Recent DJ Posts

1: I was telling people about lucid dreaming (doh), and had a fight using huge watermelons cut in half.

Morning of April 5, 2020. Sunday.

Dream #: 19,466-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



This dream is a typical somatosensory-based summoning dream. My waking-life identity is only partially extant (as I am vaguely aware of Zsuzsanna being nearby) but becomes more emergent with the final event. I remain on the porch of the Loomis Street house. (A porch is the result of precursory liminality defining the transition from dream state awareness to the beginning of the waking process.) Generally, I summon eggs from the palm of my hand (trying to force imaginary somatosensory dynamics to vivify my dreaming experience and its tactile illusions) at the beginning of a dream. In contrast, I sometimes focus on summoning coins near the end of a dreaming experience (or the end of my sleep cycle) as they correlate with cognizance (numbers and counting). Despite this being a lifelong lucid practice, it also occurs with precursory liminality as here.

I vividly feel two eggs come into existence in my cupped right hand, but they soon crack apart, and I see a green yolk (influence from “Green Eggs and Ham”), finding it amusing. I summon more eggs. There is a purple one and another with a blue yolk. I am eventually aware that my brother-in-law Bob is nearby.

At one point, I notice a beautiful bas-relief overhead. It is over a quarter of a sphere. I reach up to touch it. It is the artistic rendering of a puppy (with some other details such as a leafy scroll), and I erroneously associate it with the Rose Street inn. (I use to live above it until 1967 but get it confused with the Loomis Street house in this dream.)

Through a porch window, to the north, I notice the house that was on the corner is not there. Instead, there is a lot of digging (and I see at least one bulldozer) going on near a couple of piles of dirt. I talk about this with others. Also, over the sidewalk, there are two upright doorways (about six feet apart) with no door. (This “portal” feature is a traditional dream state exit point, more common in childhood dreams. The digging would be an association with having emerged from slow-wave sleep, especially as I presently live in a corner house though I do not recall where I live in my dream.)

My sister-in-law Cindy is in the last scene. I summon a miniature balloon poodle that grows to full size. Other balloon animals arise from out of nowhere (growing over time), including an elephant. The last two balloons arise. One is an orange giraffe. The other is a yellow life-size representation of my middle son (yet I vaguely consider it is Bart Simpson at first). He is facing away from me, towards Cindy. I begin to wake as I tell her who he is.

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This dream’s typical compartmentalized false memories are quite ambiguous. (For example, despite not remembering Bob and Cindy had died or what country I live in, I still recall my middle son, though he is nothing like Bart Simpson’s fictitious persona.)

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Morning of April 5, 2020. Sunday.

Dream #: 19,466-05. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



Halfway into my sleep cycle, the Naiad factor emerges again (the process occurring similarly through most sleep cycles for over 50 years), though not with lucidity or even liminality. It becomes part of an ambiguous, surreal situation that mediates cognizance out of what would otherwise be water reinduction (virtual melatonin mediation that water dynamics represent). Such a dream (and its familiar ultradian rhythm curve) would only occur near the middle of my sleep cycle. It transitions into me dominating the precursory preconscious mechanism, in a typical farcical play. The personifications of this process are two unknown young males rather than Naiads.

The setting has the typical indoor-outdoor ambiguity. There are three rock pools about ten feet apart, with the inference of an outdoor park but inside a bigger version of the Loomis Street house (irrelevant since 1994). I watch unrealistically tiny fish swim around (typical for this type of ultradian rhythm curve). Despite being in a false version of the Loomis Street house, synaptic gating temporarily allows me to recall Zsuzsanna (though not any recall of Australia).

Other than a focus on typical water lowering dynamics (less virtual melatonin), some reinduction dynamics emerge. The process correlates with a backstory that the city council declares that the water is “acidic” (perceived as less than seven hours of sleep having passed). As a result, the mediation factor shifts my dreaming experience. I am now near a couch (instinctual awareness of being asleep). Water rises to the seat of the couch, though only inside it. Water also rises to the highest level of the rock pools. I know the city council is doing this.

A pipe connects to each arm of the couch (though I never see one) and under the floor to the rock pools. The rising water stops slightly above the couch seat. I suddenly falsely remember that my comic books are inside the couch’s storage area. I lift the seat, and there are three stacks of comic books spanning the full width (which would incorrectly imply it has a very short width). I feel the wetness at the top of the first stack only, taking all three stacks and placing them in another part of the room, which is now the Cubitis living room (irrelevant since 1978).

Even though my comic books are mostly dry and okay, the scene shifts where I shout humorously (without anger) at two unknown young men who remain passive and lean back against a wall. (Indoor-outdoor ambiguity becomes an attribute again, and even though I am in a house, a landscape is visible beyond.) I tell them they ruined “hundreds of dollar’s worth of comic books.”

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The communication (including “hundreds of dollars” as a thread of cognitive arousal, as it involves the perception of numbers) correlates with the typical mechanism of melatonin increase suppressing wakefulness, that is, the ability to read as represented by the comic books being in water within a dream signification as the couch. These same factors unfolded in hundreds of previous dreams in unique ways.)

