lucid

I entered into dream onto infinite plane and in front of me was very, but very nice blonde elf.
I wanted to touch her around shoulders to see how real it will feel, but she jerked away from me... as she jerked away from me I somehow tore her tunic apart making her naked.
There were other inactive DCs around and they went somewhat active and started to stare. One of DC started to sputter (like robot) something like: "He didn't hurt her" which he repeated again and again while starring on her. She just stood and tried to cover herself. Unfortunately there was nothing much to use.
So I closed distance to hand her that ravaged tunic back, but she quickly embraced me... I felt her whole body on myself... interesting feeling. I hold her in close embrace a few minutes till dream faded away.

When I removed myself from my body I found that I'm at my parents house. It was night. My spiritual body was black... I concentrated on my arms... It was beautiful in its own way. Very detailed. On surface it was refracting the light like on tiny diamonds here and there. And after longer observation I saw dark violet aura surrounding me.
First thing I did was calling for my soulmate in the case she is close. Astral zombie of my brother woke up at that point and told me disapprovingly that I should stop to try contact and meet her. He said something like she doesn't deserve my help. And then went back into astral zombie state. Outside of parent house, the snow was falling slowly. I knew that it is summer in reality but I had no capacity to be surprised. So I took flight to her home. As usually I got lost but I managed to retrace my travel and make it back to known surrounding. I repeated this 3 times after I got lost again and again. Pity, I didn't manage to reach her house as last time the redirection was at the same place as return point and I wasn't able to go any closer.
So I turned my eyes on sky. I tried to find the moon, but it wasn't on sky anymore. Therefore, I looked on stars... And I decided to fly to the stars instead. It took some concentration to make it happen and I started to magnify (and fly) to particular shining star. But the star vanished- did I overfly it? I looked behind. I was in space surrounded by myriads of stars, submerged in bluish and reddish nebulae. For a few minutes I tried to find course which I should take. Accelerating randomly in a random vectors to random parts of space. Or at least I thought that I'm accelerating. But my surrounding wasn't changing visibly.
So I stopped and concentrated on stars instead. After short time some stars started to shone more strongly appearing larger than shining dust particles. I took flight to them. And I overshot greatly... when I stopped the flight I was far in the intergalactic space. I didn't even know which direction was milky way. All the galaxies... and not one looked familiar- not that I have memorized shapes and coordinates of galaxies... or stars for that case. So I stopped. And stayed there.


Remarks
- I think I have subconscious block to contact my soulmate- I had discussion with a few people about shared experiences and they think that something like meeting, or waking someone in LD or OBE isn't moral thing to do. That I'm interfering with peoples privacy LOL. Funny opinion, still maybe it lingers now in my subconsciousness since I thought about it for some time.
-I looked in the table now- The moon was setting down at 23:15 and I traveled at about 1:30 at night. Still this isn't good enough proof of reality Maybe I knew that subconsciously, because at around 21:00 the moon was at approximately SWW position.

I went out of body a few times only to be returned back after a few minutes. But at last I managed to stabilize the existence out of body and I went out of my home by shortest possible way, through the roof. Outside, it was pitch black environment. I made myself to discern the surrounding, even if I didn't see anything. And I flew. I wanted to try shared OBE again. I flew, pulled in direction to my soulmate as fast as possible.
The surrounding changed and it stopped to be pitch black... I was in big hall with multitude of doors... to other lives. And I felt I have lost the feeling of pull. So, I started to call for my soulmate. To no avail. I saw a few older looking human like beings so I came to them. I asked them whether they could show me a way to right doors. One about 60 ears old woman with blonde hair told me: Follow me, and she started to run fast. I was able to follow, only just so. After a minutes of run she disappeared through one doors and I dived through those closed doors right after her.
I found myself in blackness. I don't know how long I was hovering there, the time had no meaning for me and I didn't care.
Next thing I remember, I was very young girl. I had slender figure, about 1.5 m tall and black hair. And I was with a boy. The experience started to feel more like lucid dream. I remembered all from this life, then from that OBE and search for my soulmate. And I touched the boy and I was sure we are meant to be together. He was my soulmate and I would never leave him. It was strange to be in girl body. What is normal for a man to feel, the emotions, weren't present. I felt serene. In that LD like experience I knew that my children from this life were alive and well. And I told that boy while snuggling to him about this life and my struggling for something... more... and that I understand things better.

remarks
- Maybe the feeling was there because of state of mind I was in. I stabilize those experiences subconsciously by being concentrated, to be here and now and as much unattached as possible.

