• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. ccclxxxiv. Space dread, foreign land, art/drawing class

      by , 05-09-2022 at 06:37 PM
      2022 May 8th

      Fragment:

      Something like NMS. Flying through space in a system of a few planets. There's a Dyson sphere surface (like in FL before entry) and there's a planet which just seems to be melding or embedded with the sphere surface (which in itself appears impossibly flat). Something feels slightly trippy as I start to warp towards this planet.

      (recall gap)

      Border control place, at an Arabic-looking kind of building. Some kind of ID is needed to enter this place, which is an unspecified foreign country.

      (recall gap)

      Then I'm in a drawing class. Feels like college but with a mix of university too. There are photocopies of classical Roman-themed drawings which are sitting upright on a conveyor system and going around the classroom. I'm late to the class and don't get a brief and such. I start trying to draw based on one drawing of a gladiator down on the floor, the composition is focused on his head, wearing one of those brass helms. (Like in Jean-Leon Gerome's "Pollice Verso")

      I get about halfway through drawing this with a BIC pen and then somebody takes away the reference drawing I was using. I get annoyed by this and I try to simply wait to get it back and make attempts on my own to continue my drawing but it seems like it's not going to happen. I try to ask my tutor V for help but this doesn't go so well because he's trying to talk and me and others keep interrupting him and he forgets where he was with it, so he never really finishes circling around to any of us.

      Then the class is ending and my drawing remains unfinished, even though I'd been trying to make do without the reference. As people are leaving, someone takes the drawing I was working on, though I don't realise at first. When I do realise, I get annoyed and a bit frustrated by how everything was going.

      I just can't find the drawing anywhere and assume someone stole it. V and JC were waiting for me to finish looking because V was offering to give us a ride home and now they've been waiting a bit too long and just leave without me. It's now night time outside and there are other people around, so I am unable to distinguish who they are or where they went, in the dark.

      At this point I try to reverse time, without much fine control over how much time to reverse. The dream ends after a failed attempt where I reverted time too much, I think.

      Notes:

      - The main "trippy" thing about what was going on in the first segment was more or less what I could only ever describe as a feeling of dread when I first played some games like FL and when I experimented with placing planets and objects in such ways that the effect was so unnatural and which meant that when physically navigating these instances in a ship created a feeling very much like a fear of unknown and a sensation like falling. I can't really describe the effect on me too well because it has always felt particularly unique and I've never heard any special term for it, so weak comparisons are the best I can do.

      - I haven't thought much at all about something like the mentioned gladiator's painting for quite some time, though it is definitely amongst my favourites in paintings of such styles. The closest thing I can think of right now that has any associative resemblance would be thinking of a hairstyle for a character for H.
      -- The other aspect of this in the segment, is that the drawn reference of the gladiator that I was looking at was exceptionally well drawn and originally in graphite. The dead gladiator's expression was that of shock, looking sideways to his right, which relative to the position of his head would be "up". The point of view was at eye level to the dead gladiator and there was a fracture or some other kind of damage to the helmet. I distinctly recall there being chainmail under his helm.

      - The whole atmosphere to the drawing/college segment was one of a transitional phase, much like university actually had been. There was some dedication on my part but I was still not "in tune" with all of it. Although I do not recall exactly the quality of my own work too much in this segment, it wasn't too far off the original drawing I was looking at for reference. Symbolically, as this had the feel of a transitional phase and there are aspects of hindrances and frustrations, this is likely related to some of my current issues, which are not with some external factor this time but with an internal one, since it reflects the seriousness I want to put in while also reflecting something of myself to be lacking, with regards to having the required drive to push myself along where I want to go. (I am not feeling able to adequately express the sentiment of the relevance of this to myself right now)

      - Again this dream shows a strong symbolic element relating to three principles; individuality, group and collective, which seem to be strongly recurring elements at present, or perhaps my mind is much more focused on noticing this type of recurring element lately.
    2. ccclxxxiii. Mid-level questing and guild participation

      by , 05-09-2022 at 11:38 AM
      2022 May 7th

      8:20
      Dream:

      I'm on WoW, I'm playing as a human paladin, by the gear probably level 30ish. Model is vanilla style. I'm with a female caster, a night elf or a human, I think it changes. We're part of the same guild, one which I just joined very recently and we're doing a quest together. This is an alt for her, but this is a main for me. She has a mechanical squirrel mount. She's the same level or a bit higher and her character seems more life-like and "flowing" in terms of animations.

      There's another player nearby from the guild who is at max level. The quest me and the caster are doing requires killing an NPC that is scripted to put a certain buff on us, but I kill the NPC too fast at first. I think I apologise and get the feeling she may be annoyed by the fact I killed it too fast. A random player of a similar level appears and joins us for the quest. We do the thing properly this time and then this player leaves us again. Neither of us lost much health and I sufficiently use a holy light rank one to heal her. I think about how I wish I had flash of light.

      She quickly goes to duel the max level guildie nearby and gets very low HP, so I use some current-rank holy light casts on her. I think she's amused by all of this. She says she's spoken to management and I've been cleared (DRG intrusion) for "dungeon proc ID". I'm not sure what this means but can guess, I tell her. She tells me that she can see the raw data and where ores/herbs spawn and such like.

      Earlier. I'm with other guild members in a large communal bed thing, about seven of us I think? We're all supposedly trying to sleep. And at the foot-end of the bed there's player information, like there would be in the guild roster, but physical. I'm next to all the other paladins, I see, and many of whom are level 70, max level I think. I'm a noob in the guild. The guild has been around for seven years, I think to myself, and then I spot this paladin who's been here for five years and several months, being one of the oldest members who's still around.

      Even earlier. Something about an adventure and a town on water and natives or something. (Was not interested enough to write down recall and too tired.)

      10:00
      Fragment:

      Another WoW dream. Something about being a rogue. I'm in a forest not unlike Feralas and there are tall mountain sides near where I am. Again, something to do with a guild and a quest. I remember looking through or into a tree trunk of a large tree?

      9th
      Notes:

      - These dreams have two primary meanings that I'm seeing currently; one part is a sense of nostalgia for what playing the game was like, while the other part is the currently recurring collective aspect to my dreams lately.

