Mezzanine

The house under construction and the bathroom

I'm at a construction site again. I was just here like a couple of days ago!! This time, my dad's in charge. The foreman, I guess. I'm just looking around the inside of this house with the beams up for the doorways and walls, but no sheet rock or anything. I vaguely remember friends being there with me. I went to find a bathroom and the toilet wasn't there. So, as brilliant as I am, I found some toilet paper from who knows where and started unrolling it and putting it on a pile on the floor. I guess the objective was to pee on the pile of toilet paper and then dispose of it?? I got interrupted somehow and ended up walking around to the backyard. It was so weird getting there. It was like the house was underground and to get out I had to go to the uppermost level of the house. When I got there I looked out a window to see a detached garage that... how do I describe this? On a garage door, there are four panels that kind of fold when you use the automatic opener. This one only had two, so it was like half as tall as a normal garage. I wondered if the house was for little people.

The backyard and the Kevin Spacey chase

So I'm in the backyard and it's wooded. There's like a track in a circle to walk around in. I see someone running in the track and it's Kevin Spacey. So now, of course, it makes sense to chase him. So I do and he runs off the track and out of the backyard past the house into the neighborhood, where all the other houses on the block are finished. He trips up as he's running down the driveway. Now it makes sense that he take me into the garage of the next door neighbor's house to show me his penis. He starts taking his shirt off and before he can get to his pants, I notice the door from the inside of the garage to the inside of the house is cracked open a little bit.

The guy on the computer jerking off

Inside the house the door is open a little bit to the kitchen. I see sitting at the table with his back to me the guy that lives there working on a laptop. Kevin Spacey is gone now. The guy on the computer is flipping between playing online poker and looking at porn. He's clearly jerking off. He is jerking off so much that his penis explodes. Not like a fiery explosion, just like poof, in half, and now he has no more penis. Now Andrea's with me at this random house that we're not supposed to be in. The guy leaves and we decide to check out the house. Looking for what I don't know.

Escaping the house

Now we're trying to leave the house and we're back in the garage and we see out a window the guy who lives there coming home with his wife who has the biggest boobs you've ever seen on a woman. And he's got an ice pack between his legs and is walking funny. They're getting out of the car in the driveway. Andrea and I hide under the car that's in the garage. They don't notice us and we go out the side door. Now we're cutting across everyone's front lawns going I don't know, maybe home? Now we have four Rubbermaid bins that go under the bed, two green, two red, and we're sliding them across the lawns. I look back and Andrea is asking me where her sister is. I told her she's still at the house and she tells me that I better call her or text her and tell her to get out of there because the people are home. So I try to text her on my phone but who knows what I said to her because all of a sudden I forget how to make intelligible words.

Last night was not the best night, either. I started to get a headache around the time I went to bed.

First I was a nurse or an orderly in a hospital and there were a bunch of us pushing patients on beds to one part of the hospital. Only half of the fluorescent lights in the ceiling were working and there were some emergency lights that were on and just a steady blue light. The woman I was pushing kept having not really heart attacks, but just like passing out and coming back.

Then I was on a path in a wooded area but when I looked down, I could tell that there had been traffic on this path like cars maybe because there were not really grooves in the path, but flat dirt tracks and grassy tracks. Then a boy, maybe a teenager, in a dress-ish outfit, but with a cord around his waist like a monk or something... maybe he tagged me, or took something from me, or maybe he just startled me, but I started chasing him. He ran into an apartment or maybe a townhouse and I chased him inside and shut the door so he couldn't get out and I could find him in there because he obviously had enough time to hide in that ten seconds it took me to get to the door. ha!

I go in and look around and there's a breakfast bar at the kitchen area. Up pops my ex boyfriend Mike and he's got Taco Bell. He says I can have two tacos. Random!!!

Now I'm in a jewelry store and I think I have to make a payment for something I have on layaway. I go to the lady at the counter and I have to write her a check. I have to write my address on something and she hands me a pair of earrings... to write with... so I use the back of the earring and it is... so... hard... to write like that!!! I do remember writing out my whole address and nothing changed from when I looked up at the lady behind the counter and when I looked back at what I was writing.

Christmas night sucked. I was at my parents' house. I woke up at five in the morning to the sound of what I thought was a burglar breaking into the house with a drill, but no, it was only my dad grinding coffee beans.

