Recent DJ Posts

2005/2006 (From my old journal)

I'm posting prior dreams here as I begin attempting to lucid dream again. This one and the Becoming Golden dream are two of my first. I cannot remember if this was first or the Golden Dream was first but both have never left me and were incredible dreams - both were lucid.

I went to sleep as normal as I had not begun intentionally LD'ing or even trying to recall my dreams.

While still dreaming, I found myself on a sidewalk, in my nightgown, at nighttime. A streetlight was to my left and I kind of was standing beneath it, I guess. I was on a corner and a traffic light was turning yellow and then red. I felt that I was waiting for something but I had no idea what i was waiting for. To my left, stood a lady, also in her pajamas. I didn't pay attention to what she wore. She had her head back and was staring up at the dark sky.

I copied her and looked up at the stars. It was a clear night and the stars sparkled except for a dark patch that was shaped like a triangle. I heard a dog bark off in the distance and crickets were chirping. I kind of thought that was a weird detail for a dream. Anyways, after I noticed the dark triangle patch in the sky that blocked out the stars, I realized this dark patch was descending...or getting bigger. Then, I just said in my dream, "I knew they were real." And I turned to look at the lady beside me to see if she saw the craft too. Her head was still back. She had on a white nightgown - I now noticed. I think I snickered at her. I remember thinking - huh, they don't have any lights on, but why would they unless they wanted someone to see them.

I turned my attention skyward again and the feakin' triangular thing was about 6 feet off the ground. It hovered above me! It blocked out the entire sky from my view. Now, light emmenated from beneath the object, but I couldn't detect or see any actual lights. It just glowed. (still not lucid)

I spun in a circle. The woman was gone. I was now in the middle of the street, but I couldn't recall walking or moving to get there. A cool white light engulfed me, and, as if I'd turned a switch from off to on I arrived in a gray metallic room. My pulse pounded at my wrists. There was NO transition. No intermediate locale. I was standing in the street, outside, on the blacktop, and then I wasn't.

(still not lucid but beginning to freak out)

The room was dimly lit with the same kind of lights as were on the object's underbelly. I couldn't see a light bulb or any indentation where a light could be. No furniture. No pictures. Just a gray room. Except it was small - maybe 10X10 feet max.

I wiped my hand on my thigh and realized I was still wearing my nightgown. (I think I started to become aware) I looked up and saw in the corner of the room a being - the typical big headed, black eyes, grayish body - standing. Whether she, and I say she because I knew it was female, had always been there in my dream or materialized, I don't know. Anyways, I noticed she had blonde hair. And that triggered my awareness. I don't know why but it was like I had been slowly waking up after I showed up in this gray room thing.

I stared at this creature and thought, quite deliberately, You're not supposed to have hair. Pale blonde hair covered her light bulb shaped head! It has to be a wig, I thought, again quite intentionally. She tilted her big head and then sent me this thought. It was THE coolest thing! I just got like a complete sentence dumped into my consciousness: She wore it to make me comfortable. Her slit of a mouth never moved I felt her intention and I also felt comforted. She seemed to smile but her mouth remained motionless.

Oh my God! They're real! They exist! And a big grin spread across my face. Then, I felt her happiness. I felt that she was pleased with my reaction.

I spoke aloud, Am I dreaming? And it was at this point that I knew I was 'awake' because I began to feel more and question things. But as if in response to my own question I got the answer, No, you're not dreaming. It kind of echoed in my head, you're not dreaming. That freaked me out. I began to look around and realized that the other lady was not with me. So, I asked the creature, where the other lady was. She told me it was not my concern. She was on her own tour and not to worry! Holy crap!

My heart started racing at this point because I just felt awake and I felt and saw everything. It was too freakin' wacky! My knees got wobbly yet I know outwardly I remained calm.

She asked me, in my head, which is kind of weird because I was already in my head , if I wanted my tour now? She motioned with her long, bony arms toward a door behind me. I turned around and a door slid silently into a wall - like the ones on star trek, except this one made no sound.

