Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Originally Posted by Rums03

I woke up a little after 1PM to use the restroom, and when I got back in bed I heard a loud sound in my head. It sounded like a the page option on a 2 way radio, and then my whole body went numb. Heh, I had to turn the tv on because it kinda spooked me.

Exploding head syndrome - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I've had it before too, quite a few times. Nothing to worry about, just weird sleep phase stuff I think.

Rant: I've been waiting over a year for my mum to finish clearing her stuff out of the garage so I can put my Isolation Tank in there. I can't even finish building it yet because it won't last outside, external components aren't water proof etc. Now my sister and her retarded bf have moved in, and she says he is going to put car tools and bikes in the garage....
FUCK. NO. Fuck off!
Can't just barge in here and change everything without even consulting the people who already live here!
She says I can't put my tank in there because there won't be any room for all his stuff. Then I said, well that's too bad then coz I'm putting it in there, he'll have to use the shed.
Then she says "maybe you should share, there's enough room". WHAT THE FUCK!??? You literally JUST said there is not enough room, you stupid fuck.

I don't care, I said if he puts his stuff in there I may have to tamper with things. It's total bullshit. And she got pissed off when I went to my mum's house once when she lived there, just to grab something and didn't say hi to her.
I didn't say hi, big deal.... but she thinks it's totally ok to mess up my plans without even consulting me at all?
Arrogant bitch....

This is going to lead to household war. And I will win.

Lol tommo! You reminded me about all the positive things since my sis moved out. Good luck bro.

Rant/Rave: I pulled an allnighter to reset my sleep cycle, and it's 8:43 am now. I'm going to school in an hour for two lessons... I'm already nearly falling off my chair, lol. Well... gotta get back to today. Once it's 9pm and I'm in bed then this will be a rave instead of a rant. I feel like shit now hehe, but it'll pass and it's for the better anyhow so I'm cool with it.

I actually have no school today because of all the snow. I ended up sleeping until 2 p.m.

I really want to stop meeting girls that are complete idiots, i fucking hate the way these things play out for me

Cutie I've been seeing for the past few months left me because she's having an existential crisis and doesn't think I can "understand".

That feel when I've been studying philosophy for what feels like forever at this point

(she doesn't know what existentialism is and thinks her pain is unique)

Originally Posted by SnowyCat

Cutie I've been seeing for the past few months left me because she's having an existential crisis and doesn't think I can "understand".

That feel when I've been studying philosophy for what feels like forever at this point

(she doesn't know what existentialism is and thinks her pain is unique)

Had that happen to me and wouldn't you know it a few days later she found someone who apparently understands

On topic: I want my heel injury to heal up, so i could go skateboarding. I REALLY WANT TO GO SKATEBOARDING. I have to change my guitar strings, but i don't have money.
I wish i have a romance thingy happen to me and people would write books and movies, about the cuteness of it. (Really i just want a fucking decent relationship.)

"(Really i just want a fucking decent relationship.)"
Tell me about it, this is something i get depressed about quite often, even my dreams don't give me that quite yet.

I cannot find the motivation/discipline to study. I need to catch up to year 12 level maths and probably chemistry before I start university (if I'm accepted). Chemistry is probably less important coz it's basically maths.
But I can't get myself to just bloody sit down and learn. I do a few minutes here and there, occasionally an hour or more, but I had ALL DAY today to study, and I did nothing. Just some gardening and then drank and went on Reddit for the rest of the day, and looked up meditation bowls that I can't even get sent to Australia coz.... well, no other reason than Amazon sucks.

I really need to learn to turn my focus on to more productive things. I mean my focus is terrible, pretty sure I have ADD, but if I can get in to something, I can focus for hours.
I need to train that.

And I need to stop drinking. It's so relaxing though.

@Tommo, what are you thinking of doing in college?

Rave: Turns out I only start college again on the 27, I'll have had 6 weeks off, this is insane.

