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    1. Freaky subway nightmare | [11.05.2021]

      by , Today at 02:58 AM (Draeger's Dream Journal and Documentation)
      Freaky subway nightmare
      I remember that the situation is like playing a video game again, although this time I feel like I am forced to play, despite my fear of seeing some gruesome image within it. Then I am in the game, physically, and it's regarded as real. There's something about being underground. There's something I don't remember, then I am in a sort of train with people, and I sort of have to save us by getting weird rubbery things on circular parts on a metal box that seems to be central to the function of the train. I notice nobody else is doing anything and that if we don't manage to do this, we will crash with full force into a sort of other chambers, which we are sort of falling into from the top, and to brake we have to get the rubber things on there. I also appear to be some female character relevant to the story, and she might have a name starting with A. I see that nobody else is trying to save us, so I animate them to help. But then, I struggle to do it, so we soon crash. But then suddenly, there's like a second try, so this time, the same things happen, except that this time, I manage to get most of the rubber things on. I think we will die again, but this time, the train brakes and stops in the chamber with no one hurt.



      This might not seem freaky, but there's some sort of deep fear associated with this gruesome image. There were some past dreams that were so horrible that I've supressed them, with a much stronger version of this fear associated with it that are still horrible to think about today. Not sure where this fear comes from, but I probably don't want to know, to be honest.
    2. 13 April - On my way to the Dreamviews party

      by , Yesterday at 11:31 PM
      comment non-lucid lucid

      12th April was the international lucid dreaming day. There was an idea to celebrate this by lucid dreaming about being at a party with other DV members. I normally don’t do tasks and challenges (too early for me) but I decided to try this time.
      1st attempt - night from 11th to 12th April - VILD - failed. This is the day after (2nd attempt).

      Awakening 11:02, I decide to simply set the intention for “I see something = dream”

      3 irrelevant non-lucid dreams (shortened)
      Investing lecture - I am attending a lecture or a conference talk about investing.
      School and singing - I am in school and a classmate is singing beautifully.
      Hanging G - A friend (G) hangs himself but is still alive. I am not sure if I should help him or not.

      On the way to the party
      I am standing on a footpath or a local lane. I realize I see something and that means I am dreaming. I remember my plan to find a door, go to Prague and go to a pub there to attend the DV party (I decided to put it in Prague - I haven’t been there for a long time and it would be a good place for a party).
      But there are no significant buildings around! There is one old cottage without doors and a rusty metal shed or a garage. I am thinking what to do if the door is locked and I decide it shouldn’t matter for teleporting. As I approach the shed, I see the door is very rusty and very small and I decide not to use it and find something better.
      I follow the path, it gets grassy but there are no houses now. I can see a forest in the distance.
      I walk very quickly, the scenery around me changes unrealistically quickly but I feel like walking normally. No houses and no DCs. It gets slightly blurry and I check my pockets and find some paper tissues there but I realize it is my black jacket and I am actually wearing it IRL, which means it isn’t a part of the dream and I can’t use it to stabilize. I touch the ground instead, I can feel the gravel of the path and it helps immediately. The dream is very vivid now.
      I continue and there is a tree. I remember reading about someone who created a wolf in a LD, thinking “there is a wolf behind the tree”. I try to think it but as I come closer, I realize that the tree is too small to hide a wolf. There is a small boy and a weasel and the weasel is defensively aggressive, hissing at the boy.
      The path becomes a gravel road and I suddenly notice I walk barefoot and can feel every step. It is almost painful.
      Then it is a footpath again, grassy and comfortable to walk on. Bog grass (common rush) grows next to the path and I touch it with my hands, it feels very realistic and I take a stem with the brown flower with me, to use it for stabilizing later, if needed.
      Then the path follows an edge of a hill with steeps cliffs. I can see glimpses of a city down in the valley. I go closer to the edge and the view opens in front of me. The city is very beautiful with some small houses, medium houses and tall skyscrapers reflecting light. It feels a little bit like Prague but it isn’t Prague, it’s too modern for that.
      There is a concrete slab right at the edge above the cliffs, it’s almost like a springboard or a platform for jumping down. The view is even better from there.
      I decide to stop trying to find doors and fly instead. There are some trees but the slab looks perfect for jumping from it and flying towards the city.
      I want to run get speed for the jump, so I walk a couple of meters from the edge and I make sure it is a dream. I start to run but I remember that I still have the jacket (unzipped) and that would be bad for flying, so I stop and zip it up. I put something in my pocket, in case I need to stabilize the dream while flying.
      Suddenly, there is R, telling me something. I don’t listen and try to run again but I am too far from the edge and don’t see the platform well, so I go closer. R looks very confused, so I tell him that this is a dream and I am going to jump. He seems to understand.
      I take a deep breath to run.