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A few dreams from this morning. On one of the earlier awakenings I decided to make notes and stay up to try and force myself back into more usual sleeping habits. Some in-line notes.

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Dream:

I was in my old home's bedroom. H and mom were there. H had set up this pipe organ for me (though there were no pipes anywhere) and though I was actually playing poorly I was reading the notation extremely well which pleased me since I'm usually terrible at doing this. But in the dream it was assumed (by myself and the characters) that I was in fact playing well too. I remember walking into the kitchen after trying to play some pedal notes, and mom was there making some food. She was cooking some meats like beef chunks and black sausage type of thing in the big cast aluminium pan. It looked odd, and traditional, but seemed like it could be nice too.

Mom was disappointed though, she said if I "can play the organ, then why can't you do the dishes?". In the dream I felt that there was no reason I couldn't do the dishes, but I felt the need to argue her statement because I had never had any piano lessons or any suchlike, which L and T did; I also presented the fact I was (apparently) doing really well with playing and the fact that I had never really understood music at all in the school, so this was a success or improvement over that. I felt some disappointment myself that mom couldn't just cherish this. In the dream I remember at some later point standing in the corridor and hearing L playing some DOTA game, and I think T was just in their own room, in the dark, which lead me to assume T was sleeping for some reason. It was night time through out the entire dream.

Dream:

Dreamed something a bit like the game I had played the last night (and this night) with H, in some watery and dark underground place. But then there were some fire enemies and I ran into a stairwell as I made distance from them; then the situation was a lot less game-like and more realistic and though I didn't feel afraid because of the fire, I made my way up the stairwell anyway, as did some other random people that appeared, some of which I apparently already knew on a personal level, classmates in the dream context or something.

I took my time going up the steps for whatever reason, sort of fooling around by doing a full step by actually stepping on every bit of each step with my feet as smoke would start from each place I had just stepped on. This went on for a short while, after which I continued going on up the stairs. I walked into a room from one of the stair landings, with some random girl my age or so? I opened a window to the fire escape for the building. I do remember a girl (Sol) I knew from school a long time ago, who seemed to be in the dream as filler. As I looked out the window and opened a latch on its left side, I could see a fireman on a ladder approaching (and emergency lights?) and as he got closer and came in through the window we told him it was nothing to worry about really.

I remember there was some antagonistic element to the dream from when I was climbing the stairs earlier; there was this group of angry radicals from downstairs who insisted on something about the fire and basically made a big deal out of nothing. The firemen that came through the window shrugged and sincerely said it would be fine since there was nothing to worry about and they told us that they'd switch the main power on in a second. Weird, since it hadn't seemed to be off at all. There was some side or sub-plot, involving a Gollum from China or something, who was being tortured. (Probably from recently playing Fallout)

Dream:

Super cheesy 80s programme intro, of a show apparently called "Rexxar : Star Trek". I was watching it on Youtube or something like it, with quite a focus "tunnel vision".

There was a vividly clear music with a leading electric guitar and other typical sounds from the 80s and some generic synth sounds. The visual elements of the montage were defined by the fact that they were little square "cuts" of other scenes, presumably from the programme itself, presenting the whole thing in a certain cheesy feel. Those square cuts mostly featured head shots of sexy and almost half naked women and some of the cuts had stills of Rexxar from Warcraft, as well as mini montage being featured in one of these square cuts showing a cartoony/kids-style but real cake of Rexxar being made or put together.

Everything in the video montages had a very pure white backdrop thing going on. Despite the cheesy aspect, the dream video was amazingly vivid, just as the music.

The characters, the women, were nobody that I recognise(d) and just felt like generic constructs appropriate for the context, but there was some underlying feeling of them being famous within the context.

The dream ended shortly after this intro video, when the show "started" by showing some sort of big teddy bear thing on a swivel chair in a very fancy post modern designer house. Vividness was much lower as soon as the intro cut to this sequence. I remember thinking in the dream that the whole thing was somewhat stupid, and that it had nothing to do with Rexxar (despite the featured cuts).

Slept pretty badly, and daylight savings ended
1: I was in a kind of mentoring meeting for engineers, in a dark club room, with a couple of levels and lots of water/fountains. There were a lot of girls there that I tried to seduce, one was successful, redhead. I also felt like there was some sort of conspiracy going on. I left at the end of the session and walked out with everyone else over the sunny hill. My dad was there as well at the end, talking to an instructor
2: I was on a boat in the Caribbean with my friends, we were evading quarantine.
3: I was in a house party with my friends. I was messing around with a light, and found a hidden room in the house, where shaq was hiding. I remember something about playing the hurdy gurdy

Awakening 1:
1: Owned a kind of road toboggan which I used to go down the road to work, eventually it broke and I was quite upset. I had a blanket and old tiny tv in there.
Awakening 2:
2: I was editing a movie for school with a couple of other people. Changed the music around in it, added some metal songs into it and was practicing the transitions, and then got ready to present it to media class.