I dreamed that I was working at a restaurant. I was like four hours early, but they still let me work. I was just kind of sitting at a table waiting for something to do and then I get up and decide to get people's drink orders. I waited on this one real nice older lady and decided to sit and chat with her. Then I had to get up because I think my boss was looking for me and I didn't want to get into trouble. When I came back, her daughter was sitting down to have lunch with her. She was not bad looking. Yeah, I found her attractive. So, I sat back down in between both of them. (It was a round table, not like a booth.) I could feel the daughter playing footsie with me under the table!! I opened my menu and I could hear the mom whispering to the daughter about how nice I was and that she should ask me to go out and I remember thinking, wow, what would Andrea think?!?

Sleepy Andrew and the sandwiches of the week.

I was at my neighbor Andrew's house at the end of the cul-de-sac. I haven't been to his house since we were in middle school. We were in his room just hanging out and I noticed he had two dressers. On top of one of them was a tv. Over to the left, there was a posterboard with names of sandwiches in a grid. Each column represented a day of the week. I was looking at it trying to figure out a pattern and just when I think I have it figured out, I turned back around to find another tv had materialized on the second dresser. I look to see where Andrew went and he's passed out on top of his bed face down with all of his clothes on. I walked up to him and started taking off his shoes so that I could tuck him in.

The coffee shop and the sex in the car and the lost pants.

I'm in a coffee shop. It's a wide open space and it's daytime and there are lots of windows to let in the light. In the center of the shop is the cash wrap with the registers and stuff. Against the windows at the front of the store are some coffee makers. I don't think the shop has opened for business yet because there are boxes on the floor that look like they've been delivered recently and there are no tables or anything. A girl comes in... I think she works there with me. She asks me what I want her to do. We go out to her car in the parking lot and start having sex in the passenger seat. Then I think I forgot about something that I really had to do and I shouldn't be having sex with this girl, so I get out of the car without my pants and go back to the coffee shop. I realize once I get in there that I can't find my pants and I start looking for them. I go into the back room and it turned back into Andrew's room. I finally found my pants and put them on before Andrew could wake up.

The Christmas train ride leading to the 17th century restaraunt with the acid trip.

I'm on a train. I was in a car with a bunch of people and I don't know where we're going. I leave my car and start heading toward the engine. I get to the front of the train and it's more like a bus now with the driver in the front seat and the door to get out to my right. I'm asking the driver where we're going and all of a sudden everyone starts singing the twelve days of Christmas. We stop and I look out the door and we're at a colonial or old Victorian style restaurant. There was a sign on the front but I don't remember what it said. I get off the bus/train and go inside. At this point, even though there are men on the bus/train, inside the restaurant, there are only women. And everyone is in line to go to the bathroom. There are women everywhere in lines to go to different bathrooms. There are doors everywhere. And there are tables with people sitting down eating and stairs leading in all different directions. Well, now I have to go to the bathroom. I found a door where no one was waiting at it. A girl had just left so I go in. In the toilet, I find skid marks and I think on the way out the girl was waving her hand in front of her nose. At this point, I didn't care. I gave the toilet another flush and then I took off all my clothes. I look in the mirror and suddenly I'm tripping on acid. Everything melts. And the colors get so bold and beautiful. I don't even care that I'm not wearing any clothes. I look around and examine every part of the bathroom. Then I find my clothes in a pile on the floor. I put them on and feel like I had just lost my pants and put them back on again. In the pocket of my pants is a strange contraption to smoke weed out of. It has a small rubber hose and a glass tube. It didn't look like anything you'd smoke out of. But somehow I knew that's what you did with it. I stuffed it back into my pocket. I walked out of the bathroom to go find Andrea. Suddenly my acid trip was over. It must have been something about the bathroom.

The Halloween store and the dog theft.

I'm in one of those stores that pop up around Halloween time that have all the costumes and stuff to decorate your house with for Halloween. I'm walking down the center aisle of the store, looking left and right to try to find Andrea. I see a lot of people dressed up trying on costumes, but they've mixed the costumes together. There was a whole group of like four or five people standing around in like Tarzan outfits with clown hair and big goofy glasses. I picked up a pair of glasses and walked toward the checkout and finally found Andrea. She told me to not get the glasses so I put them down and we walked out of the store. On the way out, on the counter I saw a pair of Oakley sunglasses and I picked them up and put them on my head. Also, on the counter was a small like miniature pincher puppy on the counter. He wasn't black, though, he was all brown. I scooped him up and took him out with me. On the way, a girl at the counter asked me if I was going to pay for the sunglasses. I turned around to see that she was talking to someone else. So Andrea and I walk across the parking lot and on the way I look down and we're crossing over like a grassy median and there's a packet of what looks like advil on the ground. I picked it up thinking it might come in handy later, only to find that it's not advil, and I don't know what it really is. We get in the car and I put the dog on the dashboard. Andrea plays with him and we're driving on the way to my parents house. As we get to the intersection of Gaskins and Springfield road, suddenly I'm out of the car walking down Springfield with my mom and the dog. There is no other traffic on the street.