      And I suddenly wake up without warning, no fading, no blurriness, no feeling of resurfacing. I think I snored IRL or tried to clear my nose and it jolted me awake. DEILD failed.
      Time 12:04

      “This is a dream”
      I am on a street with R and some friend. I realize that I see something and that it is a dream. There are many houses and many doors around! And I am lucid for the second time this night, yay! I feel very confident, time to go to Prague.
      I tell my companions to go ahead, I will catch up with them later. They stay, look at me and don’t understand. I say to myself fuck this shit and confidently tell them “this is a dream”
      (as you don’t exist, stop bothering me) hoping to get rid of them.
      The dream suddenly fades to black. I touch the ground and can feel some stones but everything is still black and fading. I am confused because this always works. It feels like the dream is laughing at me.

      I wake up but I don’t open my eyes. I lost my lucidity here but I think it was a false awakening, not a real one. I don’t know how long it was to the next dream, I think there was a period of NREM sleep.

      Mouse FA (not sure if this dream was before the LD or after, probably after)
      I am in a bed in some flat, there is a narrow kitchen and balcony. There is some kind of mouse that gets under my blanket and cuddles with me as my cat does. It’s my pet and I am surprised it was free to round around the flat when I was sleeping, it could have hurt itself in the kitchen or fallen from the balcony.

      Cathedral FA
      I wake up in a bed in some hotel room. I remember the LD and trying to DEILD. I think I even tried to DEILD in this dream to get back to the LD.
      There are friends and one of them, T, tells me that they are going to have coffee if I want to go with them. I talk with R and I need to brush my teeth, so I tell T that I need 5 minutes and he says that 5 minutes is ok.
      We have the coffee one floor down from our room. It is much nicer room.
      We go back to our room and it looks different now, the bed is bigger. I think I like it more than the room under us. T says it is the high ceiling, making it more airy.
      Then I enter a corridor, leading from our room. I see some stained glass windows and as I continue, I can see I am in a beautiful cathedral. There are stairs leading down to the floor of the cathedral (I am standing at the top of the stairs), the stained glass windows are a mix of very modern and traditional images and it’s huge with huge cupola above my head. There is a small chapel in the middle with a column raising from its roof, supporting the roof/dome. The column is thick, possibly having stairs inside.
      I realize our hotel is a part of some historic building. Someone calls me from our room, telling me that I am in the paid section. I say that I am just looking. We have to find time, buy tickets and visit the cathedral later.
      Someone says that the map is lost and if I know something about it. I say that I don’t because in my lucid dreams, all things are created by the dream, so I wouldn’t need to take the map with me to my recent LD.
      Then I go back to our room, having some trouble to climb the stairs, someone offers me a hand.


      I woke up soon after this dream.

      Updated Today at 01:59 AM by 98406

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid
    3. Shit week

      by , Yesterday at 05:52 AM (MoSh's DJ: The Best Dream Journal in The Universe.)
      I only remember one dream. It was about Jamie. She was walking beside me but also at a distance. She seemed unhappy about something and had shorter than usual hair..
      Tags: jamie
      Categories
      non-lucid , side notes
    4. cclxv.

      by , 05-09-2021 at 09:33 PM
      8th May 2021

      Fragment:

      Mom, new medications, a swap or trade for her? (not sure what I meant by this and recall is too gone)

      Fragment:

      Watching HW play an undead rogue wearing a T2 helm, he's sort of streaming PvP activity where he's killing other horde players but also alliance, not focusing on any particular group more than another. He is in a full party with some friends who are helping him with the PvP?

