• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. Night of Saturday 6/3/23 (Comp Night 3)

      by , 06-04-2023 at 09:27 PM (Dreamlog)
      Before WBTB

      Russian Ride
      I'm traveling internationally and I don't speak the language where I am at. I'm getting off a train or bus looking for the airport. I see another bus leaving and I wave my arms and chase it, yelling for it to stop. It does. I try to ask the driver where the airport is and he tells me (in English) that the bus is full. It clearly isn't. I wonder if there is some law saying there must be X number of open seats. Regardless, I stay on the bus and he doesn't kick me off. I make my way to the back of the bus. It resembles the CATA bus system from back home. In the back car is a girl with one leg. Short hair, kinda "bad-girl type". She has khaki pants on, and the missing leg has it tied to cover the stump. I sit next to her and ask for help. She's friendly.

      Some time later we are back at her apartment. It's a big studio, kinda messy with paint and art all over the place. I realize that I'm a girl, and that she may be gay. I get the impression she might have been coming onto me.

      Later I'm running from Russian agents. I'm running through an apartment complex, entering and leaving through doors/windows. I'm really high up. When I go outside I'm sidling on just-big-enough edges to not fall. I don't know why they are chasing me. I eventually make my way down from the tall complex and make it to the ground but I haven't shook them.

      I'm in a down-town Chinatown type area at night. There is a big crowd of people and I'm trying to use them to escape from the Russian agents. I'm at a bar with two floors open to the outside. There are some TVs running with couches set in front of them. There are some dark corners I can hide in. I try out a few and crouch down, but I decide that none of them are good enough and keep moving. Then I stand up face-to-face with one of the agents. He looks like Dr. Brenner from Stranger Things.

      Running again. This time it was short. I ended up in a stone building on a grassy hill, hiding underground. But they've just found me. There is the leader (Dr. Brenner) and two thug-types. They are going to torture me for information. I tell them I've only killed one time, and I wasn't sure if it was me or my uncle who pulled them trigger. I guess I was trying to intimidate them. It doesn't work. They casually talk to me about something and then without warning Dr. Brenner shoots my right ear off with a pistol.

      I cry out in pain (S hears me and tries to shake me awake). It doesn't hurt as much as I expected it would. They tell me that they will shoot off the other ear if I don't comply.


      I wake up and tell S I am OK.

      After WBTB


      W Aged Up
      I'm at my Grandma P's house in the bedroom sleeping on the bed. I've slept in later than everybody else. I roll over and see some old drawings I made in my childhood on the wall. My grandma will have decided to have kept them. They are hyper realistic and drawn in pencil. Somehow, they are holographic. I think to myself that maybe I should get back into art.

      W, my brother's son who is due in September, bursts into the room with his friend, Ian. He's four years old. I can't tell who is who and I feel bad about it. But now I know it is because W isn't born yet. One of them has buck teeth. I follow them around the house and then one kid is missing. I find W/Ian eating dish cleaning tablets under sink. Standard kid behavior I guess


      Lucid Fragment
      I'm in a large mall, reminiscent of one from an old marching band trip from high school. I do a nose reality check and realize I'm dreaming. I double take...crap! I was dreaming that whole time before with W! I think to myself that step one is to find my DG...but my lucidity slips and I wander off.

      Conditions
      Medium workout early in day
      Big dinner
      2 drinks of alcohol
      Stayed up late
      6hr/30m WBTB
      Yuschak Primary Trigger (8Mg Galantamine, 250Mg Choline Bitartrate)

      Notes
      My theory on what happened here...sleep cycle issues. Instead of jumping into the same sleep cycle I was just in, I jumped into the beginning of a later one. I stayed up until about 2:30am playing Zelda and then set an alarm for 8:30am...so about 6 hours after sleep. I know that 5h45m has been a good target for me, so I was experimenting with a larger time to test and see if it can be improved. One problem though is that I didn't have an established wake-sleep rhythm. Plus, I stayed up longer than the typical 15m during the WBTB. I planned slightly longer at 20m but it was more like 30m. I don't think the alcohol will have mattered much because of the later timing, but it could have played a part. Lesson learned: Next time, have an established sleep rhythm. Gonna say data inconclusive about 6h/20m WBTB setup.

      Updated 06-05-2023 at 04:06 AM by 99808

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid , nightmare , false awakening , memorable , dream fragment , side notes
    2. Something Moved the CPAP Machine

      by , 05-15-2023 at 08:23 AM
      Type: Regular dream.
      Lucidity: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
      Vividness: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

      Notes:
      This was another false awakening, and unlike the previous entry, this was an actual nightmare. It was pretty in-tune with how my nightmares usually go. I'm wondering if I had this nightmare because I fell asleep with a polyester blanket on top of my head and became too hot, as overheating has historically resulted in nightmares for me. I've remembered details from a few other dreams this week, but they're quite minimal so I won't even record them as fragments. Hopefully my recall improves some more.
      I woke up in bed, and the room was dark. I sensed that it was the middle of the night. I was initially lying on my stomach, but I pulled myself upright into a sitting position, criss-crossing my legs in front of me on the bed. I generally don't hang my legs over the side of the bed in real life, and I didn't want to do it here, either. There wasn't much to see, but I could feel the bed underneath me, and I knew I was wearing a CPAP mask on my face. However, unlike in real life, I couldn't feel the mask on my face. I just "knew" it was there. This didn't strike me as odd.

      As I breathed normally, I heard the quiet inhalation and exhalation noise from the CPAP hose. The noise itself seemed normal, but it seemed a bit out of sync with my breathing. The placement was also wrong. It was supposed to be coming from my nightstand area, next to my pillow, because that was where my CPAP machine was located in real life. But in the dream, the noise was coming from further down the the bed, near the foot of it, which implied the machine had somehow been moved onto the floor there. I vaguely wondered how the machine got there, but there was no accompanying fear or trepidation, or curiosity enough to find the source. I wasn't bothered about the reason. I just wanted to put it back where it was supposed to be.

      I shimmied over until I was sitting closer to the foot of the bed. In the dream, I believed if I could simply find the hose and move it back, I could move the whole machine back to its proper place too without ever picking it up. I wasn't thinking logically either - I didn't realize that if I wanted to find the hose, which was connected to my mask, I could've just felt my mask on my face and gone from there. Oh well. It was still dark and I couldn't see, so I knew I had to feel around for the hose. I reached out into the darkness next to my bed. As soon as I touched what I "knew" was the hose, I felt something grab my hand tightly. I heard an inaudible yet somehow loud scream, and I knew I was about to die. There was a brief sensation of what I could only describe as the frightened, resigned knowledge that I would be pulled into an eternal purgatory of murky shapes and presences underneath my bed.

      Updated 05-15-2023 at 11:02 PM by 28408

      Categories
      non-lucid , nightmare , false awakening
    3. False awakenings, lucidity, blindness, and physicality

      by , 05-03-2023 at 02:28 PM

      Notes
      • Sleep quality: Poor, difficulty getting comfortable and falling asleep
      • Sleep time(s): about 11:00PM to 3:45AM, then about 5:30AM or 6:00AM to 7:00AM
      • Before bed activity: Small workout followed by reading some of //Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming//
      • Goals or intentions: Was more tired than I thought and yet again fell asleep without fully focusing! Maybe I should try meditating sitting up before bed instead.