Some dreams but recall was poor, possibly to do with the time I went to bed at.

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Dream Fragment:

Something where I and other people were scriptable entities as if in a game or something. I remember some friend telling me that I smelled badly or something and after that I was accessing something like a scent variable on myself and others, trying to copy someone else's nice scent onto my own variable's field.

Extremely vague memory of the visuals, I remember some desaturated warm colours and murky or dark visuals, but I don't think it was night or indoors.

Because I can't remember details, I can only say there were some monsters in the dream, I think possibly all dead. I also remember something about a non-moving train. Some of this probably brought on by playing Fallout again recently.

Awakening 1
1: Drive into car park, Hayley come in right after me. Go down stares, somehow my shaved face cuts hers. She gets upset and I don't understand why, eventually realise that my stubble cut her, apologise. Wait in line for a while, then play the hurdy gurdy.
2: At cricket field, a couple of childhood friends there, play some cricket, coach says Aidan is fast
Awakening 2
3: Go visit workplace of David with some friends, chemical plant. Wash up and leave, Aidan talks to 7 foot tall man, we leave via a shopping centre and go to the cinema.

A few dreams though I only remember bits of them.

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Dream Fragment:

I remember being in a somewhat dark room and having a discussion with some people about age, in the dream I was around an age when my hair would start greying, starting at the front and just lightly. Mom was there and she commented on how it was just like her dad's hair. I remembered a photo of him that mom has kept in her home office for years since his passing. Then I remember seeing a mirror and seeing myself on it. I looked older but unimaginatively so, but my hair did look a lot like his, except for the fact that his would have curled slightly.

Dream Fragment:

Perhaps from another segment of the previous dream, but I remember something about trains and a kind of alien (Mars-like?) desert. Day time, clear sky. There were some really high-tech-looking trains and one such train went up a hill into a rounded futuristic building. I was with a group of people (friends?) and we were walking in the opposite direction, though I kept looking. The engine carriage separated and sort of shot off on its own along the rails and quickly hit an end-track bit, bouncing back and then hitting the rest of the carriages. It was some type of freight train, and its ornamental features matched that of the building, featuring a warm orange.

Dream Fragment:

Something about me or captain Picard, in a large office room of some kind. Other people both friendly and not-so-friendly were there, and we were there to ask for money I think. Starting at 30,000 but then the guy didn't want to give us any more, so then there was this little scene where Picard walked closer to him slowly and then started punching him very fast until the guy, who was also kind of old, fell down on a spiral staircase. He didn't go all the way down or anything, just a couple of steps on his back, because the degree between each step was very small (less than half foot?).

The staircase steps were marble and the handrail looked fancy, but I don't remember it in detail. I remember a woman speaking after this had happened and she said "well, now you have 25,000, since you have to take away 5,000 just for that". But then before the dream ended there was something about a million, I don't remember.

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Notes:
- Recently in waking life I'd been thinking about how I don't really ever remember seeing mirrors in my dreams, so I think that's partly what brought on one's appearance in the first fragment.
- Typically, despite being the result of a previous conscious thought during wakefulness, I did not realise the connection between the two things in the dream. This is happening quite a bit lately, which is frustrating at times. But it may just be that my recall is also decent lately, so maybe I just think I notice it happening more but it may just always happen this frequently and I haven't realised before.
- Featuring myself as being older may also come as the result of conscious thought from waking life, as I often question why I'm always my current age in dreams. Although in the dream, until the hair thing was made obvious by the mirror, I did just feel like my current age anyway.
- In the train dream, the group that was with me was a bit shocked with the collision, but I had been expecting it. The dream had a slight Borderlands feel to it.
- There was a fourth dream fragment also involving trains but in a completely different context. I can't put the visuals into words now.
- The dream with Picard may have just been some continuation of the first fragment. I'm really not sure anymore if these dreams were directly linked or not, because I don't remember any transitions and I had several awakenings this morning.

A particularly long dream. I had other dreams from earlier awakenings, but again I did not make any notes because of how tired I felt, it felt like too much effort. The other dreams weren't as vivid as the long one anyway.

Edit: Self-memo: The original dream notes for this dream are not as extensive because I stopped writing them when I started writing this DJ entry to try and get as much detail from the lingering dream memories.

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Dream:

Starting from the end back; when I was woken up by H placing their hand on my head and speaking to me in waking life, I was walking with some determination towards a parked yellow car in the distance, at an earlier location that was prominent in several parts of the dream earlier; beside the car were shows, yellow too and this was important to me in the dream for some reason. On waking up I had a slight annoyance that I couldn't get to them now that I was awake, but this lingering feeling passed quickly.

This place was a distorted version of the area immediately outside my old home. It was day time, early morning with beautiful sunlight and the cul-de-sac was three or four times longer than it should be, somewhat wider too but not half as much as that. The whole area also sloped up gently on the more distorted side (the side that I never had much reason to be in). There was a zig-zag of pavement with cars parked along it, many of which were red or yellow, many being a mix of the two, like a VW type van which was mostly red but had a yellow boot door.