Spoiler for My last couple days:

I got back to Vancouver yesterday. What happened after my last post was, we had a miserable couple days. The 6-hour drive up to Thunder Bay, ON was depressing because once we got to the airport I'd be leaving. Only glimpse of sunshine on that ride was seeing a couple mooses which I've never seen before. It felt like we were in purgatory. An everlasting goodbye. I've always dreaded, both with him and my ex S/O, the last day and the moment of having to leave. It's just so fucking depressing, enough so that I almost feel it isn't worth it to visit and dread it from the beginning. And this goodbye seemed to be dragging on forever. That's what the car ride wasn't fun. We both just wanted me to leave so it could be over with. The only way I could make myself feel better temporarily was to consider that it could be worse, that he could be dying or going off to war or something. We could live in past years when there was no internet and it was a real goodbye. But it was still depressing. There's something about being with someone physically that can't be replicated even through Skype.

Anyway... when we got there, my flight had been cancelled because the airport in Toronto had 73,000 people held up there and flights were delayed. The airline agent gave me a direct number and told me I could try calling tomorrow, but there was a 50/50 chance of there being a flight. So we had to get a hotel for the night. I cannot describe how upsetting this was. The torment of leaving was going to last even longer. We'd both thought that after all that time it was finally going to be over. And in addition, if we'd known that, we'd have had a much more enjoyable car ride, not to mention the night we'd stayed up all night believing it would be the last night. If we'd known, we could have enjoyed all that time instead of trying not to watch the clock. I was barely managing to hold back my tears and probably would have been crying if I hadn't cried so much earlier, which had been my first time crying in months. I just wanted to get out of there, but had to spend another sad night with him. The hotel was small but nice. There was free internet access but we didn't have a laptop. It was my first time watching actual TV in years. He didn't even have a change of clothes, a toothbrush or anything.

Finally, I think it was just too much stress, we stopped caring. I was glad I was there again, appreciating him more and more. It was nice to be alone rather than at his parents' house. Even though I was missing another day of school and should have been rushing to get out of there, I began to want to stay. The whole thing was ridiculously bitter-sweet. I'm trying to express that here but doubt I'm doing it justice. It was comedic too, in a way, at that point. Anyway... going into way too much detail here and have probably made it personal enough. The next morning, I called the airline. At this point we were both hoping there would be no flights, but I wanted to get the call over with so that we could enjoy the rest of the day. But there was a flight leaving in an hour. I had to be at the airport in the next half hour. I wanted so badly to say no but couldn't for many reasons - school, he had to be home and I didn't want to prolong it any longer. So we had to rush to pack. So it was done in half an hour but it was still difficult. I did not feel like leaving at that time. Neither of us expected it. The whole time it felt like some god was trying to torture us and was... maliciously laughing.

Anyway... I shouldn't have typed that because I've been rushing to do school work. I definitely didn't plan to type it out and am not sure how I feel about it. It's personal information I'd never tell anyone individually. But here it's more public so it doesn't feel like it matters as much or something, because I'm not talking to anyone in particular. Plus, there's more that I could say which I won't. As always, a planned quick rant turned into something huge. I missed two days of school and have an assignment due tomorrow, so I better start it.

I badly need a vacation..I haven't had one since I started my current job. It's been more than a year now. Problem is, I don't know where to go. I could go stay with my family, but that will not count as a vacation because they'll force me to go and meet every relative near and far, and I will not have time to relax. I need time away from people. Travelling alone to a vacation spot seems risky too. I'm so confused and bored.

My weight gain plan is just not working. When I increase my food intake, my stomach feels queasy and I start throwing up. Everything I ate for dinner yesterday, was out in half an hour. I didn't sleep well due to stomachache. However it did help me have my first LD of the year. I tried to have sex with a DC and failed epically, about which I have written in my workbook. Still happy about the unexpected LD, especially since I stopped practising half a year ago.