Last night was a disaster! I couldn't sleep AT ALL. I kept tossing and turning. I think it was because I ate so many brownies last night. I can't remember having a single dream. Ok, that's a lie. There was one. There was a huge beanstalk growing around the inside walls of my old high school and there was a guy trapped inside it. That's all I remember though. I had to take Nyquil to finally get to sleep. bad night.

Last night was a real rollercoaster. At first I had a really choppy dream where a lot happened that didn't really go together. Now... I can't remember it. I might later on today. I think maybe everything else that happened after that pushed it out of my memory.

I was trying to register for a class for school in a little office where there were two desks with receptionists. We were looking online at something, then I asked if I could get online for something while the one lady went out to lunch or something. The other lady had a cat on her shoulder, well, a kitten, really. The kitten jumped off her shoulder and onto the floor. That's when I realized that there were kittens all over the room! All different colors. The room was kind of dark. I go to the computer to look up whatever and the mouse was going so slow. It was unbearable. Then there was another monitor under the one I was looking at with something else on it. It was the roster for the class I had just picked out. This girl I didn't like in high school's name was on the list for my class. I remember thinking, oh that's just great.

Now I'm at my parents' house. My sister is there and I'm furious at her. She's wearing my shirt. All these thought are going through my mind: I don't even like her. Why is she wearing my shirt? Why won't she just shut the hell up? What the hell is her problem? She's like a mental patient. (All things I think about her IRL.) So I sit her down at the dining room table to talk about why she's wearing my shirt. And my mom sits at the head of the table to I guess watch. Every time I start to talk, my sister starts to talk back. I'm trying to explain to her that I don't think that it's right that she wear my shirt because I wouldn't just put her clothes on without asking, not that I would even go to her house because I don't like her. SO she keeps interrupting me and I look to my mom for help and she's no help because she almost always sticks up for her. So, I go into the kitchen and grab a pair of scissors. I go to my sister and tell her that if she doesn't take off my shirt, I'm going to cut off her hair. And I hold the scissors up to some of her hair to prove my point. I am frantically yelling at this point as loud as I can yell. And she makes a move finally to take off my shirt and my mom has brought her a tank top to put on instead. Now my dad's in the dining room wondering what all the fuss is about. I think I started yelling at him, too, for being a pothead. I ran up to my room for whatever reason, probably just to get out of the room with all the tension. My dad comes up and into my room and I yell at him for not knocking.

I go back downstairs and I'm getting into a truck with my dad, my sister's ex boyfriend, and almost my mom. My dad's pulling out and I'm telling him he can't leave mom!! So she's running out of the house to get in the truck. She gets into the back seat with me. We're driving now to a neighborhood that is still under construction. My dad pulls the truck up to a house that's semi-built, like it has walls and stuff, but not much else. He starts bringing in these industrial sized paint cans into the garage. Immediately I know they're filled with pot and he's up to something. Then, he pulls away and on the way out of the neighborhood, I see this other house and I guess I can see inside it and there's this boy's body underneath like a pallet that stuff comes on when it's shipped to a store so the forklift can pick it up. I'm wondering why no one else sees this and ask what he's doing there. My sister's ex boyfriend has now turned into my dad's friend Scott and he says that the boy in the house was killed a few days ago. And that was that. I was thinking we need to call someone or do something but no one wants to talk about it.

We went to the bank. On the way back, we park kind of far away from the house we were at. House isn't even the word, this was a neighborhood of huge mansions. SO as we're getting out of the truck, my dad hands me a check and a hundred dollars cash. I'm holding it in my hand as we're walking and this guy comes up behind me, puts a gun to my head, and tells me he's robbing me. He didn't say to give him what I had in my hand, but I was scared to death. Then he comes in front of me and says it was just a joke he plays on mew neighbors. He has a dog with him. Big dog, like a Malamute. He follows us up to the house. My mom, dad, and Scott go in. I'm standing talking to the guy. The dog is trying to get in, but I tell him that we have small dogs in there and big dogs scare them. SO I close the door and we talk outside on the unfinished front of the house. I notice my lips are the most chapped lips could ever be. They feel like paper. I'm telling the guy that I've tried everything to fix this. He asks me how we came to live here, and I told him mom and dad sold their house and thought it was time for a bigger one. I'm thinking I hope he buys this because no one's selling houses in this economy and I have to cover for them or they're busted. SO he nonchalantly tells me that this is his house and he owns like twenty houses in this development. Then a worker from a house across the way comes up and puts ipod headphones on the guy. He excuses himself and goes to talk to a contractor or something. He calls for his dog, and her name is Annabelle.