I had just been at a door to a shop of some kind? I was with Ni and a kid from my childhood, but I don't remember exactly who it was, possibly P, short dark hair, spiky? At this door, Ni asked if my shoes could be painted yellow there and some voice or something decided "no". At this point in the dream or earlier I remember looking down and seeing I had some sort of fabric shoes, like those that we often used for indoor gym classes in my childhood. The shoes were white, as they would be, but for some reason, I had yellow sweat pants, the same tone of yellow as every other yellow that had shown up so far in other dream elements. I remember thinking the white and yellow matched fine, but for some reason this wasn't enough to stop me from wanting the shoes to be yellow too.

Before we got to the shop and we were walking "up" the cul-de-sac, there was a more normal layout. There was a truck double-parking behind some cars, all too common, but it supposedly had dye or paint of the colour I wanted but it had been at this point that Ni and the other one appeared and "guided" me toward the door. I was a bit disappointed because I was sure the truck's paint would be fine, though after they appeared I got the impression maybe I was going to be stealing from the truck or something.

Up to this point I had been running around and faffing about on the more prominent dream location immediately in front of my old building. It was like a room but not. There were sofas and other things typical of a living room I think, but there was this big group of kids, mostly teen girls and some teen boys. I was annoyed with them because of what they'd done before, and because they were being passive-aggressive to me now too. I was looking incessantly for a laptop that I knew I had left on a table in the middle of these sofas, but these teens had moved everything since I had last been here in the dream, everything was covered in their stuff; bags, coats, etc. I remember looking through many laptop-bag like bags but it wasn't in any of them. I even looked in a bag that had a multi-bag tag* to it. After looking in that bag I remember something about a text command which may have been why I couldn't find it, but at that point I got distracted by someone and then the whole yellow shoes thing began.

Before that, I remember going through a wide hall, the exit for which was on the wall of the building and lead to that sofa area. The hall was dark, with an impression of night time to it despite being indoors. There were two of these teen girls doing some kind of work out on some bars on the ceiling, practically twisting themselves around the bars in some kind of pull-up exercise. They looked at me with mocking faces, I was very annoyed with them at this point already.

Before that part, I remember being in a forest on the other side of this hallway-tunnel. I think I was heading toward it when I had tripped and the group of teens, who I was walking together with, started to kick me. The girls were especially mean, kicking me very hard and then when it was over I remember feeling like it was all going to bruise. I felt angry that they abused me as a group and I could see some sort of interface thing that showed me their avatars, their nicknames and how many times each of them kicked me. I told myself I was going to keep this to report them and to show at a hospital when I got there for treatment. At this point I was convinced I was going to go to a hospital, as soon as I could, because I was afraid of massive bruising over my body, especially my face and head. Maybe I was concerned about internal bleeding too or something. Although in the dream I don't remember pain as I would from waking life, I still had a dream perception of having been extensively hurt.

Before this, I remember a fairly peaceful forest, day time, possibly afternoon judging by the yellowed colour of the light. It was a specific type of pine forest typical of my native country, the ground was dry I seem to remember, despite a number of ferns here and there or grass. There had been something about socks and the laptop at this early point of the dream but unfortunately I'm having difficulty recalling anything else; I have the feeling there was a transition of scene before this that put me in that forest, but I can't remember details before it.

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Notes:
- When I was 8-10 is when I knew Ni and potentially some of these teens.
- I remember at that age there was someone I knew from school who had some gold nike shoes or something. I remember liking the shoes, especially because of the gold colour, as I've always been partial to gold.
- The main reason I can think of for the antagonism in the dream is because at school I had a very difficult time getting any of the girls from my classes to like me, even when I was being nice it'd often be the case that I was ridiculed, something that I think was partly driven by boys that these girls did like.
- In the dream I think the yellow shoes thing was something about making a point.
- Although the dream heavily featured things from my teen life (11-17 mostly), I didn't have the perception of being any younger than I am now; I think a lot of these types of situations in dreams for me are always with me being my current age because I don't particularly feel any different now than I did from 5, 10, 20 years ago, aside from my pain problems.
- More of a passing thought: At school I was almost always the youngest in a class, or amongst the youngest. In my family I am the youngest too, and interestingly Ni (who basically tried helping me in the dream) is one of the younger ones in his family, too.
- The contents of the bag that had the "multi-bag" tag were "quantic" and could be accessed from other bags too, a feature I've often used in modded Minecraft, incidentally a game I started playing in my late teens before it was even popular or had such extensive modding.

