• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

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    1. Arthur (AAR-VDARK)+Alien or other R rated movie

      by , 06-02-2024 at 05:35 PM
      Over two weeks ago I had this dream. It started out in an Arthur kind of unviserse. I don't remember much about what happen. But at some point someone meets aliens. And then the alien kind of I think explodes and then it turns into a real-life setting and the alien leaves a bloody craddle with a lot of blood in it and a couple of layers of I want to say skin. And once I (?) uncover it I found a baby alien in a bath of blood and its tinny but then I woke up and had to go to the bathroom.
    2. bad recall.

      by , 05-30-2024 at 01:41 AM (MoSh's DJ: The Best Dream Journal in The Universe.)
      I remember barely anything over the past couple of days.

      2 dreams from the night before.

      both were of Jamie talking to a fake version of me. Can't remember what the fake me was saying but I remember Jamie saying, "No Robert! Doing that would break us up I'm not going to do that!" Is she referring to using my temptations via the voice, to explore her temptations? I won't say much but that's what's been happening.. not only do we have fake voices in our heads telling lies. now there's fake me and Jamie... in our dreams doing the same thing. The struggle is real. Well hopefully by now, we've learned our lesson, NOT to entertain the very thing she was warned about from my dreams...

      Last night

      Where is it?

      I was walking in a different town with a group of people. I kept seeing a sign for a piano store or something. It existed in a large shopping building. I had trouble navigating the place trying to find the store but got thrown out by security from accidentally entering a VIP area. I went in through another section and found the store. My memory fades after.

      Where is she?

      I was in the mall again. with a bunch of people. There was this place with a high tile ceiling. something happened to the roof and one section of the tiles fell. The rest of the ceiling was going to give way. I climbed up some corner to escape by the ceiling. I sat there looking at the people below wondering why they weren't leaving the room from the imminent danger. And where was Jamie, and how come I hadn't seen her in a dream in so long? This got me upset. "Come back Jamie." I said to myself and started crying. (My sad emotions are like 100x in dreams) I was almost expecting her to enter the room then, but I didn't want her to see me like this so I went further into the tunnel and woke up.
    3. The Blanket Dimention (LD)-night of 4/20/24

      by , 04-22-2024 at 02:19 AM (Book of Cursed Dreams)
      The first thing I remembered was my mom offering me a vegan beef jerky stick. I accepted her offer and took a bite. It was very tasty and juicy. After taking a few more bites, I noticed that there was a green slime all over it. I began scratching it off and thought to look where she grabbed it from. It was next to a window AC unit and there was slime and mold all over the other jerky sticks.

      Starting to get nervous, I searched google on my phone what would happen if you ate slime mold.

      • You will experience extremely vivid lucid dreams.
      • If more than a drop is ingested, you will die."

      "Oh no" I thought as I start pacing around and as my vision begins to fade, I feel extremely tired and find a place to fall over. I hear my mom say something about needing to keep me awake so I don't die.
      Everything is black and I can sense my body free floating in the void. "I ate a lot more than one drop, I guess this is the end of me." I accepted my fate.

      "Wait, that was a dream, I didn't eat any mold." glad to be alive I began flying upward into the void, seeing different images of worlds and places as I flew. What solidified was a world where the ground, walls, and sky were made up of an enormous blanket.

      "Time to skydive teleport"
      *This is a task I made up where I look at an object on the ground that has similar color to a place I want to teleport to. I dive into it and imagine that I'm actually skydiving into the place I want to go to.*

      I see a tan rectangle in the blanket and attempt to visit a desert, instead of shrinking down and skydiving like I wanted, I'm just moving downward, and the blanket is being pushed down with me. I start swinging my arms around feeling the blanket as I look up and attempt to speak to my subconscious mind. "You and me are going to have a lot of fun together!" I began flying back up. "Could you create a dream character that represents you?" I plead. "Okay." A very quiet and meek sounding voice responded. "Did you agree to do it?" Not sure if I actually heard anything or not. "Yes!" it responded a bit louder but just as meek. I look around and see a huge muscular black guy. He starts rapping.
      "Some people think they're all that, but they only good in the hood."

