Recent DJ Posts

8th May 2021

Fragment:

Mom, new medications, a swap or trade for her? (not sure what I meant by this and recall is too gone)

Fragment:

Watching HW play an undead rogue wearing a T2 helm, he's sort of streaming PvP activity where he's killing other horde players but also alliance, not focusing on any particular group more than another. He is in a full party with some friends who are helping him with the PvP?

(gap)

HW is visiting me, at a mix of my current and old home. I'm with him in the kitchen, downstairs. There's a moment of intense laughter when I or he make a joke, sort of together, but I forget what it was about. We're about to head upstairs and I go into the pantry (what pantry, which home?) and grab the only two beers there, as well as an orange juice drink in a similar but clear glass bottle. I ask HW what he wants but he doesn't seem to hear me. I ask him again once we are upstairs, also asking H if he wants one of these things too. I have some feeling of concern about who will pick what?

9th May 2021

Fragment:

Planet-landing, some colony and I'm? using a tank to take over the colony. Something about it being a job in planning by others for three years. I prove them wrong by myself by assaulting a base and then I eventually get some reinforcements to assist me. Then in a cave, the dream changes and becomes about wrestling or some form of free fighting. I remember breaking things up, made of wood.

Dream:

I'm in a place like L with H, walking across a busy street. It's sunny and looks pretty much as I might expected, considerably busy too. I see MB walking ahead in front of us at one point as we walk to wherever we're going but H doesn't notice or care. I feel annoyed and think to myself "yeah, you walk away you bastard" as I watch him go up another street on an incline, beside some kind of train or transit station.

We eventually go up the same street too and H says he's going to call someone (one of our parents) but he notices the phone number is totally wrong for the contact, deciding to ring anyway and finding out who it might be. The other person answers and is equally curious and confused but they are nearby so we backtrack a little to a bit with a cafe. We approach and H talks to this person he had been on the phone with. I don't realise it in the dream but any awareness of them drops off as I focus on my aunt B who is sat at the next table over, facing an unknown dream character who is her friend.

For some reason, as we get talking, this unknown character is showing me the inside of her mouth, which impossibly looks bigger on the inside than on the outside. Under her tongue, there is a pepperoni pizza pattern thing going on, but it's some kind of fungal structure that is an uncontrolled infection. I remember being told about this but in no detail.

---

Notes:

- The last dream with MB was about four months ago.

- The dream recall for all of these is poor because while I did make initial notes, they were extremely brief and I had planned on getting around to typing them up sooner, whilst recall was still fresh, but the days didn't allow for it.

- For some time now I have been feeling like there's something wrong internally, on a physical level. I worry on some level that part of recent dream symbolisms are related to this but I have no real basis for this other than some recent aches that haven't subsided. Recently I have been getting random intrusive thoughts about cancer, possibly since that's essentially what AH passed away from.

- I had some more notes I wanted to put down but I'm currently distracted and have a headache, so I'm being unable to focus.

5th May 2021 ~9:20

Fragment:

A(D) messages me on Steam. Something about his birthday? Think he feels lonely but he doesn't mention it.

Dream:

Some dream where I'm walking with H along a pavement, along a road in a forested area with the occasional field. Reminds me of areas in my native country. It's daytime, afternoon?

At some point, we are at some escalators in an entrance for a massive building complex, maybe like a mall. H is no longer H. Instead, it's some unknown dream character following me for some reason; he wants to know where Da Vinci's lock box (safety deposit?) is kept, I think. I tell him "It's probably in one of the 800 ones".

I know where they are and lead him there. We go up a lot of escalators and a few wide stone staircases with shallow steps. Eventually we reach a more open (and outdoor hybrid) area where there are walls with rows and rows of locked panels, the locked boxes we are looking for. There are many people around. Da Vinci's box is one of these just around a corner. Then L arrives, he cautiously walks over to us over a gap or hole in the upper end of the main staircase leading up here.