      (gap)

      HW is visiting me, at a mix of my current and old home. I'm with him in the kitchen, downstairs. There's a moment of intense laughter when I or he make a joke, sort of together, but I forget what it was about. We're about to head upstairs and I go into the pantry (what pantry, which home?) and grab the only two beers there, as well as an orange juice drink in a similar but clear glass bottle. I ask HW what he wants but he doesn't seem to hear me. I ask him again once we are upstairs, also asking H if he wants one of these things too. I have some feeling of concern about who will pick what?

      9th May 2021

      Fragment:

      Planet-landing, some colony and I'm? using a tank to take over the colony. Something about it being a job in planning by others for three years. I prove them wrong by myself by assaulting a base and then I eventually get some reinforcements to assist me. Then in a cave, the dream changes and becomes about wrestling or some form of free fighting. I remember breaking things up, made of wood.

      Dream:

      I'm in a place like L with H, walking across a busy street. It's sunny and looks pretty much as I might expected, considerably busy too. I see MB walking ahead in front of us at one point as we walk to wherever we're going but H doesn't notice or care. I feel annoyed and think to myself "yeah, you walk away you bastard" as I watch him go up another street on an incline, beside some kind of train or transit station.

      We eventually go up the same street too and H says he's going to call someone (one of our parents) but he notices the phone number is totally wrong for the contact, deciding to ring anyway and finding out who it might be. The other person answers and is equally curious and confused but they are nearby so we backtrack a little to a bit with a cafe. We approach and H talks to this person he had been on the phone with. I don't realise it in the dream but any awareness of them drops off as I focus on my aunt B who is sat at the next table over, facing an unknown dream character who is her friend.

      For some reason, as we get talking, this unknown character is showing me the inside of her mouth, which impossibly looks bigger on the inside than on the outside. Under her tongue, there is a pepperoni pizza pattern thing going on, but it's some kind of fungal structure that is an uncontrolled infection. I remember being told about this but in no detail.



      Notes:

      - The last dream with MB was about four months ago.

      - The dream recall for all of these is poor because while I did make initial notes, they were extremely brief and I had planned on getting around to typing them up sooner, whilst recall was still fresh, but the days didn't allow for it.

      - For some time now I have been feeling like there's something wrong internally, on a physical level. I worry on some level that part of recent dream symbolisms are related to this but I have no real basis for this other than some recent aches that haven't subsided. Recently I have been getting random intrusive thoughts about cancer, possibly since that's essentially what AH passed away from.

      - I had some more notes I wanted to put down but I'm currently distracted and have a headache, so I'm being unable to focus.
    5. Clown attack. Airship

      by , 05-07-2021 at 03:39 PM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      I become semi lucid and fly from home. As I fly past the windows I imagine how a person might grab me as it had happened before at that location in a dream. As I reach the next street I do something mean against a clown. The clown brings backup and I am pinned to the ground. I try to wake up by logging out like in a VR-game but the clowns suddenly become friendly and let me go.

      I'm at an airship with Dennis. He is very prominent and talks a lot. There are some emotions in the dream and I have a lot of respect for him in the dream.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    6. Skiing, massage, sister's friend.

      by , 05-06-2021 at 01:09 PM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      I'm on a snowy mountain with Isak. We are skiing and I do a 360 down a steep slope that seemed dangerous at first. I overdo the 360 and land on the side and lose my balance and have to stop.

      I'm by a house and there is a jacuzzi with some naked people walking into it. I am doing massage on their shoulders.

      Notes: I'm getting massage this week.

      I'm home and looking into the storehouse upstairs. My sister's room is there and she is hanging out with Helena and they talk by the bed.

      Something about a big list with different things I have to do.

      Notes: I have pretty much school right now.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    7. cclxiv. Da Vinci's x-ray crystal, Helping mom by cleaning some dusty ruins

      by , 05-05-2021 at 09:22 PM
      5th May 2021 ~9:20

      Fragment:

      A(D) messages me on Steam. Something about his birthday? Think he feels lonely but he doesn't mention it.

      Dream:

      Some dream where I'm walking with H along a pavement, along a road in a forested area with the occasional field. Reminds me of areas in my native country. It's daytime, afternoon?

      At some point, we are at some escalators in an entrance for a massive building complex, maybe like a mall. H is no longer H. Instead, it's some unknown dream character following me for some reason; he wants to know where Da Vinci's lock box (safety deposit?) is kept, I think. I tell him "It's probably in one of the 800 ones".