I take this opportunity to run in the house and tell everyone to get out, the jig is up, it's that guy's house. So everyone comes out and the guy is back. I wish I could remember what he looked like. I think like the James Bond from Casino Royale. Sort of. Now the guy is all friendly, not like he wasn't before, but he's like trying to be friends with us. I really want him to come up in more dreams so I can interact with him more. Maybe he's like the dad I never had or something.

First. I barely remember this. I was outside of my house which I don't think was really my house. I was calling on my cell phone to get help I think. I dialed three different numbers and none of them connected to anyone.

Second. Many parts. I was at a high school. In a gymnasium. I was I guess in gym class, but no one was wearing gym clothes. We were playing tennis. The net wasn't a tennis net... it was a volleyball net. I had my racket and it was very strange trying to serve over this volleyball net. It's ok, though, we were all having some trouble with it. This girl I used to work with, Borderline, was there. (Andrea and I call her "Borderline" because we think she has borderline personality disorder. She's kind of crazy and we suspect she has a crush on me.) She was on my team and was showing me her outfit which consisted of cream colored pants with almost lime green Adidas stripes down the sides and the same color scheme on her shirt, which was covered up by a cream colored sweater. On the other team's side of the net, there was a cd player like mounted into the wall. One that you could see the cd spinning through the glass. For some reason someone on the other team changed cds and put ICP in. I've never been a fan of the Insane Clown Posse, and was kind of upset when they put that cd in. As it was spinning, it was a black cd with a red cow skull that was I guess singing the lyrics or maybe just opening and closing its mouth.

Next thing I know, I'm in the locker room and I'm trying to find Borderline's locker. I had somehow found her combination somewhere and I felt like she was hiding something from me. Her combo that I found was 1-2-20-20. I was confused because I had never come across a combo that had four numbers, let alone any even numbers. I found her locker and some girls were telling me I'd better hurry up before Borderline came in and caught me trying to get into her locker. I was looking at the lock and the red arrow that you line the numbers up with was off center. All the other locks were normal, though. Well, Borderline came in and caught me. She was really mad and I tried to give her a hug to say I'm sorry, but she refused.

Next thing I know, I'm in a classroom and Borderline's there. She has this evil grin on her face like she's up to something. I get this wave of horrible feelings washing over me and I have to get out of there. I feel like something bad is going to happen. Everything turns into slow motion. I get out of my seat and make my way for the door and it takes forever. I run down the hallway to the door that leads out of school and on my way out, still in slow-mo, I have my hand on the door handle and there's an explosion in the school and it blows me out the door and over a tall chain link fence that's situated to the right of the door as you're going out of it. I grab onto the fence and hang there, stuck to it on the opposite side watching the school blow up. Everything was blown up except for the gym and the locker room.

Next thing I know, I'm back in the school trying to get back into the locker room. I guess since the school had just blown up, I needed to get my stuff out of my locker and go home. There's a teacher telling everyone to hurry up and get their stuff out. In order to get back into the locker room, I had to fit myself into a hole that was blown into the wall that was about five feet wide and two feet deep that was about three feet off the ground. I went to look for Borderline's locker again I guess for evidence that it was her that blew up the school. Her locker had moved. There was a note on it that said so. And A had a locker there, too, that was two lockers underneath Borderline's. (This is weird because A and I never went to school together.) I found a piece of paper that had combinations on it and one was 1-2-2, but I don't know whose locker that was for. Someone was talking to me as I'm looking in like every locker I can get into and I see that they have a book titled "Discovering Disasters" or something like that and I wrote down the name of it. SO I'm looking through all these lockers and finding hoodies. All different colors and styles and brands, and I'm thinking that their owners are probably dead, so I should take them. Then I decide not to. I clean out my locker and leave.