(Lucid, semi-lucid)

5am
-car, car park, got grandparents in car, tell them that if they ever can't breathe, to call us, because we'd rather they do that, than worry about if they're bothering us. Grandma, Nana, Pop? Mrs McPherson walks by, after locking her own car. It's night. I get ready to wave. As she walks in front of our car, she sees me and waves and smiles. I start to drive away, ready to go. I am careful of cars near me, but it's hard the way they're parked, but I don't hit them. There's another girl, someone I know or someone I don't but now come to know through the way we're carefully driving around each other. It's just me and her, in our separate cars; hers is a vaguely plum red. End up friends, seeing each other later? Like a weird square levels place, heading back home(?). I sit and wait for someone there, grow sad because my parents aren't here or aren't paying attention or aren't coming, and no one is coming, except I have one friend i remember, but she isn't coming, something about a house and she's still inside, it's our shared house, a few people?? Something about others; me manipulating people to come out? Decide against it? Feeling sad; waiting for one who will come. Something about a shower.

9:30-10:40am.
•non lucid, supermarket, shopping with Mum, she's dressed similar to shop workers just by coincidence, I'm confused about why she only getting like two things
•DILD, lucid because see spider, look again later and it's a different spider, things changing between times I look minutes apart. Little place - shed, stall, gazebo - with clothes and heaps of stuff in it, Ben comes to ask if I have his black pants, I'm annoyed he would think so, he goes to look even though I tell him I'm certain I don't.
• WILD? See tractor tyres. Imagine them bouncing. They start to move into a pile. I move a tiny bit; wait. Try carefully to get up - works, I'm going over to the things. I jump up and down on them, am impressed by how they sound like a real trampoline. Stand still on it, or step down and sit on it. Focus on senses for a wee moment - maybe stop because can't hear or see or feel much. Go inside house. Nice tidy house. Get up on kitchen bench. Say, "this dream is mine. I'm in control. It won't end until i want it to, it will go for as long as I want it to." I'm walking along the bench. I also ask for focus, but then I confess it's very in focus already. I come across a baby girl, in a red onesie. I ask her name, don't quite hear her answer. Pick her up - soo heavy, and I think I've forgotten to change my expectation from when picking up a full size person. ?? Pick her up and chat to her. Ben there somewhere. I put baby down on bench, going to change her, so she's wearing just top and nappy, then I remove that; then I pick up baby and the blanket beneath her, which hadn't been there, and I take baby into living room - forwards and round corner to left - and put her on a beanbag with a young me(?). She's now in a dress with no nappy. I kind of expect Ben to ask why she's got no nappy. I'll just make something up, coz my answer doesn't matter anyway. Think I then leave this place. I'm by door and think of the task I want to do, a Task of the Year. I walk up the two steps to the front door and exit the house. Is it from here I... I'm not sure, because I remember getting lucid numerous times, and having numerous little adventures. In a way this one feels like it ends in the living room with the baby.

• another WILD, or dreamt WILD, where I start from lying on front with elbows bent and hands palm down on ground; push myself up? Another in similar place.

