Post Your Funniest Dream Control Fails

[spellbee2]

Any lucid dreamer knows that sometimes attempting to control the dream can lead to unexpected (and sometimes hilarious) results. So here's a place to post your funniest/weirdest/most embarrassing dream control fails. For example, 2 nights ago in a lucid, I tried to summon my dream guide. Instead, a talking roll of toilet paper showed up on my bathroom counter, lecturing me on paying taxes and investing in stocks and bonds.

[ExothermReacton]

Oh, there have been quite a few fails there for me. 1. Trying to summon a fortune cookie but all the time, totally unrelated objects appear such as a walnut, some dirt, leaves and other rubbish. I did it on the sixth try or so. 2. Trying to get advice from my dream guide how to control fire and getting the answer "Errrrm... try to drink beer?" 3. Trying to fly and directly land in wet mud. (It is uncomfortable, even in a dream) 4. Trying to control a dog with my mind and getting bitten by it. (No, I didn't tell it to do that) 5. Trying to run through a glass door and failing bitterly 6. Trying to shift forms into something cool and all what happens is that my neck gets incredibly long. (Holy, that was terrifying although I was lucid) 7. Trying to activate a light by snapping but it always turns off after a while. Wonderful dreams, wonderful dreams.... Wonder what my toilet paper roll has to tell me.

[JadeGreen]

Well I remember before I properly understood my fire jets, I tried a few times to use my fire manipulation abilities in combat. I remember rather humorously raising my hand up to throw a bloom of fire at an enemy and instead went rocketing backwards into a tree. Even to this day my skill at landing when flying is... well not that good. Usually I just end up 'cutting the power' and letting myself fall into the general vicinity of where I want to be. Dream-me is more or less invincible so I sometimes just fall and crash through cars or buildings. (One time, I broke several tree branches when falling, another time I fell through a boardwalk, and yet another time fell through the roof of a building.) Lest we not forget this: Stars become visible, I am in deep space, and tumbling around uncontrollably. I manage to stop myself spinning and see the crescent of a planet or moon nearby. I look at the destination and attempt to rocket closer. Nothing happens. I decide to make use of voice commands. "Fly!" Nothing. "Accelerate!" Nothing. "I am a rocket ship!" Nothing. "GOD F**KING DAMMIT MOVE!" I half expect this to happen because it's happened before but I get jerked forward at an absurd speed and smack into the moon with such speed and force the entire moon disintegrates into molten slag and mountain-sized boulders. It's only the third time I've collided with a planet at relativistic speeds and destroyed it. And pretty much every time I've tried to teleport and either woken up or lost lucidity probably counts.

[Rockefeller]

My dream funniest control fail are: -Trying to go through a wall(I bump into it instead) -Flying.

[FryingMan]

Tried to summon a girl (for, uh, conversation, yeah, that's it!), got a basketball on the counter instead. Encouraging a female DC to engage in some "fun time," she shouts instead "I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS!"

[d4oor]

My first time ever LD'ing I tried to summon an apple but got a broken light bulb

[AtlasJan]

Well, the two main ones that I can remember are... Attempting to fly after abstaining from doing so for an extended period of time and flying at a snail's pace. Attempting to conjure up money to pay for something and instead getting chocolate coins.

[Saizaphod]

Okay this is too fun, I'll scroll through all my lucid entries once I get home from work in a few days. I must have something funny happened to me as well

[Rothgar]

A couple weeks ago I decided to see if I could walk up a wall. I got horizontal ok but without any gravity pulling me to the wall I just floated and couldnt get any traction. Next time I need to think of wall-gravity!

[DeDromer]

I tried to summon a bike. Instead I found a very dirty toilet

[Clidu]

Forever running then jumping to fly only to land on my chest =/ lol

[MadzAssassin]

Once I tried to control another DC's actions, they just turned and looked at me with a face of - 'Really? Like...are you serious?'