I arose out from my body in my bedroom as usually. It was dark as usually when I travel at night, but I adjusted that and I saw everything in soft gray light. First I had to do my task with my daughter- she asked me to try to wake her or pull her out of her body- I tried but I failed. Seeing that it doesn't lead to anything, I went out of my house... and I got totally lost. It looked as if I was dropped in some kind of dungeon with dangerous looking animal like more or less humanoid beings. I raised up my aura and as tired as I felt, I even became intangible(ghost like) to them. I went through this dungeon to nicer surrounding, then to some city.
In this city I went to big building in which there was maze of corridors and stairs, but only a few rooms. I walked inside of this building for hours(subjective). I got to highest possible point and there was room where very shabby looking man slept... the room was stinking, it was full of rubbish. I accidentally switched the light and I heard murmur of that man as if he was disturbed from the sleep... I decided that it will be better to leave. After longer time I found my way out. I was in some kind of village where people lived in very small houses. Even roads were narrow. When I looked behind, the big building was no longer there. And I walked again. I felt tired, very, very tired of everything, of existence. I felt, that it would be nice to get back to my body and sleep. I probably overdid concentration on "here and now" because I was somehow unable to lose consciousness... I was staying conscious on inertia. If I wasn't so tired I would be very glad of that. It was morning, maybe alarm clocks will wake me up.
I stopped to walk and started to meditate, to clear my mind more. And my surrounding abruptly changed. I was standing back in my bedroom. The very air was shiny, sparkling... it looked and felt like I went from astral dimension to mental dimension. I wasn't feeling so tired anymore. In my bedroom, I didn't see my wife sleeping there... But in mental dimension I didn't find anybody after more than 30 years of experimenting yet. I looked on my physical body and decided to go back- I went inside of it and woke it.

Remarks
Today I was going to sleep very tired and at that I tried to do OBE... Well it showed.
When I looked on clocks I found it was only 00:30... I was out of my body for only about 20 minutes. Felt like 7-8 hours for me.

I laid down and relaxed... my body was heavy in short time, and I stopped to breathe... I can stay that way for up to about 5 minutes when I'm that relaxed. The separation is faster that way- breathing can disturb me in time of separation sometimes. I felt touch on my legs, like hands and they went up my legs. I opened astral eyes and I saw exceptionally beautiful young woman with brown hair and brown eyes coming up to my body... She was naked, slim, with firm breasts of about B-cup with small nipples, slim waist... She was coming on all four limbs up, until her eyes were in front of mine. She held me down with her hands on my arms and I couldn't separate out of body. I felt no arousal and looking into her eyes, I had a feeling of falling toward her eyes... Then I needed to take a breath and since I wasn't separated, I found myself back in physical world.

Remarks:
I would say it was OBE to astral projection, but I managed to open my eyes only.
I got aroused once I was back in physical but in that state it was asexual for me.

I had no interesting OBE or dream for longer time.
Yesterday I went out of body only to be immediately stabbed be someone without any warning... some woman like being materialized in front of me suddenly, as I was rising from body- I found that curious. I didn't try to defend myself. Then she stabbed me repeatedly again and again... and after short time that woman like being evaporated away. When I looked on myself to see the wounds, it looked like there is a sword running inside of my body where spine is located up to my head(handle was over my head). I pulled that sword out from up of my head... it had sparkling gems of different colors in the blade... Then i was pulled back to body because my daughter stirred in sleep.
I went out about 6 times more, but all I was doing was only walking and observing, nothing interesting happened there. I have met my older daughters but they don't remember meeting when I asked this morning.

