Keep it up, NM. The brain is plastic, and the more you find ways to work it out, the more it will expand and enable itself to do more, clarify better etc. Last night. Non-lucid I have a new girlfriend. She is amazing; professional, beautiful, attentive, selfless, totally into me. I'm pretty smitten with her. We're cuddling and I'm telling her that my parents want to meet her. I tell her we're going to go to dinner with them Friday evening. It is dark and we're under the covers, getting ready for sleep. She whispers in my ear that she doesn't want to go out to with my parents and explains she was hoping we could get out of town for the weekend, since we have both been working so much. I tell her how wonderful that sounds and explain that my Mother would be crushed if we bailed. We discuss it for awhile. We have great sex, like we're in a dream. We're at dinner. The place looks like some seedy video poker place with a sushi buffet in the main room. We have an indoor balcony seat overlooking the buffet. It looks like folding tables covered in cheap cloth. On top of that are bags of ice that look like they were purchased at a gas station. The tables are wet and the sushi looks terrible, almost like it's been sitting in the ice bath in contact with the water. My new lady starts to talk about how terrible it is to eat animals and I begin to think she's a bit annoying about her diet. I eat a piece of sushi. It is canned tuna fish and cream cheese wrapped in white rice. Nothing short of terrible. Edible, but what I would expect from some redneck Asian themed party. I begin to think going vegetarian doesn't sound so bad after all. I look at my girlfriend. She has dark brown hair, fine, and just below the shoulder. It's parted in the middle. She's wearing thin rimmed glasses with oval shaped lenses. White button up blouse buttoned down just enough to be sexy and still be appropriate for my family. I can't see under the table but I guess she's wearing a dark sheer skirt that cuts off just below the knees. I bet she's wearing her comfortable heels;The short ones with just a thin black strap and buckle to tighten them on. I'm at some party. It's a warehouse I've visited before in my dreams. Months back I broke into it during the daylight while my friends kept an eye on the security guard. I was looking for a backpack I lost at a party presumably just like this one. I'm riding a mini-bike with my friends through downtown Portland. We're arguing about whether we have time to catch a train and go Zoobombing before going home. It's pouring and we're soaked. Some of us catch a train, others miss it or stay behind. The city isn't quite right. It's toobright in spots and the max line is all wrong. I'm on the max trying to figure out what's not right... The sounds of an autistic man breathing in and out of a harmonica wakes me up. It's 5:13. I can't really remember any of the other dreams I had, and I'm sure I've left out big sections. My recall really sucks when I'm at work. (I stay overnights and get to sleep. It's part of my job)
When I sleep at work overnight I get an odd feeling in the bones of my lower leg that keep me from entering SP. Also there are many other factors that affect my ability to stay asleep, so I often forget the interrupted dreams until much later. lucid I'm in a dark house and there is a presence there. I know the person from somewhere, but this time he feels old. I cannot ever see him. There is a painting of a fire on the wall that seems to illuminate the dark room from within. I telepathically tell the man I wish to control fire and suddenly I am scrutinizing the painting as if with a looking glass. I'm making the fire glow white hot in places and grow cold in others. I'm shaping the fire and fixing it's intensity. It has become a mighty efreet, trapped not in a bottle, but in the piece of art, is the piece of art. Telepathically the man asks me "Do you dare release the djinni?" I can feel the anguish of the trapped fire being and it is fairly intense for a minute. There was much conversation after that which I cannot remember. Before this were disjointed dreams about old friends and approximations of St. Augustine, FL. The moment I was inside the house I became lucid without even having to acknowledge it. If it wasn't for the Dream guide (at this point I'm thinking the guy I can't see is just that) I might question whether I was lucid. It was just such a smooth transition; no excitement, no need to validate. A request for power from some unseen sage was the only thing important.