I walk out the back of the building and see that there is a building project going on. They are making a playground attached to the back of the gym. I'm distraught about this. There are tons of kids playing on it and I see that it's not safe. This is by far the largest playground that I've ever seen. It's like city blocks big. There are hundreds of kids and I want them all off this playground! I'm running around telling them to get the hell off this playground equipment. There are tubes to crawl through and slides and monkey bars. The tubes start falling apart. One kid was falling out of the tube he was in and I caught him and he just crawled back in the tube. These kids were not getting off this playground equipment come hell or high water. It was like it was life or death to them. And all their parents were sitting in benches talking to each other and acting like nothing was wrong. I see two black guys and they look like they're realizing that they need to help me get these kids off this brokedown playground. SO I crawl up onto this stuff and find a slide and I go down the slide after like six kids and the slide turns into a tube. Then the tube starts constricting. And flattening. One of the guys was following me, and he asked me if my name was my name. And I was like, how does he know my name? So now... I'm stuck in this flat tube. I have my legs sticking out at the bottom, I almost made it out. I'm yelling for someone to grab my feet and pull me out, but they can't move me at all. They call the rescue squad and cut me out of the tube. I get out and I'm still trying to get these kids off this playground. I'm yelling, "I've been in that tube for two hours and you're *still* on this playground?!?!"

Next thing I know, I'm walking down the sidewalk with someone telling him he should watch Family Guy and to pay close attention to Stewie, he's the one whose head is shaped like a football.

I'm so mad. I slept so badly last night!!! I had pieces of dreams here and there and one that I remember but was stupid and non eventful. And weird. But I'll post it anyway. I suspect that it might have something to do with the diet Dr. Pepper I had last night. I never drink diet soda. Who knows, maybe I'm just looking for a scapegoat.

Something about going to a bookstore. I work at a bookstore IRL. But I was going with this guy Phil who was in my computer classes like two years ago and I haven't seen since. I don't even remember what was so important that we needed at the bookstore. I remember that it was an hour away.

Then I'm in the kitchen at my parents' house. I'm getting some ice cream for a bunch of people that are on my back porch. IRL it's screened in, but here there's just a roof. There are some people eating cake and ice cream and as I'm scooping the ice cream out, I realize that it's just a solid brick of ice cream, not even in a box or anything. Then, my neighbor from across the street John comes over and he's all fucked up. He said he was in a motorcycle accident. I thought this was strange because it's my next door neighbor Randy that has the motorcycle, not John. So he was like bleeding still and had a bandage on his hand like it was all wrapped up. And his face is all bruised. And he sits down and my dad's at the other end of the table and John and my dad start discussing how fast he was going and how many RPM's he was up to.

Then I'm on a school bus. I'm watching my other neighbor from across the street Alice, who has graduated college already, get off the bus at a bus stop that is on the opposite end of the street from where we live. Someone sitting in front of me and I are like spying on Alice. We're trying to figure out a way to get off the bus and follow her without her realizing that she's being followed. I wish I became lucid so I could have done December's basic task!!! It's ok, I still have ten nights to try.

One: I'm working at Target. Stacking liquor bottles into a pyramid shape in the middle of an aisle of other alcohol products. They might be champagne bottles because the tops of the bottles are wrapped up in foil. I guess my supervisor came by and said I was doing it wrong. Well, no one really told me where to put these bottles anyway. My supervisor tells me to look out the window at the fireworks for the Washington Redskins vs. Baltimore Ravens game. So now I'm in a hotel room on one of the top floors looking out the window. I see a ferris wheel and what looks like a state fair or something. But my supervisor was right, there are tons of fireworks going off... but no football game. Next thing I know I'm at that fair. I sign up to play a game and I think my sister's with me. The game is like this: a post in the middle of the ground, and everyone has to attach a string to it and walk around in a circle holding their string. I have no idea what the object of this game is or how you win. And it doesn't matter because as soon as I start walking around, my string breaks. With me there were eight people playing this game, and I crawl underneath the other strings to try to tie my string back together because it broke near the post. Now I can't get back out because of the other people playing the game. I have no idea how I got out, but the next thing I know, I'm by a pond and someone is chasing miniature frogs out of the tall grass around the pond into the pond. I decide to help and end up slipping on the wet grass and falling right on my ass onto a frog. I then fell into the pond, which was only knee deep. I felt like I needed to get out of there before I killed anymore frogs.

Two: Something about a broken water slide at a water park.

Three: I'm performing in a skit or show or something at school or in an auditorium. I get yelled at for doing my part wrong. Everyone had big stuffed animals almost person-sized and they were dogs. We were all acting like cats trying to convince the dogs to have sex with us. Then we were all lined up in a hallway watching a skit on tv that I think we're supposed to mimic. Me and the girl next to me are trying to keep up with what's going on on the tv and then realize no one else is acting out the moves. Some girl walks by and says that the two "yogurt girls" on the end can't be in the show anymore. So the girl next to me and I look at each other so confused because we didn't know what we did wrong. Next thing I know everyone's out in like a courtyard with picnic tables and this guy comes up to me and asks the other yogurt girl if she was ok with him having the same partner as last year. He's wearing roller skates, and so are a lot of other people in the courtyard. She says that's fine and he grabs me around the waist and spins me around and we start going in the other direction. Then she comes up from behind and asks, "what about your class ring?" to the guy. And he said he found it in the trash at home. Then something happens behind us and there's like a fight about to break out. This guy hands me his GPS because he's planning a getaway and he thinks his GPS has a tracking system in it. It is now that I realize that I am wearing only socks and I ask the people around me if I should go put some shoes on.