Originally Posted by Anju

I badly need a vacation..I haven't had one since I started my current job. It's been more than a year now. Problem is, I don't know where to go. I could go stay with my family, but that will not count as a vacation because they'll force me to go and meet every relative near and far, and I will not have time to relax. I need time away from people. Travelling alone to a vacation spot seems risky too. I'm so confused and bored.

My weight gain plan is just not working. When I increase my food intake, my stomach feels queasy and I start throwing up. Everything I ate for dinner yesterday, was out in half an hour. I didn't sleep well due to stomachache. However it did help me have my first LD of the year. I tried to have sex with a DC and failed epically, about which I have written in my workbook. Still happy about the unexpected LD, especially since I stopped practising half a year ago.

there are a lot of beautiful vacation spots near india.
I have the same problem to. I need to gain 15kgs . I am 50kgs now and 175 cms tall

Originally Posted by LouaiB

there are a lot of beautiful vacation spots near india.
I have the same problem to. I need to gain 15kgs . I am 50kgs now and 175 cms tall

Sure, I know there are a lot of vacation spots. But India is not a safe place to travel alone, for a girl.

I'm 40 kg and 155 cm tall. I don't know how much I need to gain, but I'd be happy with an additional 3 kg. Considering that I haven't gained a single kilogram in the past 7 years, I'd be happy if I even gain 1 kg.

Life has been pretty nice. Since my psychedelic experiments, I have had no clusters of any sort, no depression, and no anxiety. I am a bit frustrated due to a flare up of Thygeson's, but I got that in control, and I still managed to clock in a full 40 hours this week at work (working from home). I started school on Monday too, so that was kinda cool. I'm in a weird transitional place where I want something better with work, but I love the freedom I have. Maybe I will start applying at places for part time work. My goal is to volunteer/work at some place this summer that's related to my degree.

I do hate that I always forget to come here daily. This site has been so good to me.

Originally Posted by Anju

Sure, I know there are a lot of vacation spots. But India is not a safe place to travel alone, for a girl.

I'm 40 kg and 155 cm tall. I don't know how much I need to gain, but I'd be happy with an additional 3 kg. Considering that I haven't gained a single kilogram in the past 7 years, I'd be happy if I even gain 1 kg.

And they say weight loss is hard
of course, you shouldn't travel through india alone. Can you afford a vacation ouside india?

Originally Posted by LouaiB

Can you afford a vacation ouside india?

I don't have a passport

Right, so I just posted in the "cheerful" thread about me going to 3rd shift. Now I'm going to complain. Because I'm trying to just stay up all night, then in the morning I'm going to go out and buy a few things before I go to sleep. But it's not even 12:45am yet, and the shop opens at 9:30am. Soooo, I'm already bored. Normally, I don't think I'll mind being up all night, but I've been up all day as well and have already gotten everything done that needs to be done, so... I guess... I'll just play minecraft... for 9 hours? Yea, I could probably do that, actually.

Edit: Speaking of India ^, some guys from the company I work for left for India today. We work with a factory out there, so some guys from my company are going out there to talk to them about some of the newer machines we've been using.

Hmmm... the only not so positive thing I can think of right now, is how tedious it'll be for me to take down the Christmas tree in the morning. It's not really a rant, or a complaint, but that's all I have at the moment.

Originally Posted by dutchraptor

@Tommo, what are you thinking of doing in college?

Rave: Turns out I only start college again on the 27, I'll have had 6 weeks off, this is insane.

Eventually Bachelor of Science, hopefully. Right now, if I get in, just a course that will allow me in to BSc.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

Spoiler for My last couple days:

I got back to Vancouver yesterday. What happened after my last post was, we had a miserable couple days. The 6-hour drive up to Thunder Bay, ON was depressing because once we got to the airport I'd be leaving. Only glimpse of sunshine on that ride was seeing a couple mooses which I've never seen before. It felt like we were in purgatory. An everlasting goodbye. I've always dreaded, both with him and my ex S/O, the last day and the moment of having to leave. It's just so fucking depressing, enough so that I almost feel it isn't worth it to visit and dread it from the beginning. And this goodbye seemed to be dragging on forever. That's what the car ride wasn't fun. We both just wanted me to leave so it could be over with. The only way I could make myself feel better temporarily was to consider that it could be worse, that he could be dying or going off to war or something. We could live in past years when there was no internet and it was a real goodbye. But it was still depressing. There's something about being with someone physically that can't be replicated even through Skype.