Took a long nap this afternoon, since I've been sick all weekend with no time to rest. I entered sleep paralysis and couldn't gain control. I just laid on the bed attempting leave my body when I began to False awake right into sleep paralysis over and over. Each time I knew immediately what was happening. Then things got wierd... lucid I FA in bed with my eyes open and realize the room is different. I attempt to break Paralysis and everything fades into black. I FA looking through my closed eyes and attempt to change my surroundings instead. I really want to be a gladiator, but things just get blurry and fade to black. I FA and realize that each time I attempt to do something I become aware of a limb or my eye movement, or something tensing up and I fade into another FA. I'm laying in bed thinking how cool it would be to create zombies, except that I'm in SP and still can't do anything about it. I look over and see my friend Matt sitting against a wall in my room. We begin to talk and, I feel like I'm awake and everything is normal, until I realize that I'm still in sleep paralysis pretty much. I tell Matt that I need to count my fingers because I can't tell if I'm dreaming or not. He laughs at me. As I count my fingers tangle and I begin to double count my fingers. I show them to Matt and tell him " Look! I'm dreaming because there are too many fingers. He laughs again and tells me I should be careful, since people are likely to think I'm crazy telling them about how I have too many fingers. I become obsessed with counting my fingers for a bit and then remember that I want to be a gladiator. I try, but I'm powerless and everything goes black. I don't lose the dream, though. I'm sitting with a hood over my head and I can hear the cheers of the crowd swelling and ebbing in waves of sheer excitement. I'm nervous. In my mind I can see the dark tunnel leading out into the arena and the way the light from the outside just barely cuts through the gloom. I am sitting with my head down, still feeling paralyzed, running previous battles in my head. I think 'This is it, It's almost my turn.' I wonder if they will ever set me free. I also wonder if I'm going to wake up before I get to see anything around me, let alone fight. I wake up in bed, the sunlight shining in my eyes.
I went to lay down and my ears were ringing very loudly. I fell asleep to some interesting hypnagogic images and strange concepts. It was about 1am. I was dreaming, but am unsure of what or for how long. I know that at about 2am the disabled man I work with overnight woke up and, as is his fashion, began breathing in and out of a harmonica and pacing the house. dream/ I wake in a bed on the floor just like I normally do. I am about to get up and use the bathroom when a co-worker of mine peeks into the room and tells me it's time to get up. My client, "D" likes to go for van rides first thing in the morning. Irritated, I tell her that it is way to early to take d on a ride, and that it is against protocol to be up interacting for anything other than basic needs during sleeping hours. This is established to keep d from demanding rides and other play interactions at all times of the night, increasing the possibility that he become violent if things don't go his way at 4 in the morning. My co-worker informs me she only does this as a reward a couple of times a week. We argue back and forth for a few minutes and I hear D putting his shoes on. Irritated further by the sound of velcro straps I tell her I am going to make myself food first and d is going to have to wait. I go outside and reach into the glove box inside the van and grab 2 cellophane wrapped whole wheat ham wraps. As I'm walking back to the house I notice the facade looks like the front yard of the house I grew up in. D is running circles around things in the front yard and my co-worker is laughing. I comment that they should just keep doing this so I can go back to bed where I should be and walk into the house. I decide to go into the darkened utility room to prepare my food. I am planning on putting dressing on them, but as I open the wraps I realize that only 3 pieces of ham were on the wraps; no lettuce, tomato, nothing! Even more angry than before I start to put horseradish sauce and some funky cheese spread in a squirt bottle on the wraps. The cheese spread looks like someone took a block of cheddar and shoved it into the bottle and it began to break up. I begin wrapping the wraps in cellophane and they turn into triangle cut slices of cheddar and the sauce is all over my hands. I wrap them up tightly and hurry to the van in a terrible mood. 'It's too early for this shit' I think to myself. We ride around until almost sunrise in silence except for the harmonica. At some point I attempt to eat my saucy cheese slices but I can't get them unwrapped. There is another long dream where I'm at a car dealership complaining about their virus software advertising. Then I'm running with an invisible partner through this crazy obstacle course. I fight some jerk in front of his friends and end up making him tap out to a sweet arm bar, and finally I get a ride in a truck to a place where my friends' stolen bikes are and take them to ABC bike shop, but the sun is just starting to rise and the shop is closed. I sit outside until the sun comes up and then wake for the day. I would write in more detail, but it's like 10 more pages and I just accidently erased my journal entry with those things in it's near entirety.