In the dream, I know that L happens to be one of Da Vinci's direct descendants. Later in the dream I question myself about this logic, shouldn't I be too, if we are siblings?

Either way, he has a key for the locked panels and opens one, giving me something from inside. A crystal. It is elongated, about one foot long at a guess, it is a perfect rectangular cuboid with slightly worked edges/corners, it is a translucent purple at the "top" and a pure white translucent quartz at the other end.

It is a unique object that requires no power and allows one to simply look through it to see others and things through walls with a weak kind of x-ray vision. Later H, mom's sister appears, and she tries to steal the crystal which I had placed in an envelope. I confront her about it and she or both of us get defensive?

(there was more recall but I was too tired)

~11:55

Dream:

There were many other dream sequences but this dream was about helping mom. She was still a teacher in the dream and she was saying that her area was not doing as well as everywhere else in the country, in terms of grades and so on, and I try to reassure her by saying that "kids are and will be different" in different areas, so of course there would be a gap, I reason.

I help somehow, by cleaning up some dusty old church entrance arch area? It has faded greens and reds that brighten up a little once I clean the dust with a microfibre cloth I'm using. I believe the arch is all made of wood, which is painted these colours. I don't see a door to speak of, but the structure is ruined. Its pieces seem to have never been disturbed since it became ruined.

I ask mom about the church, she tells me that it's been this way since the last great earthquake. I think that it would have been undisturbed for a very long time, in that case? It's generally sunny in this area, some kind of square at high point of this old style settlement but I am under the shade of the ruins being under the arch.

Later, I'm not at that place anymore and am discussing something else on the phone with mom, but I cannot recall what anymore.

---

Notes:

- I'm quite tired today but still want to try making some observations for these dreams.

- Red and green are colours both with personal and non-personal meanings to me. On the personal side, they show the exclusion of blue, a colour that oddly enough has featured on its own in other dreams recently. But neither green nor blue are favourite colours of mine, although it depends on the specific tone too.
-- On the non-personal side, the colours tie in with the locality and ruins in terms of identity, especially because of the mention of the earthquake. Though perhaps an irrational fear, I have all my life been concerned that another event of that scale may occur some day during my lifetime, which would likely affect mom and dad.

- The thoughts that L would be Da Vinci's descendant really made no sense and the moment of questioning all of that was a kind of pre-lucid moment.

- The crystal was not supposed to be magical, but technological in nature. It was a very interesting thing to use although I think some part of me had unvoiced radiation concerns in the dream.

- On falling asleep again after the first set of dreams, I hoped I would return to something and tried setting an intention but I fell asleep faster than I could have realised and realised later I hadn't finished setting my intents and so on.

- Both of these dreams and other recent dreams have been especially reminiscent of my native country in their stylistic/aesthetic essence. I should try to make time to explore meanings in regards to this a bit, as I feel it could be helpful with how I've been feeling recently; I have felt particularly nostalgic lately but not of life there specifically, just in general of childhood and some other times.

- The fragment probably relates to the fact that a few people I know are having birthdays around this time of the year, but more specifically I used to know A's birthday date but it seems I don't anymore.

2nd May 2021

Fragment:

Initially something about Terraria. I'm on some kind of mini MMO server. It's 2D at first as it should be, but then starts to become 2.5D and eventually blends into normal reality as I exit some caves I'd been mining in. There was a lot of ore in the caves, but mostly copper and iron.

I exit the cave to an exterior location. It's sunny but I'm under the shade of a metal canopy of some kind. I have guns like in UT or something. There are some flying enemies nearby, to my right, and I think about shooting them with a beam weapon but I don't for some reason. They have wings? Are they eyes, maybe? Some kind of stereotype fantasy creature, at any rate.

Then I climb or jump down further ahead, where there's a lower roof, using it as a midway point to the ground. There's a human but he's some kind of boss? I'm talking with H at the same time, discussing what's happening I think. Some recall is missing but I eventually change to a traditional sniper rifle and fire at point blank range against the man's neck. I can imagine the bullet and it goes through the front of the neck but leaves no visible wound or blood and it gets lodged under the cranium at the back, on the right side.