Anyway... when we got there, my flight had been cancelled because the airport in Toronto had 73,000 people held up there and flights were delayed. The airline agent gave me a direct number and told me I could try calling tomorrow, but there was a 50/50 chance of there being a flight. So we had to get a hotel for the night. I cannot describe how upsetting this was. The torment of leaving was going to last even longer. We'd both thought that after all that time it was finally going to be over. And in addition, if we'd known that, we'd have had a much more enjoyable car ride, not to mention the night we'd stayed up all night believing it would be the last night. If we'd known, we could have enjoyed all that time instead of trying not to watch the clock. I was barely managing to hold back my tears and probably would have been crying if I hadn't cried so much earlier, which had been my first time crying in months. I just wanted to get out of there, but had to spend another sad night with him. The hotel was small but nice. There was free internet access but we didn't have a laptop. It was my first time watching actual TV in years. He didn't even have a change of clothes, a toothbrush or anything.

Finally, I think it was just too much stress, we stopped caring. I was glad I was there again, appreciating him more and more. It was nice to be alone rather than at his parents' house. Even though I was missing another day of school and should have been rushing to get out of there, I began to want to stay. The whole thing was ridiculously bitter-sweet. I'm trying to express that here but doubt I'm doing it justice. It was comedic too, in a way, at that point. Anyway... going into way too much detail here and have probably made it personal enough. The next morning, I called the airline. At this point we were both hoping there would be no flights, but I wanted to get the call over with so that we could enjoy the rest of the day. But there was a flight leaving in an hour. I had to be at the airport in the next half hour. I wanted so badly to say no but couldn't for many reasons - school, he had to be home and I didn't want to prolong it any longer. So we had to rush to pack. So it was done in half an hour but it was still difficult. I did not feel like leaving at that time. Neither of us expected it. The whole time it felt like some god was trying to torture us and was... maliciously laughing.

Anyway... I shouldn't have typed that because I've been rushing to do school work. I definitely didn't plan to type it out and am not sure how I feel about it. It's personal information I'd never tell anyone individually. But here it's more public so it doesn't feel like it matters as much or something, because I'm not talking to anyone in particular. Plus, there's more that I could say which I won't. As always, a planned quick rant turned into something huge. I missed two days of school and have an assignment due tomorrow, so I better start it.

That sounds good, apart from all the bad stuff. You had days extra that you realised you should have just enjoyed, like the last night, instead of being upset that you were leaving soon. That's what living in the present is all about. Takes a while to learn to do that though.

Originally Posted by Anju

I badly need a vacation..I haven't had one since I started my current job. It's been more than a year now. Problem is, I don't know where to go. I could go stay with my family, but that will not count as a vacation because they'll force me to go and meet every relative near and far, and I will not have time to relax. I need time away from people. Travelling alone to a vacation spot seems risky too. I'm so confused and bored.

My weight gain plan is just not working. When I increase my food intake, my stomach feels queasy and I start throwing up. Everything I ate for dinner yesterday, was out in half an hour. I didn't sleep well due to stomachache. However it did help me have my first LD of the year. I tried to have sex with a DC and failed epically, about which I have written in my workbook. Still happy about the unexpected LD, especially since I stopped practising half a year ago.

I was about to respond, then basically had the exact conversation in my head that you and louaib had lol
So many beautiful places in India, but quite risky alone. Are there any places that are less risky? Maybe in more natural/less populated areas?
I spose you'd still have to travel to those places anyway....
Damn that sucks that you can't even go somewhere alone.
You could always make friends with some people along the way? Non-Indians. There are a lot of tourists there these days.

