I said, "Don't worry, these are all nice people. Besides the woods have always basically been free for all to use."



Adultery and Burning Dogs

I was a married man living in one of those cookie-cutter homes in a development. It was winter. I was having an affair with the neighbor's wife, and neither of our spouses knew about it. As far as they were aware, we just spoke friendly with each other like good neighbors should.

One night, I was in bed with my wife, and she was fast asleep. I was wide awake, and wanted to be with my neighbor, so I snuck out of the house through the front door. I had my PJs on still, but had put on a pair of nice dress shoes because I didn't want my feet to get cold. I was careful to be as quiet as I could be, but the snow was unbearably loud. Every step I took was about 10-times louder than it should have been; I was afraid my wife was going to wake up, so I tried to hurry to the neighbor's driveway, which was much better plowed than ours was...

I was almost there when I saw a light turn on inside, and my only thought was "SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT." I hurried around a corner, and just as I was turning it, I saw out of the corner of my eyes the door opening and my wife looking out, spotting me, and getting that crazed look on her face.

The feeling that overwhelmed me is really hard for me to describe. It was the kind of feeling you get when you get caught while in the act of doing something bad, and still run away as fast as you can but as quietly as you can. Maybe it was more like the feeling when you're playing a game of hide and seek with your friends, and you know they're almost done counting even though you haven't found a good spot, and so you panic and rush and do silly things, all while trying not to let the seeker hear your distress; that excited but frantic feeling. It's like... I knew there was absolutely nothing I could say to justify my being about to enter the neighbor's house (when my wife and I both knew that our neighbor's husband was out of town on a business trip for another day and a half).

Rather than going inside the neighbor's house, I run around in a roundabout way to confuse my wife as she followed my footprints in the snow, all the while avoiding the dog, who was sleeping right outside the door, and then got cornered and crouched behind a bush. It wasn't a very good hiding spot because the pine needles of the bush were thinly distributed. I could see beyond it just as well as my wife would be able to see me if she looked; and I knew she was looking. It's dark, maybe she won't actually be able to see me... but just as I thought that, the moon came out from behind a cloud and my wife looked right at me. She walked toward me menacingly. I noticed for the first time that she held something red in her hand; a grill lighter. I was freaking out that she was going to set fire to our neighbor's house (I guess she was a bit of a nutter even before I had the affair. Maybe that's what made me cheat on her in the first place. Who knows)...

But she looked at me, and then at the dog, and then back at me. She grinned evilly, crazily, and bent down to set fire to the dog. She held the lighter out in three different spots, the way you would light a fire; cover more area. Amazingly, the dog didn't wake up until its fur was already catching. I ran out of the bush to try to pat the dog out, and my wife laughed and then went back into our own home. The dog was whimpering and I finally managed to get the fire out, leaving the poor thing with only minor burns. I opened the front door to my neighbor's house went inside with the dog, and got it some water before heading to the bedroom. I knew where it was because I'd been there many times before. When she heard me approaching, and called out, "Honey, is that you? What are you doing back so early? I thought you'd be out for another day or so?" And then she came out of the bedroom, saw me in my messy PJs, the dog with her burn marks, and my slightly dazed expression. "What happened?" She asked, walking toward me.

Then I woke up.



Fragment: Drain-O

I was volunteering at an elementary school with Zukin, and there was some sort of sickness going around. It was deadly, and all the kids had it, and the teachers were catching it as well. For SOME reason, the cure to this sickness was a hat I had on; it was a bright orange ball-cap, and if I wore it, I was immune to the sickness and anyone who looked at me would be cured. Dream logic FTW.

But the hat got ruined somehow (I don't remember how; it may have already been ruined when the dream started), and Zukin and I were trying to fix it. Eventually we did fix it, but Zukin had clogged the drain in the sink somehow, and it was like new again, and I put it on. It looked normal on me, but when Zukin tried to wear it, it turned into this floppy green thing with white lace hanging over her ears and part of her forehead. So I put it back on, and we called the Kindergarten teacher into his office, where we'd been working. "We got the Cure-Hat fixed! But the sink got clogged."

"No worried, I have Drain-O." The teacher (who was attractive in that way 50-yr old men can sometimes be) took a tiny bottle of Drain-O out of his pocket (why he had it, no one knows) and put a few drops into the sink, which had water all the way up to the brim. Those few drops were somehow enough, and it instantly started to drain. The Drain-O smelled EXACTLY like liquid NyQuil.