      Driving fragment
      • Awakening time: 3:45AM
      • Level of detail: #fragment
      • Lucidity: #nonlucid
      • General mood: unsure


      I have some memory of being in a waterfront park with a woman. There were stone terraces and stairs. It had a similar vibe to Battery Park though it was not the same. I also have the feeling that the dream before this was very strange, but I can't catch the memories.

      I left in a car with a group of people, driving down a highway similar to one by my house. The whole landscape was very brown and wintry. We came to an exit with many choices, at least five. The most convenient one to get home was blocked off because they built a new car dealership in like the middle of the road, I remembered hearing my dad ranting about that. So we turned down a less convenient choice.

      By the time we got back to our neighborhood it was dark. The short trees on the side of the road were all in bloom. We drove on a street with stop signs every block. At each stop sign, more cars would turn onto the street in front of us. We finally turned left onto "our" street. (Both of these streets had a similar "vibe" to the neighborhood I grew up in, but were different. It was not my real neighborhood). It was lined with row homes. "Our" house number looked like letters spelling out a word that changed when I looked back and forth.*

      False awakenings, partial lucidity, and the void
      • Awakening time: 7:00AM
      • Before the dream: Was uncomfortable when I woke up and decided to read a bit more. Was interested in one idea from MILD, trying to make sure something is your last thought before going to sleep. Apparently, this method does not work for me because trying to focus my final thought (how do you even find that, really?) ended up making me more awake. Short conversation with A. Decided to close the window-shades after I realized I had been awake for an hour or more, since the sunrise was starting.** The remote wasn't working and I was kind of fumbling around trying to be quiet.
      • Level of detail: #detailed
      • Lucidity: #partiallucid
      • General mood: fear



      Killing animals***

      There was a black bug crawling on the floor in the mud-room, and I smashed it. Then, in the dining room, I saw a little black scaly lizard. I wanted to smash it too, then stopped myself, but I was going back and forth. I think A. was there behind me and I told him "I don't really want to kill animals, but I don't like things that sneak and hide in our house." As if it seemed to me this gecko was doing something morally wrong, and now deserved to die in a way that other animals do not. He seemed confused and I realized by my own logic we shouldn't have a cat in the house either. It was upsetting and I "woke up."

      False awakening at home

      Even though the dream was unpleasant, I was mad at myself for waking up because I knew I needed sleep. But I thought I definitely wouldn't get back to sleep and may as well get up. I tried raising the blinds and the remote wasn't working again, which was frustrating, again. When I finally got them up, it was completely dark out, which struck me as kind of odd, but I thought my eyes hadn't adjusted yet. Then I opened my phone to write a note about the dream and saw the time was 9:05, and just like last time, I realized that was the wrong time and I must be dreaming.

      Then I saw a human-sized shadow in the bedroom, darting from one corner to the other (like a gecko?). Even though I knew it was a dream, I thought it would be best to get out of there. I realized A. was not with me and tried to find him so we could jump to somewhere without a creature trying to attack us in our sleep.

      Into the void

      When I tried to change the scene like this, I found myself floating in a dark void. Not pure black, but grainy black and white like visual static. I did see A. - he grabbed my arms and tried to pull me down but he couldn't, I kept floating.

      There were other characters floating there, some like "photos" and some like "drawings." I flashed through and intruded in different scenes. I flew over a Victorian dollhouse. I stood in a tent of a research team on a sunny and hot grassy plain (they were cartoons, like a children's educational film). I looked up and I was in a car in the lap of a bride in Italy, presumably on the way to her wedding. She saw me and was understandably upset.

      Partial body awareness

      Then my vision cut out entirely. Just like the last few similar hallucinations, I was completely blind. Still, I knew it was a dream, but I couldn't make myself see anything other than dark space. It was purely tactile and I could feel a person/entity lifting me.

      We were floating again, trying to focus but it was hard. There was loud music playing and it was very annoying - again, not any music that I enjoy, like pop music.**** He said something like, "she shows you fear."

      Even though I couldn't see anything in the dream, I felt partially aware of my actual body, I had the sense that I was in my bed.

      Then I felt my ankles against my feet. I'd fallen asleep with my feet crossed, but they weren't crossed in the dream. So it was this very weird sensations where I felt like an extra foot on the outside of each foot. It got very uncomfortable with my bones digging into each other, and I managed to uncross my legs in my actual body. I think this movement woke me up a bit and changed the scene.

      False awakening elsewhere

      I woke up in an unfamiliar house, in a finished attic with pale cool-colored walls and off-white wall-to-wall carpeting. The rooms of the attic all had glass panels in the walls separating them.

      It was apparently the H. family's new house, and they were having a party. I had fallen asleep on a couch in the attic, in a room with a TV. Two of the sons were coming in to play a video game. L. came up to get me to join the party, but I realized I hadn't written down my dream yet, which I felt was very important. There was loud music and people talking loudly at the party, and I got extremely frustrated because I couldn't concentrate. Upset, I told L. I would be down in just 20 minutes ("but it would only take me 5 minutes if I could just find some quiet!").

      I did find a room that seemed a bit quieter - tiny exercise room with a rowing machine and weights. I sat down on the rowing machine seat and opened my laptop to write in my dream journal and then I woke up.

      Side Notes
      *This might have been a good dreamsign... but it was the end of the dream anyway.

      **Kind of regret this. Waking up in the dark when I knew it was morning was not a pleasant feeling. (We use the window-shades for privacy at night when we're awake but leave them up when sleeping. I like getting woken up gradually with the sunrise.)

      ***Pretty sure this came from me absent-mindedly crushing an ant in the house earlier. I think ants are really cool. And usually I bring bugs outside instead of killing them, but sometimes in the moment I react by smashing and then I feel bad about it.

      ****My theory when this happens, is it's probably music that I heard "subconsciously" and tried to tune out. I've always had a hard time with music, I have to pay attention to it even when I dislike it. So these songs that I don't recognize or like are probably ones I heard the neighbors blasting in parties, in coffee shops when trying to work, in the store, etc.

      Overall, this dream was upsetting. I think I let my expectations and fears influence me too much, but I have to find the way to work on that productively. It's also funny that yesterday A. actually recognized what I thought was a fake astrological symbol from my dream the other night (cauda draconis, the south lunar node). In my birth chart it appears in Taurus (and the one star name that I remembered from the dream is a star in Taurus). The quick pop-astrology interpretation is that I must work to let go of materialism/relying on physical comforts. Which I think ties into my efforts and my difficulty with "leaving" my body.