Outside was a hallway that was also gray (what is it with gray and my dreams???) and had subdued lighting. I followed her down this hall and it turned slightly and opened up. The lighting here was strong and bright. It was a white light but again no actual light bulbs could be seen. AND the fact that I was checking for freakin' light bulbs bothered me. This new area felt like and reminded me of the center of a mall. It was like the center of the craft??? It was all white and lit. There were many light bulb head creatures roaming around. Some held see through clipboard type things but they weren't clip boards. It was like a see through computer screen or something. I don't know. Anyways, they didn't seem to notice me or mind me.

In the back of this space, was a cylinder, clear glass or plastic. And I watched a few aliens go into it and then it shot straight up - like an elevator. There were tropical plants in front of the tube elevator. These creatures wore tunic type of clothes with pants. The colors they wore were pastels - no primary colors - yet.

We moved on and followed the curved wall in the hall. It seemed to go around this central hub. And as we walked I got this feeling she had a surprise for me. She hoped I 'd like it. At the end of this hall was another large room. It had row after row of seats - orange seats with a metal frame. The whole area seemed like an airport waiting area to me. On the left side of the room were windows - it was black outside though so I couldn't see anything out these windows. But the weirdest thing was these chairs and what was on them.

On every single chair, was a photograph. Each photo was of a different person - all humans. She kept on walking until she got about halfway back and then she stopped. I got this feeling that I might see my grandparents who had been dead for many years. She motioned with her long, twig-like arm for me to move into the aisle. I shuffled down the aisle like I was in a movie theater. And when I was halfway down that aisle she motioned for me to stop by holding up her long arm with four spindly fingers. I looked down at the chairs and there was this photograph of a man, Indian in nationality. He had dark hair and dark skin, dark eyes. He appeared to be in his forties, maybe or fifties. I don't know. And to the chair on my left was a woman with dark hair in a bun on top of her head, I think. She too was Indian. I stared at the photos and then looked back at this alien. She 'asked' me if I knew these people. I did not.

No sooner did I have that thought that everything changed.

She put up this mental wall so I couldn't feel her anymore. I don't know how else to explain it. But I felt cold and alone and frightened. I felt as if I'd made a wrong choice or said the wrong thing and everything spiraled out of control. From the back of this room came ten or more of these creatures. They surrounded me and pushed the chairs out of the way. They forced me to the ground with my right shoulder down (I think) and left shoulder was up. I saw one of these freaks had a syringe in its hand that contained an orange, syrupy solution. I began to yell and thrash telling her I was sorry that I could try again. But I had no sense that she was even there anymore. Then, they stuck me with this syringe and....of course...I woke up!!! FREAKIN' WEIRD...

2007/2006


This was my first lucid dream or one of my first. I had no particular method to recall dreams when this one occurred, nor had I been attempting LDing. What I had been doing was meditating using Metamusic with Binural Beats. I believe I was in the early stages of meditating when this dream occurred.

I went to bed at night, as usual, and during sleep, dreamed that I was in a gray room, where there were three metal tables and three other women. The edges of this room could not be seen as they appeared too dark or too blurry. The lighting was very dim. I noticed that one woman was lying prostrate upon one of the metal tables to my right. Another woman, stood to my left, and she was preparing herself to lie down upon the table. The middle table was for me. To the right of all three tables stood a woman. I felt that she belonged here, whereas the two women near the tables and I did not belong in this world. The woman was waiting for me and I knew I had been here before. I also knew what was expected of me. This all felt very dream-like but yet I had some sense I was dreaming; however, I was not 'conscience'.

I walked towards this woman, turned my back to her, lifted my hair, and then she did something to my neck. I let my hair fall back down and walked to the middle table. Looking toward the first lady that had been standing when I entered this room, I noticed she was now lying down. I hopped up onto the table; which reminded me of a doctor's examination table or those metal food carts that you see on airplanes, but larger. It was rather warm considering it's appearance. I think this is where I began to wake up but yet I was still not in control - still not fully alert.