      I lose lucidity at some point listening to him. I can't remember the rest of the rap, it was very good though. It had to do with people who think they're really good because the people around them are bad.
      I wake up.

      Note: first long DILD

      Updated 04-22-2024 at 12:30 PM by 100743

      lucid , non-lucid , nightmare , memorable
    4. Night of Saturday 4/6/24 (Comp Night 9)

      by , 04-08-2024 at 02:12 AM (Dreamlog)
      I'm on a hockey team and I know I am the worst player.
      My hockey stick wont stay together. There is some mechanism to put it together that I can't get my mind around.
      There is a warmup the team is doing that required eggs.
      My entire carton was busted, eggs cracked and leaking inside.
      Then the was an issue with my skates. The coach had to ask another player to help me.
      I feel useless and like a burden.
      We eventually make it to the pre-game huddle.
      The coach calls me out for my bad mobility on the ice.
      According to him, I struggle to turn around and keep my balance while doing so. I know it is true.
      I contemplate leaving the team so that I don't drag the team down anymore.
      Maybe I will practice on my own to reach base level, return, and get my honor back.
      I wake up feeling defeated.

      Updated 04-08-2024 at 03:10 AM by 99808

      nightmare , non-lucid
    5. Minecraft To False awakening-Night of 4/3/24

      by , 04-04-2024 at 06:33 PM (Book of Cursed Dreams)
      Having to give dialog to DCs??-screenshot_20240404_052910_samsung-health.jpg Having to give dialog to DCs??-screenshot_20240404_052850_samsung-health.jpg

      I was too anxious from the FA to fall back asleep; I considered stopping lucid dreaming I was so disturbed. My terror and dreams are separate things however, they can happen at the same time but they're not causally related.
      I'm not going to stop because I was afraid!

      Color Code

      Intentional control

      It's around 4:15
      While laying down relaxing I'm imagine myself walking in the dark. It starts to feel very real; I continue on and soon after each step I take gravity weakens until with a tap of the toe I'm sent into space. I float for a few seconds, "Well, why not visit Minecraft?" accepting the fact that I dream of it so often, I hear the sound effect of falling into a body of water.

      I still don't see anything so I imagine pressing a space bar on an imaginary keyboard so I can float up, just then I can see that I'm in a body of water. I make it to the surface and then float above the water. "What was my task?" it feels like the dream world is fading as I ask myself this question, I land then begin focusing on the tree's and notice some tall green Mario pipes with a 2d image of Kirby on them. Everything stabilizes.

      "Element control!" I turn back to the water and command, "Rise water, rise!!!" I bring my hands in-font palms facing up and raise my hands. A medium portion of the water is reacting but only lifts about six feet into the air, never disconnecting with the body of water.

      Satisfied I turn back to the Mario pipes and think about what else I can do, I phase through the Mario pipe to look inside, in the center of the pipe where the ground meets, I see another 2d image of Kirby.

      I fly back up in the air and circle the area just taking in everything. The dream begins to fade.

      *I think I wake up, I want to grab my phone after the lucid so I can record an audio file.*

      I sit up in bed and hear a swooshing sound and feel off, I reach for my blanket and when I grab it, I immediately notice that I can't actually feel anything. The blanket moved so realistically, I'm filled with a sense of terror, "Is my brain messed up?" "Am I awake but my body is asleep and that's why I can't feel anything?" I'm questioning my sanity at this point and simply decide to lay back down and close my eyes.

      I wake up.
      I should have known it was a false awakening and remained calm, the light was on, I heard strange sounds, I couldn't feel the blanket.
      This was my first time moving around while fully conscious in a false awakening and it really caught me off-guard.

      Updated 04-04-2024 at 08:15 PM by 100743

      lucid , nightmare , false awakening , memorable , side notes
    6. Night of Sunday 3/31/24 (Comp Night 3)

      by , 04-01-2024 at 05:48 PM (Dreamlog)
      I'm intimate with a woman with long curly black hair.
      I false awake into my bed and see the bedroom door slowly creek open.
      A little girl who looks straight out of a horror movie quietly slides into the room.
      She approaches the bed. Her mouth isn't moving but I hear crying.

      My girlfriend wakes me up. The crying I heard was my mouth making noise through sleep paralysis.