      Also it's funny that so far I've twice unintentionally become lucid directly because of dream journaling!
    4. Murder story and a powerless lucid dream

      by , 04-30-2023 at 03:56 PM

      I started using a local app to write my DJ entries so I'm changing the format a bit Also I'm chilling on the tags for now because these are pretty long. I started a spreadsheet to catalog dream signs and I'll be focusing on that instead rather than choosing stuff to tag. Maybe in a few weeks I'll look back for patterns to make better tags.

      Notes
      • Sleep quality: Uncomfortable, hot at points, had bit of headache on awakening, pain in my hips and back
      • Sleep time(s): 12:00AM - 5:00AM, then (est.) 6:00AM-8:00AM
      • Before bed activity: Watched murder mystery show, then worked on this dream journal/dreamsigns catalog


      Art & Hanging
      Awakening time: 5:00AM
      Level of detail: #detailed
      Lucidity: #nonlucid
      General mood: uneasy, then happy, then detached but slightly sad, calm

      This one is long, so I'm breaking it into sections.

      Exhibition: Music and Material
      I was in a hallway - one that looked like a school building (that is, the lighting, flooring, and so on were institutional not fancy). There was an exhibition on view, all clothing made of different strange materials, each corresponding to a different musical interval, starting from unison and up to octave. The things were made of wood, plastic, glass and so on, according to a system that I don't remember now. There was some pretentious guy explaining the background of the exhibition but I tuned him out.

      On one side of the hall there were three small children's body suits made of glass. This was about in the middle of the exhibition.

      On the other side of the hall I remember other children's costumes. These were made from gray fur, and I heard they were made from cast-off dog organs from surgery, and they would allow the children to turn into dogs. This one was closer to the end of the exhibition.

      Birthday Party
      When I got to the end of the hall, some of mom's family was there. It was a birthday party for my grandmother, and I went into a kitchen to make coffee and get a knife to slice the cake.

      When I came back into the room, my grandmother was just eating the icing out of the cake, sticking her fingers into the icing and licking them.* X. was sitting next to her and laughing, and her joined her in eating the icing. I was happy to see them both.

      Highway on the Cliffs
      Mom and I left, driving along a narrow two-lane one-way highway through the mountains. People were driving very fast and tailgating. It got worse when a police car tried to get through, and people were blocking it. There was one guy in a sports car in particular that seemed to be goading us on. I was scared and told mom not to drive so fast, that it wasn't worth it. She didn't listen, and she drove off the edge of the road on a cliff where there was no guard wall.

      I was clinging onto the edge of the cliff. My vision blurred and I left my body. From this point on, I felt detached from the dream. My awareness moved between different changing characters. While I wasn't lucid, I was aware I was "watching" rather than participating and couldn't be harmed.

      Hostages
      "I" regained consciousness at an outdoor table at a fancy house. "Mom" was there. I put our names in quotes because we were no longer ourselves and we changed throughout the dream.

      This house was a kind of commune (or villain's headquarters) and the people who lived there were sitting across from us at the table. I saw each of their heads framed in sequence: there was a chic older woman, a creepy older man with long white hair who spoke in a high voice, a skinny grandpa-like** old man in a plaid shirt, and a younger woman who was a sculpture artist with a pretty large following (she turned out to be the ringleader of the operation). It seemed they'd picked us up after the crash and were holding us hostage.

      They were talking, but their voices were unintelligible. Mom turned to me to ask about it, and I told her "no, they're supposed to be unintelligible, it's okay." She responded, "oh right, because we got head injuries in the crash," and I agreed. So it was like we were watching a movie and acting in it.

      They brought us to a room that was like a kitchen on the side of a large gymnasium. From this point on, my mom wasn't there anymore. Instead, I was a different girl and I was there with my sister.

      The skinny grandpa-like man had been really mean to us. There was a cat around the place, and he kept picking it up even though it hated him. It got its claws stuck in his arm as it tried to run away, and he dropped it in the kitchen sink. He wouldn't let my sister touch the cat.

      My sister got into a fight with him. He acted innocent, asking where it was coming from, and she named all the awful things he did, including to the cat. The fight got physical, I jumped in and we beat him until he was covered in blood. But he was stronger than we expected from looking at him.

      In the gym, near a basketball hoop, there's a "bungee jumping pit". It's a very narrow dark hole that goes deep into the ground. I never actually look into the hole.

      My sister hangs the old man in the pit with a noose. But he's still not dead. Here's our plan to finish him off. She wraps a bungee cord (like the kind you have in your trunk for packing) around her neck many times. I will hook it onto the basketball hoop and then she will be able to bounce up and down and beat him with great enough force to kill him.

      "I" say something about how last time, our lives depended on me tying this noose. I have a flashback to "myself" measuring out rope to tie. It was a strange way, I was curling the end of the rope over by a little bit, and my sister was looking over my shoulder telling me the less slack the better. At that time, we were successful in escaping.

      But then in the "present," the sister moves and I see behind her the artist woman. The other woman kills my sister and hangs her in the narrow hole.

      Epilogue
      Next the girl I was playing is looking at a phone screen. The artist his the story of the murder in a piece that she shared publicly. It starts with the hole and the gym, zooming out. As it zooms out, you can see that it was all super tiny, on a grain of rice or salt in a kitchen. It keeps zooming and you can see that the kitchen itself is also very tiny and hidden in something else, and so on and so on. I hate the artist but I'm grudgingly impressed that she could sculpt things that small.

      I'm now a different person, visiting this girl in the home she moved to after the tragedy. I feel sad for her. I sit on a stool while she stands up on her bed looking at the video.

      It's a small one-room house with navy blue walls. There's a little stove or fireplace, and there are books laying on low shelves and tables. There are windows almost all the way around the place, except for half of the wall to my left. The bed where she stands (with navy blue sheets) is to my right. I get the sense that it's a one-floor house. However, to my left out a window it seems we are high above the street in a small and desolate town - I see a little shoebox-like diner far below.

      It's dark outside and she has no lights on. I move clockwise around the house, closing the blinds so we can turn on the lights. She's singing as she looks at the video, and I sing along as I move around the walls.

      I tell her this is a really nice house. I was going to say something about how the windows made me nervous for privacy, but I changed it to end on a positive note about how much light they let in - I didnt' want to bring up past trauma for her. She thanked me, saying that she forgets how nice the place is, but it really is.

      The artist-murderer was really into fairies so the girl had a big NO FAIRIES sign over her fireplace. I suggested we should lift our spirits with Impaled Nazarene, because they had an anti-fairy song.***

      She was telling a story about working in a school as a secretary, and her boyfriend was at work with her. Sometimes male student aggression would trigger her PTSD, and it seemed to me like her boyfriend wasn't supportive of her in those situations. I woke up as we were talking, it was a calm ending.

      Post Office Fragment

      Awakening time: unknown
      Before the dream: I was glad to have remembered so much detail from my last dream, but wasn't sure I would be able to go back to sleep. Difficulty getting comfortable or focusing on intentions.
      Level of detail: #fragment
      Lucidity: #nonlucid
      General mood: panic!