      (Need to make further notes on this but am unable to concentrate enough at present)

      Updated 05-09-2022 at 06:56 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    3. ccclxxxii. The abandoned compound with strange animals and gems, New developments behind home

      by , 05-09-2022 at 11:20 AM
      2022 May 3rd

      Dream:

      I'm somewhere with H, at or near some kind of compound. His dad or a friend of his dad's is around too. There's something about precious stones in the compound, they spawn at random and in areas inhabited by some unusual creatures. It's not a nature reserve or anything like that, it's more like it's been abandoned despite still being apparently owned by someone. One of these strange creatures is a cat thing, the size of a dog and with more legs. It wants scratches but I'm wary of it, as it also wants to escape if given a chance, so I'm mindful about the door and my position. I consider that these animals may all be dangerous.

      I find one of the stones nearby and I leave. I somehow know it's worth 100K or so. I tell H and I feel proud and relieved, since it will be a huge help to us. I think to myself that we should make sure people aren't needlessly making this place known publicly or we won't even get a chance to get some more stones when we need the money.

      Later, a group of people who had also been getting gemstones is near an exit area. One of the people in the group is D, old school friend. Most of them seem a bit greedy, having hoarded many stones, rather than just getting one or two. I say to them that I can't see why they can't be more reasonable, and that I would always try to compromise when possible.

      (recall gap)

      Some other bit, also in some complex?


      2022 May 4th

      Dream:

      (Left recall a bit late)

      I'm at home with H. We go into the kitchen to do something. We're naked? I open the blinds and see a bunch of the neighbourhood kids out the back, some on the walls, others in the yard itself. (Quick note, this actually happened four days later, on the 8th)

      We motion from inside for them to get out and such, and then we go out a side door from the kitchen to the back, where the heart should have been. I lose track of H. In the yard, I see that some of the kids look a bit miserable, they're stuck in here by accident and I now feel sorry for them, and less upset about the fact they're here.

      Then, the back wall changes when I'm not paying attention. It's a cut-down wooden fence and I see loads of people around, playing around, having BBQs and so on. To my right, I see that we're on a sort of large plateau area and there are new apartment buildings in this area, some still being built. About twenty story high each. One has a green-ish and white colour scheme going. It's no wonder there are so many people here, I now feel. I feel annoyed and get into a sort of argument with a random woman, I think she was someone from school. As a character, I express confusion at all this and feel neglected. I ask why they built all this, why didn't the local authority let us know about any of it? And so on. I get unsatisfactory replies and just feel more and more frustrated.

      Later. At a supermarket inside a larger mall. (Like one in A but bigger) Initially I'm with H but then we split up because I need to go swap some pasta cheese ice cream thing. It looks like it has a blue cheese in it. Then, that woman from before again, she shows me some chocolate ice cream like knock-off Magnums. I try a sample or something, and so does she.
    4. ccclxxxi. A strange dream-life

      by , 05-07-2022 at 02:16 PM
      2022 May 2nd

      Note to self, at this point I started recording dreams with year first, month second and day third, because as I was archiving dream notes from my old phone, I realised just how much of a mess day first was causing me and it was something I had not given any thought when I first started recording them in that way. In the future, it will be easier to maintain an organised record by using year first, as I already do for some other things.

      Some in-line notes.


      Dream (Fragmented):

      I'm at my old bedroom. Dad is here visiting or something. For some reason, there are some sex toys out in my room and dad grabs them and piles them on top of an old computer desk I used to have in waking life. (The plastic "veneered" one)

      Dad doesn't comment much of anything about the sex toys, but I feel embarrassed. He talks to me about something completely unrelated.

      (recall gap)

      I'm swimming out of a body of water into a stairwell. I can't see the bottom of the water and as I climb out of the water, I'm soaked and dripping. I don't feel cold or hot. My hair is somewhat long and I see it in front of me and feel water dripping off it. The place looks like a school of some kind.

      I get up to the first mid-landing of these stairs and then climb some more steps up to a second landing. There are no more stairs after this point, as if they're missing, and so this landing just leads over back into the water again, from a higher point.

      (The preceding segment was recalled while dreaming the next segment)

      I'm in a field, walking along with two people. One of them is a local, the other someone I know (from the dream?). This field is strange, as it is made up of "strips" about one yard wide of specific plants, which all just seem rather wild and not at all cultivated, despite the organised strip logic going on.

      As a result, there's a varied array of colours, ranging from a nearly blue-green to a dry yellow-green or maybe brown. The local man is slim and on the older side. He tells me something about how they have no choice and how this is all they can afford to do. I understand "they" as their people, as if I'm visiting somewhere that I'm foreign to.

      Then, as we walk off the slightly sloped field area and starting down on a slightly steeper slope, I notice a small lizard, about a foot long counting the tail. Its on the side of a plant or a piece of dry/dead wood. It has a black scaled body interrupted by fluorescent yellow chevron stripes. The tail is flat and spiney, almost beaver-like.

      Then we're walking into a road and I worry about traffic but it doesn't look like there's any, it looks kind of desolate or calm. It's day time, the sun is low but it's not sunset yet and it's half cloudy but it appears bright. There's a road for each direction and they're about twenty to thirty feet away from the other, one of them being on a lower bit, as this whole area is a sort of downwards-sloping cliff seaside cliff area, to the end of which we're walking towards.

      As we get closer, even though the lowest point of the cliff is only about one yard up from sea level, I feel afraid I might drop or be pushed into the sea (on accident or otherwise). (It's at this point I recall the previous segment, I think the water must trigger the memory, though I don't think I "live" the memory in the dream at this point)

      Then, I'm at a house that looks like old home. Some part of recall is missing, weirdly I seem to have slept on the sofa and it's as if I was really asleep in the dream, for a time. I grab something I'd apparently left on the sofa. I see the old man from before and say "morning" to him. I feel a little disoriented and think to myself that I didn't mean to fall asleep and yet I did somehow.

