FryingMan

pre-bedtime: Sensei's combo breaker meditation

23:52 bedtime

00:00 Wednesday 2014-06-18

04:52

+ driving on wide empty tree lined streets, seems like a tech company area, turn left at a corner, pass through some stoplights, turn into a parking garage to the left, enter to a restaurant, (inaudible, something about taking people back to there cars, "fully set command"?)

06:54

+ scenes in a fancy restaurant:

sitting on the floor in the restaurant thinking my shirt is ugly/dirty/not fancy enough, I changed into another shirt

see my old house on TV in the background of some news story, I say to my dad, "Look! There's my old house!" dad says no it's not, I look again and see the house is different: decrepit with big holes in the walls.

Sitting at a table middle-aged attractive woman (family friend) is right across from me, then I'm alone at the table with her. She says she has her own business, I look at something written on a piece of paper, and she has a chess set in her office with an ongoing game on it but none of her colleagues make moves. I say "I love to play chess". I start thinking about chess and visualizing a chess board from the side, and how chess is a battle game with not set pattern, it's an open-ended game where you continue on playing until one side checkmates the other side's king. I'm sort of flirting with this woman, we're not alone at the table but right now there is nobody else around so I'm taking this opportunity to flirt with her and maybe arrange a tryst. Then I see my mother sitting a few tables away and I tell her "why are you sitting so far away, come join us" , then I see my cousin GL across the table to my left of the chess woman, GL look bad/tired, she is blinking her eyes which look red and swollen, "oh I feel so tired" she says, I think about all the medications she could be taking. She was saying how she had to leave her daughter K's dinner party "and it's just not a party without me" she said seriously.

Now there's a man sitting across from me. I look down at my shirt and it's a dirty dark maroon t-shirt, I feel ashamed of this dirty shirt in this fine restaurant, I feel really embarrassed. I look down again and see a much more respectable striped golf shirt (I have this shirt IWL), I say how relieved I am not to be wearing that grubby shirt I saw before, and I tell the man across from me how relieved I am not to be wearing that dirty T-shirt. The man across from me is now wearing the T-shirt I was ashamed of except it wasn't dirty. I describe the shirt by saying "it looked just like the one you're wearing," then he starts to take offense, and I try to clarify that my shirt was dirty and his is not.

Leaving the restaurant in a coat check area, 2 small cute girls are smiling at me and talking to me, they ask me "why do you wear a hat?" I answer "because it makes you look taller." They ask me "Why do you wear shoes??" I answer "Because hey protect your feet." I wanted to take their picture but thought their parents wouldn't approve, the girls followed me on my way out of the restaurant and kept waving and smiling at me for a while.

On the way out, my group is meeting with some asian family, one of my party hugs the man, I shake his hand, unsure about hugging him, he reaches out his hand again as he starts to walk by (not offering a hug), and I half-grasp it quickly and awkwardly as I turn to go.

There are now 3 guys sitting behind the bar, they have a tech software start up. They say their work is "in the cloud" and they can build it every night. They say they have set their schedules really tightly and have planned it out far in advance One guy is working at a computer, a few more guys are leaning back on stools against the bar behind them and look really tired, like they've been working a long time. I feel some compassion and say "I know how you feel, buddy."

A platinum-haired woman with a black eye (like she was hit) approaches and speaks with the bar-tender. The bar is really messy full of little bits of trash. She says she had gone out with somebody, and it was surprising because he gave her a black eye.

+ Then the scene transitions and the platinum-haired woman with a black eye is now a gay man (GM1) at home, I'm DO, he's invited another gay man (GM2) to his place for a blind date. GM2 is tall, thin, very light blonde, pale, albino looking, fine/sharp features like an elf, bright eyes. GM1 is playing his favorite music and is carefully observing GM2 for his reaction to this music, and watches GM2's facial expressions. They walk around, go to GM1's bedroom, in his closet, GM1 says "if you want to f%^& me tonight you'd better do better than you are right now." When he says that his face is half visible looking out from behind some clothing hanging in the closet, one bright blue eye. GM2 says he had no intentions of that. They go on for a while about what sort of relationship they want. GM1 has lots of little things spread out on a table, knick-knacks, including something from his dad which is precious to him, he moves it to a lower shelf.

Get up to record this in the bathroom to avoid bothering wife. Try to get back to sleep, and almost on several occasions get back to sleep. Several times saw dreamlets for that vanished as I "looked at" them. Lost consciousness several times but each time movement or snoring from wife woke me back up so just got up for the day. Having a bed partner really sucks for dreaming.