It was late when I went to sleep, therefore I was quite tired. After a while I saw static image before my mind eyes... An big bush, looking like willow... but it had nice red roses. I started to fly toward it... slowly... and then I lost anchor and picture disappeared. And after a while I saw a house... and it again disappeared... Then I felt something similar to what I feel when I do OBE. And I arose from my body- it wasn't astral I found myself in. The feel was different. It was lucid dream. I went on exploration. Firstly my house- I couldn't open door to go out, only inner doors were operable. At the end I went into darkness of basement. I thought that I hear something there... but I didn't find anything. I went to room where garage doors are. It was not dark there, a small light was emanating from fluorescent lamps above. And there in front of the garage doors my brother was standing.
I asked him: What are you doing here?
I can't go out, it is impossible to open the garage doors.
I tried to open the doors myself, but it wasn't possible to move them. So I told my brother that the only way to go out is going through the doors, and I did so. I expected my brother to do so to, but he didn't come through. After short waiting I put my head through the doors and saw my brother on the other side, in the house- he was standing there as statue. Come through, we will walk together! I told him.
He repeated: I can't, it is impossible to open the doors.
So I left him there and went to explore the dream village, walking alone. I didn't met anyone else during long walk through houses, streets and fields. Nor there was anything interesting.

remarks
Even though it wasn't astral travel this LD had some characteristics of astral.

I arose from my body into my bedroom as usually. Also it was dark as usually, when I travel at night. I started to walk around my house, finding nobody, not in beds, nor elsewhere. I wished for light, the darkness felt depressive. I failed to lit my aura, but I managed to see things... to see things, as if they were light sources themselves.
I went outside since there was nothing interesting inside of the house. My village was empty. I felt to be weary somehow. The only thing, that occurred to me, was to fly around... and after a short while I took course to my friend. I doubted, that I will find her when there was nobody in my village. As usually, I got lost halfway to her home... but this was at least interesting- I got lost by following the road, which unexpectedly changed into country road and ended on very high, step and rocky hill. From the upper side I saw both my village and friends village. There was no road down from that hill... strange- how was I following road when there is none now? It shouldn't vanish... I explored a top of that hill. I found there a love pair, a young girl and boy... Of course, they were disinterested in the communication.
I looked down to rocky abyss and I saw something like a shady blots moving up the steep rocky hill side. I turned and told to lovers: "mountain goats are coming this way". They looked in disbelief to me and immediately continued to kiss deeply each other. After a short while, a lineup of animals come directly to me, lead by big mountain goat... Except it wasn't normal mountain goat... it had antlers like moufflon. It came close to me and I sunk to my knees for some unknown reason... and I looked directly into its eyes. Those eyes looked back, and I saw an intelligence in them, something like old wisdom. Something like freedom, and peace. Something like I was assessed by it.
There was sinking feeling in my head and I found myself in a room filled with soft grayish light. There was young black haired boy i one corner of the room. He looked like he is working... but I could say that only by feeling, because the room was completely empty. The whole feeling was as if he is somebody important, wise and powerful.
I told him: " I got lost while walking through astral, could you send me to my friend, please?"
And he answered something like: "I can't do that, you are on too high level of astral comparing to her level and I can't change astral levels for you. You need to learn." And I was back inside of my body.

I felt a need of meditation after I got home from my work. I got stuck without any will in that state for about 1 hour. Then my wife came to me with daughter, they needed quiet place for teaching a poem.
I got disturbed by them, and aware, that my spiritual body is loosened. it took about minute to leave physical body because I felt to be disoriented by interference to the process they were creating by moving on the bed and speaking.
Finally, I severed all the bindings I felt, and I stood up. I felt dizziness. My spiritual body was humming with energy... and everything was shining in strong pale blue light. The room was not out of ordinary, but it was empty even if I heard daughter repeating the poem. I tried to walk away from the room, but I was roughly send back into my body by my daughter... she pushed me roughly into my leg.
But I was still feeling that my spiritual body is loosened so I separated fast this time. I levitated and flew out of house. I shouted very strongly: "Hello Sonia! Remember to tell me, that you heard my shout!" That's one of experiments I'm running for years without success.
My surroundings and myself was shining in strong pale blue light, sky was dark. I felt the pull to the north, and I flew fast. at the start I flew high, but disorientation feeling grew with time, making me to fly lower and lower... The best height was about 1.5-3m above the ground. But at that height, there were obstacles... trees, houses, fences... in sake of fast reaching of the pull center I disregarded their existence and flew directly through them. A few times I crossed even terrain level. To the end of flight I found that I fly to my parents house which was shining in gold light. But then I was again disturbed by my daughter shove into my leg...