I had attempted, as I do most nights, to enter WILD at the very beginning of my sleep cycle by laying on my back. I began entering SP, which felt like I was electronically flickering in and out. There was a flash of white light through my whole body and I violently jerked. This, of course, woke me up and I decided to take my chances with dream induced techniques and maybe WBTB. I had a night full of fragmented dreams, false awakenings, ranging from Non-lucid to fairly controlled LD. My recall of the evening is poor. I remembered two parts of the evening, the first was one of this year's tasks which came to me slowly as I took the bus home from work. (by the way, I get paid to sleep, and thus to practice my lucidity skills) The other I didn't remember until some twelve hours later when someone asked me about the person I dreamed I was. Non-Lucidlucid Cretaceous/ Tertiary Mass Extinction I'm in an office and know immediately that I am dreaming. I look to my right and tell a man in slacks, dress shirt and tie that we are about to witness a terrible asteroid collision that occurred tens of millions of years ago. The DC told me I was crazy as I watched the scenery around me shift to lush green outdoor. The sky was blue and cloudy. I had transported the office staff with me and we were standing in a field surrounded by trees, bushes, like the land at the edge of a forest. The DC's were hanging out happily as if it were some picnic in the park, some drinking from plastic cups. I tell the crowd to "Stop talking and witness the fall of the dinosaurs!" Someone said that we were just in the park and I thought about saying something like 'yeah, JURASSIC Park!'. but my better judgement prevailed. The cusp of a mass extinction is no laughing matter, I tell myself. I told them we were in the time of the dinosaurs, and someone asked why there were no dinosaurs. I looked around to see that, indeed, there was no dinosaur in sight. I looked into the skay to see the asteroid approaching. "LOOK! IT COMES!" I shout. The asteroid looked like the boulder from '...Temple of Doom' only much, much larger, and I watch it hit what looks to be a life sized lego jungle some distance away. Everyone but one guy gasped and ran away. The man ans I stayed behind to witness the devastation from afar for a moment before starting the journey to the epicenter of the collision. As we neared the impact site more and more things were blown down and/or ablaze, and there was smoke, dust, debris surrounding us, getting thicker and thicker as we neared the impact crater. There was what I assumed to be a large protection bubble around us, keeping about 20 or so meters around us clear of any dangerous fallout and allowing us to actually see all of this. The main impact crater was beginning to cool, it seemed, and when we reached the rim I became almost mad. I began to laugh and make the ground inside the crater rise like a mountain from the fiery hole. I willed the earth to glow hotter and hotter like white hot coals. My DC companion told me this made him uneasy and I laughed maniacally. I told him I would erect a fire mountain larger than anything on the planet, and he told me I'd gone mad. I screamed that nothing would survive but the blinding glow of my fire mountain, my "Tribute to the death of all life". I was unable to look at anything but the blinding glow of my massive formation. I began to lose control and everything became gradually more and more transparent looking. My DC companion calmly said "You're pushing yourself too hard." That's all I remember. I never actually saw the DC. Only felt his presence and heard his words in my head. I wonder if that was a DG. I've had what I thought were DG's before, and they only show up around important events like precogs and projections. Anyone have any thoughts? The next thing I remember about my dreams was this evening. Someone asked me how my friend was doing. My friend has been missing for a few months now. He has been homeless now for around a year and has had a hard time finding and keeping steady work. Around Christmas he went to stay with his sister and was accused of stealing a bunch of expensive electronics just before he left from his sister's family. He adamantly denies doing this. I'm in a house. The feelings are that of disease, distrust, loathing and pity. The house looks like it could be a modular home. Cookie cutter lower income family house. There is evidence of children and the place, while not a complete disaster, has the look about as if maybe only one person gives a damn about 5 people's worth of lazy. I'm standing at a counter and two women are talking. They are heavy set and familiar looking. A man walks by and makes a snide comment to me about keeping my hands off of things that don't belong to me. He's trying to be clever and hurtful but only succeeding at the latter. I realize that I am my friend, and immediately I have access to more than just his vision. I can feel the balding, the color of his hair and eyes, the heavy center and belabored breathing. I/he feel guilty, because I know I stole the stuff. My sister has given me a second chance because I'm family and my brother in law wants to kick my ass out into oncoming traffic. I feel like I deserve it, but I'll never own up to what I've done. They have all agreed not to hold a grudge, but the brother in law just can't help himself. The dream is unexciting and lonely, full of self pity, anger and fear.