      North Korea:
      I’m driving with my brother on an expressway.
      I miss a turn and he starts to berate me.
      I get upset and leave the car.
      I'm in a sort of parking structure.
      I have some basketball gear and am now looking for somewhere to change into my shorts.
      I see a security woman and she approaches me.
      She tells me I shouldn't be here, but I communicate that I'm looking for the Basketball room.
      She begrudgingly lets me go, and directs me to an elevator off to the left. It’s a big furniture-moving elevator.
      I get in the elevator, and notice there are a bunch of Asian-looking teens.
      When the elevator gets to the bottom, off to the side, there is an exit for a “breast reduction center”.
      The main entrance up ahead though, is into a hotel with red carpeting. It seems like a lobby.
      The teens are speaking another language and are interested in me, getting all up in my face to the point where I am worried for my safety.
      I realize that I am in North Korea.
      We exit the elevator together, and I start trying to communicate.
      I bounce the basketball, hoping that we could play a game and maybe form a bond of sorts.
      The ball bounces far too high (but I accept this).
      The teens seem friendly. I go to grab my phone and try to find a translator, but all I can find is text to text translation.

      North Korea is Best Korea.

      Updated 04-01-2024 at 08:26 PM by 99808

      non-lucid , nightmare , dream fragment
    7. not good...

      by , 03-24-2024 at 04:19 PM (MoSh's DJ: The Best Dream Journal in The Universe.)
      First night I just had dreams that Jamie found a girlfriend. I always knew she liked both, not going to judge.I have some borderline traits myself, being unsure of your sexuality is a given. I did find these dreams a little distressing. In these dreams it seems I am watching them from a distance, and not a participant.

      Next night.

      another flash of Jamie being with a girl, but this time I can see them having sex... Honestly I don't know why I dream these things and sometimes loathe the connection. (When she moved in 2011, I first had a dream she was sleeping with some guy but wasn't feeling it. Then I dreamed she was sleeping with a woman, a few days later she switched her orientation status on FB. You gotta realize I'm not trying to spy, these things just come to me and sometimes I wish they wouldn't)


      Just a flash of me and Jamie in a western setting. Some big guy in a cowboy hat captured us and we are ties and gagged by a fence. Jamie looks my way in distress.

      Last night


      I was in a crowd at night time and noticed Jamie in the crowd looking at me.


      I get a job at a newly opened seafood restaurant. I'm in orientation with a group of people. Jamie is in the group, as well as some other pretty girl with crazy braids. Jamie doesn't look at me at all, but keeps lingering by. I'm drinking a soda pop from a glass bottle. The top somehow breaks. I go to the sink area to clean it up. Jamie follows me, or is doing something in the same area. She's really silent, but lingering by. I find the silence really uncomfortable as I try to clean up the glass.

      No way

      I'm walking outside early morning. I'm upset. In my dream memories Jamie had told me that she didn't want to see me anymore because I was too, "Emotionally immature."

      I go by a mcdonald's but it's not open in the plaza. I see my brother wandering into Tim Horton's. and decide to follow him in.

      First of all, I'm just going to assume that something is wrong in the dreams. (She's been attacked by dream demons constantly especially since "The Boyfriend." dream). Second. I admit: I have severe emotional problems, they have gotten a lot better since older. I was mentally and emotionally abused and abandoned by my dad specifically. The effects of that abuse have stuck with me my entire life. I know Jamie had similar problems, that she briefly told me about herself. So, I always saw that as an opportunity to relate to one another and be there for one another. Things DO get easier with age. and I've been doing my best to work on that. I'm scared too, if Jamie were to come into my life again. There is a lot of emotional trauma around one another, and how we handled things in the past to work through. It wouldn't be easy, it might be hard. We are going to make mistakes. But I want to do it, and I want to become better and be better this time.
    8. Answering Jamie's difficult question.

      by , 03-19-2024 at 11:08 PM (MoSh's DJ: The Best Dream Journal in The Universe.)
      Cold has finally started to go away, Yay!

      The other night. Asked for Raven's help again to break Jamie out of the jail thingy I dreamed about.