      I was at the post office in my hometown (but not the real post office) and somehow got a receipt without actually dropping off my package. I think I told the lady what I was mailing and showed a picture of the tracking number on my phone, and she said I could just bring the real thing in later. But then when I left I realized the sun was setting over the main street, it was 8:30PM, and there was no way I would be able to get to the post office that day with the package before they closed. At first I thought I would risk mailing it the next day, but it was a custom-made doll, and I was sure they wouldn't accept a package that was marked as mailed the day before. I was so distressed that I woke up.****

      Powerless Lucid Dream: Carnival

      Awakening time: 8:00AM
      Before the dream: After the post office, I was even less optimistic about falling asleep again, and Masha was kind of pestering me. Like, when I tried to get comfortable under the covers she started pouncing on my hand moving.
      Level of detail: #detailed
      Lucidity: #lucid
      General mood: wonder, confusion, and distress - I was lucid but couldn't detach myself from the dream to take any control.

      Entering the dream
      In bed, I felt my legs moving back and forth violently, floating upward, like I was being pulled. It was a powerful feeling, mostly in my legs, but I also felt hands on my back and neck, like a massage. I moved my arms too. It was like the other time, but much more powerful since I was more resolved to let it go on.

      When I moved my arms, I was trying to get hold of what was lifting me. I thought if I was dreaming, I would be able to feel something. I was also trying to see. I thought if I was dreaming, I would be able to see images. I could hold nothing and I could see nothing but black darkness.

      I was scared, but not so much of whatever was lifting me. I was scared of being woken up. I heard the cat come onto the bed, then my mom come into my room. I told mom I was still sleeping and to leave. My tongue was so dry I could barely talk - this continued throughout the dream. It took a while to convince her, but she left.

      In between, there was a false awakening, where I was in a strange bed near a windowsill. I picked up a smart phone and it flashed through pictures of different faces, some familiar and some not.

      After mom left, she started playing loud music. It was modern r&b and very annoying. Because it was so loud, I figured I'd definitely not be able to sleep again, so I decided to get up and write in my dream journal. When I looked at the clock, it was 3:55AM. I was about to start my journal entry with "Somehow I woke up earlier than my last entry"... and that's when it dawned on me that it was because I was dreaming.

      Through the house to the carnival
      After realizing it was a dream, I got up and went out into the hall. The house gradually transformed from my house: the bedrooms were kind of normal, then by the time you reach the living room it's completely different. The living room was like a camp cabin, with log walls and a fireplace.

      X., some of his friends, and dad are up early, packing to go to a baseball game. It's a local team called something like the [insert my county name here] Endfielders. X. says they're going because "we're close to the border." I find the stereo in the other bedroom, and ask if they can turn it off. He says no, and I can't stop the music with my thoughts either.

      I try getting A. by reaching for him, but it doesn't work. My idea is that he can help me because I'm having such trouble talking. So I run outside. Everything outside is so vivid. It's a bright gray morning, and the contrast with the sky makes red autumn leaves on the trees glow. We're in the middle of the woods. I run out onto a round deck with a rustic wood table, then down spiraling wooden stairs to the ground, which is covered in brown leaves or pine needles.

      The music has changed, but it's still pretty loud. There's a kind of carnival going on down there. I overhear announcers and conversations in Russian (the rest of the dream was in English), but I don't stop to check it out, mainly because of my problems talking.

      Into the snow
      I go on a path through the brown/red woods into a new scene. It's night here and the sky is deep blue. Orange fires glow on the snowy ground. This place is also crowded, with happy people sitting on top of big snowballs. There are creatures pulling people along on some of the snowballs, but I don't get a good look at them. I mainly want to find Andreas because I'm having such trouble speaking, and I also want to ask him about the leg thing.

      There are two friendly-looking women on top of a snowball. I ask them if they've seen A., trying to describe him. I gesture to his height. They ask if he has dark hair. I think, and in this lighting I decide that it would look dark brown. Then I tell them "Swedish" and one seems to think she recognizes him. She says he was going to the Man with the Golden Tongue in the building behind me. Before he left she asked him if he was looking for his daughter and he said something like "no daughter can really be two."

      I go into the building. It has a small cabin-like anteroom, which is also packed with people. Then there is a flourescent lit lecture hall with a sleepy volunteer sitting at the door collecting admission. The one thing I was able to do in the dream was make things appear in my pockets, but both times it was tattered and old things. So I "found" a beat-up five dollar bill in my pocket to give to the volunteer, who barely noticed me anyway.

      Then I "found" a tattered antique photo of A. in my pocket, but it wasn't really him, I still thought I could use it to show the man who I was looking for. I saw the man I was looking for in a back row of the hall, off the stage, talking to lecture attendees. I couldn't figure out if the lecture was over, hadn't happened yet, or if this was part of it. As a result, I wasn't sure when I could approach him. I woke up before I could talk to him.

      Side Notes
      *This is a mixup from an actual memory with my other grandmother. The grandmother in the dream has Alzheimer's so I had been thinking she'd be my first choice for a person to see or talk to in a dream.

      **Not like my actual grandfather at all, I'm just referring to the genre of person. Like he seemed like a down-homey kind of guy in comparison to the other more strange people.

      ***Clearly they don't, but maybe I was thinking of "Foucault Pendulum" from their last album? Anyway this is also a clear indicator I was dreaming, I would never just suggest a general person listen to Impaled Nazarene for fear they'd think I'm a maniac.

      ****In retrospect this was hilarious. I'm having dreams about car crashes and murder, but the one that wakes me up is my fear of postal workers.

      This was past the sunrise, it wasn't truly dark in my room.

      When I woke up, I didn't feel particularly dry or thirsty. I wonder what this was from - paralysis?

      I don't listen to or enjoy this sort of music so I guess it must be something in my subconscious from a public place.

      I guess this is the sequence: it starts, and my brain keeps throwing out tests to scare me into wakefulness. Maybe I just have to resolve to wait it out? When I woke up, I was in the position I fell asleep, laying facedown, so I know now that I don't actually move at all during this. This should be helpful for next time, hopefully I can remember that I won't be disturbing anyone truly with my tossing and turning.

      Updated 04-30-2023 at 03:57 PM by 99967 (accidentally copied one wrong section title)

      Categories
      non-lucid , nightmare , false awakening , memorable , dream fragment , side notes , lucid
    5. Many Houses: Nightmares, Lucidity, and a Pleasant Visit

      by , 04-29-2023 at 04:23 PM

      Notes
      • Took naproxen sodium before bed
      • Not the most comfortable sleep (cramps, body temperature changes, etc.) but felt well-rested after waking up the last time. Approx. 11PM-12:30AM then 12:45-5:30 then 6 to some indeterminate time, then to 8:30.
      • Read some of Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming before going to sleep


      Shifting House Fragment
      I was passing through a house with many rooms whose floor plan seems to keep shifting.* I was with someone else, and this person (not me) was dreaming and changing the house. We just kept going forward, through doors and never back the way we came. Some things I remember: a fairly large bathroom with a bubble bath, a tea table on a patio on top of a hill surrounded by high trees. It wasn't scary, but I felt a bit of trepidation.