I'm starting a little experiment. For a week starting last night, I'm going to take a Flintstones multi-vitamin and a melatonin before bed to see how it affects my dream recall and the vividness of my dreams. Last night I had four dreams that I remember.

First: Tom Cruise on a snowmobile. It's like I was watching a movie. It's an aerial shot of him on a snowmobile and he's like racing other people. Weaving in and out of other people on snowmobiles. Then he's done snowmobiling and he's in a sporting goods shop. He's getting something to cover his head like a person who handles bees would wear... even though he's already wearing a hat like Cousin Eddie from Christmas Vacation when they're going sledding (you know, the black leather one with the flaps to cover your ears!). Then, he's out by a river watching this guy wearing camo fishing or hunting or something and he's got a document all drawn up by a lawyer and he's trying to convince this hunter/fisher guy that he needs to join him on his quest to stop all the forest animals from pooping. If he signs this document then he will be famous when they finally accomplish this task. Tom Cruise is getting closer and closer and in this guy's face and then the guy wants to make out with him, kind of like the scene from American Beauty when the next door neighbor is trying to kiss Kevin Spacey. And Tom Cruise is all like, woah, you've got the wrong idea.

Second: I'm at a lake watching some kids play with their dog who is like kind of walking on top of the water, either that of it's just really shallow. Then, I'm looking for my hamster and one of the kids says he's swimming across the lake!!! So I see way far away this little hamster swimming across the lake! It looks like this lake has no end, but on the part close to me, like all around the right side of my field of vision is beach. I know it's a lake and not the ocean because the water is so calm and clear. So I start freaking out about my hamster and I go to save him. I swim out to where he is and bring him back to the beachy shore. And I have him in my hand and I'm yelling at him that he can't do that, he's just a hamster and I turn away and when I turn back he's turned into a little boy and he's all embarrassed that I was calling him out on being a hamster. Ha! Like I revealed his big secret or something.

Third: I'm at the school bookstore looking for a shirt to wear to the gym (probably because I didn't get to go yesterday because I left my shirt at home). I have a shopping cart and I'm with someone else who has a shopping cart. I was looking at the clearance rack and there's nothing but ugly Christmas sweatshirts and shirts with sailboats on them. I had left my shopping cart with my friend who was in line. I turned around and she was gone and our shopping carts were moved out of the line and there were now tons of people in line. I went to grab my shopping cart and I couldn't find my friend and this other girl isn't looking where she's going and runs her shopping cart right into mine. I remember then just turning around to continue looking at some shorts and thinking, "are these longer or shorter than the ones I have now?" But then I turned them around to look a the back and they said VCU on the butt, and I thought, I'm so not *that* girl, and I put them back on the rack.

Last, but not least: Last night before going to bed, A and I watched this weirdness on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqi5F5MqqTQ. So I had this dream that I needed this particular sword to kill this particular enemy like in a video game or I could not vanquish this particular foe. So I went to kill someone else to get this sword. Then someone tells me that I have to go through this mirror in order to get to this person who has this sword that I need. (That part was kind of hazy and I'm sure there's a lot more to it that I can't remember because I was really focusing on this next part.) So I go through this mirror and I walk down this hallway to the last door on the left. I open it up and it's kind of like an auditorium and there are all these blue plastic seats like in a gymnasium, you know, the ones that fold up and you can push them into the wall to save space on the gym floor when there's not a game going on... and there are people everywhere sitting in some of the seats and some are standing... well, each of the seats is labeled differently along the right hand side of the seat. I didn't even look at what they all said, just this one said "sex" and I thought, that's the one for me! So I sat in it and the next thing I know, I had sunken into it and flipped over into another dimension (as if going through the mirror wasn't enough!). It's the same auditorium but with different people in it. I'm in my seat and everything is mirrored, like I was on the right hand side of the room, now I'm on the left. I see all the guys are wearing sweatpants and most of them have very obvious erections. Then, this really cute blond girl sits next to me. She's wearing short blue gym shorts and a white tee shirt. She takes my hand and puts it on her thigh. I immediately have the feeling that I need to have sex with her. So I ask her if there's anywhere more private we can go. She stands up, takes my hand, and tells me to follow her. So I do and she dives between two of the seats across from us and I dive right in after her. We're in a dark room and one thing leads to another... So next thing I know, I've got to get out of there. I find a like a bathroom mirror and try to crawl up into it. Then, I vaguely remember some girl getting beat up and it's her fault no one can get out.