      I know where they are and lead him there. We go up a lot of escalators and a few wide stone staircases with shallow steps. Eventually we reach a more open (and outdoor hybrid) area where there are walls with rows and rows of locked panels, the locked boxes we are looking for. There are many people around. Da Vinci's box is one of these just around a corner. Then L arrives, he cautiously walks over to us over a gap or hole in the upper end of the main staircase leading up here.

      In the dream, I know that L happens to be one of Da Vinci's direct descendants. Later in the dream I question myself about this logic, shouldn't I be too, if we are siblings?

      Either way, he has a key for the locked panels and opens one, giving me something from inside. A crystal. It is elongated, about one foot long at a guess, it is a perfect rectangular cuboid with slightly worked edges/corners, it is a translucent purple at the "top" and a pure white translucent quartz at the other end.

      It is a unique object that requires no power and allows one to simply look through it to see others and things through walls with a weak kind of x-ray vision. Later H, mom's sister appears, and she tries to steal the crystal which I had placed in an envelope. I confront her about it and she or both of us get defensive?

      (there was more recall but I was too tired)

      ~11:55

      Dream:

      There were many other dream sequences but this dream was about helping mom. She was still a teacher in the dream and she was saying that her area was not doing as well as everywhere else in the country, in terms of grades and so on, and I try to reassure her by saying that "kids are and will be different" in different areas, so of course there would be a gap, I reason.

      I help somehow, by cleaning up some dusty old church entrance arch area? It has faded greens and reds that brighten up a little once I clean the dust with a microfibre cloth I'm using. I believe the arch is all made of wood, which is painted these colours. I don't see a door to speak of, but the structure is ruined. Its pieces seem to have never been disturbed since it became ruined.

      I ask mom about the church, she tells me that it's been this way since the last great earthquake. I think that it would have been undisturbed for a very long time, in that case? It's generally sunny in this area, some kind of square at high point of this old style settlement but I am under the shade of the ruins being under the arch.

      Later, I'm not at that place anymore and am discussing something else on the phone with mom, but I cannot recall what anymore.



      Notes:

      - I'm quite tired today but still want to try making some observations for these dreams.

      - Red and green are colours both with personal and non-personal meanings to me. On the personal side, they show the exclusion of blue, a colour that oddly enough has featured on its own in other dreams recently. But neither green nor blue are favourite colours of mine, although it depends on the specific tone too.
      -- On the non-personal side, the colours tie in with the locality and ruins in terms of identity, especially because of the mention of the earthquake. Though perhaps an irrational fear, I have all my life been concerned that another event of that scale may occur some day during my lifetime, which would likely affect mom and dad.

      - The thoughts that L would be Da Vinci's descendant really made no sense and the moment of questioning all of that was a kind of pre-lucid moment.

      - The crystal was not supposed to be magical, but technological in nature. It was a very interesting thing to use although I think some part of me had unvoiced radiation concerns in the dream.

      - On falling asleep again after the first set of dreams, I hoped I would return to something and tried setting an intention but I fell asleep faster than I could have realised and realised later I hadn't finished setting my intents and so on.

      - Both of these dreams and other recent dreams have been especially reminiscent of my native country in their stylistic/aesthetic essence. I should try to make time to explore meanings in regards to this a bit, as I feel it could be helpful with how I've been feeling recently; I have felt particularly nostalgic lately but not of life there specifically, just in general of childhood and some other times.

      - The fragment probably relates to the fact that a few people I know are having birthdays around this time of the year, but more specifically I used to know A's birthday date but it seems I don't anymore.
    8. cclxiii. Lodged bullet, Upheaval

      by , 05-05-2021 at 08:53 PM
      2nd May 2021

      Fragment:

      Initially something about Terraria. I'm on some kind of mini MMO server. It's 2D at first as it should be, but then starts to become 2.5D and eventually blends into normal reality as I exit some caves I'd been mining in. There was a lot of ore in the caves, but mostly copper and iron.

      I exit the cave to an exterior location. It's sunny but I'm under the shade of a metal canopy of some kind. I have guns like in UT or something. There are some flying enemies nearby, to my right, and I think about shooting them with a beam weapon but I don't for some reason. They have wings? Are they eyes, maybe? Some kind of stereotype fantasy creature, at any rate.