• decide to do a ToTY, fly up to look around and see what's nearby, if desert or ocean makes more sense. Fly up through a ceiling, can sorta see through it, come back down, I'm over a town and there's a floating massive basketball basket, and a floating kiddie pool of basketballs, most yellow and with a bit of white rope attached. I get an orange basketball from another regular basket floating nearby, it's just sitting in there, and I can't resist trying to throw it in the big basket while I'm passing over the top; it misses, so I have to try again, because I really want to know what happens when you get it in. I end up in the pool with the balls, and pick up four, ready to take them with me, I'll throw two and give one to the person I save and keep one. I laugh at myself. A car drives up the street just below me, a woman driving a man in a white ute with a roof, and a dog is running along by the vehicle or might start inside the vehicle. I start trying to throw the basketballs at the people. I really want to hit them and see what happens. I keep missing, either hitting just the car or not even that. Once it bounces from part of the car or the road and kinda hits the person (like the door was open), surprises them both. I'm worried about hitting the dog, or of what people will think if I hit the dog. The dog is kind of like Laddie, in colouring and I'd imagine breed. Finally the car goes and/or I stop, and I try to find another basketball to take with me but all that's left in the pool are vortexes, so I'm disappointed I used them all up. I do think of picking up one I threw, but I don't end up doing that. I fly on out of the ball pool, and head sort of north-east (from where I'm facing, anyway, straight forward and to the right).
• go to some nice little town, then it's like we're at some pools. I'm with Jesse, and other people/family members. I consider going out forwards, towards a pretty lake, it feels like we're in Taupo, but then I stay where we're at and go right, traveling along. I come across a little girl about 9-10, who looks like that little 2-year-old girl at the motor camp 9 years ago. I ask, "is your name Rosie?" She says "yes." I say, "I recognise you from somewhere," not wanting to try explain exactly where or when. I ask, "do you have a sister?" She tells me she does. I ask if the sister is older, and then I think Rosie says what her name is, and then says, as I notice a girl right near her, "this is her." I look at the older girl a second, and say "hi Nikoiya." She looks back at me a second or two, then says "hi." Apparently Nikoiya isn't her real name, she used a fake name as we did, so she seems to remember who I am by the name I call her. I almost tell her I am Sophie, but then think she has already figured out who I am.
At some point - after one of previous, no idea which, if they're separate or one followed the other - I decide to do the boat/ocean ToTM.
• Flying, see trees etc, and a lake, yes that's right I see a beach of some kind, silvery, and I get happy because I could find someone who needs a boat fixed there. I think of how I'm flying by swimming, and how it's easy even though I don't really swim like this. I think to rocket boost myself with my feet, and try but 'slightly wake up'; then something about Jesse, telling him about/apologising to him for waking up by trying to use rocket launchers? He's with me when I 'go back' to the dream, and says he wouldn't have tried that. I might try again, remembering to stay present and focused this time? My shoes are red and white. I get to the lake. I can't see any boats in need of help. I spin around while flying over it, turning my back on the lake, and say there needs to be a boat there; when I turn back, there is one. It's smaller than a regular boat. Still, when I get there, the woman seems about my size and she fits in the boat. It's a wooden boat, kind of like a basic toy. She's a black woman in her 30s, wearing green and pink I think. "Hey girl," I say. "What's wrong?" "It's sinking," she says. It's like she's not in the boat now, she's beside it. The boat is sinking, and tips sideways like about to go under. I swim under and quickly grab the boat, lift it up and drain the water out. Then I'm holding it, and it's about the side that I could lay in it and have my head at one end and feet at the other, but curved, like a small bath. I'm able to hold it easily enough now. I see a hole, and using absolutely nothing but my fingers, I try to stuff something in it to plug it. Obviously it doesn't work. I imagined having bubble gum, but I didn't have any. I try then to summon another boat: "boat," I say, and "new boat," "make a boat." Nothing. I was trying for a bigger boat than she has, a proper yacht. I give up on that. Then I take the leaking boat to the shore of the lake, the other end from the beach I saw, and get from nowhere a tube of hot glue. I start filling the gaps with that. I'm a bit worried, because there are two little holes and then one really big widespread hole. But I keep squirting glue into it. The glue comes out pink/purply and sparkly. The woman is crying with joy and gratitude all the while I'm doing it, and there are one or two other people here with us and they are hugging or comforting her or talking to her. I feel a lot of pressure, because if my fixing it doesn't work after she's been so thankful that'll be awkward as. I finally finish, and try to tell her I don't know how good it'll be. "It'll work for two hours at the most, maybe one hour, just to get you back home," or whatever. Then I get back in the water. I remember about the water proof camera. I say to the woman, "don't you have a waterproof camera? Didn't you drop it in a place near sharks? A shark infested area?" I wonder if the people will find it suspicious that I 'know' all this when she hasn't mentioned a camera. But I can't be bothered trying to explain why I know this; I just need her to show me where she dropped it so I can get it and finish. She comes with me to show me, and points at an area by the bank with green reeds. I spend a second psyching myself up, consider praying for safety but then decide in a dream that's unnecessary. I go under the water, and see the shark infested area: it's like our pink bathroom sink cabinet; there's what looks like it could be a camera, inside a special bag; and there's what's apparently a tiny hyperactive shark, shorter than the length of my forearm, and he's just kind of wriggling around like he's fighting some invisible creature. I grab the camera, come up, and open the bag to check it is the camera. It is. After I remove the camera from the bag, a little frog leaps out; that startles me some. I've completed the task, and I expect I lose lucidity soon after this.
(I'm not satisfied with this 'completion' of the task and want to try to do it again.)
• walking into place, near a foresty area, in line behind boys, Charlie and Forrest bickering behind me, I say hi to them, ask how school is going, Forrest says he's got Miss Minn, the best/nicest/prettiest (can't remember) teacher ever.

In the earliest part of the dream I remember, I'm stepping into an elevator. I seem to be able to see through its walls, into the shaft and the mechanism it runs on, and the rough, dark area around it. I want to go up a floor, but after getting about halfway there, the elevator stops. Then it goes back down, past the floor I got in on – down and at an angle as it follows the track. It seems to be headed down to the basement floors, which annoys me. I hate it when this happens.

I think it must have dawned on me around then that the earlier experience I was thinking of took place in a dream, and that this too was a dream. But it’s hard to remember exactly because once I’m out, the dream turns out to be one of those lucid ones where my senses don’t seem to be working properly. I can’t control the dream; even moving around is laborious. But, knowing that these are problems that often goes away on their own, and that I rarely experience them in outdoor areas, I keep going, trying to make my way up to the surface.

Eventually, I do make it up. I’m in an unfamiliar house with large, light rooms, including a sunporch, visible through a glass window. Since the problems from before don’t seem to be affecting me anymore, I step straight through the glass to the sunporch, then through that glass to the area outside, where there’s a small lake.

There’s ice on the lake, which gives me an idea: I could try ice skating in a dream. But the ice is breaking up and thawing even as I watch, and it doesn’t seem quite right to freeze it again. But this is a dream, after all, so why shouldn’t I be able to skate on liquid water?

I step out onto the lake, surrounding my bare feet with a slippery layer of air, and kick off. It works perfectly, a bit like self-propelled jet-skiing. It’s an exhilarating experience.