      I'm walking in a crowded city I'm crossing a street. At the corner there is a tall display, displaying some advertisements and media. Someone nudges or shoves shoulder and keeps on walking. I see it's the back of Jamie walking away she kind of looked back at me for a second and kept walking. Well that was rude! Reminds me of Highschool, when people didn't like you, They'd "accidentally" shoulder shove you from behind.


      Me and 3 other people are chasing a demon at night. It's short, pale, and has gremlin ears. We corner it in a car wrecker place. It vanishes and I see it's latent image down various rows. "It's slowing time." I tell everyone, "It's playing out every possible scenario we can throw at it." My memory fades after.


      I'm walking outside a bar in a small town. Street reminds me of the Didsbury bar stretch with two bars on opposite sides. I'm on the JD's side Jamie is standing outside by the door, and walking past nervously. Some other girl standing outside starts talking trash to me. I can't remember what she says. Jamie grabs me and pulls me close and tells the girl. "Robert is the sweetest, most patient and caring man I've ever known." the shock of hearing this wakes me up. If Jamie ever gave me a compliment like that IRL... I would die!

      Last night

      big house

      False awakening, I'm in a large house and have to pee. There are various rooms and people all over. I can't find a bathroom so I go downstairs. I wake up for real of course.


      I'm sleeping in the same bed as Jamie, she is sitting up and I am lying down. She says to me, "Slip it on." Okay. Isn't it more like ,"Roll it on."? I woke up there.

      Jamie's question

      I see Jamie in the familiar black space, she is staring seriously at me and asks, "Are you having a relationship with me in your head?"

      I don't even begin to know how to answer that. but I will try as truthfully as I can. If she means by in my head as in dreams? Thats already been stated. If she means by talking to a voice in my head that sounds like Jamie. Short answer: For the past two months or so, Yes. That's what her voice in my head has stated. I'll ask her voice, "But this is crazy! If I see and talk to Jamie IRL, am I to talk about this?" To which she will answer, "We are to discuss everything.". This is why i'd really like Jamie to talk to me, to get clarification. If I should be seeing a psychiatrist, I'd really like to know. I'd like to get past this stuff, with or without her. Do I believe it's really Jamie? I don't know. I've been stuck with this voice for the past several years. I've tried to pray it away so many times among other things. After a certain amount of time, It's now just a thing that is a part of my current existence that I live with. If one is to do a google search on: Hearing my twin flame's voice in my head. It will lead you to loads of Quora articles where people do indeed experience this phenomena. some of them confirming with their partners that: Yes both of them will experience something like a telepathic conversation in one another's heads. Now, what I want to know is why is Jamie asking this? One possibility is that: She reads my dreams journal and reads dream her is talking and acting like we are in a relationship, she's also read that I hear a voice like her in her head, She puts two and two together and decides to use dreams to ask me this question. or, She's asking because She experiences it too. So I could equally ask her the same question. In any case I would like this to be resolved soon because this is becoming a complicated mess. I will still try to be patient tho.
    9. Night of Saturday 3/2/24

      by , 03-04-2024 at 02:37 AM (Dreamlog)
      I'm in my local downtown area, inside a restaurant. It looks like an Oregano's Pizza.
      I'm looking out the front door. I see my girlfriend with another guy. His hair looks big.
      I remember (within the story of the dream) that me and girlfriend had recently agreed to "take a break."
      The pain of seeing her with somebody else is immense. It feels like the real thing.
      I'm in a hallway that looks like one from my highschool. My girlfriend is there.
      I tell her I want to get back together, and she agrees. Happy embrace.
      I'm with her at a hotel pool. We are doing naughty things.

      Updated 03-04-2024 at 02:53 AM by 99808

      non-lucid , nightmare
    10. Training Psychological Fortitude With a Demon

      by , 02-12-2024 at 10:52 PM
      Disclaimer: This dream journal is about sleep paralysis/demon encounters. I want to clarify that sleep paralysis and intense nightmares like mine aren't normal, nothing about this is normal. I don't recommend that anyone attempt to do this. I've been dealing with SP and demon encounters for over 20 years. It's not something to take lightly or recommend, this is just my own very personal dream life that I'm sharing.