June 10, 2014

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After having mostly fragmented memories of dreams and waking at 5:30 am, I fell back asleep and had this dream:


I was visiting some other country with my family (immediate and most of the grandparents/aunts/cousins, as well as the Stanleys, who are the family of my mom's old high school friend). At first, we were in a city, wandering around and exploring new places. We were in a Hotel there, and my mom had come back with a bicycle she'd just bought. We all wondered how practical this was, since we were going to have to fly back, just like we'd had to fly there. We all got in multiple cars and headed for the house we were renting for the next week and a half of the trip; apparently Bob had built it.

I decided to do some exploring of the house. There was a main section of the house, with the living spaces, and three of the bedrooms, and then there was a separate space connected by a partially underground hallway (there were windows at the top of the walls, and these windows were just above ground level outside). The second space was a garden/master bedroom. There were flowers in pots everywhere and when I looked out the window, I saw that the whole top of that hallway was also planted. There were lots of windows, and the bed was in a section that was sunk down a few steps. I went outside the building and saw a door, but didn't think much of it, assuming it was just leading off from one of the bedrooms.

Then, mom got back. She'd decided to come on her bike, so it took her a lot longer to get there. Except she came on a motor scooter. We asked her why she had it, and she said that she'd traded the bike for the scooter. She had apparently also picked up groceries on the way there; they were in bags behind her.

I asked it I could ride the scooter (I only call it a scooter because I can't think of any better word... It was basically a box with wheels and no right-side wall, so that you could get in and out. I guess it was more of a cockpit?), and mom said sure, why not? She proceeded to show my family the snake she'd gotten on a whim at the grocery store.

So I get in through the absent right-hand wall, and sit/squat in this awkward little seat that was slanted forwards. The steering mechanism was a simple floppy paddle handle (like the locks on some bathroom stalls). At first, I thought that it was also the way to accelerate (kind of how in bumper cars, often times to reverse, you need to turn so far you go backwards), so I turned it really far and ended up just spinning really fast and getting dizzy (it spun without pressing the gas, apparently). I found the actual gas and break pedals and got on my way, taking it out for a spin.

I first went up the road to the left (as you face the house), which was up. The house was on a hill, so to the left it went uphill, and to the right it went downhill on a curve to the right. We were on a mountain or something, I think. I got bored going uphill, so I turned around (the turning was like in some video games, where when you rotate the handle to the left for the camera view, it turns right, and vise versa. I hate that, it confuses me so much) and went downhill. I passed the house and went along the curve to the right, and then it was straight and steep, and there was a jeep (this jeep, to be precise; I should clarify that I am in no way a conservative. One of my friends posted this on FB) coming at me really fast with their brights on even though the sun was just starting to set, and the road was narrow, so I pulled over to the right side, which was nearly a cliff, and waited for it to pass. I got freaked out by the jeep and turned back to go home.

When I got back, the snake my mom had bought with the groceries was chilling on the front porch, but then a large red snake with yellow spots outlined in black came out of the ground (like, it came out of the GROUND, not out of a hole in the ground) and attacked mom's snake. It was crazy. They were vicious and kept going in and out of the ground, and I was freaked out because I was almost positive this other snake was venomous and they kept coming up at random spots, so I hopped back inside where I would be safe. I told my mom, but she didn't seem too worried about her snake. "She's a tough cookie, that one," she said with a thumbs up.

I went off to find my brothers and ended up finding them in the main living room. Bob said he'd included a secret space when he built the house. I looked over and found a room I had missed before; it was long and narrow, with bunk beds built into the wall on the right-hand side. There were four bunks, then one twin, and then one queen/double. The last thing built into that wall was a sort of reading nook with a table and booth-benches around it. Bob and Erik said they would be sleeping in this room with the Stanley boys and our uncles.

On the left at the end of the room was an open space, and a door was at the very end. I opened it, and found out it was the door I'd seen earlier.