      Then, I'm at an ALDI with H. We drove in in a sporty car. We pretend we're only friends and H says to a checkout person he has to get a massage coupon thing for his partner. The person at the checkout asks "what would she like?" and meanwhile I'm looking for three two-litre bottles of some soft drink, though I can only find one bottle. This ALDI feels more like a tiny service station shop and I think to myself we should have gone to our usual place. (This segment had something to do with the previous one, but I could not retain recall of what or how)

      (recall gap)

      Something about playing a game with a demon, and needing to do this to release an angel or something. The game doesn't make much sense at all and I can't think of how to describe it; in any case I struggle with this game in the dream. This takes place at some big/vast house, or some kind of palace.


      Notes:

      - Although I'd normally make this dream only visible to myself and DV contacts and so on, I feel that part of me has done that far too often of late, out of some sense of lack of confidence, an aspect I've been struggling with (again) in waking life.

      - This entire dream was very peculiar. I feel I could make this remark about so many dreams. In particular however, this dream felt especially switched on in terms of symbolic representation. When recalling the dream, it feels like some part of me was aware of this. Everything about it feels organised and metaphorical in a deeper way than usual, though I think some of it may be inexpressible through words. The dream itself in parts felt like one of those dreams that feels just like life in the sense of "this is how things are, this is my life". This dream would benefit greatly from a fuller exploration on paper that is not constrained to words alone and that can make directed (lines/arrows) associative links between elements.

      - I suspect that dad was representative of false expectations in some sense, because in the dream my embarrassment and the sex toy context were in fact irrelevant to our conversation about whatever else dad talked about. I am not certain what the significance of that desk specifically might be, but I must have been around 8 or 9 years of age when we had that desk, and the computer used communally with my siblings was on top of it, under one of the bunk beds.
      -- In a sense, the sex toys are also likely representative of the other side of false expectation; what my mind or feelings give importance to often has nothing to do with how others are perceiving me and if anything, I end up being bound or imprisoned by my own false notions of what others think.
      -- The other aspect to this is that family (represented by dad) are something that I keep entirely separate from sexual contexts as far as mental constructs go, I feel more so than most other people do, though that may be a result of upbringing; here, the two contexts meet but are essentially ignored by one another, as dad makes no remark and pays no mind, other than some sort of strange "tidying out of the way", and the toys themselves are inert objects that cannot on their own express anything except via context. This makes me think about how Jung defined libido as "psychic energy" as opposed to "sexual energy" as Freud probably did and it seems like the sex toys can also be representative of a transformation of my point of view on said energies. Again, I cannot fully form thoughts on this via text alone, this requires diagrammatic and drawn exploration that can show links and associations in a way that text can't.

      - The flooded school bit was odd because of how vivid it felt in terms of sensations, regarding swimming and water. I don't remember any specific emotions, but the school was an unknown place that I've never visited and which only vaguely conformed to some constructs of schools, none of which I've ever encountered myself.

      - I can't help but feel that I associate the encounters with water in this dream as being some kind of metaphor relating to collectives, more so than an unconsciousness. In a sense, the stairs were exactly about this; I can leave a collective but on the way up and out, there's actually no way out, and all I can see again is the collective, despite whatever other aspiration I might have had. There was a (somehow neutral) sense of hopelessness to this in the dream.

      - The strange field feels like it was about my whole Self. The locals, i.e. my non-conscious elements, do their best to cultivate other non-conscious elements and so on (the plants) but they are constrained by what they can afford to do. I am not sure what "afford to do" could mean in a sense of personality. The land felt inhospitable to cultivation and taming, and perhaps these non-conscious elements actively taking part in growing and tending to things, are actually unwelcome by the rest of the unconscious landscape. I am checking in on them, but I seem to be there in a capacity that cannot act or make changes to the situation at present, and that any changes would have to be future, such as based on a report or the like.
      -- In a sense, the plants felt very much foreign to the land as I did, even if the locals themselves just seemed... Well, local.

      - Despite the small size, the lizard felt instantly appealing to look at, to be interested in. The black scaled body felt immediately relatable to what I have wanted to portray in my alter-ego for some time. The chevron striped pattern seemed unique to me. And in some sense I always find myself relating to reptiles though I have seldom spent time near them, perhaps because they have a tendency to run away from humans and to be solitary, which may be part of the appeal in itself. The lizard's tail appeared dangerous but as the lizard was most likely not aggressive, it seemed like an aspect of self-defence only. Curiously, I am now recalling that the lizard seemed to be in shade rather than in sunlight, and it's the only wild animal I recall seeing in the dream.

      - The part with H at the service station ALDI definitely feels related to how perceptions are so based on physical appearances and how it's very difficult to move on from this, in cultural terms.

      - The game with the demon felt like some kind of mix between Tetris, cards and other games of chance. I really can't describe it, especially for how little visual recall I have left of it. I just remember a somewhat dark and red-hued room, and a cloth-draped table.
    5. ccclxxx. Sunken temple, character shading, fight between two women

      by , 05-07-2022 at 01:20 PM
      26th April 2022

      Fragment:

      Something about WoW. I remember discussing Sunken Temple in chat and also being near the actual place.


      28th April 2022

      Fragment:

      Something about drawing. I draw or notice in a character drawing, some different way of shading around the edges? (Wish I'd retained recall better)


      29th April 2022

      ~9:00
      Fragment:

      (Left recall too long, about two hours from waking)

      A dream bit where I'm either an observer or just watching in some sense. These two women are fighting each other, one of them is in her mid fourties or so and she's using a pole or something like one to attack the other woman. She has semi Asian features but would otherwise seem Caucasian, with a sort of gristly and greying black wavy hair.

      The other woman is in her mid twenties or so. She's white, has straight black hair. The area is like some outdoor stone steps, cream colours, modern architectural feel.

      As the two of them fight, the younger one starts growing, at first only her breasts but then all of her, proportionally. The older woman remarks cheekily on this and the growing younger woman complains that now she won't be able to go to the ball or gala (?) and in the end her breasts end up being smaller in proportion compared to how they were before the growth. She's also upset about the fact that she won't be able to get any clothes to fit her now.