      I also want to point out that there's a lot of misinformation in the LD community about LDs causing sleep paralysis, despite how useful LDs are at combatting SP. lucid dreaming didn't cause my SP. Rather, lucidity is the way I've learned how to get out of SP/nightmares and this dream shows how.


      As I fell asleep consciously, I felt a demon's claws sinking into my back. Its nails brought an uncanny electrical sensation through my spine, as if a poison was being injected into my spinal cord directly, shooting straight through my nervous system to the rest of my body. This caused waves of pain with occassionally intense spikes, growing more and more intense by the moment. It was dreadful.

      The demon was standing behind me (I normally sleep on my side). I don't know if I was paralyzed because I didn't try to move. My goal was to combat this mentally through calm meditation, not physical struggling.

      I already know how to break SP with physical movement, and that's not what I wanted to do here. This was a planned encounter. I invited a demon to induce SP.

      "This is fine. Keep going." I thought in my mind, wanting the demon to continue as I practiced my mental fortitude to combat the feeling, mentally wrestling with it and pushing it out of my mind. It was overwhelming, but I kept going.

      The demon cranked the pain up a tenfold. I started getting severe spikes of pain going through my nervous system every few seconds, increasing in frequency. I stayed calm and still didn't react despite the pain.

      I've been inviting this demon to come visit me in my sleep for a few weeks now. Why? Because I'm stagnating, I've exhausted my the resources of my personal dreamwork and I can't figure out how to push myself any other way... I need to grow, I have to keep going. My life is a mess right now and I'm desperate to become stronger so I can deal with it.

      The demon stopped after a while, since it wasn't breaking me. I felt its energy fade, and I too was fading into a dreamed version of my bedroom. The color of the walls, lighting, and layout of the house slowly changed in the emergence of the dreamscape. I was still technically my house, just an altered version of it.

      I felt an uneasy presence in the room and knew the demon was still standing somewhere nearbby watching me, invisible and waiting.

      I decided to walk out into the livingroom. This part I'm not going to share because it's too personal, but one of my insecurities manifested in the next dream scene of loved ones yelling at me, and it quickly snowballed. My calm demeanor slipped as I felt my mind spiral out of control from the insecurities. I was upset. In that moment of clouded thinking, I actually lost my lucidity.

      This was not normal. It's rare for me to lose lucidity when I'm upset. This went on for a few minutes before I regained my lucidity. Being upset normally triggers lucidity for me, so I got it back pretty quickly.

      I felt the demon laughing at me, though, and realized it did that on purpose. Impressive, I thought, but I was still freaked out. I realized that this demon had found one of my weakness. It couldn't get me with sleep paralysis and pain, so it had (successfully) targeted a psychological weakness instead.

      Challenge accepted.

      I quickly walked into another room, intending to change the dream scene to get myself out of that negative emotional state. If I could calm down, I could regain control and prevent the demon from weakening me any further.
      This was kind of thrilling, I have to admit. I like playing these mental games, and learning from my mistakes.

      I suddenly woke up for seemingly no reason, which is unusual for me. I typically always have a reason for waking up, whether because of an alarm, the natural end of a dream, a nightmare, or my own intention to awake... I don't just 'randomly' wake up from my dreams.

      So I sat up in bed, unaware that this was a false awakening, which is AGAIN unusual for me. I haven't fallen for an FA in a while, yet this time, I really thought I was awake.

      Now nonlucid dreaming, I walked back out into the livingroom and ANOTHER one of my insecurities manifested. Some of my personal embarrassing text messages were revealed to people I didn't want to share them with! Thinking it was really happening, I was mortified. But then I became lucid again (since negative emotions normally trigger lucidity for me) and was incredibly relieved that this embarrassing moment wasn't actually happening.

      The demon was laughing at me pretty hard though. I knew it had tricked me into having an FA and being nonlucid.
      I suddenly woke up again. The demon was trying it's trick a second time.
      "No. Not this time~" I told myself, laughing maniacally.
      Fooled me once, shame on me...

      I was kind of unsure though, so I did a reality check and it failed. My hands were solid.
      Whatever. I don't trust reality checks anyway, so I wasn't nonlucid just yet.
      I tried to use dream control next, going to fly upwards towards the wall. Normally my dream control works, but this failed too.