But then the person becomes H and I turn the head to inspect and there's the lump of the bullet about where I thought it would be. I tell H it's fine, we'll get someone to remove it.

---

4th May 2021

Fragment:

Something about schools part of a network/group called "plus (something)"? I'm in a town but unsure where. Reminds me of my native country and there's these small and perfectly laid out buildings, which are taking over everywhere as if they are invading and replacing other things. The buildings are alien in origin or something, the dream implies, but they look like regular buildings in a modern style, though having something to do with this group of schools or something.

There's some kind of instancing effect going on and things phase in and out of reality depending on where I stand exactly; in the phase space there are only two specific things to eat for some reason and this becomes a way for me to identify that I'm in this phased space. I think something about the colour of the atmosphere changes too but recall is somewhat muddled and partly gone and some bits of this feel as if they were from an earlier awakening.

Some recall is missing but later on, there's some bit in a kitchen underground in a bunker of some kind and this is like the headquarters of whatever is going on. In this kitchen, there are two women, they are busy cooking and concocting things? I think they have aprons on but I don't recall any other details other than that maybe one had her hair tied up. They are the masterminds, it's implied somehow. They don't seem to care about my presence. The door to the kitchen is locked with some type of electronically controlled lock and some people want to get in here because a meteor is crashing soon and this is the safest place, even within the entirety of this bunker. There's a large window into the next room and there are random groupings of people through there. I remember interacting and talking with the two women but I'm not sure what any of us said.

Then the meteor hits and some people outside the room get scared but nothing much happens other than some prolonged shaking.

(recall gap)

Outside with someone, implied to be after the meteor hit on the surface. I was here before at some point in the dream but it wasn't like this, everything looks kind of orange and wrecked now, debris and general mess everywhere. There are dead headcrabs? The person I'm with is cooking and eating them.

(gap)

Some other bit where I see a city like London (which layout I know vaguely) in some kind of overview and it's broken up by ravines and mountains. Someone wants a new map made to reflect all this or something and I or another dream character draw it on some kind of black sandy stuff with a stick or rod? The lines are a dark blood red.

30th April 2021

Fragment:

Seeing from outside the windshield (in front) of a jeep that dad and L are in. Dad is driving? There's a kid at the middle of the back seats. In the dream, something suggests this to be cousin R, I think through an old style printed square photograph.

(in terms of view, perspective, stabilisation etc... this dream was like that bit from "what is love?")

---

1st May 2021

Fragment:

Visiting a chocolate factory. Implied to belong to the person who I learned a bit about just the night before, when I was reading up about some chocolate I was having. I see the old man that I saw featured the previous night and his clothing is more casual and I think about how I expected a labcoat like in the featured image, but I do not do a RC or think further about it, perhaps because I'm continuing to walk through this open space which is part of the entrance to the factory?

It's more like a theme park really, I'm there with two friends, I know one is JoCo but not sure about the other.

(this dream was quite long but I got distracted I think)

28th April 2021

Fragment:

Spoiler for short explicit fragment:

Something about my genitals? I try to clean up but fluids (semen, blood, urine) are leaking.

Fragment:

Repairing a circuit board but the solder is a vivid cobalt blue and the soldering iron is magnetic which annoys me because it frequently moves away against my will. I don't do too well anyway. I have to go across some traces but I'm not sure which ones and find myself wanting an original board for a side-by-side comparison so I can know what I'm doing.

Fragment:

AH is alive. We're in a library? It's dark and there are some computers too, I think. The shelves and furniture are all dark wood stain.

AH looks much younger, younger than me, even.

Fragment:

Blueberry tart thing which some guy makes over at a cafe in L. This guy is a young chef, pretty stereotypical look for a white male of his age of that area. H is with me at some point, I think I become excited about the food?