      (Dream went on, rest of recall was lost)


      Notes:

      - Mostly some notes for the last fragment: It is not too typical for me to be present in a dream only as an observer, though it does happen. In this case however, the relation between the dream characters seems like a dynamic that might happen between some of my characters like S and N, though with a detached relationship between each other in this case.

      - The older woman had more air of confidence to herself than the younger one did, and if anything the younger woman had more anger to her. This may be a reflection of what I've found through my own conscious and waking retrospection as I've gotten older.

      - In a sense, both women were the same woman. The older woman could be said to be an altered or warped version of the younger and what she lacked in drive she made up for in the self-confidence; this seems evident from how she made a cheeky remark when the younger woman started growing, rather than being intimidated by the fact. And likewise, the younger woman's angry drive became more of a hapless confusion as the situation changed unexpectedly, her concerns turning away from the immediate fighting (perhaps because the threat appeared diminished relative to her) and onto concerns about a unspecified future (the clothes, the ball/gala).

      - A side note here, S and N appeared as characters mostly through non-conscious manifestation, whilst their development became partly consciously adopted. So for me the relationship between these two women in this dream is of special interest because it happened entirely out of a non-conscious dynamic, which evolved on its own. I had no influence or interaction, I was simply an observer, which meant that their development was not influenced by my thought, because as the type of observer I was, I had no specific thoughts, perhaps because any part of me that was capable of thought and emotion was inhabiting the women, whilst the senses themselves were not removed from my point of view, as an observer.
    6. Giving Life to a Dream (4+ hours long)

      by , 04-25-2022 at 05:56 PM
      I only had one waking last night that Iím aware of. Normally Iím aware of all my wakings but every few weeks, usually when Iím especially tired, I only 1-2 that Iím aware of (instead of the usual 4-6).

      ---

      First dream of the night was more thoughts than a dream. There was no story or dream, but I was thinking about genetics and imagining them as trees all linking up. I was just going through them in my mind. Not sure whether this is lucid or not. It was just thoughts, and I felt aware of that.

      Woke up from it. Wish I wrote down the time, but my guess is it was somewhere between 12 and 2 AM.

      Went back to bed and started what would feel like a continuous 4+ hour dream.

      I WILDed into a scene of white light. As the light faded, a dead forest came into view, full of burnt trees. There were humanoid monsters in the trees that bounded from limb to limb, hidden both by the trees and a thick ashy fog. They were white bodied with ghoulish smiling faces and thin skeletal frames, no muscle.

      They carried bows and fired deadly arros at anyone wandering past.

      I avoided the arrows and traveled the treacherous forest. As I went, leaves started to appear on the trees and the fog died down, as though slowly stepping out of an underworld. I reached a village where my dream SO (significant other) met me. The sun was going down so we bought a cabin, not wanting to be out after dark. It was well known amongst the villagers that you don't stay out after dark, or those creatures in the forest will kill you.

      The cabin was tiny, about 100 ft.≤ with stairs leading to a second tiny section. It was cozy, full of nice soft furniture. A bed and essentials was all one needed for survival. The most important thing was that it was protected from the creatures outside. It had good locks and was small enough to be hidden in the trees (reachable with a small ladder).

      There was a young man there who seemed to be an old friend, and he had nowhere to go. He needed somewhere to stay the night. He seemed suspiciously unstable and angry, but with the monsters outside, we couldn't leave him out there to die.

      After we agreed to let him stay, however, he pulled a knife on us, wanting to steal our home and belongings. I grabbed his arms and wrestled the knife from him, then stabbed him with it before he could do the same to us. We took off running, leaving him bleeding and cursing.

      We ran to the central village area, knowing my SO had friends here who we could stay with. I suspected the attacker would burn our house down and/or try to kill us in retaliation. We needed to avoid him, and the night monsters.

      When we arrived at the SO's friends' house, we knocked on the door. This was an apartment complex and each strucrally sound unit was bigger than our little cabin. When the door opened, we saw several of her friends in the house, lots of colorful lights, music. It sounded like they were having a party.

      We explained what happened and that we needed to stay somewhere for the night, but the group was suspicious of us and didnít buy the story.

      This was a turning point where they had decided to end their friendship with my SO. We decided to go somewhere else. It was dark out by now. We went to the nearest hotel, but didnít have any money left since we spent it all on that house that we couldn't currently risk going back to.

      We tried to sneak into an empty hotel room, but then realized the room wasnít empty. Whoops! Before we could be caught, we slipped right back out into the halls.
      It wasn't a really nice hotel. Was pretty cheap and seemed to be falling apart. The whole place felt small and cramped, too.

      So we went into the bathroom, which was a multi stall bathroom and not the cleanest.

      The owner happened to be in the bathroom and yeah somehow I just knew that that was him. He was just washing his hands.

      My SO saw an opportunity though and suddenly got down and started cleaning a horrendous stain on the floor. I don't know what this was, but it was thick and green, like just straight inch-thick mold. It was nasty. Somehow I knew that the owner had been having trouble with the stain so I got down too and helped cleaned it. We actually started scrubbing it out, revealing very nice clean floor underneath.

      The owner noticed and was impressed. He asked about the cleaner. My SO then offered to clean more up in exchange for a nightís stay if there were somehow any extra rooms. The owner looked like he was considering the offer, but wasn't sure about it.

      So I got up, and offered my dragon. Donít know where I pulled her out from, but suddenly I was holding my dragon out towards him. He was immediately on board.

      As the hotel owner took my dragon, my consciousness seemed to go with it. Next thing I knew, I was the dragon hanging off his shoulder as he carried it outside. I just stayed and enjoyed the breeze and village lights. I looked up and marveled at the moon. It was incredibly bright and the fog had cleared. Everything was much more colorful around the village.

      I looked back at the hotel owner when he wanted to see some fire breathing. Dragons breathe fire, right? Sure. I tilted my head up towards the sky and breathed some fire. Only a few embers came out because my dragon is a water dragon. Personally I was happy with it, but he seemed less impressed.

      I got the feeling that he knew what I was, which was much more than just a dragon. He seemed unhappy about it, though. I eventually lost interest in hanging on this guyís shoulder and ran off into the forest to explore.