      Then I climb or jump down further ahead, where there's a lower roof, using it as a midway point to the ground. There's a human but he's some kind of boss? I'm talking with H at the same time, discussing what's happening I think. Some recall is missing but I eventually change to a traditional sniper rifle and fire at point blank range against the man's neck. I can imagine the bullet and it goes through the front of the neck but leaves no visible wound or blood and it gets lodged under the cranium at the back, on the right side.

      But then the person becomes H and I turn the head to inspect and there's the lump of the bullet about where I thought it would be. I tell H it's fine, we'll get someone to remove it.



      4th May 2021

      Fragment:

      Something about schools part of a network/group called "plus (something)"? I'm in a town but unsure where. Reminds me of my native country and there's these small and perfectly laid out buildings, which are taking over everywhere as if they are invading and replacing other things. The buildings are alien in origin or something, the dream implies, but they look like regular buildings in a modern style, though having something to do with this group of schools or something.

      There's some kind of instancing effect going on and things phase in and out of reality depending on where I stand exactly; in the phase space there are only two specific things to eat for some reason and this becomes a way for me to identify that I'm in this phased space. I think something about the colour of the atmosphere changes too but recall is somewhat muddled and partly gone and some bits of this feel as if they were from an earlier awakening.

      Some recall is missing but later on, there's some bit in a kitchen underground in a bunker of some kind and this is like the headquarters of whatever is going on. In this kitchen, there are two women, they are busy cooking and concocting things? I think they have aprons on but I don't recall any other details other than that maybe one had her hair tied up. They are the masterminds, it's implied somehow. They don't seem to care about my presence. The door to the kitchen is locked with some type of electronically controlled lock and some people want to get in here because a meteor is crashing soon and this is the safest place, even within the entirety of this bunker. There's a large window into the next room and there are random groupings of people through there. I remember interacting and talking with the two women but I'm not sure what any of us said.

      Then the meteor hits and some people outside the room get scared but nothing much happens other than some prolonged shaking.

      (recall gap)

      Outside with someone, implied to be after the meteor hit on the surface. I was here before at some point in the dream but it wasn't like this, everything looks kind of orange and wrecked now, debris and general mess everywhere. There are dead headcrabs? The person I'm with is cooking and eating them.

      (gap)

      Some other bit where I see a city like London (which layout I know vaguely) in some kind of overview and it's broken up by ravines and mountains. Someone wants a new map made to reflect all this or something and I or another dream character draw it on some kind of black sandy stuff with a stick or rod? The lines are a dark blood red.
    9. cclxii. Windshield view, Chocolate factory theme park

      by , 05-05-2021 at 02:16 AM
      30th April 2021

      Fragment:

      Seeing from outside the windshield (in front) of a jeep that dad and L are in. Dad is driving? There's a kid at the middle of the back seats. In the dream, something suggests this to be cousin R, I think through an old style printed square photograph.

      (in terms of view, perspective, stabilisation etc... this dream was like that bit from "what is love?")



      1st May 2021

      Fragment:

      Visiting a chocolate factory. Implied to belong to the person who I learned a bit about just the night before, when I was reading up about some chocolate I was having. I see the old man that I saw featured the previous night and his clothing is more casual and I think about how I expected a labcoat like in the featured image, but I do not do a RC or think further about it, perhaps because I'm continuing to walk through this open space which is part of the entrance to the factory?

      It's more like a theme park really, I'm there with two friends, I know one is JoCo but not sure about the other.

      (this dream was quite long but I got distracted I think)
    10. cclxi. PCB work, Library, Blueberry tart

      by , 05-05-2021 at 02:08 AM
      28th April 2021

      Fragment:

      Spoiler for short explicit fragment:


      Fragment:

      Repairing a circuit board but the solder is a vivid cobalt blue and the soldering iron is magnetic which annoys me because it frequently moves away against my will. I don't do too well anyway. I have to go across some traces but I'm not sure which ones and find myself wanting an original board for a side-by-side comparison so I can know what I'm doing.

      Fragment:

      AH is alive. We're in a library? It's dark and there are some computers too, I think. The shelves and furniture are all dark wood stain.

      AH looks much younger, younger than me, even.