---

Notes:

- I have recently seen AH's profile be online, this has confused me and I haven't attempted to communicate with whoever is using it. I have some sort of apprehension about it because I'm afraid of it actually being AH, which I know would lead to me ultimately feeling betrayed and deceived, again.

- In the first fragment, my first thought after recalling was that the three fluids in question are inseparable parts of what it means to be a living being of our complexity.
-- The requirement of satisfying basic needs is something that has always both bothered me and intrigued me in some sense. I have often wished that these mortal aspects did not have to be a part of our existence as conscious beings, but part of me also knows that a lot of meaning is/can be derived from the needs of survival.

- Come to think of it, it's curious the blueberry tart involves blue and the solder was a essentially a vivid blue, too. I am not sure right now of what significance it has at the moment.

27th April 2021

Fragment:

Something about flying through space. There's something like DSP to this dream. I am checking out a planet, but as I approach it, I realise with some surprise that it's one of the Deuteria systems I'd already built on (in the dream). I then set course for a greatly distant star system? In the galaxy map, I can see this system has three stars.

I arrive there pretty quickly despite the distance. The dream is not fully like DSP and the three stars are in odd placements around the system, sort of hiding within tight clusters of planets. There's an interesting play of light and ambience as a result.

Fragment:

I'm in the context of old home but the dream location details are vague now. I remember being in something like my room(?) but the house layout feels different and on a bed or a table there's a number of my drawings. Some are explicit but I don't try to tidy it up. Something about being called through to another room, by dad?

In the dream, there's an implied sense that my parents know about the type of things I draw sometimes. I feel some discomfort about it but in the dream it's more like the general discomfort or embarrassment from parents trying to be a part of things you don't necessarily want them to be a part of.

Something about going to meet up with L?

(I left recall too long and allowed myself to be distracted)

Fragment:

In the van/car and it's overcast; hail is falling.

---

Notes:

- Some days later, there was hail, but I don't remember looking at the forecasts.

- L is the only person in the family who knows that I draw explicit artwork now and then.
-- Part of that dream certainly relates to my feeling of isolation from being unable to discuss the subject very openly with most people.

Japanese learning fragment
There was something about apparently being close to done with learning Japanese at home. I also had to use the bathroom, but, for some reason, my mother was in home office there. My home was also quite distorted, in a way. It seemed much larger, and different, also in comparison to the start of the dream to the end of the dream.

Harry Potter fragment
I just cast some sort of spell. At some point I also saved somebody, it appears. At some point, I violently crush some enemy of mine with powers, although this seems more related to some sort of random video game mechanic instead of magic.

Friend fragment
I am in school. I said something which would upset the mentioned friend in real life, and thus, in a moment of lucidity, I question that, but then I just went on with the dream plot.

Created Tuesday 27 April 2021

Think I'm comfortable sharing this dream from a few days ago.

Scrap Group 1
Vaguely recall being in a vast training facility, complete with living quarters, for work.

Dream 1 - Mystic Scavenger Hunt
The visuals were a bit dim. I was in a small, darkened theater, a raised stage in the center. My brother, Joaquin, was also with me.

On stage was a slender, middle aged Asiatic woman in a purple robe. Golden jewelry clinked between her wrists and neck. More distinctly, she had elf-like ears. Soon, the lone performer begins an act. Stoic in expression, she gracefully, and slowly, spins with hands cupped together. With a flourish, spars flew out from splayed arms. She then points her palm at a brass candelabrum, and it begins to move. At this point, I suspect this was all a wire trick. I also get suspicious of the dream. So, I try moving the object telekinetally myself, but nothing happened.

Anyway, the performer magically retrieves said candelabrum. With a flick of her fingers, she lights it up. Just then, a starry, moonlit night sky appears above us. What's more, the theater's walls give way. Now, we see a series of vast series of excessively steep, grassy hills. Rail-less log bridges, spanning out for up to several miles long, connected each land form. Individual hill had distinct features, whether a series of garden plots, grain fields, an observatory, or other characteristics. It was a sight to behold...