Bizarre, bizarre, bizarre!!!!

EEEEeeeee!!! I had an LD last night!!! I had been doing RCs all day and I finally did one in my dream!

I was taking a girl who said she only had $50 and was going to go stay in a crackhouse back to my place to look after her. I tried to get into my house which was in a weird apartment building and I couldn't get the door unlocked. So I decided to bring her to another one of my houses and the door was open and my cat John was walking in the doorway. I think I said something like, "John, is that really you?!?! I must be dreaming!" And I tried to poke my finger through my hand. It didn't go through, but it felt really squishy and all of a sudden I got a strange orange square pattern in my left field of vision as if it was an indication that yes, I had discovered I was in a dream. It was like the visualization effect on iTunes. So I told John to follow me upstairs and I was so so happy to pet him because Andrea and I put him to sleep probably two months ago. He kept trying to get off my lap, though. And the apartment we were in was nasty gross. Then I lost lucidity. I was just so happy to have my cat that I didn't want to do anything but pet him. And I woke up and almost cried because I miss him so much.

Next. I'm in a mall at a jewelry store with my mom. We go to the back right corner and look into a display case. My mom tells the guy working there that she wants five of the same white gold necklace with some pendant on it. He gets them out of the case and my mom goes to the counter and starts writing a check for them. She signs it with my sister's name and her name is on the checks. But she spells her name wrong. Then she shows the guy her driver's license and my mom's name is now Joyce Garcia. I look at the guy workig there and tell him... in Spanish... that my mom doesn't know how to speak Spanish. So he takes back the necklaces and puts them back in the case.

OMG. Then came the weirdness. I'm having sex with this guy and I think I'm at my parents' house. The bed is squeaking really loud and I'm afraid that we're going to get caught. My friend Trelease is there down the hall going to the bathroom. I tell the guy to stop he puts some pants on. I look in his pants at his penis and it's flat. I touch it and it's all gooey. I'm like disgusted. I go to the door and peek out. I see that it's my friend coming out of the bathroom and go out and giggle with her that I'd just lost my virginity. And it's perfectly normal that I have no clothes on.

I woke up a couple of times thinking about a blue face like a cartoonish character and feeling really happy. No idea what lead up to that, but I think it had something to do with buying back textbooks for work. Like they were a student selling me their books.

Something about a limo again. I knew the people getting into it. I have the feeling I was lucid for a moment and lost it because I remembered the task of the month about public transit and I wondered if getting into a limo and having no control over where you were going counted.

Then I remember being in Kentucky. I asked someone if I was in West Virginia and they said no, Kentucky. I told them I'd been there before for a school function in a hotel (in another dream I'd had) and if I knew they'd lived so close, I would've tried to stay with them. I was at some sort of cabin in the woods with a huge family. It was snowing out and there was about six inches of snow on the ground already. I was walking around the outside of the cabin with some tall guy telling him about how my friend Matt put fudge crumbs in a baggie for me and they were awesome!! (I haven't even tried them yet, they're still in the fridge.) The mom of the family was mad that her daughters, Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, were not wearing the scarves she had made them with the rosaries on them. I had to go and tell them.

I remember two things about last night:

One: I'm at some ancient temple. Outside. It's a rocky landscape, everything's brown. There's a river. It's starting to over flow and there is water everywhere and it just keeps rising. Some tribal people start shooting arrows at me. I have the impression that I have to stop all this water. I feel sort of like I'm in a video game.

Two: I'm in first grade. I'm sitting in the back row and the teacher is starting to tell us vocabulary words. I'm looking in my backpack for a pencil but no one else in class is writing anything down. Someone passes me a note. At the top is written the name of a girl whose time card is in front of mine at work. The teacher is coming and I cover up the note with another piece of paper really quick. There is a tv videotaping everything in the classroom. I walked up to it and focused the camera on the clock which is behind where I sit so I can always tell what time it is. I sit back down and I can't stop looking at the girl sitting behind me. It's Tricia and she's wearing the dress from her first grade picture. For some reason I am really attracted to her.

so, Friday night the only thing I remember is something about a limo.

Last night I was at a holiday party at Andrea's sister's house, drank three beers and we spent the night there. I went to bed around eleven because I had had a hell of a week at work and was exhausted. The party was loud until about two in the morning. And I was cold.

