Recent DJ Posts

so the dream start off I'm having sex then I die when I see a exploding star in the night start shining from lighting streaks as the lighting streaks start shooting from the exploding star I dream that I close my eyes an when I wake up I'm still shooting lighting streaks as the lighting streaks are coming out of my body i fall asleep then fall asleep to wake up again

Again, I really suck at keeping a dream journal because I either always startle awake and lose most of the dream, or I'm just lazy and don't write anything down. But this dream has stuck with me for like two months now and I want to share it, mainly hoping someone might have some insight? Opinions? I dunno. It just freaked me out.

I don't remember much because I woke up so terrified I was on the verge of crying. What I do remember, though, is an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. I'm at my boyfriends house, and we're having a normal day. Watching the game and folding laundry. I remember he's sitting across from me, and he checks the time. He makes this face like, 'huh, that time already', and he stands up. He shuts off the TV, and for a while he just stands still. I'm staring up at him perplexed because we never shut off the game. Ever. And he just turns and walks towards his room and motions for me to follow.

"What's going on?" I ask him as I come around the corner, and I freeze. He's standing by his bed holding his shotgun, and he looks almost apologetic.

"We need to kill ourselves today, remember?"

I just stare at him. He's so calm, and I'm being calm, but again terror is flooding me and I begin to internally panic.

"What do you mean? I don't want to kill myself!" And I remember having a distinct fear of dying. I am terrified to die.

This is very, very interesting for me, because IRL death doesn't scare me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal or anything, but the thought of death intrigues me and fascinates me, and never in my life have I EVER been afraid of dying. Ever. It's not a fear for me. The few times I've been in actual life-or-death situations my literal inner monologue was 'huh. well, whatever happens, happens.' So for me to have a fear towards death was so perplexing enough it actually snapped me into lucidity immediately.

But the weird thing was, even being lucid, I wasn't able to staunch the paralyzing fear of dying. Even though I knew that I was dreaming and I knew I shouldn't be afraid of death because I normally am not, I couldn't it.

So at this point my boyfriend has his shotgun and he sits on the bed. There's a bit in between I don't recall, but the overwhelming fear of dying is constant. I remember sitting on the bed, and he hands me the shotgun.

"Go first. Kill yourself and I'll be right behind you."

I had an overwhelming urge to run. Up until I was lucid, committing suicide had been the goal of my dream self. And now that I was lucid and I wanted to live, I couldn't change the outcome of the dream. I remember holding the shotgun and crying because I was so scared to die.

When I woke up, I was crying. It took me almost an hour to calm down, and when I did, I couldn't shake the fear of death. Once I woke up the next morning the fear itself was gone, but the feeling of that dream followed me all day.

I may have just had my first lucid.

In the dream, I was in a first-person video game. The backstory: I am an old, undead man whose wife is afraid of him and I need to catch her. I could see myself (well, my undead, dream self) in a mirror in a bathroom. The bathroom looked like my grandmother's, but nothing else did. Eventually, something happened and I was in front of the mirror again, but I looked like an Asian man. I said, "Wait, we're Asian now?" and, "Wait, am I dreaming again?" I plugged my nose and could still breathe (though it felt strange), so I knew I was dreaming. I closed my eyes and said, "Clean slate," and the dream world became a blank, white space. I closed my eyes and said my crush's name and she appeared. I immediately started having sex with her, but it felt strange. I felt detached. It didn't feel like I was *ahem* thrusting. In fact, the dream switched to third-person and ended quickly. Unfortunately, I wasn't tired enough to re-enter the dream.

Now, I'm not entirely sure this was a true lucid. I didn't feel truly concious and felt detached, as I said before. Also, the sex part didn't go as I had planned it; I had planned to do a bit of romance and foreplay, as opposed to mindlessly diving into it.

I think I either a.) was dreaming about being lucid or b.) attained lucidity, then lost it. Either way, it's progress!

It is daytime and I am at a playground. This girl who I will call 'C' is with me and cannot keep up. She stops running and catches her breath. "I'll catch up with you later" she says. I then grab her and told her "Don't you know you are dreaming!?" All of a sudden C gets re-energized and has this yellow aura around her. Both of us are chasing another girl. As I run I can feel the wind blowing against me. I yell out to the other girl "I know I am dreaming!!" (But I have no lucidity at all) Both of the girls get on a vehicle and I try to chase them down. "he's trying to chase us like an idiot" the other girl says. She then says "That is why I invented Denzel Washington"