      There was a trail that spiraled down below the forest and village. Underneath was a whole other section of wilderness. It became apparent to me that this was the same planet/place I had been to in a previous dream, because there was a familiar ocean of fungus created by the forest.

      It resembled acid, or syrup, but was a healthy part of the environment. Spotted forest seals (no bigger than a large dog) swam in it and gathered onto one of the ledges near the fungus to lounge. Up the dirt trail was a pack of wolves near a large tree.

      I came back up to the surface area after a while, walking through the grass past an abandoned structure, still in dragon form. I stopped and thought something along the lines of:
      ďI havenít been thinking about the fact this is a dream the whole time. Does that mean Iím not lucid? No, of course Iím lucid. Just not thinking about it actively until now.Ē

      As I thought about the dream state, I noticed that everything stopped moving. The grass was frozen when I was pretty sure the breeze had been sweeping through it moments ago. Everything felt less alive in the dream. I was less engaged with it, and it stopped having that natural flow.

      I wondered if I was creating expectation to wake? I decided to turn my attention back to the dream and went back into the forest.

      I circled around and checked on everything. The seals, ledges, fungus, dirt trail, trees, wolves. Those night monsters were gone and everything was more vibrant and lush in the forest. Everything looked fine.

      Wondering what my dragon sounded like (it doesnít make any noise typically), I tried making some vocalizations. What came out sounded like a weak, failed coyote howl.

      It was loud enough that it could be heard throughout the village in the distance, though. People recognized the sound and knew it was now safe to come out at night. The whole village was lit up even more now and people bustled around, knowing my dragon had scared the monsters away. Everything felt more alive.

      I woke up and it was 6:18 am

      Further Incubation
      Now that I'm awake, using the long PR dream from last night, Iím going to incubate some extra things. usually I do this by filling in gaps where previous dreams wereít specific.

      I'm going to think about the hotel owner. Aside from dragons being mythical creatures and presumably valuable, I donít know why he wanted it. He wasnít happy about seeing the dragon, but he was happy to own it.

      So Iím going to incubate the idea that monsters in the forest forcing people to stay inside created good business for his hotel. With desperate guests brings more money.

      He knew that the lucid guardian dragon would ward off those creatures, so he wanted to suppress it. He didnít know how to do that, though.

      So maybe I'll encounter him again, or revisit this village in a future dream.
      Tags: forest, monster
      Categories
      side notes , lucid , memorable
    7. Awake and asleep at the same time, and lucid and nonlucidat the same time (messing with boundaries).

      by , 04-16-2022 at 06:34 PM
      Imagine communicating with words to a waking person while you're asleep and aware of both states, or being able to move your waking bvody (not just eyesn or fingertips, but the whole body) without waking up?

      I've done both, with two vereified exeriences and several nonverified ones, and I want to become more proficient at this.

      So I've been practicing and trying to learn how to do this more reliably. Some birds can sleep with one eye open, presumably asleep but able to watch their waking surroundings at the same time in the open eye. Inspiting!

      My Unverified Experiences
      I've WILDed with my eyes open a before and watched my bedroom change. I'm not sure at what point the real bedroom became a dream and don't have any memory of closing my eyes.
      I also WILDed with eyes open in the car and watched out the window for about an hour, but asleep (my SO said I was snoring in waking reality). Music was playing. For me, it became distorted, but my SO told me (after I woke up) what song it was. So I'm not sure which or how much of my experiences were real or dream.

      My Verified Experiences
      - I asked my SO to wake me up once while lucid dreaming, because I was having trouble with it (normally I don't have trouble waking myself up from dreams, so this was rare). My SO actually did hear me ask for help in waking life, and woke me up.
      - My SO was tossing and turning, I assumed having a nightmare, so I rolled over and gave SO a pat. I was still asleep, but had partial awareness of waking reality (could hear the noise machine, but only quietly). I became curious about how asleep I actually was, wanted to verify, so I woke myself up fully, at which point the noise machine became full volume and I was still in the same position, with my hand on my SO's back.

      Last Night's Practice
      In my lucid dream last night, I decided to think about my waking body and move my waking hands and arms, to see if I could do it without waking up. I also opened one of my 'waking' eyes to see my bedroom, testing if I could become aware of external environment without waking
      I made two mistakes in judgement:
      1. I was not actually seeing or interacting with waking reality this time, it was just another (nonlucid) dream. Whoops. Could have been a false awakening if I actually 'woke up' at this point, but I did successfully stay in the lucid dream.
      2. I forgot I'm actually blind in one eye due to a congenital condition. so I have no conceptual idea what seeing out of two eyes is like. I assumed I was looking out of two eyes in the dream, like those birds, but the experience for me was the same as looking out of my only good eye. The scene switched back and forth between the lucid and nonlucid dream, but I was still only seeing out of the one eye.

      This wasn't exactly a success for what I'm trying to learn, but I'm not going to view it as a failure. It was good practice. Plus now I can tell people I was lucid and nonlucid at the same time, for real.

      Updated 04-16-2022 at 07:10 PM by 99032

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid , false awakening , memorable , side notes
    8. First Dream/Hallucination/SP & Incubation Exercises

      by , 04-09-2022 at 08:00 PM
      I assume my first lucid dream was around age 9-10 years, but I can't remember.

      Here's a dream I remember having at around the age of 5-6, which involved bringing a dream monster into waking state and brief SP.

      I'm also going to go over some incubation exercises that will improve future dreams.


      - THE DREAAM -

      I was in a dimly lit building trying to avoid monsters around the corners that were looking for me. They werenít particularly frightening, just unsettling enough that I wanted to move away from them.
      Then, I felt something tap my shoulder and woke up. paralyzed briefly (but not for long). Then something on that same shoulder blew in my ear.

      I assumed it was my step dad messing with me and said his name as I sat up, but heard him snoring, so it wasnít him.
      Then I noticed it sitting in my lap. I often slept cross-legged as a kid. The monster from my dreams was sitting there staring at me with its vacant expression.

      It turned and levitated upward and into the corner where if disappeared into one of the milk crates we had stacked up there.


      - INCUBATION -

      After 20+ years of not thinking much about those monsters, Iíve decided to incubate appealing ideas about what they are. This allows for more dream control in future dreams (and also control over hallucinations and SP, which I'm prone to).