      Into a Nightmare?
      In another house, both inside and outside, like a driveway and a room at once.* Somebody was watching us and leaving clues inside the house to mess with us. At one point I was there with mom and R., but I lost track of them and just wanted to get out of there. I was going to drive away.

      In this part, I got a sense that the world was "mirrored" and I was "naked." Neither of these things were literally true, but that's the word I remembered to describe the feeling.

      First Awakening - 12:30
      When I woke up, I was really hot and uncomfortable. My cat was like a mini-furnace on my legs. At first I didn't want to remember the dream because it was unpleasant, then I remembered I should be trying to recall as much as possible, so I made some effort and wrote it. But that's probably why my memories are so fragmented.

      Linear Algebra and Toast
      I was applying for a job as a linear algebra tutor and as part of the process was shadowing another tutor's group session. A big part of these sessions was making toast for the students. At first, the tutor I was watching took us into a room with a ton of ovens. There was some certain way she arranged two wire toasting trays, in an X, so they would fit in the oven standing up.

      We went into another room with a big oval table, and a sideboard with toast on it.

      I was kind of nervous because the students all wanted to know about QR factorizations and I couldn't remember much about them. It was like, of all the topics, they chose the one I know the least to ask about. So I was pretending to know what I was doing, hoping I could still get the job.

      Then it was my turn to make toast, but I couldn't use the big oven room. There was only a small toaster that would take one or maybe two slices, certainly not enough for the group. Then suddenly dad was there suggesting that I should just use the microwave to make the toast because it would fit more bread, and I was horrified at the idea.

      Second Awakening - 5:30
      When I woke up at this point, I wasn't optimistic about falling back asleep, but I was glad that I remembered at least some of my dreams. I didn't move and probably did fall back asleep about half an hour later. I get the sense I started dreaming almost immediately after falling asleep, still holding onto a bit of consciousness.

      Lucid In-Between
      I was traveling through a countryside and came to a street fair in an Old-West-style town. There was a huge plaza with booths set up. The ground was pale tan/white and the buildings were all low and made of weathered wood.

      I looked up at the sky. It was at the same time pale and very brilliant blue - not a real color. At this point I realized I must be dreaming, and I began to float upwards. It was an idle impulse, like if I'm dreaming I could just float up into the weird sky.**

      The floating felt like me waking up, but I wanted to try and stay in the dream longer. I remembered reading about keeping yourself in the dream by impressing it on your senses, so I started touching as many things as I could reach. There was a wood table or palette with bags of chips for sale at the fair and I touched all the crinkly bags and the splintery wood, and the ground. But my legs were still floating in the air.

      So I reached behind my back for the first person I thought of, who was A. I tried to explain the situation to him and hoped he could weigh down my legs. He helped a bit but I think I got too excited or aware as I was explaining, so I woke up.

      Interlude, Unknown Time
      It's been rainy and dark today, so I can't guess what time this actually was. I thought I wrote down the previous dream when I awoke then, but evidently not - I just rehearsed what I was going to write in my head. So this is from my memories after falling asleep again, and I probably forgot some parts.

      As I started going back to sleep, I was thinking about the advice from the forum and the book, that it doesn't make sense to try for lucid dreams without good dream recall first. So I wasn't trying to be lucid again. Instead I was just concentrating on paying more attention to the dream.

      Pedestrian Dangers
      I was walking home alone through town, and trying to cross Fifth Street at the usual place. But there was a ridiculous amount of cars going even faster than usual, and they just kept coming. I was cursing them out (does it count as road rage when you're not in a car?) and one blonde lady in an SUV saw me, stopped, and waved for me to cross. But the traffic from the other direction just kept coming so after a minute she just kept driving too.

      A Visit in the Mountains
      I was going to visit a wealthy Taiwanese family at their house in a mountainous area of California. I was with a group of people - some from the past, some current friends, others who might not be real people at all. I was with A. most of the time and while I remember us talking at the house, I don't remember anything specific. He seemed taller than he really is, or he was changing heights (I don't think I was shorter).

      The family lived in a huge house in a minimalist style - sleek concrete, lots of pale gray and tan. There were many flights of stairs, and I remember something about jumping or sliding up and down them. We sat in a bright living room with a very high ceiling and a skylight - under the skylight they had a very tall and thin fake Christmas tree, and I talked with the mother about it.

      In our group there was a middle-aged couple. It was the woman's second marriage, and she told us a story about it. The story was "illustrated" - I could see her memories in photos and cartoons.

      The Woman's Story
      She began by talking about their son Loomis (some name like that) and how proud they were of him. I saw them in their apartment,*** the parents were watching him as he was in some business meeting online. He was a young man successful in his first real job. She described her husband and herself as his "secretaries." It was clear that he wasn't both of their son, because they were both dark, and he had very pale sandy hair.

      She then talked about how she met her second husband. There were many coincidences or synchronicities (I forget the exact word she used) around important dates and memories, that convinced her they were meant to be together. When she decided to marry him and move in with her son, she texted her ex-husband to let him know and partially to ask for approval. She told him about the coincidences and her reasoning. He didn't care, and just asking "so you're bringing MY son to this man?" This made her angry because he was treating Loomis like his property. She and her new husband were also scared that the ex would call the police on them.**** They lived in Atlanta, and evidently the Atlanta police had a bad reputation for dealing with these kinds of cases. But, it all worked out in the end - or she got interrupted in her story.

      Back to the House and Garage
      When our visit was over, we left through the kitchen. The kitchen was darker than the living room, and two of its walls were screens instead of normal walls. We went out and down a flight of outdoor stairs. When we got to the bottom I realized I was holding my own water bottle as well as one of the family's glasses with water in it. At first I was just going to leave it on the ground next to the banister, then I felt bad and ran back up to the kitchen to give it to the mother. It was awkward because the screen wall cut through a kitchen table*, so when she pulled back the screen I had to lean in and reach for a long way to hand the glass back to her. I remember the feeling of my arm stretching out and the table digging into my ribs.

      Everyone was heading toward the parking garage - we had come in three separate cars. The garage was up a different flight of stairs. The concrete staircase was enclosed and lit with fluorescent lights. When I went up the stairs, A. stayed behind, but he told me the mother had told him to put on a pair of "house slippers" at the top of the stairs. (Yes, this makes absolutely no sense, we put on the slippers only after we left the house, just before going into the parking garage.) When I got to the top of the stairs, I saw the slippers in a basket, kind of strewn around. They were cheap mesh clogs and most had high heels, but I figured I needed to put them on to be polite. Most of the group was already there at the top of the staircase, and told me not to bother - I would probably get some sort of infection from wearing communal slippers, I didn't know whether the previous people had worn socks in them or not. I told them what A. had told me, but they insisted that I shouldn't wear them. Some of them had slippers, but they came from somewhere else.

      Another strange thing - when I was talking to the others, I called A. by his nickname, which I never call him. It felt strange in the dream, but I felt compelled to keep doing it.

      At the top of the stairs, one of the women talked about how her mother left her father, moved out here to California, got a PhD, and now her life is great.