      Fragment:

      Blueberry tart thing which some guy makes over at a cafe in L. This guy is a young chef, pretty stereotypical look for a white male of his age of that area. H is with me at some point, I think I become excited about the food?



      Notes:

      - I have recently seen AH's profile be online, this has confused me and I haven't attempted to communicate with whoever is using it. I have some sort of apprehension about it because I'm afraid of it actually being AH, which I know would lead to me ultimately feeling betrayed and deceived, again.

      - In the first fragment, my first thought after recalling was that the three fluids in question are inseparable parts of what it means to be a living being of our complexity.
      -- The requirement of satisfying basic needs is something that has always both bothered me and intrigued me in some sense. I have often wished that these mortal aspects did not have to be a part of our existence as conscious beings, but part of me also knows that a lot of meaning is/can be derived from the needs of survival.

      - Come to think of it, it's curious the blueberry tart involves blue and the solder was a essentially a vivid blue, too. I am not sure right now of what significance it has at the moment.
    11. cclx. To the three distant stars, Drawings on the bed, Hail

      by , 05-05-2021 at 01:56 AM
      27th April 2021

      Fragment:

      Something about flying through space. There's something like DSP to this dream. I am checking out a planet, but as I approach it, I realise with some surprise that it's one of the Deuteria systems I'd already built on (in the dream). I then set course for a greatly distant star system? In the galaxy map, I can see this system has three stars.

      I arrive there pretty quickly despite the distance. The dream is not fully like DSP and the three stars are in odd placements around the system, sort of hiding within tight clusters of planets. There's an interesting play of light and ambience as a result.

      Fragment:

      I'm in the context of old home but the dream location details are vague now. I remember being in something like my room(?) but the house layout feels different and on a bed or a table there's a number of my drawings. Some are explicit but I don't try to tidy it up. Something about being called through to another room, by dad?

      In the dream, there's an implied sense that my parents know about the type of things I draw sometimes. I feel some discomfort about it but in the dream it's more like the general discomfort or embarrassment from parents trying to be a part of things you don't necessarily want them to be a part of.

      Something about going to meet up with L?

      (I left recall too long and allowed myself to be distracted)

      Fragment:

      In the van/car and it's overcast; hail is falling.



      Notes:

      - Some days later, there was hail, but I don't remember looking at the forecasts.

      - L is the only person in the family who knows that I draw explicit artwork now and then.
      -- Part of that dream certainly relates to my feeling of isolation from being unable to discuss the subject very openly with most people.

      Updated 05-05-2021 at 02:09 AM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    12. Another Harry Potter-related dream | [04.05.2021]

      by , 05-05-2021 at 01:40 AM (Draeger's Dream Journal and Documentation)
      Another Harry Potter-related dream
      There's something related to dumbledore. He might have warned me of something. The dream is set in a sort of town-ish location. It's rather rural, with only a few small densely populated areas and lots of hills so big that they're borderline mountains. I recall this having been the location from another dream from a long time ago. I seem to go from hill to hill for no particular reason. There is something rather concerning and sinister going on in the background, and it invokes a feeling of dread within me. Somebody else warns me again, and I think it has to do with the fact that I am quite visible on top of those hills. At some point, there might be something that really does suggest I should have heeded that warning, but I don't remember. Sometimes the dream also seemed to be a video game, but that wasn't consistent.



      I guess constantly watching Harry Potter nearly every day has infested my dreams. But I guess I should try to use that as a dream sign, since it's been in nearly every dream for the whole week now.
    13. Japanese learning fragment | [02.05.2021]

      by , 05-02-2021 at 02:09 PM (Draeger's Dream Journal and Documentation)
      Japanese learning fragment
      There was something about apparently being close to done with learning Japanese at home. I also had to use the bathroom, but, for some reason, my mother was in home office there. My home was also quite distorted, in a way. It seemed much larger, and different, also in comparison to the start of the dream to the end of the dream.
    14. Red Red Wine

      by , 05-02-2021 at 08:38 AM
      Morning of May 2, 2021. Sunday.

      Dream #: 19,858-02. 3 min 40 sec read.



      This dream begins with the same premise as a March 4, 2021 dream, though with different details and an unrelated outcome. In the previous dreaming experience, my mother gave me two American fifty-dollar bills and her bankbook. In this dream, she gives me one fifty-dollar note. I consider asking her for an additional ten dollars (imagining it as an American ten-dollar bill), but I do not. In both instances, I want the cash to pay some of what I owe my landlady. I had considered getting the additional ten dollars in this dream for food.