As I lay upon the table, I felt myself slip out and up from my body - like a shooting scarf, or bit of smoke. My point of view changed. I was above the tables. Below me, was this flattened, clothed figure lying upon the middle table. The figure looked like a squeezed, empty tube of toothpaste. Then, I looked at the face. It was me. I recognized it as me but became confused because I was hovering above this figure.

It was at this point that I became lucid - during the confusion. I looked at the body on the table and had a conscious thought: If that was me on the table, then what do I look like now? I purposefully brought my left hand up and waved it before my eyes. My hand was a translucent gold, filled with tiny bits of golden glitter that sparkled. I was in awe, and my mind just began reeling. I felt elated and so light. All my senses kicked in, and I was awake - in my dream. Over and over I thought, I'm so beautiful. Look how beautiful I am.

In the next moment, a voice gently chided me. It may have been my own, I am not certain. But it said, "Stop admiring yourself. You have work to do." And with that thought or that acknowledgement, I became determined. My entire being was filled with utter peace, lightness, and I had no sense of this world...not my husband, not my children, not any problem at all. I felt completely accepted and loved. I have tried to 'feel' that since and it is nearly impossible to do.

In my dream, I thought, I am here to help someone and the next instant I was moving. My body was like smoke or wind. I flew above these people that seemed to be working in an office. They were all at desks. Some of them were in chairs that rolled, and they rolled from their desks to filing cabinets while keeping the handsets of phones tucked between their shoulders and cheeks. It was all movement below me. But I knew I wasn't there for these people. I was to meet someone else.

I could feel wind over my form and seemed to move with a thought. I remember loving the freedom and the unbelievable lightness.

The woman I was to help stood at the bottom of a staircase. I floated up to her. She was elderly, terrified, and crying. I wondered why she was so frightened and tried to comfort her but soon realized that she couldn't see or hear me. It became a sort of puzzle - how was I supposed to help someone that had no idea I was there? I floated in front of and behind her and then settled on floating slightly behind her.

She took tentative steps toward the top of the staircase, which seemed like any concrete staircase with a black metal railing, in any typical office building. I understood that I was to get her to the top of the stairs - and calm her down. How was that to be done when I was like the wind? This all felt so real and so alive. Yet, the whole time I had this feeling of utter peace and love and had no recall of earth. If that makes ANY sense.

I began sending her - or perhaps thinking is a better word - love and comfort. I felt her fear and her trepidation, but it never changed my overall emotional status of utter peace. This woman, with white hair, slowly made her way to the top of the staircase. I felt her fear ease until she reached the last step. As I hovered near her, I too saw the top of the landing. It was a cloud-like environment and brightly lit. Off in the distance was a bridge. Yeah, corny, I know. I thought so in the dream too but yet, I knew she had to cross it. It was an arched bridge like one you might see at a Putt-Putt course. Beneath this bridge was nothing but I expected there to be a small stream. On the other side of the bridge, was a heavier fog. I could see nothing beyond the bridge. I knew I was not to travel over the bridge and knew that no matter how hard I might try, I would not be able to get on the bridge. Strangely, I had no desire to try.

The woman's fear rose when she took in her surroundings, and I was reminded that I was there for her. I needed to calm her and get her to cross the bridge. I thought, everything will be all right. Go on. And I kept thinking that. It was strange because - being conscious in a dream - in such a BIZARRE world but being able to take things in and feel and think is just WEIRD and WONDERFUL at the same time.

Anyways, I watched the woman shuffle her way to the bridge. As she stepped on the bridge, her fear vanished, and she was enveloped by the fog or clouds. The next thing I felt was being sucked backwards. It was like a trigger - her crossing the bridge. I was being sucked backwards, like liquid through a straw. Then, I opened my eyes. I was lying in bed. My husband was still asleep. And I felt awful! All the weight of the real world fell in on me. All my problems - the gravity of this world - the flaws I have and the complete love, acceptance, and warmth was gone.

I tried so many times to return to that world - to that dream - but have never been able to replicate that one. I had others, but never that one. It occurred more than five years ago now. I have had several DILDs since, but that was my introduction to becoming lucid while dreaming.