      A. finally caught up with us to get into the cars - he and I sat in the backseat of a black SUV.

      As we left, the group talked about how because the wealthy family's house was so big, they normally didn't even see each other every day. Someone said how after this visit all together maybe they will appreciate each other more.

      The way from their house was a narrow mountain road with many ups and downs. I was nervous because we were going very fast, and there also didn't seem to be room for any other car to pass. I turned to A. and asked didn't it remind him of when we were driving to Amalfi.***** He was just confused, and then I remembered that I did that before we met.

      Last Awakening, 8:30
      I woke up from this last dream really gently. Overall, it was a pleasant and calm dream. At first, it didn't even register that it was a dream! First I remembered the visit, then I realized that the woman's story too was part of the dream and not waking life. It was an unusual feeling.

      Side Notes
      *My brain is really bad at architecture apparently, this might be a good candidate for a dreamsign. Buildings don't keep a consistent shape, I'm often in places that are simultaneously both inside and outside, and so on. I'm going to tag it "architecture."

      **I probably got this idea from reading the forums, about the "gravity" reality check. I don't actually do this. Actually I have no desire to fly in lucid dreams, I'm afraid of flying and heights! But my sleeping brain does not make that distinction, clearly.

      ***I think they lived in an apartment complex I've dreamed about before (though I don't remember it being specifically Atlanta). It has awful lighting and the rooms are too big so furniture always looks insufficient. Apartments are arranged on either side of a long hallway tiled in gray stone, with plantings in the middle like a shopping mall.

      ****I saw the police number, not 911, and it's driving me a bit crazy that I can't remember it! Because I just like numbers.

      *****When remembering this dream, I realized that the road was like a combination of the Amalfi coast road with the Smoky Mountains (and possibly Puerto Rico). Dream recipe: Italy + Tennessee = California.
    6. Back Ghost

      by , 04-28-2023 at 01:49 PM
      I was a young boy in this dream, sleeping on a couch in a room with the lights off.

      A black ghost-like entity crept up from behind me and I felt a tingling sensation on my back, then an electric sensation in my spine.

      Whatever this thing was, I felt a malicious femininity from it and got the impression that it normally targets children (it didnt know that Im not actually a child).

      I wasnt scared or intimidated, and dont like giving into these things, so I sat there for a moment.

      But the electric sensation in my back continued, so I woke myself up. The sensation persisted for a little bit after I woke.
      Tags: back, ghost, lucid
      Categories
      lucid , nightmare
    7. Grave Robbery, Lucid Delirium, and more

      by , 04-24-2023 at 02:29 PM

      Notes
      • Not great sleep, about 11:30-2:15 then 3:30-7:00
      • Journaling before bed with atmospheric black metal (Summoning - instrumental EP version of Caradhas on loop)
      • Thought about remembering my dreams and writing them down as I was falling asleep


      Art Class
      I was in a group art class or competition, something about "creation and destruction." We were given small partly-finished paintings to start with (I forget what our goal was though). I had to go get some moist paper towels to keep our paint wet, so I had to wander through a huge maze-like house. I ran into my mom (?) making hundreds of copies of some kind of article or exam, but I couldn't stop and chat for long.

      As I walked through the house, the plot changed.

      Funeral Robbery
      This part was third-person perspective, not me but characters I was following. I'll just use "we" for simplicity.

      We were wandering through this house, watching a family. We saw a mother and a daughter talking in a bedroom, sitting in armchairs with cats. The view kept changing, around the daughter, and I remember thinking "wow this is a weird camera angle choice!"

      There was also a small bald man following and watching - I saw him under the table in another room. It was all part of a game. We were definitely playing both sides, but somehow this bald man was also on the opposite "side" from us.

      The game all revolved around this regularly-held feast, on the enormous lawn outside the house. I saw the preparations, putting plates and bottles of champagne out on long tables. The party was, at least in part, a funeral. In the main event of the night, a coffin would pull up in a black carriage and they would bury it.

      The game was that every year some group would try to steal the body from the coffin, and hide it somewhere else. I saw that the group from last year had taken it from the house and hid it in their trunk, then buried it in a stand of trees (I was watching from the backseat).

      There was a kind of king and queen, and it was the queen who I was mostly following, who was playing on both sides of the game.

      In this world, people were also animals, sometimes. The king was a porcupine with long spines, but also kind of a peacock. The queen was an armadillo.

      This year, one of the coffin robbers was R. (a character from a story I wrote years ago, not an actual person, but in the dream he acted like "we" knew each other). He was hoping since "we" were his friend that we'd help him with this body-snatching game, and suggest where he could hide it. We couldn't give it away, but we kind of hinted at the place that the last group had hid in the body, in the trees.

      It was a round clearing in a circle of trees, downhill and away from the party. Around this same area, the king and queen had a little fort, with a glass ceiling, some sort of field that blocked R. from getting in.

      "We" slipped away from the party to see how he was getting on. We became a squirrel and watched from a tree. R. was also a squirrel, burying the body with a tiny fork/rake made of twigs. It would take forever. We became a spider and spun a web with a portrait of him in the middle, then swiped through and broke the face.

      Then a crab came over to investigate what was going on. R. became a person with a yellowy star for a head. I don't know what "we" were. But we threw the crab off the scent with some casual conversation.

      2:15 AM - Interlude
      I was glad to wake up from this first dream, because it was getting very strange. It took me a while to get comfortable and fall back asleep. I didn't want to resume the same dream. I listened to some of Reinkaos to try and change my train of thought.

      But then it became a classic case of "thinking about the thing you're not supposed to think about": I decided I definitely shouldn't think about the bear I saw running behind me in the woods right before going to sleep. Because that wouldn't lead to good dreams. And that was exactly what I couldn't help thinking about.

      Oddly enough, before I went to bed the first time, and before falling asleep this time, I was seeing medley of different places from nightmares over the years, places that as far as I know I'd never seen in waking life. I don't remember revisiting them in any dreams tonight, but I wonder why I was thinking of them?

      When I fell asleep though, it felt very "shallow" and not satisfying. I think this is how I became lucid later, there was no particular trigger, it was just that I remained partially conscious that I was asleep and dreaming, because it took such an effort to fall asleep.

      Mansion Apocalypse
      When I woke up I wrote "graveyard" but I don't really remember that now.

      I was in a beachy area (Florida? California?) with a group of rich people. One couple, who worked in finance, was talking about how they just purchased a "small" house with 11 bedrooms, and I was just wondering what I was doing with these people! Another lady in the group wanted to sell her "modest" beach home for an upgrade, so we all went to look at it.

      The other plot was that there was a famous scientist who had predicted the impending apocalypse. He was then assassinated, burned alive in his lab. The man who did it burned with him, but he was just barely alive, in a hospital somewhere near.

      Then we were traveling somewhere, a group of 10, before I (re)gained lucidity.

      Lucid Panic Time
      This part was like the classic "being chased" dream, just in different guises. I kept changing the scene, but it was the same basic plot. One in particular was a boarding house. It was in the "background" and as such was too small for me to fit in at first - just my torso and shoulders went through the door as I laid on the ground! But then it got bigger. A man down in the main room was attacking me, so I ran up blue carpeted stairs that spiraled around the wall of the building - when I was cornered, I just busted through the ceiling.