Is it hard to get a passport in India?

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh h

Rave - Hung out with that girl again today, we made out, alot!@#@!$@#$%)))))

Rave - I feel empowered!@$#%^%^*&^&(*)&)

Rant - Still on the dry spell

Rave - I remember a lot of my dreams now

Rave - asdlfksdajflksdjlfkjsdalkfjlksdjalfkjalhahahahahah ahaahaahhhh im happy =D

Originally Posted by tommo

I was about to respond, then basically had the exact conversation in my head that you and louaib had lol
So many beautiful places in India, but quite risky alone. Are there any places that are less risky? Maybe in more natural/less populated areas?
I spose you'd still have to travel to those places anyway....
Damn that sucks that you can't even go somewhere alone.
You could always make friends with some people along the way? Non-Indians. There are a lot of tourists there these days.

Is it hard to get a passport in India?

It will take ages to get a passport, and I don't want to travel too far as it's my first trip alone. And really don't want to make friends along the way, whether Indians or not . I'd be glad if nobody tries to talk to me throughout the trip! That's the bad part of travelling alone; can't even eat alone at a restaurant without someone trying to make small talk, assuming that you're lonely. I'm searching for tour packages, but they're all for couples and families.

Originally Posted by Anju

It will take ages to get a passport, and I don't want to travel too far as it's my first trip alone. And really don't want to make friends along the way, whether Indians or not . I'd be glad if nobody tries to talk to me throughout the trip! That's the bad part of travelling alone; can't even eat alone at a restaurant without someone trying to make small talk, assuming that you're lonely. I'm searching for tour packages, but they're all for couples and families.

It shouldn't be hard to get a passport unless you have a criminal record or something. You don't care for meeting new people? Are you shy or something?

Originally Posted by FallenSoldiers

It shouldn't be hard to get a passport unless you have a criminal record or something. You don't care for meeting new people? Are you shy or something?

Since I don't have a permanent address where I live right now, I'll have to go to my hometown and do it. And I will have to travel back and forth for all the formalities. Of course, when my dad comes to know, that's the end of it. He's quite adamant that he won't let me get a passport. That's why it's hard.

Nope, I don't care at all for meeting new people. When I'm taking a break from people, I'm not interested in meeting new ones. Not shy; introvert all the way!

I'm very much in some kind of identity crisis lately. I mean, I've been for a long time, and I think everyone is to some degree, but it just feels so intense lately. So insecure about myself, what I can, what I want, what I should, how to do it... Really everything is just super stressful, and I feel that I'm bad at what I do. I don't know a lot, I actually feel really ignorant and incompetent a lot of the time, feels like everyone else knows so much and knows just what to do in each situation, or if not they can figure it out. Many fairly simple situations just completely perplexes me and I don't know what to do.

I applied for an education to become a teacher. And I was instantly accepted. Starts on February 3... But I've also gotten a job offer to continue working where I am now, until Summer. I'm going to do that, it's not like I want to be a teacher anyway. But what I do want to be? I have no clue at all. I currently just try to get better at playing the guitar and doing a handstand. There's a lot of things I want to do and learn, but it feels like I'm in a place that tries to discourage it. I want to learn to skateboard, but I have no time, and going out there alone is incredibly daunting - there's people watching and I have no skills! How are you supposed to learn something like that when you're an adult? And I just wish I could be the person that I am in my mind. Whenever I'm present in the real world, I'm way too hesitant and silly - I could never, for example, sing and give it my everything, or dance properly, because I feel that I'd fuck it up and embarrass myself. So how the hell am I supposed to learn? I want to learn how to sing, and how to dance, but how exactly do I go about it?

On a different note, most days are awesome and I usually come home thinking I had a great time. It's only when I slow down that all the stress becomes 'visible'.