      Because this was the first dream I remember, my mind naturally assigns significance to it. So it's a good opportunity.

      So two concepts I'm incubating:
      1. The reason these monsters chased me is because they sensed my capacity for bringing dream entities into waking world. Thereís an energy that I give off, a type of radiation thatís non-detectable because it has no electrical charge, kind of like neutrinos. Only some supernatural entities can perceive it.

      2. Those monsters looked like giant woolly caterpillars, being black with a brown band around the middle. Whenever I think of woolly caterpillars, I think of hunger and eating themes, so Iím going to say that they consume the above energy. They just wanted to eat my dream traveler radiation and are harmless.

      ^ Developing these concepts removes the mystery and fear elements from the hallucinated monster, making them definitively non-threatening. It also helps cement the idea into my mind that I have a definite super power in dream worlds, which fosters more control over dreams, hallucinates, and SP.

      That's it for now!
      Tags: monster
      Categories
      memorable , side notes
    9. Oneironautics, Tulpamancy, and Magick

      by , 04-09-2022 at 08:54 AM (The Dream Adventures of MadMonkey)
      I have been in a dreaming rut for a month now. My work schedule has allowed me to sleep in way to much and I have had no willpower to dream journal this whole time. Fortunately, my life is becoming less stressful which makes me think I will get an up-kick in my discipline and routine soon. I have already been making progress in my witchcraft and tulpamancy.

      I have been learning to manipulate psychic energy by reading the book Psychic Witch by Mat Auryn. I learned to feel my astral body when I was 16 while researching astral projection but I never learned to draw on external energy sources until reading this book. Practicing channeling terrestrial and celestial energy makes me a circuit for so much energy it leaves me feeling strained by at the end of the day because I'm not yet very good at turning that energy off.

      Juliana, my tulpa and dream guide, has made some new internet friends recently. She enjoys texting because it makes her feel very present and appreciated. I look forward to the next time I summon her in a dream. I'm thinking about incubating a spa where she and I can relax and have a nice conversation.
    10. Overcoming Sleep Paralysis (if you already have it)

      by , 04-05-2022 at 07:22 PM
      After some careful consideration, I've decided to put my experiences of SP out there. It may be controversial and not a simple fix, but I hope this will be helpful to people who experience it.

      I had SP for over 20 years. The first remembered one happened around age 5-6 and it wasn’t particularly scary, but I had typical nightmare demon ones later.
      I sought treatment from psychiatrists and other professionals for underlying issues, but continued to have SP even after the treatment and recovery from mental issues. I eventually got rid of SP using dream control, incubation, and other tools learned from the LD community (you guys are a life saver!).

      I'm not professional. This is not medical advise. If you have a condition or medical issue, seek professional help. You may need treatment of underlying conditions.

      So if you have SP already or are scared of getting it some day, good news ahead! Read on and I’ll explain how it can be dealt with, and turned into a not-problem.

      Some misunderstandings seems to arise from confusion between hypnagogia and sleep paralysis, but these are two different states. The key difference is that you aren’t paralyzed for hypnagogia.
      There's also a difference between waking sleep paralysis, and having dreams about sleep paralysis. You can dream that it happened, but this isn't the same thing as having it when waking.

      If you're having dreams about SP though, the stuff below should still be helpful.

      So here's what you can do to deal with SP:
      - Know that it isn't real. All sensations are created by your mind. I've changed sensations in the moment, causing uncomfortable sensations or even the paralysis itself to fade away. It's controllable with your mind.
      - Know that you have control over your mind, and these hallucinations. I've used dream control and expectation to have friendly SP characters.
      - Practice relaxation with body and mind. You can use meditation, or just think about being comfy and wanting to LD.
      - Go to sleep from SP. This is an opportunity for WILD. You can enter an LD from SP.
      - View SP as an opportunity to do whatever you want.
      - Incubate ahead of time and plan your future experiences and intentions to have positive ones. I spent some time training my mind before bed to practice these things and get into the mindset, changing the way I previously viewed SP.
      - You can also practice SP in dreams. I summoned an SP demon in a lucid dream and turned it into a positive experience with incubation and dream control. We had a nice time.
      - Practice going to sleep inside LDs, and the results you want to get. I trained myself to use falling asleep as a teleportation method. Any time I go to sleep in an LD, I can teleport to another dream scene. I use this for both SP and LD nightmares, or even just mildly unplerasant LD situations.

      There's also another trick to getting out of SP, which I see a ton of people on Facebook, Redit, and elsewhere using—and that is to wake yourself up from SP with some kind of sudden movement. I did this consistently for years and it used to be my solution, but I've since discovered the items above are even more consistent and effective, so this is just another option. You can also yell or call out for help (and yes it can be heard by real people, if you sleep next to someone). I called for help and my SO woke me up from one before.
      But the list above is more thorough. Combining all these things, I haven't had any bad SP experiences in ages. I still get some bizarre experiences, but they tend to be exciting and positive.

      Good luck everyone and have fun!

      Updated 04-05-2022 at 07:29 PM by 99032

      Categories
      side notes , memorable
    11. Finally back to journaling, starting off with: Strange magic dragon dream | [17.03.2022]