      I was trying to find A. - I thought it would be easier to get into control of the situation if I had a friendly accomplice. I kept trying to turn dream characters into him but it didn't work and they became hostile - at points I couldn't remember what he looked like. I kind of found him, but loosely. We got into my car in a big parking lot, and the driver door wouldn't close. I got fed up, like, this is a dream, I should be able to make this door work. So I stuck my hand through the window - it stretched like plastic, until I stretched it far enough to puncture it with my finger, then I could drive. There were police blocking the road but we got around them.

      Then a false awakening, where A. and I were writing in the dream journal together. He wrote that it was an awful time for him and I felt bad for my little plot.

      More Side Notes
      This was an anxious dream, and there was no sense of calm like in my semi-lucid dream earlier this week, so it went off the rails. I was just trying to escape, I didn't think things through/make explanations to help make things happen. So, at least I have learned more about what not to do!

      But I guess the thing to remember is "lucid" in dreaming is like the bare minimum of what it means to be "lucid" while awake - just a general awareness of your situation without any guarantee of level-headed thinking.

      And false awakenings - I have these pretty often. And what's more, they're almost always waking up in some place I've never been in my life. You'd think that could be a good cue for lucidity, but it never strikes me as strange!
    8. Field Trip

      by , 04-12-2023 at 06:34 AM
      Another patchy dream, really can't recall much of a cohesive story for this one either

      I'm sitting on a white bus next to a friend of mine, and we're on a school field trip. The bus has divided sections for each set of seats, like a caterpillar. I look out the window and see we're driving along a tree line that separates us from a beach. When the bus comes to a stop and we get out, I start arguing with the friend I was sitting next to about something. The next thing I remember is standing in front of a very small model house, before being told to go inside. Then, I'm locked in. I'm pretty sure this miniature house is some sort of escape room.
      The next thing I remember is opening one of the doors and a cardboard cutout of a zombie jumps out of the wall and scares me, like a haunted house. (Second dream in a row that has something to do with zombies!) Some other things that I can't recall happen, and then I remember being curled up on the floor of the starting room of the escape house, hugging my backpack and crying. I guess I really didn't want to be there.

      The next morning I wake up and realise I'm the only one still there, and I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere in this escape room while the rest of my class have driven back to school. I freak out and call my Dad to pick me up. When he gets there, I walk outside and see my classmates are there, even when they weren't a moment before. Something else probably happens after that, and then I wake up.

      First mostly nonsensical dream I've had in a while, I've really gotta stop consuming zombie media or else it'll be the only thing I dream about.
      Tags: dad, school, zombie
      Categories
      non-lucid , nightmare
    9. April 11, 2023 6:59 am

      by , 04-11-2023 at 06:45 AM
      Two dreams

      First dream was about a friend of my theatre friend/spoken word artist from Amsterdam did a photoshoot with me. My friend knows her because they both major in Lobotomy at the university in Belgium
      My best friend and I get a DJ gig in Belgium. We show up at the gig and sit still the table with a guy claiming to be the son of Snoop Dogg, whom gives us a motivational speech while trying to get us to smoke weed, which we refuse.
      The venue had a rather depressing vibe as there took a homicide place the day prior.

      I can't recall how the dream ended but it was in Dutch with my best friend and Snoop Dogg's son speaking English.

      The second dream I can't recall the storyline but it was basically this Walmart esque building that contained thousands of chickens that escaped and started terrorising the city.

      That gave me a deja vu of some sort, I could swear there's a franchise with terrorising white chickens or something, in my dream it was treated like it was as big as the Minions franchise lol it was a cursed dream but if the "chicken franchise" doesn't exist I'll start it
    10. Night of Sunday 3/12/23

      by , 03-13-2023 at 04:46 PM (Dreamlog)
      Woods Mansion Nightmare
      I'm walking in a heavily wooded area at night. Grass is above my ankles and wet. I come across my best friend D. He has a bed just outside the window of a mansion with lights shining on the grass below. We talk for a bit and then decide to go into the mansion.

      I'm running sideways and side jump through an open window in the mansion. It is well-lit and makes me think an older person might live there. Meticulously clean, lots of furniture we wouldn't be allowed to sit on, bookshelves all over. Then a woman with big 80's hair appears. It is blonde and straight up. Her face reminds me of older photos of my Mom (rest in peace). The woman runs into the room frantically.

      "DO YOU REMEMBER ME?!?!" the woman yells at me.

      I don't reply. At this point I'm in fight or flight mode. I'm running sideways again, and I do a side jump out a window. I fell as if I'm being chased but I don't look back to check. My escape route takes me back into the mansion. I'm running inside it again. I tried to change my path and leave through a window I previously came in from, but now there is a wall there.


      I had a thought as I stared at the ceiling, since I couldn't sleep after this dream. The way she said "Do you remember me?" was aggresive in the context of the dream (nightmare) but the actual content of what she said wasn't. I was thinking that if my mom was actually in some kind of collective unconscious in the afterlife, maybe she was trying to reach out and the message got scrambled by the context of the dream? I'm not normally so much the "hand wavy" type of guy. But I still find stuff like this interesting to think about.

      Fragment
      I'm in a more casual setting now. It reminds me of Grandma P's bathroom from a few houses ago. My mom is there, but her skin looks older. I don't recognize/recall that she passed some years ago. We spent some time together but I can't recall much.

      I've had some similar dreams with her showing up like this. We were close when she was alive, so I like to think she is just dropping by to say hi.

      Updated 03-15-2023 at 04:10 AM by 99808

      Categories
      nightmare , dream fragment , side notes , non-lucid
    11. Comp Night 9

      by , 03-10-2023 at 05:46 PM
      I was with a group of friends. We were having fun and it was great. Played this word game that was like Wordle mixed with some letter game. Well, this game gave me inspiration to look at DALLE 2. I wanted that lake SCP. SCP-1630 Im pretty sure (That SCP in reality is a group of bean people) It had a great result though. Then I just wrote SCP in the AI art prompt and without pressing anything, It started generating a bunch of disturbing images of people getting killed and screaming, with distorted music playing.

      My friend passed it off as normal and this got me insta-lucid. I originally was gonna gtfo cause of how messed up that art was but I remembered my PR and tried teleporting to it. I failed, and instead made it to this big mansion. Instead of using doors, I traveled by fusing into walls. Went out of bounds, like a game. I found two twins. Both of them looked mentally disabled but they were really built up. I tried asking one of the twins for directions, but then I woke up.
      Categories
      lucid , nightmare , memorable
    12. Duck, Duck, Bear

      by , 03-09-2023 at 05:17 AM
      I was standing by a pond, when I noticed a sickly looking duck under the surface. Its eyes were half closed, and it looked nearly dead. I contemplating saving it, but I felt it was beyond hope.