One part: I was in a mall and my friend Emily was there. And another girl I don't know. There was a kiosk in the middle of the mall about two stories high. It was full of stuffed animals and I wanted a panda with magnets in the hands and feet for Andrea. Emily got up on the top level of the kiosk and started throwing down stuffed animals asking, "is this one ok? how about this one?" Then I'm in another store in the mall called "Grandma's Attic" and there was a boy trying on glass slippers. I was so mad that he was trying on girls' slippers that I found a slipper and started hitting him with it. Then I ran away and went to customer service in the mall and there were some older women there and they asked me if I knew what happened at Grandma's Attic. So I told them what went down and they said, "He was trying on girls' slippers and you beat him up? Good for you!!" Then I had to go to the bathroom and I found the corner of the mall and there were a bunch of cardboard boxes. I tried to hide behind them to go to the bathroom and this Asian guy peeks in and asks me what I'm doing. So I ran away to find a bathroom and he follows me into a small bathroom and leans against the door and it looks like he's going to break the door down because it's barely on the hinges. I tell him to get away from the door because it's going to break and he does. Then he tells me he wants to have sex. He starts taking his pants off and his penis looks sooo strange. It's cone shaped and prickly. He says it hurts. I said I bet it does looking like that!!

Another dream: I'm at Andrea's parents' house. We're upstairs in the computer room and her dad tells me to go downstairs by the front door. I go and find two ice cream cones and a big mac. The ice cream cones didn't have ice cream on them, just the cones and ice cream down inside. I bring everything back upstairs and I eat the ice cream cone but I really wanted the big mac, but Andrea's mom was eating it.

Then I was at the top of the stairs yelling at some kid. He was on the ground and I was on top of him yelling that he needed to pay $25,000 to the guy whose leg he broke, and did he just think it was ok to drift through life letting everyone pay for his mistakes?? Andrea's dad came up the stairs and just looked at what was happening and smiled and nodded in approval.

There was an envelope that Andrea's dad told me I had to look in. It's a 9"x12" manila envelope and inside the envelope are printed pages with pictures and descriptions of houses. Apparently I have inherited all this property and I have to choose a house to live in.

Then I'm getting into a hot tub. I went to look outside for it, but it was inside.

First: I'm at my friend Shiela's old house and some people are on her lawn. They're on a flat area at the bottom of a hill. One guy is throwing tennis balls into the air and people are taking turns hitting them with their hands across the lawn. This one guy hits his so hard that it rockets off down another hill to a tennis court enclosed by a chain link fence. It goes through the fence down to a creek at the bottom of another hill. He runs off to get it and I chased after him to tell him not to worry about it, there are more tennis balls and he doesn't have to go get that one. I run fast and slip down the hill and fall into the creek. When I pop up out of the water, I yell, "Cloisine Enamel!!!!" and I'm really pleased with myself for this for some reason. I get out of the water and find the boy didn't get his tennis ball. And his name is Beau. He wants to kiss me. Weird.

Second: I'm I guess at a party with these teenagers and there's one girl going on and on about how her dad's going to pay off her $10k credit card. She has just had a nose job because her nose is all bandaged up. I tell her I hope it turns out ok. But I start to bitch at her for being a spoiled brat. Then there's two lines of people standing opposite each other and people dancing down the middle of them. I started doing some funny dance and all of a sudden I'm flying and break-dancing over one line of people and I end up on the other side of the line watching everything else that's going on.

Third: I'm by a swimming pool and this bodybuilder lady goes to put on some bronzer lotion or something and she comes out all sparkly and strange looking. Then she demonstrates this lotion by putting some on my hoo-ha!!! I felt kind of self-conscious.

Fourth: I was in the Olympics for gymnastics representing Australia. I had to do something on the "uneven bars" which were actually perpendicular bars. I had a partner who also had to be performing at the same time... to music... about sex. For some reason I was hearing Forever the Sickest Kids' "Buy Yourself a Drink." We did our routine and I have no idea what it was but we took the bars off of where they were and were making words on the mats with our bodies and the bars. The crowd loved it. I was done with the routine and I found a waterfall where the gymnasts could rinse off and cool down so I went under it. Then Beau who wanted to kiss me from my first dream pops up and now he wants to have sex with me. I excuse myself to call my dad to let him know I'm in Europe. I go to a payphone but when I dial his number I get a busy signal. Go figure. I decided that his phone must be tapped. Beau is yelling at me from across a parking lot asking me if I want a butter flavored or regular condom. I think for a second and say regular because I'm definitely not putting his penis into my mouth. Wow.

Maybe I was thinking about popcorn from the dream from the night before??? ha!!