When I closed the door, everything went all Minecraft on me. I accidentally deleted a block from the wall, and I rotated through my inventory to replace it with a stone block, but then I realized the walls were made of leaf-blocks. I didn't have any of those in my inventory, so I left it as it was. I looked over to the area to the left and noticed something strange; it looked like there was something behind the leaf-blocks making up the wall, so I broke one of them with my sheers (so I could replace it if there wasn't actually anything there) and found a tunnel with a pitfall at the end. I looked down the hole, and found out there was water running below. A tetris-ish shaped lily-pad floated past, and I jumped down and landed on it.

I was in this GORGEOUS underground jungle-temple-like space. The river was artificial, it seemed, made out of cobblestone blocks, suspended a few blocks from the ground and winding and going up and down. There were vines hanging down over everything and dappled light coming in through little holes in the ground (the ceiling above me, since I was underground now). Roots intertwined and connected with the cobblestone river. It was at the same time minecraft blocky and real-world smooth. It was so surreal and so beautiful! There were lily-pads on the water, and chests full of treasure scattered throughout the river; some in the water, some above the water, some on the cobblestone at the edge of the water.

I let myself be carried by the river until it came into open daylight (the sun still had not set, but was very close to the horizon now) and found myself above the house. Instead of the road there had been before, it was all a river now. Wait a minute, this was a road before... Am I dreaming? Sure enough, for the first time ever, I did a reality check in my dream, and found I was dreaming. I was so excited that it started to destabilize, but I ran as fast as I could to the house to tell everyone we were in a dream.

I woke up before I could reach the house.
I gained lucidity (and remember it) for the first time!


Update: That day I spent way more time than I should have building the house in Minecraft. lol

June 09, 2014

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I only remembered one fragment... Or rather, I know I remembered full dreams when I woke up, but I was not in the mood to write them down right away, and then either forgot because I didn't think about them enough, or fell back asleep...


This Book!

I was with my brothers at Oma's house, and we were talking about a book that my brothers didn't think was all that special. "But it's got all the ends of all the Harry Potter characters! I've got Dumbledore's end, even!"
(didn't occur to Dream-Kestrel that we all know Dumbledore's end from the books, anyways...)

June 08, 2014

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Kebab Gets Sick

I was with the backpacking group, drinking in an old house. I think the house belonged to one of my family members, or someone I knew, but I can't remember who it was. The house had a very modern feel to it, even though it was old. We were all on the second floor, and suddenly Kebab said, "I forgot how sick this stuff makes me..." and goes to the upstairs bathroom, but he gets worried that it won't hold all of his vomit (I laughed out loud as I wrote this out) and so he tries to get to the bigger bathroom downstairs, and... well, let's just say he left a trail, and it was disgusting.

I must have blotched out the part where I cleaned it all up. I remember being on the stairs at the point where it turns (it was one of those kinds of stairways), hearing him vomiting all the way to the bathroom, and then more in the bathroom. I remember thinking, Oh God, I'm going to have to clean this up...

And then I remember being back upstairs with Zukin, Penny, Ivan, and a friend of his, who was in my own grade instead of a year below me, like all three of the others are. I was telling them all about my Dream Journal, and gave them all my DV username so they could find me once they joined the site (Zukin and I were recruiting them all).

Suddenly, I was in my high school cafeteria, just as I am saying the last five letters of it; "E-L-K-A-T..."

And then someone on the complete other side of the cafeteria yells, "E-L-K-A-T!" And then someone else yells it from another side of the room, and soon the whole room is shouting "KESTRELKAT! KESTRELKAT!! KESSSSSTRELKAAAAATTT!!!"

It was so strange.




Murder at the Musical

A friend and I (at the beginning, I don't remember who she was, but toward the end it was one of my friends from college) were acting in a musical about a crazy King who tries to kill his daughter and her friend. My friend plays the daughter, and I play her friend... Her dad plays the crazy King. Can you see where this is going yet?

Anyways, we find out that her father is trying to kill us; He is going to do it right on stage and get away with it because people will think it's just really good acting. Or, it may have actually been that he was going to actually kill us in order to make it the best show ever. I can't remember exactly which it was, or if it was both. In the musical, the crazy King pretends to be the painting in his daughter's room in order to get her and her friend while they are off-guard, and he jumps at them with a knife, killing the friend first, because he knows his daughter wouldn't dare to avenge her friend and he could easily get her right after.

Everyone else in the play found out her father's plan, and was trying to help us. We couldn't go straight to the police because they wouldn't believe us if we did. So we all continued with rehearsals as planned, to formulate our plan and also to keep her father from finding out that we knew his plan. We had to all live in the building in which we practiced, and we weren't allowed to leave at all. It was an abandoned warehouse that was for some reason located on my home street.