      "Huh... " I thought, starting to believe I might actually be awake...
      Reality checks and dream control can fail, though, I thought, so I still wasn't fully sold on this being waking reality. I was really thinking hard on this one.
      Could still be a dream.
      I was determined to not be tricked again and I was pretty sure that my uncertainty meant this was for sure a dream.
      What a puzzle.
      I normally ALWAYS know when I'm dreaming, so this was... really weird.
      The weirdness of it alone made me even more suspicious.

      I proceeded to have several more false awakenings, over and over again. Sometimes I knew it was a dream, and other times I wasn't sure, but I felt like the demon was flipping a light switch back and fourth repeatedly trying to break my lucidity.

      "Mother-" I cursed and laughed.

      Normally I'd be fine continuing this game, it was fun, but I knew I had to get up early in the morning and didn't want my sleep quality to be obliterated tonight (lucidity doesn't affect my sleep quality, but nightmares like this can when they go on for too long).

      So I decided I was going to end this by waking myself up.

      First, I found an alter for the demon in the dreamscape (which had offerings on it). "Thank you, that was impressive. No hard feelings~" I said to the demon as I destroyed the alter, shoving the whole thing off the table and breaking the artifacts.

      Then I woke myself up (for real). I checked the physical reality clock and realized... That whole thing only lasted an hour?!

      It felt like 4+ hours had gone by, so I was shocked. This is also unusual of for me, since I've specifically trained myself to not experience time dilation (I don't like when my time perception in dreams doesn't match waking reality).

      I reached for the protective pendant I keep on my desk (which keeps demons away, but I had intentionally taken it off before bed as an invitation). It was shoved under my photography lightbox for some reason, kind of wedged under there (not where I put it, but ok). I was going to put it on when I realized the chain was torn off.

      This was in waking reality. I searched high and low for the necklace chain. I found the chain on the floor and put my pendant on, did some other protection stuff in the room, and went back to sleep.
      Had normal dreams for the rest of the night.

      Final note: this dream happened the night before last.

      Updated 02-12-2024 at 11:19 PM by 99032

      false awakening , memorable , lucid , non-lucid , nightmare
    11. more dreams, some explanation. Yes, I am certifiable.

      by , 02-08-2024 at 11:20 PM (MoSh's DJ: The Best Dream Journal in The Universe.)
      Some people have messaged me and/or left comments asking "Who is Jamie?" I understand my journal entries must seem like the ravings of a madman, I can assure you, I consider it a possibility every single day. Jamie is someone I use to work with in 2011, We were friends (the vocal pretext we had both agreed upon- the subtext however... slightly different story). Long complicated story I'm not going into. to the layman, (Someone who is completely atheist and is a scoffer at anything spiritual, or having anything like a god in the universe, supernatural, paranormal. etc) I suffer from a bizarre form of Limerence, and "Spiritual psychosis", and Jamie is the Idealized object of this. In more spiritual terms it is also known as "Twin Flame," or "Alien Love bite", Neither term I agree with, however I have read experiences from many people that I can relate to ( I watched a long youtube of a panel of people from the ALB community and listened to a couple explain how they were having mutual or shared dreams). Scoffers will scoff, fine. I define it simply as: Seemingly paranormal facilitation and interference in human relationships. There's also a psychosis in the mix as well, BPD, Both of us have levels of such a disorder. In my case I love bomb someone who shows interest in me and when I feel they are going to abandon me, I promptly dump them or cut them out of my life, and then horrifyingly try to "Win them back,". I was not even aware of this "Cycle," until I met Jamie and analyzed our friendship years later, and reading what BPD is.