      Neither dream self version has any level of waking-life identity or recall, including any memory that my mother and landlady had died or that I have lived in Australia since 1994. Because I am sixty years old in real life, the supraliminal association with wanting sixty dollars may be the correlation in this case even though my dream self is only about twenty-five years old here. (I had established that because paper money is associated with being carried in a wallet that contains an identification card, it is a potential indicator of my imaginary dream self seeking my real-life identity to resolve the duality of the dream state. It is different with coins that I mainly summon to increase somatosensory awareness.)

      I teleport to the King Street mansion (boarding house) to give my landlady the fifty-dollar note. My metacognitive vestibular phasing response predictably corresponds with my dream's ongoing narrative. The staircase does not reach the second floor. Even so, I can maneuver to the door of my apartment that in this dream is the northeast corner room. An unknown male is living in the adjacent room.

      My dream, for a short time, becomes a typical haunting scenario. I summon an unseen ghost to move objects around for amusement. There are three responses with furniture moving on its own as my landlady watches. (Ghosts most often represent my metacognitive state, where my conscious self is incomplete and "haunts" the dream state, the fundamental reason why I summon hauntings other than for entertainment.)

      Eventually, I realize I need to get to my technical institute class. However, I do not have a good pair of pants. The blue jeans I am wearing now have large mustard stains on each leg. I try to come up with a way to wear my pants without the legs being visible, warping my physicality as a result. I float around above the missing part of the staircase, using my belt in different ways, and having my pants only come up to my knees. I then recall I may have clothes at my brother's house.

      I teleport to where Dennis (half-brother on my mother's side) lives. (The bedroom does not resemble anywhere either he or I ever lived in real life.) Another male, unknown, is present (though he vaguely reminds me of a man who lived in the King Street house for a time). I see about four pairs of my blue jeans, one on the bed and the others on the floor. I wonder if Dennis minds if I had left them here. He seems cheerful.

      As I try to put my pants on, I repeatedly cheerfully sing, "Red red wine goes to my head, red red wine goes to my head." I sway about in amusement. The other male, sitting on the left side of the bed, starts to sing a different line, but Dennis puts his finger to his lips to shush him. I soon wake.



      At least one dream from each sleep cycle for over 50 years has included my metacognitive concurrence with being asleep in a literal response (though my dreams are not symbolic in a conventional sense anyway). In this instance, it also has the anticipation of waking and putting on my blue jeans. The difference is that, in real life, my jeans were near the foot of our bed on the floor. In my dream, there were some on the right side of the bed on the floor. (As I have pointed out in thousands of previous entries, dreaming features are like this to avoid associations with waking life, the opposite of the majority of people, including "dream eperts," who are not metacognitive dreamers and consequently cannot ever understand why dreaming narratives are as they are.)

      The wakefulness simulacrum is sitting on the left side of the bed, and in reality, I sleep on the left side (though this is more about the metacognitive catalyst of the dream state above typical errors). Even so, Dennis shushes him as one does when someone is sleeping in the same room. This event has occurred in many past dreams since childhood with different narratives.

      So why "Red Red Wine?" There are several reasons, the first being the association with how dreams lack cognizance (and absence of intellect) and mind-body connectivity (REM atonia) as when drunk. The line "goes to my head" is a reference to dreaming. There is also a subliminal reference to the unsung line "Makes me forget that I still need her so" (the virtual amnesia of dreaming and how my waking-life identity is otherwise absent in this dream). Red is also a reference to the predominant waking-alert factor as well as blood. Additionally, Zsuzsanna had been focusing on a post on Facebook without me knowing. It was about wine (in a thread of enigmatic space that most people deny, yet is how I dreamt of Zsuzsanna long before we met in the first place).


    15. Another Harry Potter-ish fragment | [01.05.2021]

      by , 05-01-2021 at 05:14 PM (Draeger's Dream Journal and Documentation)
      Harry Potter fragment
      I just cast some sort of spell. At some point I also saved somebody, it appears. At some point, I violently crush some enemy of mine with powers, although this seems more related to some sort of random video game mechanic instead of magic.
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