Remarks
It looked like higher level of astral dimension. It didn't look like mental dimension.
I met no other being in my surroundings. I was alone there.
My shout felt strong, resonating through everything, but since there was no call from receiver I take this experiment as failed.

I emerged into LD in the night... dark environment, countryside, which was only weakly illuminated by the moon. I flew for long time over my birthplace, relishing in the freedom it makes, exploring the dreamscape from the sky. I was wondering how long I would be able to remain conscious.
Then I started to explore houses in the villages going from one to other... why not, it is a dream. I found nobody even if I expected people to sleep or doing something(sleep zombies). Finding nothing interesting I flew again into sky and I took direction to the city.
After long flight(I was slow) I reached the city... again it looked empty. As I flew over train station I noticed a train engine disappearing leaving two wagons on the tracks. I found that intriguing so I flew down. I entered one of the two wagons and second wagon disappeared too. In the wagon, there was maybe 30 people. Wagon transformed into bus. It started to move. I was going from rear part of the bus to forward part. I saw there a flash of panther like pattern, shining in the darkness for a second or two. That made me aware, that there is my friend in the bus, she likes to wear that pattern. So I came to her and conscious that it is a dream I had no problem to embrace her from behind... She looked to me, startled, recognized me and vanished. I was surprised by that too... but what could I do with that? I left the bus on next bus station. Then I flew for a long time around the city and away from it till I disappeared from LD into waking life.


Remarks
It was a long dream... According to clocks it lasted over 2 hours. I had sharp consciousness through whole experience, but there was nothing interesting... other than meeting the friend.
Second dream where I met her this way(embrace and her disappearance after that).

I first listed through random images of faces in my mind eyes, but then I decided to go for other approach to induce WILD.
I went for induction of WILD by moving through tunnel. Once I started to feel the movement I applied will to escape the tunnel and fly out of it. I flew out into open country, covered in total darkness- there was self-shining road close by, so I steered to fly above it. The road went from left to right side... I let the pull lead me, so I took left turn. After short time I tried to accelerate my flight, to reach the source of pull faster. I started to hear soft whining of jet engines somewhere at my legs .
The faster I flew, the bigger problems I had to stay above the road. And I found out that I had to fly above road, because when I was on the side, the pull was weak. Then I came to sharp turn and I flew directly into darkness unable to overcome my inertia. I turned and braked my inertia and starting to accelerate back toward road. As I came closer to road, maybe 10 meters from it, I felt something caught my legs and prevented me to reach the road. I looked behind, and I saw only darkness. I pushed more and more power for breaking the grip... the jet engines were roaring It wasn't soft whining anymore... Still it was of no use, I felt more and more resistance as I increased the power. My aura flared in deep blue light full of bright violet sparks and small bolts- with help of that light I saw, that nothing was holding me... but still there was feeling of strong grip. And the dream dissolved after that.

Remarks:
1. When I come to my senses I felt the pressure as if something pulled my feet... it was my bed! I was sleeping on my stomach, with feet over the edge of bed and I subconsciously pulled my feet forward... and because I had them exactly over edge of bed I pressed strongly on that edge!
2. I wonder what that image of meandering road meant exactly... why there were such turns... I certainly didn't imagined it consciously.
3. This was first interesting LD after a few months.