I've been trying to Skydive off a skyscraper all month without success. I went out and split a beer with a friend, outlining basics for LD's. She asked me if I had skydived yet and I told her that I was going to be successful this evening . I went home, cozied on the couch with the television on and the volume low. Dream/lucid dream It is summer and I'm pallin' around with a few beautiful girls who were all infatuations of mine in my youth. I'm trying to figure out which young lady is interested in me. I want all of them, but don't want to ruin my chances of getting ahead with at least one by obviously playing the field. The whole day is spent swimming and walking in the woods, picnicing and playing games. The sun began to set and we head back to a cabin in the woods when I begin to realize that none of the girls are actually people I know. They identify as familiar people but look nothing like anyone I know intimately. I become confused and try to figure out what is 'wrong' with my situation, when the dream shifts me to a few hours later. I'm standing close to one of the ladies under the orange glow of street lights on what looks a lot like a Portland Max stop. ( the max is a public rail system) I lean in for a hug to say goodbye to the beautiful girl and I smell her hair. It's clean and dirty blond. The smell is familiar but as she pulls away in mild disapproval she looks like someone I know, not the someone I'm identifying her with. She tells me I had my chance and blew it long ago. I tell her I understand and apologize for my past transgressions, all the while attempting to figure out why things are strange. All of a sudden My three closest friends are there, making fun of me for striking out as the train pulls up. None of my friends look like they do in real life and I again am attempting to place the inconsistency. Before I do I'm transported to an hour later, when I'm exiting the Max. My girlfriend Kaitee is waiting in the parking lot of the steakhouse across the street from my apartment building. She's in our car and parked next to another vehicle. As I approach I notice that people are arguing with the guy inside the car next to mine. I ask Kaitee if she's safe and she says everything is fine, so I get in the car. Looking around I notice the neighborhood is strange and again begin to question why things are so inconsistent. Before I can come to a conclusion, the guy next to us is running away and one of the other men shoots at him. We drive off, afraid for our safety and Begin to drive up a strange winding hill. The moon is full and shining brightly through the trees. I begin to question things as Kaitee becomes some guy I don't know. He hands me a small dog and drops me off at the foot of a creepy mansion. I climb one handed up to the third floor and onto a balcony, where I let the dog go. The dog runs into what I assume is a hotel room and I again become confused as to how it was possible to climb up with a dog in my arms. The room has vaulted ceilings and gold leaf on everything. There is expensive art and antiques everywhere in the room. There is a privacy screen where a woman is changing. Before I can resolve my confusion the woman sees me and begins to scream. I explain I'm looking for the owner of the dog and she calms down. I still leave quickly, afraid of being arrested. Realizing I left the dog I decide to go into the lobby on the first floor and search for the missing mutt. As I find the dog I begin to question how the dog came to be on the first floor lobby when I left it in someone's room on the third floor only moments ago. The dream changes. I'm with the girls again, and this time one of them is extremely interested. She sits facing me on the couch. Straddling me we begin to kiss. I take off her shirt, she has very sensitive nipples. I begin to wonder why she is so hypersensitive to my every touch. I want it badly but cannot continue until I cle3ar up my confusion and the dream shifts again. I'm in a house at work. The house is strange and I'm examining every room for some sign of familiarity. I feel so close now to the explanation for why things are off and when I enter a room I'm standing on a ledge, high in the clouds. There a towers made of shotgun shells. The shells are pastel blue and red, gold and white strips at a diagonal separate the colors. The towers stretch into infinity it seems and the are breathtaking. I begin to wish I could tell someone what I was seeing so they could paint it for me. I start to think I would have to be able to come back to this dream in order to properly explain the place to someone in my waking life, as my memory would end up explaining some pale comparison of these wonderful towers. I have unconsiously made the connection I'm dreaming, but still not actively aware or lucid. This confuses me so I look closer at the towers and notice I'm in a hallway and the towers are books. I don't recognize any of the titles or the room I'm in, which in my mind is still the house I work in, and it dawns on me... ...I'm dreaming! I now know why I've been so confused, and begin laughing hysterically at how well my mind tricked me away from lucidity so successfully. I also notice the sun is going down, closing the end of my second day dreaming. I use the computer at my dream job a bit and talk with a few dream employees before sitting down to watch some TV. I feel very strong in the dream so I'm just letting things go a bit. I sleep in my dream and awake to go for a bike ride with friends and eat lunch. I'm