      by , 03-18-2022 at 01:49 AM (Draeger's Dream Journal and Documentation)
      Strange magic dragon dream
      I am at building C of my school, on the second floor (entering from the yard, you basically have 4 important doors on the bottom floor. Two on either side, which lead to a staircase leading up all the way to the third floor, with every second platform, occurring after every second unit of stairs, leading to the corresponding floor. In front and behind you, you have exits, the former leading directly to the street and the latter to the school yard. To your left, you have a freestanding stairway, leading up to a platform, whose shape can be imagined as a rectangle without the bottom edge showing the path you can walk along, the path fitting to the wall. From there, multiple rooms can be accessed and also two doors leading to the left and right staircases to the other floors). There, I apparently have a kind of private lesson with a teacher I actually do not particularly like, but, apparently he wants to teach me, and a small group of other people who want this, how to become a dragon and I guess to harness that kind of magic(? not sure about the magic part. might have had to do with fire). Thus, I enter the class. I was excited, but had a kind of feeling in me that this would be too good to be true. Though, then, after a while, it did kind of work and I guess I transformed into some kind of humanoid dragon form. I felt a great amount of the feeling of freedom and also a kind of wildness along with this. I remember knowing that this would just be a small taste and that there was more potential in this ability. At this point, I guess I had remembered others and also myself couldn't see this happen (despite us having seen it before; it was kind of contradictory, even the moment this came up) and I thought that this would just be too good to be true and that I was stuck in wishful thinking again. The teacher wanted us to try flying, but I thought that was kind of stupid, considering the fact that apparently the bell had rung and everyone was moving to their other classes, so everyone would just think we're crazy and other teachers would get angry at us, so I just waited, despite my anxiety, as I knew the teacher was impatient, but that was just way too stupid of an idea to me. So, eventually, everyone had seemingly moved and I felt like nobody was going to see this, so, after watching some of the others in my group managing to lift off and fly around, I tried flapping my arms (despite me knowing that we were doing this because apparently we had learned to develop our wings enough), and, as I failed to lift off, I felt like my worries were confirmed and was discouraged, but did not have the plan to give up. I subsequently woke up.



      Finally started journaling again. There has just been a lot of stressful stuff going on in my life, which has prevented me from continuing this for quite a while.

      I actually only remembered this because I saw a cloaked person outside, which reminded me of harry potter, which reminded me of this for some reason. Weird.

      Legend:
      Dream
      Notes
      Awake
    12. Finally a Lucid

      by , 03-02-2022 at 06:36 AM (MoSh's DJ: The Best Dream Journal in The Universe.)
      Lucid with Jamie but not sure.

      I was walking outside of my house? Became lucid randomly. It was night out. I realized I wanted to find Jamie. I had passed a car previously. I turned around to find it but it was gone. I went to the driveway a bit past where the car was parked. A Really old red VW Beetle was parked there (Days later in waking life on the face book swap/n/buy for my are an old red VW beetle was listed. precog dream???). I checked my pocket and had a key. The key looked like an old house key. I acted as if it as the car key. I sat down in the car found a place for the key to turn and went through the motions of starting the car and it worked. I drove downtown in a generic dream city that was like calgary or parts of Toronto. I started saying Jamie's full name out loud.

      Came to a basket ball court. Saw a Woman standing there with pink dyed hair and brown eyes. Didn't quite look like Jamie but the feeling was that it was her. I pulled up and said Hop in. Jamie looked at me with recognition, and got in the car. Initiated a casual greeting kiss. She acted natural with it. i was very lucid and started with questions. I asked, "Do you read my dreams?" She said "no." and i was shocked at the answer. But it wasn't her anymore. I was talking to a little yappy dog. and it was speaking a different language. I kept asking the same question. It said something like :Yes, and then : no. i was pretty flustered and woke up.



      Putin


      Yes, because of the war I started having these dreams while falling asleep. First is a black area and I just see Putin's face. He is angry and says, "I will push with this war into World war 3." Then i can see an explosion reflected in his eyes and then his face.

      Second dream he had barbed wire around his neck and is choking. From sanctions no doubt?
      Tags: jamie, putin
      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid , nightmare , side notes
    13. ccclxix. Crowded school, Government lady, Assassins investigation, Space exodus

      by , 03-02-2022 at 12:05 AM
      19th February 2022

      Fragment:

      Some bit outside with childhood friend D. Unusually, he's sad or depressed, in an angry sort of way. There's a city road and cars, they seem abandoned?

      Later. In a school place with H; there's some Chinese children and we have to walk through this room where some of the children are, to get to the teacher's desk. We have to be careful because the room is somewhat packed. The teacher is male and speaks in English to us.


      20th February 2022

      Fragment:

      Something about factions and such. There's a sort of palatial and governmental-like building with guards, who tell me to take my boots off. In a certain part of the dream, playing soccer against my cousin T; we're both bare foot and she kicks me on the genitals as we're playing. It feels purposeful? I tell this lady supervising us that this isn't fair and that I would play better with my boots on anyway. This lady supervising is some sort of regional regent. There is no sense of a waking-world country being related to this place and its government.

      (later) In the kitchen. Putting something for H in the red thermos (the one from family).


      22nd February 2022

      ~6:00-10:00
      Fragment (DFLN):

      In some kind of base or complex. The walls are plain concrete or metal and there's a dry-green tinge. There's only artificial lighting and I can't recall daylight at any point. I interact with other characters though I mostly only vaguely recall a segment on some kind of descending shaft with a stairwell or something. A group of assassins that I'm investigating or something? Following a trail perhaps. In this cylindrical shaft with the stairwell I find a katana with a gilded pattern both on the hilt and at the base of the blade, the edge may be gilded too. I discuss the blade with someone, a woman(?) nearby, as I inspect it.

      Fragment:
      Space. Going towards the edge of the galaxy with a fleet. I encounter a previously unknown race which sells or trades with us for some technology blueprints they have available, including blueprints for a battlecruiser, or perhaps a battleship. I see a HW-like user interface and accept the exchange. I remember thinking that it would be very helpful to have some extra firepower because of others with overwhelming numbers.

      Then, in a further region of space, further along towards the galaxy edge I think. Something about space or reality is distorted in this region.


      26th February 2022

      Scraps:

      Something about cotton buds; blue stalks, in a clear plastic tub, round?


      Notes:

      - I've recently been playing Homeworld, so that's probably part of why there was this theme in the last fragment. Though in the Homeworld games there's mostly a focus towards going towards the galaxy core, as there is in some other similarly themed sci-fi games. In the dream, there was more of a sense of exodus away from the central areas, which also relates partly with the Homeworld story. When I've recently played the game again, I gave the story a lot more thought than the first times I played the games, years ago.

      - It's curious that there was the theme with the assassins and the katana. I've recently had very vague thoughts about playing Divine Cybermancy again and I feel that the themes in that dream were partly intrusions from these thoughts.