I emerged into dream at some unfamiliar place, the sun was shining, the nature was lush and gorgeously green. I was walking and observing... for a long time straight in one direction.
I wondered where everyone is. After some time I saw a three person walking, slowly, one after other. So wanting to be in a company, I changed direction to them. When I came closer I saw that those people were zombies... I'm dreaming! OK, so I will explore. I came closer to them, they were strange, Their skin was covered by short twigs with small leaves... some small mushrooms. They registered me as I came about 2 meters from them. They were slow. I wondered when they will stop to move and enroot. I wasn't interested to battle them, they didn't do anything threatening to anyone... and to me... well, I didn't matter of course. So I took original route and walked away.
After some time I came to the city. Nearly empty. On the streets those zombies slowly walked around aimlessly. They were in various state of change into plants.I saw some zombies walking around broken fence, each of them was wounded by broken fence, leaking brownish green "blood" from wounds. I stopped to observe what will happen next- there was man running through that fence some time later and he got scratched... from scratch small twigs started to grow... he was zombified...
I walked again... I saw big river, so I walked there. I found normal people there. They were trying to get to ships and to sail away from land. I had chosen one ship to sail where other people wanted to go. There was captain- a dark haired woman, she asked people their names, some of them weren't allowed to sail on that ship. She asked me for my name. I introduced myself. She told me that I can sail on that ship, that my wife reserved place for me. I started to examine the ship... and I saw that it is starting to take a water, we were too heavy. I went back to the captain and told her that I will not sail with her ship, because it is too full of people and it will sink in short time if enough people doesn't unship. And I went out of ship. At once, the ship was maybe 10 cm higher so, it wasn't taking water in anymore.
I was walking through some buildings, dark without electricity. People were scared of zombies and tried to hide there. They looked like they were scared of each other too. I found a young girl, less than 20 years old with brown hair in ponytail. She was trying to learn something from scripts- I felt that she has to have an exam. I told her to be calm and relaxed, that all will be much better then.
I went out of building back on the streets. There, I accidentally touched a zombie- I thought that other girl is in problems, but she was zombie already. And I felt as twigs started to grow from my skin... and that my consciousness starts to slip away. Of course I couldn't allow it. I concentrated and blue aura exploded from me, cleaning my skin, and also skin of that girl because she was close and surrounded by my aura too. It looked like she was healed, since she stopped to walk slowly and was alert at once. "Go in peace, you were healed" I told her and walked away.
I came to something looking like small electric plant. A few engineers were there talking, that they need to start electric generator, but they feared to enter the building. So I volunteered. I went inside. I walked through quite empty building to the room, where generator was placed. I went into room and felt something dangerous at once. So I closed the doors from inside, blocked them and shouted to engineers, that they shouldn't go inside, into room (to me), because there is demon inside. I started the generator. Then I located the demon- he/she was dark, unhappy being. He/she wanted to go out, but didn't know how to open those doors. And he/she couldn't walk through wall for some reason. I started to talk to demon, trying to find a solution to his/her predicament. I woke up short time after that- I didn't have time to help...

Remarks:
I don't understand: why the zombies again? They were different, but why? I don't look on movies with them, I don't think about them, in my opinion it is just very, very stupid fantasy. (Dream zombies are different, I only name them as zombies- not because they are, but because they are moving around without reaction, doing strange things.)
DILD feels much, much less conscious than WILD ...

I emerged into lucid dream close to some house... so wanting to explore I went inside. I found there naked young woman with brown hair... She was irresistibly sexy. It was great sex (I won't go into details), but... pity, I should resist the urge, I couldn't find anything new there because of this. A lost chance.

Remarks
The dream lasted about 15 subjective minutes.
The feelings I got were great, but it is pity I didn't explore instead. I would probably last much longer in the dream.

I drew myself up from my body and I felt myself trembling a little... Everything was shining in grayish light in the darkness, even the air itself contained small particles shining in soft gray light... When I looked around myself, I saw no body, not myself, not my wife, nor children. I looked to other rooms but nobody was there. I didn't go downstairs...
Instead, I flew like on autopilot right through southern window into the night. With no target on my mind, I flew some 5 - 10 meters above ground, in general direction to the city about 8km away. It was dark... it was nighttime in real life after all (when I traveled). The houses of my village bellow me, silent... I left them behind. I left my village, I flew over meadows and small woods. I saw all the plants, trees, rocks, river... everything sharply lit in that grayish light. I felt to be tired, my consciousness wanted to shut down and sleep, but my will was keeping me conscious. It was tedious task. I crossed first stream of the river, and then I got to second part which has about 7 - 10 meters high walls- it is used to feed water dam to make electricity... I got problems with concentration there (it made the flying problematic), but I managed to overcome it and I shot high to the sky while crossing second stream of river. I sat on the few meter big rock and stopped looking around. I felt loneliness... there were no people, nor animal life there. Only plants, water, rocks... Weak emotions ran through me... Where are you? I called... There was no answer...
I flew again and into silent empty city... no light from windows... all cars still on the road. I held myself conscious by iron will through tens of minutes... It felt like hour long experience when I felt, that I was losing the strength to remain awake, so I willed myself awake.
I controlled the time- yes it was half past 1, about one hour passed since I lay down to the bed.