jumping my Tallbike all over the place and my friends are amazed at my skills. I go back to work and sit down to watch TV when I realize how boring this LD is. I think to myself, I'm sleeping on the couch with the TV on in thew background and dreaming lucidly of sitting on the couch watching TV. That is a collosal waste of an LD. I ignore the other people in the room and decide I'm going to fly. I jump up to take off Goku style and remember that usually I have to just jump and get floating first. I am immediately successful and fly up through the roof and into a building next to me. It is a huge office building with glass dividers between everything and white tile floor. I fly around a bit and get bored with aimlessly flying, so I go back to my "work house" I try to think of what I want to do next and remember I've been trying to skydive off a skyscraper for the Monthly advanced task on the forum and fly back up through the roof. This time it feels like my flight battery is low because I'm getting stuck in the roof and having to climb my way up and out of the structure. I experience the same thing at the corporate building. The tiles are breaking into large white scrabble tiles and I have to swim through them and finally I end up on the roof. I think about how many of the people describe jumping off of a building and falling, but no one has actually "skydived" off of a building. I decide I'm going to do a proper base jump, but first I needed a cheering section. I begin to conjure the sounds of people on the street. Weakly I hear 4 or five people cheering "one hundred" disjointedly. I think down to the ant sized people below that they need to cheer my name and within a few moments there is a tremendous group of civilians cheering 'Bri-AN, Bri-An Bri-AN'! I look down and realize it's far and scary. I check for a parachute to find there is none. I think real hard about it and check again. Still no parachute. I look down and think, I'm not going to have the courage to jump. I know I'm only dreaming, but it is still hard to actually throw myself off of a skyscraper. I decide to steel myself to the task, and figure my parachute IS there, it's just an invisible dream parachute. With that I jump. Hurtling downward and like a heavy leaf, swaying back and forth in the wind I fall and fall. My arms and legs spread out to stabilize my body in the wind. I reach my right hand to touch the top of my head and put my left hand near the small of my back to check my stability before I pull off, which is proper technique for ensuring you are stable enough to deploy your 'chute. I pull the cord on my left with my right hand inches from the ground and immediately go shooting back up into the sky. I pulled to low to float down slowly and my invisible 'chute is fast and responsive. I stall the 'chute just before hitting the ground a second time and roll as I hit to ensure I don't hurt myself. I'm ecstatic. As I gather my invisible 'chute, which is now very real, the same colors as the shotgun towers, I see my friends all waiting to congratulate me. The sun had come up on my 4th day in dream as I was skydiving. I open my eyes on the couch and say out loud, 'I DID IT' before closing my eyes again. I open my eyes on the couch at the work house and think, 'Man, I'm still lucid! what should I do now?' There is a knock at the door; "U.S. Census, anybody home?" Time to wake up.
I guess a fitting place to start would be the time I mastered flying. I was working two jobs on opposite ends of town and had just enough time for a 10 minute nap if I caught all of the lights. I looked at the clock and then proceeded to lay on my back and close my eyes. I felt as if I was looking through my eyelids at the ceiling, which is typical for me in the beginning of a wild dream. I thought 'there is no way I'm already dreaming' and began to float up into the air. My perspective didn't change, only the feeling of laying on the bed was replaced with a feeling of awkwardly floating some 3 feet above while still looking out through closed eyes. I decided to continue floating and my perspective cut to me standing in a strange kitchen. I felt normal, but was very small. There was now no question in my mind I was dreaming. Excited, I decided to move about the room and play with changing my size. As I changed my size, aspects of the room and the physics involved in movement did also. I ran and leaped, gliding quickly across the room, almost hitting a table fairly hard. (it is worth noting that up until this point, I was an atrocious flyer in my dreams, and trying almost certainly caused me to smash into things or lose lucidity) I continued to practice my takeoffs and landings for awhile, and when I mastered this I began to hover just inches from the ground. I began spinning and decided to continue spinning faster and faster. Faster and faster I spun until I shot up and out into space, traveling at what I can only assume was the speed of light, as my being had become as a single point. I shot across limitless spans of time and space in what was akin to being the universe's smallest, fastest comet until I just stopped in a beautiful nebula. I was warm, slowly floating in place. I felt safe and at peace. I thought 'this is what it must feel like in the womb' and as I did the space dimmed out and I was laying on my back looking out through my eyelids at the ceiling. I opened my eyes and was awake. I looked at the clock; a single minute had passed.
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