      - The bit where I'm playing soccer with my cousin, I think we're both adults and it's like she's implied to be an agent for this unknown government. I think in the dream I had a more connected sense of what was what but if I did, I couldn't hold on to recall it after waking.
      - We were playing in a room and the whole thing felt like some kind of test. I imagine the low-blow has some kind of metaphorical meaning, anything relating to blows or hits to the area is a rare event in my dreams, and usually feels especially symbolic for some reason, perhaps in part due to its rarity too. There was also a sunset and cinematic-like feel, despite the fact I was myself in first-person.
    14. ccclxv. Mini water planet, Statue of Liberty and zombie, Driving around

      by , 02-28-2022 at 04:06 PM
      2nd February 2022

      Fragment:

      A bit like DSP, travelling to a mini water planet orbiting a larger regular planet. I remember trying to build something, though finding it difficult because of not having much terrain to build on initially. Throughout this dream I recall a nice sense of scale and somewhat strange proportions with regards to perspective.

      Dream:

      Statue of Liberty arriving in bits for assembly, in several barges/boats. There's a wait for more parts to arrive. Some narration describing what's going on? Some ships are taking more months than they should be taking at sea and others are ending up at nearby docks, but still distant from where they should actually be arriving at.

      The pieces of the statue are all already turned green. I mostly see all of this from distant or aerial views. Then I see a giant zombie rising from the ocean. It/he isn't hostile but is reckless and sinks at least one ship that happens to be in his path. I vaguely see red glowing eyes?

      Eventually the entire scale of the dream decreases and instead of a large New York bay, the scene is now a street or room, with no trace of water or having been wet. The zombie is here and is childlike, both in size and behaviour; he's trying to communicate in some way, but not with language, as he doesn't seem capable of it.

      There's a living child nearby, not sure if a boy or a girl. This child is curious about the zombie and wants to interact or play with him but some nearby adults or parents are very apprehensive and worried about the zombie child and want to keep the living child away, despite the fact that the child doesn't seem frightened or anything.

      The zombie child seems to have been able to communicate that he wants an engineer or electrician, for something to do with electricity.


      5th February 2022

      Fragment:

      Something about having the key to the car and driving around. H is in the passenger seat and we go via some mountainous areas which makes H critique my driving, though I comment that he hasn't been a passenger in a while either. Point of view shifts a few times, between first person and aerial views? Something blends with sci-fi or space context.


      Notes:

      - All throughout the dream with the zombie, there was a very grungy, gritty and generally dark or overcast mood to everything. Everything felt desaturated apart from a few details like the red eyes and the green of the statue's plating.

      - The zombie figure is very clearly lacking specific skills that relate to consciousness but seems to make up for them through keen intuitive and primal instincts with regards to communication. His intents were never clear from the start apart from the fact that there was no open hostility, just a sort of single-minded tunnel-vision.
      -- There are some other clear elements of unconsciousness about the zombie character, such as the fact that he rises suddenly from the ocean, such as thoughts or images that cross the threshold of consciousness but that do not yet make themselves clear or which have their own nature.
      -- The giant attribute made me feel a mix of excitement, arousal and concern, as has always been common for me with such themes, a lot of the time. The fact that the character was undead added to the element of concern.

      - Through most of that dream, I felt mostly detached from everything, like I was mostly there as an observer, though in the second half of the dream I felt more present.

      Updated 02-28-2022 at 04:08 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable , dream fragment , side notes
    15. ccclxi. Overly friendly woman, discussions, food decisions, Moving painting

      by , 02-27-2022 at 09:03 PM
      Unfortunately, for one reason or another, I keep falling back on my backlog of dreams that I want to put up on this DJ. This is annoying me a bit so I better get back to catching up on myself.


      2nd January 2022

      Some in-line bracketed notes.

      Dream:

      I'm in a version of my current bedroom. The window is across the way from the bed, rather than being to a side. It's sunny and the curtains are open. There's a slightly portly man walking around the room, going on about what was discovered about pork meat, saying he should have known all along and that he was glad he didn't have too much of it in his life. I feel there's some irony considering his physical appearance. (at the time of this dream, I think I felt this had something to do with eating what I like while I can)

      (recall gap)

      Then, in a car outside with H. Again, sunny, clear and bright. We're talking? It's a busy place, in a cobbled street. Looks like certain areas in L. A scantily dressed woman waves at me with a smile from a third floor window. I wave back and say hi quietly, wondering why she was being so friendly, but further thinking that she probably just found me attractive. (not something I've ever thought about regarding someone looking at me)

      Other minor and random interactions in the scope of friendliness with other characters. Me and H talk a bit more. Then, I'm outside the car.

      I'm sort of standing at the midway point of a crossing that people are using. I'm still within talking distance of H and eventually we agree on something and I walk off. (much recall detail was lost, everything was fairly lively)

      (recall gap)

      Then, at a supermarket. I'm walking around trying to find something nice for us to have for lunch, even though some part of me remembers (false memory) making some sandwiches in buns. I end up finding a pastry aisle and I see some meat pasties which I'm interested in getting. I'm not sure where I should put them. I ask an attendant about bags or anything and she says "no, sorry" or something, and I realise that she doesn't actually speak much English. I walk back to the pastries area and eventually spot some paper bags cramped under something. Then, when I grab some they are actually cut out plastic bottles, though I don't realise this during the dream.

      I use two to find two meat pasties which are now in some slick plastic cases and stuff them in the bottles. While I'm walking about I see a load of people at an entrance door and then they're all looking around the aisle. I realise on some level they're students.

      (I woke up at some point and I remember falling asleep thinking about how I didn't realise I was dreaming with the previous night's dreams)


      9th January 2022

      Fragment:

      In old home kitchen. I grab off the counter some ten by ten printed canvas which is wrapped in heatshrink (clear?). On the canvas is a young man and a woman, they're sitting on a boat or something and there's water behind them. They're family somehow; my nephew/niece, but older? She's sitting and wearing a white dress and a broad white hat. She has golden loop earrings. He's standing and wearing something darker, black or navy. Everything in the painting is moving slightly, the waves are alive and the two are looking towards the point of view and smiling.

      (this dream was especially vivid in my mind at the time for a while and the idea of a canvas with moving imagery was very exciting at the time)
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