The sorceress turns to the audience. A half a minute of silence follows. Then, she speaks briefly, offering merely that the viewers wander the sites at their own leisure. With that, the crowd go their own way.

I'm one of the last to actually wander out. I try to find Joaquin, but it seems he was way ahead of me. Oh well. I too go off in a random direction.

Eventually, I stumble into a picnic area, its furnishings of carved stone. An entire banquet was prepared here. A number of people were already serving themselves of the items available. From chatter, I overhear that elephant meat was on the menu. Finding that out left me feeling ambivalent (elephant meat is one of the few things I'd refuse to eat from a moral standpoint). In the end, I opted not to sample anything there.

After passing several more bridges, I made it to a hill lined with hedges. People were sifting through the foliage. Among them, I spotted Joaquin. I asked what everyone was doing there. During our exchange, he tells me this was part of a scavenger hunt, a piece if tidbit I (supposedly) missed out on earlier.

So, I join in this hunt. I pull at the roots of some plants, when I find a strange trinket: a spiral band of a kind made of gray earthenware. That, Jonathan tells me, is one of the many like objects we needed to find. He then explains that whomever finds the most wins a grand prize.

Enthusiastic, I continue the search at the other end of the hedge. look the other end of the hedge. There, I find yet another of those trinkets. I then look at another hedge, where I spot a bunch of energy bars, of all things, buried beneath. There were at least 30 pounds of the stuff, and a good variety too. I notified Jonathan, where he told me that there were a lot of consolation prizes scattered about as well.

Although I wanted to keep those bars, there was no way I could carry all of that. So, I muttered to Jonathan that I would go off and find a sack to allow such. To get to that end, I said I'd "cheat" by floating back to the site's entrance.

But before I left, I also noticed a metal rod sticking out from under a hedge. At first, it seemed to be an auto-sprinkler. But, upon handling it, I found that it was a dial. I slowly turned it, when, to my surprise, the moon above was altered. The moon slowly cycled between it's phases, before vanishing entirely. I'd the thought of messing around with it some more, just to play a joke on the sorceress. But, in the end, I just returned the dial back to how it started.

Anyway, I continued my way back out. Turning at a wide chasm, I made a mighty leap, then began gliding all the way across. Sure enough, I made it back to the theater.

Things got unclear from that point. I don't remember how the dream ended.

Unclear fragment
There is something about a certain everyday object.

---

Notes:

Started with a semi-ADA technique again that got me all except two of my lucids in the past, along with the nose plug RC. I should probably also use a mantra. I guess getting lucid isn't really a problem, but I've never managed to get myself lucid enough and the dream stable enough, so I guess I have to improve that. Recall is also being a problem.

24th April 2021

Fragment:

In a train station hub or maybe it's a subway. It's a vast place, made mostly out of concrete as far as I can remember. Either way, it's busy. I remember daylight shining through in places and I am walking in a tunnel of sorts with someone, maybe JoCo.

Fragment:

I'm in the kitchen, looking in the cupboard with the tinned and packaged food, I think? I notice some tortellini packs are missing most of the tortellini and they look vacuum packed. Some have like three or four bits of pasta at most and that's it. I feel annoyed that I somehow missed this detail at the shop and feel it'll be annoying to have to return these. I think to myself something like "they clearly aren't fit for having a full meal like this".

Note:

- Later the same day I think, I was talking to H about the second fragment and it was pointed out to me that the tortellini is always vacuum packed. I had not consciously realised this until that point.

Jamie

Jamie seemed upset about something. that's all I can recall. Miss the longer dreams about her...


