Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

lol just reading through my dream journal and found a couple I thought were funny...none of these were lucid.

My mom brings me a bowl of strawberries and says, "Here, eat this. I don't want you to get Grene Gaga." I understood that was a combination of gangrene and Lady Gaga. the worst ailment possible xD

Some girl had written a book called "I Am Canada" and wanted to choose a gender-neutral name to put on the cover, so she chose 'A.D. Bearnz'. I asked where the last name came from and she replied, "It's external."

Not spoken, but I got a t-shirt from this candy store with a monster on the front that said something like, "well you've been breastfeeding" except more engrishy.

Random fat old lady: (for no reason) "That reminds me of the time Little Jeremy tracked poop all over the carpet..."

Friend: (urgently, totally interrupting a conversation) "Is there anywhere we can go around here to get some cheesecake?!"

Had a false awakening once. Some Italian guy climbed through the window. When I asked him what he was doing he said, "Climbing" in a slow voice and then grinned crazily. I went and pushed him out of the window and about 10 seconds later heard him say, "Oh no," in a distinctive italian accent.
lol.

I just realized that none of my DCs ever talk to me.

*I'm walking across a playing field at the back of my house, I notice an old woman with a huge dog with a spiked collar on the other side of the field*
random old lady: 'oooh look at that tree, I love a nice tree, go and fetch me that tree!'
*lets dog loose, dog chases me back to my house*

This week I dreamt I was on the run from someone. He caught me and I sympathetically said "Hewwo." As you do. He caught me by the neck and I asked "Who are you?"
He imitated me and said "Wob." (Rob).
"Hewwo Wob," I said, "I've got a wet sponge." I then threw said sponge which I'd conjured from nowhere into his face, and he retaliated with pine cones. I very quickly was able to overpower him and threw him under some tables. I then fled the scene down the street with a table in each hand.

Why aren't my dreams funnyyyyy gahhhhhh

Jimi Hendrix, I meet him at a desert party after he morphs out of the form of a Sasquatch. He proceeds to give me life advice about living in the moment and then offers me some anti-depressants i pick the up but refute the offer to take them at which point he slaps them out of my hand and says, "Good, Anti-depressants are bad."

ooh I remembered one from myself!

*notices magazine under a pillow*
Me: European porn, European porn is better than American Porn!
Jack from eastenders: really?
Me: HELL YEAH!

^influenced by reading dave mustaines auto-biography the night of the dream, 'the first thing I noticed as I walked in was the gigantic stack of danish porn on the nightstand, this wasnt like a mainstream American skin magazine, but just hardcore European wierdness.'

Originally Posted by dreamerer

No one probably reads this any more but...

I am trying to escape from this casle/jail like place in the middle of nowhere. I don't know how to escape though. I see the leader of this place standing infront of me. Being observant, I notice that there are tons of boxes on the ground. Somehow I know they are filled with cheese. So I say:

"You sure have a lot of cheese, but cheese doesn't have a lot of you!"

Somehow that statement was the key to escaping...

I swear that has to come straight from the dreaming Buffy episode...

I was camping with my dad and brother when my dad ran up to me, screamed "DIE!" and commenced to smash the door of one of those Victorian lamp-posts into my head...

I remember a more recent one just now... My librarian and Sirius Black are standing with me by a big cupboard. Sirius says "Where is it!?" and I see an image in my mind of the Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets game. I look through the cupboard an can't find it. He looks at my Librarian and says to me, ", then he will have to make a new one..."

"Do you know who Sun 'Nickle' Bun is?... Well, his first name's Sun and his last name's Bun."

That's because you never talk to them. It's your dream, you need to make the first move.

XD From a witch hunt :

Some friends from university and I are sitting on a hill. We are talking about the exams.
Suddenly my old mathteacher from high-school appears and gives us tests. We don't want to write the exam.

DC: She's a witch! Let's destroy her!

He starts running towards her and pushes her down the hill. Everyone (me included) starts to laugh and we throw the test down hills.

OnceI showed my mother my hands (Which where morphing and changing shape) in a bid to convince her that this was a dream to which she replied "Don't be silly! My hands always look wrong when I first wake up, I have a red one and a blue one..."

Originally Posted by Morte

OnceI showed my mother my hands (Which where morphing and changing shape) in a bid to convince her that this was a dream to which she replied "Don't be silly! My hands always look wrong when I first wake up, I have a red one and a blue one..."

Yeah, that sounds like something a DC would say.

I gotta 'nother one that just outright didn't make sense.

I was in my kitchen putting some seeds in the dishwasher (?) When my mother walks in and says to me "Did you get an icecream thrown at you at school today?" I replied "No...." and she said "Hm... Must be all the nicotine from those bannannas"
WHAT?!

Originally Posted by Morte

I gotta 'nother one that just outright didn't make sense.

I was in my kitchen putting some seeds in the dishwasher (?) When my mother walks in and says to me "Did you get an icecream thrown at you at school today?" I replied "No...." and she said "Hm... Must be all the nicotine from those bannannas"
WHAT?!

This definitely makes no sense at all xD

Originally Posted by Morte

I gotta 'nother one that just outright didn't make sense.

I was in my kitchen putting some seeds in the dishwasher (?) When my mother walks in and says to me "Did you get an icecream thrown at you at school today?" I replied "No...." and she said "Hm... Must be all the nicotine from those bannannas"
WHAT?!

Ye-e-e-a, you're doing more than B complex before you go to bed Morte.

Just last night in one of my dreams:

While having sex with my girlfriend, she randomly goes: "Oh Yeah! Put in my alligator!"

Lol... I was clueless.

After becoming lucid and explaining to my DC roommate how awesome it is to be lucid she opened the window, pointed to the sky, and with a smile said "There's God...Go and get him"

I was sitting at my kitchen table with my mom sometime in the afternoon and suddenly she starts to yell, "They took the children!"
Me: "Who, who did?"
My Mom DC: "The Canadian police."
Me: "And why did they?"
My Mom DC: "Because they melted their ice rinks!"

Thanks for the news flash mother...

Not hat amusing but a little odd. I was walking through a school courtyard (several years ago) and a classmate came outside, hald hid behind a pillar and asked, conspirationally "Are we looking for The Hood?"

I honestly had no response to that.


And another occasion...
Me: did you shave me while I was asleep?
DC: No, are you sure you didn't?
Me: ...I don't know...

Two guys in my old high school class are doing a presentation on Microsoft Excel. One of them highlights a few cells.

Teacher: It's funny
Student: I highlighted the cells. What's so funny?
Teacher: Well guess what?! It looks like a happy pickle!

Random person on street: MY GOD, MAN. Have you seen your frillies? Absotutely [sic] brillant. I can see them with my toes. (pulls out monocle and umbrella, floats away)