      Years after, the "Discarding" of one another. I began experiencing paranormal events all over again. Seeing annoying "Angel signs," regarding her. As well as a sudden influx of dreams about her. I have a long history on this forum being able to share dreams with people. And i Still experience this to this day, the sharing of dreams. I began to wonder if it was a possibility, that we were somehow reaching one another in dreams. Such phenomena increased with such intensity (and things jamie was doing and saying in dreams) It became such a great concern to me that I was compelled to send her a handful of messages over a period of a few months. I told her from as many angles as I could what stuff I was experiencing. Just being open and relaying messages that I had learned. After the first message, In the dreams of her, she began to first act repulsed by me in the dreams and then began to be more okay with it. And after my last long explanatory message the dream her seemed fine. I did relay in my message that this dream journal exists, and that she can read it. These dream journals have a subscribe button, (I don't get notified of subscribers) and such people get an email every time I post an entry. It's likely I gave her a link to my dream journal when we were friends in 2011, and she has been subscribed since then. Or a few years ago she did. I'm not going to speculate. But it definitely seems like she reads my dream journal and then in later dreams she will react to what I dreamed about. She has never messaged me back however, But did mark my message as, "Read." sometimes she would leave a message, "Unread" So I take it as a sign of minimal respect for my efforts. In the end she has a disorder, where various people are discarded, and most of those people will never be in touch again. so no, I am not expecting a message back, or for her to be friends again. We both have some severe emotional problems that would probably end in complete disaster, or worse, all over again, if not handled EXTREMELY carefully.

      Unfortunately, I have had to move back to the area where I met her. and it's possible I may have run into her when I first arrived here, at a convenience store. The person, had to turn around and leave the store, after their purchase and I was standing in. She didn't look me in the eye at all, seemed slightly aware that it was me. but looked really pissed or at least annoyed that I was there. I was not surprised at this reaction at all, I even expected it, given what I know about the disorder. and then a few times over a few months. she had driven by me at least once or twice and was stealing glances at me. No, I don't imagine she is stalking me. This IS a series of small towns where you are bound to run into anyone you ever known in this area at any given day.

      This journal then is for Jamie to read as she sees fit. As long as I dream about her, I will keep posting entries.


      1. Jamie, is tied to a wall in a hotel room... she is naked. and some guy is standing near her. He had glasses, hair poorly bleached with brown hair at the part.

      that's all I remember. I wake up and The voice says,, "Why was I naked?"

      2. I dream my dog is getting really angry at me because I am playing with a cat. His mouth looked really strange and scary.

      3. I was in bed with someone, But it was this other girl, from Wal-mart. She is pregnant I start kissing her and she kisses me back. A strange thought of doubt runs through my head.

      I wake up. and fall back asleep.

      Note: it seems the past few weeks, I have been unable to meet Jamie in the dreams lately just have dreams about her. We both seem to have been dreaming about people who are "Distractions". The goal: to prevent us dreaming the same dream. I will pray and/or meditate on this.
    12. Night of Wednesday 2/7/24

      by , 02-08-2024 at 05:37 PM (Dreamlog)
      Sneaky Crabs:
      I'm at a party at somebody's apartment, sitting at a desk with a laptop in front of me.
      My coworker J from the lab is here. I noticed that I'm not wearing pants and feel nervous.
      I'm at my second Arizona apartment, and there is a group crowded around the TV playing a game.
      I watch the screen for a bit. It is a dark area, with tiny crab monsters all around.
      The player needs to navigate a dark pathway forward while avoiding the crabs.
      I brag that it looks easy. Somebody calls my bluff and hands me a strange controller.

      Something about my coworker G.

      A nightmare about shitting my pants.

      Updated 02-08-2024 at 10:51 PM by 99808

      non-lucid , nightmare , dream fragment
    13. Sleep Paralysis Subway Train

      by , 01-11-2024 at 04:55 PM
      This dream was from 3 nights ago.

      I boarded a subway with sectioned rooms big enough for one or two people. Each room was empty with just a handrail.

      I stood inside, waited for the doors to close, and felt the train move. Stood there for what felt like a few minutes, thinking it was a bit odd that my dream wasnít changing. I can normally sense the motion of my dreams and things change around me.

      Something felt off.

      Then I felt something wash over my spine (the sensation I get with SP). I noticed a presence in the room and looked up. There was something nonhuman hanging on the handrail above me. I didnít want to see it, so I blocked it from my mind with a blur effect as soon as I realized it was there.

      itís been a while since Iíve been scared like this, normally these don't get under my skin. I attempted to wake myself up, but did an FA into a room that looked nothing like my bedroom. I recognized it as a dream, but played along with it until I started feeling the sensation again of SP again and saw the creature coming back for more.

      Woke myself up for real that time.