Death

A long dream but I only remember sectioned. An old co worker named K and I were in a town that looked like chilliwack. He was coercing me to help him kill people. We had to cut people up into tiny piece so we would stash them in baggies and them bury them in a park. I didn't enjoy this. I was terrified of doing this and wanted to get away from him. Later I was by chilliwack mountain and saw a youtuber moe sargi who i never watch anymore. I kept asking him about his videos and he told me they are all fake... I already knew that.


Some other dream i recall about Saad doing drywall like my dad. He seemed pissed at me.

Strange star
I am viewing stars in a sort of program, but it's somehow also real, as if I am flying through space myself. There is a sort of feeling that is somewhat scary, and also a bit exciting. I come past stars that look like normal stars, glowing in their usual red, blue and yellow. But then I come across a massive structure. It reminds me of the death star, but as I look closely, the structure is much different. It seems artistic, with abstract geometry.

---

There was something that happened before that, but I don't quite remember.

23rd April 2021

Fragment:

I'm in a city, with H or maybe a friend, possibly a dream character. It's built out of full-sized cathedrals which in turn also basically make up a lot of the surrounding landscape. Either way, I'm on a public footpath of some kind and with a non-conscious impression of being somewhere quite high up. There are many other people around, I remember seeing people going in either direction with backpacks on.

The public path is built on top and as part of some cathedrals' rooves, which are partially flat. These bits have sections of tempered and thick (more than an inch) stained glass that allow pedestrians to walk over them and see inside the cathedrals that are below them.

(recall gap)

Something about a police investigation? I'm helping investigating or something.

(gap)

A concrete room underground. Related to sewers or some similar water processing facility? It's wet and there's some very deep water, which I can't see into very well but I'm not trying to look. There are platforms, this room has a feel of being like some kind of puzzle or challenge room.

At some point, I'm now in the water. In the water, there are dozens or perhaps hundreds of undead and rotting rabbits. Their fur is green and patchy. The visible flesh is a pale violet or purple. The ones that have eyes, possibly glow. The undead rabbits swim mindlessly at the surface of the water. The water does not look unclean, despite their presence. In fact, it's kind of clear, even if I can't see very far into it.

The room has a cold and dim light or ambience.

---

Notes:

Spoiler for Notes spoilered to keep DJ entry less lengthy:

- It's curious that rabbits are the second rodents to recently appear in my dreams. The first were rats in a semi-recent dream and they too were filthy or unclean in some sense of the words. Until I wrote this DJ entry out, I had entirely forgotten that rabbits are rodents.
-- They looked like the rabbits in places from WoW like the Tirisfal Glades and the Plaguelands.
-- I have always found a certain appeal to those zones in the game, they feel peaceful to me despite their gloomy and sickly ambience. Typing this out makes me realise that it's probably a bit unusual.

- On reading one of the books I have about dream symbology (I like to do so for interpretative inspiration sometimes), one thing noted about rabbits is that town people may mistake rabbits for hares and vice versa in dreams. Thinking about the dream, my instinct is to refer to them as rabbits, but in fact, they must have been hares based on their sizes as they were certainly not bunny sized. This makes some sense under that, as I have always been mostly a town dweller and even while awake, if I see a hare I'll likely think "rabbit!" before I think "hare" verbally.

- The undead in general have never frequently appeared in my dreams. I can't really recall many instances where there is undeath in some sense. I have never felt a particular fear of the undead despite my religious background and despite being aware that there are some things "similar" to undeath, but not in the traditional mythical sense.

- All of the things from this dream felt very desaturated, pale.

- There are a lot of stereotypical "underworld" symbols appearing in my dreams recently, I feel. It wouldn't be the first time but it may feel more pronounced lately since I'm establishing casual links between them. Perhaps some kind of subconscious world-building.

- The city made out of cathedrals was magnificent. The stained glass in the pathways was plain but made for a beautiful patterning effect. The whole area had a feel very much alike environments from Dark Souls, but more modern and casual and taken for granted in the dream as part of day-to-day existence, perhaps in the same way that I may take houses, office buildings and skyscrapers for granted in waking life.