      I recalled reading somewhere that the end stage of drowning can be almost calm. Was would be the point of saving the poor thing? It would only suffer another minute before dying anyway.

      Suddenly the duck seemed to come to life again, and it kicked away a stone then swam to the surface. It had only gotten one of its feet stuck under a rock! I felt bad for standing by idly.

      I looked back at the duck, and it was now a cute little mammalian creature, with fur and a tiny blowhole. It seemed happy. I was glad it had no resentment toward me. Some water had flooded over a nearby sidewalk, and I followed as it swam up. I remembered what this creature was now, this was a bear cub. All bear cubs are aquatic in their youth.

      But... if this was a bear. Oh god. I turned around, and found myself staring straight at Momma Bear. She was not pleased. Yep this was it, time to die.
      Categories
      non-lucid , nightmare
    13. Mouth Wide Shut

      by , 03-04-2023 at 02:36 AM
      I was laying down on a scrappy mat in a hospital. What was going on? I felt weak and incoherent.

      I overheard one of the nurses saying that my kidneys were failing. Strangely this was a little comforting because at least my sudden arrival to this scene made some sense. I must had passed out and been brought to the ER.

      I asked the nurse what was happening, and she told me that I had stopped taking my "beauty pills" and that these were the results. Beauty pills, once you're on 'em, you can never go back.

      Now I couldn't fathom why I'd decide to take beauty pills, but I just accepted this as truth and figured they'd just give me these pills again and I could go home. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. Time skipped ahead and I was looking at myself in the mirror. The left side of my nose was extremely swollen, and it seemed to be getting worse by the second.

      I went outside to go find help, but shortly my tongue started to swell too. My mouth was forced open by the swelling. I tried to talk to someone to get help, but all that came out was an unintelligible "mmmmffffbbllooooggggdd".

      People looked at me like I was nuts. Oh well, some days just suck.
      Categories
      non-lucid , nightmare
    14. Nightmare and the Bandroom Jungle Cruise (Thursday Night)

      by , 03-03-2023 at 06:15 PM (Dreamlog)
      I'm checking doors to make sure they're locked. It's cold and rainy outside. I realize that I might have forgotten to lock the backdoor after I took the trash out earlier. I go over and confirm it isn't locked. Suddenly, it bursts open, rainfall flooding in. My brother is there with a knife, stabbing at me. I slam the door shut and try to hold it but he is pushing back and stabbing wildly at the openings of the door. I hear myself making moaning sounds. I'm trying to scream through sleep paralysis. I heard myself because GF is waking me up.

      I'm in band class. My GF and I are near the front of the room, surrounded by a bunch of percussion instruments. There's a stack of symbols, and I carefully try to maneuver out of the center of them, and I dodge the first bunch. I sarcastically brag about it and then knock over a different one on accident. GF sighs. I make my way to my instrument case. I'm wanting to go warm up and get past being embarrassed.
      Some time later, I'm eating some sugary chocolate ice cream drink while wading through a pool. Apparently I'm on the Jungle Cruise in Disneyland, but in pool form. The group of band people is on the other side of a bar sitting and watching me wade across this pool expectantly. It seems like a positive experience, where the staff is encouraging me. The ice cream was actually pretty tasty. I make it to the end, and everybody cheers.


      I get up about 4:30AM and perform a WBTB (planned this time, no supplements). I stayed up for about 20-30 minutes. I fail to perform a WILD, and I don't have any recall after the WBTB. I'm thinking this may have been too long to stay awake for me.

      Updated 03-08-2023 at 05:33 PM by 99808

      Categories
      non-lucid , nightmare
    15. February 28, 2023 6:58 am

      by , 02-28-2023 at 08:14 AM

      Sleep notes: Yesterday, I got to be part of a dope project I cannot disclose about that was a ten-hour-long day, I had to wake up very early to get there, had a breakfast smoothie, and bought a sandwich at the train station to eat as lunch later knowing it was gonna be a long day. It was genuinely a great experience, but I hate to admit this, they treated us poorly on terms of nutrition; Half of the catering consisted of sugar-heavy snacks (Which I didn't eat because I recently quit using sugar) and there was an this weird sweet tasting water that was in a bottle previously used for syrup, that was the only "normal" water, any other option was either cola or sparkling water. There was lunch, but not until 4 pm, which consisted of a very small portion of food and between lunch and eating that sandwich at the end of the day I barely ate because there was nothing but candy and soda available. I ate my sandwich from earlier in the train home, and two bites from my dinner before going to bed early. Safe to say, I suffered a great headache as well as a lot of dizziness yesterday due to poor nutrition and lack of hydration. It's gone now, fortunately.


      Anyways, here's my dream:
      I believe I was at another field trip of some sort, the same girl from the previous dream and I were once again going to share a hotel room, we hugged and made out, but we were both a little drunk so we didn't go any further than that. That and I also had to go to the bathroom really badly and found myself going though random hotel rooms looking for a vacant toilet because why should I use the one in my room. Finally back from the toilet, I get back in bed with her and we were about to sleep when a guy I knew from theatre crashed into our room to give us a college lecture through a projector which was already installed there. As he asked us questions we answered and he laughed, his laugh (and in hindsight also his appearance) resembled Eric from Sex Education.

      A blonde teacher I cannot recall walks into the room and logs into the computer and changes all her folder names to the new class she will he teaching after the head of department from my old theatre school gave her the opportunity to teach her the class she dreamed about. I'm trying to listen to her story, but the setting of the dream has now changed to a classroom whose interior vaguely resembles that of a theatre and cinema foyer as well as the Eye film museum in Amsterdam but in a dark, metal colour. In the classroom sat my old classmates from theatre school complaining about how her changing subjects will somehow affect their studies, but they were doing that while she was talking about her dream class and why she wanted to pursue that which I wanted to hear more about, buy couldn't. I got up from my seat and stood closer to listen, eventually telling the class to shut up and only have one person at a time speak, this angered the class and they all started getting mad at me which didn't help my sensory overload either. They felt threatened by my presence as I was still standing between them and the blonde teacher, who didn't step in once, and my body language seemed defensive in an aggressive way apparently.
      Kids from the class get up and tried to pull me out of class, I refuse. They then get the head of department there whom I'm glad is here so I can explain the situation to him, but he angrily grabs me by my wrist and pulls me out of class then tries to find a vacant room, opens a random door in the hallway that leads to an unknown room. We sit down, but as we're about to talk, I wake up and can't get back to sleep to dream about something else because I was fully rested with eight hours of sleep for once!

      It was an interesting dream to say the least. The girl from the hotel room from both dreams, is a girl I haven't seen in years now and barely spoken to, let alone thought about for a year now, too. The theatre school part has been more common, though. I should definitely see a therapist about that. Because although this type of situation didn't ever take place in real life, there is a lot of unresolved theatre school trauma I personally still struggle with that still lingers my mind and gets triggered at the most random situations.

      Also the hotel rooms as well as the labyrinth of hallways were all pink coloured.

      Updated 03-03-2023 at 12:08 PM by 81762

      Categories
      non-lucid , nightmare
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