      I kept accidentally DEILDing back in several times after that, though, and having waking hallucinations.

      So eventually, I got up and walked around to wake myself up enough to stop the DEILDs.

      Iím so glad this isnít common for me any more. I used to go into SP multiple times per week and the experiences were a lot worse (this wasn't too bad). Once it would start, I would get stuck in endless DEILD chains.

      The dream control skills Iíve picked up from this community make a world of difference. I didnít lose sleep or experience any panic like I used to. Pretty great improvement.
    14. CN2- milked by ailens

      by , 01-08-2024 at 07:22 PM
      [COLOR="#EE82EE"]I had woke up from some other dream I forgot, I was trying to get back to sleep for what felt like 30 minutes. I eventually found a comfortable position on my back. I was relaxed until I felt nervous for some reason.[/COLOR] I didn't try very hard to move, but I new I couldn't. For some reason I thought it must be an alien's fault. I then felt a prick in my breast, like there was a needle in it. I tried best to make my breathing look like I was asleep but I was probably failing miserably. I then remembered that sometimes people move in their sleep, so I rolled on the side it hadn't pricked yet. It managed to get the needle in my other breast, so I decided to open my eyes just a crack to see what it was doing, a black hand moved the syringe to my 4th breast and the needle went in. It filled up with a white liquid I assumed was milk. I shut my eyes for a few seconds, and I no longer felt the presence. I opened my eyes and sat up. There was a dishwasher like door in my wall, so I opened it. There was a plate with my milk, and a cow made of milk foam, morbid curiosity got the better of me, and I dipped my finger in the milk and licked it. It was like cow milk but creamier with more chunks. I puled the plate out and took a mouthful of foam. It tasted like when you an armpit, but somehow good.

      [COLOR="#EE82EE"]I'm sorry if you read that,
      anyways, I did a medium meditation before bed -1
      It's a bit early in the day so ill write my rc score later - 2
      remembered a full nld - 1
      total- 4
      comp total- 8 [/COLOR]

      Updated 01-09-2024 at 05:10 AM by 100014

      non-lucid , nightmare , memorable , side notes
    15. CN1- lowes bucket curse and flesh room

      by , 01-08-2024 at 01:34 AM
      I was doing laundry when I heard something coming from down the hall, I tried to pull the door shut, but it was too late, whatever was on the other side pushed it open. I stared at the doorway, terrified as the door slowly swung open. In the hall was a bucket, colored in Lowe's signature blue. I was pretty relived at first, but I remembered some old guy telling me that if I ever come across a bucket like that, it can't kill me unless I can't see it. I then set the bucket down so it'd always be in my peripherals. I pulled some dirty laundry out of the basket and put it in the machine. Not even one load and I was already sick of the anxiety of having to keep the bucket in my sight, so I started thinking that maybe I could make the bucket go after someone else. I grabbed it, and took it into the back yard where my father sat in his truck. He was the closest person but I really didn't want him to die, and then I realize that even if the bucket kills him it's just going to go after me again. I walked back to the door, and started absentmindedly ripping the bucket apart as if it was made of paper. I sat on the porch and my spirits fell as the pieces tumbled back and used to the piece I was still holding onto. I then walked to the tool shed, it has a few flights of stairs going into a basement, so I got an idea. I threw the bucket, and while it rolled down the stairs I slammed the door shut and locked it. I was going to begin celebrating.

      [COLOR="#EE82EE"]I rolled over and went back to sleep.[/COLOR],

      I was in a room which was best described as the inside of lord Jabu Jabu. I walked past a counter with a few hand sized beetles, and I walked up a slope, and I saw a button. I walked on it, and I suddenly turned purple and saw a HP bar rapidly draining, so I ran to the beetles. I talked to some beetles who were useless, until I saw some golden beetle who said he could cure me. I then get a view of myself in a dentist like chair with deep scratches down my face, and a second later I'm back on my feet with only a few scars. I start walking away.

      [COLOR="#EE82EE"]Did a couple good rcs today - 1
      remember 2 full nlds - 2
      3 dj comments- 1
      total- 4 [/COLOR]

      Updated 01-08-2024 at 01:40 AM by 100014

      non-lucid , nightmare , side notes
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