When it was time to do a sort of official advertising for the musical (there was a local musical association, and they held an event where all the main characters of the various plays and musicals being put on would gather and try to sell tickets to people passing by on the street), my friend and I left the building (since we were main characters, and her Father could not keep us hidden away with the rest of the cast). Her father was already there, and we were to meet him. We decided we would expose him today, because there would be many people and policemen to help us, and he wasn't really a good actor anyways so he wouldn't be able to lie his way out of it.

The event was being held a couple blocks away, and so my friend and I had to get up the hill on my street. We were having a very hard time doing it, because of our bulky costumes, so we put on roller blades that we apparently had hidden in the bulky dresses we wore. The going got much faster then.

When we reached the top of the hill (that's where it meets the street on which the event was held), we saw that there were many, many more people than we had expected. Even better; more witnesses to his horrible lying and more support for ourselves. We found a policewoman and explain what was going on, and we led her to where my friend's dad was, in his ridiculous costume (like this, just he was a painting of a rather creepy looking clown, and the frame was almost as big as he was). We exposed him, and the police took him away. They told my frind and me that we should get the rest of the cast and crew, so that we could all go to testify at the station.

We go back to the building, gather the others, and get on a bus to get to the police station. As we walked to the bus stop, we all decided that we would have to find another musical to perform in, and that we would stick together because we had become like family. When we got on a bus, and it started moving, a man that had been sitting on a bench at the stop moved with the bus. He was outside of the bus, but moved as if he were in it, even swaying as the driver used the brakes too heavily. I stared out the window at him, and he stared back, grinning. Every time we stopped at a bus stop, the man would appear to adjust himself in his seat of air, so that he looked like he was just sitting at the bus stop. He was describing something to me, and it was strange, because I could hear his voice in my head again. But, I can't remember what he was describing to me. He wore a patch-filled jacket and had a sing-songy voice, but I didn't realize until I was awake that it was the same person from my Gangster Pimp story, who may have been The Face from another dream I had.

The leader of our little troupe suddenly told us all to get off the bus, quickly. In the confusion, the man whom I will call The Face until I learn his real identity vanished. I reach my troupe and find that they have been confronted by a group of white men and women (my whole troupe, except for my friend and me, was black, with only 1 or 2 women). They stood in lines facing each other, with the leaders of the two groups standing opposite each other. It seemed everyone in my own group had a counterpart in the other group, except for my friend and me. I suddenly know that our leader had taken s off the bus because he'd seen the other group waiting to get on it, and wanted to avoid a confrontation; but the leader of the other group had also spotted him getting off, and had stayed, just to pick a fight.

"What are you doing with these little white girls, eh? You messin' with them?" Their leader turned to me. "They messin' with you, honey?"
"We're their friends," I say.
"Oh really?"
"We're in a play- a musical- together."
The other group collectively mocked me and I saw some of their members push some of my friends, so I tried to make myself a human barrier between the two groups, hoping I could stop a fight from happening.

The other group members were saying really nasty, rude, and disrespectful things about my friends, and I could see my group beginning to get angrier, but they didn't make any moves.

Then, I saw my group's leader's thoughts for an instant; but it was enough to know that he and his friends had been in a bad situation before joining the musical cast and crew, and they all wanted to live better lives now.

"Just ignore them all," I said to my friends, while staring into the eyes of the opposite group leader.

That all went on for a few more minutes, and the situation was looking so desperate that I turned around and hugged as many of my group members as I could, crying. I guess the antagonizing gang must have gotten weirded out by my show of affection, and they left with the grumblings of an aggressor who doesn't really want to open that can of worms anymore.

We all sat down to wait for the next bus. People sniggered and talked bad about me, as if what I'd done was the stupidest thing they'd ever seen, and I snapped at them all, "Shut the FUCK up! What would you all have done?! Run away? Watch your friends get hurt?" My group leader ruffled my hair and the rest fell silent, just like my group was. It was all very sober until the bus got there. I sat at a window seat, with the leader to my right and my friend to his right. I remembered my leg brushing his, and realizing I needed a shower REALLY bad because my legs were prickly as fuck.

Then I woke up.