Remarks
I felt quite tired, wanting to go sleep, but once managing it out of my body, it would be pity not to explore surroundings a little.
There is no rock in real life close to that second river stream.
I hoped, that I didn't call that in real life- the connection between real body and astral one may be quite useful but on other side it may cause some minor problems... like waking people around myself
Strange how I'm able to feel emotions lately... without loosing balance of my consciousness and therefore stability of OBE.

I emerged into lucid dream with my wife, hand in hand... the place was unknown city, it was dark night, the sky was without stars or moon, but there were many shops opened and shining, lighting the darkness in front of them. I walked with my wife hand in hand down the street, looking around. My wife was more like sleep zombie then lucid. She spotted some beauty shop and insisted that she looked old and that she needs to look better and younger for me. I disagreed but couldn't do anything before she entered that shop. Firstly, I wanted to follow her, so I wouldn't lose her in dream, but then spotted something strange.

There was a tunnel a few tens of meters away, lit in darkness and some kind of a monster was at the end of it. I decided to investigate that. There is no fear in the high lucidity of experience I had. So I entered the tunnel. While tunnel looked a few tens of meters long when I was at its beginning, it was only optical illusion. It was only about 3 meters long and everything in it was painted... I got quickly to the monster, but it was only pixelated painting. I turned back to be quickly by my wife. I was back in the beauty shop under one minute, but my wife disappeared. I went away from the shop, into the city. I walked for long time without thoughts, without aim, without emotions... I was only observing my surrounding taking the information from it.

After many tens of minutes I decided that I should take more active approach and I decided to examine some buildings. So I turned to closest one, with very big double sided doors. I opened them easily... and behind those doors there was only about 1 meter space... but as I turned, I saw that in 90 degrees angle from doors direction there are broad stars up... everything was lighted in bright white light, but without visible light source. The stairs ended in great hall... there were sitting benches and a few dream zombies moving around without aim. Otherwise, the space was feature less. Wanting to go back, I turned, but those stairs disappeared- there was only featureless white wall at its place. I wasn't interested in those mindless people there. In retrospective, I could try to interact with them... maybe even try to have sex. But as nearly always I don't have such intentions when my lucidity is so strong. Not knowing what to do and not wanting to end the dream at that time, I decided that I will sit down and relax for some time. I was there tens of minutes of subjective time.

The surrounding changed and I found myself sitting in the bus driving to my village. The surrounding was familiar. It was night there. When the bus drove into my village I asked old woman which was sitting close by, where is the bus driving next. She told me that it is going to village where my friend lives. So I decided that I will not get off of it but I will try to visit her. Well the bus drove into unfamiliar surroundings, the place looked like one where I got often when I get lost in my LD and OBE experiences. I asked again whether this bus goes to her village, and the answer was yes. So I waited. And really, I saw the familiar scene- but there was marked difference- the right side of the road had about 80 degrees downwash, 100 meters or more deep, and at the bottom of that valley the shining yellow hot lava flowed. The left side looked like it should, but right side, where also my friend house stands wasn't there. Not even sidewalk was there. Parts of tarmac road was looking like it was running off to the valley. I resettled the dream not wanting to go there, trying to go to the right place.

Now, I was flying to friend's village. Everything looked OK. Till I got to her village- again, the right side of the road was deep valley. The difference was, that that valley didn't contain lava stream, but now it was full of trees. Even the steep sides. So I decided that I need to wake up to reset the dream properly. And I woke up.


Remarks:

* My wife wasn't too lucid there, more like typical dream zombie, but at least she reacted to me. Dream zombie is my term for people in lucid dreams and OBEs- those people look normal but are like automatons, or robots in their activities.
* My wife lamented about her age and looks night before, and I tried to persuade her that it doesn't matter to me and to our children and that we love her... this probably translated into dream.
*I went to sleep after long relaxation, so I wasn't tired... I was left with 4 hours of sleep left... and I was so focused that I decided to try the lucid dreaming or OBE if I would be able to. WILD came first here.
* Real time of this WILD was about 1 hour. I found that I wasn't tired being lucid for so long... but of those less than 3 hours of sleep I was left, I don't remember of any other dream. And I'm not feeling sleepy.