The lake is long and irregularly shaped, with small, rocky islands, purple and green with lichens, and beds of rushes and lily pads. It’s bounded by a stone wall too tall for me to be able to see over, not far past the lake’s edge in some places. And there now seem to be a number of cats around, sitting on the rocks – watching me, perhaps. Near one of the wall’s corners, I see one that looks like the feral cat my household took in but who died of cancer the previous week. I reach out and pet him – something he would never allow a human to do – and he responds affectionately.

After making another round of the lake, I’m starting to get curious about that wall. What’s on the other side of it? I circle back, pick up speed, and jump towards it with the intention of going through – and suddenly find myself bodiless in empty space. I guess there was NREM on the other side.

I prepare myself for maintaining awareness in this state – but it only lasts a minute or so before I wake up.

-27.2.20

Dreams for the mornings of 26th, 27th and 31st of March. 26th and 27th enclosed in spoiler to reduce general length of the DJ entry.

The last few days I have had decent dream recall from morning awakenings but I have felt too tired to make initial notes for them (28th,29th,30th). Sleep has been unusual for this past week, keep getting up too late despite several normal awakening times but might be starting to improve again.

---

26th:

Spoiler for 26th content:

Dream Fragment:

One of the earliest dreams I remember, it was quite a vivid dream but I didn't make note of it until a later awakening so details were lost. Basically a giant/anthropomorphic sex scene of some sort? (Self-memo; see original note for a few more details)

Dream:

On a planet covered in cities but also wide ravines with lava at the bottom. The buildings weren't very tall (no more than twenty stories each) and some were on the edges of these lava ravines. I remember grappling between the buildings at high speed with some Oort grapples? It was like a game and another player saw me and followed me along with their own grapples, which annoyed me initially. From the building tops I could see a sunset to the right and a coastal area. Opposite to that, on the left, was more city but in smaller density and no lava ravines; it was also progressively darker/duskier the more I saw toward the left. I headed in that general direction with the grapples.

Transition of some kind possibly.

A mix of McGee and a high school friend. He was flying with a jet pack and I was flying with a massive and single jet engine that I had strapped on my back or something. But it was too heavy so I kept touching the ground instead of simply flying up/forward, which made the momentum sort of reset.

We were flying or racing along some roads, there were trees either side of the roads and the trees made a sort of canopy over the road. I remember moonlight coming through the leaves.

27th:

Spoiler for 27th content:

Poor recall, woke up unable to focus. There were other dreams from 7AM onwards but I didn't recall enough details to go into any of them as I made my initial notes.

Dream:

This was the last dream, which took place in a town. It was a bit busy and I was with someone, possibly H. We'd just been at a detached/semi-detached house? and we were going to cross the street. I remember it was day time but possibly near the end of the day. A purple van driven by a woman was backing up and parking on the driveway to the right of the one from the house we'd just left.

Her van was supposed to have some vynil stickers on the side (auto-intuitive dream knowledge) but for some reason it had an error message of some kind, which in the dream I briefly realised wasn't supposed to be the case. The street was quite wide, like six lanes wide, three going either way. The road was on a slope and the incline increased quickly after a certain point going down, around where it also cornered.

We watched for traffic and crossed the street, then walking up the street on the other side. This side had no driveways whatsoever; it instead had a tall building, of which I only remember the wall, with no windows (understood it to be the side of the building). The wall was cream coloured, typical of my native area. At the top of the road, where it met a perpendicular road, forming a T junction, it looked extremely complicated and traffic along the perpendicular street was very busy. I remember we crossed to a little pavement island in the middle of the junction. For whatever reason, some people I knew from early years of school (8-10 years of age?) were there. I spoke to one of them about electrical power and I suggested putting a generator here.

Then an interface overlay appeared and I could see "slots" on the pavement islands that could have had houses built there, so that was why I was suggesting the generator, instead of the houses apparently. In the interface I got the feel that the generator would be placed underground, beneath the road, should it come into existence. The dream ended soon after.

31st:

I had some sort of pre-sleep half-dream. I was starting to "paint" with just my mind (telekinetically) and was having ideas for a new painting and what I might paint next in my art room.

Dream:

I was in Sweden. I was with one or both of my Swedish friends and we were in their metro system. The stations were tall and spacious, but what really caught my attention was the shapes of the architectural structure. A lot of long and abstract shapes (just the kind of thing I'd like to build with concrete) and all of the stations we went through were mostly concrete, which I think my friends disliked. I think I liked it despite the lack of colour just because of the shapes.

The stations were very well lit and quite busy. I remember we went through one station on the train and there were small island platforms with crossings between them that went down on the rail level, which seemed to imply a high degree of self-responsibility from people.

Another part of the dream or a different dream, I was trying to get to or from university?

Dream Fragment:

Something like the cities game I've played recently, but mixed with actually travelling through the city. I was trying to manage some sort of power dams, three of them to be exact, and they were using water from a mountain like a custom map I made in WL that had a dormant volcano lake.

There were some flow issues eventually, especially because the water was getting completely drained by the dams and this disrupted where it wanted to flow; the water from the source started making its own way in opposite directions and this annoyed me.

Dream Fragment:

In some kind of office. I remember the typical fake ceiling and light fittings. It must have been afternoon; there was a nice and golden light coming in through blinds that covered the windows. The dream focus was on two characters. A stereotypical "madame" and her butler. She wanted to check if she had won some prize with this organisation which did travel tours as rewards? She was obviously naive with her direct interactions with people and the world. Someone representing the organisation felt a bit odd and sinister.

---

Notes:
- The pre-sleep state was interesting because it was like what I used to get as a child, just not as strong. It came on very subtly and on its own.
- That state's content was a conscious decision, because I quickly understood that I was more creatively receptive at this stage compared to normal thought, just a shame I didn't interrupt it to make any notes about the painting ideas.
- I was a bit disappointed to not have made notes about the sex dream right after it had happened. In the last few days during the first morning awakenings I have dreams with great recall and think to myself of short word descriptions for the dreams so that I can remember them even if I fall asleep but this technique hasn't worked very much so in conclusion I really need to just write down dreams as soon as I can if I'm likely to fall asleep again.

I am somewhere outside? with Melissa, Pepe, and his mom. I think they both look high and then, sure enough, she lets on that they are. She confides in us that Caesar is the head of some pot farm/ selling ring or something similar. I can see it, imagining him and his boisterous personality right now. Now, I am climbing up through some tall and thin wooden structure. I pass through ‘floors’ that are spaces barely bigger than my body. Each side of the space, I think even including the top, is a mirror, making for a trippy experience. I now get to what seems to be the top. It is different because the sides are concave, joining in a small ceiling, and it seems there’s nowhere left to go. I don’t accept this possibility though, and push on one of the sides. It opens and reveals a vast, dim space that I think may be the pot farm.




I am in New York City with Melissa, walking along a sidewalk. The street is busy and I can smell and taste the putrid emissions from passing trucks. The sidewalk is close enough to the street, but it thins even further at one point, leaving hardly any space for foot traffic. We pass a tower with a parabolically curved glass facade. The glass is mostly translucent, but it gets much dimmer higher up. There is a space behind the glass, in which there are large advertisements. Melissa says something about how they won’t even be visible. I agree. We end up in a restaurant that seems familiar (from another dream, I think). I notice a couple about our age in the booth behind us, across from me. They are dressed pretty nice for this place and sitting on the same side. I think about their life. I notice a man in sunglasses sitting alone at a booth diagonal from us. Melissa asks to trade sides, and we do. I look through the fairly short menu and decide I want pretty much the first thing on it, some corn dog things. The waitress, brunette and maybe 30+, comes over and seems out of it, like drunk or sad or something. She gives us a minute. I look at the extensive beer list in the back. They’re sorted by brewery (they must all be local - I don’t recognize any), under the brewery’s logo. The price per beer is then listed after the name, lowest to highest, separated by slashes. Most of the first prices are six to seven dollars, but I see prices like 9,16, 27, 59, etc. I think these prices must be for bottles and/or pitchers but that they’re still ridiculous. I guess that’s just how it is in the city. Nothing sounds too good anyway, so I figure I’ll settle for a slightly cheaper bill. The waitress returns and sits by me, putting her hand on my shoulder. It could be a nice gesture, but with how she is slightly rubbing her hand it is taken a little too far. She takes Melissa’s order and then mine. I say ‘I just found something, where did it go?’, trying to find it again. I find it and tell her while also pointing. She doesn’t say much. She comes back and sits again. This time she reaches over and grabs my crotch. I am a little shocked and put my own hand over it. When I move my hand, she does it again and then leaves. I text or tell Melissa and she just shrugs it off. I want to tell her what kind of reaction there would be if the genders were switched.

Again i had longer dreams but they still evade my memory when I have to write them down. I should take notes but I'm getting lazy in my old age.

Jamie

Only a brief flash of walking with jamie down some steps in a park or something. That's all. this is the only dream I had of her this week. Although I'm frustrated she isn't around much in them anymore I guess something once a week is consistent.

Hug

I'm driving with someone into a parking lot of a large apartment building. I have false memories of running around the hallways of the apartment complex, and most of it seemed abandoned.

As wee pull in I see C and C come out of a stairwell. And yes It's the C i tried to date last summer and failed miserably with. Mainly because of Jamie being upset in a dream and a string of jamie synchronicities scared me out of it. Twin flames, or alien love bite, or whatever you call it - God forbid they actually talk to you in person or write you. But somehow they raise all hell when you try for something else....

Anyway the driver notices the C with bigger boobs and asks me about her. I say those girls are skanky and the one he fancies is already in a relationship. We park and get out, and my C notices me. She walks up to me and gives me a big hug. I think she is apologizing for something. I'm surprised since she pretty much avoids me like the plague. The hug IS her though. It's so nice and warm. Then i wake up.

Jamie really needs to step up her dream hugging game.

Jesus

I'm in a room with Jesus and he says, "what Are you doing in my dream?" Not sure why he would say that, if he really meant it or said it in a joking way. There was no context.